I figured out there was this cycle going on internally for me growing up, where I would feel shame, then counteract it with a kind of narcissistic pride, and then I would realise I was thinking that way and feel shame for the pride. I didn’t know I had ADHD. And now, being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, just seeing this video, it’s pretty cool. I don’t really have this defense mechanism so much anymore as I worked hard on trying to see myself more logically and less in comparison to others. However, there was shame in having this mechanism in the first place, and there is still work to be done regarding shame relating to ADHD. I’m really grateful for content like this, thank you 👏
Your comment helped me get insight about myself as this is exactly what I'm going through right now and I'm in stage 3 - feeling ashamed for the pride. I just wanna know what was your age when this happened and you realized? Thank you!
Thank you summing this up in retrospect to your own life. I was struggling a lot and panicking a bit thinking I was a narcissist, but in reality I was complicating for my insecurities that are attributed and connected to my ADHD. Seeing someone say this in retrospect and say they made progress away from these tendencies makes me feel alot better and secure about myself and my progress into later adulthood.
@@sreejamalka2863 hi, sorry for the late reply. I'm glad my comment helped. I hope you get there soon, in seeing yourself with more realism: faults and strengths are true for us all
@@branfu0775 no worries, I believe in you! I'm glad that through sharing I could help. We just have to work through that shame, and be realistic and loving and accepting towards ourselves. Easier said than done but the journey getting there has been worth it so far!
Fifteen years into my relationship, I figured out that my partner has ADHD. But it took another 10 years before I finally understood that his incredible defensiveness, among other very problematic behaviors, reflects serious narcissism. When he doesn’t get his way, he’ll do things I wouldn’t have expected from anyone supposedly close to me, like trying to control finances, changing passwords, even invalidating almost everything I’ve ever done…like our quarter century together means nothing to him. His capacity to justify vindictive actions seems almost limitless. But at least now I know.
There is such a thing as having narsissistic traits without actually being a narcissist. Most people, if not all, have at least one of the tendancies but are not actually narcissists. Maybe ADHDers like myself do have shame and defensive tendencies. That's true, i think. But, if i am understanding the videos I've watched, a true narsissist would not admit to any of it or be able to examine themselves honestly.
Not only do all people have some narcissistic traits, but also many traits are shared between disorders anyways. For example, ARFID, anorexia nervosa, and OCD may ALL present with extremely restrictive eating. However, they’re not the same disorders. Even in physical illnesses you see this. A heart attack, asthma, and anaphylaxis may all present with difficulty breathing. But they’re different anyways.
I have ADHD and I've had narcisstic behaviors and low self-eestem simultonuesly. People with these problems have to be patient with it and work to deal with it because this can be harmful to ourselves.
i have been dealing with this for 16 years, except as the victim. being patient through verbal abuse, gaslighting, and psychological abuse... is a dead end. abuse is abuse regardless of who has what.
Yup. Me too. Makes a lot of sense now. So much of my issues stem from adhd because I've never fit into anything else but I definitely have the combined type of adhd
@@HugoStiglitz88 At least you admited to have it but other ones loke my chikdren' s Dad , do not want to accept and look for treatmebt. He is very very bad
This is really interesting concept. Observing my older sibling with a cognitive impairment, ADHD, and OCD, I've seen many judge some of his actions one way, when over time I've seen it as a result of overcompensation. There is his personality/intention, his condition, and how he's compensated from other's reaction to him. It's complex to parse out as a one time bystander, but an overlooked perspective for treating the mental health of those that are neurodivergent. This further marginalizes people with diagnoses.
I suspect that in some cases, narcissism is strongly related to ADHD's nasty cousins Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD), both of which can look an awful lot like narcissim.
dating someone possibly with ADHD and refuse treatment, he is highly successful with hyperfocus and hyper physicalsensitivity. i try to show sympathy and support, but but he is completely unbearable because of the narcissism, constantly humiliating and insulting me for no reason at all.
Thank you for this video. I am a daughter of a NPD mother and I've been dating by boyfriend for over 8 years. He clearly has ADHD but has only more recently agreed with my theory. I've felt like he's also demonstrated NPD behaviors because he often refutes my feelings and reality. I started to panic because I feel like I am being gaslighted by him, and have told him such. This has come up especially in regard to his interactions with other women.
I agree, get out. It's not a healthy relationship. Work on yourself and the reasons you have accepted this type of relationship for 8 years. Have compassion for him from a distance. You won't regret getting out, but there is a very good chance you will regret staying any longer.
I have adhd I know when I have hormones issues especially like an ovarian cysts. I can be quite narcissistic and have anger issues. But I am highly sensitive and can be empathetic. But sometimes I loose my cool and overreact and get angry. But feel bad about it. Since I have read up on arrogance and narcissism. I dont take take it personally and over react anymore if people are inconsiderate because they are just not thinking about people's feelings. I have learned its best to be polite and classy to avoid and criticism. People these days are less respectful and sympathetic and will happily make a fool out of people if you let them. If people show disrespect they lack respect. We will be less stressed if we care less. Ignore drama and we will feel calmer. Be tough life is rough
There's some interesting research about how polycystic ovary syndrome can produce some of the traits associated with personality disorders, notably borderline personality disorder, which can look a lot like what you have just described.
@@jordanbetts1572I heard clinical psychologists on TH-cam say that it's a defense mechanism that arises from childhood trauma. To cope with the toxic relationships in an unhealthy environment as a child.
Wow. This is amazing. I'm wondering if the rejection sensitive dysphoria that's found in people with ADHD is actually just the narcissistic defence mechanism. Can anyone point me in the right direction of any other information on the relationship of ADHD and Narcissism?
