Thanks for watching everyone! We have appreciated all the support from you all this past year. Friendly reminder: we are not looking for advice, just a simple update. We are at peace with our decision to stop fertility treatments. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! ❤
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you both. How courageous to even share with us. This is YOUR story and nobody else’s story. My heart goes out to you guys in wherever journey of life takes you. I truly feel that nobody understands the fertility experience unless you have walked in those shoes. Hugs to you both!! ❤🤗 You are both so special and deserve life’s blessings!
Thanks for sharing your update. My heart goes out to you both. 💔 Your journey sounds traumatic and draining, and I don't blame you for taking a break to re-evaluate. No advice at all. Just prayers for continued peace through this season. 🙏🏻🤍
My husband and I have been together for 13 years. (We got married when I was 23, he was 27) we struggled with getting pregnant our entire marriage, and always chalked it up to me having pcos and irregular cycles, often times not ovulating. We’ve spoken with fertility specialists twice, and both times I chickened out because of the emotional investment and all the costs involved. I had a fibroid and a polyp removed in 2021 and we had a chemical pregnancy 2 months later. After all this time together, we both pretty much got into this mindset of, “if it’s going to happen, it will happen, and if it doesn’t, we will be ok” and we just stopped preventing and just let life happen Much to our surprise it’s the end of 2023 and we are 17 weeks pregnant with our son. (I’m 36 now, he’s 40) Hoping and praying for you guys.
Congratulations!! I'm glad that you shared your story because it is encouraging. I'm 32 now, and I'm not married, and most people keep telling me that if I got kids earlier in my 20s, I'd conceive faster than if I have kids in my 30s. But, I realise some people struggle to get pregnant no matter the age.
My friend and her husband had fertility issues for years and chose to adopt a baby boy. When he was four months old they found out they were expecting …twins. So fast forward a few months and they went from childless, to a boy and twin girls all right around a year old. So rest up! You never know what the future holds! 🙂
Oh my goodness, what an amazing blessing! Talk about a house full of the pitter patter of little feet!!!! I can’t send enough well wishes and congratulations to your friends. I am SO happy for them 😊💖💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖
Wishing you guys all the best in your fertility journey. Have you looked into introducing some new foods in your diet? Like Yams, okra, folic acid and Zinc rich foods. Also, chinese medicine was helpful... They really do help , speaking as one endo sufferer with little chance of natural pregnancy. who had 2 full term births ...
My husband and l tried for 13 years naturally. We were told we would never be able to have a child. But my husband said if it's God's will it will happen. And when we resigned ourselves. We got pregnant with twin girls. I was 35 and my husband was 36 . Hang in there miracle do happen. Praying for you.❤
I TRULY PRAY 🙏 BOTH U N COLE WILL ACHEIVE UR DREAMS TO COME TRU TO HAVING A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY EXPANDED🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞💙♥️U 2PPL R CLEARLY AMAZING N VERY POSITIVE N SOO BEAUTIFUL 😍 I ADMIRE UR CHEEFULNESS N BEING SOO DARN POSITIVE 👍🙏♥️💙DONT GIVE UP GOOD LUCK 🍀 I PROMISE GUYS IT WILL HAPPEN…….UR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE N WILL BE ANSWERED IN DUE TIME FOR SURE 👍🤞💙♥️🥰😇🙏
Let’s not turn to horribly flawed superstition as an explanation for why some people are able to conceive while others can’t - it’s a truly harmful practice
As an adoptee, thank you for recognizing that adoption is not the consolation prize with infertility. We are not back up plans. We are human beings. My adoptive moth3 should have never been a mom. Ever. But she had money, so an adoption agency gave her two babies. Adoption is born in trauma, it CAN be a beautiful thing, but it is the beauty made from ashes. And parents need to understand they are going into a very different journey than getting pregnant. Both can be amazing and beautiful - but they are two separate journeys.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! We have heard this from so many adoptees. So sorry to hear what you’ve gone through. My heart goes out to you ❤
@@coleandcharisma Thank you. I did have a great adoptive dad, though. He made growing up bearable. Now I’m grown, with my own infertility/ rainbow baby going on 16. I completely get why you need to take a break. Infertility treatments are exhausting on ALL levels.
You stated this perfectly! A of people (birth and adoptive) don't become parents with their human child in mind. It's extremely selfish but most adults are ran by their inner child; they can't see let alone understand other people let alone children.
I remember when I was trying to get pregnant. It was such a tough road. Many years and heartache later, I discovered I had autoimmune disease and my body was treating my babies like an invader. I got treatment and finally carried my son all the way through term. I just wanted to encourage you and let you know that I’m praying for you to have your hearts desire. ❤
I have Antiphospholipid syndrome. The condition caused me to suffer multiple early miscarriages. I have no symptoms of it outside of pregnancy. After I was diagnosed my doctor treated me for it during my pregnancy. The treatment enabled me to have two full term pregnancies which blessed me with my two sons.
It's true, one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my adult life is whenever someone tells you to JUST do something, that person has NO idea what they're talking about!
"Adoption shouldn't be a solution to infertility" such a powerful statement. Thank you for saying that! Sending love and positive vibes throughout your journey becoming parents
Yes, adoption should be an option that people actually want, instead of it being a last resort. I'm personally someone who could have had biological kids if I wanted to, but I would emotionally much rather have a child that already exists in the world and needs a home and a parent to love them.
@@Abril-1234Because people want their own kids that are genetically theirs. It’s primal. It’s not normal to raise other peoples kids It’s hilarious that that is such a complicated thing for people to understand.
We probably tried for a year naturally, before we became pregnant. It was a tough year because all my siblings were either giving birth or announcing their pregnancy. That was actually very hard for me. When our baby was finally born, he was our world. Six weeks later, our world was shattered...he was diagnosed with a rare medical condition, called neurofibromatosis. On an intelligence test, our boy was in the 95th percentile. He was one of a kind. My one sister said that he responded differently than other children to discipline so as a mother, I should not consider myself on the same page as other mothers trying to figure out discipline issues. He proudly finished school with not one discipline issue against his name. His other aunt said, he just got on with life regardless of the hardships that neurofibromatosis brought his way...taking on one challenge after the other...never giving up. That was his motto...it was in the form of a fridge magnet. Twenty years later, about a month before his 21st birthday, our Heavenly Father called him home after a short battle with cancer. A day before his passing, he determinedly still tried to do things that were almost impossible for him to do. When I encouraged him to take my help, he said that he didn't come this far to give up now. Always being the one who would keep everyone on the straight and narrow path, his cousin said at his memorial service that he had wisdom beyond his years. When we were all coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis, he said that his cancer was actually a blessing in disguise. If God would decide not to heal him, he would have time to prepare himself for eternity. He fought with so much faith, courage and hope. His concerns were always for the family, especially his grandparents when he received bad news...even being concerned for the oncologist who had to deliver such bad news to him. I follow your story, because so much reminds me of my boy...like him, YOU INSPIRE! I was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer early this year. 2023 Has not been a good year. My boy had such peace in his eyes just before he shut his eyes for the last time. Since that moment, I experienced that peace that the world just cannot give...and it's carrying me through now. Peace, is my wish to you in this time of grief. Peace changes everything! 💙💚💙💚 Stefan's Mama, 4ever21.
May the peace of God which surpasses all human understanding continue to carry you through even in the testing time your again facing. May you never cast your eyes and spirit away from the cross.
So sorry for everything that you are going through. I pray for you and anyone going through any form of medical conditions. My daughter also has neurofibromatosis type I. Some days are better than others. Sending luv from Texas. 💙 💚
@@nantezaesther3766 thank you so much for the encouragement...staying at the cross is my prayer too. It was at the cross that I found spiritual lessons and blessings in my pain that I could never have imagined. My good and faithful Father did not waste my sorrow.
@@mimirw8031 ahhh dearest Parent...when we entered the uncertain world of neurofibromatosis, what probably was the hardest, was not knowing what to expect from this condition. It was this uncertainty that kept me on my knees. If you would like to connect, let me know. 💙💚💙💚
I will tell you that in my 20s I felt "the need" to have a child but now that im almost 40, I am truly content and happy being child free. So don't feel bad if it never happens for you.
Thank you! We may never have biological children, and that’s okay. We’ve cried and cried over the thought of it but at the end of the day, what we want may not be what we need. I wish other people would understand that we’re not giving up, but accepting that maybe, just maybe there’s another path meant for us.
I broke my neck in 1979, i was 17. Wow it is been 45 years ago. I still have moments when i can't help but wonder what my life would have been without my injury. Looking back on all that i have accomplished since my injury and all the wonderful moments i have experienced I find it hard to believe that i could have done more even though had to do it with a body that made everything more difficult. I too was an athlete and i miss waxing my buddies on the basketball floor or running down a beach in my bare feet in the sand. Ultimately i have learned these are not the experiences that define us. They simply enhance this life experience. Your bravery and courage is off the charts. You have made me a little ashamed of myself because i could never do what you do. I could never film my struggles and share it with the world. In fact i never talk about it except with my closes friends. When you are in your 60's and you are looking back on your life and your babies have babies and you think about all the wonderful things you have experienced and accomplished in your life you will see that these things you mourn over Ultimately just were not that important. You will be an amazing father and a wonderful example of what a real man really is. You will pass your courage and strength to your children and they too will be amazing. I wish i could meet them. YOU ARE A MONSTER MY FRIEND YOU ARE HUGE AND YOUR INJURY WILL NEVER CHANGE THAT. BE BLESSED !! Charisma you are a beautiful and charming he is lucky to have you. my girl is a planner as well it is a wonderful quality..
