The sigh of relief I experienced when my husband looked me in the eyes and said “your job is to be happy, not worry; I carry 100% of the weight of protecting and providing for our family”
It’s so refreshing to hear someone speak to these traditional viewpoints in our toxic feministic culture. Love it! The only thing I disagreed with was a husband not having responsibility to “help” with his children. I don’t see the children as a part of the “work” to be divided between a husband and wife. They aren’t just the wives children, they are the husbands children too. He has dad responsibilities to connect with, love and develop a close relationship with his kids just as much as the mom. So when he gets home from work, I think he should be expected to connect with his kids and if that helps the wife out by allowing her to make dinner in peace, then that is a plus!
@Anna Rae this is so important and it’s even traditional. Men in former ages, especially working class, connected with kids by teaching them things pertaining to growing up and being responsible adults (work, chores, reading the scripture or entertaining them).
YES, my father helped. On his days off, we were with him and we did not have a choice to opt out. He would always say "you're coming with me to give your momma a break". He was a blue collar worker born in the 30's.
Just a side note... it's good to have the children help with folding laundry as it's a great time for conversations. The more they are included the better. My grandmother was always on her feet taking care of the home, cooking food for a family of 6, sewing clothes, baking bread, growing her garden and tending to my grandfather's needs very well. The problem was that she never had time to sit down with her children and listen to their needs or even play with them because she was so busy making sure her husband was comfortable and the children suffered for it. There's a balance in all this. I appreciate your channel and your content.
Yes...I agree Balance...Everyone needs quiet time to be alone to grow as an individual as in a family! I agree," let men be men!" I was a housewife and I was happy..however, when the children get older, it's better to already have a hobby or develop one...so when your husband or children ignore you, you can immerse yourself with God and your talent!!!!
the way you describe your grandmother is exactly how my mother described the life of her own mother: constantly busy always cooking, washing, working in the house. my mum complained she often ate in the kitchen standing up. In her spare time on Summer evebings she would gather her children to read aloud classic novels and then pray the rosary.
I agree. We often complain that our husbands are working too much and never has time for us. When he is home he is tired and needs the rest to get ready for the fixit jobs and other maintenance that needs doing, that maybe we cannot do. But then as moms and wives, we often do the same in caring for the daily chores of a home maker. We are so busy caring for our home and the family needs, that we do not spend any quality time with our children or husbands. Balance is the key and the most difficult thing to achieve. And I wished I had realized that in my younger years of raising our family.
Very much agree. The housewives of the 50s and 60s seemed to often be disconnected from their children and so overworked… it was just how it was and was expected
Great insight, as usual. One thing that I want to remind us of is that the homemaker has A LOT of control over how her days are spent. So, if she wants to stop working right after dinner, she can order her life to make it so, most of the time. When I was raising young kids, my husband was working full time and going to school full time, so that he could provide a better life for us. Even though I was a homeschooling mother of 4 young children, I didn't expect him to do one thing to help out around the house. He just didn't have the margin. Since I was on my own so much, I was very intentional about how I structured my days, and I was determined to be off duty by 8:00 when my kids went to bed. And most days, I made sure that the only thing left to do after dinner was to load the dishwasher with the dishes we ate on, bathe the kids, and put them to bed. How did I do this? I limited my children's outside activities. They did dance, sports, art, etc, but I made sure that all of my free time was not spent driving kids around. I started dinner right after breakfast. That way, most of the prep dishes were out of the way early. I taught my kids to help out around the house, and assigned age-appropriate chores to be completed every day after school. I limited our possessions such as toys and clothes. That helped to keep the housework under control. I taught my children to go to bed at 8. If they were too old for that, they were allowed to spend an hour or so reading in their rooms before going to sleep. In short, I built my days around making sure that I was able to rest at night. My husband is a loving man, and a great provider. But he has never had the kind of autonomy over his days that I do. Most men don't. Even if they are self-employed, they have to meet the demands and deadlines of their clients. I think that it is important for us to keep this in mind if we feel that we need our husbands' help with our job. There are seasons in life when we need an extra hand - sickness, pregnancy, etc. But for the most part, I think that we should focus on being grateful for the freedom that we have as homemakers, and structure our time so that we can take advantage of the flexibility that we have.
A father should help with his children. Period. And a husband should at least clean up after hisself. And or help when he is off. Everything regarding the home shouldn’t fall on the wife.
My dad was a hardworking man but he had time for me.Homework and pressing uniforms were his duties.Thats the type of home I want and God bless me with that or none.
That is not what she is saying though. Often times I believe woman expect men to be a woman with a woman touch and that just is not what a man is. So I believe what she is saying is change your expectations. Or keep your expectations open.
My husband doesnt think that spending time with his child after work is ‘helping’. Its called parenting. And if you cant expect your husband, father of your children, parent his children, then you have a very skewed view of what parenting actually is. I am a christian and have been for many many years and my father parented me, sometimes that allowed my Mom to go to bible study, tend to herself and spend time with her friends. Mothers arent slaves to the home and kids jusy because they shouldnt complain. We should be more focused on raising men that PARENT their kids AND COOPORATE in keeping their home (where they also live) neat and clean. We both have jobs. I raise the kids, taxi them around, cook, clean and trust him to provide financial security. So we both work, one isnt more important than the other.
I don't think she is saying one is more important than the other. She is saying that a Mom's job is busy and sometimes hard. But, it does end after approximately 20 years. A husbands job continues until his 70's. I agree with her. I worked outside the home 3 12 hour shifts per week while raising my kids. I also maintained my home and finances while hubby worked 40+ a week. Yes, we worked together to raise the family. But, for approximately 20 years I put in more hours than him. Now, I still work 3 nights per week but I have 4 days to enjoy as I wish.
@@sheilafelix113 20 years of the work I'm putting in as a sahm will probably be the end of me, honestly. I'm exhausted. I hardly have time for a 10 minute shower, on my "down time" I'm doing chores like laundry etc. That my husband doesn't do, at the end of the day I'm almost near tears from complete burnout and I'm a very organized, efficient person. Telling woman that they only have to care for their children/keep a home/and care for their husband 24/7 for "only" 20 years is depressing.
I understand this feeling, & I’m not organized which affects my effectiveness. There’s so much, & I want to be great all I can while serving my family. It’s just tough & I amazed at how I manage to pour out of what I feel is a nearly empty glass. I’m told to enjoy these years, & I feel lucky just making it through the day most times. I struggle with depression & anxiety & have completely lost myself in marriage & motherhood. I’m always looking for ways to be better or effective, but I’m worn out & feel guilty & sometimes angry.
@@EFrey-xz4pu exactly. Because the mental burden doesnt end for us. I dont think God ever expects us to suffer in our roles, rather be considerate of our partners with MERCY and help in any way we can. It is a disservice to women And any primary caretaker/homemaker to tell them they should not expect help. And if you think parenting ends in 20 years you gotta be kidding me HAHA
I feel like this might distract from our highest calling as Christians. We're called to lovingly serve one another. We're not called to stay within our boundary box and say: "Hey, that's your job, not my job". The husband should be proactive in serving his wife where he can and vice versa. Husbands are literally told to give themselves up for their wives, like Christ did! Ergo completely sacrificing their own interests. It does not say: "Once your day job is done, you can chill out and relax". The woman is also referred to the man's helper in Genesis. If a husband struggles to provide, the wife should help him if she's able. Proverbs 31 shows great admiration for an industrious woman. Spouses should be attentive to each other's needs as much as possible. The Bible says surprisingly little about genders roles compared to how much it speaks about humble service. It mentions briefly women as keepers at home, but it doesn't even take the time to define what that means. I think we ought to be very careful to neither conform the Bible to traditional gender roles nor modern ones.
I am a muslim woman, and I wholeheartedly agree with this. Our book also says little about the specifics of gender roles in the home. It says you cover each other. Leaving your wife to exhaust herself physically and mentally with homemaking, child bearing and child rearing so you can sit around at home is unacceptable to me. It is detrimental to the wife, the children and the whole family, which you are the head of. That’s not ok.
Being a housewife myself,this applies once the kids are in school.Before that,raising little humans is something unlike anything else.Its 24 hours non stop,up all night,dirty all day emotionally, mentally and physically taxing thing.So it very much depends on how old the kids are .My husband works full time and even he sees how tough is when the kids are small.He helps me whenever he can because while he sleeps at night and I'm up all night.
Even when kids are older you need a break from routine. My father is 84 and when we were little, whenever he was off from work, he would take us with him whether we wanted to go or not "to give my mother a break". And my Father did not do easy work. He worked at a refinery and he still knew that he needed to give my mother a break. Which helped a lot when my mother was sick and had to have surgery.
Thank you for saying this. I have a 3 children, 3 and under at the moment and I’m sitting here wondering how I could possibly do everything without my husband’s help. I’m always trying to be a better mother and wife but at this stage maybe it is unreasonable to do every last task with 3 littles in tow and zero help.
Thank you for your comment. I really feel like a failure at the moment I have a 7 month old and a 2 year old. I get nothing done but basic cleaning meals and survival of the kids. I am sleep deprived and my body hurts. And my husband helps so much and it shames me. And on the other hand I do want him to give me free time to help me get free time from the kids.
@@meinennamensagichnet I think you are watching the wrong kind of channel. You are doing great, and it will get better and easier when they are a bit older. Be proud of yourself and keep in mind they are his children as much as yours.
I am a 21 year old unmarried college student and I benefit a lot from TH-cam channel. Your video on modesty encouraged me to begin my modesty and to get closer to God. I think God a lot that I came across your content. I really enjoyed this video there is lot of insight I hope I can apply when get married. Even though I am not a homemaker nor in a relationship i keep on watching those videos again and again because they always remind me to get closer to God.
I’m a single Christian woman and this is a hard teaching to accept. I will keep listening because this is different than what I’ve seen or heard in my life.
This was hard for me too, but I listened to an incredible podcast called The Renaissance of Men interview with Allison Armstrong and it helped me so much to understand the traditional roles of men and women (I was cringing through some of it, but now it makes total sense and I’ve accepted it with a very happy heart). I have transformed from feminist to feminine.
I guess I’m struggling too cause this isn’t resonating with me at all. It’s not like once kids leave the nest there still aren’t home making tasks that need to be done on a daily basis. I love working. I don’t find it stressful. I do meaningful work that I care about. 37.5 hours a week and the idea of doing my professional job for 20-40 years appeals to me way more than solely 20 years of hard home labor.
Yep! I hear you!! I love making my money and spending it!!!! I also make more than my husband and he does not care at all. Additionally, we will be able to provide a very comfortable lifestyle to our children. Last, God forbids anything happens to him, I have a retirement account to keep our family stable!. As far as cleaning, we can always hire someone to do that for us!.
First off- how many people watched the first part of this video several times so they could learn that fold? 😁 Second, it’s an unfortunate reality that these days, many, many women who have already worked in the home for 20 years are not getting to enter that season of a more rest and freedom because now they are raising their grandchildren. 😕
I had the exact same thought about the grandparents who now don’t have rest because the millennials were not taught how to be proper home keepers and have not built their house on the word of God. I’m 37 and had 10 years with my kids and am just learning all of this! I can’t believe how many arguments I could have avoided had I understood the deeper meaning behind our God given roles verses my brainwashed mind stuck in me mentality and self centered righteousness. Thank God for guides the lost sheep like me back. I’ve found freedom and love like I never knew existed.
Or, in my case, transitioned (as her only child) from caring for my family to taking care of my 92 yo mom who has dementia and is declining everyday. I have to do everything for her...Everything. And, she is uncooperative which makes it hard. On the bright side, AT LEAST she recognizes me!! My heart breaks for folks that have loved ones that DON'T recognize them!!! Thankfully, my 2 adult children are doing a fantastic job of raising their littles! WHAT a blessing! It IS ridiculous how many grandparents are having to raise their grandchildren!
I’m a new Christian (2 years). My husband of 12 years is an atheist. He quit his job to homeschool our kids through the pandemic because I make 8 times more than him. ☹️ they are now back at school and he does tons around our house to fix it up (building a porch, yard work, painting etc) and he helps with the book keeping side of my business (I pay him as an employee) I cook and clean and we both care for kids (he’s a really involved dad, loves going on the field trips with them because their school is awesome and they go hiking and camping etc) I pray he will find Christ and I’m trying my best to a biblical wife. He still opens my jars of pickles and Carries my heavy things :)
I am proud of the fact that my husband has only done household chores while I was in my postpartum periods for two weeks after having our children. I do not expect him to do chores around the house, as that is my job and I do my best to make that possible. He does help me with the children and takes a huge role in their religious formation and I'm grateful to share that role. I never did understand how women expect their husbands to come home after working all day while they've been home...I didn't do his job, he shouldn't do mine. Him helping me is putting a roof over my head, clothes on my back and providing stability for our family.
I find myself coming back to your videos again and again even though I am not a homemaker, a housewife, nor a chrisitan woman. I come back because I teach many of the things you speak about and I share an understanding of what it means to be in a woman's role. Our society has made us women so masculine in nature, that we forget how to allow and surrender to the men around us even if we are single, dating, or not into men at all. The beauty of what you speak, I do value in many ways and this is why I continue to come back to your channel, alongside your hair is goregous and the modesty of clothes resonates with me! Thanks for being a fresh voice and giving us a peak into your beliefs and life.
I feel you, weather you are here for the hair, feminine perspective, home making encouragement, recipe inspiration, clothing inspiration, chit chat or Tea ☕️ this is a great safe space. I have never been a fan of folding but she makes it look fun 🤩.
It's strange to hear a woman call another woman a burden. Following that logic, if a man is allowed to call his God given responsibilities a burden, what can women call theirs? I know what you meant (or maybe what the book meant; I was cleaning as I listened and may have missed what was your opinion and what were facts from the book) but the way that fell on my ears... . If I'm encouraged to see my homemaking and child-rearing responsibilities as a joy and a privilege, I would love to see men be encouraged towards the same godly perspective/mindset about his responsibilities.