Thank you. When u said shame it became clear as day. Thank you I've never heard of the two together always thought shame was just apart of the ADHD struggle
My father and my brother both have ADHD. My father also tends to show narcissist traits. He can't deal with any failures and it's always someone else's fault. I've started to see similar traits with my brother. I love both of them a lot, but this behavior really hurts me and I don't know what to do about it...
Hello, and thank you Dr. For taking the time to share this video, not to mention all the time you put in to helping others. I have ADHD, and it has had a profound impact on my life. Unfortunately, I have to say the impact has been more negative than positive. What's shocking and depressing about it is the fact that it isn't so much that the symptoms of the disorder have gotten in the way, it has been living within the nightmares of: double standards of peoples expectations- including people who dont believe ADHD is "real", various people who are "ignorant while in charge" , very poor "parenting", and a covert, but horribly abusive "family", structure, as well as, and sorry, but its true, I have some real issues with past therapists, as well as pretty much the entire psychiatric field and even some with the psychology community. Lol. I laugh, but.....It's true, I do. And I don't know why I laughed because all the extra shit I had to do, or didn't get to do cuz of punishment, all the meds I had to take , and re-take over and over again, each time I switched therapists ( no, I ain't no Dr shopper) even when I'd tell them " that didn't do shit, except make me feel like a zombie, and/ or give me some sort of " oily discharge", they would still insist I retake it with them so they could monitor and draw their own conclusion.... And each time it would take at least 3 months of a commitment to a new med. Ugghh. Anyway it's not what I was even going to write about! I did want to chime in about a brief video topic of possible link between ADHD and narcissism. It's kind of a coincidence because I was unfortunately married to a narcissist and she and I were divorced about 3 years ago. and it was and still is a nightmare. TRULY A NIGHTMARE. Like most people I had heard people describing " whoever" as being a "narcissist", which, to me, up until fairly recently, basically meant That person was very "full of themselves". And ages ago, i read the Greek legend or "myth" of Narcissus himself, but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge, of "everything narcissist". Boy, was I ever naieve!! It's so sad, because I could have done something had I known just how serious of a condition, and just how dangerous, and dreadfully serious, and possibly deadly this disorder can be. I could go on and on about all this stuff for a very long time, but I've babbled a lot, so I'm going to wrap it up ... But I have paid close attention and I have made sense, and connected the dots, throughout the course of my lifetime so far, and I've learned quite a bit so please feel free to ask me anything. I would however, like to ask the good doctor for a bit of clarification before I close. Doctor, it's really quite a "coincidence wit a twist" if you will, I mean, my finding your video in the first place is. It's a coincidence because, in the last 3 or 4 years I've met probably a dozen people with ADHD that I come in contact with regularly or semi-regularly, and I'd say that probably 9 of that 12, are EMPATHS. And so I found your video returned after posing the query " is there a link between ADHD and empathic people" ..... Obviously the twist being that a narcissist is pretty much the polar opposite of an empath. I'm aware that doctors and therapists, may use some restraint, when tempted to use the word "narcissist" to describe their patients. And that could be just to be polite and/or not want to risk losing that person as a patient, but isn't it also true that narcissism (as well as clusters a through c I think?) Isn't recognized in the DSM, as a "true mental illness diagnosis". Shoot I'm not sure if ADHD is either for that matter? Aren't they all "conditions" ? And isn't this because an illness implies a cure is possible, and there is none for narcissism nor ADHD. Also I don't mean to be patronizing not even a little bit I promise, but I would like to know how you think and feel about "Empathy", as it relates to your video topic here "A possible link between ADHD and narcissism" For those who aren't aware, I asked this question because one of the hallmark traits of a narcissist( as defined, and discussed in the mental health world) , is that a narcissist is flat out uncapable and unable of truly feeling empathy. Please correct me if I'm wrong but I think that is a All or nothing trait for a narcissist. I know that we can all present as narcissistic, from time to time, and in varying degrees... We all do, but to be a true Machiavellian narcissist I think you have to be devoid of ability for empathy. Thanks.
might be too late to ask xd, but how did you deal with this adhd and narcissism combo? Like, both conditions make it harder to have a meaningful relationship and work on the conditions themselves. Adhd makes me procrastinate and these few narcissitic traits make forget/avoid/not care about the issues
I appreciate your viewpoint but your perspective does not explain the Love Bombing and intention to manipulate with intention to take advantage of? I can see the rage reaction of Narcissist be reaction to shame but that is a small part of the symptoms of Narcissist. Can you elaborate on that?
Thanks for the insight. Indeed, the subject is highly underreported. It would be nice to have a more in depth video discussing this intricate relationship. I'm subscribing to the channel!
Oh boy, I am not here to feel sorry for narcissists. I believe I'm AuDHD, and I have narc traits because I was raised by narcs. The difference is that I deeply care about people and can admit my mistakes. I'm not going to waste time analyzing what tragedies narcs may or may not have experienced, especially when narcs have done so much to wreck my life. I have family members who might actually be criminals. I hope they do feel shame. Not sorry. If you're a narc feeling shame about your label, be better. If you treat people well, no one will think you're a narc. See?
I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I have just divorced a man who was an alcoholic and in my opinion, suffers from NPD. That relationship forced me to learn about both alcoholism and NPD. Now, I'm wondering if I have some of the same problems of narcissism. If one of the primary components of narcissism is lack of empathy, then I don't think that fits me.