My mother and father were married ten long years thinking that they would never have any children. Then, what do you know right out of the blue, I showed up. And, ... 5 years later, my sister! For our parents it was torturous I am sure. My father was a doctor and there was nothing he could do. This was way back there when there was no IVF and all of that. But, I can tell you this. My sister and I have benefited beyond belief just from having parents who had experienced a good amount of life and didn't have any real pressures on them. They had their feet on the ground and knew what was important. They raised us in a Christian home with lots of love and somehow they managed not to spoil us. My sister and I talk very often about how blessed we have been to have had older, settled parents. You never know what's just around the corner or what God's plan is for you. Bless you both!
If you don't mind sharing, how old were your parents when you were born? I'm in my 40s (female) and no children yet. I get super discoraged seeing that many of my friends have nearly grown kids and I feel like if I ever do get to have kids, people will think I'm their grandmother and wonder if I'll have the energy to keep up with them
@@nmbrown4076 oh, no problem. My father was 40 and my mother was 35 when I was born. My father was 45 and my mother was 40 when my sister was born. I wish you the very best. I am sure from what I've heard them say that that journey is long and difficult. I just thought about my sister-in-law who was 42 when her only child was born. He was quite a surprise because she didn't even know she was pregnant until 2 months before he was born at full term! She too had come to think that she would never have children.
@@byrw9557When you said older parents I was envisioning late 40s early 50s. 35 and 40 are quite young. I am not having any until I am 40 biologically or by adoption makes no difference to me😊.
What a mature conversation on such a hard subject for people. Meanwhile still respecting your own privacy. Well done and such respectful decisions. Thank you for sharing
Im almost 35 with no children for a few different reasons buy my sister has 3 kids. Being an auntie is absolutely incredible ❤ I'm so excited for you guys to see your baby niece! Enjoy the holidays with your family! 🫶
Babies love to be accidents (surprises). This is what I told my son and his wife. They tried for almost 6 years basically gave up and boom💥 . Now here we are 3 years later and not only do they have boom, they have bang and pow was born 7 days ago. Great Luck to all of you out there on your fertility journey .
Theres a couple here on TH-cam that also went through all the fertility procedures and had the same outcome as C&C then they just decided to adopt a baby boy. After 6yrs they naturally fell pregnant. Maybe they need to just take a break. Im sure its been all very stressful and physically hard on Charisma. There's nothing wrong in having hope and if it isnt meant to be there's other options from there
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Good for your son. But that's not the case for most of us.
Just sending the both of you love. We went through a tough IVF journey for years. On the other end that journey, we're now 44 with 2 IVF kids, age 8 and 5. Every journey is different and it's great to see that you have each other, a great relationship, and healthy perspective about the future. ❤
Proud survivor of 6 years of infertility over here. You guys are doing FANTASTIC. Just 10/10 infertilitying (i know thats not a word lol). Wish i could send actual strength over to you both ❤
I fell pregnant on a break after 6 years of infertility. I think the mental load of trying really affects the process of carrying and maintaining a pregnancy. You guys will get there on your own timeline and focusing on yourselves is so important.
Same. After more than 2 years I was mentally exhausted and out of the blue I got pregnant. I only took the test because it was my last one and I just wanted to confirm my cycle was about to start. Got those surprise 2 lines 😊
I can relate to every single word that you've said in this video. After 8 years of intertility, we've started our adoption process, a tough one that is by no means a solution to infertility, it's a completely different journey we decided to take over because we have the emotional/financial/practical space to raise a child that needs us. In fact, I had to recover from infertility grieving before starting this new process. What an experience! I wish you guys all the best for whatever next journey you take, just be happy and fully enjoy your beautiful life opportunity!
Not only have we adopted 3 through foster care. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years, I had Gastric bypass surgery almost 2 years ago and lost 75 pounds. I have never ovulated until after I lost the weight and had a miscarriage, and the next cycle we got pregnant. And now my baby boy is almost 6 months. It can happen. I am 41 and we are trying for bio baby # 2. My OB and other Drs is encouraging us too. I'm here to chat whenever
I appreciate you guys sharing. My daughter was told she has hormone problems and would have to take hormone enhancers.They hesitated and tried naturally and praise God after 3 years they are pregnant at age 34 baby is growing wonderful and will be here early next year. So never stop trying .God says when the time is right He will make it happen
I admire your ability & choice to share such a personal part of your lives… I’ve always had that maternal instinct, have always been great with kids, & we both love children so I never thought in a million years that we wouldn’t be parents. IVF was the only option for us. I worked with someone whose wife became pregnant their 1st time so I was super positive (however I was naive because she was in her 20s and I was almost 37, never became pregnant naturally. I quickly learned that everyone’s circumstances are different). That first failure was devastating. The grief for me was beyond words. But there was a “chance” for it to work & we had the medical benefits. I was determined to have a baby. So IVF became our life. I even took a year off from a demanding job to avoid stress. We did 9 IVF attempts, yes 9. We got pregnant once but never got to that 1st ultrasound to hear the heartbeat. Had another chemical pregnancy at some point and nothing more. To be honest, I probably would have kept going, but I had to think about what I was putting my husband through. He was dealing with this emotionally himself, not to mention my emotions AND he did every one of my injections except for one (I had to do a trigger shot once because he was stuck at work hours away). I was willing to put my body through it but I had to stop at some point. I wish I would have looked into having my eggs frozen in my 20s but I didn’t. So I think it’s great that you guys are looking at options. For us, the next step was donor eggs and our insurance would not cover everything. So we stopped. I’ve had issues being able to share my story because of the grief. Everywhere I went I was reminded that everyone had their own biological kids…going to the store, coworkers baby showers, EVERY holiday was difficult. But a counselor told me that it would take time & the grief would come and go. Thank you for allowing me to share in this comment. Again, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your life with us.
Thank you for saying those things. I have been through Infertility treatments and adoptions. Both are very hard. Adoption has been challenging as I raise my daughter. Both are emotionally intensive. I’m so happy to hear that you have really reflected on everything. Thank you for being open and honest.
Oh I agree natural birth is hard. I have experienced adoption, infertility and childbirth. I just want people to understand that adoption is not an easy path. Children who come to your family through adoption come with the life long challenge of trauma and grief. I only make this comment as a way ( hopefully) to educate some people.
@@susancham6025I'm sorry but that comment was insensitive in a thread about infertility. Are u seriously comparing "hards" or struggles? Giving birth is something they dream of. Adoption has its own very unique challenges and that was the point. Adoption usually happens because people struggle with infertility. Ive never struggled with infertlity but Im not insensitive. This certainly was not the place for that remark.
I love your positive attitude in regards to your life and relationship. Just because you don’t have a child now doesn’t make your lives incomplete. I have many friends who do not have children and they have had very full lives. Travel, more time for each other, pets are their children etc. you need to do what’s best for you.
I’ve messaged you before, the old lady from Dallas who had my twins in 1990 via brand new IVF procedures, a straight-up miracle at that time. Babies are miracles, any way you get them, I must say. I admire you two so much, always the upbeat attitudes on display when I know for a fact that being constantly positive during infertility is impossible. I’ve always said that couples who have experienced this are the only people who can fully empathize with you. You addressed all the common comments that people make when they’re trying to help, but are actually annoying the fool out of you. Anyway, God has His plan. You are waiting on Him. Be strong and know that you have so many pulling for your ultimate happiness!
To all the all the praying people let's unite I n consistently praying For Cole & Charisma to conceive there child and a safe. pregnancy &:healthy baby We know God has his timing let's keep the faith and support them in pray 🙏
Thanks for being this open about it, I understand that it’s hard to do IVF in the US, especially with the cost involved. Thankfully I live in a country where IVF is free for everyone. And I have never had any infertility problems myself. Think it’s important to take a break and reflect. I have also heard that people during the relaxing phase all of the sudden get pregnant and it works out just fine. It’s the choices, options and unknowns that probably is the hardest.
Cole and Charisma, thank you for being so transparent. Fertility is a very big deal, and you are wise recognizing your need for a break. I will pray for God to give you your hearts desire. Congratulations on becoming an aunt and uncle. I love you both.
I absolutely love what you said about adoption. As an adoptive single mom, I can tell you there is nothing easy about it. It should never be a back up plan. Adoption should be the choice you make for your own reasons. The type of adoption you choose should always be the right one for you. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad if you lean toward certain types of adoption over others. I can also tell you it’s great and my daughter is absolutely mine, but you absolutely do what is right for you. If you ultimately decide aunt and uncle life is what you want, then go for it! Best wishes and Merry Christmas!!
