I gave him the ultimatum, he didnt follow trough so I dipped... when i saw the title i was like yes!! Now i know what to do next!. But you never got to make him miss you. Please make a video a second part of this video would mean the world to me ♥️
You love I like the snack you are, you're hummus to my heart ❤️ Ps: if that doesn't make sense in English it's cause I'm Spanish and emotionally unavailable.
I gave him an ultimate but with a genuine heart, not hate or revenge. Learned to let go. All of a sudden from ignoring me he misses me lots. He starts giving me compliments. Calling and texting me. But I remain quiet. In sticking to my decision and I know I deserve so much more. Btw I'm really happier now hehehehhee. ;)
@@lihong9389 you can cave in but do not stop dating others either. Stop only when given a ring. Be open about why you are doing it (his coming and going and not being consistent).
After the 9th date, 90 days in, he said he was glad he has me. A week later I told him " I'm looking for more than casual dating. I hoped that would be with you, but if not, that's OK. So if you're not that guy I need to walk away." And guess what? no comment, no sorry, no goodbye, he just let me go. I don't want a guy who doesn't want me. (we are both in our 60's, so guys, age doesn't matter!)
I gave my ex an ultimatum to get his shit together and to work on us. he said he was more "hurt and confused" by it and left me for giving him one, it broke me but he came back a little over a year saying he still loves me. By then I was already dating my now fiancé. I'm now with a much better man, compatibility wise and treats me amazing. While my ex was still figuring shit out and gave up on the relationship he realized the mistake he made eventually. Ultimatums regardless if it works how you want them to eventually finds it way to all round help you in general to find better people and situations more beneficial and suited in your life.
@Isabella Rossellini the problem is you can still unblock and search everything you erased. For me it's better to leave things as they are, no blocking because it creates more emotions around the situation.
I accidentally said "I love you" first and after some time to think it over, I then gave an ultimatum: "why would I stay with someone who doesn't love me when someone else out there will?" Well, he resolved his feelings real fucking quick. lmao. Took him about a month. My cut off was our 1 year anniversary, and he said it 2 days before. He said he didn't realize before. (men are wild...) Anyway, the relationship since then has been better than ever. An ultimatum works everyone!
I gave the ultimatum after 5/6 months. It totally felt like we had something real. When I did that, he dipped straight away. He straight away said - I can’t. To be honest I think he had someone back in his home country. He goes back home every few months. Clearly he was happy to entertain a relationship but just not with me. I have raised my standards because I deserve better and will never ever do that again. Elliot…..I HAVE LEARNED SOOOO MUCH FROM YOU 👊🏼
It is my humble opinion that if a relationship becomes difficult, like a lot of work and effort or tactics...is the universe telling you this is the wrong one for you. Sure relationships demand commitment and may be effort but it should feel right, worth it. You should see progress with time....if not, then just leave it behind.
After this video i finaly decided to remove him after 5,5 month of dissapointment. He cancelled many dates many times and he could come back every time without a commitment. He realy knows I'm hooked. After your video it was enough for me. Thank you for showing me the reality.
Good luck, it is most definitely a tough ride to recovery after being so invested, but your decision is the correct one in order to get your internal balance back and get ready for the real one, the one that will stick around and consider you his everything. You’ll be grateful of the wisdom you got from past experience once the right person comes along so hang in there. Good luck and try to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
@@88kimberly My honest opinion? NOTHING. If he contacts you again, it will be to give you more of the same. Unfortunately for you, he is aware of your vulnerability for him, he knows he has power over you and power CORRUPTS. He has probably come and gone in the past and gotten what he wants without investing any effort because you are doing it all. He is not motivated to give his best because you are the one doing all the giving. It is a common mistake for people to believe that doing a lot for love will make others love them back, but this is rather an attraction killing behavior. When you don’t let a guy work to show you what he can do for you, you are killing his provider/hunting instinct. He will get comfortable, let himself “be loved”, and give nothing in return. Please don’t be surprised if he contacts you again these days, the Xmas holidays give people the perfect excuse to “appear”. If he does, please don’t forget that he has been in peace with his conscience giving you as little as possible for over 5 months. He does not need you so if he is back it won’t be for you, but for himself. Focus on that before thinking of answering any message or accepting any encounter. Don’t continue this cycle, your time on this world is not unlimited, please use it wisely.
@@irinacar Thank you for your advice. I realy appreciate it and it helpt me a lot. He did reach out to me today but now i know it is better not to respond at all because in the end it will stay the same and i am the one who feels terrible again and again. And he will never learn his lesson.
This rule applies not only to dating but life in general and even in work situations. if your getting treated like shit and people are trying to have their cake and eat it to stringing you along, giving you false hope. You're being played and that's the time to BOUNCE don't tolerate the bullshit.
I had caved in after being ghosted by my ex BF several times... so when I gave him an ultimatum, he agreed, then reneged 2 days later, I think he was thinking I would cave again, but I had reached my limit. I always missed parts of the relationship but not being disrespected, nor watching him develop an emotional affair with "a friend". That was pushing me too far.
This is happening to me right now. I'm done. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life (I'm 35) than be with someone who cant recognise what he has without me pushing for it. I'm gonna dip - I dont want inconsistency.
