My brother also died by hanging himself. He was in pain for a long time and decided to end it all. He left behind 3 children and at least one of them wants to kill themselves. My brother thought he was just ending his pain but he passed it on to us. His death has separated the family. Everyone has been depressed and not taking care of themselves. My father stayed in bed all day, took showers every four days, loss of hair, and I did all the cooking and cleaning for him following my brothers death. I do not talk to my mother at all because she was part of the problem of why their is so many issues in the family. One of my sisters has anxiety, wants to die, and does not leave the house except to go to work, and sleeps all day on her days off. I also have my own issues as well. My concentration has become horrible, and I forget things when completing tasks. An example of this is, I will go to laundry room to put the washed clothes in the dryer, and I will get to the laundry room and forget what I was there to do. I have a small child to take care of so he kept me going though the grief. I get angry and sad with my family because now I have been tasked with taking care of everyone and keeping them alive. These are the repercussions of what suicide does to a family. My mom tried to kill herself several times over the years before my brothers death so it was already familiar to him. If someone in the family commits suicide or tries to it can become a pattern in the family. My first cousin died by suicide 6 weeks ago : ( In African culture expressing our hurt is seen as a weakness so no one talks about truma or mental illness. I brought up to my dad a few times that I was not okay with how we grew up (abuse) and I was instantly dismissed. I'm sick and tired of feeling sad and angry!
This is the reason i choose to be kind just being kind to people means alot because you will never understand what people go through in life strong mum
This mother's sorrow and sadness is so evident. If i could reach via the screen of this computer and give her a hug, i would. I feel her pain because i have suffered from immense grief and danced on the verge of depression. It was constant which can amount to depression and not bipolar. I am not a Physician by any stretch of the imagination, but based on what Chichi's mother is saying, it seems that he was bipolar. His mother specifically says that one moment he was happy and then another extremely sad. She also mentioned that Chichi was erratic - These is typical signs of Bipolar disorder. Also, when she says that when he would go on walks with his younger siblings, he would "go off" and talk about non-existent things. This is a sign of Schizophrenia. I used to work at a group home when i first relocated to the USA and as a caregiver/health aide, you had to learn how to administer medication and you were expected to learn about the medication for the clients - however, this depended on the company that you worked for. Having said that, i am so sorry for this lady. I can only imagine how she must be blaming herself subsequent to her child's death and being a widow doesn't help one bit. I empathize with her and her family. May God bless you, ma'am. Stay strong! You got this...God's got you!!!
I understand her pain 😭😭😭I lost my cousin Abdullahi ... through suicide...he was good guy .. praying going to the mosque but still depressed.. because he wanted to be a footballer but his father threw his dream away ...his father is insensitive...no mercy ...that's y he developed depression... and no one understood him ..pple thought he's just acting stupid ...😭😭😭... and he drank poison 😭😭😭14/02/2021...I love you cousin...may Your soul rest in peace 🕊️
This is the hardest story to watch as a mother. Gosh!! I felt every pain and tear she shed. As a psych professional, I have to say depression/mental illness is real please let’s be attentive to changes in our loved ones especially the young ones. So sorry Mama Chichi. My heart goes out to you and your children. May God give you comfort. Thanks for sharing this brings light to many.
You are a SUPER WOMAN REALLY Umenifundisha jambo la msingi Sana hapa and it has changed the life style in my family and teaches me on how to go with my kids thanks MAMA TANZANIA
Very true.Mama Chichi you are a very strong woman.Personally you have bn.my"humming bird".My first born son has tried to commit suicide like more than twice but by the grace of God he is still alive.Thanks for your voice God bls.you.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. Must be so hard I cant even imagine. May the Lord continue to give you strength and comfort you all. I'll continue to keep you all in prayer.
I am listening to this as someone who is suicidal suffering from depression. The boy showed the signs of depression,signs of suicidal ideation. Don't ignore the signs
People should learn that people are really wounded out here be kind to one another please especially to those going through loss of a loved be careful with your words.Be kind love one another treat each other with respect you never know you could be the one reason a person will view the world a better place.Smile anyone reading this and always know you are blessed 🙏.
Listen NancyAnne Wanja Music, this is the reason people continue to to BS. The only person here that really needed some kindess in this situation is no longer here. He was so wounded he took his own LIFE! you people need to stop with this politically correct rubbish. Is she doing a GOOD thing by sharing her story? YES! Does it changed the fact that she was a prime contributor to her son's demise? NO. Losing a love one doesn't exempt anyone from accountability.
Sorry mum. Depression is difficult to deal with. I have gone through it,l must say it feels like a deep dark pit, where one falls into, nothing to hold on to, one is not in control of their thoughts, they are all negative,and it feels like suicide is the way out of the pain.So, seeking help is the best thing to do, and most importantly, speaking out about how one feels,this has helped many. All the best mami. May Chichi rest in eternal peace.
People ready need to know Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Life is spiritual, people need to see things from the spiritual aspect. Spiritual attack on your family.
This is the saddest thing I have watched today😢😥😥 It is well Mama Chichi, May the Lord keep embracing you, may you feel His warmth, God has not left, He never leaves, it is well.
Am a favourite fan of what you are doing Justus..most of the stories have changed my thinking on daily life..please make more of these especially men characters God bless you
Dear Mama Chichi, first of all May you be Blessed and feel some peace in your heart and soul as you are a very nurturing mother. From you story, I am experiencing a similar pattern of anger and aggressive behaviour from my grandson of 29 years old. I don't want to tell a long story but my daughter, who is my grandsons mother is bipolar and left my grandson on the street with no home at the age of 16!! When I found out, I quickly went to the streets that he was left in and found him. By this time, he had formed relationships with bad street company. As I am in my 60s, and being supported by my son, I couldn't give hm a home, but I took a peace job so that when I was paid on Fridays, so that I could go and give him food and blankets. He ended up in jail by being caught as a drug mule. Since he has been out of jail, he still has no home, I still take a taxi to take him food when I can. His behaviour has become so aggressive and painful!! He is so self destructive, His anger is terrifying. (it could be his hurt)..He has been stabbed so many times on the street because of his anger. Everytime I try to find a shelter for him, he says he won't go, he would rather die. I have become so ill, emotionally worrying about him. I can't control him. Maybe he has experienced drugs......He wants to commit suicide. I have no words for him only pain. When I see him to give him food, he is so aggressive and nasty. I can only leave this in God's Hands. Take good care of yourself Mama Chichi.