@@gloriabowie5629because these kids that have already been through immense trauma are treated like second choices by infertile couples fairly often. We also tend to look at adoption through rose colored lens but all adoption is an absolute tragedy because it meant the natural family had to be torn apart.
Our infertility journey led me to lean on Jesus in ways I had never before. Through prayer and loving others we discovered adoption was not just an option but the path we were destined to take. Our child has filled our hearts and she is the light on our life! We are also on the journey of giving our daughter a balanced life as we get to see the world through Autism/SPD. We signed up for a journey, and the adventures have had its mountains and valleys. Right now I am on a sofa watching her snuggle with her daddy while watching TV, life gets sweeter by the day with her in your lives! I thank God for her life and for our gift!
My mum and dad went through the same journey as you have and when they decided that enough was enough my mum saying she was fed up of being prodded and poked and it being nearly ten years of treatment they came to the conclusion that it was never going to happen. They booked a holiday and announced to family members there decision Christmas 1991 that they had stopped treatment, and they were happy whatever happened. By a miracle my mum found out she was pregnant with me in the January of 1992 And four years later she had my sister! Sometimes pressure can be a problem. But you always never know . I wish you both well ❤️❤️❤️
I so agree with you that having a genuine desire to adopt is so important! It’s not for everyone! - mom of two bio kids, one adopted, and recently had a chemical pregnancy
Thank you for being so open and honest, especially about the adoption topic. It really isn't' that simple of an answer. While people have the best intentions, you truly wont get it until you have infertility issues. It is rough. We start IVF in January after 13+ years of infertility and failed medicated and IUI cycles. This is not for the faint of heart. Sending you both a massive hug.
This video will be of great help and comfort to the many other couples struggling to conceive, thank you for posting and I really hope you grow your family, you're both terrific people and you will make great parents. Congrats on your new niece, so exciting!
Thanks you for acknowledging and voicing the fact that " just relax, just have fun, God's timing" doesn't always work! This was one of the biggest thing that ticked me off the most during my 7 yr infertility journey. There are so much scientific things that were preventing both my husband and I. Without intervention it would have been a very near 0% chance it would have happened naturally. As u said yes it can happen to some people but incomparision to all infertility issue couple the amount who do end up pregnant naturally is very very small percentage. You guys are so cute and wish you all the luck and prayers that when you are ready you find your solution.
I have fertility issues and it took me 4 yrs to have my son. My children (3) are all clomid babies. I fully understand your struggle. You mentioned adoption and my ex and I were in that process which relaxed us and the next thing you know I was pregnant. I know its hard but just relax your mind and dont focus so much then maybe a surprise might happen. Good luck and I wish you the best
IVF is hugely mentally and physically challenging so its great to take the time to rest, relax and reset. I'm sure you will find a way to successfully expand on your family. Enjoy the holiday season, keep that natural baby making practice up! Thanks for sharing your journey, I know that this must be really hard to talk about. You are correct that adoption isn't a solution for fertility but it is a solution for giving a loving home to a child and just another type of family which is just as loving as biological children. Maybe a mix of natural and adoption is what works for your future family if you want multiple children. You are a great couple and however your family grows is going to result in children having a great home and parents. You do what fits you.
I love you Cole and Charisma, I feel so sad that your plan didn't work, The whole process is draining emotionally and psychologically it I pray you don't give up, Charisma pls don't loose the smile,It makes Cole face beam with joy
@ Roll with Cole & Charisma, you mentioned about how adoption is very expensive, I wanted to let you know that a church in Tennessee helps families that want to adopt, the name of the church is Global Vision Church in Tennessee. So, this is something that y'all can keep in the back of your mind. Good luck and God bless
the couples and families that are learning from your experience....the courage to talk about all of this....the strength and vulnerability to share everything that you have shared....Cole and Charisma, thank you for all that you've done for the IVF, IUI, and infertility communities. thank you for teaching what you have learned through your experience.
My husband and I were in your place 45 years ago. Science had not progressed to where it is now. I did use medication, had 2 surgeries, and then multiple artificial inseminations. My great aunt, also an adoptive mom, told me pregnancy lasts 9 months while being a parent lasts a lifetime. Being parents was our heart's desire. Prayers over the years helped us and we were finally able to adopt a newborn baby girl. We enjoy being parents and are now enjoying our roles as grandparents. Your journey is not like any other's. Have faith and ultimately your path will become clear. God bless you both. I will pray for you.😊
We went through IVF… and they overstimulated my ovaries (which now cause my major heart condition) cardiomyopathy and I now have a pacemaker… our happy ending was ending up adopting we live in California and we went through our county and chose to have a fully closed adoption and it’s been wonderful. We adopted our son at 11 months he’s currently 10 years old… best of luck to you both
Have been through most of the experiences you have described. I truly admire your courage in speaking about something that can be so painful. I'm sure so many will feel less alone.
You guys have grace talking about your situation, more strength to u🙏🙏, the loss is not easy to deal with, i tested positive after ivf but few weeks later turned out to be extrauterine and had to be terminated, i lost my job too,can barely gather myself to talk about 2023, its been a tough year,i understand you, but glad you can afford the smiles, all the best. To all persons struggling with infertility, sending some virtual hugs.
My Aunt and Uncle did all the things. None took. My Uncle was doing yard work and got stung by a bee. Hip deterioration resulted from the steroids to combat the deadly bee sting. He found out he was allergic. Within 5 to 10 years he got both hips replaced and he and his wife got married in the Catholic Church. Not saying anything about that except it was important to them. Bet she was 40 something and she gets pregnant...not once but twice. Surgeon swears they were the good hip hardware he put in there, and tried to take all the credit. I think it was a mix of all the things positive in their life and world. Those kids are grown now, too. Like 27 and 23. Best wishes and many prayers for you both. I love following your lives. You're an inspiration to all.
It is a tough process , we are almost a year in on our fertility journey and still no luck at all. Still staying positive though. Thank you for being open and letting know your boundaries. Rightfully so , you also have to protect your peace. To end the message positive congratulations aunt and uncle it is really fun. I’m a proud auntie of 4 nieces and 1 nephew. Enjoy that time and bonding with you’re niece 🥰
My husband and I are in a very similar boat. It's such a struggle. I really applaud you guys are sharing your journey so openly. I haven't really shared our fertility journey with too many people because I really don't to hear those insensitive comments from people or the unwanted advice. Sending positive vibes!
Having been in the same position, I pray your hearts heal and you find acceptance and peace. The grief is real. The exhaustion, all types, is real. And you're right, people don't get it. Be blessed on your journey and thank you for sharing. ❤
Sending lotsa love & hugs your way, guys! I hope you enjoy the holidays, & take time to catch your breath!! Give yourself permission to do what works for YOU! You're worth it!🫂
I love your energy and how transparent you are about your fertility journey. You’re definitely not alone and I know it took a long time to process where you both are emotionally. Sending light and love.
Bless you Cole and Charisma as you open a private part of your lives to us… You continue to inform, inspire and provide insight for so many people. However you choose to have a family (or not) thanks for sharing your journey with us. Be blessed and Merry Christmas 😊
I can totally relate to this. After trying naturally and taking fertility treatments for 3 years after marriage. Hubby and I saved for an entire year which was really hard for us. I had to use my business funds, and cut off our projects, as well as save most of our salaries. We did IVF in January and it failed. It was really hard for us. It felt as if i had lost someone. I got married at 27 and thought i wouldve gotten pregnant right away, now im 31 and still Trying. I wan t to try again January 2024. I will never give up till i get that baby in my arms. Im encouraging you guys to do same. You will surely get that baby in due season.
I wonder why so many women in their 20s and early 30s are struggling to get pregnant. Studies show its on the rise. Is it definitely you that is having trouble, and not him?
We have two beautiful IVF babies that are 10 months and 3. Weeks old learned that with every loss and failure the doctors learn something new that might led to success. My heart is with you.
Charisma, you sure are cute when you blush! Peace & blessings to you both with your decision. You BOTH are going to be awesome parents (look how well Sophie turned out). What is supposed to happen, will happen in time.
After going through this issue with my spouse I can sympathize with you. You do finally get to a point of acceptance after the mourning is over and you come to a conclusion that is right for you, not everyone else. I always said God had a plan for us and that was taking care of elderly parents. On another note, my niece and husband were told that they would not be able to conceive. Guess who's pregnant and 40 years old? Baby girl to come in early May!! Hang in there and know that people are praying and will support you through whatever!!
It's a really hard jouney and it's really nice that you guys bring visibility to a topic that lots of couples go through but it's still hard to talk about it. Bring awareness is important. After 5 years of infertility, one failed IVF I'm 9 weeks pregnant, naturally and I'm 41 yo, after fouding my path through Naprotechnology. It was a blessing in our lives to have found a Napro doctor. Sending lots of love for you and all the families going through the same.
My heart is breaking for you two. Been there and completely understand. I remember the wall I hit before we adopted. The fact the I had to realize I would never have the privilege of carrying my own child slowly faded. I can tell you that the power of prayer is the way we ended up going. I have added the two of you to a baby prayer list. I’m glad that your head space is to take a break. I wish I could give you a hug. PEOPLE just so you know one of the things you should NOT say to a couple struggling is, “don’t think about it,stop trying.”