I have watched a lot of your videos in the past 3 weeks because I got myself into a messy situation with an older guy who just got out of a relationship 6 months ago🙈. I will say I displayed all the red flags within 6 weeks. I was too fast, put out too quickly, too expressive with my feelings n intentions, over texting and was always available.🤣 I did so because I was over confident and thought he would be too happy to take me outta of the market since I am way younger n too hot for him. Men! He shocked me buy playing all that men game with mixed messages and negotiating tactics. Thanks to your videos I decided to grow a back bone after 2 months of realising his game and told him I am done. I haven't written him for almost 2 weeks but I can see he just see he just sent me a mess this morning. Once I cut him off, I started going on dates with other guys so even if he comes back I do not see myself caving in so much and I also do not intend to make the same mistakes I made with him with other guys, not after watching your videos.
so far his every words in every videos are true, what he is teaching is simply to chose self respect over relationship, not afraid of losing the guy makes you automatically act high value and increase your value and not settling for less. I honestly not having any issues with men but learning this knowledge he is teaching really helps me to understand men's psychology. Women really needs to understand this so they don't get manipulated. it really is not a game, it is a strategy so that you don't get fooled.
I’m 35. So I learnt femininity awhile ago. ( I used to think I was a badass and I’ve always hung with guys for most part) one day I realized I was just a girl in their eyes. So I adapted. I’ve been watching you last few weeks trying to dissect a crush I’ve had off and on for past 12 years. With my “guy friend” past and your insight..... I’m kicking ass. You are my favorite coach!
@elliotscott I gave him the ultimatum, he didnt follow trough so I dipped... when i saw the title i was like yes!! This is the best timing cause i know what to do next. But you never got passed the point you said we needed to get out.. make a video a second part of this vid!!
There is no problem without solution let me introduce you to someone who helped me get my lover back and my relationship was fixed without delay within few days...
It depends on the man. If he just wants sex the dates will become boring and you'll always get hints about sex... You will not be able to reach this number with a guy like this.. Usually f*ck boys pull away or fade away if they recognize you are girlfriend material.. Or even worse they'll play along because they are so selfish and immature that they ll play along until goal is reached.. I don't think the matter is the number but the quality time. Besides, someone could reach 8 dates in less than a month, while other may take 3 or more...so it's not objective.. Just try to get to know them and build the connection. And by the time sex comes you ll already have figure out the guy and kinda what he wants.
For us ladies who are at the 8th date mark and are ready to give the ultimatum, Can you do a video on HOW to give the ultimatum without sounding needy?
I just gave him an ultimatum a few minutes ago now wondering if I did the right thing. I’m better off alone. He wants to watch everything I do but won’t claim me. Im over it
Wasted 2 years of my life with a guy who I wasn't "allowed" to follow on his SM. (When it was a public account) I saw MANY female followers/following. Long story short...2 years in I finally said, you post that I exist in your life or I'm done because my spidey sences were going wild. He said no. So there ya have it. Access to me DENIED as of now.
i gave him an ultimatum few weeks later he said hes committed.. I confirmed a few weeks later he said theirs no getting rid of me your stuck with me... we will see where it goes
If you have to pull away to force a relationship what’s the point. It’s sad to think that a guys ultimate goal is to get his cake and eat it too most of the time. A quality guy wouldn’t want that, that he wouldn’t be so selfish. Yes, I will not lower standards, clearly men aren’t thinking about our feelings, and their goal is to take advantage, and be lazy. Thanks this is great insight into the shitty selfish nature of men, no wonder we are always getting hurt, we expect them to be operating as humans and not sociopaths, lol, our bad.
I watched this video, then went back to the video where you walked while talking to us (the first bnw video), let you give me a big brother reality slap from 4:19 of that video.. then clicked on membership. Thank you for always telling the truth.
Thank you for your videos and pearls of wisdom!! I think we all need some of this tough love or harsh truth at one point or another. Personally, I respect tf out of it because it gives me REAL insight into what's actually going on as opposed to the fabricated version we so often try to feed ourselves. Thanks again ❤
I used the ultimatum on my ex BF when he was entertaining a gal half his age, secretively, and not including me ever. He appeared to not want to lose me so he agreed to let her go, but 2 days later he waffled and told me he changed his mind bc he wasn't going to "throw away" his friends. I left, and he tried to get me back for years. I never responded to his emails bc he never addressed the issue. I wasn't going to jump back into that unresolved mess. I had already been through the ringer trying to be understood, and get him to understand how we needed more boundaries to protect our relationship.
Well done Elliott !! Love love love your more examples....Keep it going with examples of what and what not to do and we will definitely be at the top of your class!!! Bravo!!!
I ended my whatever you want to call it yesterday. I talked him once already about him not communicating and he said he would work on it and hasn't. I brought it up again....nothing blocked and he gon have the nerve to tell me that he love me smh.
yes Sir :) following through :) with your GREAT CLEAR Direction Support DEAR HEART thank u and the others here in support with us all on the same Healthy Path :) taking care of ourseleves FIRST is the only way ouf they wont learn unless follow through no amount of yelling pleeding ever works...just like training a dog or a child your voice MUST HAVE POWER as u said BACK BONE is being Alone and knowing you are in your Value attractive with this being alone and back bone now your attracting...now your in self care self love and faith that they will come those who are meant for you they will leave that arent
I’ve got a 68 year old that doesn’t hold a candle to me doing the same thing because he is good looking and lots of women chasing him.We are ruining them and I’m done with this ass wipe after the 2nd time this year him telling me he doesn’t know what he wants but won’t break it off completely. I’m going to do it for him!
