I 100% relate to this… literally down to the “girlfriend” drop. I cried so bad that night. So embarrassing. But I know a lot of people go through this. I’m so glad to hear people, especially other gay men, opening up about it.
Hell, I've had so many crushes on straight guys and it does drive you crazy. One guy that I worked with used to come by my place a lot after work. He was so damn good looking. He came by so often that my crush started getting worse. I knew he was straight but also single. He knew I was single but not about me being gay. But another friend of mine who he slightly got to know assumed he knew I was gay and blurted something out about my previous "boyfriend". It was out. He said nothing and even came back the next day. But then, I had to have that conversation with him. He assured me that it didn't matter. But as he came more and more often, he would ask me questions. Questions about gay sex. That went right to my head. I was happy to answer all the easy questions that he wanted. Then eventually, I asked him if he ever had an experience or thought about it. He said no. But he kept asking me sexual questions and at some point, they became uncomfortable to answer, but I did anyway, to satisfy all of his curiosity. And of course I thought be was hinting that he wanted to try something and I ask. I told him I'd be happy to try sometimes with him. He said mo, no, in a shy way. It was not clear he meant mo, never. His tone always left a hint as if he was really wanting to do this. I would get more excited with each conversation thinking he's going to say yes eventually. He never did though even though I asked multiple times. It never scared him away though which was impressive and curious at the same time. Nothing ever happened and eventually I got another job at a different location and never saw him again. I suppose that since we were no longer working in the same area, but the same company I might add, he didn't think it was OK to visit and never called again. But for some reason, I still to this day think that he really wanted to and it simply scared him somehow. Who knows. But I hated that we stopped having our visits.
Going through the finishing stages of this rn it’s been 2 years I understand the deep sighs so much. Literally understand so much!!! All we can do is keeping our head up kings 🤞🏾
It's happened to me about four times. They're always the most intense crushes. And I'm going through it currently, lol. It's worse when they know you're gay and are either really dense or intentionally try to play with your heart. And it's amazing you can hold out hope against every clear indication when they're nice to you, like you as a person, and give you attention.
I had this happen to me in college! He was flirting with me while telling me, “we would never be together.” I gave him my power and told him to fuck himself
Honestly, having a crush on a straight guy seems much less complicated than having a crush on a gay guy who's playing hard to get, which is my situation ATM.
@@ChaklitTea It's ridiculous. I feel like I'm gaslighting myself because I thought for sure he was ~the one~, but maybe I'm just a delusional idiot and nothing is real.
That time I got a crush on a straight guy who was the first person irl I told I was gay, it was pretty early in our friendship too. Turns out he's a great, kind and supportive guy and nowadays, I'll consider him as one of my best friends. Years later, I'm still not over that crush, I might even be in love... That sucks...
And isn't ironic...don't you think? It's like raaaaay-raaaaain on your wedding day! 😂😂😂 It's a cute guy on the Internet. And who would've thought "it figures"???😂😂😂
THANKYOU so much for sharing this - I have struggled so much with a crush I’ve had on a guy from my last year of high school (1993), so it’s great hearing someone who has gone through the same thing.
First Matt I’m just so happy to see you again. Looking great man. Don’t overthink that crush....it was pheromones....and pheromones know no sexual orientation. It’s happened to me so often in my life I’ve lost count. Usually the straight guys I fell for were actually ok guys and sometimes I even told them how I felt and it was cool even though it was a game changer. But once (about 6years ago) the same thing happened to me like it did with you and Brandon. The guy was everything. Super fit and good looking, outgoing, intelligent etc. but 1) he was straight and 2) he was totally self-centred. He was fine that I as gay but he played on it.....he flirted and drew me in and used my time and my energy always getting me to do stuff for him (in short, he manipulated me). I was 100% hooked and I’m no dummy. The very thought of him made me weak at the knees and when I was with him, well, let’s just say it was like being under a spell. I thought I was in love with him (maybe I was) but he was a user and self centred and manipulative and I actually knew that all along .... so I think it was mostly pheromones. I know that now (he started seeing a woman but never told me so he could keep me as a soft touch for him as long as it suited him. I found out and he was cocky and cruel about it). Do I feel like a fool? I did but not any more. What I felt was natural....it happens. I came through it. But I’m not sure I’ve let go of my thing about straight guys..... Keep posting when you can Matt. I love it when you drop by (and break my quarantine lockdown blues). ❤️❤️👍🏼
Your story is many gay men's story, including mine. Like Matt says, we are drunk on lust. And that's nothing to be apologetic for cos its totally natural. Its both bitter and sweet for us that our crushes take advantage of our pheromonal weakness. And cruel and crude on their part. But how else could we have gotten near them :)
Nice to see you again. Unfortunately, most of us have been in that position. I had a heartbreaking crush on my straight best friend, in college. When he realized what was going on he stopped hanging around me and transferred to a different college. Thanks to mutual friends, we reconnected and are now friends again. Everything works out the way it's supposed to, if they are meant to be in your life.🏳️🌈
Yup, so well known as a process and situation ... maybe some of the meanness from his side was because he was attracted to you. Good take away is that you do have a heart and can relate emotionally, maybe Mr. B. was not able to emote. Great to see you again here.
Hi. Welcome. You were obsessed. Most of the time i feel something strong and end up feeling some source of depression. I know that feeling. But you know what? We are feeling this way cause we are alive. Very good story telling. Thank you Matt for cheering that.
Needed to hear this. Definitely put some things into perspective for me. Currently trying to get over a crush and like word for word I can relate to your experience. Sorry you had to go through that. Trying to refocus my feelings somewhere else, but its really tough sometimes. I think Im almost there though.
My crush lasted 4 years. We met one winter and ended up living together after 6 months of knowing one another. Everyone at work were convinced we were a couple...even his mom, brother and grandmother thought we were a couple. We lived together, worked together, traveled together and spent holidays together with his family. When I decided to move out of state, he was planning to move with me, and the “kick in the chest” was when he said, “once we move, we can find girlfriends!” I moved and left him behind...
@@MrR1ncehe became very distant, and we talked about it, I agreed to let him keep everything I bought for the house, and even let him keep what was left in our joint account. I just walked away from everything. We talked every day after I left for a few weeks, until he said, “If I was gay, I would date you!” Which told me, he knew he was leading me on…then he asked if he could borrow a large some of money…and I blocked him and moved forward in my life.
@@MrR1nce Thank you for your concern. It was a learning process, but it really made me a better person. It made me realize how incredible I was, and it reinforced my confidence, ensuring that it never happened again. One of the biggest lessons learned was clear communication is vital to any relationship, whether friends, romance even business.
Great story. My favorite part was the competitive argument haha. I've had this kind of hard crush on a straight guy and it lasted for years my goodness. Torture.
Hey Matt, good to see you stranger...you look well. I was 20 and my friend Ed was 18, and we worked together in the catalog warehouse dept at the local Sears store. We had to unload a truck each day, and we developed this working relationship where we did things in sync. We made a good team. Me, being 6’1” and he 5’11” we both weighed about 190. People teased us that we played around like brothers? One day we were wrestling in the warehouse, we both were tired and acting silly chasing each other around all the boxes. Well we started to climb these boxes that were really high up, little did we know they had bedding and pillows. They couldn’t hold our weight , so we fell in, we landed on top of each other, and for what seemed like a long time while we were laughing our faces were like inches apart. We froze with that look only dudes can give. Not sure what would have happened, if one of the girls from the counter hadn’t called us?? We didn’t talk about it, but we still had fun. We worked together for a little over a year. Man, I think I really could have loved him. He had all the best qualities a guy could have. Funny, laughed a lot, kind, a guys guy? We lost contact, but I have never had those feelings for any one else? Oh man, he even had this motorcycle he was so proud of..we would take our break and ride to the local 7/11 to get junk. I’d sit in the back and he would actually pop a wheelie causing me to grab him around the waist. I was so close to falling but I secretly loved when he did it. Ah, his soft little belly, and he always smelled like clean soap. No pretty boy here! Be well and stay safe. Alex from LA
Hi Alex. Sounds like you remember Ed like it was yesterday. Some people leave a mark on your heart. Could he have known what was in those boxes? Whose idea was it to climb them? Either way, you don't seem to have any regrets as such. And fond memories are still fond memories.