My hubby and I did IUF every month for a year. I had to stop because mentally I couldn’t do it anymore. TG my hubby was supportive and agreed with my system. Unfortunately we never got pregnant. I was blessed with nieces and nephews that I was able to take for overnighters often!
I’m so sorry guys! Was really rooting for a healthy baby for you. Have a friend who went through two full rounds of IVF and then ended up conceiving naturally after they both failed. Bout to have my egg retrieval and getting nervous. Your journey has been so helpful to watch.
My son and his wife struggle with infertility and will have to go through surrogacy if they hope to have a child that is biologically theirs. I understand so many of your points from the video, my son is white his wife black and to go through private adoption they are sadly looking at being judged as an interracial couple. My husband and I decided (after our kids were all grown up) to adopt a child. We wanted to adopt through the foster system so that we made a difference and went throug a 2 year process of being approved. Our goal was to adopt an older child and we did adopt our daughter who came to us at 9 years old. However, we did get a phone call one day to take a toddler who had severe hemophilia and was on IV therapy due to poor medical care from bio mom. He came for 2 weeks while they worked on a great aunt adopting him. That was 8 years ago and he never did leave. He has been our unexpected blessing. His hemophilia is well managed and he is an energetic soon to be 9 years old in a few days. So if you decide you want to be parents there are options. But adoption is not the answer to fertility problems. Adoption is something you do because you want a child and know you can love the child even though you didn't give birth to them. Adoption through the county that you live in doesn't cost any money either. So for those who don't have 40K, 60k, or even 100K+ to have a biological child there is still a way to become a parent if being a parent is what is the most important part. Good luck on whatever you chose your journey to be.
The best question someone asked us early on in our infertility journey was do you want to be pregnant or do you want to be a parent. Which was something good to think about when it came to adoption. I appreciate your view on adoption as not being a backup when you want a family of your own. We had also looked at all the option (adoption, ivf, embryo adoption) and they were all just as expensive and just as much as a MIGHT WORK as the other. Which is why we chose ivf. You guys are doing amazing and you are already great parents fighting for your future children! ❤️
You both have probably already thought about it, but in case you haven't, finding a surrogate to help you have a biological child might be an option for you. There are couples who are fertile but have a history of high-risk pregnancies where the only option is surrogacy because the life of the mother is at risk. Also, like the two of you, surrogates are some of the kindest and most inspirational people you will ever meet, they derive enormous satisfaction helping couples have children. God bless you both. Cole, you have gotten me through so many low points with my injury and recovery, seeing you rise to take on all of life's challenges right on the chin is truly inspirational. You're the man. Beyond that, Cole and Charisma, your show is extremely entertaining. I would really like to hear more about how you built up your show over the years and what your goals are. It's really cool seeing Cole endorse products that I had no idea existed.
Cole And Charisma, Absolutely Beautiful Seeing You And Listening To All That You Have Gone Through. You Are Truly Blessed To Be So In Love And Always Sharing The Trials And Tribulations You Encounter In Your Lives... Continue To Do What Makes You Happy!! .. Just Enjoy Your Life And Take Each Day As It Comes!! .. Love You!!! ❤❤❤
It's great to hear how you are content with your lives. There are still too many people who have children because they're bored, unhappy in their relationship, think it's an absolute, whatever... You have to feel save and happy and content before you take care of another life
I had 11 miscarriages. I have PCOS and had sooo much infertility. I didn’t think I would ever get pregnant naturally. But the second I stopped trying I got pregnant with twins. Unfortunately one passed from vanishing twin in the first trimester. I welcomed the surviving one October 24th of 2023. Do not ever give up!!! I have my rainbow because I refused to give up. Now I had a high risk pregnancy and a lot of complications after I delivered but my son is healthy so far and I am so grateful. Do not ever give up! The second I came to terms with the fact I would never have children I got pregnant. I had ten years of loss.
I just started following your story. I have been in a rehabilitation hospital for four years after a fall that whipped out both of my legs and I'm still working on getting back to walking. Beside that, I don't want to say that I understand what you are going through. When I was young my husband and I were unable to get pregnant and tried fertility options without a pregnancy. I was given up for adoption at age 11 months to the most loving and accepting family. I've been on both sides of the fence. I wish you joy and happiness. God bless you
My husband and I were mid way through embryo adoption in Spain (we live in NZ, I can elaborate on the important reasons why we chose Spain if you want) when we found out we were pregnant naturally. We still plan to do embryo adoption in the future.
I am just now watching this. It takes me back to our infertility diagnosis. It is hard. Just take your time with your break. I understand everything you are talking about and what you need. You do have those of us out here who understand what you’re going through. Prayers and hugs for you both 🙏
I took 16 years of my fertility journey. Ton of injections, emotional support from hubby hold me to try 16 years. I gave up last year after my last embryo transferred and failed.
I’m really sorry it didn’t work out as you planned, but I love your attitude coming out of it. What a great couple 💕Whatever the future holds, you have each other
Sending Prayers on your Journey: Charisma may likely need total bed rest soon after the IVF transfer and to also avoid any form of strenuous lifting, bending and carrying. The best is to possible arrange for full-time nurse to be care giver for the both of you for maximum of 12 weeks. This will allow for a safe and guaranteed implantation during the first trimester and it may need quite some planning and cost budget allocation for the care giver. All the best
I feel this. You are right about adoption. I’ve had infertility issues for over a decade and have to get surgery so I’m not gonna be a mom. People have said just get drunk and it will happen. Keeping it private is a great idea because unsolicited advice is the absolute worst. 🤷🏼♀️ I wish you both the best ❤❤❤
Thank you for your comment about adoption. I, myself is an adoptee and have similar thoughts as you said about adoption being something yu want to do and not something you think you have to do because other choices don't work.
I had lots of IVF, finally gave up and used presead on a whim. Got pregnant first time. Then had my second naturally. It's an exhausting process, but I hope one way or another, you get there
I just love your entire story!! Thank you for being transparent!! There are so many people out there that need to hear your story!! Love!! Love!! LOVE!! ❤❤ You are showing God's Love!! Amen!!
12 year infertility survivor here… and our miracle girl turned 5 today.. God truly sees you and has amazing plans for you! Enjoy and trust him in every season! Praying for y’all!
While I'm so very very sorry for that whole long year of so much chaos and work and pain and struggles, this video was also so completely beautiful. This is a really hard conversation to have and I think you handled it so gracefully and beautifully. You made great points about adoption not being a consolation prize and about how hard this all is. I wish you both love and luck and happiness.
Thanks for watching everyone! We have appreciated all the support from you all this past year. Friendly reminder: we are not looking for advice, just a simple update. We are at peace with our decision to stop fertility treatments. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! ❤
I hope you all have a merry Christmas 🎄
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you both. How courageous to even share with us. This is YOUR story and nobody else’s story. My heart goes out to you guys in wherever journey of life takes you. I truly feel that nobody understands the fertility experience unless you have walked in those shoes. Hugs to you both!! ❤🤗 You are both so special and deserve life’s blessings!
Thanks for sharing your update. My heart goes out to you both. 💔 Your journey sounds traumatic and draining, and I don't blame you for taking a break to re-evaluate. No advice at all. Just prayers for continued peace through this season. 🙏🏻🤍
Just wishing you both a very Merry Christmas once you feel relaxed who know it may happen best of luck on the next chapter
P.S. Congrats on becoming an aunt and uncle! ✨️💕🎉
My husband and I have been together for 13 years. (We got married when I was 23, he was 27) we struggled with getting pregnant our entire marriage, and always chalked it up to me having pcos and irregular cycles, often times not ovulating. We’ve spoken with fertility specialists twice, and both times I chickened out because of the emotional investment and all the costs involved. I had a fibroid and a polyp removed in 2021 and we had a chemical pregnancy 2 months later.
After all this time together, we both pretty much got into this mindset of, “if it’s going to happen, it will happen, and if it doesn’t, we will be ok” and we just stopped preventing and just let life happen
Much to our surprise it’s the end of 2023 and we are 17 weeks pregnant with our son. (I’m 36 now, he’s 40)
Hoping and praying for you guys.
Glory to God. Congrats
Congratulations! I’m sorry it was a struggle but you guys are at the best age to be parents imho. Enjoy. Wish your family blessings!
Congratulations to you and your husband.
Give us the SIDS update next year please 🫢🤭🫣
Congratulations!! I'm glad that you shared your story because it is encouraging. I'm 32 now, and I'm not married, and most people keep telling me that if I got kids earlier in my 20s, I'd conceive faster than if I have kids in my 30s. But, I realise some people struggle to get pregnant no matter the age.
My friend and her husband had fertility issues for years and chose to adopt a baby boy. When he was four months old they found out they were expecting …twins. So fast forward a few months and they went from childless, to a boy and twin girls all right around a year old. So rest up! You never know what the future holds! 🙂
Oh my goodness, what an amazing blessing! Talk about a house full of the pitter patter of little feet!!!! I can’t send enough well wishes and congratulations to your friends. I am SO happy for them 😊💖💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖
Wishing you guys all the best in your fertility journey. Have you looked into introducing some new foods in your diet? Like Yams, okra, folic acid and Zinc rich foods. Also, chinese medicine was helpful... They really do help , speaking as one endo sufferer with little chance of natural pregnancy. who had 2 full term births ...