@kristineChristileb If you are worried about being a narcissist you are most likely not 1 hah. A true narcissist would never even consider the fact at all that they themselves could be a narcissist, they think they are gods gift to the world. 🙄🙄
@@ezogh3826 I lived with a clinical psychologist as a roommate for a few years, so take this for what it's worth. Narcissism (as a label) isn't really about whether one resists questioning whether one could be one or not-- that isn't important. It really is down to selfishness (grandiosity, entitlement) and excessively defending against shame *at all costs*. Regardless of type, the experience clinicians have-- and other people, for that matter-- with narcissists is that *any time they feel there is a breakthrough i.e. they're finally "getting somewhere," soon they are back to where they started, like NOTHING ever happened.* They liken it to the tide coming in and washing away any progress, any 'development.' One other near-universal with narcissists is that telling them (emphatically) something makes them look bad will send them through the roof.
When my mind is sharper and I think more clearly (from taking Adderall)and develop more awareness and express myself more to the two most verbally abusive people in my life it also opens the door for those two to argue more and fight back against me. My ADHD is a wall I put up to deal with narcissism from others and with that said, best to get off the Adderall!
I came across your video. Watching this three minute video has pieced together exactly what has happened to a loved one of mine. Life changing. Thank you!
Your written article advises to open up to the person with narcissism/adhd to help them in turn open up, but if the family member is manipulative and exploitive in their narcissism then that’s dangerous advice.
I think its mainly a job for a therapist, you can do it but i think it would be effective for a therapist to effectively implement. It is harder when its family theres way more to deal with and factor in. Its difficult because no one in the family is good for the most part everyone is gonna affected possibly including you.
I totally agree. I light a dull room whenever I enter. ADHD is completely opposite to Narsasists. Narsasists seek ADHD to manipulate, we are energy for them.
This makes so much sense cause I fit almost every symptom & description of both vulnerable grandiose narcism except the worst ones like lacking empathy & another one I forgot
I see narcissism as someone who can’t tell the truth to save their life and also likes to play games that hurt other ppl that bolsters themselves they lie cheat and steal smear project try to control and suck the life out of ppl….. but that’s just my experience with them
I suffer from ADHD and is addicted to the toxicity of dating people with narcissistic personalities. Something in them draws me and their lovebombing feeds my want for dopamine. I believe my Adhd made me immune to their manipulation since I often lose interest when their lovebombing ends. I often question myself if I am a narcissist or is it the Adhd or maybe sociopathy? I don't enjoy being cruel to anyone and have empatyy tho lately I feel numb after being taken disadvantaged of people I trusted.
This makes sense. I've never felt like a narcissist when ive looked at the definition and traits but I have caught some narcissistic behaviors and I think its linked to adhd. My adhd sometimes makes me talk about anything I can, and especially things I know a lot about. We all know a lot about ourselves. I'm just glad to be more aware of it And I definitely think you're right about Trump. There's no way that man doesn't have severe adhd lol
Everyone has narcissistic traits. Psychologists would say all humans carry traits from personality disorders but don't have a personality disorder. There is a healthy level of narcissism. The problem is people throw the word narcissist around when actually if soneone is a true narcissist they will be NPD. Big difference between having traits or a personality disorder. So many people are wrongly labled. Look at borderline PD. Medical professionals want to put everyone in a box. We all have traits. No one likes rejection. That's normal human nature doesn't mean someone who struggles with rejection and regulating emotions has BPD. Again too many people misdiagnosed.
Omg all Presidents are narrasitic. We all are narrasitic but where we fall on the spectrum of healthy vs unhealthy. Also borderline personality disorder gets same stigma as narrasitic personality disorder. Change the name isn't good to help anyone, if it's a spade call it a spade. All behaviors are unhealthy coping strategies, but honestly it boils down to 3 ypes of people. Those who have awareness and willing to get uncomfortable and hurt in order to get help.. Those people who have 0 awareness, until someone brings awareness their way. They will deny their behavior and choose to not do anything about it but bitch about how miserable they are all the time And third those people who have awareness that they do these things but don't care , don't think they need therapy bc they are just who the are and nothing to changes. They then project their BS onto the 1st type or persons. This holds true to any behavior mental illness. Not talking about disorders bc of chemical imbalance. So I disagree a NPD need to be called what it is , a BPD needs to be called out on what it is. The decades of coddling and zero accountability. Narracist personality disorder is a epidemic and people need to hear that word and learn the traits bc the ones stuck in a intimate relationship with them are being emotionally and mentally abused.
This video was okay then it veered into politics and was like wtf, how can you tell Donal Trump is a narcissist? All egocentrism is not narcissism. I do not think you are very good at understanding concepts and i am concerned for those under your care
Gays also seem to suffer a lot from narcissism. Seems like anything deviating from the standard or norm has the possibility of developing into narcissism…. Some would argue that narcissism is a positive adaptation in our modern world.
I think there is a parallel in the hedonism of ADHD and Narcissism. I think they attract and feed on each other as one is giving off energy and the other feeds on energy. Both are hedonistic. And both are 'unreal' constructs in some way. Not really 'human' somehow lacking in empathy [the ADHD accidentally by being overwhelmed]. The one inside the other is interesting here and would not surprise me. ; ) K
Looking to get someone professional help from someone very skilled in the disorders mentioned as well as anger, mood and paranoia that can come and go with The minutes in a day or a certain word or a drop of a dime. It is not easy to find a skilled professional to help diagnose and treat these issues just by looking on the Internet. Does anyone have any ideas or sources where I can find help in my area of Massachusetts?