Mama chichi may you b comforted by our OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST who knows wat u r undergoing and may u heal and help other parents who may be passing this.it's heart touching and soul searching.take heart and b strong in the LORD
Sorry mama ...you are strong woman .....out here pple are going through alot we need to be kind to each other... depression is real..am walking my path too
My big sister the brightest in the family has never being the same since form 3, she is now almost 40 living with my parents and severely depressed!! Sometimes we call it being spoiled sometimes we call it depression, it’s exhausting, annoying, heartwrenching and my mother can’t talk about juu ya the stigma of mental illness!!! I don’t know what do to...my parents have spent so much money on counseling, even pastors, and more psychologists...we are so exhausted , it’s pains me for my parents
Has she been diagnosed with depression? Because she could be suffering from something else like Schizophrenia or Bipolar. If not yet diagnosed,kindly let her see a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis, therapy and treatment.
U say she was never the same since form 3. What happened @ form 3? This is a v. important qn for the family to begin to understand why she's in that state. Something must hv triggered that situation. Good luck
It's spiritual dear.Pray to break evil covenants over her life.Most of the time they steal the brightest star.as it is someone else is living her life.Her destiny was exchanged.
😥 Ma brother changed completely when he got to form 3.He has really tested my parents patience but Parents are blessings.they get mad but they never ever give up.He has tried rehab like 6 times all times he is the one who comes up with the idea but relapses same day or next day he gets out.When sober he says he regrets the life decisions he has made,his mates are well moving on with their lives while he is stuck.That pushes him to alcohol.He is just out of rehab I really hope this time is the charm.
What about parents who think mental illness is uchawi? And what about parents who value shame more than the lives of their children? If ur a child in such a situation what do you do when you are depressed?
I don't know what to tell you..can you get him to watch this? It's an illness,engage people he loves/listens to,to get him see a psychiatrist,get a support group of suicide survivors, continue showing him love,may the Lord walk with you and grant you wisdom and peace. May your son live and God give you a testimony out of this. Praying for you
@@annielucia1462 talk to your pastor...as for me,i tried a few men of God but no changes were coming,i really cried to God on my knees,and then from those things they say that doesnot exist,i gathered some very useful information,that helped save the life of my girl...I just turned to God in prayer,and yes God is faithful...from that talk i even knew the origin of the problem
Suicide is really a bad way to end ones life. my young brother committed suicide in 2018, The experience I went through during that period was so bad. I one day hope I'll get a chance to tell the story to the world and show how much suicide by a close relative can affect your life forever.
It's important for parents to observe their kids reaction to different punishment methods because some kids are very sensitive... I have observed this in cats also... some can take a beating and be ok with you but another will withdraw and take such punishment harder... mental wellness should also be a thing in Africa.
There are so many Chichi's out here. We are made to think that they have become difficult. ...someone out there, please tell us what to do whenever we notice changes.... It is a disease that exhausts one......
hi Mama Chichi , i know this story wa 2 years ago but the pain in the story feel like today and am so sorry for your loss and what you and the rest of the family had to suffer has an aftermath. Watching your story is like watching me and my son in the mirror, everything you have described to the T. Iam still at time failing as his care giver because i lose my patience sometimes and harder even when he choses not to take his pshycosis medicine which help. Sometimes i use force to even get himto the pyschatric hospital when he gets aggresive and violent. Its not easy.
It is so so painful. Indeed no other mother should go through the same experiences. The pain is soooo much. Mental health issues must be addressed URGENTLY.
Mental health is real. It is good for parents to talk with their children when they need them. So sorry for the loss of your Son I pray that God Almighty give you wisdom and strength in this hard time🙏🏽
Mental Health is something which should not be taken easily. We all need to take alot of seriousness with our mental health and also help those who are struggling with it. And if there's something that is bothering you, just speak it out...
@@mercynjeri6938 you are not alone..my mother ignored my symptoms for years,symptoms I have now come to realise are associated with depression..she said she thinks I had mapepo and even now when I tell her i feel down she tells me to go to church..some of these parents dont know what they are doing
What a powerful message. I am a mother and I feel your pain. You have a message the youths around the world need to hear. It is painful to loose a child but through this loss you have a message of hope and healing to bring to people suffering from depression because you have seen it firsthand.
I can't explain what I'm going through of late...i don't know why am extremely sad...i cry alot, i get lost. I've never felt like an outcast even though I've always been by myself and it has never bothered me. Don't even know why i keep on thinking. Like they say it takes only one demon to trigger and turmoil your deepest emotions. Hope tomorrow will be better..a day at a time they say🥲
@@SharedMomentswithJustus My mom and sister keep complaining of how much I’ve changed and they use terms like “you are not the Chin we knew”.After a long period of denial,I accepted that all they’ve been saying is true.I’m a bitter person and I hate,I’ve always been planning for suicide but keep on pushing it cz I pitty my mum,she is a widow,an orphan and we just lost my eldest sister recently so I’m giving it time till she heals.I need someone to talk to,please
Thank you for sharing your story,I was wondering why there was no parents not sharing I have seen clips of teenagerse sharing how their sung deep in drugs but no I have never seen of parents of those teenager,you are God sent .may the good Lord wipe your tears.
