You only realize the fact of not belonging anywhere anymore when you visit (or move back to) your home country. I'm Hungarian, have been living almost half of my life in Scandinavia. (8 years in Denmark, 2 in Sweden, 5 in Norway) I'll never become a Viking. I'm different, with a different cultural background, a completely different language, and as a foreigner, I think it's not just me feeling like an outsider, but I am an outsider for Norwegians. (and no, I don't think the reason is racism, it's something else, but off topic). I have always been feeling like I do not belong here. On the other hand when I travel home to Hungary I just see that everything changed and I wasn't there, I wasn't part of that change. My personality and values changed in a different direction than of people in my home country. I don't belong there anymore either and this is a tough recognition. I absolutely love Norway and I'd miss this place extremely if I'd move back to my country, but as a foreigner (and an introvert) I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my life and since I'm 34 it's getting more and more scary. I know, that this problem could be fixed if I'd move back to Hungary, but I just see how life is going on there and I just don't want all that stress and frustration to become part of my life.
@@TheDrunkDragon I love Brazil! I was in Bahia 10 years ago. My best friend is from Brazil (he is living in Denmark). But I could not imagine myself living there. The cultural difference is quite significant and in my experience im too much of an introvert for South American people. :)
I can totally relate to you. I'm from the east but live in Australia. I've spent half my life in the east and the west but I feel like an outsider in both places. I think its because we might be attracted towards a certain lifestyle & a familiarity with one culture, however we might posses different values and customs which may not be present in the place we want to live hence causing this frustration. Thank you for sharing this; I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.
I think this is just the sad reality of being an adult immigrant - once you are no longer in college or school, it becomes very hard to make new friends in any society you did not grow up in. Most adults keep their work life separate from their hobbies so you can't normally find friends at work, even in extroverted countries like the US and Spain. IMHO you have to go out of your way with your hobbies and passions and join activities/clubs more and more to make friends after 30.
44:30 i’m an Israeli (born to anglo parents) who lived in Hawaii for 12 years. I grappled with this exact sentiment for nearly the entire time before returning to Israel. He expressed this so articulately in a way that spoke to my soul. This conversation was wonderful. He’s extremely intelligent and you asked excellent questions. Your best conversation yet!
@@datingbeyondborderscastMarina, don't take me wrong 😂 but I can't take the "who pays on the first date" thing anymore. But, I understand that you post it. I do. Let's take it with humour 😂
That was really interesting! I’ve seen Alex in a conference called Langfest in Montreal a few years ago and he was funny and the audience loved him! As a Canadian now living in Greece, I have to agree completely with him. And the best way to integrate and understand everything he said is to actually learn the language! True, Greek is not easy! But it is so rewarding and you will learn a lot about the people through their language. Thank you again for this podcast! It reminded me of what I love about Greece 😊
"Different places bring out different aspects of yourself " You should look into astrocartography! This is the very premise of this science/astrology. Everything about how I felt in my hometown, different places I've travelled to, and random places I've never been but have always been drawn to made sense ☺️
I’m so happy I discovered the second channel of yours Marina! I’m really loving these more in depth interviews here. I really loved this one, I’m a British person who aspires to leave and live in other countries and learn other languages so this interview and his perspectives were so interesting to me thanks 🙂🙏🏾
Well THAT was an interesting, very relevant, and healing conversation for our internet-mad world, specially from 44:00 onwards. In the end, people need to commit and give time to be happy. Internet has convinced us that quotidian life and its routines are the enemy of happiness. We all need to mix it up from time to time, but we also need solid ground and what to expect for our own peace. That is also very human.
That was (again) a great video of your channel, especially the second half, and especially about the spiritual lifestyle in Greece - a fact I didn't know about. By the way: a "society" living "chaos" and "spirituality" are terms that I would also apply to India in this combination.