My husband and l tried for 13 years naturally. We were told we would never be able to have a child. But my husband said if it's God's will it will happen. And when we resigned ourselves. We got pregnant with twin girls. I was 35 and my husband was 36 . Hang in there miracle do happen. Praying for you.❤
I TRULY PRAY 🙏 BOTH U N COLE WILL ACHEIVE UR DREAMS TO COME TRU TO HAVING A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY EXPANDED🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞💙♥️U 2PPL R CLEARLY AMAZING N VERY POSITIVE N SOO BEAUTIFUL 😍 I ADMIRE UR CHEEFULNESS N BEING SOO DARN POSITIVE 👍🙏♥️💙DONT GIVE UP GOOD LUCK 🍀 I PROMISE GUYS IT WILL HAPPEN…….UR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE N WILL BE ANSWERED IN DUE TIME FOR SURE 👍🤞💙♥️🥰😇🙏
GOD BLESS TO U BOTH🙏😇💙♥️🍀
Let’s not turn to horribly flawed superstition as an explanation for why some people are able to conceive while others can’t - it’s a truly harmful practice
As an adoptee, thank you for recognizing that adoption is not the consolation prize with infertility. We are not back up plans. We are human beings. My adoptive moth3 should have never been a mom. Ever. But she had money, so an adoption agency gave her two babies. Adoption is born in trauma, it CAN be a beautiful thing, but it is the beauty made from ashes. And parents need to understand they are going into a very different journey than getting pregnant. Both can be amazing and beautiful - but they are two separate journeys.
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! We have heard this from so many adoptees. So sorry to hear what you’ve gone through. My heart goes out to you ❤
@@coleandcharisma Thank you. I did have a great adoptive dad, though. He made growing up bearable. Now I’m grown, with my own infertility/ rainbow baby going on 16. I completely get why you need to take a break. Infertility treatments are exhausting on ALL levels.
You stated this perfectly! A of people (birth and adoptive) don't become parents with their human child in mind. It's extremely selfish but most adults are ran by their inner child; they can't see let alone understand other people let alone children.
To óklll LL l lol
can so relate !
I remember when I was trying to get pregnant. It was such a tough road. Many years and heartache later, I discovered I had autoimmune disease and my body was treating my babies like an invader. I got treatment and finally carried my son all the way through term. I just wanted to encourage you and let you know that I’m praying for you to have your hearts desire. ❤
Sounds very similar to me I’ve had two losses and it was determined that was the root cause still waiting for mg rainbow baby
Please elaborate
What is the name of the autoimmune disease
@@krystalavery5328Have you tried natural supplements to cleanse and build your body for conception?
I have Antiphospholipid syndrome. The condition caused me to suffer multiple early miscarriages. I have no symptoms of it outside of pregnancy. After I was diagnosed my doctor treated me for it during my pregnancy. The treatment enabled me to have two full term pregnancies which blessed me with my two sons.
It's true, one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my adult life is whenever someone tells you to JUST do something, that person has NO idea what they're talking about!
You're SO right!!
"Adoption shouldn't be a solution to infertility" such a powerful statement. Thank you for saying that! Sending love and positive vibes throughout your journey becoming parents
Yes, adoption should be an option that people actually want, instead of it being a last resort.
I'm personally someone who could have had biological kids if I wanted to, but I would emotionally much rather have a child that already exists in the world and needs a home and a parent to love them.
@@KaiLucasZacharyexactly. I can’t imagine dropping tens of thousands on fertility treatments when actually humans already exist
@@Abril-1234Because people want their own kids that are genetically theirs. It’s primal. It’s not normal to raise other peoples kids It’s hilarious that that is such a complicated thing for people to understand.
@@carryeveryday910 unlike other animals we don’t have to be bound by our “primal desires”
@@KaiLucasZachary Adoption was not my first choice, yet it was my best choice.
When it's the right time, God will make it happen. His timing is perfect.
We probably tried for a year naturally, before we became pregnant. It was a tough year because all my siblings were either giving birth or announcing their pregnancy. That was actually very hard for me. When our baby was finally born, he was our world. Six weeks later, our world was shattered...he was diagnosed with a rare medical condition, called neurofibromatosis. On an intelligence test, our boy was in the 95th percentile. He was one of a kind. My one sister said that he responded differently than other children to discipline so as a mother, I should not consider myself on the same page as other mothers trying to figure out discipline issues. He proudly finished school with not one discipline issue against his name. His other aunt said, he just got on with life regardless of the hardships that neurofibromatosis brought his way...taking on one challenge after the other...never giving up. That was his motto...it was in the form of a fridge magnet. Twenty years later, about a month before his 21st birthday, our Heavenly Father called him home after a short battle with cancer. A day before his passing, he determinedly still tried to do things that were almost impossible for him to do. When I encouraged him to take my help, he said that he didn't come this far to give up now. Always being the one who would keep everyone on the straight and narrow path, his cousin said at his memorial service that he had wisdom beyond his years. When we were all coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis, he said that his cancer was actually a blessing in disguise. If God would decide not to heal him, he would have time to prepare himself for eternity. He fought with so much faith, courage and hope. His concerns were always for the family, especially his grandparents when he received bad news...even being concerned for the oncologist who had to deliver such bad news to him. I follow your story, because so much reminds me of my boy...like him, YOU INSPIRE!
I was unexpectedly diagnosed with cancer early this year. 2023 Has not been a good year. My boy had such peace in his eyes just before he shut his eyes for the last time. Since that moment, I experienced that peace that the world just cannot give...and it's carrying me through now. Peace, is my wish to you in this time of grief. Peace changes everything! 💙💚💙💚 Stefan's Mama, 4ever21.
May the peace of God which surpasses all human understanding continue to carry you through even in the testing time your again facing. May you never cast your eyes and spirit away from the cross.
So sorry for everything that you are going through. I pray for you and anyone going through any form of medical conditions.
My daughter also has neurofibromatosis type I. Some days are better than others.
Sending luv from Texas. 💙 💚
@@nantezaesther3766 thank you so much for the encouragement...staying at the cross is my prayer too. It was at the cross that I found spiritual lessons and blessings in my pain that I could never have imagined. My good and faithful Father did not waste my sorrow.
@@mimirw8031 ahhh dearest Parent...when we entered the uncertain world of neurofibromatosis, what probably was the hardest, was not knowing what to expect from this condition. It was this uncertainty that kept me on my knees. If you would like to connect, let me know. 💙💚💙💚
God's ways indeed aren't our ways.
I will tell you that in my 20s I felt "the need" to have a child but now that im almost 40, I am truly content and happy being child free. So don't feel bad if it never happens for you.
Thank you! We may never have biological children, and that’s okay. We’ve cried and cried over the thought of it but at the end of the day, what we want may not be what we need. I wish other people would understand that we’re not giving up, but accepting that maybe, just maybe there’s another path meant for us.
@coleandcharisma whatever happens leave it to fate 🙏🏼 at least you both have each other …. True love ❤and some people never find that !
I wish everyone to feel content with the place life ends up.
Have you considered surrogacy?
I broke my neck in 1979, i was 17. Wow it is been 45 years ago. I still have moments when i can't help but wonder what my life would have been without my injury. Looking back on all that i have accomplished since my injury and all the wonderful moments i have experienced I find it hard to believe that i could have done more even though had to do it with a body that made everything more difficult. I too was an athlete and i miss waxing my buddies on the basketball floor or running down a beach in my bare feet in the sand. Ultimately i have learned these are not the experiences that define us. They simply enhance this life experience.
Your bravery and courage is off the charts. You have made me a little ashamed of myself because i could never do what you do. I could never film my struggles and share it with the world. In fact i never talk about it except with my closes friends. When you are in your 60's and you are looking back on your life and your babies have babies and you think about all the wonderful things you have experienced and accomplished in your life you will see that these things you mourn over Ultimately just were not that important. You will be an amazing father and a wonderful example of what a real man really is. You will pass your courage and strength to your children and they too will be amazing. I wish i could meet them. YOU ARE A MONSTER MY FRIEND YOU ARE HUGE AND YOUR INJURY WILL NEVER CHANGE THAT. BE BLESSED !! Charisma you are a beautiful and charming he is lucky to have you. my girl is a planner as well it is a wonderful quality..
My mother and father were married ten long years thinking that they would never have any children. Then, what do you know right out of the blue, I showed up. And, ... 5 years later, my sister! For our parents it was torturous I am sure. My father was a doctor and there was nothing he could do. This was way back there when there was no IVF and all of that. But, I can tell you this. My sister and I have benefited beyond belief just from having parents who had experienced a good amount of life and didn't have any real pressures on them. They had their feet on the ground and knew what was important. They raised us in a Christian home with lots of love and somehow they managed not to spoil us. My sister and I talk very often about how blessed we have been to have had older, settled parents. You never know what's just around the corner or what God's plan is for you. Bless you both!