Yes. I agree . there has to be a mutual connection on the whole moving forward. It can be a commited relationship. I am realizing now that it doesn't even have to be about getting to the marriage vows. It's just two people that enjoy each other have fun and actually like being by each other's side.
@@angelicaangel2624 Very true. I like reading the replies. Definitely I was married for 18 yrs. It does no good if the two people can't get along. Getting along well is 90% the situation.
“He’s going to take advantage cuz there’s no reason not to” ... That sums it up ladies. Straight from the asses mouth to our brains. Yes, being a decent human is like number five on a guys list of priorities, clearly, lol.
@@mariettaszabo definitely did not go good. I came back to him since he missed me and told me how he wants to be with me. He was good for like 4 days then he started to be distant. I told him this is not what I want and ended it period.
Great now you have me thinking about the 28 year old. I think I'll have to cut him off when he return, he's not going to keep me if he moves, he has made that clear. But either way, I have zero intentions to do long distance if he did offer that. Texas and New Hampshire is quite the stretch. We've had 7 dates but when he returns we will be on week 9.
What if he doesn't call in 4 weeks only texts once in a while besides knowing that I prefer call atleast every week. Mine is complicated ldr where he is seperated and i am married
@@ElliotScottDating yeah, thanks! If he would come back around that WOULD be the reason, I dipped with the invitation to call me if and when he's free and clear to be ready, and if I'm still available we'll talk, and he's respected that. But I'd need to be careful as if starting from scratch. Thanks for your teachings 💯
Elliot, I called him about a month after walking away and he didn’t answer or call me back. Did I lose my dignity really bad? I didn’t like how I felt after calling but my mom convinced me to try to call him. I wish I didn’t take the bad advice, but do you think it ruined the stand that I made to him when I walked away? Do you think it made him think I’m pathetic?
2 months in. What about if he insinuated he was my bf a couple times over the last couple weeks and I playfully was like huh I didn’t realize I wasn’t single but he was like “im just playing” does he think I shut him down? He’s a shy person lol
American only? No, this is happening everywhere in the civilized world. As long as women keep making things easy for guys they are going to take advantage of them.
@@listiyanischna why have Asian family to tell you what to do?? They don’t own you.. they can’t force you to marry it’s your life... That’s why all those Asian dramas are playing everywhere and forcing Asians into marriage and committing to have a so called “stable life” when Asians in general are following western culture and knowing Their true selves that you dont need a man or a woman to make you happy.. it’s finding yourself... the old traditions are fading away which is good. :-)
Elliot, you keep saying that only women benefit from a relationship, and that guys just lose benefits. Men also get benefits from a relationship though. I know for a fact that many guys like having a girlfriend or wife because then they feel comfortable being vulnerable with them and opening up. Society pressures men to push their sadness and anxiety down, so they dont even open up to their closest guy friends. Meanwhile, women feel more acceptance talking to female friends about deep stuff. There are a lot of guys that want commitment with women, so they get the relationship benefits (ie. deep talks, thoughtful gifts, being taken care of when they're sick); not just the booty call benefits.
The point is, when you already give him the benefits of a girlfriend then there’s no reason for him to make you his girlfriend. If you see he just wants sex then just see him for that ten minutes then leave. If he wants more then he needs to work for that.
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 yes 99 percent of guys don’t want to put a label on it and just say we’re together... and they just use you to stroke their EGO cause they love that... and I see guys living with their girlfriends for 3-12 years and the girl friend is expecting the guy to put a ring on their finger... why would he want to ... every thing is free with the benefits with the housing the emotions the sex... forget the marriage it’s free benefit.. and if he’s wants to move on he can throw you away just like that... cause you were giving him the free benefits it’s not rocket science 🧪
@@51844mj marriage isn’t really part of our culture anymore anyway. It doesn’t prevent your wife or husband from leaving you, it only makes the breakup financially devastating. Being defactos removes the risk. Maybe what you’re talking about is the case in cultures where marriage is still a thing but not so much in mine. Being just boyfriend and girlfriend means the woman can leave the man too. It’s better that marriage only happens if the two really really want it rather than use it to prevent loneliness. Ultimately you will be lonely if you get married to avoid loneliness. Btw women aren’t cows. Given women do most of the choosing while men sell themselves as good mates, men are the cows being sold off to the women.
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 That goes both ways.... why would a women then want to be his official GF if she too is getting all the benefits of a relationship? In my opinion, it is selfish people who want their cake and eat it too, despite being male or female. And yes, with healthy people, both benefit from a committed relationship.
Elliot. What do you say about this situation. After 4 months of dating (no relationship) a guy tells me he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment. Then I say "Ok, so it doesn't make sense to me, bye" and then HE CHANGES HIS MIND AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP with me. Is he bluffing?
@@ljhall1696 It took him 2 minutes. We were texting and he said that he didn't want a relationship because he's not in the right place in his job. I didn't try to convince him to change his mind, I texted: "Ok, so it doesn't make sense to me" . 2 minutes later he textex me back and asked me to be with him, then we met and he deleted his tinder and asked me to be with him. But I'm looking for a husband and I don't think that this man is in ready for commitment, he probably just likes me and wants to have a "temporary girlfriend"
Mine is similar- he said he is too stressed at work to deal with me stressing about wanting a relationship- not that i’ve outright bugged him, i just said he was acting uninterested Have seen him 3 times a week (overnight) for four months I walked away a week ago- what a waste of time 😩 Good luck to you
Sorry I'm not going to pay 2 dollars to listen to how to find a man in 4 days its ridiculous for that reason cus I can't listen to it, even though U subscribe I'm unsubscribing thanks but no thanks ..