The root cause of depression is not feeling connected to our surroundings - place, culture and people. Spiritual people come to the understanding that on the other side (where we come from before incarnating and where we return to once we pass away), we are all inately connected to each other but here, in this world, every person is like an island where we need to seek different means of connecting all these islands together to become one again. The kind of depression that comes from feeling disconnected from our surroundings is prevalent in people who have the means to indulge in the lucky priviledge of living wherever they want in the world. People who've lived in the same possible boring place their whole lives and been surrounded with the same friends and family aren't encumbered with such existantial questions. In our 20's we want to discover the world and everything that's out there but in our 30's we start to realise that the most important thing in life is connection. Since my childhood, with my family, we emigrated every 6,5 years to a different country and because home life was difficult and stressfull, I never felt a sense of inner-peace or belonging to anywhere. During our years in Holland, when I was a teenager, I went through a huge and terrifying depression where, despite having friends, inately, I felt all alone in the universe. At age 18, out of choice this time, I decided to live and work in several different countries, just like Marina, feeling at home everywhere but never completely. At age 26, because I am half french, I décidés to emigrate back to France again and have been living hère since 20 years ! Do I feel like I have finally planted some roots at long last ? Not sure but this is as good as it's going to feel. It's complicated also for people like me who have never wanted to have children/a family and I also suffer from avoidant attachment where, just like every human being, I crave true intimacy with a partner but as soon as I feel like the person's getting too close, I start pushing him away (maybe this stems from my difficult famille interactions). I don't feel particularly connected to french nationals as our life experiences that have shaped us and made us and our psyches the way we and they are, are just so different. People I connect the best with are either TCK's (Third Culture Kids), or internationals just like me as we seem to have an inate understanding of each other. I have joined dance classes and every dance event I go to, I end up meeting and dancing with the same people, many of whom are internationals and this has, at long last, given me a sense of belonging and community ! 🙂
What you are missing is purpose and connection. Purpose - what am i doing here beyond a few signature moments? Connection to a group of like-minded people or people local to you whose experience mirrors yours. Being in my 50s now, I even experienced this existential crisis on a 2 week holiday - mainly because i think too much 🙂 but i was thinking about what I did on holiday - going for a meal in the evening, you go out for a drink, go to bed, wake up next day, have breakfast, do something like a trip, lunch, do something on beach, meal rinse and repeat. After a week, it felt really empty. I was shocked because it was Crete and it was lovely and sunny and historical etc and I was there with my family even. But the lack of connection to my environment was pretty soul-destroying for me.
As someone who moved around all my life and grew up to work 100% remotely, I don't really feel rooted anywhere. Doesn't help that my home country isn't in the best condition. There is always someone or someplace I miss. I've decided to move to Portugal next year, giving it 2 years and really committing to it. I'm excited and ready to commit.
36:29 most important idea here. Everyone romanticizes Spain but if you have no patience for a lack of punctuality, bureaucracy, and like quiet times/spaces and privacy, you'll always be frustrated.
Free flowing in life and committing aren´t opposites , on the contrary, they are natural aspects of life. You can commit to a job or a partner, but that same commitment doesn´t have to enslave you to them. We are essentially free , which means we can commit to living in a place, to a relationship or to a project, until maybe one day that project doesn´t make any sense to us anymore, and we need to move on so we can grow and evolve with a different type of commitment, even if that means relocating to a new area or finding a new job/partner.
Well, this all seems to be so promising; however, it could be more convincing if the guy showed his certificates. I am not judging him. Having said so, language proficiency is measured through valid certification, not personally acclaimed verbal assurance. I might be amiss; I am open to other notions.
You can google him if in doubt. He was named Britain's most multilingual student by getting tested on his language proficiency in 2012. I don't do a show of certificates on this Podcast.