If you don't mind sharing, how old were your parents when you were born? I'm in my 40s (female) and no children yet. I get super discoraged seeing that many of my friends have nearly grown kids and I feel like if I ever do get to have kids, people will think I'm their grandmother and wonder if I'll have the energy to keep up with them
@@nmbrown4076 oh, no problem. My father was 40 and my mother was 35 when I was born. My father was 45 and my mother was 40 when my sister was born. I wish you the very best. I am sure from what I've heard them say that that journey is long and difficult. I just thought about my sister-in-law who was 42 when her only child was born. He was quite a surprise because she didn't even know she was pregnant until 2 months before he was born at full term! She too had come to think that she would never have children.
@byrw9557 thanks for sharing. It's such a lonely journey but hearing about others who have made the journey keeps me hopeful
@@byrw9557When you said older parents I was envisioning late 40s early 50s. 35 and 40 are quite young. I am not having any until I am 40 biologically or by adoption makes no difference to me😊.
Most powerful testimony.
John 11:40 Don't I tell that if you believe, you will see the glory of God.
What a mature conversation on such a hard subject for people. Meanwhile still respecting your own privacy. Well done and such respectful decisions. Thank you for sharing
You guys are so well-informed. As an Adoptive mom, I know that adoption is not for the faint of heart. Taking a break is a fantastic idea!
Im almost 35 with no children for a few different reasons buy my sister has 3 kids. Being an auntie is absolutely incredible ❤ I'm so excited for you guys to see your baby niece! Enjoy the holidays with your family! 🫶
Babies love to be accidents (surprises). This is what I told my son and his wife. They tried for almost 6 years basically gave up and boom💥 . Now here we are 3 years later and not only do they have boom, they have bang and pow was born 7 days ago. Great Luck to all of you out there on your fertility journey .
Ok but that’s not the case for a lot of people. No use pushing false hope
@@jasmineleopard7593she sharing someone else’s journey not giving anyone false hope. Chill
This is not for everyone. Every person says that and its annoying.
Theres a couple here on TH-cam that also went through all the fertility procedures and had the same outcome as C&C then they just decided to adopt a baby boy. After 6yrs they naturally fell pregnant. Maybe they need to just take a break. Im sure its been all very stressful and physically hard on Charisma. There's nothing wrong in having hope and if it isnt meant to be there's other options from there
Good for your son. But that's not the case for most of us.
Just sending the both of you love. We went through a tough IVF journey for years. On the other end that journey, we're now 44 with 2 IVF kids, age 8 and 5. Every journey is different and it's great to see that you have each other, a great relationship, and healthy perspective about the future. ❤
Proud survivor of 6 years of infertility over here. You guys are doing FANTASTIC. Just 10/10 infertilitying (i know thats not a word lol). Wish i could send actual strength over to you both ❤
I fell pregnant on a break after 6 years of infertility. I think the mental load of trying really affects the process of carrying and maintaining a pregnancy. You guys will get there on your own timeline and focusing on yourselves is so important.
Same. After more than 2 years I was mentally exhausted and out of the blue I got pregnant. I only took the test because it was my last one and I just wanted to confirm my cycle was about to start. Got those surprise 2 lines 😊
Fell pregnant is a weird phrase to me.
You guys will make amazing parents whatever route you go and however it happens. It makes sense to give your spirit and your finances a break.
True
💯 🤗
My thoughts exactly @herdarkwings Thank you for sharing @coleandcharisma 💜
I can relate to every single word that you've said in this video. After 8 years of intertility, we've started our adoption process, a tough one that is by no means a solution to infertility, it's a completely different journey we decided to take over because we have the emotional/financial/practical space to raise a child that needs us. In fact, I had to recover from infertility grieving before starting this new process. What an experience! I wish you guys all the best for whatever next journey you take, just be happy and fully enjoy your beautiful life opportunity!
Charimsa: "Trying naturally is fun"
Cole: "That's true"
I felt that 🤣
Not only have we adopted 3 through foster care. My husband and I have been married for almost 19 years, I had Gastric bypass surgery almost 2 years ago and lost 75 pounds. I have never ovulated until after I lost the weight and had a miscarriage, and the next cycle we got pregnant. And now my baby boy is almost 6 months. It can happen. I am 41 and we are trying for bio baby # 2. My OB and other Drs is encouraging us too. I'm here to chat whenever
"What will be, will be." Glad you are thinking rationally and thoughtfully. Love to you both.
I appreciate you guys sharing. My daughter was told she has hormone problems and would have to take hormone enhancers.They hesitated and tried naturally and praise God after 3 years they are pregnant at age 34 baby is growing wonderful and will be here early next year. So never stop trying .God says when the time is right He will make it happen
How about you let them decide for themselves
This is beautiful 🎉🎉
Sounds like a case for Jesus. Tell Him.
That statement:"we are content with who and where we are" is most powerful. Enjoy life and be happy.
I admire your ability & choice to share such a personal part of your lives…
I’ve always had that maternal instinct, have always been great with kids, & we both love children so I never thought in a million years that we wouldn’t be parents. IVF was the only option for us. I worked with someone whose wife became pregnant their 1st time so I was super positive (however I was naive because she was in her 20s and I was almost 37, never became pregnant naturally. I quickly learned that everyone’s circumstances are different). That first failure was devastating. The grief for me was beyond words. But there was a “chance” for it to work & we had the medical benefits. I was determined to have a baby. So IVF became our life. I even took a year off from a demanding job to avoid stress.
We did 9 IVF attempts, yes 9. We got pregnant once but never got to that 1st ultrasound to hear the heartbeat. Had another chemical pregnancy at some point and nothing more.
To be honest, I probably would have kept going, but I had to think about what I was putting my husband through. He was dealing with this emotionally himself, not to mention my emotions AND he did every one of my injections except for one (I had to do a trigger shot once because he was stuck at work hours away). I was willing to put my body through it but I had to stop at some point.
I wish I would have looked into having my eggs frozen in my 20s but I didn’t. So I think it’s great that you guys are looking at options. For us, the next step was donor eggs and our insurance would not cover everything. So we stopped.
I’ve had issues being able to share my story because of the grief. Everywhere I went I was reminded that everyone had their own biological kids…going to the store, coworkers baby showers, EVERY holiday was difficult. But a counselor told me that it would take time & the grief would come and go.
Thank you for allowing me to share in this comment. Again, I just wanted to thank you for sharing your life with us.
Thank you for saying those things. I have been through Infertility treatments and adoptions. Both are very hard. Adoption has been challenging as I raise my daughter. Both are emotionally intensive. I’m so happy to hear that you have really reflected on everything. Thank you for being open and honest.
Natural birth is hard too. We all choose our "hard"
Oh I agree natural birth is hard. I have experienced adoption, infertility and childbirth. I just want people to understand that adoption is not an easy path. Children who come to your family through adoption come with the life long challenge of trauma and grief. I only make this comment as a way ( hopefully) to educate some people.
@@avcmom549Thank you.
@@susancham6025I'm sorry but that comment was insensitive in a thread about infertility. Are u seriously comparing "hards" or struggles? Giving birth is something they dream of. Adoption has its own very unique challenges and that was the point. Adoption usually happens because people struggle with infertility. Ive never struggled with infertlity but Im not insensitive. This certainly was not the place for that remark.
I love your positive attitude in regards to your life and relationship. Just because you don’t have a child now doesn’t make your lives incomplete. I have many friends who do not have children and they have had very full lives. Travel, more time for each other, pets are their children etc. you need to do what’s best for you.
I’ve messaged you before, the old lady from Dallas who had my twins in 1990 via brand new IVF procedures, a straight-up miracle at that time. Babies are miracles, any way you get them, I must say. I admire you two so much, always the upbeat attitudes on display when I know for a fact that being constantly positive during infertility is impossible. I’ve always said that couples who have experienced this are the only people who can fully empathize with you. You addressed all the common comments that people make when they’re trying to help, but are actually annoying the fool out of you. Anyway, God has His plan. You are waiting on Him. Be strong and know that you have so many pulling for your ultimate happiness!
To all the all the praying people let's unite I n consistently praying For Cole & Charisma to conceive there child and a safe. pregnancy &:healthy baby
We know God has his timing let's keep the faith and support them in pray 🙏
Merry Christmas Cole & Charisma
And Happy New Year!!!!😊
Thanks for being this open about it, I understand that it’s hard to do IVF in the US, especially with the cost involved. Thankfully I live in a country where IVF is free for everyone. And I have never had any infertility problems myself. Think it’s important to take a break and reflect. I have also heard that people during the relaxing phase all of the sudden get pregnant and it works out just fine. It’s the choices, options and unknowns that probably is the hardest.
Cole and Charisma, thank you for being so transparent. Fertility is a very big deal, and you are wise recognizing your need for a break. I will pray for God to give you your hearts desire. Congratulations on becoming an aunt and uncle. I love you both.