This doesn't work. I did this and lost the love of my life. I suffered alone for next 20 years. Instead l should have stuck on, and he would have married me and changed, as the next girl did, and he did for the next girl. I learned my lesson and after that l never again leave a man, I stick on until l become accepted by him. That's how men work. Men do not miss women. They only like to be forced and manipulated. They are grateful to such women.
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 it would have given me more happiness to be with him and treated badly than without him and treated badly. By giving ultimatum and leaving, I hurt myself stupidly, and stayed alone for next twenty years from the trauma. That decision cost me my life. I know so much better now, never ever leave like that when you are in love. Stick on to him, and only leave when you like another guy more. After him, l stuck on to men until I'm done with them. Never experienced grief again. Never ever leave a man you love thinking he will miss you. He won't. Keep him as long as you need to. Scope other men. Only leave after you've fallen for another man.
@@51844mj no l made the wrong decision because I was young and naive. The right thing is to stay with the guy, as long as you can, manipulate him and keep him attached. Especially if you want marriage , because men appreciate clingyness. But even if you don't want marriage, keep him as long as you can, only leave him when you fall for someone else, usually they will themselves realize they lost you. That is when men truly hurt, and actually respect you. But yeah it takes skill to do that
@@ashsqx3246 that’s terrible that you have that mindset. You really needed to get out more and have hobbies. If he treated you badly and was ok with you leaving then he didn’t love you back. You probably need counselling.
Question: what if we had the conversation of “where is this going” and he said just give me a little more time and be just a little more patient with me. I said “ok. But I won’t be patient much longer.” Then nothing changed. And now I gave him the ultimatum and he claimed he was “confused. Wants me but not ready for another relationship right now. But doesn’t want to lose me.” So I said “I’m done.” And I walked away. And I haven’t talked to him since. That was just yesterday. Was I stupid for negotiating the first time? And will he take me seriously this time? Or miss me?
God, I look like shit just waking up smh...
I need to DIP. It hurts. The guys I like don't respect my ultimatums
I gave him the ultimatum, he didnt follow trough so I dipped... when i saw the title i was like yes!! Now i know what to do next!. But you never got to make him miss you. Please make a video a second part of this video would mean the world to me ♥️
Haha nah you don't, you look great. Thanks for the video even with the SMH haha.
You love I like the snack you are, you're hummus to my heart ❤️
Ps: if that doesn't make sense in English it's cause I'm Spanish and emotionally unavailable.
You fine-uhhhh! 💓
Can you please make a video when a guy has been cheated on...
I gave him an ultimate but with a genuine heart, not hate or revenge. Learned to let go. All of a sudden from ignoring me he misses me lots. He starts giving me compliments. Calling and texting me. But I remain quiet. In sticking to my decision and I know I deserve so much more. Btw I'm really happier now hehehehhee. ;)
I always ♥️ cave in...no back bone
That's great. I'm the same way. If he's not on the same page as me then I don't let him have the assets.
Being nice and giving complements aren't enough... he has to remove the main issue, otherwise it's just hoovering.
@@lihong9389 you can cave in but do not stop dating others either. Stop only when given a ring. Be open about why you are doing it (his coming and going and not being consistent).
@@beegee5305 Yes exactly. The main issue which is usually he doesn't want commitment or titles on the relationship.
After the 9th date, 90 days in, he said he was glad he has me. A week later I told him " I'm looking for more than casual dating. I hoped that would be with you, but if not, that's OK. So if you're not that guy I need to walk away." And guess what? no comment, no sorry, no goodbye, he just let me go. I don't want a guy who doesn't want me.
(we are both in our 60's, so guys, age doesn't matter!)
I would cut it off ASAP
@@jennytorres2201 and I did. Best decision, never regretted it.
So 60 something guys still do the ghosting thing? Wow.
Wow I didn't know that even guys in there 60's have trouble committing.
I gave my ex an ultimatum to get his shit together and to work on us. he said he was more "hurt and confused" by it and left me for giving him one, it broke me but he came back a little over a year saying he still loves me. By then I was already dating my now fiancé. I'm now with a much better man, compatibility wise and treats me amazing. While my ex was still figuring shit out and gave up on the relationship he realized the mistake he made eventually. Ultimatums regardless if it works how you want them to eventually finds it way to all round help you in general to find better people and situations more beneficial and suited in your life.
I told him last night that I’m walking away. Not in hopes he’ll miss me and coming running back. He had his chance.
Keep on walking sweets. It’s gonna suck for a while but it’s got to happen. I refuse to be anybodies idiot!!
Love it! I’ll watch this video every time I feel the need to text him.
@Isabella Rossellini the problem is you can still unblock and search everything you erased. For me it's better to leave things as they are, no blocking because it creates more emotions around the situation.
I accidentally said "I love you" first and after some time to think it over, I then gave an ultimatum: "why would I stay with someone who doesn't love me when someone else out there will?" Well, he resolved his feelings real fucking quick. lmao. Took him about a month. My cut off was our 1 year anniversary, and he said it 2 days before. He said he didn't realize before. (men are wild...) Anyway, the relationship since then has been better than ever. An ultimatum works everyone!