Responsible? YES. Burden? NO. The responsibility/duty of taking care of a family won't be heavy, if the relationship between the husband and the HOLY SPIRIT GOD is deep and the wife is wise.
Maybe I am not a traditionalist but I do not agree with this ideology. I have stayed home for the last 16 yrs and have raised 2 children. My push back is that I do not think a man who provides financially is his only responsibility. I believe he also needs to invest in his family emotionally and spiritually. Obviously, his time is limited so there needs to be grace there. I am a big component of the father being present with the kids. I think kids who grow up with absent fathers has real hurt, regardless of the reason, legitimate or not. The thing kids remember is that dad wasn’t home and if he was home, he didn’t spend time with them. I think it is detrimental to a child’s upbringing. Children need both a father and a mother’s involvement and influence. It doesn’t matter what a superstar mom you are, it can not replace a father’s love and influence. To me, it is not a mathematical equation of equal work. That is narrow minded. The big picture is that our kids need both mom and dad for flourishing, especially during the younger years. For this reason, the 20 yr argument really doesn’t work. Now that my kids are teenagers, I am working. There is no resting period. As kids get older into adulthood, mothers are still invested (not to the same degree). And of course, as grandkids come into the picture that stage also has responsibilities.
Im 25 yrs old and i grew up with my dad in the house but he was never involved with my little brother and I; all i remember is him not being there at all; ive always seen my mom as my sole parent and my dad was just there to givr food and payed the bills (if he didnt waste it on Cigarettes and whiskey) i gotta say i was very damaged as a kid from not having a father figure in the home. Im living proof that you NEED both Mother and Father present physical, emotionally and helping you grow spirituality. My husband and I made it a promise to ourselves to be there in every aspect for our daughter. Him working hard and such is not an excuse to be absent cause he's too tired
@@KassandraChandler I agree too.Even something as little as reading them bedtime stories or asking how their day was ,sitting at the dinner table and having family co nveesation,.or going to grab some ice cream with the kids for some alone time with them even just for an hour ogee the weekend, or watch them play soccer in the back yard while sipping some juice or something,counts. My husband had to learn this and it didn't come easy but I engorged it in love and made him see the benefit and God has been gracious.I let him go sometimes with his boys camping to do boys stuff for a couple of days and though a very bussy business man,.when it's family time-no phone calls and stuff like that.I promised myself, they are a gift and we will raise emotionally stable,. Happy,loved and secure children and won't send into the world broken children who have parents issues and take it out on other out there as God leads.Learnung each day and allow Him to order the Footsteps of our lives and I pray daily for wisdom and discernment and grace to know what to do,.when and how. Its a journey but we are not alone.Work In progress.
Yes, they call those dads "absent present fathers". Just because he works it does not mean he has no responsibility in teaching his child to read or anything else.
@@KassandraChandler Respect that man for providing food, cloth and shelter! Once a man smokes and drink he will not that time for kids; He will prefer to chill with friends! Your mom new your Dad smokes and drinks b4 she married him! Hold your mother accountable for chosen your Dad! Thank God u said your husband help with the kids! Focus on your kids and live your old man alone, pray for him to repent so that he will make heaven!
Being a homemaker is a 24-hour responsibility. Yes, you will have more time to yourself after 18 years--or once you become an empty-nester. But in between, you may become ill or exhausted. And that's when the husband needs to pick up his cross and help around the home. To do so is to honor his wife.
Agree with that. I was a full time homemaker raising our daughter with special needs and guess what? Anxiety came as a hurricane. Now I understand that yes, my job is taking care of our home and spendind time raising our daughter, but us homemakers need a break, and taking a break doesn't mean leaving the lunch dishes to wash them after dinner it means having my husband taking care of them. I don't expect my husband to make dinner when he arrives home after work, but the both of us are human, and as sometimes I help him with part of his job, I sometimes need help as well. As we have always say: we are a team, and it is healthy to understand that we are just humans and sometimes wue need help and rest. ❤
I don't know any married mothers who do not work a full forty plus hour week. In 1978 I knew of one. When both parents work it is unfair to expect the mother to do everything by herself and yet all the latest studies show women still do the lion's share of the housework here in Australia
My husband is working in a Kindergarten while I am a scientist. We are both parents an no one has any specific role. For us this works. I wish you all that your choices work for you as well!
I’ve known several SAHM who did lion share of housework then after those 20 years their husband expects them to get a job. I definitely think SAHM need to ensure their partners are investing and have set up for their retirement.
Very insightful! I am still newly married (2 years) & I’m learning these lessons everyday! I’m grateful for my husband, and his daily selflessness 🙏🏾 I actually enjoy serving him, and tending to our home with joy. 🤍 Also, you have a beautiful home Joyce ☺️
My husband does baths, homework, etc. My husband take the kids out so i can have free time. My husband also loves to cook and helps to cook on a weekly basis. My husband loves to cook for me and the kids. My husband would NEVER not help to care for our children.
Whew! This is so good- I’ve listened to it twice! This video speaks directly to my season, a new homemaker and housewife/mother of our four children after deciding not to return to work after Covid.
I’m not a wife, I’m a single mom (due to domestic violence) This message has given me great perspective on my circumstances. I need to be grateful for my hard struggles because when my husband comes along I will be more than ready without any complaints (I do believe spiritually God removed my daughters father from my life so I could appreciate all of Gods gift even the smallest ones. Looking back Now I can see how ungrateful I was in my past relationship. Wanting more than what he could provide and complaining about it. I even blamed single moms for their horrible life decisions (I didn’t speak it out loud but God knew my heart and thoughts) and was boastful about having a “good man”. God has a funny way of leveling the playing fields ). Gods just preparing me by having me struggle and raise a toddler on my own with no help. It’s very hard but God is pruning me in this season. When God sends me my husband I will never part my lips to complain or make his life anything but blissful. You are very blessed to have a husband cherish Gods gift 🎁
Yes this! I was a single mom for 7 years (divorced) and now that I am remarried I appreciate everything so much more. I’m just not going to worry or argue about clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink. But just do what needs to be done joyfully. He works hard and takes an active role with our family. 🥰
I have an 83 year old friend who never helped with his kids. As a result, he never bonded with his children. And they resent him for it. He has no relationship with them.
So interesting that you talk about this. My mom went to a prestigious college, got a prestigious degree, and got a very successful job after, at around which time she married my dad. But when she was pregnant with her first child, she quit her job and ever since put her all into child rearing, homemaking, and homeschooling. I've got plenty of siblings, so essentially Mom always had her hands full with at least 1 kid age 5 or under for, well, about 20 years. But now that we older siblings are grown and able to take care of ourselves and help out with our younger siblings, Mom has had time to pick up hobbies, learn new skills, and even start small businesses. Dad is still working to provide for the household and has focused on that all along. It's cool to see how clearly, while Mom and Dad could take opposite roles, in choosing to specialize in their comparative advantage (economics term), they've been all the more effective as parents.
As a single mom this is extremely difficult. God has really blessed me as a single mom. I have a full time job in the home and a full time job working. I’ll have to pray and ask God to help me with order…
I’m loving your content Bendi!! It’s so nice to have a black sister who is also a Christian homemaker and doesn’t complain about her role!! I’m so inspired and I’m defo going to read this book!!
“The antidote to entitlement is gratitude.” That was so beautiful. Thank you so much for this beautiful message. I agree with this kind of femininity and way to be a wife and mother,
This is real feminity. I've been a sahm for almost 6 years and I struggled with the bitterness of my work at home. I grew up in a single family home where I saw my mom do everything. It was sooo hard finally excepting this but my Pastor and first lady display and teach this with no shame. There lives reflect a life of this and as a result, they have 4 grown children who are celibate and my first lady has a successful baking business (in that season of her life) where she's getting ready to put her product in multiple grocery stores. She stayed in her season just like you described and developed her cooking/baking skills while maintaining her home and she's now seeing the fruit of her labor. As young women, we believe we are sacrificing the best years of our lives but it's just the opposite, we are investing into our children/husbands and ultimately ourselves.
Wait, my mom had her youngest when she was 45. My oldest brother was 21 when he was born. I don’t know where you get the twenty years from. She’s been homeschooling for 30 years and is still in the thick of it. My job as a homemaker/stay at home mom is way more physically challenging than my husbands who makes excellent money but is also on a computer all day, so why exactly should I be keeping him off his feet? I mean I would like to but it’s not physically feasible. We have three kids 3 and under and I am sweaty and exhausted by the end of a day taking care of our kids. Not least because two of them are still nursing and I am only 10 weeks postpartum from our youngest. If people want to talk about tradition it needs to be acknowledged when women’s bodies are simply depleted and that men aren’t really doing traditional careers anyway (aka he might make more money sitting on his butt most of the day and doing software engineering than by the sweat of his brow), while I am about ready to pass out from sheer sleep deprivation.
Right. I do everything and work a part time job and get up several times a night feeding my 15 month old. She doesn't sleep through the night, unfortunately. My husband makes really good money, but only fuels on average three trains a night, so he games and takes naps and watches tv. I mowed and did yard work and indoor work with my 20 pound baby on my back. Id like to see a guys rake leaves for two ours with a 20lb baby on there back and be sleep deprived and go to work. I also and reading the inside of our house. Which means I have to fix things and move heavy things by myself. Thanks for letting me rant. Haha I think guys should help a little around the house. It shouldn't all fall on the woman.
Right! I don't know this woman who doesn't know what to do with her time. You are still very busy if your kids are school age. Many men enjoy retirement for 20 years with their wife taking care of them. I do think there should be a division of labor, but it shouldn't be rigid. It should fit the family and stage of life they are in. I am grateful I get to stay home with my kids. I often feel like I'm on my own though and that shouldn't be.
So true 👍 I'm sending last of 5 off to college after homeschooling 22 years. Ask kids fly the nest- mom has to pick up jobs they've helped with - yardwork, pets, even putting groceries away.
@@cindywright2643 my moms finding this too. She’s just as busy as she had us trained to help out. She’s also helping with grandkids, at least I’m prepared.
Absolutely. And when you think about biblical times, there were always other women around to help with the children. When people lived more communally it made sense that the man worked all day and the woman did all the household and children stuff. We don’t live like that really anymore. I don’t have 2-3 other women in my household to help me. I only have my husband. He sits all day for work. I am up moving around all day. When he’s off work, I make dinner, he entertains the kids. The whole house hold helps with dinner cleanup and tidying up so that mom and dad can both enjoy their evening.
Oh boy. The piece on adaptability is definitely one I’m currently working through! Being a wife, comes with so many lessons. And the pill to swallow my plans as to where you live and etc has been rough. But I’m fairly new in my marriage and remembering that he’s the provider, the one who’s going to care for the family for this lifetime has made me cope with letting my inflexibility go. To anyone going through this, or have yet to- I’m send you much love and light!
Can I just say that I totally love your home...!!!! I'm getting lots of inspirations for mine. I love the blinds instead of curtains. Makes it easier to clean as curtains can trap alot of dust and pollens. I also love your minimal home, it's simple and uncluttered, the way I like it. Your front porch 😍😍 I love that sitting arrangement outside, so relaxing. I'm a stay home mom of three here in Nigeria. Your contents are just divine!! I'm gently soaking them in. It's very helpful to me in my homemaking. My husband currently works in a different state from where our kids and I stay. When he comes home to visit he helps alot with the kids and it's such a relief for me. Just before he left he commented that he won't miss waking up early to give them a bath for school. I naturally expect him to help me with chores at home and the care of our children. He has never complained and I've come to expect it. But after he made that comment I started to ask myself what if he starts to expect me to contribute to our family income which is his responsibility. As I expect him to help at home, which is my responsibility.. As I watched this content, it completely resonates with my line of thought. I need to bring out my adjustment tools. Please could you put all the videos you shared on the proper care and feeding of husbands into a playlist? I don't want to miss any. Thank you so much.
Husbands and fathers should absolutely need to participate in the raising of his children. I've always hated when women say, "my husband helps with our kids", or if the mom has to go somewhere and leaves the children with their father, they say, "he's babysitting the kids". No! He's not "helping" or "babysitting". He's doing his job. He's parenting. He's being a father. He's spending time with his children. My now ex husband took for granted everything I did in our home until I had to leave for 30 days for my job. He was on his own with our children. Only then did he get a full understanding of how much I do in the home, because even though we both worked outside of the home, I still did the lions share of the housework, grocery shopping, laundry, bathing the kids, etc. After that he started helping out more with these things. He realized just how much work goes into being a wife and mother. I also get debilitating migraines, and they have, at times, landed me in the emergency room, and/or in bed. If he didn't "help out" with his children during these times, nothing would have gotten done. The kids wouldn't have been fed, bathed, etc. It's called parenting ladies. And don't get it twisted.... I'm not a feminist in any sense of the word, but just because women don't work outside of the home, it doesn't mean they don't work. Yes women have their roles in the home, but it is not the sole job of the man to put a roof over our heads, put food on the table and then it ends at that. That's a load of poo. If he can't handle being asked to participate in the home and the family... I just have no words. And no, wives aren't a "burden". That's crazy to me! Wives and children are a blessing to the husbands and fathers!! They should never be thought of as a burden!!! That's probably the most disturbing statement in this entire video. Also, teach your children how to do some of the household chores. It gives them a good work ethic, it teaches them responsibility, and prepares them for going out on their own, when they are grown. Fathers and children shouldn't just do whatever they want and expect the wife and mom to clean up after them. Smh.... having real issues with this video the more I listen.
As an older single woman your content doesn’t apply to me directly. I have only seen a couple of your videos. I am amazed by the number of woman who are watching you and embracing your message. It’s very encouraging! Structure within the home is a rare commodity. Bless you ❤️
Thank you Bindi - I’m still young and trying to finish up my degree but I grew up with a very muscline parent so these videos kind of help me to tone it down a a bit and show me that being a woman and myself sometimes isn’t such a bad thing.