Wow, this video is great. My #1 crush is also straight. Met him at work and I've known him for 15 years. He's happily married with two kids. He knows how much I love him. He's a great guy too. Extremely handsome, masculine, and kind too. He's a quiet kind of soul. Strong and stoic. He accepts my love and doesn't push me away. I see him every once in a while. The last time we got together for lunch. He will always be straight. I can't nor do I want to change him. He's perfect as he is. Though my heart will always yearn for him, if you really love someone, you have to love them enough to walk away.
Letting you know that your videos have helped improve my communication while on dates. A lot more conversation driven, more intellectual and engaged. Still love the sex, but more mature and mutual. This helps to weed out the sex-driven types. Thanks very much, Matt. If ever you are in Hawaii, would love to meet and chat.
God bless u Matt I feel u brother I'm going through the same atm its making me self conscious... but hopefully I'll distance myself before it gets ugly
the last couple of guys I crushed on, on some level I knew were straight, because 1)they had a girlfriend 2)others told me they were straight 3) obviously talking about 'she's smoking hot' etc, etc type comments. A lot of my crushes have been at work. And what's so surprising about that? We're surrounded by a plethora of straight men we have to work with every day. It's inevitable. Especially in close confined workspaces, like the service industry. Most of them there was uncertainty if they were straight + certain behaviors that I believed (or you could say read into) that they were attracted to me, flirting with me, etc. Eye contact is usually a huge thing, which initially gets me going. As does getting a 'sense' or a 'vibe' I felt I've been "eye fucked" before, some guys stand really close to me or get in my space, they've made similar flirtacious comments like "best thing in my mouth all day"...and I totally think that seems flirtacious. There was one guy I worked with at my last job that I had no freaking clue was gay. I found out because months later, I randomly stumbled upon his facebook profile and quickly stalked him and saw he was married to a MAN! And when I worked with him, I had NO SENSE, NO VIBE, NOTHING that he was gay, (or say, even, attracted to me) . He seemed pretty masculine and to use the improper-worded, "straight acting". It's guys like this that also feed into fantasies about a guy possibly being gay DESPITE seeming otherwise (on the surface at least, one he says GF or talks Girls, that's a red flag). I've had a hard time letting go of the last crush I had. The crush actually ended moreso in 2016, but I've thought about him pretty consistently since then. It doesn't help holding onto a fantasy, but life just hasn't given me another person to get my mind and heart off him. I truly loved him though, and when he left my life (he stopped working at my job, then he started avoiding me) I was hurting so bad from missing him, and also confused and filled with anxiety. He eventually blocked me on facebook after I wrote him a heart-felt letter. He even told me to stop contacting him and to F off. Although he had told me long before 'he was definitely straight', I think what I wanted or need to hear him say it again to get the message across. Because part of me, since then, off and on, has occassionally hoped or thought he somehow still could be, or could be bi, or feeding into those "gay men having sex with straight guy" fantasies, that somehow, maybe he'd go for me once, even though he's straight. There's a lot that feed into fantasies. What doesn't help is real life feeling empty and like nothing is happening, so I turn back to fantasies. I've let go of my last intense crush several times, only for me to go back to him. I'll get my mind off him, then I'm focusing on meeting new guys IRL, and then it doesn't work out, and then bam. Back to him. It's not a good road to be on, and I don't know why life won't give me the golden ticket I seek. It's not like I'm wanting to be this way, am i? It's not like I'm wanting to be a single, sexless, love-less, gay man in his 30s? The fantasies don't work, but my own real life isn't working right either. It's difficult, but crushing on a straight guy, shocking to believe, would almost feel better than nothing, because at least I'd be feeling something, feeling some kind of lovey feelings, would be turned on, etc.
Ooof that's a tough one. I recommend you pick up a copy of my book: The "Charlie" Manner by PN Mathenjwa! I think all this rushing stuff really just comes down to chemicals in your body. It's like when you take MDMA you feel like you're in love with everybody but when it wears off you go back to normal. Well...according to new research, falling in love with someone is more addictive than heroin. The only problem is, unlike heroin, you can't control what happens when someone just walks into a room and they happen to look like the man of your dreams. It would be like if you're walking down the street minding your business and someone jumps out the alley way and injects you with heroin. Of course you're gonna a go a little bit crazy. It's not your fault though, shiet happens. And there's no methodone for it. The best you can do is distract yourself long enough for it to fade. And to realise that it is just biochemical and you can eat some chocolate to balance it out. It also helps to start dating someone else.
I hope you read my message, I just came across your video. I've been crying for the last 3 hours, the love of my life said no and he's gay... I watched so many videos trying to find closure and Hope. Your story, your words, have provided a Beacon of Hope to heal..Thank you
Pretty much the same. I also got a crush towards a straight guy. He was my classmate and roommate. We spent all threes years of high school together. He’s a good looking guy, also very smart. But what really attracts me is he is very gentle and patient to everyone. We had a really good time together until he had a girlfriend in the last year. However, they broke up when he went to college. I didn’t come out to him. And I never asked him would you like to date with me, too. ‘cause I don’t want to get our relationship in trouble under the circumstances I don’t know whether he’s cool about I’m gay. We are still friends now, and still talks with each other. But I think he has known I like him. We are not that close like before.
I can relate. When I had a crush on a straight guy he turned out to be very mean and would harass me to the point he would block me on social media. This guy I have known since high school name Matt was trying to trick me to admitting to want to see him naked when I just wanted to be friends. He was very religious and he often times call me out to say stop bothering him. It left me extremely stressed out and devastated me mentally and emotionally. It is hard to get over crushes which is why I'm trying to find love from a guy that would love me back. Straights are hard to resist and let go until it gets to a point where someone gets hurt. I feel you and others who have experienced this should find happiness without them.
omg... same.. he offered me a special photo for money and insisted strongly, describing every inch of his whole body that would be in the frame, while after-shower drops would go down his abs. to be completely honest, it was difficult (I have a crush on him), but I said "no. I don't want to do it with a straight guy." he claimed that it'd been just a test and that he'd done it just to find out if I wanted to see his willy.
I believe I'm bi and i had a crush on a guy. But it was the first time i genuinely felt something. I was thinking about him, stalking him on anyy social media, reading his articles blah blah.. even shared somethings only to catch his attention.. Recently i realized that it is not healthy anymore and i decided to directly ask what he is into.. Although he was sending mixed massages, he was straight and that was the end.. kinda relieved and sad at the same time
That was a great story! As I kept hearing you it bought back a lot of memories of my other crushes. I had that similar experience too! Though it was with a gay guy, only thing that was different is he was with someone else and he led me on. He hid his relationship, like he never wanted anyone to be a part of anything to do with him. It's hard when you develop feelings for someone only for them to turn out to be something completely different. I think in your case, it sounded like he wasn't taking care of his mental health at all, but it turned out for the better because you do deserve someone who can reciprocate the same. But bruh, the drunk for lust is real! Lol
Crush on a straight guy? Twice in my life - once in the service; and once just after. Couldn't be close enough for long enough to either guy to suit my longing. Both were good people. Both may have guessed about then closeted me...neither one brought it up for discussion. I was always too fearful of rejection to push it. Wish I had a time machine! Subscribed.
In some ways, not knowing for sure is worse. You might be able to cling to hope, but that's all it gives you. You could meet someone who turns your head again, normally when you least expect it. The question now is, if it happened again, have you learned from what the last past taught you? To at least ask him, even if it did cost you?
@@bootstraphookers8690 I think whatever is going to happen will happen. If it doesn't happen it was never going to happen. If it hasn't happened and you think it might happen, it's very grounding to just bathe in the not-having-happenedness of the present moment. For example, let's say your crush reveals they like you and now you start dating. Okay..then what? Are you willing to re-arrange your life and goals for each other. Are you willing to quit school so you can work 2 jobs to pay a mortgage together? Etc. Thinking about how your lives would actually be together, is a very grounding experience that keeps you in the present moment and makes you grateful that you're not actually dating the dude.
I’ve had a crush on a “straight” guy for over 40 years…met my freshman year in college. He was kind, smart, humorous…😊 I still think about his kindness towards me to this day. Love is love.