Find any therapist and set up a consultation tell them your worried about being a narcissist or just having the traits. Its nerve wracking to find out if somethings wrong with you i get it but you'll be okay just try to remember that its gonna get better but its gonna be work you can't just show up and expect things to happen you need to put in the effort
Yeah! I will implement this into my life, and whoops there goes my ADHD. It’s not like one though is gonna make my condition go away. Understanding is one thing, and then doing is another. It takes years of work and years of therapy to get to a point, that I barely can accept my impulse behavior at times. It’s very simplified and I don’t find it accurate. Covering up your ignorance doesn’t make you a narcissist. A narcissist is made by abuse in the early childhood. Not by ADHD. Although ADHD can be linked to childhood trauma though.
what do you do when you cant feed there ego any longer ,one cause everything you say is rubbed off as nothing ,, not because they dont matter but cause they dont care and want to talk more about themselfe,,,, but you mean well for them and your own well being cause if you cant keep stroking that ego they turn on you ?and they will if you dont serve a purpose , they will burn you asap ,,, any chance \what the fuck can you do ?
Yeah ok couple things. Never say someone is obviously whatever with zero clinical evaluation. That’s just crappy lazy bad professionalism. Not to mention a violation of your own ethics..Second, narcissist are the invisible punching bag resolution these days for a ton of people who statistically have never actually encountered a real narcissist…
You lost me at slandering Trump in your "analysis". Trump haters always find a way to drag him into their narrative, and most of America is SICK OF IT. Shame on you. If one wants a more comprehensive analysis of anything narcissistic, check out Doctor Ramini instead.
so what if he is "textbook NPD". They have their place in this world, as do sociopaths and even psychopaths who do jobs the rest of us can't stomach. Trump's 4 years in office resulted in a booming economy, secure borders, and peace in the middle east. Regardless of his 'motives', America was in a very good place under his administration. America was respected under his lead, maybe because he was an NPD and didn't care what others thought. Think a little deeper.
Dr. Ramani isn't npd, she's actually probably ADHD if anything. Not inattentive type she seems more hyperactive type which is rare as an adult. Trump, is definitely on cluster b, you're definitely in a cult btw. "maga".
There's a distinction that's being made between those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and those with ADHD who perform in narcissistic ways. Both NPD and ADHD are born into. There was no claim made about those with NPD. ADHD is a very different fish though. I have ADHD but have a lot of questions and this short video answered many of them because this seems to be a rarely talked about phenomena. I was raised by a narcissist and married to a narcissist for 20 years. I went untreated for ADHD until I was 46 - this year (yes, I came up snake eyes in the game of life. Yay me). I don't have NPD but, boy oh boy, are those symptoms part of my situation? Better believe it. I hope that helps? It's a fair question (it's a confusing thing because, again, it's rarely talked about. As he mentioned at the top; the terminology could use some fine tuning). I will say that I'm baffled as to why this would put his professionalism into question. Gonna be straight with ya, that bit seemed unhelpful and not a little bit rude.
Absolutely everyone is a narcissist.. you’re in denial if you think you’re not. If you have an ego and a healthy self esteem then there’s a little narcissism within u
There's a difference in having "a little narcissism in you" and being on the cluster b spectrum. Big difference. It's like saying everyone who's told a lie is a narcissist. Educate yourself more on the subject there are people who literally can't stop lying, or gaslighting people, or mirroring people they are jealous of or envy so they get in a relationship with them by love bombing and mirroring, the start devaluing. What you said is literally like saying "everyone is a little psychopath" which is aspd which is under the same cluster as npd, no everyone isn't.
I figured out there was this cycle going on internally for me growing up, where I would feel shame, then counteract it with a kind of narcissistic pride, and then I would realise I was thinking that way and feel shame for the pride. I didn’t know I had ADHD. And now, being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, just seeing this video, it’s pretty cool. I don’t really have this defense mechanism so much anymore as I worked hard on trying to see myself more logically and less in comparison to others. However, there was shame in having this mechanism in the first place, and there is still work to be done regarding shame relating to ADHD. I’m really grateful for content like this, thank you 👏
Your comment helped me get insight about myself as this is exactly what I'm going through right now and I'm in stage 3 - feeling ashamed for the pride. I just wanna know what was your age when this happened and you realized? Thank you!
Thank you summing this up in retrospect to your own life. I was struggling a lot and panicking a bit thinking I was a narcissist, but in reality I was complicating for my insecurities that are attributed and connected to my ADHD. Seeing someone say this in retrospect and say they made progress away from these tendencies makes me feel alot better and secure about myself and my progress into later adulthood.
Compensating*
@@sreejamalka2863 hi, sorry for the late reply. I'm glad my comment helped. I hope you get there soon, in seeing yourself with more realism: faults and strengths are true for us all
@@branfu0775 no worries, I believe in you! I'm glad that through sharing I could help. We just have to work through that shame, and be realistic and loving and accepting towards ourselves. Easier said than done but the journey getting there has been worth it so far!
Fifteen years into my relationship, I figured out that my partner has ADHD. But it took another 10 years before I finally understood that his incredible defensiveness, among other very problematic behaviors, reflects serious narcissism. When he doesn’t get his way, he’ll do things I wouldn’t have expected from anyone supposedly close to me, like trying to control finances, changing passwords, even invalidating almost everything I’ve ever done…like our quarter century together means nothing to him. His capacity to justify vindictive actions seems almost limitless.
But at least now I know.
Wow! Going through something similar. Sending hugs
@@ramadsubash4313
Right back atcha.
Lucky guy to have a loyal woman by his side
There is such a thing as having narsissistic traits without actually being a narcissist. Most people, if not all, have at least one of the tendancies but are not actually narcissists. Maybe ADHDers like myself do have shame and defensive tendencies. That's true, i think. But, if i am understanding the videos I've watched, a true narsissist would not admit to any of it or be able to examine themselves honestly.
Not only do all people have some narcissistic traits, but also many traits are shared between disorders anyways.
For example, ARFID, anorexia nervosa, and OCD may ALL present with extremely restrictive eating. However, they’re not the same disorders.
Even in physical illnesses you see this. A heart attack, asthma, and anaphylaxis may all present with difficulty breathing. But they’re different anyways.