Well I’m the breadwinner, and my husband and I both work outside of the home, therefore he definitely is expected to do his share of housework 😁. Though I do agree that if a husband is the only person working outside of the home and his wife is a mother and homemaker, she would be doing the majority of the housework. However - as most people who have been happily married for a while know - the more a husband helps out his wife in those cases, the better the marriage seems to go. The wife is happier, less stressed and feels more valued and not taken for granted.
As a pregnant SAHM with a 2 year old, I was just contemplating exactly what you were talking about regarding the woman working 20 years and then having freedom while the man is responsible for life. Another thing to add is that it’s nice having your children in your twenties. I have many friends who start having kids mid thirties, which that’s totally fine, but they won’t have that freedom until much later. Even if it’s a matter of 7-10 years with kids out of the house, when your older a difference of a decade really matters. I had my first baby when I was 27 and likely my last at 29, and I imagine the last one will be out of the house when I’m 49 at the latest, so that’s a whole decade in my 50s I get for me. I know some people are sad to be empty nesters and don’t know what to do with their time, but I’m actually excited to travel, volunteer, focus on homemaking more etc. when thinking of the entire picture of my life, it makes those really tough times a little easier when having perspective.
We so easily throw in the isms and make life so complicated. This time ageism in child bearing. Folks will now be pressured to have children in their twenties or something will be wrong with them. Some of us in this age would have thrown out Abraham and Sarah from our circles.
@@jenniferbrown8568 The problem I see with many of my friends who waited until their 30s (by choice-not counting infertility issues) is they had that taste of 'freedom' & do NOT want to give it up. Plus, they tend to be more tired than a mom in her 20s. My college best friend is a great example. We are both 42. I have been married almost 20 years - I have 19 & 16 yr olds. She has been married 6 yrs with a 5 yr old. In her letters, all she does is complain about not having the freedom to come & go as she pleases & how her child annoys her. She wants alone time. She could not wait to go back to work after maternity leave. She had to have her mom move in to nanny the child & her mom complained to me that she does all the child care - her daughter spends 1 hour a day with him. she asked me once how I could stand to be up all night with a baby, stay home & not have vacations/girls night/work out time...I succinctly told her that I was 10 years younger than her & simply had more energy when they were little. Now, I can come & go as I please. Hubby & I bought a harley davidson & can leave our kids home alone to go riding, dinner, little trips, etc...I never missed the "freedom" in my 20s cuz I wasn't used to having it. I am learning to enjoy it NOW & I am still pretty young. And the great thing is that I am enjoying it with my husband in my 40s, not some random string of boyfriends, trying to find just the right one. This one friend in not an isolated case that I am aware of & they all have the same exact complaints.
I don't agree with our current feminist culture either, but I do think some men share the responsibility of why our culture has become this way. Some men especially in our black culture have chosen to abandon their provider role that God has given them, leaving women to have to do it themselves.
This past Sunday afternoon at the grocery store I bought a watermelon and I couldn’t get it out of the cart - I looked around saw a man about my age, 61-ish, and asked for help. He gladly rushed over and put it in the back of my car. I thanked him as he walked away - he turned around and had the biggest smile and said that I had just made his day!
When my husband I were preparing to get married, a wise mentor/friend of my, now husband and I, told us that the man is the “Railing at the edge of the cliff”. That visual still sticks with us. For him, he knows that if he isn’t solid, I can’t be solid. For me, it’s a constant reminder of how important it is to help support him and not ONLY lean on him or try and demand more than he can give. Love this, Bindi. Thanks for sharing such great wisdom with such love
Baking tips: crack eggs in a separate dish to avoid getting egg shells in your batter. Mix eggs in the separate dish before adding to the recipe. This also reduces chances of overmixed batter or dough which can change the texture of your baked goods.
Being a homemaker was the hardest most wonderful opportunity I've had in this lifetime. I'm 65 and my husband never did housework. That was my job and I was very grateful to have been able to stay home with our 3 boys. I had dinner on our table at 6pm just like my mother. I am thrilled to see a young woman promoting these God given roles. The hand that rocks the cradle...rules the world.
Yes if you want to look at that way. I considered it an honor and a blessing. I didn't have a boss, my husband let me handle the finances. Each month I got out my shoebox with the bills and wrote checks from the paycheck he deposited. I could spend what I wanted within reason. He was an excellent provider and often worked 2 jobs. So no it wasn't just the 40 hours. I always had a vehicle even tho 2nd hand was in good running condition. Always had a nice home and food on the table. I feel fortunate to have spent the most important formative years with our children. It's all in how you look at it. I prefer an attitude of gratitude.
It's beautiful to watch how you've grown into the amazing woman you are. You and your family are blessed and the work you're doing here on TH-cam is, not only special, but important.
I’m now settling into life after 65. It’s hard to believe how fast time has gone! I still think of homemaking as a job. My husband is now retired and is finding his new niche. “Patience!”I say. Stop and smell those roses 🌹
This is my first comment on TH-cam and it took everything in me to talk myself into leaving this here. I feel very nervous. I watched your whole video even though I don't agree with some of your beliefs, but I really appreciate hearing them anyway. I strive to live a well balanced a life and have been struggling with being a homemaker - without children but it's still difficult for me. I never wanted this for myself and I've been taking steps to understand how I was expected to have a job and care for the house when I lived with my Parents (parentification) and why it's okay that I don't now get a day off taking care of the house when living with a spouse yet he gets to come home and relax. I personally can't work as I'm disabled so I really feel like I need to contribute any way I can but it still is difficult sometimes for me. Your video helped me reinforce some of the things I was thinking were the right things for me, like making things easier at home so it's not as stressful all day for him. I still insisted to have small help at home, very simple things like he doesn't have to do dishes but to make sure they get to the sink, and to check his own clothes pockets before he throws things in with the dirty clothes. I disagree with holding back and not talking to him about problems and things, but I do think both sides should learn to communicate effectively and calmly which can relieve stress in both sides and make usually stressful talks easier. I also think that once you have a child, it's not just a 20 year commitment, especially if you have multiple children that were born at least a few years apart. In this day and age it's common for children to live with their Parents into their 20's and many end up moving out and then back in with their Parents at least once. Again, thank you for your opinion on this topic, I think it's important to foster an environment much like you spoke of fostering at home for your Husband, here on the internet- a place where we can relax and talk, even if it's about something polarizing such as this. I hope you have many level headed conversations with others about this topic.
Please make it clear that the man is providing for the whole household financially . A lot of times and in my situation my husband is not providing for all the expenses in the home and I have to work full-time to contribute to the home as well as the children. He will need to be more or at least half of the work for chores and care for the children if he is not paying all the bills. I am tired of men requesting this lifestyle but are not providing for this lifestyle. I have no problem with becoming a at stay home wife and mother but all my finances should be covered by my husband and we are comfortable.
Ive been married for about 15 years and i have worked before( army) and i would never expect to work after that so i would never require that of my husband. The way I see it is if he asked me after doing my housework to try to find a way to assist him in providing I would have negative feelings toward it so I feel it's exact same thing after him doing his job to expect him to come home and help me with mine
I do believe that a man's responsibility is the basics but I would also like to think a man that loves his family doesn't want to do the bare minimum just like homemakers I don't want to just give my Is family a clean home and plate of food I want to want to go the extra mile, decorate host slumber parties etc.
@@athomewithtroy1690 I think what you've described is what most men strive for. Typically, a man wants the best for his family. That segment was more on what if the husband's best is simply not good enough for the wife? She should choose contentment. Even in worse situations where a husband is truly lazy and just does the bare minimum (but is still providing the necessities), I would still encourage that woman to choose contentment so as to not jeopardize her own joy and peace and pray to the Lord about situations beyond her direct control.
@@chrisharris2367 exactly. I love a very clean house but my better half loves to cook and only wants his food a certain way ... and I hate cooking. I am a good cook but I hate cooking. So I look after the house and baby and he handles the food side.
@@jenealeverett2269 It’s not and anyone who teaches there should not be a balance in all things, is teaching legalism. Husbands and wives should be helping each other. If one says, that is not my role, and refuses to help, is not being Christ-like.
Where were you 14 years ago when I was a newlywed🤔😅? Any woman considering marriage needs this video on rotation! Thank you for being obedient to God in sharing these insights.
My Husband is a true Blessing from God!! He is the whole package a real man that is Helpful in every way which makes me want to create and bring nothing but peace to him in every way!!
Wow🤯 Recently my husband of 6 years confronted me about hindering his masculinity. I honestly thought he was being absurd. Thank you so much for sharing such wisdom that I’ve never seen molded nor have ever been taught. And thank you as well for being so transparent in sharing your own struggles and how you seek God in prayer about it! I greatly appreciate you shining your light and most definitely being salt in this bland society!
I recently realized I was hindering my husbands masculinity. It’s just such a natural part of our society now to degrade and dishonor men. This video is so amazing! It is so peaceful to watch her fix up her lovely home. I recently learned more about men and masculinity by listening to a podcast called Renaissance of Men interview with Allison Armstrong. You might enjoy it. God bless you and your husband.
@@hza1203I'll definitely check it out. I was certain my man would propose. I was confident in his love. That God brought us together. Unfortunately I emasculated him and he left! I didn't mean to do this. To degrade him. I grew up in a very abusive home. I apologized to him but he went MIA.
I really feel for the younger generation. No chivalry and the women are too independent. It's a strategy of the enemy to cause confusion and wreak havoc. I love being a feminine woman. It also bugs me when a woman is showing emotion over, let's say someone dying. Then they apologize for beginning to weep.
It's nice to hear this perspective. As a married woman of two little ones, I have had some of these very thoughts concerning my husband helping after work. I found myself bitter and upset just like you said. And, today I'm still trying to change my way of thinking to a more positive attitude. So glad I found your channel bc the world has changed the role of a woman so much, and also my way of thinking. It's a daily work for me to change my mindset, but I'm getting there. Thank you 4 your perspective.
Keep in mind even if he doesn't have a physical job, he might be as mentally drained as you are, if not more. He might be working in a high-stress environment and be keeping a lot of the details from you, he might have a brutal commute, and if he does have a physical job, the older you get the more it takes out of you. For the majority of men, work is just that, work. Very few are lucky enough to have a challenging career they truly love, and when you have a family to support, you have to be a lot more cautious. Most guys mean well and try to help out, but it's just as unfair to expect him to wade right in without a beat and take over after he's been working all day, just as the "second shift" is unfair to women. Also, it's never too early to start kids on the household chores. It should be expected, not something they do for money, so they'll be able to run their own households as adults.
Guy's perspective here--I grew up in a traditional home and my wife and I have a pretty traditional sex-based division of labor. Once she got over her feeling that she "should" be doing traditionally male tasks, she acknowledged she didn't really like mowing the lawn or draining the water heater and got a lot more satisfaction from a perfectly ordered pantry and laundry room than I probably would. It's a myth really that our dads treated our mothers like servants and just sat on their behinds and watched TV while mom slaved away. My dad (who had a highly stressful job with long hours) did the usual dad chores like major repairs, installing ceiling fans, unclogging the toilet, taking care of the car and the yard, etc while mom did the traditional mother things. He didn't leave the childcare entirely to her but his style was different in the way men and women are different. Mom was extremely organized and ran the household like a CEO and he respected that and left her to it. There were 6 of us (common in those days) so we kept each other occupied and the parenting style of the times didn't require mom to wear herself out by focusing on us like a laser 24/7. As you yourself point out, the really exhausting years have a time limit, and it's not even 20 years, it's more like however many years it takes till the youngest kid goes to school, and she has the house to herself for at least 6 hours a day. When I say my dad had a high-stress job, he was in telecommunications in the USAF through the height of the Cold War, including 2 tours in Vietnam. He also got his degree going to school at night while I was a kid. He retired in the 90s after almost 40 years, long after the youngest of us had left home.
you're right in that it is not even 20 years. in my grandmother's day she was by herself most of the time (her husband worked in abother coubtry and only came back every 2 or 3 years) but the older siblibgs were a great help with the younger ones. Plus the boys all left home at 14 and 16years of age to find a job in another coubtry and send money to the family. I'm talking of the 1950s.
@@bambubombon my dad had a similar upbringing in the Depression, though the entire family--10 kids--split up when the bank took their little ranch. My grandmother and the four youngest (including my dad) and went to work 3 states away in a textile mill. The older kids and my grandfather went to work in various large work programs like building roads and 2 worked on the Hoover Dam. When WW2 began, the entire family reconvened to work in the war effort. 4 of my uncles and an aunt spent the war in uniform and 2 younger ones and both parents worked in fabrication plants. Despite all this none of them felt they had a harsh childhood. Everyone around them was in the same boat. It made them all very resourceful and resilient and very committed to family and country. It makes me laugh when young people now deride the older generation as destroying the environment. They lived the "sustainable" ethos in a way you can't comprehend today. Gender relations aside, it was an example of how easy lives make people create problems where they don't exist. I know my grandmother would have been so thrilled to have machines that washed and dried clothes for her and been able to cook a chicken for dinner she didn't have to kill first, it wouldn't have occurred to her to be mad at my grandfather for not doing the laundry after an entire day outside working cattle and fixing the 1200 things that break daily on a ranch.
@@texasred2702 I agree with you that in the olden times parents, and older and younger children just got on with it. They were hard times and each did their bit, and none of those people developed any bitterness later in life. I think in the olden times people had very little time to mull over what life supposedly owed them. Your grandmother cooking a chicken without having to kill it herself! that made me smile, because my grandmother had to do that too every so often to bring a broth to the table. Incidentally, how sad that the family lost their ranch. I thought things like that only happened with expensive mortgages on appartments and large houses from the 1990s and onwards. With such a large family I imagine the bank would have recovered their money sooner or later if they had been willing to find a way around it.