I'm going through a lesbian version of what you described. Someone told me she was straight and I fantasize about her being bi. That's a very dangerous place to go I have to face reality. I feel how painful it was. I understand you made this video four years ago, but I just watched it because I am searching videos about how to deal with crushes on straight people. Thank you for your experience. I also get it about people's unusual looks. That usually happens to me too. She's not your ordinary woman with the characteristics and features I usually see in a given race. It goes to show how beautiful we all are no matter what race we are. But I get it about the romantic piece. I don't believe you wanted to be victimized. I think I was attracted to my my person because she drew me to her somehow with her drama and emotional stuff. She was going through a lot of stuff too and the people in charge want to call a conference so we can process our stuff but I've got a feeling it's not going to come out very well it might be very similar to your encounter with your person by the car. Your feelings are beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of. It's just that he doesn't love you back and I think divine intervention did indeed take place because I suspect that if he had reciprocated and there had been a relationship, there might have been other problems. Many blessings. Turquoise
I have a crush on my best friend. 6 months into it and now I'm sure that I'm in love with him. He knows it and says that I'll get over him but i just can't seem to let go. He is a great guy btw...
I had crush on a straight guy when I was in high school. I know exactly how we would feel when we do this. However, straight guys can also be rejected by girls. And, girls can have the similar experiences too, in which they may be rejected by someone who is gay. Who knows, maybe that's a weird and unresolvable cycle...Move on, bro!
Matt, I didn’t hear a word you said, your eyes and that smile, damn, how are you here talking about a lost love when you look like do! Thanks for making my day and I’m sorry about Brandon but you are a beautiful man, keep smiling, damn!
Mat just saw this, wow, just wow, love your brutal honesty, I can relate in so so so many ways, to a T almost, your feelings towards him, wow , I'm dealing with the same thing now, but he's not a bad guy, but I been weening off, then he wants my attention, WTF! Has a girlfriend too. But asks nothing about me. I also am I feel in lust at this point. I really hope your in a better place now bud, I'm trying to get there myself. I know its a life lesson for us, not them. Take care, I wish you the best. What a lovely guy you seem, you deserve much more.
He told me he was bisexuality on tinder but he wanted friends only- when we met he kept talking about how much he liked women and prefer women over men and if he goes for men he'd go for fem boys and I am not fem but I'm young he's much older.... literally the whole meeting was him putting me down and make me feel like shut even tho I liked how he looked and his personality he kept playing games and once acts like he likes me then another time is different
It happens to me all the time, and I became obsessed with it. The bad thing was that, my mind was not working and I had to go to a psychologist. He told me that you have to open up to the possibilities with that person you like, but you should never have any illusions.
I’m going through this now for the second time in my life. I started working with him about two years ago and at first I didn’t like him at all. That quickly changed when I started learning things about him. Then I left the job and I still thought about him from time to time but about six months later I went back to the job and the it was like throwing gas on a stove pilot light. Within a few weeks to a few months I started having butterflies as soon as he would walk through the door we are friends at work. Trying to change that to friends at work and beyond work but I’m probably just doing myself a dis service because it will end bad for me as he has two small kids and a fiancé I get the feeling though that he may have picked up on what’s going on because sometimes he doesn’t give me much attention but when it’s late and we are alone or just a few people left he kind of gives me some unique attention and seems to get amused by my reactions he’s not homophobic. One of his good friends is bi. But it’s truly torture when you feel all of these rushing feelings of love when no one knows what’s going inside of you and you can’t let it out
Recently I have been through the same situation. We were working on a supermarket. I was working full-time he just worked part-time. I feel very hard for him cause I really like his persona , his manners. And same as your case ...he was very kind to me not like the other straight guys. So I thought he was gay. At the end of May , they didn't renew my contract and I felt devastated by not seeing him anymore . So I asked my supervisor his phone number and I started to messaging him . I was very happy, excited....till I realized he was straight. I had to tell him my orientation but he didn't want to end our friendship . If you ask me...I would have loved he didn't want to be my friend, because hearing, talking with him and eventually meeting him feels like s torture for me. Thank you for your vid...I have never had a crush on a guy like him before...but yes, it happens 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Hey Ramiro! I am surprised the supervisor gave you his number. lol. Seriously though, my heart aches hearing this. We get so hopeful and until we hear "..My girlfriend." When you learned about him being straight, did you drop of talking to him?
@@MattMoore83 Oh well I haven't mentioned that the work team at that supermarket section was small . And the supervisor was a young man and he was his friend . Currently, I feel better. I'm not sad anymore. Because I realized that there are hotter guys out there I could meet. I can't deny all the support a close friend gave me with his counselling. So it got better. Answering your question, when o knew he was straight I stopped chatting , but if he started a conversation I keep talking. We are still chatting anyway and I'll meet him this week. A part of me still think that he might be gay ...but if is not the case , I won't hurt. I guess I removed Cupid's arrow from my heart 😅😅. Thank you for asking 😘❤️.
Yup. Had to break free from one a year and a half ago. Really painful experience. Some things that help me are labeling those feelings/chemicals that build up over a guy if I don't know he is gay. I realized labels help identify something and don't allow a veil to shroud it. When it is shrouded, those feelings can get out of hand and puts you in a messy situation. Hearing his story reminds me so much of mine. It's the "hope" aspect that can lead you astray. "He hasn't mentioned girls so there is hope", "He blushes at me so there is hope", "He does xyz for me so there is hope". That "hope" creates this bubble that feeds the fantasy. Labeling it and being realistic/remaining in reality helps you be more mature in your feelings. "I have a crush on him. I see that. I don't know much about him and don't know his sexual orientation. I'm going to put this in the back of my mind for now but I see this." Keeping it in check is the most important. We can't help who we are attracted to. It's okay to have a crush, it happens, but learning to manage it and bursting it when needed is an important skill.
Hey Matt, no one’s beyond or above you. You’re quite simply gorgeous and attractive outside and especially inside. Keep on reaching to us with your posts, it’s great to hear from you.
One thinks that can cope with these kind of situations, with years passing... and it's easier and easier... until it hits you hard. At 45 I met (professionally, at my job) a guy so devastatingly handsome (face, eyes, posture), that I literally couldn't help but stare at him, feeling in my surprise that long forgotten pain. Only my previous experience in suppressing unrequited love saved me back then. I became so good at it that I even managed to forget his face - only a blurry memory remained. Love at first sight - sounds easy, isn't it? - until that moment you will experienced it yourself. The most strange thing happened to me in "in love department" is that once I fell in love with a voice only. Once in the cafe, while I was calmly reading my newspaper (imagine how long ago was that) and drinking my coffee, I heard a youthful voice behind me. I recognised Italian speech, and the voice was so light and melodic, but not feminine ... I stood numb and fell head over heels in love. And I don't even like Italian - I don't mind Italians, but everything around them somehow irritates me. In this case, this obstacle was easily overcome and I never dared to turn around and look at the owner of this voice. I want to say that a person cannot be prepared when a passion strikes him. All he has to do is learn to deal with these hopeless love affairs as quickly as possible.
Good story! I kinda have a situation going on right now, someone who is super nice to me but I don't have a clue what he's into. And he is in every ways over my league. I'll find out sooner or later how this goes.
@@zingapore4007 too bad for you. I'm kinda sure now that my boy is straight also. At least he doesn't seem to be interested in me in that way. We were in a hot tub together at a party and no one made any moves, lol.
@@ukoowkolli4905 yeah. I will get through it. Anyway, you haven't made a move either, right? ^^ do you have any way to check? Like his social profiles, some common friends...
@@zingapore4007 well, later that party he was messagin with someone who had a profile picture of some chick in early 20's. So I'm kinda sure, and at least I'm not that young or female.
I had one, many years ago. He got married, had a couple kids, then died of a heart attack at age 43. He was interesting. Seemed to be everything I was not--athletic, easy-going, popular. I wanted to get to know him better, but was afraid to, in a way.
Same happened to me. He turned out to be gay, but rejected me all the same, he had nice qualities but also some jerk behavior. Sometimes, it felt like he was playing with me, and sometimes if felt like I had a chance. In the end, I felt abused. After the last time I saw him, I spent 5 years thinking about him, but to no avail.