Charisma.. I totally agree with you about a person’s “why” for adopting. That’s good. I’m praying for you and Cole!!!🙏🏾❤️
I absolutely love what you said about adoption. As an adoptive single mom, I can tell you there is nothing easy about it. It should never be a back up plan. Adoption should be the choice you make for your own reasons. The type of adoption you choose should always be the right one for you. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad if you lean toward certain types of adoption over others.
I can also tell you it’s great and my daughter is absolutely mine, but you absolutely do what is right for you. If you ultimately decide aunt and uncle life is what you want, then go for it! Best wishes and Merry Christmas!!
If you want a child but can’t have one I don’t see want is wrong with adoption as long as you love the child
@@gloriabowie5629because these kids that have already been through immense trauma are treated like second choices by infertile couples fairly often. We also tend to look at adoption through rose colored lens but all adoption is an absolute tragedy because it meant the natural family had to be torn apart.
Our infertility journey led me to lean on Jesus in ways I had never before. Through prayer and loving others we discovered adoption was not just an option but the path we were destined to take. Our child has filled our hearts and she is the light on our life! We are also on the journey of giving our daughter a balanced life as we get to see the world through Autism/SPD. We signed up for a journey, and the adventures have had its mountains and valleys. Right now I am on a sofa watching her snuggle with her daddy while watching TV, life gets sweeter by the day with her in your lives! I thank God for her life and for our gift!
My niece done ivf for 5 years and gave up for many of the same reasons you mentioned and is now the mother of a beautiful boy , conceived naturally.
My mum and dad went through the same journey as you have and when they decided that enough was enough my mum saying she was fed up of being prodded and poked and it being nearly ten years of treatment they came to the conclusion that it was never going to happen. They booked a holiday and announced to family members there decision Christmas 1991 that they had stopped treatment, and they were happy whatever happened. By a miracle my mum found out she was pregnant with me in the January of 1992 And four years later she had my sister! Sometimes pressure can be a problem. But you always never know .
I wish you both well ❤️❤️❤️
I so agree with you that having a genuine desire to adopt is so important! It’s not for everyone! - mom of two bio kids, one adopted, and recently had a chemical pregnancy
Thank you for being so open and honest, especially about the adoption topic. It really isn't' that simple of an answer. While people have the best intentions, you truly wont get it until you have infertility issues. It is rough. We start IVF in January after 13+ years of infertility and failed medicated and IUI cycles. This is not for the faint of heart. Sending you both a massive hug.
This video will be of great help and comfort to the many other couples struggling to conceive, thank you for posting and I really hope you grow your family, you're both terrific people and you will make great parents. Congrats on your new niece, so exciting!
Thanks you for acknowledging and voicing the fact that " just relax, just have fun, God's timing" doesn't always work! This was one of the biggest thing that ticked me off the most during my 7 yr infertility journey. There are so much scientific things that were preventing both my husband and I. Without intervention it would have been a very near 0% chance it would have happened naturally. As u said yes it can happen to some people but incomparision to all infertility issue couple the amount who do end up pregnant naturally is very very small percentage. You guys are so cute and wish you all the luck and prayers that when you are ready you find your solution.
I’m so sorry for you guys. You deserve so much more. You’re both strong and so special.
I have fertility issues and it took me 4 yrs to have my son. My children (3) are all clomid babies. I fully understand your struggle. You mentioned adoption and my ex and I were in that process which relaxed us and the next thing you know I was pregnant. I know its hard but just relax your mind and dont focus so much then maybe a surprise might happen. Good luck and I wish you the best
IVF is hugely mentally and physically challenging so its great to take the time to rest, relax and reset. I'm sure you will find a way to successfully expand on your family. Enjoy the holiday season, keep that natural baby making practice up! Thanks for sharing your journey, I know that this must be really hard to talk about. You are correct that adoption isn't a solution for fertility but it is a solution for giving a loving home to a child and just another type of family which is just as loving as biological children. Maybe a mix of natural and adoption is what works for your future family if you want multiple children. You are a great couple and however your family grows is going to result in children having a great home and parents. You do what fits you.
I agree with this statement
I love you Cole and Charisma, I feel so sad that your plan didn't work, The whole process is draining emotionally and psychologically it I pray you don't give up, Charisma pls don't loose the smile,It makes Cole face beam with joy
@ Roll with Cole & Charisma, you mentioned about how adoption is very expensive, I wanted to let you know that a church in Tennessee helps families that want to adopt, the name of the church is Global Vision Church in Tennessee. So, this is something that y'all can keep in the back of your mind. Good luck and God bless
At times when you stop trying so hard and stop expecting it to happen it happens naturally.
But thats not always the case…
@@jazzyprather True but it's known to happen
the couples and families that are learning from your experience....the courage to talk about all of this....the strength and vulnerability to share everything that you have shared....Cole and Charisma, thank you for all that you've done for the IVF, IUI, and infertility communities. thank you for teaching what you have learned through your experience.
I love how Charisma looks at Cole, when the time is right it will happen ❤
My husband and I were in your place 45 years ago. Science had not progressed to where it is now. I did use medication, had 2 surgeries, and then multiple artificial inseminations. My great aunt, also an adoptive mom, told me pregnancy lasts 9 months while being a parent lasts a lifetime. Being parents was our heart's desire. Prayers over the years helped us and we were finally able to adopt a newborn baby girl. We enjoy being parents and are now enjoying our roles as grandparents. Your journey is not like any other's. Have faith and ultimately your path will become clear. God bless you both. I will pray for you.😊
LOVE what your aunt said the statement is so true!
Everyone's journey differs.
Both of you are glowing and whatever you decide we will always be here praying and supporting you 🙏 ❤😊
We went through IVF… and they overstimulated my ovaries (which now cause my major heart condition) cardiomyopathy and I now have a pacemaker… our happy ending was ending up adopting we live in California and we went through our county and chose to have a fully closed adoption and it’s been wonderful. We adopted our son at 11 months he’s currently 10 years old… best of luck to you both
Please don’t allow infertility to damage your love for each other-y’all’s relationship tops everything.
Honestly, it’s brought us closer and has made our relationship stronger
@@coleandcharisma❤
Have been through most of the experiences you have described. I truly admire your courage in speaking about something that can be so painful. I'm sure so many will feel less alone.
You guys have grace talking about your situation, more strength to u🙏🙏, the loss is not easy to deal with, i tested positive after ivf but few weeks later turned out to be extrauterine and had to be terminated, i lost my job too,can barely gather myself to talk about 2023, its been a tough year,i understand you, but glad you can afford the smiles, all the best. To all persons struggling with infertility, sending some virtual hugs.
My Aunt and Uncle did all the things. None took. My Uncle was doing yard work and got stung by a bee. Hip deterioration resulted from the steroids to combat the deadly bee sting. He found out he was allergic. Within 5 to 10 years he got both hips replaced and he and his wife got married in the Catholic Church. Not saying anything about that except it was important to them. Bet she was 40 something and she gets pregnant...not once but twice. Surgeon swears they were the good hip hardware he put in there, and tried to take all the credit. I think it was a mix of all the things positive in their life and world. Those kids are grown now, too. Like 27 and 23. Best wishes and many prayers for you both. I love following your lives. You're an inspiration to all.
I admire your courage and strength in sharing such a vulnerable journey !! ❤
It is a tough process , we are almost a year in on our fertility journey and still no luck at all. Still staying positive though. Thank you for being open and letting know your boundaries. Rightfully so , you also have to protect your peace.
To end the message positive congratulations aunt and uncle it is really fun. I’m a proud auntie of 4 nieces and 1 nephew. Enjoy that time and bonding with you’re niece 🥰
You guys are absolutely incredibly inspiring, and your breakthrough is right around the corner! Declaring it for you both!
My husband and I are in a very similar boat. It's such a struggle. I really applaud you guys are sharing your journey so openly. I haven't really shared our fertility journey with too many people because I really don't to hear those insensitive comments from people or the unwanted advice. Sending positive vibes!
You guys communicate so well. It’s ok to take a break . Enjoy the holiday season!
Having been in the same position, I pray your hearts heal and you find acceptance and peace. The grief is real. The exhaustion, all types, is real. And you're right, people don't get it. Be blessed on your journey and thank you for sharing. ❤
Sending lotsa love & hugs your way, guys! I hope you enjoy the holidays, & take time to catch your breath!! Give yourself permission to do what works for YOU! You're worth it!🫂
I love your energy and how transparent you are about your fertility journey. You’re definitely not alone and I know it took a long time to process where you both are emotionally. Sending light and love.
Bless you Cole and Charisma as you open a private part of your lives to us… You continue to inform, inspire and provide insight for so many people. However you choose to have a family (or not) thanks for sharing your journey with us. Be blessed and Merry Christmas 😊
I can totally relate to this. After trying naturally and taking fertility treatments for 3 years after marriage. Hubby and I saved for an entire year which was really hard for us. I had to use my business funds, and cut off our projects, as well as save most of our salaries. We did IVF in January and it failed. It was really hard for us. It felt as if i had lost someone.
I got married at 27 and thought i wouldve gotten pregnant right away, now im 31 and still Trying.
I wan t to try again January 2024. I will never give up till i get that baby in my arms.
Im encouraging you guys to do same. You will surely get that baby in due season.