You have humbled me with this video. We are struggling financially right now, but we are not going without the necessities. I should be more grateful and quit expecting more, but be more grateful when my husband is able to give more. Thank you!
Sometimes you could be married to the wrong man as well....but that's another conversation ... because all of that sacrifice then sadness sounds like when a woman is married to the wrong person
All of the quotes you share are very true. it’s hard to listen to this advice when your home is filled with luxuries and beautiful things your husband has provided for you, but I know you’ve earned it so it’s just my desires of wanting a beautiful home that’s not being fulfilled.
I can't keep on top of one hundred percent of childcare and household duties. You are a stronger woman than I am. My house is a mess right now and I'm out of town helping my mom who just had surgery. I asked my husband to clean the house! I'm working on it but it is SO HARD. You are amazing.
I jumped here after commenting on background music in another video. I am sampling sections of this presentation and loving what I hear, namely your thoughtful, wisely cultivated, and well prepared message allowed to stand on it's own. Well done.
Some interesting thoughts to think about. I especially liked your bit about being content when he has provided, graciously accepting it. That’s so good! Must be awful for the man who feels it’s never enough.
Thank you for putting out these videos... I was compelled by God to quit my job because I had let my home completely fall apart. Three months later I'm still struggling to put it back together. These are wonderful guides on how I need to adapt myself to truly be the keeper of our home and my children. Thank you! 🙌
My question is , should I be upset that things don’t get fixed? I feel like I’m the only one who cares about repairs in the home. even if he notices it , he doesn’t care to fix it. I grew up with both my grandma and grandpa fixing things. More so my grandma because my grandpa lived in Vegas (so did she but she owned two homes & would come with us a lot- she never rested & still isn’t! she’s raising grandkids still, WORKING , taking care of the house AND she’s almost completely blind ) I don’t mind fixing things but I can’t always fix it all. Or even when I ask for the tools it takes him so long , days even weeks to supply it. I can’t depend on him to fix what’s broken in our home. Our table has been so wobbly I asked him many times to fix it. All he does is say okay and never does. It’s been over a month. Even our toilet seat! Maybe I’m just venting but I’m tired of asking for some help (with fixing broken things / repairs ) and waiting months or having to do it myself! I’ve got a 4 month old ,4 year old 10 year old.
I am very happily married and and am a Christian. I have a husband who loves that I am a professional and contribute financially. Despite making a bigger salary than him I am a submissive wife and he is very confident in his role as leader in my home. My home is my priority and I pride myself in maintaining a clean home and spending all of my time off with my children. I think the message has to be we don’t have to completely neglect our desires so long as our priorities remain God, our husband our children. As the leader of the home, a husband’s responsibility is to work in all areas of the home even the cleaning and cooking. This does not strip a man from his masculinity. A man and a woman’s ministry first and foremost is their home.
And providing for a family for a man should never be a burden but a blessing from God wow. Imagine telling your child they are a burden. I think the message needs to be more biblical than from the heart. The husband and wife are to conform to Jesus’s image. We are not a burden to Jesus and neither should your family be a burden to you. I think we need to focus on biblical teaching and not worldly books
I appreciate your thoughts and your taking the time to share them. While we have chosen very different paths, I trust that as daughters of the King we are both carrying out obedience to His Word as we understand it. ♥
@@chrisharris2367 my husband and I do not have roles or specific assignments our goals overlap and they are primarily to have a Christ centered home and to raise children with that in mind so we both attack daily tasks and try to give 100% of ourselves. We both work full time and he encourages me to do so. My money does not go to my own needs but to the needs of the home and our children so my salary benefits him just as much as me. It allows him more time and freedom to disciple our home. I myself know where my priorities are and make sure that I prioritize the home. The proverbs 31 woman worked and had helpers. Everyone’s marriage and situation is different but priorities should ultimately be the same
I think you mean YOUR husband's responsibility. Not mine. And not anyone else who does not agree with your ideology. A man's responsibility is not homemaking. That is not biblical.
I saw the title of this video and was immediately offended…. But I listened anyway. And I’m listening. I believe your perspective is wise because it’s godly. I homeschool my 4 children and take care of my home so it’s a clean and safe place, do all of the administrative tasks, keep the oil changed in van, and cook most meals. I have a wonderful husband who helps anytime i ask and even when I don’t. But I’m tempted to complain STILL, because he doesn’t complete a task as efficiently as I complete the same task. I’m repenting for that now. I’m taking all that you’ve said into consideration. Thank you for posting.
This was EXACTLY what i needed to hear as I've been studying out biblical practicals for becoming a better helper to my husband! Thanks so much for providing this much needed content!
Never thought of it that way! ✨ Eventually I’ll step into this role possibly, in about 5-7 years. My fiancé is in medical school. I’m a teacher. He has 3 years left and then residency. So I’m providing until he becomes a full time doctor in about 5 years. After that, I can transition into the full time homemaker role. I’ve always worked, so I’m scared to work as a homemaker lol. I can’t imagine what it’s like. So your videos are really helpful to see the range of possibilities as to what it can be! Im honestly excited for the journey, but I’m seeing areas where my adaptability is already being challenged! Pray for me as I grow into the wife and (eventually, prayerfully mother) that God wants me to be! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Cherise!!!! I'm watching this video and scrolling the comments and see you/ your comment!!! 😍 So cool! 🥰 I found this channel a week or so ago and am loving it. I've been a full time mom and homemaker for 4.5 years now and it is SUCH a blessing when I fully embrace it. Lots of opportunities for creativity, love, and joy. God will help you when the time comes ♥️ and glad to have seen you in the comments 🥰
There’s not a doubt in my mind that God has been working in your heart and you’ve been receptive. Thank you for your faithfulness to your own spiritual maturity and passing on what you are learning. Praying blessing over you and your family as you walk the path of righteousness ♥️
This was very interesting. My husband and I have a different set up - for 5 years he was a stay at home dad because I had a greater earning potential. It was so hard on him. He LOVED spending so much time with our kids but he hated not working. Now that all the kids are in school, he returned to the workforce and he is so happy to add financially to the family. Men are wired differently. To the point about helping with the kids - the kids NEED it. They NEED daddy to be involved and help mommy with them and spend time nurturing them too. It teaches them what a good, God loving man is like. It teaches the boys how to grow up to be like that. It teaches the girls what to look for in a partner as they get older. Super super important! Also, kids are only little for so long. He needs to make memories too. ❤️
Time stamp 12:45-13:19 spoke to me! I couldn't agree more, even though I've never paused to think of this...accepting his provisions, at any stage with grace and thus harboring joy in your marriage...mm!
So true! One of the worst things a wife can do to her husband is to make him feel that his best will never be enough. That really damages him at the core of his manhood, and makes him want to stop trying.
I LOVE that fold! I use the file method when organizing my drawers. Sometimes the shirts will fall open when other pieces are removed from the row. I'm definitely trying this, thank-you!
We need to be careful to distinguish between traditional womanhood and manhood, and Biblical womanhood and manhood. Most of what the Bible commands about children is directed at fathers - we need to study up! Raising children is not only a woman's job. Also, if we allow God to determine how many children he blesses us with, and take responsibility for their training and education, we won't be done in 20 years! But totally agree with being flexible and and content with our husband's provision!
Agreed. And I thought the same thing! My friend has 8 children, the oldest is 20 and the youmgest is 5. She did her 20 years and still has 15 more to go!
Amen! As Biblical Manhood He is the Head of the Household to Speak The Word (KJV)over his Wife and Into his Children! There are Specific Truths that The Dad is To Teach is Sons and Daughters! My Husband has always Spent time with Our Children when he comes home, Play Games, Discuss Things/ Had to Discipline! Talk with Them about the Word! When Babies Change a Diaper, Give a Bath. Now With Our Children being 23,21,16&15. He still Plays Games with 21,16&15 year old. We are in no Rush to have Our Children move out of the house. Our 23 year old Son has. We Still have Biblical Things we Need to Teach Our Daughter’s and Son’s. We Still have Much to do as Parents Discipling!
Personally, it's the lack of help preparing the kids for their future that stresses me. I'm not a single mother. The housework wouldn't feel so heavy if I knew he had my back with sending the kids off with life skills that a man teaches. Men have rolls beyond their career. That's biblical.
She is so right especially about the feminine role. You can still have this mindset as a single woman even though you are the sole provider. I'm a single woman with 4 kids and GOD has always provided for me and my family.. Material things will never be the center of my life, GOD is my provider and most important.
Recently I asked the Lord to change my heart and mind about homemaking, because the way I have been going about it has not been working. Negative thought patterns and examples from my childhood have me tripping over my own shoelaces. Then your videos started popping up on my feed. Thank you for taking the time to share the biblical wisdom the Lord has laid on your heart and for doing so with dignity and grace 👑 ❤️
Hey new subscriber here! I literally just started watching your channel a couple days ago. I’ve pretty much binged quite a few episodes in that time. And as a man watching this video I felt compelled to give a personal testimony that is currently happening in my marriage now.
The way I grew up, my mom did all the housework cooking cleaning and taking us to various extra curricular activities, but my Dad loved being with us too and teaching us things and just being very playful in general. That’s my model for an ideal balance in raising kids as a husband and wife.
As a man, everything you said spoke to my heart. How I wish content like this gets viral and more men and women get to hear this and see that. And most importantly LEARN how to fold clothes like a champ like you. 🤣 Thank you for putting out this video. It is very raw and relaxing.
My husband used to try to get me to share his burden in making money but as I drew closer to God I found myself pulled to be home with the kids and not making money. It's been a drastic change because it's allowed me to see things differently. I used to run around stressed and ignorant of how much my children were suffering. Now I try to make the home a place where my husband can be refreshed when he comes home 💗 I'm still struggling to managr it all, but i know that even in my efforts my family is being blessed.
Great point of view for a stay at home mom who's husband works full time. However , not everyone can afford this type of set up. When both partners work, both partners have to share the workload.
Bindi, Thankyou for sharing these homemaker series of videos with your followers. The Lord is using you for my heart’s posture when it comes to marriage. I’ll be celebrating 6 years of marriage this year. Let’s just say I could sure extend a little grace to my husband; the man the Lord gave to me to honor, love, and serve 💕. I had a date night with him a few weeks ago and had to apologize for many selfish things I’ve said / done in the past. Again, thank you Bindi. God bless you sister 🙏
16:45 I remember being 7 month pregnant Big as ever & was on a train in Chicago. Leaving work. No one gave up their seat for me. All these young men from all races. Black, white, Asian. None of them got up & I stood on the train for 20 mins until an older man (60s) got on. Sat down & saw me standing & quickly got up & offered his seat. I sat down but only for 10 mins because my stop came up. Younger men 40 & under don’t do chilvery because no one taught them. Now we are parents it’s our job to TEACH our sons this & TEACH our daughters to accept it. By the time I got home my feet were so swollen I had to set with my feet up. I told my boyfriend at the time (he’s my husband now) & he demanded to pick me up from now so I wouldn’t have to deal with that again.
Chicagoan here 👋🏼 And I have A similar story...When I was 6 or 7 months pregnant, a grown man - who looked forty something - literally ran ahead of me to be sure he got he got a seat on the approaching train. My husband started driving me shortly thereafter...
@@kendriap7725 yes ppl are so rude. That’s why I teach my two boys always open the door for a woman & offer a seat. I’m trying to raise them to be resepectful to women and elders all the time.
I think my mom is just as busy now as when the 8 of us were little 😂 she has cared for and buried my grandmas. You're right that it is different though and it's awesome to see how my parents relationship has blossomed in their "old age"
Thank you 😊 I am grateful for my Mom in Law because all Seven of her children are willing and able to do the dishes and cook. My husband was wonderful when I was not able to because of surgery and he was taught to ask, as was I , is there anything I can do to help? Generally I was glad to wait on him as he was tired from work and he was happy to interact with the children while I was busy with cooking. Thank you I appreciate your encouragement.
I used to be so tired on the weekends... all I wanted to do was sleep 😴...I saw my own Mom... how she worked to care for all the people she cared for... for so many years...GOD 🙏 bless her... may she rest in peace...
You are a Godsend! Yes to my husband the provider, thank you for articulating HIS burden! For us! Amen, Glory to God in the highest. And God bless our husbands.
The sigh of relief I experienced when my husband looked me in the eyes and said “your job is to be happy, not worry; I carry 100% of the weight of protecting and providing for our family”
wow… that’s so special 🥺🙏🤍 what a great husband!
😀
Wow ❤
He got a brother 😂😂
@@sylviajenkins4784 He’s the only child, and his cousins are ratchet unfortunately 😂😂
It’s so refreshing to hear someone speak to these traditional viewpoints in our toxic feministic culture. Love it! The only thing I disagreed with was a husband not having responsibility to “help” with his children. I don’t see the children as a part of the “work” to be divided between a husband and wife. They aren’t just the wives children, they are the husbands children too. He has dad responsibilities to connect with, love and develop a close relationship with his kids just as much as the mom. So when he gets home from work, I think he should be expected to connect with his kids and if that helps the wife out by allowing her to make dinner in peace, then that is a plus!
@Anna Rae this is so important and it’s even traditional. Men in former ages, especially working class, connected with kids by teaching them things pertaining to growing up and being responsible adults (work, chores, reading the scripture or entertaining them).
I think she was referring to the workload caused by children, not the actual children.
YES, my father helped. On his days off, we were with him and we did not have a choice to opt out. He would always say "you're coming with me to give your momma a break". He was a blue collar worker born in the 30's.
For sure
@@pepperminttea8155 Even then he should still help they’re his children too.
Just a side note... it's good to have the children help with folding laundry as it's a great time for conversations. The more they are included the better.