I have ADHD and I've had narcisstic behaviors and low self-eestem simultonuesly. People with these problems have to be patient with it and work to deal with it because this can be harmful to ourselves.
i have been dealing with this for 16 years, except as the victim. being patient through verbal abuse, gaslighting, and psychological abuse... is a dead end. abuse is abuse regardless of who has what.
Low self esteem is often a part of covert/vulnerable/ fragile narcissistic traits.
To yourself? I think could be harmful to other ones...
Yup. Me too. Makes a lot of sense now. So much of my issues stem from adhd because I've never fit into anything else but I definitely have the combined type of adhd
@@HugoStiglitz88 At least you admited to have it but other ones loke my chikdren' s Dad , do not want to accept and look for treatmebt. He is very very bad
This is really interesting concept. Observing my older sibling with a cognitive impairment, ADHD, and OCD, I've seen many judge some of his actions one way, when over time I've seen it as a result of overcompensation. There is his personality/intention, his condition, and how he's compensated from other's reaction to him. It's complex to parse out as a one time bystander, but an overlooked perspective for treating the mental health of those that are neurodivergent. This further marginalizes people with diagnoses.
I suspect that in some cases, narcissism is strongly related to ADHD's nasty cousins Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Conduct Disorder (CD), both of which can look an awful lot like narcissim.
CD is more closely related to ASPD (sociopathy/psychopathy) than NPD actually.
dating someone possibly with ADHD and refuse treatment, he is highly successful with hyperfocus and hyper physicalsensitivity. i try to show sympathy and support, but but he is completely unbearable because of the narcissism, constantly humiliating and insulting me for no reason at all.
My husband is the same , i still analysing is it adhd or narcissism.
I hope you left. Don’t waste years that you can’t get back as some of us have. Good luck
Run! 🙏🏼
If he doesn't want to change, break up.
That’s toxic break up with him if u haven’t already, it’s not your job to ‘fix’ ppl or tolerate being treated like a piece of shit, respectfully🥴
Finally, somebody said it! Thank you!
Thank you for this video. I am a daughter of a NPD mother and I've been dating by boyfriend for over 8 years. He clearly has ADHD but has only more recently agreed with my theory. I've felt like he's also demonstrated NPD behaviors because he often refutes my feelings and reality. I started to panic because I feel like I am being gaslighted by him, and have told him such. This has come up especially in regard to his interactions with other women.
Get out. He believes he’s above you. Disgusting partners always triangulating and twisting reality 🧡
I agree, get out. It's not a healthy relationship. Work on yourself and the reasons you have accepted this type of relationship for 8 years. Have compassion for him from a distance. You won't regret getting out, but there is a very good chance you will regret staying any longer.
Run.
As a person who suffers from ADHD, we are more susceptible to narcissists. The love bombing. We are so susceptible due to our low self-esteem.
Very true I had to move away from a friend like this.
Or codependents
Psychologists have more empathy than I ever will. I believe that people who severly mistreat others deserve to be shamed.
The cycle continues with that sort of action
I have adhd I know when I have hormones issues especially like an ovarian cysts. I can be quite narcissistic and have anger issues. But I am highly sensitive and can be empathetic. But sometimes I loose my cool and overreact and get angry. But feel bad about it. Since I have read up on arrogance and narcissism. I dont take take it personally and over react anymore if people are inconsiderate because they are just not thinking about people's feelings. I have learned its best to be polite and classy to avoid and criticism. People these days are less respectful and sympathetic and will happily make a fool out of people if you let them. If people show disrespect they lack respect. We will be less stressed if we care less. Ignore drama and we will feel calmer. Be tough life is rough
Well anger isn’t narcissism. And emotional disregulation/anger is a ADHD trait
There's some interesting research about how polycystic ovary syndrome can produce some of the traits associated with personality disorders, notably borderline personality disorder, which can look a lot like what you have just described.
Narcissism is usually a coping mechanism for one’s self esteem who has ADHD I feel like
narcissism is a permanent personality disorder. how can that be equated to a coping mechanism?
not trying to be combative, curious about what you mean bc I have never heard this
Dont agree with this not true
@@jordanbetts1572I heard clinical psychologists on TH-cam say that it's a defense mechanism that arises from childhood trauma. To cope with the toxic relationships in an unhealthy environment as a child.
@@leahv.2537 Yes, but because it happens during early development stages, it is embedded in their way of relating to the world.
Wow. This is amazing. I'm wondering if the rejection sensitive dysphoria that's found in people with ADHD is actually just the narcissistic defence mechanism. Can anyone point me in the right direction of any other information on the relationship of ADHD and Narcissism?
Could you do a video on the difference between rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and narcissism
What about rejection sensitivity disorder?
Thank you. When u said shame it became clear as day. Thank you I've never heard of the two together always thought shame was just apart of the ADHD struggle
My father and my brother both have ADHD. My father also tends to show narcissist traits. He can't deal with any failures and it's always someone else's fault. I've started to see similar traits with my brother.
I love both of them a lot, but this behavior really hurts me and I don't know what to do about it...
help them support them
@@zayraroa I'm struggling mentally from growing up with both of them. I can't help very much myself as I'm struggling with anxiety and depression...
What about ADD and covert narcissism?
I love your descriptive diagnosis terms. Because it offers hope for change if folks don’t have to feel so robotically broken.
Hello, and thank you Dr. For taking the time to share this video, not to mention all the time you put in to helping others.