It took me a year to get over it, then I declared myself "healed". What a relieve. And the FB thing too, lol, he looked different, not appealing to me anymore!
Yes and he ask me to marry him but it was too late since i already in a relationship with someone that ask me out first.. I couldn’t just breakup with my current one just because my crush after a long time of me waiting for him finally realize he wants to be in a relationship with me after knowing im not single anymore. This still devastates my heart until now. :(
"The worst thing about being attracted to the same sex, you're never going to get recipocration." Actually, do you know what's worse? When you're head-over-heels infatuated with a gay man, and to quote "Sex and the City," "he's just not that into you"...but he with other guys. That's life!
I have been in the same boat quite a few times. It's actually never good. Branden sounds like a real jerk a real narcissist. You said it right Matt, like most of us gay guys we are in love with the lust. You put that really well. As you say it never eventuates into anything because they are straight. The best thing if you can which doesn't really work either try and be friends but usually that doesn't work either because the lust doesn't usually go away. It's better to put your mind to other things and people then you won't even think about people like Branden which from what you were saying, you would be 100 percent better off. He is a real jerk that only cares about NO1 Branden.
This is especially ROUGH for me because my crush is a co-worker friend. And then he and his wife separated and he moved into the basement of me and my partner. Plus me and this co-worker work out at the gym together. After he moved into our house I revealed my crush on him. He didn't seem to care but did tell me he is straight. But I can tell he admires my muscular build. So then of course my mind wants to keep thinking there's a chance he's a tiny bit bi-curious. We work out together at the gym and he is amazed at my strength and likes to grab my bicep and tell me "You're lookin' good man!" And he has confided in me for dealing with his separation from his wife and other things too. So he does consider me a special friend and we have a good bond. But to distract himself from who he now calls his "ex-wife" he quickly jumped on a couple of dating apps and has been talking to several women. There is one woman in particular that he is moving WAY to fast with. He's only known her for just over a couple weeks and he's already spending weekends at her apartment! He's told me they have been a little intimate but I don't think they've actually had sex. And he's even acknowledged that he's going a bit too fast. But of course being with this girl feels good and she's a distraction from all his other problems. The girl is head over heels for him but he's not sure about her. And I've been warning him that she's gonna get hurt/angry if he keeps spending time with her but then decides that he just wants to be her friend because he's more interested in another woman he's chatting with. And while this is all going on, I'm dealing with my crush on him. So YA.... Straight crushes do suck!!!! I keep mind slapping myself and saying nothing is going to happen. But then sometimes my crush gets the better of me and I think that one of these days he's gonna flash me his d*ck. He does like to tease me and say stuff like "Hey sexy!" when we're at the gym. And I've thought about telling him to stop that because it's like he's mocking my crush on him for his own ego. But then part of me will say "Maybe he does think I'm sexy and maybe I should jokingly say 'Maybe I'm turning you bi-curious but just for me?!?!?'." Ugh, it's such a struggle.
Happened to me.. Ruined a very good friendship. As a normal straight friendship, he was so loving and caring. No problem with public hugging and the love you bro's... Me? Not satisfied - I had to push it. I eventually was served a restraining order. 3 years ago and I'm still hurting.
Have one at work now. I think he’s straight and I feel like a pathetic shit ever since he started working. I just can’t point out why I get heart palpitations whenever I sight him. He’s just a fucking being like every other men I see everyday but yet he’s got some hold on me.
This happened to me too i had a crush on him for like 3 years but he got a girlfriend on the day when i wanted to confess to him i cried for the whole day damn but now we're just my normal friend and i stopped getting attracted to him
I’m in the middle of a crush at work, we get along so well but he’s married and cheating on his wife with another woman 🤣. He tells me all the drama details of his life and I’ll listen to him for hours. Couldn’t be more straight and we don’t have much in common really but he’s such a attractive asshole to me, I wish this crush would go away it sucks.
Am 33 and currently experiencing an extreme pain after being unintentionally falling in love to my friend who happened to be my room mate also. The worst part is, am trying to soooo hard to get rid of the feelings and emotions but it's not going away..it's getting more and more intense each day..and the worst problem is that, he is married with kids..how can i save myself from such pain and also keeping our friendship intact?
Gay men have to learn that Gay men have everything we need. If you're hooked on a straight man, something's wrong in you. You're chasing someone who can't fulfill you. Focus on other Gay men. It's a huge waste of your time and energy to focus on straight men. You deserve mutuality and respect. You're a Gay man. Live it. Be strong. That doesn't include envying straight men. You're worth a lot more than that. One day you'll look back on that and see it as a huge waste of time and you'll wish you could get that time back.
You are 100 per cent right, thing is that the sex box opened last 30 years in such a strong way, that lot of people that were straight in theory,men and women had experience wether young or old with people from the same sex, maybe because of a strong personality over the orientation. I feel more freedom nowadays in the thinking of feeling from new generations.
Its like you just told my story. Am a big guy. Have a crush on another big guy. We became gd friends via sports and being both personable and outgoing persons. He's married.
makes your heart drop when your crush drops the GF thing. But this guy you were taken by sounded like he was not in a good place but also kind of a ass to be honest. Like he had to be better than you and one up you on everything. When you're into someone like that but you see their true colors, that's when the interest for me drops right off and I can't be bothered.
I had that kind of intense crush on a guy named Clark when I was in high school. A few years later in my early 20s, a guy named Brian, same intense thing. I haven't had too many crushes as intense as those.
Awesome Video . I seem to attract So called Straight Guys who are married . That like to flirt sometimes . Are you still back in Virginia ? I Grew up in Roanoke.
Black eyes and white white skin? He's a vampire, dude!
Omg that's me lmao I'm pale skinned and dark brown eyes and black hair I'm a night person too and a scorpio
Racists!!!...😅
Or maybe a zombie
I can tell that you smell like fish😂
I 100% relate to this… literally down to the “girlfriend” drop. I cried so bad that night. So embarrassing. But I know a lot of people go through this. I’m so glad to hear people, especially other gay men, opening up about it.
This dude rambles so much. I can't even follow it. First the guy was so nice and then he's got a bad personality? Blah blah blah
Matt, so true . You definitely deserve a decent human being.
Thank you for your honesty.
Hell, I've had so many crushes on straight guys and it does drive you crazy. One guy that I worked with used to come by my place a lot after work. He was so damn good looking. He came by so often that my crush started getting worse. I knew he was straight but also single. He knew I was single but not about me being gay. But another friend of mine who he slightly got to know assumed he knew I was gay and blurted something out about my previous "boyfriend". It was out. He said nothing and even came back the next day. But then, I had to have that conversation with him. He assured me that it didn't matter. But as he came more and more often, he would ask me questions. Questions about gay sex. That went right to my head. I was happy to answer all the easy questions that he wanted. Then eventually, I asked him if he ever had an experience or thought about it. He said no. But he kept asking me sexual questions and at some point, they became uncomfortable to answer, but I did anyway, to satisfy all of his curiosity. And of course I thought be was hinting that he wanted to try something and I ask. I told him I'd be happy to try sometimes with him. He said mo, no, in a shy way. It was not clear he meant mo, never. His tone always left a hint as if he was really wanting to do this. I would get more excited with each conversation thinking he's going to say yes eventually. He never did though even though I asked multiple times. It never scared him away though which was impressive and curious at the same time. Nothing ever happened and eventually I got another job at a different location and never saw him again. I suppose that since we were no longer working in the same area, but the same company I might add, he didn't think it was OK to visit and never called again. But for some reason, I still to this day think that he really wanted to and it simply scared him somehow. Who knows. But I hated that we stopped having our visits.
If he wanted sex with you, then he was not straight. Straight men do NOT want sex with the same sex.
Trust me buddy, ur crush was feelin' you also.
The unattainable butch masc bad boy. We've ALL crushed on one... at least once
Going through the finishing stages of this rn it’s been 2 years I understand the deep sighs so much. Literally understand so much!!! All we can do is keeping our head up kings 🤞🏾
Man I've been there, I feel your pain! Keep strong! Huge crush on my grade school best friend....until is wedding!