@@datingbeyondborderscast I have checked his abandoned channel which has some vacuous videos. TBH, his videos are futile. The point is that if he is a polyglot, but he could not live the life he wanted, then he must have pursued something else rather than wasting his others' time. I would love to have one language but live a life that I not only wanted for me but for my loved ones. I can speak more than 10 languages, but I learned those languages while growing up. The only languages that I learned with deliberate effort were English and Arabic. I hope you understand my concern. In Asia, it's commonplace for people to learn 5 to 10 languages-this is not something to be proud of. What matters is how deep your thoughts are in any language. However, I loved his accent; he could have started teaching it, and he might have had a more satisfying life. Regarding not showing his certification, you are risking your authenticity. Not everyone is going to check his channel. I might be amiss; I am open to other notions. Thank you for reading.
@@datingbeyondborderscast What is it about the mindset/vibe in Toronto that you don't really relate to? I grew up and live here and always wondered what others thought of the city.
😮Vi el título. Miré un poquito del vídeo y no pude seguir. Simplemente me enojan esas personas que no se dan cuenta de los privilegios que tienen! Este pibe se viajó todo! Sabe un montón de idiomas, pero no es feliz?!!!! Entonces que queda para el resto del mundo, para personas como yo, que no tenemos un mango ni para llegar a la esquina?!!! Quien quisiera tener su vida, viajar, estudiar idiomas! Me da bronca!!! No puedo ver este tipo de contenido. Me enoja y me entristece.
![[Full] 4 ต่อ 4 Celebrity EP.922 | 10 พ.ย. 67 | one31](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zmV5HRIxIBI/mqdefault.jpg)
You only realize the fact of not belonging anywhere anymore when you visit (or move back to) your home country.
I'm Hungarian, have been living almost half of my life in Scandinavia. (8 years in Denmark, 2 in Sweden, 5 in Norway)
I'll never become a Viking. I'm different, with a different cultural background, a completely different language, and as a foreigner, I think it's not just me feeling like an outsider, but I am an outsider for Norwegians. (and no, I don't think the reason is racism, it's something else, but off topic). I have always been feeling like I do not belong here. On the other hand when I travel home to Hungary I just see that everything changed and I wasn't there, I wasn't part of that change. My personality and values changed in a different direction than of people in my home country. I don't belong there anymore either and this is a tough recognition.
I absolutely love Norway and I'd miss this place extremely if I'd move back to my country, but as a foreigner (and an introvert) I'm the loneliest I've ever been in my life and since I'm 34 it's getting more and more scary. I know, that this problem could be fixed if I'd move back to Hungary, but I just see how life is going on there and I just don't want all that stress and frustration to become part of my life.
Try Brazil, you won't be lonely for long
@@TheDrunkDragon I love Brazil! I was in Bahia 10 years ago. My best friend is from Brazil (he is living in Denmark). But I could not imagine myself living there. The cultural difference is quite significant and in my experience im too much of an introvert for South American people. :)
I can totally relate to you. I'm from the east but live in Australia. I've spent half my life in the east and the west but I feel like an outsider in both places. I think its because we might be attracted towards a certain lifestyle & a familiarity with one culture, however we might posses different values and customs which may not be present in the place we want to live hence causing this frustration. Thank you for sharing this; I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.
I think this is just the sad reality of being an adult immigrant - once you are no longer in college or school, it becomes very hard to make new friends in any society you did not grow up in. Most adults keep their work life separate from their hobbies so you can't normally find friends at work, even in extroverted countries like the US and Spain. IMHO you have to go out of your way with your hobbies and passions and join activities/clubs more and more to make friends after 30.
44:30 i’m an Israeli (born to anglo parents) who lived in Hawaii for 12 years. I grappled with this exact sentiment for nearly the entire time before returning to Israel. He expressed this so articulately in a way that spoke to my soul. This conversation was wonderful. He’s extremely intelligent and you asked excellent questions. Your best conversation yet!
Agree. A great conversation between 2 very intellegent people.
@@anabelaferreira9926he’s also very sensitive and in tune with his intuition which is not so common to see these days.
So happy you liked it! Alex was a great guest to have on the Podcast 🙂
@@Seanonyoutube True.