I have ADHD, and it has had a profound impact on my life. Unfortunately, I have to say the impact has been more negative than positive. What's shocking and depressing about it is the fact that it isn't so much that the symptoms of the disorder have gotten in the way, it has been living within the nightmares of:
double standards of peoples expectations- including people who dont believe ADHD is "real", various people who are "ignorant while in charge" , very poor "parenting", and a covert, but horribly abusive "family", structure, as well as, and sorry, but its true, I have some real issues with past therapists, as well as pretty much the entire psychiatric field and even some with the psychology community. Lol.
I laugh, but.....It's true, I do. And I don't know why I laughed because all the extra shit I had to do, or didn't get to do cuz of punishment, all the meds I had to take , and re-take over and over again, each time I switched therapists ( no, I ain't no Dr shopper) even when I'd tell them
" that didn't do shit, except make me feel like a zombie, and/ or give me some sort of " oily discharge", they would still insist I retake it with them so they could monitor and draw their own conclusion.... And each time it would take at least 3 months of a commitment to a new med. Ugghh.
Anyway it's not what I was even going to write about!
I did want to chime in about a brief video topic of possible link between ADHD and narcissism.
It's kind of a coincidence because I was unfortunately married to a narcissist and she and I were divorced about 3 years ago. and it was and still is a nightmare.
TRULY A NIGHTMARE.
Like most people I had heard people describing " whoever" as being a "narcissist", which, to me, up until fairly recently, basically meant That person was very "full of themselves". And ages ago, i read the Greek legend or "myth" of Narcissus himself, but that was pretty much the extent of my knowledge, of "everything narcissist". Boy, was I ever naieve!!
It's so sad, because I could have done something had I known just how serious of a condition, and just how dangerous, and dreadfully serious, and possibly deadly this disorder can be.
I could go on and on about all this stuff for a very long time, but I've babbled a lot, so I'm going to wrap it up ... But I have paid close attention and I have made sense, and connected the dots, throughout the course of my lifetime so far, and I've learned quite a bit so please feel free to ask me anything.
I would however, like to ask the good doctor for a bit of clarification before I close.
Doctor, it's really quite a "coincidence wit a twist" if you will, I mean, my finding your video in the first place is. It's a coincidence because, in the last 3 or 4 years I've met probably a dozen people with ADHD that I come in contact with regularly or semi-regularly, and I'd say that probably 9 of that 12, are EMPATHS. And so I found your video returned after posing the query " is there a link between ADHD and empathic people" ..... Obviously the twist being that a narcissist is pretty much the polar opposite of an empath.
I'm aware that doctors and therapists, may use some restraint, when tempted to use the word "narcissist" to describe their patients. And that could be just to be polite and/or not want to risk losing that person as a patient, but isn't it also true that narcissism (as well as clusters a through c
I think?) Isn't recognized in the DSM, as a "true mental illness diagnosis". Shoot I'm not sure if ADHD is either for that matter?
Aren't they all "conditions" ?
And isn't this because an illness implies a cure is possible, and there is none for narcissism nor ADHD.
Also I don't mean to be patronizing not even a little bit I promise, but I would like to know how you think and feel about "Empathy", as it relates to your video topic here "A possible link between ADHD and narcissism"
For those who aren't aware, I asked this question because one of the hallmark traits of a narcissist( as defined, and discussed in the mental health world) , is that a narcissist is flat out uncapable and unable of truly feeling empathy. Please correct me if I'm wrong but I think that is a All or nothing trait for a narcissist. I know that we can all present as narcissistic, from time to time, and in varying degrees... We all do, but to be a true Machiavellian narcissist I think you have to be devoid of ability for empathy.
Thanks.
might be too late to ask xd, but how did you deal with this adhd and narcissism combo?
Like, both conditions make it harder to have a meaningful relationship and work on the conditions themselves.
Adhd makes me procrastinate and these few narcissitic traits make forget/avoid/not care about the issues
I am a special education teacher for high school students and I totally agree with you!!! I am saying that topic for many years!
I have been working with ADHD adults and often wondered if there was any overlapping with narcissistic traits😅
I appreciate your viewpoint but your perspective does not explain the Love Bombing and intention to manipulate with intention to take advantage of? I can see the rage reaction of Narcissist be reaction to shame but that is a small part of the symptoms of Narcissist. Can you elaborate on that?
Thanks for the insight. Indeed, the subject is highly underreported. It would be nice to have a more in depth video discussing this intricate relationship. I'm subscribing to the channel!
Oh boy, I am not here to feel sorry for narcissists. I believe I'm AuDHD, and I have narc traits because I was raised by narcs. The difference is that I deeply care about people and can admit my mistakes. I'm not going to waste time analyzing what tragedies narcs may or may not have experienced, especially when narcs have done so much to wreck my life. I have family members who might actually be criminals. I hope they do feel shame. Not sorry. If you're a narc feeling shame about your label, be better. If you treat people well, no one will think you're a narc. See?
Just got out of a relationship where he had ADHD and narc behaviours he got violent I refuse to make up excuses for his s*it behaviour
Really amazing, never thought about this
I have been diagnosed with ADHD. I have just divorced a man who was an alcoholic and in my opinion, suffers from NPD. That relationship forced me to learn about both alcoholism and NPD. Now, I'm wondering if I have some of the same problems of narcissism. If one of the primary components of narcissism is lack of empathy, then I don't think that fits me.
@kristineChristileb If you are worried about being a narcissist you are most likely not 1 hah. A true narcissist would never even consider the fact at all that they themselves could be a narcissist, they think they are gods gift to the world. 🙄🙄
@@trembling3674 congrats on quitting! I hope you are doing better and aren’t feeling shameful for your past (or are on your way there) xx
I think if you are questioning, yeah it’s unlikely. I wish you compassion for urself and I congratulate u for being able to divorce them xx
@@Joebeenjaminv Unfortunately this is not the case for vulnerable narcissists.