It's happened to me about four times. They're always the most intense crushes. And I'm going through it currently, lol. It's worse when they know you're gay and are either really dense or intentionally try to play with your heart. And it's amazing you can hold out hope against every clear indication when they're nice to you, like you as a person, and give you attention.
I relate to this, my college roommate knows about my sexuality, idk man, I'm trying to get over it 😭
@@roydouglaske1414 move outttt, brother!!
@@roydouglaske1414 What happened???
I had this happen to me in college! He was flirting with me while telling me, “we would never be together.” I gave him my power and told him to fuck himself
Honestly, having a crush on a straight guy seems much less complicated than having a crush on a gay guy who's playing hard to get, which is my situation ATM.
I agree the drama is too much
@@ChaklitTea It's ridiculous. I feel like I'm gaslighting myself because I thought for sure he was ~the one~, but maybe I'm just a delusional idiot and nothing is real.
That time I got a crush on a straight guy who was the first person irl I told I was gay, it was pretty early in our friendship too. Turns out he's a great, kind and supportive guy and nowadays, I'll consider him as one of my best friends.
Years later, I'm still not over that crush, I might even be in love...
That sucks...
Been there. Almost word for word.
This guy is making a video about his staright crush, when he looks like many people's straight crushes
Exactly!
And isn't ironic...don't you think? It's like raaaaay-raaaaain on your wedding day! 😂😂😂 It's a cute guy on the Internet. And who would've thought "it figures"???😂😂😂
That's what I was thinking
This is how dedicated I am to my research and craft.😂
@@ScribblebytesWorldwideExplain how any of those things is “ironic”?
THANKYOU so much for sharing this - I have struggled so much with a crush I’ve had on a guy from my last year of high school (1993), so it’s great hearing someone who has gone through the same thing.
1993 and you're still thinking about him 30 years later? That's rough bruh!
I truly appreciate your honesty and this video hits home. Shit, the truth hurts.
First Matt I’m just so happy to see you again. Looking great man. Don’t overthink that crush....it was pheromones....and pheromones know no sexual orientation. It’s happened to me so often in my life I’ve lost count. Usually the straight guys I fell for were actually ok guys and sometimes I even told them how I felt and it was cool even though it was a game changer. But once (about 6years ago) the same thing happened to me like it did with you and Brandon. The guy was everything. Super fit and good looking, outgoing, intelligent etc. but 1) he was straight and 2) he was totally self-centred. He was fine that I as gay but he played on it.....he flirted and drew me in and used my time and my energy always getting me to do stuff for him (in short, he manipulated me). I was 100% hooked and I’m no dummy. The very thought of him made me weak at the knees and when I was with him, well, let’s just say it was like being under a spell. I thought I was in love with him (maybe I was) but he was a user and self centred and manipulative and I actually knew that all along .... so I think it was mostly pheromones. I know that now (he started seeing a woman but never told me so he could keep me as a soft touch for him as long as it suited him. I found out and he was cocky and cruel about it). Do I feel like a fool? I did but not any more. What I felt was natural....it happens. I came through it. But I’m not sure I’ve let go of my thing about straight guys..... Keep posting when you can Matt. I love it when you drop by (and break my quarantine lockdown blues). ❤️❤️👍🏼
Your story is many gay men's story, including mine. Like Matt says, we are drunk on lust. And that's nothing to be apologetic for cos its totally natural. Its both bitter and sweet for us that our crushes take advantage of our pheromonal weakness. And cruel and crude on their part. But how else could we have gotten near them :)
Nice to see you again. Unfortunately, most of us have been in that position. I had a heartbreaking crush on my straight best friend, in college. When he realized what was going on he stopped hanging around me and transferred to a different college. Thanks to mutual friends, we reconnected and are now friends again. Everything works out the way it's supposed to, if they are meant to be in your life.🏳️🌈
Yup, so well known as a process and situation ... maybe some of the meanness from his side was because he was attracted to you. Good take away is that you do have a heart and can relate emotionally, maybe Mr. B. was not able to emote. Great to see you again here.
Hi. Welcome. You were obsessed. Most of the time i feel something strong and end up feeling some source of depression. I know that feeling. But you know what? We are feeling this way cause we are alive. Very good story telling. Thank you Matt for cheering that.
Needed to hear this. Definitely put some things into perspective for me. Currently trying to get over a crush and like word for word I can relate to your experience. Sorry you had to go through that. Trying to refocus my feelings somewhere else, but its really tough sometimes. I think Im almost there though.
My crush lasted 4 years. We met one winter and ended up living together after 6 months of knowing one another. Everyone at work were convinced we were a couple...even his mom, brother and grandmother thought we were a couple. We lived together, worked together, traveled together and spent holidays together with his family. When I decided to move out of state, he was planning to move with me, and the “kick in the chest” was when he said, “once we move, we can find girlfriends!” I moved and left him behind...
oof
what did he do or say after you told him you were going alone?
@@MrR1ncehe became very distant, and we talked about it, I agreed to let him keep everything I bought for the house, and even let him keep what was left in our joint account. I just walked away from everything. We talked every day after I left for a few weeks, until he said, “If I was gay, I would date you!” Which told me, he knew he was leading me on…then he asked if he could borrow a large some of money…and I blocked him and moved forward in my life.
@@symin1980 I'm so so sorry. I hope you are in a better place now.
@@MrR1nce Thank you for your concern. It was a learning process, but it really made me a better person. It made me realize how incredible I was, and it reinforced my confidence, ensuring that it never happened again. One of the biggest lessons learned was clear communication is vital to any relationship, whether friends, romance even business.
Going through this thing and it’s definitely heartbreaking.
I have done this too Matt! it tough but as you say there wasn't really much to him besides his looks. Glad to see you back again. xoxo
Great video.
I love your clarity of thought.
Certainly it was a growth experience.
Crushes are incredibly intense…both joyful and destructive.
Great video, I enjoyed hearing this story in more detail.
Handsome
Thanks for this video just what I needed! I always fall for straight guys and it's hard.
I like your personality, love from Sweden! 😊
Great story. My favorite part was the competitive argument haha. I've had this kind of hard crush on a straight guy and it lasted for years my goodness. Torture.
Hey Matt, good to see you stranger...you look well. I was 20 and my friend Ed was 18, and we worked together in the catalog warehouse dept at the local Sears store. We had to unload a truck each day, and we developed this working relationship where we did things in sync. We made a good team. Me, being 6’1” and he 5’11” we both weighed about 190. People teased us that we played around like brothers? One day we were wrestling in the warehouse, we both were tired and acting silly chasing each other around all the boxes. Well we started to climb these boxes that were really high up, little did we know they had bedding and pillows. They couldn’t hold our weight , so we fell in, we landed on top of each other, and for what seemed like a long time while we were laughing our faces were like inches apart.
We froze with that look only dudes can give. Not sure what would have happened, if one of the girls from the counter hadn’t called us?? We didn’t talk about it, but we still had fun. We worked together for a little over a year. Man, I think I really could have loved him. He had all the best qualities a guy could have. Funny, laughed a lot, kind, a guys guy? We lost contact, but I have never had those feelings for any one else? Oh man, he even had this motorcycle he was so proud of..we would take our break and ride to the local 7/11 to get junk. I’d sit in the back and he would actually pop a wheelie causing me to grab him around the waist. I was so close to falling but I secretly loved when he did it. Ah, his soft little belly, and he always smelled like clean soap. No pretty boy here! Be well and stay safe. Alex from LA
Hi Alex. Sounds like you remember Ed like it was yesterday. Some people leave a mark on your heart. Could he have known what was in those boxes? Whose idea was it to climb them? Either way, you don't seem to have any regrets as such. And fond memories are still fond memories.
Would make a great movie scene...
Sick
I have a bit a crush on you, but I would imagine almost all of your followers here on TH-cam do also
I didn't ask to be called out like this.
@@aaronw7602 😂 same tho
Take a number lol
U are correct lol
I love his rugged look.
Hi Stranger- Great to see you post! Totally relate to the storytelling-
Wow, this video is great. My #1 crush is also straight. Met him at work and I've known him for 15 years. He's happily married with two kids. He knows how much I love him. He's a great guy too. Extremely handsome, masculine, and kind too. He's a quiet kind of soul. Strong and stoic. He accepts my love and doesn't push me away. I see him every once in a while. The last time we got together for lunch. He will always be straight. I can't nor do I want to change him. He's perfect as he is. Though my heart will always yearn for him, if you really love someone, you have to love them enough to walk away.