@@datingbeyondborderscastMarina, don't take me wrong 😂 but I can't take the "who pays on the first date" thing anymore. But, I understand that you post it. I do. Let's take it with humour 😂
As a Brazilian living in the Netherlands I could totally relate to what he said… this feeling of not belonging anywhere.
That was really interesting! I’ve seen Alex in a conference called Langfest in Montreal a few years ago and he was funny and the audience loved him! As a Canadian now living in Greece, I have to agree completely with him. And the best way to integrate and understand everything he said is to actually learn the language! True, Greek is not easy! But it is so rewarding and you will learn a lot about the people through their language. Thank you again for this podcast! It reminded me of what I love about Greece 😊
What a coincidence!
The best podcast I’ve heard in a while! I would love to have Alex join you again
Thanks for this superb interview!
"Different places bring out different aspects of yourself " You should look into astrocartography! This is the very premise of this science/astrology. Everything about how I felt in my hometown, different places I've travelled to, and random places I've never been but have always been drawn to made sense ☺️
I’m so happy I discovered the second channel of yours Marina! I’m really loving these more in depth interviews here. I really loved this one, I’m a British person who aspires to leave and live in other countries and learn other languages so this interview and his perspectives were so interesting to me thanks 🙂🙏🏾
Well THAT was an interesting, very relevant, and healing conversation for our internet-mad world, specially from 44:00 onwards. In the end, people need to commit and give time to be happy. Internet has convinced us that quotidian life and its routines are the enemy of happiness. We all need to mix it up from time to time, but we also need solid ground and what to expect for our own peace. That is also very human.
So relatable!!
This is a fascinating conversation. Thank you both!
Happy you liked it!
His British accent alone is so addictive he doesn't need to speak another language whatsoever.
So interesting! Marina, the best podcast ever! 🙂
Thank you! It's also one of my favorites actually 😁
That was (again) a great video of your channel, especially the second half, and especially about the spiritual lifestyle in Greece - a fact I didn't know about. By the way: a "society" living "chaos" and "spirituality" are terms that I would also apply to India in this combination.
Thank you! Happy you enjoyed it
The root cause of depression is not feeling connected to our surroundings - place, culture and people. Spiritual people come to the understanding that on the other side (where we come from before incarnating and where we return to once we pass away), we are all inately connected to each other but here, in this world, every person is like an island where we need to seek different means of connecting all these islands together to become one again. The kind of depression that comes from feeling disconnected from our surroundings is prevalent in people who have the means to indulge in the lucky priviledge of living wherever they want in the world. People who've lived in the same possible boring place their whole lives and been surrounded with the same friends and family aren't encumbered with such existantial questions. In our 20's we want to discover the world and everything that's out there but in our 30's we start to realise that the most important thing in life is connection. Since my childhood, with my family, we emigrated every 6,5 years to a different country and because home life was difficult and stressfull, I never felt a sense of inner-peace or belonging to anywhere. During our years in Holland, when I was a teenager, I went through a huge and terrifying depression where, despite having friends, inately, I felt all alone in the universe. At age 18, out of choice this time, I decided to live and work in several different countries, just like Marina, feeling at home everywhere but never completely. At age 26, because I am half french, I décidés to emigrate back to France again and have been living hère since 20 years ! Do I feel like I have finally planted some roots at long last ? Not sure but this is as good as it's going to feel. It's complicated also for people like me who have never wanted to have children/a family and I also suffer from avoidant attachment where, just like every human being, I crave true intimacy with a partner but as soon as I feel like the person's getting too close, I start pushing him away (maybe this stems from my difficult famille interactions). I don't feel particularly connected to french nationals as our life experiences that have shaped us and made us and our psyches the way we and they are, are just so different. People I connect the best with are either TCK's (Third Culture Kids), or internationals just like me as we seem to have an inate understanding of each other. I have joined dance classes and every dance event I go to, I end up meeting and dancing with the same people, many of whom are internationals and this has, at long last, given me a sense of belonging and community ! 🙂
wow, I just commented along these lines then scrolled down and read your post.