@@ezogh3826 I lived with a clinical psychologist as a roommate for a few years, so take this for what it's worth.
Narcissism (as a label) isn't really about whether one resists questioning whether one could be one or not-- that isn't important. It really is down to selfishness (grandiosity, entitlement) and excessively defending against shame *at all costs*.
Regardless of type, the experience clinicians have-- and other people, for that matter-- with narcissists is that *any time they feel there is a breakthrough i.e. they're finally "getting somewhere," soon they are back to where they started, like NOTHING ever happened.* They liken it to the tide coming in and washing away any progress, any 'development.'
One other near-universal with narcissists is that telling them (emphatically) something makes them look bad will send them through the roof.
When my mind is sharper and I think more clearly (from taking Adderall)and develop more awareness and express myself more to the two most verbally abusive people in my life it also opens the door for those two to argue more and fight back against me. My ADHD is a wall I put up to deal with narcissism from others and with that said, best to get off the Adderall!
I came across your video. Watching this three minute video has pieced together exactly what has happened to a loved one of mine. Life changing. Thank you!
Your written article advises to open up to the person with narcissism/adhd to help them in turn open up, but if the family member is manipulative and exploitive in their narcissism then that’s dangerous advice.
I think its mainly a job for a therapist, you can do it but i think it would be effective for a therapist to effectively implement. It is harder when its family theres way more to deal with and factor in. Its difficult because no one in the family is good for the most part everyone is gonna affected possibly including you.
ADHD peepz have the most humility of em all. Thats why they’re so… humorous!!
I totally agree. I light a dull room whenever I enter.
ADHD is completely opposite to Narsasists.
Narsasists seek ADHD to manipulate, we are energy for them.
This makes so much sense cause I fit almost every symptom & description of both vulnerable grandiose narcism except the worst ones like lacking empathy & another one I forgot
I agree about renaming narcissism.
I see narcissism as someone who can’t tell the truth to save their life and also likes to play games that hurt other ppl that bolsters themselves they lie cheat and steal smear project try to control and suck the life out of ppl….. but that’s just my experience with them
I suffer from ADHD and is addicted to the toxicity of dating people with narcissistic personalities. Something in them draws me and their lovebombing feeds my want for dopamine. I believe my Adhd made me immune to their manipulation since I often lose interest when their lovebombing ends. I often question myself if I am a narcissist or is it the Adhd or maybe sociopathy? I don't enjoy being cruel to anyone and have empatyy tho lately I feel numb after being taken disadvantaged of people I trusted.
I just looked this up because I saw a video titled “ADHD rage” and it sounded a lot like cluster B.
Thank you for making this video.
I think I am narcissistic and I have adhd... Can I get better?
Be very careful by diagnosing yourself or by others. Get professional help and therapy. The word narcissism is very much abused those days.
Just the fact that you're worrying that you're a narc is a strong indicator of not being one...
This makes sense. I've never felt like a narcissist when ive looked at the definition and traits but I have caught some narcissistic behaviors and I think its linked to adhd. My adhd sometimes makes me talk about anything I can, and especially things I know a lot about.
We all know a lot about ourselves. I'm just glad to be more aware of it
And I definitely think you're right about Trump. There's no way that man doesn't have severe adhd lol
Excellent! I have been thinking about it recently and I believe it is just like you said
Is there any video left in the world that doesn't end up being about politics? I'm so over it all. Modern media sucks.
Pretty much. The world doesn't like us, so you can either bend over and take it or become calloused and fight back.
Everyone has narcissistic traits. Psychologists would say all humans carry traits from personality disorders but don't have a personality disorder. There is a healthy level of narcissism.
The problem is people throw the word narcissist around when actually if soneone is a true narcissist they will be NPD. Big difference between having traits or a personality disorder. So many people are wrongly labled. Look at borderline PD. Medical professionals want to put everyone in a box. We all have traits. No one likes rejection. That's normal human nature doesn't mean someone who struggles with rejection and regulating emotions has BPD.
Again too many people misdiagnosed.
Thank u, thank u, thank u. Thank u.
Omg all Presidents are narrasitic. We all are narrasitic but where we fall on the spectrum of healthy vs unhealthy.
Also borderline personality disorder gets same stigma as narrasitic personality disorder. Change the name isn't good to help anyone, if it's a spade call it a spade.
All behaviors are unhealthy coping strategies, but honestly it boils down to 3 ypes of people.
Those who have awareness and willing to get uncomfortable and hurt in order to get help..
Those people who have 0 awareness, until someone brings awareness their way. They will deny their behavior and choose to not do anything about it but bitch about how miserable they are all the time
And third those people who have awareness that they do these things but don't care , don't think they need therapy bc they are just who the are and nothing to changes. They then project their BS onto the 1st type or persons.
This holds true to any behavior mental illness.
Not talking about disorders bc of chemical imbalance.
So I disagree a NPD need to be called what it is , a BPD needs to be called out on what it is.
The decades of coddling and zero accountability. Narracist personality disorder is a epidemic and people need to hear that word and learn the traits bc the ones stuck in a intimate relationship with them are being emotionally and mentally abused.
Narracist that word has a spelling disorder 😉
What about the cross over between autism and narcissism?
From my understanding he does have adhd wasn’t there a book on it ?
i like this guy
Abs identify with you...am also an adhd specialist..please read my book Talking adhd ...these are N injuries and not NPD ...
Narcissistic behaviour, but not personality disorder.
This video was okay then it veered into politics and was like wtf, how can you tell Donal Trump is a narcissist? All egocentrism is not narcissism. I do not think you are very good at understanding concepts and i am concerned for those under your care
You are done with this mess here !!