My grandmother was always on her feet taking care of the home, cooking food for a family of 6, sewing clothes, baking bread, growing her garden and tending to my grandfather's needs very well. The problem was that she never had time to sit down with her children and listen to their needs or even play with them because she was so busy making sure her husband was comfortable and the children suffered for it.
There's a balance in all this.
I appreciate your channel and your content.
Yes...I agree Balance...Everyone needs quiet time to be alone to grow as an individual as in a family! I agree," let men be men!"
I was a housewife and I was happy..however, when the children get older, it's better to already have a hobby or develop one...so when your husband or children ignore you, you can immerse yourself with God and your talent!!!!
True
the way you describe your grandmother is exactly how my mother described the life of her own mother: constantly busy always cooking, washing, working in the house. my mum complained she often ate in the kitchen standing up. In her spare time on Summer evebings she would gather her children to read aloud classic novels and then pray the rosary.
I agree. We often complain that our husbands are working too much and never has time for us. When he is home he is tired and needs the rest to get ready for the fixit jobs and other maintenance that needs doing, that maybe we cannot do. But then as moms and wives, we often do the same in caring for the daily chores of a home maker. We are so busy caring for our home and the family needs, that we do not spend any quality time with our children or husbands. Balance is the key and the most difficult thing to achieve. And I wished I had realized that in my younger years of raising our family.
Very much agree. The housewives of the 50s and 60s seemed to often be disconnected from their children and so overworked… it was just how it was and was expected
Great insight, as usual. One thing that I want to remind us of is that the homemaker has A LOT of control over how her days are spent. So, if she wants to stop working right after dinner, she can order her life to make it so, most of the time. When I was raising young kids, my husband was working full time and going to school full time, so that he could provide a better life for us. Even though I was a homeschooling mother of 4 young children, I didn't expect him to do one thing to help out around the house. He just didn't have the margin. Since I was on my own so much, I was very intentional about how I structured my days, and I was determined to be off duty by 8:00 when my kids went to bed. And most days, I made sure that the only thing left to do after dinner was to load the dishwasher with the dishes we ate on, bathe the kids, and put them to bed. How did I do this?
I limited my children's outside activities. They did dance, sports, art, etc, but I made sure that all of my free time was not spent driving kids around. I started dinner right after breakfast. That way, most of the prep dishes were out of the way early. I taught my kids to help out around the house, and assigned age-appropriate chores to be completed every day after school. I limited our possessions such as toys and clothes. That helped to keep the housework under control. I taught my children to go to bed at 8. If they were too old for that, they were allowed to spend an hour or so reading in their rooms before going to sleep. In short, I built my days around making sure that I was able to rest at night.
My husband is a loving man, and a great provider. But he has never had the kind of autonomy over his days that I do. Most men don't. Even if they are self-employed, they have to meet the demands and deadlines of their clients. I think that it is important for us to keep this in mind if we feel that we need our husbands' help with our job. There are seasons in life when we need an extra hand - sickness, pregnancy, etc. But for the most part, I think that we should focus on being grateful for the freedom that we have as homemakers, and structure our time so that we can take advantage of the flexibility that we have.
Well said. Thanks for sharing.
Truth
This is profound. I like what you said about limiting outside activities.
Your Bless!😇
I am very grateful for this comment. Thank you
A father should help with his children. Period. And a husband should at least clean up after hisself. And or help when he is off. Everything regarding the home shouldn’t fall on the wife.
Very important
Agreed. Homemaking and child rearing is not just laborious, it’s emotionally exhausting not to mention isolating.
My dad was a hardworking man but he had time for me.Homework and pressing uniforms were his duties.Thats the type of home I want and God bless me with that or none.
Very true
That is not what she is saying though. Often times I believe woman expect men to be a woman with a woman touch and that just is not what a man is. So I believe what she is saying is change your expectations. Or keep your expectations open.
My husband doesnt think that spending time with his child after work is ‘helping’. Its called parenting. And if you cant expect your husband, father of your children, parent his children, then you have a very skewed view of what parenting actually is.
I am a christian and have been for many many years and my father parented me, sometimes that allowed my
Mom to go to bible study, tend to herself and spend time with her friends. Mothers arent slaves to the home and kids jusy because they shouldnt complain. We should be more focused on raising men that PARENT their kids AND COOPORATE in keeping their home (where they also live) neat and clean. We both have jobs. I raise the kids, taxi them around, cook, clean and trust him to provide financial security. So we both work, one isnt more important than the other.
I don't think she is saying one is more important than the other. She is saying that a Mom's job is busy and sometimes hard. But, it does end after approximately 20 years. A husbands job continues until his 70's. I agree with her. I worked outside the home 3 12 hour shifts per week while raising my kids. I also maintained my home and finances while hubby worked 40+ a week. Yes, we worked together to raise the family. But, for approximately 20 years I put in more hours than him. Now, I still work 3 nights per week but I have 4 days to enjoy as I wish.
@@sheilafelix113 20 years of the work I'm putting in as a sahm will probably be the end of me, honestly. I'm exhausted. I hardly have time for a 10 minute shower, on my "down time" I'm doing chores like laundry etc. That my husband doesn't do, at the end of the day I'm almost near tears from complete burnout and I'm a very organized, efficient person. Telling woman that they only have to care for their children/keep a home/and care for their husband 24/7 for "only" 20 years is depressing.
And also untrue if your children have huge age gap plus let's not forget that you still have to take care of the house when they're gone etc.
I understand this feeling, & I’m not organized which affects my effectiveness. There’s so much, & I want to be great all I can while serving my family. It’s just tough & I amazed at how I manage to pour out of what I feel is a nearly empty glass. I’m told to enjoy these years, & I feel lucky just making it through the day most times. I struggle with depression & anxiety & have completely lost myself in marriage & motherhood. I’m always looking for ways to be better or effective, but I’m worn out & feel guilty & sometimes angry.
@@EFrey-xz4pu exactly. Because the mental burden doesnt end for us. I dont think God ever expects us to suffer in our roles, rather be considerate of our partners with MERCY and help in any way we can. It is a disservice to women And any primary caretaker/homemaker to tell them they should not expect help. And if you think parenting ends in 20 years you gotta be kidding me HAHA
Girl!!! Your way of folding shirts just changed my life🥰
Right?!?! I will be re-winding so I can study the how lol
I must learn this folding style wow 😲
That’s that Marie kondo method💪🏾
YES!! HALLELUJAH!!
I know; isn't it fantastic?! I'm also going to watch it again.
I feel like this might distract from our highest calling as Christians. We're called to lovingly serve one another. We're not called to stay within our boundary box and say: "Hey, that's your job, not my job". The husband should be proactive in serving his wife where he can and vice versa. Husbands are literally told to give themselves up for their wives, like Christ did! Ergo completely sacrificing their own interests. It does not say: "Once your day job is done, you can chill out and relax".
The woman is also referred to the man's helper in Genesis. If a husband struggles to provide, the wife should help him if she's able. Proverbs 31 shows great admiration for an industrious woman.
Spouses should be attentive to each other's needs as much as possible. The Bible says surprisingly little about genders roles compared to how much it speaks about humble service. It mentions briefly women as keepers at home, but it doesn't even take the time to define what that means. I think we ought to be very careful to neither conform the Bible to traditional gender roles nor modern ones.
Well said!
yes , well said
👏
I am a muslim woman, and I wholeheartedly agree with this. Our book also says little about the specifics of gender roles in the home. It says you cover each other. Leaving your wife to exhaust herself physically and mentally with homemaking, child bearing and child rearing so you can sit around at home is unacceptable to me. It is detrimental to the wife, the children and the whole family, which you are the head of. That’s not ok.
I'm 19 and à college student. While I'm in college I'm also preparing to be a wife. This channel is needed. ❤️❤️
Being a housewife myself,this applies once the kids are in school.Before that,raising little humans is something unlike anything else.Its 24 hours non stop,up all night,dirty all day emotionally, mentally and physically taxing thing.So it very much depends on how old the kids are .My husband works full time and even he sees how tough is when the kids are small.He helps me whenever he can because while he sleeps at night and I'm up all night.
Even when kids are older you need a break from routine. My father is 84 and when we were little, whenever he was off from work, he would take us with him whether we wanted to go or not "to give my mother a break". And my Father did not do easy work. He worked at a refinery and he still knew that he needed to give my mother a break. Which helped a lot when my mother was sick and had to have surgery.
Thank you for saying this. I have a 3 children, 3 and under at the moment and I’m sitting here wondering how I could possibly do everything without my husband’s help. I’m always trying to be a better mother and wife but at this stage maybe it is unreasonable to do every last task with 3 littles in tow and zero help.
Thank you for your comment. I really feel like a failure at the moment I have a 7 month old and a 2 year old. I get nothing done but basic cleaning meals and survival of the kids.
I am sleep deprived and my body hurts. And my husband helps so much and it shames me. And on the other hand I do want him to give me free time to help me get free time from the kids.
@@meinennamensagichnet you have nothing to be shameful about. It's normal. It's logic. It's reasonable.
@@meinennamensagichnet I think you are watching the wrong kind of channel. You are doing great, and it will get better and easier when they are a bit older. Be proud of yourself and keep in mind they are his children as much as yours.
I am a 21 year old unmarried college student and I benefit a lot from TH-cam channel. Your video on modesty encouraged me to begin my modesty and to get closer to God. I think God a lot that I came across your content. I really enjoyed this video there is lot of insight I hope I can apply when get married. Even though I am not a homemaker nor in a relationship i keep on watching those videos again and again because they always remind me to get closer to God.
You are doing the RIGHT thing young lady, keep it up! 🥰 Peace and Light to you🙏🏾
@@divinebynature019 Thank you
I’m a single Christian woman and this is a hard teaching to accept. I will keep listening because this is different than what I’ve seen or heard in my life.
This was hard for me too, but I listened to an incredible podcast called The Renaissance of Men interview with Allison Armstrong and it helped me so much to understand the traditional roles of men and women (I was cringing through some of it, but now it makes total sense and I’ve accepted it with a very happy heart). I have transformed from feminist to feminine.
I guess I’m struggling too cause this isn’t resonating with me at all. It’s not like once kids leave the nest there still aren’t home making tasks that need to be done on a daily basis. I love working. I don’t find it stressful. I do meaningful work that I care about. 37.5 hours a week and the idea of doing my professional job for 20-40 years appeals to me way more than solely 20 years of hard home labor.
@@klane280 You definitely do not need to be a housewife.
@@chichii_basi Thanks?
Yep! I hear you!! I love making my money and spending it!!!! I also make more than my husband and he does not care at all. Additionally, we will be able to provide a very comfortable lifestyle to our children. Last, God forbids anything happens to him, I have a retirement account to keep our family stable!. As far as cleaning, we can always hire someone to do that for us!.
First off- how many people watched the first part of this video several times so they could learn that fold? 😁 Second, it’s an unfortunate reality that these days, many, many women who have already worked in the home for 20 years are not getting to enter that season of a more rest and freedom because now they are raising their grandchildren. 😕
😂currently folding my kids clothes and I am thoroughly amused
I had the exact same thought about the grandparents who now don’t have rest because the millennials were not taught how to be proper home keepers and have not built their house on the word of God.
I’m 37 and had 10 years with my kids and am just learning all of this! I can’t believe how many arguments I could have avoided had I understood the deeper meaning behind our God given roles verses my brainwashed mind stuck in me mentality and self centered righteousness.
Thank God for guides the lost sheep like me back. I’ve found freedom and love like I never knew existed.
Search "Marie Kondo folding techniques"
Or, in my case, transitioned (as her only child) from caring for my family to taking care of my 92 yo mom who has dementia and is declining everyday. I have to do everything for her...Everything. And, she is uncooperative which makes it hard. On the bright side, AT LEAST she recognizes me!! My heart breaks for folks that have loved ones that DON'T recognize them!!!
Thankfully, my 2 adult children are doing a fantastic job of raising their littles! WHAT a blessing! It IS ridiculous how many grandparents are having to raise their grandchildren!
@@TheseSignsShallFollow Very well stated!! 😊
I’m a new Christian (2 years). My husband of 12 years is an atheist. He quit his job to homeschool our kids through the pandemic because I make 8 times more than him. ☹️ they are now back at school and he does tons around our house to fix it up (building a porch, yard work, painting etc) and he helps with the book keeping side of my business (I pay him as an employee) I cook and clean and we both care for kids (he’s a really involved dad, loves going on the field trips with them because their school is awesome and they go hiking and camping etc)
I pray he will find Christ and I’m trying my best to a biblical wife.
He still opens my jars of pickles and Carries my heavy things :)
Oh and I really liked this video! Not hating just reflecting on my life
Ypu sound like you're complaining tho ...
Thanks for your perspective! I love that you are praying for him to find Christ and to be a biblical wife. Praying for his salvation, as well!
@@misselle1430 about what?
@@ElleKay4Life your .... husband ????
I am proud of the fact that my husband has only done household chores while I was in my postpartum periods for two weeks after having our children. I do not expect him to do chores around the house, as that is my job and I do my best to make that possible. He does help me with the children and takes a huge role in their religious formation and I'm grateful to share that role. I never did understand how women expect their husbands to come home after working all day while they've been home...I didn't do his job, he shouldn't do mine. Him helping me is putting a roof over my head, clothes on my back and providing stability for our family.
He probably did not have coworkers who helped him with his job either.
I find myself coming back to your videos again and again even though I am not a homemaker, a housewife, nor a chrisitan woman. I come back because I teach many of the things you speak about and I share an understanding of what it means to be in a woman's role. Our society has made us women so masculine in nature, that we forget how to allow and surrender to the men around us even if we are single, dating, or not into men at all. The beauty of what you speak, I do value in many ways and this is why I continue to come back to your channel, alongside your hair is goregous and the modesty of clothes resonates with me! Thanks for being a fresh voice and giving us a peak into your beliefs and life.