Try Fasting and pray
I wonder why so many women in their 20s and early 30s are struggling to get pregnant. Studies show its on the rise.
Is it definitely you that is having trouble, and not him?
It's me. diagnosed with PCOS@@DHU11
I had my one and only baby when I was 43, an old lady, lol! So, you still have time! I’m praying for you both.
We have two beautiful IVF babies that are 10 months and 3. Weeks old learned that with every loss and failure the doctors learn something new that might led to success. My heart is with you.
When the time comes, you'll both be wonderful parents whichever way that manifests itself. "Stay positive!" When you least expect it 😊
How are you so good at putting all this stuff into words-really-thanks so much
Charisma, you sure are cute when you blush! Peace & blessings to you both with your decision. You BOTH are going to be awesome parents (look how well Sophie turned out). What is supposed to happen, will happen in time.
After going through this issue with my spouse I can sympathize with you. You do finally get to a point of acceptance after the mourning is over and you come to a conclusion that is right for you, not everyone else. I always said God had a plan for us and that was taking care of elderly parents. On another note, my niece and husband were told that they would not be able to conceive. Guess who's pregnant and 40 years old? Baby girl to come in early May!!
Hang in there and know that people are praying and will support you through whatever!!
It's a really hard jouney and it's really nice that you guys bring visibility to a topic that lots of couples go through but it's still hard to talk about it. Bring awareness is important. After 5 years of infertility, one failed IVF I'm 9 weeks pregnant, naturally and I'm 41 yo, after fouding my path through Naprotechnology. It was a blessing in our lives to have found a Napro doctor. Sending lots of love for you and all the families going through the same.
My heart is breaking for you two. Been there and completely understand. I remember the wall I hit before we adopted. The fact the I had to realize I would never have the privilege of carrying my own child slowly faded. I can tell you that the power of prayer is the way we ended up going. I have added the two of you to a baby prayer list. I’m glad that your head space is to take a break. I wish I could give you a hug. PEOPLE just so you know one of the things you should NOT say to a couple struggling is, “don’t think about it,stop trying.”
My hubby and I did IUF every month for a year. I had to stop because mentally I couldn’t do it anymore. TG my hubby was supportive and agreed with my system. Unfortunately we never got pregnant. I was blessed with nieces and nephews that I was able to take for overnighters often!
I’m so sorry guys! Was really rooting for a healthy baby for you. Have a friend who went through two full rounds of IVF and then ended up conceiving naturally after they both failed. Bout to have my egg retrieval and getting nervous. Your journey has been so helpful to watch.
Keep the faith nothing happens before it’s time am praying for you guys
My son and his wife struggle with infertility and will have to go through surrogacy if they hope to have a child that is biologically theirs. I understand so many of your points from the video, my son is white his wife black and to go through private adoption they are sadly looking at being judged as an interracial couple. My husband and I decided (after our kids were all grown up) to adopt a child. We wanted to adopt through the foster system so that we made a difference and went throug a 2 year process of being approved. Our goal was to adopt an older child and we did adopt our daughter who came to us at 9 years old. However, we did get a phone call one day to take a toddler who had severe hemophilia and was on IV therapy due to poor medical care from bio mom. He came for 2 weeks while they worked on a great aunt adopting him. That was 8 years ago and he never did leave. He has been our unexpected blessing. His hemophilia is well managed and he is an energetic soon to be 9 years old in a few days. So if you decide you want to be parents there are options. But adoption is not the answer to fertility problems. Adoption is something you do because you want a child and know you can love the child even though you didn't give birth to them. Adoption through the county that you live in doesn't cost any money either. So for those who don't have 40K, 60k, or even 100K+ to have a biological child there is still a way to become a parent if being a parent is what is the most important part. Good luck on whatever you chose your journey to be.
The best question someone asked us early on in our infertility journey was do you want to be pregnant or do you want to be a parent. Which was something good to think about when it came to adoption. I appreciate your view on adoption as not being a backup when you want a family of your own.
We had also looked at all the option (adoption, ivf, embryo adoption) and they were all just as expensive and just as much as a MIGHT WORK as the other. Which is why we chose ivf.
You guys are doing amazing and you are already great parents fighting for your future children! ❤️
You both have probably already thought about it, but in case you haven't, finding a surrogate to help you have a biological child might be an option for you. There are couples who are fertile but have a history of high-risk pregnancies where the only option is surrogacy because the life of the mother is at risk. Also, like the two of you, surrogates are some of the kindest and most inspirational people you will ever meet, they derive enormous satisfaction helping couples have children. God bless you both. Cole, you have gotten me through so many low points with my injury and recovery, seeing you rise to take on all of life's challenges right on the chin is truly inspirational. You're the man. Beyond that, Cole and Charisma, your show is extremely entertaining. I would really like to hear more about how you built up your show over the years and what your goals are. It's really cool seeing Cole endorse products that I had no idea existed.
Cole And Charisma, Absolutely Beautiful Seeing You And Listening To All That You Have Gone Through. You Are Truly Blessed To Be So In Love And Always Sharing The Trials And Tribulations You Encounter In Your Lives... Continue To Do What Makes You Happy!! .. Just Enjoy Your Life And Take Each Day As It Comes!! .. Love You!!! ❤❤❤
It's great to hear how you are content with your lives. There are still too many people who have children because they're bored, unhappy in their relationship, think it's an absolute, whatever... You have to feel save and happy and content before you take care of another life
I have a vision you guys are going to conceive naturally, it will be an unexpected surprise!! Sending you both lots of Love & Light!! 😊
I had 11 miscarriages. I have PCOS and had sooo much infertility. I didn’t think I would ever get pregnant naturally. But the second I stopped trying I got pregnant with twins. Unfortunately one passed from vanishing twin in the first trimester. I welcomed the surviving one October 24th of 2023. Do not ever give up!!! I have my rainbow because I refused to give up. Now I had a high risk pregnancy and a lot of complications after I delivered but my son is healthy so far and I am so grateful. Do not ever give up! The second I came to terms with the fact I would never have children I got pregnant. I had ten years of loss.
Sometimes I feel like the second you give up a lot of couples get pregnant !!!
I really admire you guys strength, I’m keeping you guys in my prayers ❤️
I just started following your story. I have been in a rehabilitation hospital for four years after a fall that whipped out both of my legs and I'm still working on getting back to walking. Beside that, I don't want to say that I understand what you are going through. When I was young my husband and I were unable to get pregnant and tried fertility options without a pregnancy. I was given up for adoption at age 11 months to the most loving and accepting family. I've been on both sides of the fence. I wish you joy and happiness. God bless you
My husband and I were mid way through embryo adoption in Spain (we live in NZ, I can elaborate on the important reasons why we chose Spain if you want) when we found out we were pregnant naturally. We still plan to do embryo adoption in the future.
Adoptar embriones😮 no sabía de esa posibilidad 😮
I am just now watching this. It takes me back to our infertility diagnosis. It is hard. Just take your time with your break. I understand everything you are talking about and what you need. You do have those of us out here who understand what you’re going through. Prayers and hugs for you both 🙏
Praying for the best. You’re both such a wonderful couple.
I took 16 years of my fertility journey.
Ton of injections, emotional support from hubby hold me to try 16 years. I gave up last year after my last embryo transferred and failed.
I’m really sorry it didn’t work out as you planned, but I love your attitude coming out of it. What a great couple 💕Whatever the future holds, you have each other
Sending Prayers on your Journey: Charisma may likely need total bed rest soon after the IVF transfer and to also avoid any form of strenuous lifting, bending and carrying. The best is to possible arrange for full-time nurse to be care giver for the both of you for maximum of 12 weeks. This will allow for a safe and guaranteed implantation during the first trimester and it may need quite some planning and cost budget allocation for the care giver. All the best
I feel this. You are right about adoption. I’ve had infertility issues for over a decade and have to get surgery so I’m not gonna be a mom. People have said just get drunk and it will happen. Keeping it private is a great idea because unsolicited advice is the absolute worst. 🤷🏼♀️ I wish you both the best ❤❤❤
Such wisdom and such a true partnership, you're a lovely example for others.
Thank you for your comment about adoption.
I, myself is an adoptee and have similar thoughts as you said about adoption being something yu want to do and not something you think you have to do because other choices don't work.
I had lots of IVF, finally gave up and used presead on a whim. Got pregnant first time. Then had my second naturally.
It's an exhausting process, but I hope one way or another, you get there
I know it’s going to happen for guys and I can’t wait!!! Sending you guys lots of love ❤
I just love your entire story!! Thank you for being transparent!! There are so many people out there that need to hear your story!! Love!! Love!! LOVE!! ❤❤ You are showing God's Love!! Amen!!
12 year infertility survivor here… and our miracle girl turned 5 today.. God truly sees you and has amazing plans for you! Enjoy and trust him in every season! Praying for y’all!
While I'm so very very sorry for that whole long year of so much chaos and work and pain and struggles, this video was also so completely beautiful. This is a really hard conversation to have and I think you handled it so gracefully and beautifully. You made great points about adoption not being a consolation prize and about how hard this all is. I wish you both love and luck and happiness.