Hmm Take heart dear Jackie. May the lord continue to give you the fortitude to bear the loss. I learned a lot from the story. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope we can all learn from this .
Its been 13yrs since i lost my sister.Till today you cant mention her name near my mom.she literally loses and cries herself out it if you dare mention my sisters name.I understand this perfectly
Am so sorry for your loss mom. You did your best you could to help and try to understand your son...may God continue to give you strength and grace with your family..
As a young male teacher watching this I am at a loss of words to say, But I will say this there isn an onslaught among our teenagers it's a pandemic you can sense they don't have the skills or virtues to navigate teenagehood, social media and internet is not helping,The mind is the most powerful thing in a human being we must really be mindful the way we are raising our teenagers we should look at what they are watching who are their friends what music they are listening, when I was a teenager I was not taking the right path but I masked it up so well because I didn't want to disappoint my mum and the way she was struggling for me so I hid it until a time I stopped doing the thing and also I feared my mom and dad so I dared not do some things but I realize times have changed since I was a teenager but there is an onslaught on our young people who are the future generations of the country and if they are destabilized we have no future...
I lost my brother on 27th November 2019. He committed suicide. I know exactly what you are going thru considering he did it while residing with me. I have never understood why.
You may never know the answer to that my dear. I wish I could share Chichis post mortem report. Everything inside him, every organ was NORMAL.it was his mental state. Something only him and his creator know. Be comforted dear. Be comforted!
What a traumatic story? I feel broken, scared and with many questions haki! Sorry Mama Chichi. It must be tough for you and your family but my prayer is that the God who gave you Chichi would walk you through the storm.
JACKIE,sorry dear-i know that pain that no one can take away-i lost my child too-attempted suicide twice-this is severe mental illness and we need a COMMISSION IN KENYA to address mental wellness.
Thank you Mama Chichi for sharing your son's story to the world and helping to break the stigma associated with suicide. Continue to inspire and all the best in your political career💕. Also, Thank you Justus for helping bring about uncomfortable conversations often thrown under the rug in this society👏. I wish every African parent would watch this. Depression is real and mental health needs much more awareness especially on this continent. #suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness
It was too much for him in his heart he lost his father and mum and sister together bitting him she did not see it coming sorry mum sometimes just look at him and leave
I feel sorry for you mother, i pray that you will get over the grief and loss period, its unfortunate that you did not get much support from the Pastors, even though visiting was restricted during Covid, at least they should have done constant counselling over the phone and also prayed for you and family, they should have given you supporting biblical verses.
Mama Chichi is beautiful in and out...am so sorry mama this happened...you tried your best ,you really did...and its amazing how you are changing the whole narrative of mental health...Chichi is happy in heaven ...sending hugs and love to you and your family..God will shield you and your family
So sad. I have been struggling with severe depression but getting better every day. Mental illness is real and many people still don't understand it and don't know how to deal with it. I stopped talking about it because people just don't get it. Don't blame yourself Mama Chichi; you did your best. Hugs Mama. So sorry for your loss. I used to get suicidal thoughts but never went through with it because of the love I have for my parents. I wouldn't want my Mother to cry and feel such pain.
The first time I heard her story I felt like shedding tears...Your tears is even more painful than the story.It is well mama.Justus keep up the good work, though late but I got the whole story.Thank you
Once you take drugs ,you open a spiritual door that is very dangerous. There's lot of spiritual contamination that has happened that I sense .Let's be on our knees for our families. Only God and I mean only Him could've intervene.
Wow...the pain of loosing a child is so unbearable.This was so saddening.Mama Chichi you are one strong woman and an inspiration to other mothers. May your sons soul rest in peace and may you find solace in the Lord.
Waaaa thanks so much for sharing thru this difficulty.. This is so helpful esp the need to reach out when I start noticing red flags.. Also the close friends should be urgent to alert the family members if they notice anything weird or seek rehabilitation.. It's not easy.. Thanks for the sharing
Am so sorry my fellow Mama for the pain you have gone through losing your husband and son. May the Lord touch you deeply and may He give you beauty for ashes and strength for fear, when sorrow overwhelm you. Hugs to you Mama Chichi.
Thank you mama Chichi for sharing your story. I can't even imagine your pain. I'm a mother of three and I do emphasize with your situation. I'm glad you are speaking out, it is part of healing. I'll say a prayer for you and may the Lord's mercy and love surround you all days of your life.