Gays also seem to suffer a lot from narcissism. Seems like anything deviating from the standard or norm has the possibility of developing into narcissism…. Some would argue that narcissism is a positive adaptation in our modern world.
there is no hidden link, it's in everyone's face, axis 2 cluster B 100%
I think there is a parallel in the hedonism of ADHD and Narcissism. I think they attract and feed on each other as one is giving off energy and the other feeds on energy. Both are hedonistic. And both are 'unreal' constructs in some way. Not really 'human' somehow lacking in empathy [the ADHD accidentally by being overwhelmed]. The one inside the other is interesting here and would not surprise me. ; ) K
Maybe that could be linked to RSD more so
This is my wife right here
Looking to get someone professional help from someone very skilled in the disorders mentioned as well as anger, mood and paranoia that can come and go with The minutes in a day or a certain word or a drop of a dime. It is not easy to find a skilled professional to help diagnose and treat these issues just by looking on the Internet. Does anyone have any ideas or sources where I can find help in my area of Massachusetts?
Find any therapist and set up a consultation tell them your worried about being a narcissist or just having the traits. Its nerve wracking to find out if somethings wrong with you i get it but you'll be okay just try to remember that its gonna get better but its gonna be work you can't just show up and expect things to happen you need to put in the effort
George is a narcissist with NPD that's why he knows, it's his special hidden connection to ADHD
Yeah! I will implement this into my life, and whoops there goes my ADHD.
It’s not like one though is gonna make my condition go away.
Understanding is one thing, and then doing is another.
It takes years of work and years of therapy to get to a point, that I barely can accept my impulse behavior at times.
It’s very simplified and I don’t find it accurate.
Covering up your ignorance doesn’t make you a narcissist. A narcissist is made by abuse in the early childhood. Not by ADHD.
Although ADHD can be linked to childhood trauma though.
Man oh man yes
what do you do when you cant feed there ego any longer ,one cause everything you say is rubbed off as nothing ,, not because they dont matter but cause they dont care and want to talk more about themselfe,,,, but you mean well for them and your own well being cause if you cant keep stroking that ego they turn on you ?and they will if you dont serve a purpose , they will burn you asap ,,, any chance \what the fuck can you do ?
Narcissism has nothin g to do with ADHD all of a suden in 2023 this gets said its untrue no backup to this what so ever
Yeah ok couple things. Never say someone is obviously whatever with zero clinical evaluation. That’s just crappy lazy bad professionalism. Not to mention a violation of your own ethics..Second, narcissist are the invisible punching bag resolution these days for a ton of people who statistically have never actually encountered a real narcissist…
Facts
I agree, he must be a narcissists
Person I dealt with couldn’t produce enough shame and humiliation to anyone in their life. Trump kids show zero results of a shame based upbringing.
I wouldn’t assume trump is a narcasist
Ikr he's the scapegoat, it couldn't be clearer yet peeps still being duped by the smear campaign against him.
You lost me at slandering Trump in your "analysis". Trump haters always find a way to drag him into their narrative, and most of America is SICK OF IT. Shame on you. If one wants a more comprehensive analysis of anything narcissistic, check out Doctor Ramini instead.
I'm sorry he's conned you, but he is textbook NPD
so what if he is "textbook NPD". They have their place in this world, as do sociopaths and even psychopaths who do jobs the rest of us can't stomach. Trump's 4 years in office resulted in a booming economy, secure borders, and peace in the middle east. Regardless of his 'motives', America was in a very good place under his administration. America was respected under his lead, maybe because he was an NPD and didn't care what others thought. Think a little deeper.
Dr. Ramani isn't npd, she's actually probably ADHD if anything. Not inattentive type she seems more hyperactive type which is rare as an adult. Trump, is definitely on cluster b, you're definitely in a cult btw. "maga".
@@reneelibby4885talking about the president? not yet perceived the smear campaign against him; just goes to show
You think that people don’t born with it but get it because of some experience? Im questioning your professionalism.
There's a distinction that's being made between those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and those with ADHD who perform in narcissistic ways. Both NPD and ADHD are born into. There was no claim made about those with NPD. ADHD is a very different fish though. I have ADHD but have a lot of questions and this short video answered many of them because this seems to be a rarely talked about phenomena. I was raised by a narcissist and married to a narcissist for 20 years. I went untreated for ADHD until I was 46 - this year (yes, I came up snake eyes in the game of life. Yay me). I don't have NPD but, boy oh boy, are those symptoms part of my situation? Better believe it. I hope that helps? It's a fair question (it's a confusing thing because, again, it's rarely talked about. As he mentioned at the top; the terminology could use some fine tuning). I will say that I'm baffled as to why this would put his professionalism into question. Gonna be straight with ya, that bit seemed unhelpful and not a little bit rude.
Narcissism comes from trauma, can have genetic elements, but narcissists are not necessarily all bad, they usually have unresolved trauma.
He is very professional... because...yes trauma and experiences in life create narcissists...it's by no means all genetic
@@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457you don't know enough about it, please do research it more before commenting
I am glad I do not have to feel guilty or shame about feeling like im a narcissst.
⚜💖💖💖⚜
How does it stand clear to you that Donald Trump has let his heart be hardened?
unfortunatlely i am the son of god
Absolutely everyone is a narcissist.. you’re in denial if you think you’re not. If you have an ego and a healthy self esteem then there’s a little narcissism within u
There's a difference in having "a little narcissism in you" and being on the cluster b spectrum. Big difference. It's like saying everyone who's told a lie is a narcissist. Educate yourself more on the subject there are people who literally can't stop lying, or gaslighting people, or mirroring people they are jealous of or envy so they get in a relationship with them by love bombing and mirroring, the start devaluing. What you said is literally like saying "everyone is a little psychopath" which is aspd which is under the same cluster as npd, no everyone isn't.