I gave the ultimatum after 5/6 months. It totally felt like we had something real. When I did that, he dipped straight away. He straight away said - I can’t. To be honest I think he had someone back in his home country. He goes back home every few months. Clearly he was happy to entertain a relationship but just not with me. I have raised my standards because I deserve better and will never ever do that again. Elliot…..I HAVE LEARNED SOOOO MUCH FROM YOU 👊🏼
It is my humble opinion that if a relationship becomes difficult, like a lot of work and effort or tactics...is the universe telling you this is the wrong one for you. Sure relationships demand commitment and may be effort but it should feel right, worth it. You should see progress with time....if not, then just leave it behind.
“ here you are dangling “ hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣
I had to repeat that bit over and over again 😂
I give ultimatums. Men run away.
His feelings were not sufficient
@Sherri Prince thank you so much,❤️
@@alexandra9985 yes and that really hurts
@@Mrs.T305 happened to me too!
They can’t handle your heat!
After this video i finaly decided to remove him after 5,5 month of dissapointment. He cancelled many dates many times and he could come back every time without a commitment. He realy knows I'm hooked. After your video it was enough for me. Thank you for showing me the reality.
Good luck, it is most definitely a tough ride to recovery after being so invested, but your decision is the correct one in order to get your internal balance back and get ready for the real one, the one that will stick around and consider you his everything. You’ll be grateful of the wisdom you got from past experience once the right person comes along so hang in there. Good luck and try to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
@@irinacar thank you for your sweet message. I hope i will feel better soon. It is very hard but i have to. But what should i do if he contacts me?
@@88kimberly My honest opinion? NOTHING. If he contacts you again, it will be to give you more of the same. Unfortunately for you, he is aware of your vulnerability for him, he knows he has power over you and power CORRUPTS. He has probably come and gone in the past and gotten what he wants without investing any effort because you are doing it all. He is not motivated to give his best because you are the one doing all the giving. It is a common mistake for people to believe that doing a lot for love will make others love them back, but this is rather an attraction killing behavior. When you don’t let a guy work to show you what he can do for you, you are killing his provider/hunting instinct. He will get comfortable, let himself “be loved”, and give nothing in return. Please don’t be surprised if he contacts you again these days, the Xmas holidays give people the perfect excuse to “appear”. If he does, please don’t forget that he has been in peace with his conscience giving you as little as possible for over 5 months. He does not need you so if he is back it won’t be for you, but for himself. Focus on that before thinking of answering any message or accepting any encounter. Don’t continue this cycle, your time on this world is not unlimited, please use it wisely.
@@irinacar Thank you for your advice. I realy appreciate it and it helpt me a lot. He did reach out to me today but now i know it is better not to respond at all because in the end it will stay the same and i am the one who feels terrible again and again. And he will never learn his lesson.
This rule applies not only to dating but life in general and even in work situations. if your getting treated like shit and people are trying to have their cake and eat it to stringing you along, giving you false hope. You're being played and that's the time to BOUNCE don't tolerate the bullshit.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
When you cave in- that’s a new agreement. He has all control then. Hold the line.
So true.
I had caved in after being ghosted by my ex BF several times... so when I gave him an ultimatum, he agreed, then reneged 2 days later, I think he was thinking I would cave again, but I had reached my limit. I always missed parts of the relationship but not being disrespected, nor watching him develop an emotional affair with "a friend". That was pushing me too far.
Correct thats why I am not friends with exboyfriends
What is bad about it?
Ultimatum only works if he is in love 🤩with you!!!
I believe if you need to use ultimatums at all its a big red flag and he most likely doesn't love you.
Ultimatums always work. They either get the guy to commit, or they get him to stop wasting your time. It’s a win-win either way.
An ultimatum isn't to get him to commit
@@ElliotScottDating then what is it for?
@@janessalee8659 to expose that he is not committed
This is happening to me right now. I'm done. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life (I'm 35) than be with someone who cant recognise what he has without me pushing for it. I'm gonna dip - I dont want inconsistency.
Yes me too. You said it well. Decided to date myself hahahahaha
Good for you Sophie.
I have watched a lot of your videos in the past 3 weeks because I got myself into a messy situation with an older guy who just got out of a relationship 6 months ago🙈. I will say I displayed all the red flags within 6 weeks. I was too fast, put out too quickly, too expressive with my feelings n intentions, over texting and was always available.🤣 I did so because I was over confident and thought he would be too happy to take me outta of the market since I am way younger n too hot for him. Men! He shocked me buy playing all that men game with mixed messages and negotiating tactics. Thanks to your videos I decided to grow a back bone after 2 months of realising his game and told him I am done. I haven't written him for almost 2 weeks but I can see he just see he just sent me a mess this morning. Once I cut him off, I started going on dates with other guys so even if he comes back I do not see myself caving in so much and I also do not intend to make the same mistakes I made with him with other guys, not after watching your videos.
Haha were we talking to the same guy 😂😂😂 same girl same
so far his every words in every videos are true, what he is teaching is simply to chose self respect over relationship, not afraid of losing the guy makes you automatically act high value and increase your value and not settling for less. I honestly not having any issues with men but learning this knowledge he is teaching really helps me to understand men's psychology. Women really needs to understand this so they don't get manipulated. it really is not a game, it is a strategy so that you don't get fooled.
I’m 35. So I learnt femininity awhile ago. ( I used to think I was a badass and I’ve always hung with guys for most part) one day I realized I was just a girl in their eyes. So I adapted.