Mama chichi, thank you so much for for moving, educative and learning lesson story. I can vouch here in day twilight that your story is unique in many ways than one! 1. Your story has a cause-effect relationship. By your own words and towards the end you have acknowledged that had you done things differently, your son could be alive today. 2. It is rare for majority of single mothers and widows to come out openly to speak on such emotive subjects and failures that results to devastating results. Kudos. 3. By your story I wish to remind our great mothers bringing up children alone that they have a full responsibility to act as mother and mother and where overwhelmed they should seek intervention using a father figure. This was the critical point of departure that ultimately led to the tragic end of the young promising 21yrs old son. 4. As parents, its true that we have our own ambitions, aspirations and love life to chase, but when you have kids to fend for, please give first priority to their welfare for when you don't, you create avoid that results to such devastating end like this. 5. Depression takes gradual build up. It is not a one day event. By the time it reaches chronic stage, as a parent know that you are the one that tolerated the accelerating effect. At the point where chichi, kept demanding to go to this school, that school, the other school, the mother had a chance to seek attention because that was a red flag. The chewing of miraa, fights with siblings, asking for Auxiliary cable and instead of buying for him kept demanding to be told what it is, withdrawing to bed, cooking using baking flour and coming to church bare foot and a towel rubbed round his head. All this were fully pronounced red flags that were calling for immediate alert for remedy. In as much us we don't judge the aggrieved parents contribute to the mental health challenges that affect their children to death. For you that is reading this educative story, let it teach a lesson in as much as we empathise and feel God our sister. She has told you, she now realises where she could have done better herself . For you, tread with caution and walk with your children closely by first, establishing friendship with them and two, being sensitive to their change of behaviour or orientation. Had caution could have been taken, Chichi could be alive today. 6. Single mothers by choice or by circumstances, never chestthump saying your are self sufficient away from a man/father of your children. Children especially boys can be so unruly. Men have their own ugly sides. Some sperm donors hit and run, granted but, see how best your can bring up that child with a father figure around him. There is a special role a man plays in a child. Each of the two parents have special and unique roles to impact to the child. Had this child been around a father figure, what happened may not have happened. It could have been mitigated at the point of changing of schools or taking Miraa or working as a tout. There are so many voids that were emerging every time in chichi development that his mother was not sensitive to. But with that, you who is listening to this story and still have teenagers and adolescents, what are you going to do to avoid the next death by suicide? 7. Mama Chichi, immediately your son passed on, you could have taken time to heal and then deliberately take your children for therapy as a matter of priority especially the daughter that used to have beefs with the deceased. Group therapy was a mistake. Individual therapy was to take precedent then later you go as a family. They were rebelling because in one common room discussing their deep personal secrets in your presence was not easy. Next time take them to different therapist but as individuals. A child especially the deceased was going through alot, most of which was to do with you and him, He could not have aloud your presence when venting his frustrations. Parents, a psychiatrist and a counselling psychologist are two different people but when using the later literally, it implies a mad person Doctor to examine your child. Mama chichi could have used a counsellor as Chichi called upon but by mentioning psychologist she dampened his spirit and made him rebel. Indeed 80% of people hearing that word, they think they are a Mathare mental case and they revere. She failed to follow up quickly otherwise she could have saved the son.We do not judge her though, but reminding her that she needs to be alert for the other remaining children. Until and unless, we the normal family members identify and interrogate our children/siblings behaviour, them the affected cannot self-diagnise. True Mama, Chichi, that police, mental health practioners and researchers can create policies to help mitigate mental health challenges but until you and me identify the symptoms early and present them to the stakeholders, how will they know? In your son's case, everything happened within the precincts of your own home from A-Z, had you mentioned it to an institution or 3rd party Individual, is the only way it could have come to the fore. With every glaring symptoms playing right on your eyes, you never made anyone else to know there is a problem. Your son could have been saved. Stakeholders and policies alone, are not enough, we the parents take 75% mitigation agency for meaningful solutions to be found.
My brother also died by hanging himself. He was in pain for a long time and decided to end it all. He left behind 3 children and at least one of them wants to kill themselves. My brother thought he was just ending his pain but he passed it on to us. His death has separated the family. Everyone has been depressed and not taking care of themselves. My father stayed in bed all day, took showers every four days, loss of hair, and I did all the cooking and cleaning for him following my brothers death. I do not talk to my mother at all because she was part of the problem of why their is so many issues in the family. One of my sisters has anxiety, wants to die, and does not leave the house except to go to work, and sleeps all day on her days off. I also have my own issues as well. My concentration has become horrible, and I forget things when completing tasks. An example of this is, I will go to laundry room to put the washed clothes in the dryer, and I will get to the laundry room and forget what I was there to do. I have a small child to take care of so he kept me going though the grief. I get angry and sad with my family because now I have been tasked with taking care of everyone and keeping them alive. These are the repercussions of what suicide does to a family. My mom tried to kill herself several times over the years before my brothers death so it was already familiar to him. If someone in the family commits suicide or tries to it can become a pattern in the family. My first cousin died by suicide 6 weeks ago : ( In African culture expressing our hurt is seen as a weakness so no one talks about truma or mental illness. I brought up to my dad a few times that I was not okay with how we grew up (abuse) and I was instantly dismissed. I'm sick and tired of feeling sad and angry!
Don’t give up. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel
You need to go for family therapy then each of you individual therapy. Take heart
@@shesonpurpose340 Thank you, for the reply.
wah thats a loadful Becky. Please go to William Kimani . He is a warrior in prayer and fasting
Just talk to God....there's peace there
I can't hold my tears,the pain is unbearable. Sorry mum may you find peace. It will take time but God heals.
The stigma attached to a suicide death ,makes the loss even more painful. Mama chichi may the Lord God comfort you ,heal your heart ❤️❤️❤️🙏
This is the reason i choose to be kind just being kind to people means alot because you will never understand what people go through in life strong mum
This mother's sorrow and sadness is so evident. If i could reach via the screen of this computer and give her a hug, i would. I feel her pain because i have suffered from immense grief and danced on the verge of depression. It was constant which can amount to depression and not bipolar. I am not a Physician by any stretch of the imagination, but based on what Chichi's mother is saying, it seems that he was bipolar. His mother specifically says that one moment he was happy and then another extremely sad. She also mentioned that Chichi was erratic - These is typical signs of Bipolar disorder. Also, when she says that when he would go on walks with his younger siblings, he would "go off" and talk about non-existent things. This is a sign of Schizophrenia. I used to work at a group home when i first relocated to the USA and as a caregiver/health aide, you had to learn how to administer medication and you were expected to learn about the medication for the clients - however, this depended on the company that you worked for. Having said that, i am so sorry for this lady. I can only imagine how she must be blaming herself subsequent to her child's death and being a widow doesn't help one bit. I empathize with her and her family. May God bless you, ma'am. Stay strong! You got this...God's got you!!!
This one needs your attention guys! Tune in tonight at exactly 8pm EAT. See you then and kindly subscribe
I understand her pain 😭😭😭I lost my cousin Abdullahi ... through suicide...he was good guy .. praying going to the mosque but still depressed.. because he wanted to be a footballer but his father threw his dream away ...his father is insensitive...no mercy ...that's y he developed depression... and no one understood him ..pple thought he's just acting stupid ...😭😭😭... and he drank poison 😭😭😭14/02/2021...I love you cousin...may Your soul rest in peace 🕊️
This woman is a Power House!