I feel you, weather you are here for the hair, feminine perspective, home making encouragement, recipe inspiration, clothing inspiration, chit chat or Tea ☕️ this is a great safe space. I have never been a fan of folding but she makes it look fun 🤩.
@@phoeniciacloud1515 right!! The way she cleans and organizes makes me feel inspired lol and I love it
It's strange to hear a woman call another woman a burden. Following that logic, if a man is allowed to call his God given responsibilities a burden, what can women call theirs? I know what you meant (or maybe what the book meant; I was cleaning as I listened and may have missed what was your opinion and what were facts from the book) but the way that fell on my ears... . If I'm encouraged to see my homemaking and child-rearing responsibilities as a joy and a privilege, I would love to see men be encouraged towards the same godly perspective/mindset about his responsibilities.
Responsible? YES. Burden? NO. The responsibility/duty of taking care of a family won't be heavy, if the relationship between the husband and the HOLY SPIRIT GOD is deep and the wife is wise.
Maybe I am not a traditionalist but I do not agree with this ideology. I have stayed home for the last 16 yrs and have raised 2 children. My push back is that I do not think a man who provides financially is his only responsibility. I believe he also needs to invest in his family emotionally and spiritually. Obviously, his time is limited so there needs to be grace there. I am a big component of the father being present with the kids. I think kids who grow up with absent fathers has real hurt, regardless of the reason, legitimate or not. The thing kids remember is that dad wasn’t home and if he was home, he didn’t spend time with them. I think it is detrimental to a child’s upbringing. Children need both a father and a mother’s involvement and influence. It doesn’t matter what a superstar mom you are, it can not replace a father’s love and influence. To me, it is not a mathematical equation of equal work. That is narrow minded. The big picture is that our kids need both mom and dad for flourishing, especially during the younger years. For this reason, the 20 yr argument really doesn’t work. Now that my kids are teenagers, I am working. There is no resting period. As kids get older into adulthood, mothers are still invested (not to the same degree). And of course, as grandkids come into the picture that stage also has responsibilities.
Im 25 yrs old and i grew up with my dad in the house but he was never involved with my little brother and I; all i remember is him not being there at all; ive always seen my mom as my sole parent and my dad was just there to givr food and payed the bills (if he didnt waste it on Cigarettes and whiskey) i gotta say i was very damaged as a kid from not having a father figure in the home. Im living proof that you NEED both Mother and Father present physical, emotionally and helping you grow spirituality. My husband and I made it a promise to ourselves to be there in every aspect for our daughter. Him working hard and such is not an excuse to be absent cause he's too tired
@@KassandraChandler I agree too.Even something as little as reading them bedtime stories or asking how their day was ,sitting at the dinner table and having family co nveesation,.or going to grab some ice cream with the kids for some alone time with them even just for an hour ogee the weekend, or watch them play soccer in the back yard while sipping some juice or something,counts.
My husband had to learn this and it didn't come easy but I engorged it in love and made him see the benefit and God has been gracious.I let him go sometimes with his boys camping to do boys stuff for a couple of days and though a very bussy business man,.when it's family time-no phone calls and stuff like that.I promised myself, they are a gift and we will raise emotionally stable,. Happy,loved and secure children and won't send into the world broken children who have parents issues and take it out on other out there as God leads.Learnung each day and allow Him to order the Footsteps of our lives and I pray daily for wisdom and discernment and grace to know what to do,.when and how. Its a journey but we are not alone.Work In progress.
Yes, they call those dads "absent present fathers". Just because he works it does not mean he has no responsibility in teaching his child to read or anything else.
Absolutely agree.
@@KassandraChandler Respect that man for providing food, cloth and shelter! Once a man smokes and drink he will not that time for kids; He will prefer to chill with friends! Your mom new your Dad smokes and drinks b4 she married him! Hold your mother accountable for chosen your Dad! Thank God u said your husband help with the kids! Focus on your kids and live your old man alone, pray for him to repent so that he will make heaven!
Being a homemaker is a 24-hour responsibility. Yes, you will have more time to yourself after 18 years--or once you become an empty-nester. But in between, you may become ill or exhausted. And that's when the husband needs to pick up his cross and help around the home. To do so is to honor his wife.
Agree with that. I was a full time homemaker raising our daughter with special needs and guess what? Anxiety came as a hurricane. Now I understand that yes, my job is taking care of our home and spendind time raising our daughter, but us homemakers need a break, and taking a break doesn't mean leaving the lunch dishes to wash them after dinner it means having my husband taking care of them. I don't expect my husband to make dinner when he arrives home after work, but the both of us are human, and as sometimes I help him with part of his job, I sometimes need help as well. As we have always say: we are a team, and it is healthy to understand that we are just humans and sometimes wue need help and rest. ❤
I don't know any married mothers who do not work a full forty plus hour week. In 1978 I knew of one. When both parents work it is unfair to expect the mother to do everything by herself and yet all the latest studies show women still do the lion's share of the housework here in Australia
My husband is working in a Kindergarten while I am a scientist. We are both parents an no one has any specific role. For us this works. I wish you all that your choices work for you as well!
I’ve known several SAHM who did lion share of housework then after those 20 years their husband expects them to get a job. I definitely think SAHM need to ensure their partners are investing and have set up for their retirement.
I agree. Most women have to get a job once they are an empty nester!
That was my thought also!
This is huge
Very insightful! I am still newly married (2 years) & I’m learning these lessons everyday! I’m grateful for my husband, and his daily selflessness 🙏🏾 I actually enjoy serving him, and tending to our home with joy. 🤍 Also, you have a beautiful home Joyce ☺️
My husband does baths, homework, etc.
My husband take the kids out so i can have free time.
My husband also loves to cook and helps to cook on a weekly basis.
My husband loves to cook for me and the kids.
My husband would NEVER not help to care for our children.
I was sent this video. I’m so glad I for your content and wisdom Janice. That’s all imma say.
Whew! This is so good- I’ve listened to it twice! This video speaks directly to my season, a new homemaker and housewife/mother of our four children after deciding not to return to work after Covid.
I’m not a wife, I’m a single mom (due to domestic violence) This message has given me great perspective on my circumstances. I need to be grateful for my hard struggles because when my husband comes along I will be more than ready without any complaints (I do believe spiritually God removed my daughters father from my life so I could appreciate all of Gods gift even the smallest ones. Looking back Now I can see how ungrateful I was in my past relationship. Wanting more than what he could provide and complaining about it. I even blamed single moms for their horrible life decisions (I didn’t speak it out loud but God knew my heart and thoughts) and was boastful about having a “good man”. God has a funny way of leveling the playing fields ). Gods just preparing me by having me struggle and raise a toddler on my own with no help. It’s very hard but God is pruning me in this season. When God sends me my husband I will never part my lips to complain or make his life anything but blissful. You are very blessed to have a husband cherish Gods gift 🎁
Yes this! I was a single mom for 7 years (divorced) and now that I am remarried I appreciate everything so much more.
I’m just not going to worry or argue about clothes on the floor or dishes in the sink. But just do what needs to be done joyfully. He works hard and takes an active role with our family. 🥰
I have an 83 year old friend who never helped with his kids. As a result, he never bonded with his children. And they resent him for it. He has no relationship with them.
Facts. I know I always encouraged my ex and now my boys to try and bond. They resent him. It is soooo sad
So interesting that you talk about this. My mom went to a prestigious college, got a prestigious degree, and got a very successful job after, at around which time she married my dad. But when she was pregnant with her first child, she quit her job and ever since put her all into child rearing, homemaking, and homeschooling. I've got plenty of siblings, so essentially Mom always had her hands full with at least 1 kid age 5 or under for, well, about 20 years. But now that we older siblings are grown and able to take care of ourselves and help out with our younger siblings, Mom has had time to pick up hobbies, learn new skills, and even start small businesses. Dad is still working to provide for the household and has focused on that all along. It's cool to see how clearly, while Mom and Dad could take opposite roles, in choosing to specialize in their comparative advantage (economics term), they've been all the more effective as parents.
As a single mom this is extremely difficult. God has really blessed me as a single mom. I have a full time job in the home and a full time job working. I’ll have to pray and ask God to help me with order…
I’m loving your content Bendi!! It’s so nice to have a black sister who is also a Christian homemaker and doesn’t complain about her role!! I’m so inspired and I’m defo going to read this book!!
“The antidote to entitlement is gratitude.”
That was so beautiful. Thank you so much for this beautiful message. I agree with this kind of femininity and way to be a wife and mother,
This is real feminity. I've been a sahm for almost 6 years and I struggled with the bitterness of my work at home. I grew up in a single family home where I saw my mom do everything. It was sooo hard finally excepting this but my Pastor and first lady display and teach this with no shame. There lives reflect a life of this and as a result, they have 4 grown children who are celibate and my first lady has a successful baking business (in that season of her life) where she's getting ready to put her product in multiple grocery stores. She stayed in her season just like you described and developed her cooking/baking skills while maintaining her home and she's now seeing the fruit of her labor. As young women, we believe we are sacrificing the best years of our lives but it's just the opposite, we are investing into our children/husbands and ultimately ourselves.
Wait, my mom had her youngest when she was 45. My oldest brother was 21 when he was born. I don’t know where you get the twenty years from. She’s been homeschooling for 30 years and is still in the thick of it. My job as a homemaker/stay at home mom is way more physically challenging than my husbands who makes excellent money but is also on a computer all day, so why exactly should I be keeping him off his feet? I mean I would like to but it’s not physically feasible. We have three kids 3 and under and I am sweaty and exhausted by the end of a day taking care of our kids. Not least because two of them are still nursing and I am only 10 weeks postpartum from our youngest. If people want to talk about tradition it needs to be acknowledged when women’s bodies are simply depleted and that men aren’t really doing traditional careers anyway (aka he might make more money sitting on his butt most of the day and doing software engineering than by the sweat of his brow), while I am about ready to pass out from sheer sleep deprivation.
Right. I do everything and work a part time job and get up several times a night feeding my 15 month old. She doesn't sleep through the night, unfortunately. My husband makes really good money, but only fuels on average three trains a night, so he games and takes naps and watches tv. I mowed and did yard work and indoor work with my 20 pound baby on my back. Id like to see a guys rake leaves for two ours with a 20lb baby on there back and be sleep deprived and go to work. I also and reading the inside of our house. Which means I have to fix things and move heavy things by myself. Thanks for letting me rant. Haha I think guys should help a little around the house. It shouldn't all fall on the woman.
Right! I don't know this woman who doesn't know what to do with her time. You are still very busy if your kids are school age. Many men enjoy retirement for 20 years with their wife taking care of them. I do think there should be a division of labor, but it shouldn't be rigid. It should fit the family and stage of life they are in. I am grateful I get to stay home with my kids. I often feel like I'm on my own though and that shouldn't be.
So true 👍 I'm sending last of 5 off to college after homeschooling 22 years. Ask kids fly the nest- mom has to pick up jobs they've helped with - yardwork, pets, even putting groceries away.
@@cindywright2643 my moms finding this too. She’s just as busy as she had us trained to help out. She’s also helping with grandkids, at least I’m prepared.
Absolutely. And when you think about biblical times, there were always other women around to help with the children. When people lived more communally it made sense that the man worked all day and the woman did all the household and children stuff. We don’t live like that really anymore. I don’t have 2-3 other women in my household to help me. I only have my husband. He sits all day for work. I am up moving around all day. When he’s off work, I make dinner, he entertains the kids. The whole house hold helps with dinner cleanup and tidying up so that mom and dad can both enjoy their evening.
Oh boy. The piece on adaptability is definitely one I’m currently working through! Being a wife, comes with so many lessons. And the pill to swallow my plans as to where you live and etc has been rough. But I’m fairly new in my marriage and remembering that he’s the provider, the one who’s going to care for the family for this lifetime has made me cope with letting my inflexibility go. To anyone going through this, or have yet to- I’m send you much love and light!
I love this style of video. Watching you do homemaking activities with the voice over! 💜
Can I just say that I totally love your home...!!!! I'm getting lots of inspirations for mine. I love the blinds instead of curtains. Makes it easier to clean as curtains can trap alot of dust and pollens. I also love your minimal home, it's simple and uncluttered, the way I like it. Your front porch 😍😍
I love that sitting arrangement outside, so relaxing.
I'm a stay home mom of three here in Nigeria. Your contents are just divine!! I'm gently soaking them in. It's very helpful to me in my homemaking.
My husband currently works in a different state from where our kids and I stay. When he comes home to visit he helps alot with the kids and it's such a relief for me. Just before he left he commented that he won't miss waking up early to give them a bath for school. I naturally expect him to help me with chores at home and the care of our children. He has never complained and I've come to expect it. But after he made that comment I started to ask myself what if he starts to expect me to contribute to our family income which is his responsibility. As I expect him to help at home, which is my responsibility..
As I watched this content, it completely resonates with my line of thought. I need to bring out my adjustment tools.
Please could you put all the videos you shared on the proper care and feeding of husbands into a playlist? I don't want to miss any.
Thank you so much.
Husbands and fathers should absolutely need to participate in the raising of his children. I've always hated when women say, "my husband helps with our kids", or if the mom has to go somewhere and leaves the children with their father, they say, "he's babysitting the kids". No! He's not "helping" or "babysitting". He's doing his job. He's parenting. He's being a father. He's spending time with his children. My now ex husband took for granted everything I did in our home until I had to leave for 30 days for my job. He was on his own with our children. Only then did he get a full understanding of how much I do in the home, because even though we both worked outside of the home, I still did the lions share of the housework, grocery shopping, laundry, bathing the kids, etc. After that he started helping out more with these things. He realized just how much work goes into being a wife and mother. I also get debilitating migraines, and they have, at times, landed me in the emergency room, and/or in bed. If he didn't "help out" with his children during these times, nothing would have gotten done. The kids wouldn't have been fed, bathed, etc.
It's called parenting ladies.