I’ve been watching you last few weeks trying to dissect a crush I’ve had off and on for past 12 years. With my “guy friend” past and your insight..... I’m kicking ass. You are my favorite coach!
@elliotscott I gave him the ultimatum, he didnt follow trough so I dipped... when i saw the title i was like yes!! This is the best timing cause i know what to do next. But you never got passed the point you said we needed to get out.. make a video a second part of this vid!!
I had to listen to this again to confirm not to send him a happy new year or happy birthday text.
There is no problem without solution let me introduce you to someone who helped me get my lover back and my relationship was fixed without delay within few days...
+ 2 3 4 9 0 2 2 9 5 0 8 0 8 🔈🔉
This was SO hard to hear but so needed! Thank you!
I can't even get 6 to 8 dates. I only had 2. Kuddos to the girls getting 6 to 8 dates
It depends on the man. If he just wants sex the dates will become boring and you'll always get hints about sex... You will not be able to reach this number with a guy like this.. Usually f*ck boys pull away or fade away if they recognize you are girlfriend material.. Or even worse they'll play along because they are so selfish and immature that they ll play along until goal is reached.. I don't think the matter is the number but the quality time. Besides, someone could reach 8 dates in less than a month, while other may take 3 or more...so it's not objective.. Just try to get to know them and build the connection. And by the time sex comes you ll already have figure out the guy and kinda what he wants.
Lol girl same. I got up to 4😂💀
The number of dates don’t always need to be the line to go by. If he’s full of shit it could be 18 dates. Shit floats!
@@jacquelynlinn1505 true
@@jacquelynlinn1505 🤣🤣
I always like the bitter truth in your videos, they're so touching to the bones.
For us ladies who are at the 8th date mark and are ready to give the ultimatum, Can you do a video on HOW to give the ultimatum without sounding needy?
I just gave him an ultimatum a few minutes ago now wondering if I did the right thing.
I’m better off alone. He wants to watch everything I do but won’t claim me. Im over it
Wasted 2 years of my life with a guy who I wasn't "allowed" to follow on his SM.
(When it was a public account) I saw MANY female followers/following.
Long story short...2 years in I finally said, you post that I exist in your life or I'm done because my spidey sences were going wild.
He said no.
So there ya have it.
Access to me DENIED as of now.
i gave him an ultimatum few weeks later he said hes committed.. I confirmed a few weeks later he said theirs no getting rid of me your stuck with me... we will see where it goes
I love your harsh videos - keep giving us ladies a wake-up call. We need it 👍
Love the effort you put in. Your AMAZING. I can't give you enough compliments you just are the best on my saved channels. Have a great Xmas!
Thank you! Will do!
Thank you for the wake up call!!
He does always comeback when I ignore him but nothing ever advances.
Thanks for making this public.😁
No problem 😊
If you have to pull away to force a relationship what’s the point. It’s sad to think that a guys ultimate goal is to get his cake and eat it too most of the time. A quality guy wouldn’t want that, that he wouldn’t be so selfish. Yes, I will not lower standards, clearly men aren’t thinking about our feelings, and their goal is to take advantage, and be lazy. Thanks this is great insight into the shitty selfish nature of men, no wonder we are always getting hurt, we expect them to be operating as humans and not sociopaths, lol, our bad.
I always wonder where the selfishness began with my ex BF.
I watched this video, then went back to the video where you walked while talking to us (the first bnw video), let you give me a big brother reality slap from 4:19 of that video.. then clicked on membership.
Thank you for always telling the truth.
Thank you for your videos and pearls of wisdom!! I think we all need some of this tough love or harsh truth at one point or another. Personally, I respect tf out of it because it gives me REAL insight into what's actually going on as opposed to the fabricated version we so often try to feed ourselves.
Thanks again ❤
I used the ultimatum on my ex BF when he was entertaining a gal half his age, secretively, and not including me ever. He appeared to not want to lose me so he agreed to let her go, but 2 days later he waffled and told me he changed his mind bc he wasn't going to "throw away" his friends. I left, and he tried to get me back for years. I never responded to his emails bc he never addressed the issue. I wasn't going to jump back into that unresolved mess. I had already been through the ringer trying to be understood, and get him to understand how we needed more boundaries to protect our relationship.
Man Elliot- you are truly one of a kind.
Love it! Keep posting- where were you 15 years ago, when I needed you most?!?! Oh right, probably still in grade school or something 😂🤣😂🤣
Love this
Well done Elliott !! Love love love your more examples....Keep it going with examples of what and what not to do and we will definitely be at the top of your class!!! Bravo!!!
How do you do this while living with them? Or is moving out the only way to give them an ultimatum?
Don't move in until you get the ring. Date until you have the ring.
Wow! Now this video is 100% spot on Elliot! Thank you!
Glad you think so!
Thanks so much for the Clarity!!
Oh but I will!! I will let him go. I’ve got this!! Thank you for your honesty Elliot. Awesome.
“especially this week” 🤣🤣🤣
Dude you give the greatest fucking advice there is on the internet
So awesome Elliot. Thank you.
All facts .. Glad I finally left
I ended my whatever you want to call it yesterday. I talked him once already about him not communicating and he said he would work on it and hasn't. I brought it up again....nothing blocked and he gon have the nerve to tell me that he love me smh.
I love you . You are genius ♥️
I have given mines this last week.