Fellow Kenyans, please vote for her!
Fellow women, she will represent US well... 💖💖
This is the hardest story to watch as a mother. Gosh!! I felt every pain and tear she shed. As a psych professional, I have to say depression/mental illness is real please let’s be attentive to changes in our loved ones especially the young ones. So sorry Mama Chichi. My heart goes out to you and your children. May God give you comfort. Thanks for sharing this brings light to many.
You are a SUPER WOMAN REALLY Umenifundisha jambo la msingi Sana hapa and it has changed the life style in my family and teaches me on how to go with my kids thanks MAMA TANZANIA
Mama chichi has spoken for many people.... depression is real and we need to address it as a society
True💯
Very true.Mama Chichi you are a very strong woman.Personally you have bn.my"humming bird".My first born son has tried to commit suicide like more than twice but by the grace of God he is still alive.Thanks for your voice God bls.you.
I understand you lady . You did what any good mother would do. Very difficult as a single parent
From the shift of emotions I think chichi was also suffering from bipolar , besides being depressed. RIP chichi and all shall be well mama chichi.
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. Must be so hard I cant even imagine. May the Lord continue to give you strength and comfort you all.
I'll continue to keep you all in prayer.
I am listening to this as someone who is suicidal suffering from depression. The boy showed the signs of depression,signs of suicidal ideation. Don't ignore the signs
you're never alone, we love you. God bless.
You are never alone
People should learn that people are really wounded out here be kind to one another please especially to those going through loss of a loved be careful with your words.Be kind love one another treat each other with respect you never know you could be the one reason a person will view the world a better place.Smile anyone reading this and always know you are blessed 🙏.
.....Especially those going through the loss of a loved one....BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS!
Listen NancyAnne Wanja Music, this is the reason people continue to to BS. The only person here that really needed some kindess in this situation is no longer here. He was so wounded he took his own LIFE! you people need to stop with this politically correct rubbish. Is she doing a GOOD thing by sharing her story? YES! Does it changed the fact that she was a prime contributor to her son's demise? NO. Losing a love one doesn't exempt anyone from accountability.
Thank you for this message
True, people are hurting especially from failed marriages and broken relationships too
Sorry mum.
Depression is difficult to deal with.
I have gone through it,l must say it feels like a deep dark pit, where one falls into, nothing to hold on to, one is not in control of their thoughts, they are all negative,and it feels like suicide is the way out of the pain.So, seeking help is the best thing to do, and most importantly, speaking out about how one feels,this has helped many.
All the best mami.
May Chichi rest in eternal peace.
People ready need to know
Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walketh about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.
Life is spiritual, people need to see things from the spiritual aspect.
Spiritual attack on your family.
Well said 👏 👌 spot on , exactly my point right from the beginning of the story ...Life is spiritual.
This is the saddest thing I have watched today😢😥😥 It is well Mama Chichi, May the Lord keep embracing you, may you feel His warmth, God has not left, He never leaves, it is well.
Am a favourite fan of what you are doing Justus..most of the stories have changed my thinking on daily life..please make more of these especially men characters
God bless you
I watched her in another video and couldn't hold.
May God wipe your tears mummy.Its well.
Dear Mama Chichi, first of all May you be Blessed and feel some peace in your heart and soul as you are a very nurturing mother. From you story, I am experiencing a similar pattern of anger and aggressive behaviour from my grandson of 29 years old.
I don't want to tell a long story but my daughter, who is my grandsons mother is bipolar and left my grandson on the street with no home at the age of 16!!
When I found out, I quickly went to the streets that he was left in and found him. By this time, he had formed relationships with bad street company.
As I am in my 60s, and being supported by my son, I couldn't give hm a home, but I took a peace job so that when I was paid on Fridays, so that I could go and give him food and blankets.
He ended up in jail by being caught as a drug mule.
Since he has been out of jail, he still has no home, I still take a taxi to take him food when I can.
His behaviour has become so aggressive and painful!! He is so self destructive, His anger is terrifying. (it could be his hurt)..He has been stabbed so many times on the street because of his anger. Everytime I try to find a shelter for him, he says he won't go, he would rather die.
I have become so ill, emotionally worrying about him. I can't control him.
Maybe he has experienced drugs......He wants to commit suicide. I have no words for
him only pain.
When I see him to give him food, he is so aggressive and nasty.
I can only leave this in God's Hands.
Take good care of yourself Mama Chichi.
Blessings your way @Linda we're praying with you. May your interventions be sufficient and God's transforming power take center stage
Mama chichi may you b comforted by our OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST who knows wat u r undergoing and may u heal and help other parents who may be passing this.it's heart touching and soul searching.take heart and b strong in the LORD
Sorry mama ...you are strong woman .....out here pple are going through alot we need to be kind to each other... depression is real..am walking my path too
My big sister the brightest in the family has never being the same since form 3, she is now almost 40 living with my parents and severely depressed!! Sometimes we call it being spoiled sometimes we call it depression, it’s exhausting, annoying, heartwrenching and my mother can’t talk about juu ya the stigma of mental illness!!! I don’t know what do to...my parents have spent so much money on counseling, even pastors, and more psychologists...we are so exhausted , it’s pains me for my parents
Pole sana to you and your family. Maybe see a psychiatrist.
Has she been diagnosed with depression?
Because she could be suffering from something else like Schizophrenia or Bipolar.
If not yet diagnosed,kindly let her see a psychiatrist for proper diagnosis, therapy and treatment.
You can take her to Chiromo Mental Hospital she will get help there.
U say she was never the same since form 3. What happened @ form 3? This is a v. important qn for the family to begin to understand why she's in that state. Something must hv triggered that situation. Good luck
It's spiritual dear.Pray to break evil covenants over her life.Most of the time they steal the brightest star.as it is someone else is living her life.Her destiny was exchanged.