And don't get it twisted.... I'm not a feminist in any sense of the word, but just because women don't work outside of the home, it doesn't mean they don't work. Yes women have their roles in the home, but it is not the sole job of the man to put a roof over our heads, put food on the table and then it ends at that. That's a load of poo. If he can't handle being asked to participate in the home and the family... I just have no words.
And no, wives aren't a "burden". That's crazy to me! Wives and children are a blessing to the husbands and fathers!! They should never be thought of as a burden!!! That's probably the most disturbing statement in this entire video.
Also, teach your children how to do some of the household chores. It gives them a good work ethic, it teaches them responsibility, and prepares them for going out on their own, when they are grown. Fathers and children shouldn't just do whatever they want and expect the wife and mom to clean up after them.
Smh.... having real issues with this video the more I listen.
As an older single woman your content doesn’t apply to me directly. I have only seen a couple of your videos. I am amazed by the number of woman who are watching you and embracing your message. It’s very encouraging! Structure within the home is a rare commodity.
Bless you ❤️
Thank you Bindi - I’m still young and trying to finish up my degree but I grew up with a very muscline parent so these videos kind of help me to tone it down a a bit and show me that being a woman and myself sometimes isn’t such a bad thing.
Well I’m the breadwinner, and my husband and I both work outside of the home, therefore he definitely is expected to do his share of housework 😁.
Though I do agree that if a husband is the only person working outside of the home and his wife is a mother and homemaker, she would be doing the majority of the housework. However - as most people who have been happily married for a while know - the more a husband helps out his wife in those cases, the better the marriage seems to go. The wife is happier, less stressed and feels more valued and not taken for granted.
As a pregnant SAHM with a 2 year old, I was just contemplating exactly what you were talking about regarding the woman working 20 years and then having freedom while the man is responsible for life. Another thing to add is that it’s nice having your children in your twenties. I have many friends who start having kids mid thirties, which that’s totally fine, but they won’t have that freedom until much later. Even if it’s a matter of 7-10 years with kids out of the house, when your older a difference of a decade really matters. I had my first baby when I was 27 and likely my last at 29, and I imagine the last one will be out of the house when I’m 49 at the latest, so that’s a whole decade in my 50s I get for me. I know some people are sad to be empty nesters and don’t know what to do with their time, but I’m actually excited to travel, volunteer, focus on homemaking more etc. when thinking of the entire picture of my life, it makes those really tough times a little easier when having perspective.
Having kids in mid thirties is cool they already had the freedom. They will never be the 40 year old trying to experience 20 year old things ! Ah ha
We so easily throw in the isms and make life so complicated. This time ageism in child bearing. Folks will now be pressured to have children in their twenties or something will be wrong with them. Some of us in this age would have thrown out Abraham and Sarah from our circles.
Don't forget, most women have to get a full time job once they are empty nesters and work another 20 years!
@@jenniferbrown8568 correct
@@jenniferbrown8568 The problem I see with many of my friends who waited until their 30s (by choice-not counting infertility issues) is they had that taste of 'freedom' & do NOT want to give it up. Plus, they tend to be more tired than a mom in her 20s. My college best friend is a great example. We are both 42. I have been married almost 20 years - I have 19 & 16 yr olds. She has been married 6 yrs with a 5 yr old. In her letters, all she does is complain about not having the freedom to come & go as she pleases & how her child annoys her. She wants alone time. She could not wait to go back to work after maternity leave. She had to have her mom move in to nanny the child & her mom complained to me that she does all the child care - her daughter spends 1 hour a day with him. she asked me once how I could stand to be up all night with a baby, stay home & not have vacations/girls night/work out time...I succinctly told her that I was 10 years younger than her & simply had more energy when they were little. Now, I can come & go as I please. Hubby & I bought a harley davidson & can leave our kids home alone to go riding, dinner, little trips, etc...I never missed the "freedom" in my 20s cuz I wasn't used to having it. I am learning to enjoy it NOW & I am still pretty young. And the great thing is that I am enjoying it with my husband in my 40s, not some random string of boyfriends, trying to find just the right one. This one friend in not an isolated case that I am aware of & they all have the same exact complaints.
I don't agree with our current feminist culture either, but I do think some men share the responsibility of why our culture has become this way. Some men especially in our black culture have chosen to abandon their provider role that God has given them, leaving women to have to do it themselves.
I absolutely agree, yes if they don't lead and aspire to be husbands /fathers, then where does it leave the women.
This past Sunday afternoon at the grocery store I bought a watermelon and I couldn’t get it out of the cart - I looked around saw a man about my age, 61-ish, and asked for help. He gladly rushed over and put it in the back of my car. I thanked him as he walked away - he turned around and had the biggest smile and said that I had just made his day!
I wish I had someone wise enough to share these things with me early in my marriage. I needed to hear so much of this
This video really opened my eyes to how much my husband helps 🙌🏾
Wow!! I’m impressed with the folding! I need a whole video dedicated to that
When my husband I were preparing to get married, a wise mentor/friend of my, now husband and I, told us that the man is the “Railing at the edge of the cliff”. That visual still sticks with us. For him, he knows that if he isn’t solid, I can’t be solid. For me, it’s a constant reminder of how important it is to help support him and not ONLY lean on him or try and demand more than he can give.
Love this, Bindi. Thanks for sharing such great wisdom with such love
Baking tips: crack eggs in a separate dish to avoid getting egg shells in your batter. Mix eggs in the separate dish before adding to the recipe. This also reduces chances of overmixed batter or dough which can change the texture of your baked goods.
Being a homemaker was the hardest most wonderful opportunity I've had in this lifetime. I'm 65 and my husband never did housework. That was my job and I was very grateful to have been able to stay home with our 3 boys. I had dinner on our table at 6pm just like my mother. I am thrilled to see a young woman promoting these God given roles. The hand that rocks the cradle...rules the world.
Men must be rocking the cradle because the world isn’t ruled by women
who did chores on the weekend? So your job was 24/7 and your husbands job was 40 hours?
Yes if you want to look at that way. I considered it an honor and a blessing. I didn't have a boss, my husband let me handle the finances. Each month I got out my shoebox with the bills and wrote checks from the paycheck he deposited. I could spend what I wanted within reason. He was an excellent provider and often worked 2 jobs. So no it wasn't just the 40 hours. I always had a vehicle even tho 2nd hand was in good running condition. Always had a nice home and food on the table. I feel fortunate to have spent the most important formative years with our children. It's all in how you look at it. I prefer an attitude of gratitude.
@@victree898 God bless you, that is awesome 💕
This works if you only have 3 kids. My mother had 12. My dad always pitched in making meals and general pickup.
It's beautiful to watch how you've grown into the amazing woman you are. You and your family are blessed and the work you're doing here on TH-cam is, not only special, but important.
I’m now settling into life after 65. It’s hard to believe how fast time has gone! I still think of homemaking as a job. My husband is now retired and is finding his new niche. “Patience!”I say. Stop and smell those roses 🌹
This is my first comment on TH-cam and it took everything in me to talk myself into leaving this here.
I feel very nervous.
I watched your whole video even though I don't agree with some of your beliefs, but I really appreciate hearing them anyway.
I strive to live a well balanced a life and have been struggling with being a homemaker - without children but it's still difficult for me.
I never wanted this for myself and I've been taking steps to understand how I was expected to have a job and care for the house when I lived with my Parents (parentification) and why it's okay that I don't now get a day off taking care of the house when living with a spouse yet he gets to come home and relax.
I personally can't work as I'm disabled so I really feel like I need to contribute any way I can but it still is difficult sometimes for me.
Your video helped me reinforce some of the things I was thinking were the right things for me, like making things easier at home so it's not as stressful all day for him.
I still insisted to have small help at home, very simple things like he doesn't have to do dishes but to make sure they get to the sink, and to check his own clothes pockets before he throws things in with the dirty clothes.
I disagree with holding back and not talking to him about problems and things, but I do think both sides should learn to communicate effectively and calmly which can relieve stress in both sides and make usually stressful talks easier.
I also think that once you have a child, it's not just a 20 year commitment, especially if you have multiple children that were
born at least a few years apart.
In this day and age it's common for children to live with their Parents into their 20's and many end up moving out and then back in with their Parents at least once.
Again, thank you for your opinion on this topic, I think it's important to foster an environment much like you spoke of fostering at home for your Husband, here on the internet- a place where we can relax and talk, even if it's about something polarizing such as this.
I hope you have many level headed conversations with others about this topic.
Please make it clear that the man is providing for the whole household financially . A lot of times and in my situation my husband is not providing for all the expenses in the home and I have to work full-time to contribute to the home as well as the children.
He will need to be more or at least half
of the work for chores and care for the children if he is not paying all the bills. I am tired of men requesting this lifestyle but are not providing for this lifestyle.
I have no problem with becoming a at stay home wife and mother but all my finances should be covered by my husband and we are comfortable.
Exactly!!!
Ive been married for about 15 years and i have worked before( army) and i would never expect to work after that so i would never require that of my husband. The way I see it is if he asked me after doing my housework to try to find a way to assist him in providing I would have negative feelings toward it so I feel it's exact same thing after him doing his job to expect him to come home and help me with mine
I do believe that a man's responsibility is the basics but I would also like to think a man that loves his family doesn't want to do the bare minimum just like homemakers I don't want to just give my Is family a clean home and plate of food I want to want to go the extra mile, decorate host slumber parties etc.
@@athomewithtroy1690 I think what you've described is what most men strive for. Typically, a man wants the best for his family. That segment was more on what if the husband's best is simply not good enough for the wife? She should choose contentment. Even in worse situations where a husband is truly lazy and just does the bare minimum (but is still providing the necessities), I would still encourage that woman to choose contentment so as to not jeopardize her own joy and peace and pray to the Lord about situations beyond her direct control.
@@chrisharris2367 exactly. I love a very clean house but my better half loves to cook and only wants his food a certain way ... and I hate cooking. I am a good cook but I hate cooking. So I look after the house and baby and he handles the food side.
What about during nights and weekends? Its hard for me to fathom a mothers job being 24/7 and the husbands job only being 40.
@@jenealeverett2269 It’s not and anyone who teaches there should not be a balance in all things, is teaching legalism. Husbands and wives should be helping each other. If one says, that is not my role, and refuses to help, is not being Christ-like.
My quote of the day: " The antidote to entitlement is gratitude" - Bindi J. Marc
Where were you 14 years ago when I was a newlywed🤔😅? Any woman considering marriage needs this video on rotation! Thank you for being obedient to God in sharing these insights.
My Husband is a true Blessing from God!! He is the whole package a real man that is Helpful in every way which makes me want to create and bring nothing but peace to him in every way!!
Wow🤯 Recently my husband of 6 years confronted me about hindering his masculinity. I honestly thought he was being absurd. Thank you so much for sharing such wisdom that I’ve never seen molded nor have ever been taught. And thank you as well for being so transparent in sharing your own struggles and how you seek God in prayer about it! I greatly appreciate you shining your light and most definitely being salt in this bland society!
I recently realized I was hindering my husbands masculinity. It’s just such a natural part of our society now to degrade and dishonor men. This video is so amazing! It is so peaceful to watch her fix up her lovely home. I recently learned more about men and masculinity by listening to a podcast called Renaissance of Men interview with Allison Armstrong. You might enjoy it. God bless you and your husband.
@@hza1203I'll definitely check it out. I was certain my man would propose. I was confident in his love. That God brought us together. Unfortunately I emasculated him and he left! I didn't mean to do this. To degrade him. I grew up in a very abusive home. I apologized to him but he went MIA.
I really feel for the younger generation. No chivalry and the women are too independent. It's a strategy of the enemy to cause confusion and wreak havoc. I love being a feminine woman. It also bugs me when a woman is showing emotion over, let's say someone dying. Then they apologize for beginning to weep.
It's nice to hear this perspective. As a married woman of two little ones, I have had some of these very thoughts concerning my husband helping after work. I found myself bitter and upset just like you said. And, today I'm still trying to change my way of thinking to a more positive attitude. So glad I found your channel bc the world has changed the role of a woman so much, and also my way of thinking. It's a daily work for me to change my mindset, but I'm getting there. Thank you 4 your perspective.
Keep in mind even if he doesn't have a physical job, he might be as mentally drained as you are, if not more. He might be working in a high-stress environment and be keeping a lot of the details from you, he might have a brutal commute, and if he does have a physical job, the older you get the more it takes out of you. For the majority of men, work is just that, work. Very few are lucky enough to have a challenging career they truly love, and when you have a family to support, you have to be a lot more cautious. Most guys mean well and try to help out, but it's just as unfair to expect him to wade right in without a beat and take over after he's been working all day, just as the "second shift" is unfair to women.
Also, it's never too early to start kids on the household chores. It should be expected, not something they do for money, so they'll be able to run their own households as adults.
Guy's perspective here--I grew up in a traditional home and my wife and I have a pretty traditional sex-based division of labor. Once she got over her feeling that she "should" be doing traditionally male tasks, she acknowledged she didn't really like mowing the lawn or draining the water heater and got a lot more satisfaction from a perfectly ordered pantry and laundry room than I probably would.
It's a myth really that our dads treated our mothers like servants and just sat on their behinds and watched TV while mom slaved away. My dad (who had a highly stressful job with long hours) did the usual dad chores like major repairs, installing ceiling fans, unclogging the toilet, taking care of the car and the yard, etc while mom did the traditional mother things. He didn't leave the childcare entirely to her but his style was different in the way men and women are different.
Mom was extremely organized and ran the household like a CEO and he respected that and left her to it. There were 6 of us (common in those days) so we kept each other occupied and the parenting style of the times didn't require mom to wear herself out by focusing on us like a laser 24/7.
As you yourself point out, the really exhausting years have a time limit, and it's not even 20 years, it's more like however many years it takes till the youngest kid goes to school, and she has the house to herself for at least 6 hours a day.