You are back!!!!’ I missed you
Thank you for that. I needed to hear it.
Letting you know that your videos have helped improve my communication while on dates. A lot more conversation driven, more intellectual and engaged. Still love the sex, but more mature and mutual. This helps to weed out the sex-driven types. Thanks very much, Matt. If ever you are in Hawaii, would love to meet and chat.
God bless u Matt I feel u brother I'm going through the same atm its making me self conscious... but hopefully I'll distance myself before it gets ugly
the last couple of guys I crushed on, on some level I knew were straight, because 1)they had a girlfriend 2)others told me they were straight 3) obviously talking about 'she's smoking hot' etc, etc type comments. A lot of my crushes have been at work. And what's so surprising about that? We're surrounded by a plethora of straight men we have to work with every day. It's inevitable. Especially in close confined workspaces, like the service industry. Most of them there was uncertainty if they were straight + certain behaviors that I believed (or you could say read into) that they were attracted to me, flirting with me, etc. Eye contact is usually a huge thing, which initially gets me going. As does getting a 'sense' or a 'vibe'
I felt I've been "eye fucked" before, some guys stand really close to me or get in my space, they've made similar flirtacious comments like "best thing in my mouth all day"...and I totally think that seems flirtacious.
There was one guy I worked with at my last job that I had no freaking clue was gay. I found out because months later, I randomly stumbled upon his facebook profile and quickly stalked him and saw he was married to a MAN! And when I worked with him, I had NO SENSE, NO VIBE, NOTHING that he was gay, (or say, even, attracted to me) . He seemed pretty masculine and to use the improper-worded, "straight acting". It's guys like this that also feed into fantasies about a guy possibly being gay DESPITE seeming otherwise (on the surface at least, one he says GF or talks Girls, that's a red flag).
I've had a hard time letting go of the last crush I had. The crush actually ended moreso in 2016, but I've thought about him pretty consistently since then. It doesn't help holding onto a fantasy, but life just hasn't given me another person to get my mind and heart off him. I truly loved him though, and when he left my life (he stopped working at my job, then he started avoiding me) I was hurting so bad from missing him, and also confused and filled with anxiety. He eventually blocked me on facebook after I wrote him a heart-felt letter. He even told me to stop contacting him and to F off. Although he had told me long before 'he was definitely straight', I think what I wanted or need to hear him say it again to get the message across. Because part of me, since then, off and on, has occassionally hoped or thought he somehow still could be, or could be bi, or feeding into those "gay men having sex with straight guy" fantasies, that somehow, maybe he'd go for me once, even though he's straight.
There's a lot that feed into fantasies. What doesn't help is real life feeling empty and like nothing is happening, so I turn back to fantasies. I've let go of my last intense crush several times, only for me to go back to him. I'll get my mind off him, then I'm focusing on meeting new guys IRL, and then it doesn't work out, and then bam. Back to him. It's not a good road to be on, and I don't know why life won't give me the golden ticket I seek. It's not like I'm wanting to be this way, am i? It's not like I'm wanting to be a single, sexless, love-less, gay man in his 30s? The fantasies don't work, but my own real life isn't working right either. It's difficult, but crushing on a straight guy, shocking to believe, would almost feel better than nothing, because at least I'd be feeling something, feeling some kind of lovey feelings, would be turned on, etc.
Ooof that's a tough one. I recommend you pick up a copy of my book: The "Charlie" Manner by PN Mathenjwa!
I think all this rushing stuff really just comes down to chemicals in your body. It's like when you take MDMA you feel like you're in love with everybody but when it wears off you go back to normal. Well...according to new research, falling in love with someone is more addictive than heroin. The only problem is, unlike heroin, you can't control what happens when someone just walks into a room and they happen to look like the man of your dreams. It would be like if you're walking down the street minding your business and someone jumps out the alley way and injects you with heroin. Of course you're gonna a go a little bit crazy. It's not your fault though, shiet happens. And there's no methodone for it. The best you can do is distract yourself long enough for it to fade. And to realise that it is just biochemical and you can eat some chocolate to balance it out. It also helps to start dating someone else.
I hope you read my message, I just came across your video. I've been crying for the last 3 hours, the love of my life said no and he's gay... I watched so many videos trying to find closure and Hope. Your story, your words, have provided a Beacon of Hope to heal..Thank you
How are you now?
Hey, glad to see you back again
Pretty much the same.
I also got a crush towards a straight guy. He was my classmate and roommate. We spent all threes years of high school together. He’s a good looking guy, also very smart. But what really attracts me is he is very gentle and patient to everyone. We had a really good time together until he had a girlfriend in the last year. However, they broke up when he went to college.
I didn’t come out to him. And I never asked him would you like to date with me, too. ‘cause I don’t want to get our relationship in trouble under the circumstances I don’t know whether he’s cool about I’m gay.
We are still friends now, and still talks with each other. But I think he has known I like him. We are not that close like before.
I can relate. When I had a crush on a straight guy he turned out to be very mean and would harass me to the point he would block me on social media. This guy I have known since high school name Matt was trying to trick me to admitting to want to see him naked when I just wanted to be friends. He was very religious and he often times call me out to say stop bothering him. It left me extremely stressed out and devastated me mentally and emotionally. It is hard to get over crushes which is why I'm trying to find love from a guy that would love me back. Straights are hard to resist and let go until it gets to a point where someone gets hurt. I feel you and others who have experienced this should find happiness without them.
Yup. Same happened to me.
omg... same.. he offered me a special photo for money and insisted strongly, describing every inch of his whole body that would be in the frame, while after-shower drops would go down his abs. to be completely honest, it was difficult (I have a crush on him), but I said "no. I don't want to do it with a straight guy." he claimed that it'd been just a test and that he'd done it just to find out if I wanted to see his willy.
Okay but why would he be the one blocking you if he was the one harassing you on social media? XD
(I guess you blocked him but mistyped)
I believe I'm bi and i had a crush on a guy. But it was the first time i genuinely felt something. I was thinking about him, stalking him on anyy social media, reading his articles blah blah.. even shared somethings only to catch his attention.. Recently i realized that it is not healthy anymore and i decided to directly ask what he is into.. Although he was sending mixed massages, he was straight and that was the end.. kinda relieved and sad at the same time
Exactly. All you can do is just ask. Even Oliver Twist just asked a simple question.
That was a great story! As I kept hearing you it bought back a lot of memories of my other crushes.
I had that similar experience too! Though it was with a gay guy, only thing that was different is he was with someone else and he led me on. He hid his relationship, like he never wanted anyone to be a part of anything to do with him.
It's hard when you develop feelings for someone only for them to turn out to be something completely different. I think in your case, it sounded like he wasn't taking care of his mental health at all, but it turned out for the better because you do deserve someone who can reciprocate the same.
But bruh, the drunk for lust is real! Lol
Crush on a straight guy? Twice in my life - once in the service; and once just after. Couldn't be close enough for long enough to either guy to suit my longing. Both were good people. Both may have guessed about then closeted me...neither one brought it up for discussion. I was always too fearful of rejection to push it. Wish I had a time machine! Subscribed.
In some ways, not knowing for sure is worse. You might be able to cling to hope, but that's all it gives you. You could meet someone who turns your head again, normally when you least expect it. The question now is, if it happened again, have you learned from what the last past taught you? To at least ask him, even if it did cost you?
@@bootstraphookers8690 I think whatever is going to happen will happen. If it doesn't happen it was never going to happen. If it hasn't happened and you think it might happen, it's very grounding to just bathe in the not-having-happenedness of the present moment. For example, let's say your crush reveals they like you and now you start dating. Okay..then what? Are you willing to re-arrange your life and goals for each other. Are you willing to quit school so you can work 2 jobs to pay a mortgage together? Etc. Thinking about how your lives would actually be together, is a very grounding experience that keeps you in the present moment and makes you grateful that you're not actually dating the dude.