This is hard but am glad you are brave to share your story...Be strong and keep talking...never judge a parent
Jackie,take hear my sister God is in control. Depression is real.
😥 Ma brother changed completely when he got to form 3.He has really tested my parents patience but Parents are blessings.they get mad but they never ever give up.He has tried rehab like 6 times all times he is the one who comes up with the idea but relapses same day or next day he gets out.When sober he says he regrets the life decisions he has made,his mates are well moving on with their lives while he is stuck.That pushes him to alcohol.He is just out of rehab I really hope this time is the charm.
God have Mercy on him.
God will intervene🙇♀️🙇♂️
Hang strong dear sister, you are very real, honest and you did the best you knew to do..
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Sending hugs to you. As a school counsellor, I concur with your sentiments to young people to always open up
Education has done something to diminish our humaneness. God help us to be kind to others as they go through tough times.
What about parents who think mental illness is uchawi? And what about parents who value shame more than the lives of their children? If ur a child in such a situation what do you do when you are depressed?
Oh gosh Jackie so sorry hope marggy n the rest r ok
Take heart mum and please dont be so hard on yourself. According to your story!!!!! You are not a bad mother...it shall be well with you.
I am at a difficult place with my son. He is going through similar experiences Jacky is describing. I urgently need help for him.
I don't know what to tell you..can you get him to watch this? It's an illness,engage people he loves/listens to,to get him see a psychiatrist,get a support group of suicide survivors, continue showing him love,may the Lord walk with you and grant you wisdom and peace. May your son live and God give you a testimony out of this. Praying for you
Also seek spiritual help,you will be surprised at what you will find out
@@nyarsakwa1492 what is spiritual help and who are the consultants? Name afew please.
@@annielucia1462 talk to your pastor...as for me,i tried a few men of God but no changes were coming,i really cried to God on my knees,and then from those things they say that doesnot exist,i gathered some very useful information,that helped save the life of my girl...I just turned to God in prayer,and yes God is faithful...from that talk i even knew the origin of the problem
May God grant you strength. Praying for your son and you.
Suicide is really a bad way to end ones life. my young brother committed suicide in 2018, The experience I went through during that period was so bad. I one day hope I'll get a chance to tell the story to the world and show how much suicide by a close relative can affect your life forever.
Sorry for your loss Anthony
@@SharedMomentswithJustus thanks
It's important for parents to observe their kids reaction to different punishment methods because some kids are very sensitive... I have observed this in cats also... some can take a beating and be ok with you but another will withdraw and take such punishment harder... mental wellness should also be a thing in Africa.
There are so many Chichi's out here. We are made to think that they have become difficult. ...someone out there, please tell us what to do whenever we notice changes....
It is a disease that exhausts one......
hi Mama Chichi , i know this story wa 2 years ago but the pain in the story feel like today and am so sorry for your loss and what you and the rest of the family had to suffer has an aftermath. Watching your story is like watching me and my son in the mirror, everything you have described to the T. Iam still at time failing as his care giver because i lose my patience sometimes and harder even when he choses not to take his pshycosis medicine which help. Sometimes i use force to even get himto the pyschatric hospital when he gets aggresive and violent. Its not easy.
It is so so painful. Indeed no other mother should go through the same experiences. The pain is soooo much. Mental health issues must be addressed URGENTLY.
This made me cry. Is there a way I can personally reach out to this Mother.
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Mental health is real. It is good for parents to talk with their children when they need them. So sorry for the loss of your Son I pray that God Almighty give you wisdom and strength in this hard time🙏🏽
Mental Health is something which should not be taken easily. We all need to take alot of seriousness with our mental health and also help those who are struggling with it. And if there's something that is bothering you, just speak it out...
Sometimes it is not easy to speak out, the 'environment' needs to be safe
Speak to who? A person like my mother believes my depression is uchawi..she values shame more than my life
@@CK-ps7sm you can find someone outside your home
Most of my family members believes mental illness is witchcraft too
@@mercynjeri6938 you are not alone..my mother ignored my symptoms for years,symptoms I have now come to realise are associated with depression..she said she thinks I had mapepo and even now when I tell her i feel down she tells me to go to church..some of these parents dont know what they are doing
Am sincerely Sorry Mama Chichi for the loss, pain, stress and anger. May The Lord grant you and your Family HIS peace, strength and Patience.
Thank you for sharing your story.... May God grant you all peace ❤
So heartbreaking 💔. You and your family did your best. May God heal the whole family 👪
I feel her pain....this is exactly what we went through,,its hurting though
Hugs to you
What a powerful message. I am a mother and I feel your pain. You have a message the youths around the world need to hear. It is painful to loose a child but through this loss you have a message of hope and healing to bring to people suffering from depression because you have seen it firsthand.
This hits closer home.Hugs maa'ma Chichi.
I can't explain what I'm going through of late...i don't know why am extremely sad...i cry alot, i get lost. I've never felt like an outcast even though I've always been by myself and it has never bothered me. Don't even know why i keep on thinking. Like they say it takes only one demon to trigger and turmoil your deepest emotions. Hope tomorrow will be better..a day at a time they say🥲
It shall be well Truphena. Let me know if you need someone to talk to
@@SharedMomentswithJustus My mom and sister keep complaining of how much I’ve changed and they use terms like “you are not the Chin we knew”.After a long period of denial,I accepted that all they’ve been saying is true.I’m a bitter person and I hate,I’ve always been planning for suicide but keep on pushing it cz I pitty my mum,she is a widow,an orphan and we just lost my eldest sister recently so I’m giving it time till she heals.I need someone to talk to,please
@@merylchinsky226 wish i could be positive for you but, I'm also trying to calm my own demons over here. All i know is that am hurting 💔
I hope we will be okay soon...all is well
kindly see a counsellor or join a group where you can talk and be heard @Truphen and Chinsky. Send you loads of love to both of you
Jackie, may God continue to comfort you & your family. Thank you for being a mental health advocate.