If no compile bye bye 🤷🏽♀️
yes Sir :) following through :) with your GREAT CLEAR Direction Support DEAR HEART thank u and the others here in support with us all on the same Healthy Path :) taking care of ourseleves FIRST is the only way ouf they wont learn unless follow through no amount of yelling pleeding ever works...just like training a dog or a child your voice MUST HAVE POWER as u said BACK BONE is being Alone and knowing you are in your Value attractive with this being alone and back bone now your attracting...now your in self care self love and faith that they will come those who are meant for you they will leave that arent
Is this situation the same to older men? Like older than 40? Arround 50?
Yes, of course. Up to 100.
Yes it is unfortunately. Nothing changes.
I’ve got a 68 year old that doesn’t hold a candle to me doing the same thing because he is good looking and lots of women chasing him.We are ruining them and I’m done with this ass wipe after the 2nd time this year him telling me he doesn’t know what he wants but won’t break it off completely. I’m going to do it for him!
Elliott, HOW do we give the ultimatum? WHAT do we say?
I had to hear this
I just recently read women are proposing to the man!🤔mixed feelings on this one
Men know in 3 to 6 months if you're his wife...any exscuses are BS.
Yes. I agree . there has to be a mutual connection on the whole moving forward. It can be a commited relationship. I am realizing now that it doesn't even have to be about getting to the marriage vows. It's just two people that enjoy each other have fun and actually like being by each other's side.
@@angelicaangel2624 Very true. I like reading the replies. Definitely I was married for 18 yrs. It does no good if the two people can't get along. Getting along well is 90% the situation.
I’m scared if i gave him an ultimatum he will leave ….
Why Elliot? Bc he has a great girl in front of him. Why isnt that enough? What more do men want?
“He’s going to take advantage cuz there’s no reason not to” ... That sums it up ladies. Straight from the asses mouth to our brains. Yes, being a decent human is like number five on a guys list of priorities, clearly, lol.
I dipped and he texted me after 2 weeks yesterday how much he misses talking to me.
How are things going with him?
@@mariettaszabo definitely did not go good. I came back to him since he missed me and told me how he wants to be with me. He was good for like 4 days then he started to be distant. I told him this is not what I want and ended it period.
@@macaxox22 Thank you for answering! You did the right thing, even tho it must have been very hard! I hope you find someone awesome soon!
@@mariettaszabo yeah it was hard since I do love him. I deserve better and someone who will give me the attention I need.
You really do! I know that its hard, I am going through the same too..
Great now you have me thinking about the 28 year old. I think I'll have to cut him off when he return, he's not going to keep me if he moves, he has made that clear. But either way, I have zero intentions to do long distance if he did offer that. Texas and New Hampshire is quite the stretch. We've had 7 dates but when he returns we will be on week 9.
Damn right Elliot
haha I loved your video
Damn,you've got heartbroken fans from Kenya,Africa right here...😎
how do you give the ultimatum😭 I have no clue what to say
How do you know that your exclusive with him or he is “off the market” when he does not have social media ?
THANK your lucky stars he isn't a feminine man using social media.
What if he doesn't call in 4 weeks only texts once in a while besides knowing that I prefer call atleast every week. Mine is complicated ldr where he is seperated and i am married
I keep wondering what I'll do if he comes back around. Elliot?
if he comes back around and doesn't want a relationship right then and there, send me away.
@@ElliotScottDating yeah, thanks! If he would come back around that WOULD be the reason, I dipped with the invitation to call me if and when he's free and clear to be ready, and if I'm still available we'll talk, and he's respected that. But I'd need to be careful as if starting from scratch. Thanks for your teachings 💯
Elliot, I called him about a month after walking away and he didn’t answer or call me back. Did I lose my dignity really bad? I didn’t like how I felt after calling but my mom convinced me to try to call him. I wish I didn’t take the bad advice, but do you think it ruined the stand that I made to him when I walked away? Do you think it made him think I’m pathetic?
You can't change what you did.
Accept it, and don't ever do that again.
You've been in my dreams all night long
You’re the best !!!
2 months in. What about if he insinuated he was my bf a couple times over the last couple weeks and I playfully was like huh I didn’t realize I wasn’t single but he was like “im just playing” does he think I shut him down? He’s a shy person lol
Crazy American dating scene....
American only? No, this is happening everywhere in the civilized world. As long as women keep making things easy for guys they are going to take advantage of them.
@@irinacar yeah that's true because of hookup culture and lack of societal expectation/control.
In Poland it's the same
At least in Asia, you have family to tell you what to do. Men are also expected to marry here at some points.
@@listiyanischna why have Asian family to tell you what to do?? They don’t own you.. they can’t force you to marry it’s your life... That’s why all those Asian dramas are playing everywhere and forcing Asians into marriage and committing to have a so called “stable life” when Asians in general are following western culture and knowing Their true selves that you dont need a man or a woman to make you happy.. it’s finding yourself... the old traditions are fading away which is good. :-)
It’s a fking chicken 🐔 😂😂😂😂📝📚📚📚
No ultimatums. Pretend to be their gf and after they say no to a relationship twice, just cut them off cold.
Elliot, you keep saying that only women benefit from a relationship, and that guys just lose benefits. Men also get benefits from a relationship though. I know for a fact that many guys like having a girlfriend or wife because then they feel comfortable being vulnerable with them and opening up. Society pressures men to push their sadness and anxiety down, so they dont even open up to their closest guy friends. Meanwhile, women feel more acceptance talking to female friends about deep stuff. There are a lot of guys that want commitment with women, so they get the relationship benefits (ie. deep talks, thoughtful gifts, being taken care of when they're sick); not just the booty call benefits.