I’ve had a crush on a “straight” guy for over 40 years…met my freshman year in college. He was kind, smart, humorous…😊 I still think about his kindness towards me to this day. Love is love.
THANKS FOR SHARING THIS
Thanks for your honesty, love your experience and attitude. Great post
I'm going through a lesbian version of what you described. Someone told me she was straight and I fantasize about her being bi. That's a very dangerous place to go I have to face reality. I feel how painful it was. I understand you made this video four years ago, but I just watched it because I am searching videos about how to deal with crushes on straight people. Thank you for your experience. I also get it about people's unusual looks. That usually happens to me too. She's not your ordinary woman with the characteristics and features I usually see in a given race. It goes to show how beautiful we all are no matter what race we are. But I get it about the romantic piece.
I don't believe you wanted to be victimized. I think I was attracted to my my person because she drew me to her somehow with her drama and emotional stuff. She was going through a lot of stuff too and the people in charge want to call a conference so we can process our stuff but I've got a feeling it's not going to come out very well it might be very similar to your encounter with your person by the car. Your feelings are beautiful and nothing to be ashamed of. It's just that he doesn't love you back and I think divine intervention did indeed take place because I suspect that if he had reciprocated and there had been a relationship, there might have been other problems. Many blessings. Turquoise
I have a crush on my best friend. 6 months into it and now I'm sure that I'm in love with him. He knows it and says that I'll get over him but i just can't seem to let go. He is a great guy btw...
I had crush on a straight guy when I was in high school. I know exactly how we would feel when we do this. However, straight guys can also be rejected by girls. And, girls can have the similar experiences too, in which they may be rejected by someone who is gay. Who knows, maybe that's a weird and unresolvable cycle...Move on, bro!
Matt, I didn’t hear a word you said, your eyes and that smile, damn, how are you here talking about a lost love when you look like do! Thanks for making my day and I’m sorry about Brandon but you are a beautiful man, keep smiling, damn!
Mat just saw this, wow, just wow, love your brutal honesty, I can relate in so so so many ways, to a T almost, your feelings towards him, wow , I'm dealing with the same thing now, but he's not a bad guy, but I been weening off, then he wants my attention, WTF! Has a girlfriend too. But asks nothing about me. I also am I feel in lust at this point. I really hope your in a better place now bud, I'm trying to get there myself. I know its a life lesson for us, not them. Take care, I wish you the best. What a lovely guy you seem, you deserve much more.
Bonsoir from Paris Matt... Here you are back again... Well welcome back guy
He told me he was bisexuality on tinder but he wanted friends only- when we met he kept talking about how much he liked women and prefer women over men and if he goes for men he'd go for fem boys and I am not fem but I'm young he's much older.... literally the whole meeting was him putting me down and make me feel like shut even tho I liked how he looked and his personality he kept playing games and once acts like he likes me then another time is different
@@V_kim1996 I'm bi and I don't think that's true at all.
Who tf goes on tinder to get friends lool
It happens to me all the time, and I became obsessed with it.
The bad thing was that, my mind was not working and I had to go to a psychologist. He told me that you have to open up to the possibilities with that person you like, but you should never have any illusions.
When i was younger i only liked hetero guys, but now i like every men xD
Big Mood lol
Bonsoir from Paris
You'd have a better chance getting a gay or bi guy, lol.
I’m going through this now for the second time in my life. I started working with him about two years ago and at first I didn’t like him at all. That quickly changed when I started learning things about him. Then I left the job and I still thought about him from time to time but about six months later I went back to the job and the it was like throwing gas on a stove pilot light. Within a few weeks to a few months I started having butterflies as soon as he would walk through the door we are friends at work. Trying to change that to friends at work and beyond work but I’m probably just doing myself a dis service because it will end bad for me as he has two small kids and a fiancé I get the feeling though that he may have picked up on what’s going on because sometimes he doesn’t give me much attention but when it’s late and we are alone or just a few people left he kind of gives me some unique attention and seems to get amused by my reactions he’s not homophobic. One of his good friends is bi. But it’s truly torture when you feel all of these rushing feelings of love when no one knows what’s going inside of you and you can’t let it out
Recently I have been through the same situation.
We were working on a supermarket.
I was working full-time he just worked part-time.
I feel very hard for him cause I really like his persona , his manners. And same as your case ...he was very kind to me not like the other straight guys. So I thought he was gay.
At the end of May , they didn't renew my contract and I felt devastated by not seeing him anymore . So I asked my supervisor his phone number and I started to messaging him .
I was very happy, excited....till I realized he was straight. I had to tell him my orientation but he didn't want to end our friendship . If you ask me...I would have loved he didn't want to be my friend, because hearing, talking with him and eventually meeting him feels like s torture for me.
Thank you for your vid...I have never had a crush on a guy like him before...but yes, it happens 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
Hey Ramiro! I am surprised the supervisor gave you his number. lol. Seriously though, my heart aches hearing this. We get so hopeful and until we hear "..My girlfriend." When you learned about him being straight, did you drop of talking to him?
@@MattMoore83 Oh well I haven't mentioned that the work team at that supermarket section was small . And the supervisor was a young man and he was his friend .
Currently, I feel better. I'm not sad anymore. Because I realized that there are hotter guys out there I could meet. I can't deny all the support a close friend gave me with his counselling.
So it got better.
Answering your question, when o knew he was straight I stopped chatting , but if he started a conversation I keep talking. We are still chatting anyway and I'll meet him this week. A part of me still think that he might be gay ...but if is not the case , I won't hurt. I guess I removed Cupid's arrow from my heart 😅😅.
Thank you for asking 😘❤️.
Hey gorgeous! I’m glad to see you!
Take it from a fellow gay man... it's called "limerence". I think a lot of us are hard-wired for it.
Yup. Had to break free from one a year and a half ago. Really painful experience. Some things that help me are labeling those feelings/chemicals that build up over a guy if I don't know he is gay. I realized labels help identify something and don't allow a veil to shroud it. When it is shrouded, those feelings can get out of hand and puts you in a messy situation. Hearing his story reminds me so much of mine. It's the "hope" aspect that can lead you astray. "He hasn't mentioned girls so there is hope", "He blushes at me so there is hope", "He does xyz for me so there is hope". That "hope" creates this bubble that feeds the fantasy. Labeling it and being realistic/remaining in reality helps you be more mature in your feelings. "I have a crush on him. I see that. I don't know much about him and don't know his sexual orientation. I'm going to put this in the back of my mind for now but I see this." Keeping it in check is the most important. We can't help who we are attracted to. It's okay to have a crush, it happens, but learning to manage it and bursting it when needed is an important skill.
Hey Matt, no one’s beyond or above you. You’re quite simply gorgeous and attractive outside and especially inside. Keep on reaching to us with your posts, it’s great to hear from you.
One thinks that can cope with these kind of situations, with years passing... and it's easier and easier... until it hits you hard.
At 45 I met (professionally, at my job) a guy so devastatingly handsome (face, eyes, posture), that I literally couldn't help but stare at him, feeling in my surprise that long forgotten pain. Only my previous experience in suppressing unrequited love saved me back then. I became so good at it that I even managed to forget his face - only a blurry memory remained.
Love at first sight - sounds easy, isn't it? - until that moment you will experienced it yourself.
The most strange thing happened to me in "in love department" is that once I fell in love with a voice only.
Once in the cafe, while I was calmly reading my newspaper (imagine how long ago was that) and drinking my coffee, I heard a youthful voice behind me. I recognised Italian speech, and the voice was so light and melodic, but not feminine ... I stood numb and fell head over heels in love. And I don't even like Italian - I don't mind Italians, but everything around them somehow irritates me. In this case, this obstacle was easily overcome and I never dared to turn around and look at the owner of this voice.
I want to say that a person cannot be prepared when a passion strikes him. All he has to do is learn to deal with these hopeless love affairs as quickly as possible.
That sounds a bit like what my psychic told me!
i'm going through this rn as i'm falling deep for my best friend. worst feeling in the world
you're back!
You have an AWESOME smile and a great accent. :-)
Good story! I kinda have a situation going on right now, someone who is super nice to me but I don't have a clue what he's into. And he is in every ways over my league. I'll find out sooner or later how this goes.
Same thing is happening to me but I recently discovered he is straight. Man, the sadness!