Thank you for sharing your story,I was wondering why there was no parents not sharing I have seen clips of teenagerse sharing how their sung deep in drugs but no I have never seen of parents of those teenager,you are God sent .may the good Lord wipe your tears.
Sending all the hugs mama Chichi. I'm so sorry this happened and you remind me so much of my mum 🙏❤️
Am struggling with depression and anxiety.. losing my biological Mummy through suicidal....
hugs...so sorry@Robai
@@phyllisnjaari7289 thanks 😊
Thanks for sharing your story mum.It will go a long way in saving lives. God bless you.
Hmm Take heart dear Jackie. May the lord continue to give you the fortitude to bear the loss. I learned a lot from the story. Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope we can all learn from this .
premier gang, count me in
Its been 13yrs since i lost my sister.Till today you cant mention her name near my mom.she literally loses and cries herself out it if you dare mention my sisters name.I understand this perfectly
Thank you Enrieta. Thank you for understanding
Hi Enrieta,
Kindly consider taking your Mum for therapy.
Pole mama, pole sana. It's really painful, may the Holy Spirit comfort you
May you find peace Mama. May Jehovah himself give you peace. May he dry your tears.
I listened to you at Break the silence. Hugs and more hugs to you.
Am so sorry for your loss mom.
You did your best you could to help and try to understand your son...may God continue to give you strength and grace with your family..
Sadly Mama Chichi was so overwhelmed that she Never realized How depressed the son was very very sad
As a young male teacher watching this I am at a loss of words to say, But I will say this there isn an onslaught among our teenagers it's a pandemic you can sense they don't have the skills or virtues to navigate teenagehood, social media and internet is not helping,The mind is the most powerful thing in a human being we must really be mindful the way we are raising our teenagers we should look at what they are watching who are their friends what music they are listening, when I was a teenager I was not taking the right path but I masked it up so well because I didn't want to disappoint my mum and the way she was struggling for me so I hid it until a time I stopped doing the thing and also I feared my mom and dad so I dared not do some things but I realize times have changed since I was a teenager but there is an onslaught on our young people who are the future generations of the country and if they are destabilized we have no future...
You are strong mama chichi keep up.
I lost my brother on 27th November 2019. He committed suicide. I know exactly what you are going thru considering he did it while residing with me. I have never understood why.
We take each day at a time. We thank God, his grace is sufficient.
So heartbreaking💔 may he continue RIP
You may never know the answer to that my dear. I wish I could share Chichis post mortem report. Everything inside him, every organ was NORMAL.it was his mental state. Something only him and his creator know. Be comforted dear. Be comforted!
To end his pain. Its so hard for you to understand, as someone living with depression, I fully understand.
What a traumatic story? I feel broken, scared and with many questions haki! Sorry Mama Chichi. It must be tough for you and your family but my prayer is that the God who gave you Chichi would walk you through the storm.
JACKIE,sorry dear-i know that pain that no one can take away-i lost my child too-attempted suicide twice-this is severe mental illness and we need a COMMISSION IN KENYA to address mental wellness.
Flo, please get in touch. Contacts above. 🙏
May the almighty God walk with us and our children every single step we take. I pray for you and your family. May Chichi's soul rest in eternal peace.
This is powerful... thank you for sharing...
@@MentalWellnessWithWaihiga finally!
Thanks for sharing your story Jacqi. May God continue to strengthen you and your family as you celebrate the memories you shared with Chichi
Thank you Mama Chichi for sharing your son's story to the world and helping to break the stigma associated with suicide. Continue to inspire and all the best in your political career💕.
Also, Thank you Justus for helping bring about uncomfortable conversations often thrown under the rug in this society👏.
I wish every African parent would watch this. Depression is real and mental health needs much more awareness especially on this continent.
#suicideprevention #mentalhealthawareness
Thanks @Cherry Makena for adding your voice to this important subject. Let's share this with as many as need to hear it
It was too much for him in his heart he lost his father and mum and sister together bitting him she did not see it coming sorry mum sometimes just look at him and leave
How can i reach her please?
Its been one year since my son unlived himself too...funny thing I had seen your story how you are able to talk about it I dont know. I still cant.
So sorry
So sorry may God give you grace and peace mama
Thank you for sharing your story
May you heal and continue blessing the world…
This is tragic...I thank God as he continues to work in you and hopefully one day you will find answers......God be with you....
Sending love light and healing to you and your family mama chichi
I feel sorry for you mother, i pray that you will get over the grief and loss period, its unfortunate that you did not get much support from the Pastors, even though visiting was restricted during Covid, at least they should have done constant counselling over the phone and also prayed for you and family, they should have given you supporting biblical verses.
I pray for our dear Lord Jesus to keep you safe, console you, offer you refuge under his wings....until these storm passes by!
Mama Chichi is beautiful in and out...am so sorry mama this happened...you tried your best ,you really did...and its amazing how you are changing the whole narrative of mental health...Chichi is happy in heaven ...sending hugs and love to you and your family..God will shield you and your family
So sad. I have been struggling with severe depression but getting better every day. Mental illness is real and many people still don't understand it and don't know how to deal with it. I stopped talking about it because people just don't get it.
Don't blame yourself Mama Chichi; you did your best. Hugs Mama. So sorry for your loss.
I used to get suicidal thoughts but never went through with it because of the love I have for my parents. I wouldn't want my Mother to cry and feel such pain.
You are healing mama...hope your children are too.
Praying for you
Mama Chichi pole sana. May God comfort you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story it will help other young people.
Ma'am I applaud you ... may the Lord use you to the full extent of your purpose; to honour Chichi
One of my favourite topics this season
The first time I heard her story I felt like shedding tears...Your tears is even more painful than the story.It is well mama.Justus keep up the good work, though late but I got the whole story.Thank you
Once you take drugs ,you open a spiritual door that is very dangerous. There's lot of spiritual contamination that has happened that I sense .Let's be on our knees for our families. Only God and I mean only Him could've intervene.