The point is, when you already give him the benefits of a girlfriend then there’s no reason for him to make you his girlfriend. If you see he just wants sex then just see him for that ten minutes then leave. If he wants more then he needs to work for that.
Like why buy the cow 🐄 when you can get the milk for free :-)
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 yes 99 percent of guys don’t want to put a label on it and just say we’re together... and they just use you to stroke their EGO cause they love that... and I see guys living with their girlfriends for 3-12 years and the girl friend is expecting the guy to put a ring on their finger... why would he want to ... every thing is free with the benefits with the housing the emotions the sex... forget the marriage it’s free benefit.. and if he’s wants to move on he can throw you away just like that... cause you were giving him the free benefits it’s not rocket science 🧪
@@51844mj marriage isn’t really part of our culture anymore anyway. It doesn’t prevent your wife or husband from leaving you, it only makes the breakup financially devastating. Being defactos removes the risk.
Maybe what you’re talking about is the case in cultures where marriage is still a thing but not so much in mine. Being just boyfriend and girlfriend means the woman can leave the man too. It’s better that marriage only happens if the two really really want it rather than use it to prevent loneliness. Ultimately you will be lonely if you get married to avoid loneliness.
Btw women aren’t cows. Given women do most of the choosing while men sell themselves as good mates, men are the cows being sold off to the women.
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 That goes both ways.... why would a women then want to be his official GF if she too is getting all the benefits of a relationship? In my opinion, it is selfish people who want their cake and eat it too, despite being male or female. And yes, with healthy people, both benefit from a committed relationship.
real shit!!!
Those unlike are the guys playing games or the delusional obsessed girls who still think the guy will be committed someday😂😂
Omg my story
Omg you did talk about me lol
😅 me after 11 months fml
“Should men get credit for not cheating?” What’s your take?
Elliot. What do you say about this situation. After 4 months of dating (no relationship) a guy tells me he doesn't want to be with anyone at the moment. Then I say "Ok, so it doesn't make sense to me, bye" and then HE CHANGES HIS MIND AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP with me. Is he bluffing?
Ive just done the same after four months of dating and no relationship! How long did it take for him to change his mind? 😀
@@ljhall1696 It took him 2 minutes. We were texting and he said that he didn't want a relationship because he's not in the right place in his job. I didn't try to convince him to change his mind, I texted: "Ok, so it doesn't make sense to me" . 2 minutes later he textex me back and asked me to be with him, then we met and he deleted his tinder and asked me to be with him. But I'm looking for a husband and I don't think that this man is in ready for commitment, he probably just likes me and wants to have a "temporary girlfriend"
Mine is similar- he said he is too stressed at work to deal with me stressing about wanting a relationship- not that i’ve outright bugged him, i just said he was acting uninterested
Have seen him 3 times a week (overnight) for four months
I walked away a week ago- what a waste of time 😩
Good luck to you
@@ljhall1696 There's no point in investing and working hard to be with a man. Thanks! Good luck!
I see a chicken 😂
Dont Lower Your Standard Bottom Line
🤙
Sorry I'm not going to pay 2 dollars to listen to how to find a man in 4 days its ridiculous for that reason cus I can't listen to it, even though U subscribe I'm unsubscribing thanks but no thanks ..
What do you mean
This doesn't work. I did this and lost the love of my life. I suffered alone for next 20 years. Instead l should have stuck on, and he would have married me and changed, as the next girl did, and he did for the next girl. I learned my lesson and after that l never again leave a man, I stick on until l become accepted by him. That's how men work. Men do not miss women. They only like to be forced and manipulated. They are grateful to such women.
You believe that but he would’ve kept treating you like shit your whole life. You made the right choice.
Glad you left him
@@Amateur_Pianist_472 it would have given me more happiness to be with him and treated badly than without him and treated badly.
By giving ultimatum and leaving, I hurt myself stupidly, and stayed alone for next twenty years from the trauma. That decision cost me my life. I know so much better now, never ever leave like that when you are in love. Stick on to him, and only leave when you like another guy more.
After him, l stuck on to men until I'm done with them. Never experienced grief again. Never ever leave a man you love thinking he will miss you. He won't. Keep him as long as you need to. Scope other men. Only leave after you've fallen for another man.
@@51844mj no l made the wrong decision because I was young and naive. The right thing is to stay with the guy, as long as you can, manipulate him and keep him attached. Especially if you want marriage , because men appreciate clingyness. But even if you don't want marriage, keep him as long as you can, only leave him when you fall for someone else, usually they will themselves realize they lost you. That is when men truly hurt, and actually respect you. But yeah it takes skill to do that
@@ashsqx3246 that’s terrible that you have that mindset. You really needed to get out more and have hobbies. If he treated you badly and was ok with you leaving then he didn’t love you back. You probably need counselling.
OMG TRUTH !!!!! I love your perspective
Question: what if we had the conversation of “where is this going” and he said just give me a little more time and be just a little more patient with me. I said “ok. But I won’t be patient much longer.” Then nothing changed. And now I gave him the ultimatum and he claimed he was “confused. Wants me but not ready for another relationship right now. But doesn’t want to lose me.” So I said “I’m done.” And I walked away. And I haven’t talked to him since. That was just yesterday. Was I stupid for negotiating the first time? And will he take me seriously this time? Or miss me?