More of this💖
What you are missing is purpose and connection. Purpose - what am i doing here beyond a few signature moments? Connection to a group of like-minded people or people local to you whose experience mirrors yours.
Being in my 50s now, I even experienced this existential crisis on a 2 week holiday - mainly because i think too much 🙂 but i was thinking about what I did on holiday - going for a meal in the evening, you go out for a drink, go to bed, wake up next day, have breakfast, do something like a trip, lunch, do something on beach, meal rinse and repeat. After a week, it felt really empty. I was shocked because it was Crete and it was lovely and sunny and historical etc and I was there with my family even. But the lack of connection to my environment was pretty soul-destroying for me.
As someone who moved around all my life and grew up to work 100% remotely, I don't really feel rooted anywhere. Doesn't help that my home country isn't in the best condition. There is always someone or someplace I miss. I've decided to move to Portugal next year, giving it 2 years and really committing to it. I'm excited and ready to commit.
I loved this conversation.
"Espana es diferente / Spain is different" is one of the first and most famous tourist campaign slogans for Spain from the 60s.
That was truly wonderful. I love this podcast so much.
Thank you 🤩
36:29 most important idea here. Everyone romanticizes Spain but if you have no patience for a lack of punctuality, bureaucracy, and like quiet times/spaces and privacy, you'll always be frustrated.
5 yrs in Canada and still pondering if I should leave lol
Same fr
Free flowing in life and committing aren´t opposites , on the contrary, they are natural aspects of life. You can commit to a job or a partner, but that same commitment doesn´t have to enslave you to them. We are essentially free , which means we can commit to living in a place, to a relationship or to a project, until maybe one day that project doesn´t make any sense to us anymore, and we need to move on so we can grow and evolve with a different type of commitment, even if that means relocating to a new area or finding a new job/partner.
It rains a lot in Ireland🤣
Well, this all seems to be so promising; however, it could be more convincing if the guy showed his certificates. I am not judging him. Having said so, language proficiency is measured through valid certification, not personally acclaimed verbal assurance.
I might be amiss; I am open to other notions.
You can google him if in doubt. He was named Britain's most multilingual student by getting tested on his language proficiency in 2012. I don't do a show of certificates on this Podcast.
@@datingbeyondborderscast I have checked his abandoned channel which has some vacuous videos. TBH, his videos are futile. The point is that if he is a polyglot, but he could not live the life he wanted, then he must have pursued something else rather than wasting his others' time. I would love to have one language but live a life that I not only wanted for me but for my loved ones. I can speak more than 10 languages, but I learned those languages while growing up. The only languages that I learned with deliberate effort were English and Arabic.
I hope you understand my concern. In Asia, it's commonplace for people to learn 5 to 10 languages-this is not something to be proud of. What matters is how deep your thoughts are in any language.
However, I loved his accent; he could have started teaching it, and he might have had a more satisfying life.
Regarding not showing his certification, you are risking your authenticity. Not everyone is going to check his channel.
I might be amiss; I am open to other notions.
Thank you for reading.
Where in Canada are you?
Toronto
@@datingbeyondborderscast What is it about the mindset/vibe in Toronto that you don't really relate to? I grew up and live here and always wondered what others thought of the city.
"A couple tested out life in Canada and Italy. They chose to move where salaries are lower but life is sweeter": so, whats this sh;t
😮Vi el título. Miré un poquito del vídeo y no pude seguir. Simplemente me enojan esas personas que no se dan cuenta de los privilegios que tienen! Este pibe se viajó todo! Sabe un montón de idiomas, pero no es feliz?!!!! Entonces que queda para el resto del mundo, para personas como yo, que no tenemos un mango ni para llegar a la esquina?!!! Quien quisiera tener su vida, viajar, estudiar idiomas! Me da bronca!!! No puedo ver este tipo de contenido. Me enoja y me entristece.