Sorry Mom.It was not your fault.You were just trying to be a mother.May the grace of God overwhelm you.Its painful.
Wow...the pain of loosing a child is so unbearable.This was so saddening.Mama Chichi you are one strong woman and an inspiration to other mothers. May your sons soul rest in peace and may you find solace in the Lord.
Me camped here already super 😭
A World of PURE PAIN... 😢😢😢
Hugs beautiful,strong woman and may God continue comforting you🙏❤
Waaaa thanks so much for sharing thru this difficulty.. This is so helpful esp the need to reach out when I start noticing red flags.. Also the close friends should be urgent to alert the family members if they notice anything weird or seek rehabilitation.. It's not easy.. Thanks for the sharing
Am so sorry my fellow Mama for the pain you have gone through losing your husband and son. May the Lord touch you deeply and may He give you beauty for ashes and strength for fear, when sorrow overwhelm you. Hugs to you Mama Chichi.
Sorry mama its real painful...just God can heal your heart. May He comfort you
Amen
Thank you mama Chichi for sharing your story. I can't even imagine your pain. I'm a mother of three and I do emphasize with your situation. I'm glad you are speaking out, it is part of healing. I'll say a prayer for you and may the Lord's mercy and love surround you all days of your life.
Very sad sorry mum for your loss, may God give you strength to carry on. Peace and love
I am so sorry Mama Chichi❤.... May you all find peace.❤
Mama chichi, thank you so much for for moving, educative and learning lesson story. I can vouch here in day twilight that your story is unique in many ways than one!
1. Your story has a cause-effect relationship. By your own words and towards the end you have acknowledged that had you done things differently, your son could be alive today.
2. It is rare for majority of single mothers and widows to come out openly to speak on such emotive subjects and failures that results to devastating results. Kudos.
3. By your story I wish to remind our great mothers bringing up children alone that they have a full responsibility to act as mother and mother and where overwhelmed they should seek intervention using a father figure. This was the critical point of departure that ultimately led to the tragic end of the young promising 21yrs old son.
4. As parents, its true that we have our own ambitions, aspirations and love life to chase, but when you have kids to fend for, please give first priority to their welfare for when you don't, you create avoid that results to such devastating end like this.
5. Depression takes gradual build up. It is not a one day event. By the time it reaches chronic stage, as a parent know that you are the one that tolerated the accelerating effect. At the point where chichi, kept demanding to go to this school, that school, the other school, the mother had a chance to seek attention because that was a red flag. The chewing of miraa, fights with siblings, asking for Auxiliary cable and instead of buying for him kept demanding to be told what it is, withdrawing to bed, cooking using baking flour and coming to church bare foot and a towel rubbed round his head. All this were fully pronounced red flags that were calling for immediate alert for remedy. In as much us we don't judge the aggrieved parents contribute to the mental health challenges that affect their children to death. For you that is reading this educative story, let it teach a lesson in as much as we empathise and feel God our sister. She has told you, she now realises where she could have done better herself . For you, tread with caution and walk with your children closely by first, establishing friendship with them and two, being sensitive to their change of behaviour or orientation. Had caution could have been taken, Chichi could be alive today.
6. Single mothers by choice or by circumstances, never chestthump saying your are self sufficient away from a man/father of your children. Children especially boys can be so unruly. Men have their own ugly sides. Some sperm donors hit and run, granted but, see how best your can bring up that child with a father figure around him. There is a special role a man plays in a child. Each of the two parents have special and unique roles to impact to the child. Had this child been around a father figure, what happened may not have happened. It could have been mitigated at the point of changing of schools or taking Miraa or working as a tout. There are so many voids that were emerging every time in chichi development that his mother was not sensitive to. But with that, you who is listening to this story and still have teenagers and adolescents, what are you going to do to avoid the next death by suicide?
7. Mama Chichi, immediately your son passed on, you could have taken time to heal and then deliberately take your children for therapy as a matter of priority especially the daughter that used to have beefs with the deceased. Group therapy was a mistake. Individual therapy was to take precedent then later you go as a family. They were rebelling because in one common room discussing their deep personal secrets in your presence was not easy. Next time take them to different therapist but as individuals. A child especially the deceased was going through alot, most of which was to do with you and him, He could not have aloud your presence when venting his frustrations.
Parents, a psychiatrist and a counselling psychologist are two different people but when using the later literally, it implies a mad person Doctor to examine your child. Mama chichi could have used a counsellor as Chichi called upon but by mentioning psychologist she dampened his spirit and made him rebel. Indeed 80% of people hearing that word, they think they are a Mathare mental case and they revere. She failed to follow up quickly otherwise she could have saved the son.We do not judge her though, but reminding her that she needs to be alert for the other remaining children.
Until and unless, we the normal family members identify and interrogate our children/siblings behaviour, them the affected cannot self-diagnise.
True Mama, Chichi, that police, mental health practioners and researchers can create policies to help mitigate mental health challenges but until you and me identify the symptoms early and present them to the stakeholders, how will they know? In your son's case, everything happened within the precincts of your own home from A-Z, had you mentioned it to an institution or 3rd party Individual, is the only way it could have come to the fore. With every glaring symptoms playing right on your eyes, you never made anyone else to know there is a problem. Your son could have been saved. Stakeholders and policies alone, are not enough, we the parents take 75% mitigation agency for meaningful solutions to be found.
Acknowledged and Noted dear friend.🙏
hugs mummy....you are strong and beautiful!
Mom i truly feel for you. There is evil all around. Mental health is also spiritual sickness .
I hope mama and her family are doing well, such a strong family now advocating for mental health.Inshallah God heals you all💕
Sorry for your loss mum .All shall be well 🙏