Hope you're doing well now!
@@zingapore4007 too bad for you. I'm kinda sure now that my boy is straight also. At least he doesn't seem to be interested in me in that way. We were in a hot tub together at a party and no one made any moves, lol.
@@ukoowkolli4905 yeah. I will get through it.
Anyway, you haven't made a move either, right? ^^ do you have any way to check? Like his social profiles, some common friends...
@@zingapore4007 well, later that party he was messagin with someone who had a profile picture of some chick in early 20's. So I'm kinda sure, and at least I'm not that young or female.
@@ukoowkolli4905 ooh ok. We just need to move on, I guess
1:14 - You're an EXTREMELY good looking guy. Don't ever doubt that. Any guy would be fortunate to have you in his life.
Don't think you ever have to worry about some guy being better looking than you. You are extremely attractive both inside and out!
I had one, many years ago. He got married, had a couple kids, then died of a heart attack at age 43. He was interesting. Seemed to be everything I was not--athletic, easy-going, popular. I wanted to get to know him better, but was afraid to, in a way.
Same happened to me. He turned out to be gay, but rejected me all the same, he had nice qualities but also some jerk behavior. Sometimes, it felt like he was playing with me, and sometimes if felt like I had a chance. In the end, I felt abused. After the last time I saw him, I spent 5 years thinking about him, but to no avail.
Five years??? Lol damn that’s a long ass time must have been torment especially seeing him on social media and not being in his life
Wow. Great life story. Made me reflect a lot about the straight crushes I've had
You’re definitely not alone."…I’ve had numerous “bromances”. BUT I would never risk something negative.
There’s a series on Netflix called TRIAL BY MEDIA about the Jenny Jones murder case. Did you know about it?? What were your thoughts when it happened?
It took me a year to get over it, then I declared myself "healed". What a relieve. And the FB thing too, lol, he looked different, not appealing to me anymore!
Yes and he ask me to marry him but it was too late since i already in a relationship with someone that ask me out first.. I couldn’t just breakup with my current one just because my crush after a long time of me waiting for him finally realize he wants to be in a relationship with me after knowing im not single anymore. This still devastates my heart until now. :(
Please make a video about that. It's such an unusual turn of events!
Trust me it’s really painful
"The worst thing about being attracted to the same sex, you're never going to get recipocration." Actually, do you know what's worse? When you're head-over-heels infatuated with a gay man, and to quote "Sex and the City," "he's just not that into you"...but he with other guys. That's life!
I have been in the same boat quite a few times. It's actually never good. Branden sounds like a real jerk a real narcissist. You said it right Matt, like most of us gay guys we are in love with the lust. You put that really well. As you say it never eventuates into anything because they are straight. The best thing if you can which doesn't really work either try and be friends but usually that doesn't work either because the lust doesn't usually go away. It's better to put your mind to other things and people then you won't even think about people like Branden which from what you were saying, you would be 100 percent better off. He is a real jerk that only cares about NO1 Branden.
I can relate to your story 1000%!
Papa! Love you
This is especially ROUGH for me because my crush is a co-worker friend. And then he and his wife separated and he moved into the basement of me and my partner. Plus me and this co-worker work out at the gym together. After he moved into our house I revealed my crush on him. He didn't seem to care but did tell me he is straight. But I can tell he admires my muscular build. So then of course my mind wants to keep thinking there's a chance he's a tiny bit bi-curious. We work out together at the gym and he is amazed at my strength and likes to grab my bicep and tell me "You're lookin' good man!" And he has confided in me for dealing with his separation from his wife and other things too. So he does consider me a special friend and we have a good bond. But to distract himself from who he now calls his "ex-wife" he quickly jumped on a couple of dating apps and has been talking to several women. There is one woman in particular that he is moving WAY to fast with. He's only known her for just over a couple weeks and he's already spending weekends at her apartment! He's told me they have been a little intimate but I don't think they've actually had sex. And he's even acknowledged that he's going a bit too fast. But of course being with this girl feels good and she's a distraction from all his other problems. The girl is head over heels for him but he's not sure about her. And I've been warning him that she's gonna get hurt/angry if he keeps spending time with her but then decides that he just wants to be her friend because he's more interested in another woman he's chatting with. And while this is all going on, I'm dealing with my crush on him. So YA.... Straight crushes do suck!!!! I keep mind slapping myself and saying nothing is going to happen. But then sometimes my crush gets the better of me and I think that one of these days he's gonna flash me his d*ck. He does like to tease me and say stuff like "Hey sexy!" when we're at the gym. And I've thought about telling him to stop that because it's like he's mocking my crush on him for his own ego. But then part of me will say "Maybe he does think I'm sexy and maybe I should jokingly say 'Maybe I'm turning you bi-curious but just for me?!?!?'." Ugh, it's such a struggle.
Happened to me.. Ruined a very good friendship. As a normal straight friendship, he was so loving and caring. No problem with public hugging and the love you bro's... Me? Not satisfied - I had to push it.
I eventually was served a restraining order. 3 years ago and I'm still hurting.
Lmfao you sound like such a creep what the hell did you try to do him
Thank you for sharing that. 👍💪
Oh my god 7:10 exactly... I completely feel you man. Phewwwwwww i felt that
Hello Matt, Thank you . I am going threw this right now. and no you don't talk too much. I freakin love you.
\
Have one at work now. I think he’s straight and I feel like a pathetic shit ever since he started working. I just can’t point out why I get heart palpitations whenever I sight him. He’s just a fucking being like every other men I see everyday but yet he’s got some hold on me.
no stalky stalky, that's bad for you Mkay!. STOP IT!
This happened to me too i had a crush on him for like 3 years but he got a girlfriend on the day when i wanted to confess to him i cried for the whole day damn but now we're just my normal friend and i stopped getting attracted to him
It was a sign.
I’m in the middle of a crush at work, we get along so well but he’s married and cheating on his wife with another woman 🤣. He tells me all the drama details of his life and I’ll listen to him for hours. Couldn’t be more straight and we don’t have much in common really but he’s such a attractive asshole to me, I wish this crush would go away it sucks.
Its cool how the first second of the video is the thumbnail
Am 33 and currently experiencing an extreme pain after being unintentionally falling in love to my friend who happened to be my room mate also. The worst part is, am trying to soooo hard to get rid of the feelings and emotions but it's not going away..it's getting more and more intense each day..and the worst problem is that, he is married with kids..how can i save myself from such pain and also keeping our friendship intact?
That's me now mate one wants to drive into a tree at 100 mph .
Dont
lowkey he sounded jealous of u
I am going through the same thing and always looking for a clue that he has the same feelings as me... My mind and heart are not in sync!
such a nice smile !
Gay men have to learn that Gay men have everything we need. If you're hooked on a straight man, something's wrong in you. You're chasing someone who can't fulfill you. Focus on other Gay men. It's a huge waste of your time and energy to focus on straight men. You deserve mutuality and respect. You're a Gay man. Live it. Be strong. That doesn't include envying straight men. You're worth a lot more than that. One day you'll look back on that and see it as a huge waste of time and you'll wish you could get that time back.
You are 100 per cent right, thing is that the sex box opened last 30 years in such a strong way, that lot of people that were straight in theory,men and women had experience wether young or old with people from the same sex, maybe because of a strong personality over the orientation. I feel more freedom nowadays in the thinking of feeling from new generations.
Hey, Matt.
Its like you just told my story. Am a big guy. Have a crush on another big guy. We became gd friends via sports and being both personable and outgoing persons. He's married.
makes your heart drop when your crush drops the GF thing. But this guy you were taken by sounded like he was not in a good place but also kind of a ass to be honest. Like he had to be better than you and one up you on everything. When you're into someone like that but you see their true colors, that's when the interest for me drops right off and I can't be bothered.
You can spend a life time in love with a straight guy.
I had that kind of intense crush on a guy named Clark when I was in high school. A few years later in my early 20s, a guy named Brian, same intense thing. I haven't had too many crushes as intense as those.
Awesome Video .
I seem to attract So called Straight Guys who are married .
That like to flirt sometimes . Are you still back in Virginia ?
I Grew up in Roanoke.
We were surrounded by them: straight guy. it happens to me often.