When I say my dad had a high-stress job, he was in telecommunications in the USAF through the height of the Cold War, including 2 tours in Vietnam. He also got his degree going to school at night while I was a kid. He retired in the 90s after almost 40 years, long after the youngest of us had left home.
Thank you for this. It’s amazing that it never occurred to me. I find it so helpful.
you're right in that it is not even 20 years. in my grandmother's day she was by herself most of the time (her husband worked in abother coubtry and only came back every 2 or 3 years) but the older siblibgs were a great help with the younger ones. Plus the boys all left home at 14 and 16years of age to find a job in another coubtry and send money to the family. I'm talking of the 1950s.
@@bambubombon my dad had a similar upbringing in the Depression, though the entire family--10 kids--split up when the bank took their little ranch. My grandmother and the four youngest (including my dad) and went to work 3 states away in a textile mill. The older kids and my grandfather went to work in various large work programs like building roads and 2 worked on the Hoover Dam. When WW2 began, the entire family reconvened to work in the war effort. 4 of my uncles and an aunt spent the war in uniform and 2 younger ones and both parents worked in fabrication plants. Despite all this none of them felt they had a harsh childhood. Everyone around them was in the same boat. It made them all very resourceful and resilient and very committed to family and country. It makes me laugh when young people now deride the older generation as destroying the environment. They lived the "sustainable" ethos in a way you can't comprehend today.
Gender relations aside, it was an example of how easy lives make people create problems where they don't exist. I know my grandmother would have been so thrilled to have machines that washed and dried clothes for her and been able to cook a chicken for dinner she didn't have to kill first, it wouldn't have occurred to her to be mad at my grandfather for not doing the laundry after an entire day outside working cattle and fixing the 1200 things that break daily on a ranch.
@@texasred2702 I agree with you that in the olden times parents, and older and younger children just got on with it. They were hard times and each did their bit, and none of those people developed any bitterness later in life. I think in the olden times people had very little time to mull over what life supposedly owed them. Your grandmother cooking a chicken without having to kill it herself! that made me smile, because my grandmother had to do that too every so often to bring a broth to the table. Incidentally, how sad that the family lost their ranch. I thought things like that only happened with expensive mortgages on appartments and large houses from the 1990s and onwards. With such a large family I imagine the bank would have recovered their money sooner or later if they had been willing to find a way around it.
You have humbled me with this video. We are struggling financially right now, but we are not going without the necessities. I should be more grateful and quit expecting more, but be more grateful when my husband is able to give more. Thank you!
I have actually been having issues with my husband because of this problem, thanks so much for this video and teaching
Sometimes you could be married to the wrong man as well....but that's another conversation ... because all of that sacrifice then sadness sounds like when a woman is married to the wrong person
All of the quotes you share are very true. it’s hard to listen to this advice when your home is filled with luxuries and beautiful things your husband has provided for you, but I know you’ve earned it so it’s just my desires of wanting a beautiful home that’s not being fulfilled.
I can't keep on top of one hundred percent of childcare and household duties. You are a stronger woman than I am. My house is a mess right now and I'm out of town helping my mom who just had surgery. I asked my husband to clean the house! I'm working on it but it is SO HARD. You are amazing.
I jumped here after commenting on background music in another video. I am sampling sections of this presentation and loving what I hear, namely your thoughtful, wisely cultivated, and well prepared message allowed to stand on it's own.
Well done.
Some interesting thoughts to think about. I especially liked your bit about being content when he has provided, graciously accepting it. That’s so good! Must be awful for the man who feels it’s never enough.
Thank you for putting out these videos... I was compelled by God to quit my job because I had let my home completely fall apart. Three months later I'm still struggling to put it back together. These are wonderful guides on how I need to adapt myself to truly be the keeper of our home and my children. Thank you! 🙌
My question is , should I be upset that things don’t get fixed? I feel like I’m the only one who cares about repairs in the home.
even if he notices it , he doesn’t care to fix it.
I grew up with both my grandma and grandpa fixing things.
More so my grandma because my grandpa lived in Vegas (so did she but she owned two homes & would come with us a lot- she never rested & still isn’t! she’s raising grandkids still, WORKING , taking care of the house AND she’s almost completely blind )
I don’t mind fixing things but I can’t always fix it all. Or even when I ask for the tools it takes him so long , days even weeks to supply it.
I can’t depend on him to fix what’s broken in our home.
Our table has been so wobbly I asked him many times to fix it. All he does is say okay and never does. It’s been over a month.
Even our toilet seat!
Maybe I’m just venting but I’m tired of asking for some help (with fixing broken things / repairs ) and waiting months or having to do it myself!
I’ve got a 4 month old ,4 year old 10 year old.
I am very happily married and and am a Christian. I have a husband who loves that I am a professional and contribute financially. Despite making a bigger salary than him I am a submissive wife and he is very confident in his role as leader in my home. My home is my priority and I pride myself in maintaining a clean home and spending all of my time off with my children. I think the message has to be we don’t have to completely neglect our desires so long as our priorities remain God, our husband our children. As the leader of the home, a husband’s responsibility is to work in all areas of the home even the cleaning and cooking. This does not strip a man from his masculinity. A man and a woman’s ministry first and foremost is their home.
And providing for a family for a man should never be a burden but a blessing from God wow. Imagine telling your child they are a burden. I think the message needs to be more biblical than from the heart. The husband and wife are to conform to Jesus’s image. We are not a burden to Jesus and neither should your family be a burden to you. I think we need to focus on biblical teaching and not worldly books
I appreciate your thoughts and your taking the time to share them. While we have chosen very different paths, I trust that as daughters of the King we are both carrying out obedience to His Word as we understand it. ♥
@@chrisharris2367 my husband and I do not have roles or specific assignments our goals overlap and they are primarily to have a Christ centered home and to raise children with that in mind so we both attack daily tasks and try to give 100% of ourselves. We both work full time and he encourages me to do so. My money does not go to my own needs but to the needs of the home and our children so my salary benefits him just as much as me. It allows him more time and freedom to disciple our home. I myself know where my priorities are and make sure that I prioritize the home. The proverbs 31 woman worked and had helpers. Everyone’s marriage and situation is different but priorities should ultimately be the same
Your wrong!!! Period.
I think you mean YOUR husband's responsibility. Not mine. And not anyone else who does not agree with your ideology. A man's responsibility is not homemaking. That is not biblical.
I saw the title of this video and was immediately offended…. But I listened anyway. And I’m listening. I believe your perspective is wise because it’s godly. I homeschool my 4 children and take care of my home so it’s a clean and safe place, do all of the administrative tasks, keep the oil changed in van, and cook most meals. I have a wonderful husband who helps anytime i ask and even when I don’t. But I’m tempted to complain STILL, because he doesn’t complete a task as efficiently as I complete the same task. I’m repenting for that now. I’m taking all that you’ve said into consideration. Thank you for posting.
"Let him make the living and you can make the life worth living..." Whew this is a worrddd
This was EXACTLY what i needed to hear as I've been studying out biblical practicals for becoming a better helper to my husband! Thanks so much for providing this much needed content!
Never thought of it that way! ✨
Eventually I’ll step into this role possibly, in about 5-7 years.
My fiancé is in medical school. I’m a teacher. He has 3 years left and then residency. So I’m providing until he becomes a full time doctor in about 5 years. After that, I can transition into the full time homemaker role.
I’ve always worked, so I’m scared to work as a homemaker lol. I can’t imagine what it’s like. So your videos are really helpful to see the range of possibilities as to what it can be!
Im honestly excited for the journey, but I’m seeing areas where my adaptability is already being challenged! Pray for me as I grow into the wife and (eventually, prayerfully mother) that God wants me to be! 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Cherise!!!! I'm watching this video and scrolling the comments and see you/ your comment!!! 😍 So cool! 🥰 I found this channel a week or so ago and am loving it. I've been a full time mom and homemaker for 4.5 years now and it is SUCH a blessing when I fully embrace it. Lots of opportunities for creativity, love, and joy. God will help you when the time comes ♥️ and glad to have seen you in the comments 🥰
There’s not a doubt in my mind that God has been working in your heart and you’ve been receptive. Thank you for your faithfulness to your own spiritual maturity and passing on what you are learning. Praying blessing over you and your family as you walk the path of righteousness ♥️
This was very interesting. My husband and I have a different set up - for 5 years he was a stay at home dad because I had a greater earning potential. It was so hard on him. He LOVED spending so much time with our kids but he hated not working. Now that all the kids are in school, he returned to the workforce and he is so happy to add financially to the family. Men are wired differently.
To the point about helping with the kids - the kids NEED it. They NEED daddy to be involved and help mommy with them and spend time nurturing them too. It teaches them what a good, God loving man is like. It teaches the boys how to grow up to be like that. It teaches the girls what to look for in a partner as they get older. Super super important! Also, kids are only little for so long. He needs to make memories too. ❤️
Time stamp 12:45-13:19 spoke to me! I couldn't agree more, even though I've never paused to think of this...accepting his provisions, at any stage with grace and thus harboring joy in your marriage...mm!
So true! One of the worst things a wife can do to her husband is to make him feel that his best will never be enough. That really damages him at the core of his manhood, and makes him want to stop trying.
@@chellybarnard6394 exactly
@@chellybarnard6394 Wise wise words!!!
girl what stratergy are you using to fold? like I have never seen that. can i please get a tutorial on how you do that please?
its called the Karie Mondo method. check it out on youtube
Marie Kondo
I LOVE that fold! I use the file method when organizing my drawers. Sometimes the shirts will fall open when other pieces are removed from the row. I'm definitely trying this, thank-you!
I am head over heels about this channel which I only discovered today.. I love your gentle voice and mindset. God bless you and your family🙌🏼❤️
God bless you !! So grateful for your gift of teaching!! 😭❤️
We need to be careful to distinguish between traditional womanhood and manhood, and Biblical womanhood and manhood. Most of what the Bible commands about children is directed at fathers - we need to study up! Raising children is not only a woman's job. Also, if we allow God to determine how many children he blesses us with, and take responsibility for their training and education, we won't be done in 20 years! But totally agree with being flexible and and content with our husband's provision!
Amen totally agree Men need to raise there kids too
Agreed. And I thought the same thing! My friend has 8 children, the oldest is 20 and the youmgest is 5. She did her 20 years and still has 15 more to go!
Amen! As Biblical Manhood He is the Head of the Household to Speak The Word (KJV)over his Wife and Into his Children! There are Specific Truths that The Dad is To Teach is Sons and Daughters! My Husband has always Spent time with Our Children when he comes home, Play Games, Discuss Things/ Had to Discipline! Talk with Them about the Word! When Babies Change a Diaper, Give a Bath. Now With Our Children being 23,21,16&15. He still Plays Games with 21,16&15 year old. We are in no Rush to have Our Children move out of the house. Our 23 year old Son has. We Still have Biblical Things we Need to Teach Our Daughter’s and Son’s. We Still have Much to do as Parents Discipling!
Personally, it's the lack of help preparing the kids for their future that stresses me. I'm not a single mother. The housework wouldn't feel so heavy if I knew he had my back with sending the kids off with life skills that a man teaches. Men have rolls beyond their career. That's biblical.
YES! i think a lot of woman here are PURPOSELY misunderstanding us to label us rebellious.. i don’t like that
@@whooiszaza Thank you !!!!
YES!!!!!!
I love love love that you show beautiful clothing, scrumptious recipes, cooking and blessing your home, as you talk/read in the background. 🧡🧡🧡
She is so right especially about the feminine role. You can still have this mindset as a single woman even though you are the sole provider. I'm a single woman with 4 kids and GOD has always provided for me and my family.. Material things will never be the center of my life, GOD is my provider and most important.
Recently I asked the Lord to change my heart and mind about homemaking, because the way I have been going about it has not been working. Negative thought patterns and examples from my childhood have me tripping over my own shoelaces. Then your videos started popping up on my feed. Thank you for taking the time to share the biblical wisdom the Lord has laid on your heart and for doing so with dignity and grace 👑 ❤️
Hey new subscriber here! I literally just started watching your channel a couple days ago. I’ve pretty much binged quite a few episodes in that time. And as a man watching this video I felt compelled to give a personal testimony that is currently happening in my marriage now.
I'm sorry but I've never seen anyone fold clothes like that. So cool and efficient. Does it keeps the wrinkle out and takes up less space?
The way I grew up, my mom did all the housework cooking cleaning and taking us to various extra curricular activities, but my Dad loved being with us too and teaching us things and just being very playful in general. That’s my model for an ideal balance in raising kids as a husband and wife.
Twenty years in the grind, while hubby spends 30 or 40 years in his grind. Never realized that. Bindi, you are a blessing.
As a man, everything you said spoke to my heart. How I wish content like this gets viral and more men and women get to hear this and see that. And most importantly LEARN how to fold clothes like a champ like you. 🤣
Thank you for putting out this video. It is very raw and relaxing.
My husband used to try to get me to share his burden in making money but as I drew closer to God I found myself pulled to be home with the kids and not making money. It's been a drastic change because it's allowed me to see things differently. I used to run around stressed and ignorant of how much my children were suffering. Now I try to make the home a place where my husband can be refreshed when he comes home 💗 I'm still struggling to managr it all, but i know that even in my efforts my family is being blessed.
This women is making money from TH-cam 😅
Great point of view for a stay at home mom who's husband works full time. However , not everyone can afford this type of set up. When both partners work, both partners have to share the workload.
Your home is beautiful by the way! Where do you get your sweater tops?
Bindi, Thankyou for sharing these homemaker series of videos with your followers. The Lord is using you for my heart’s posture when it comes to marriage. I’ll be celebrating 6 years of marriage this year. Let’s just say I could sure extend a little grace to my husband; the man the Lord gave to me to honor, love, and serve 💕. I had a date night with him a few weeks ago and had to apologize for many selfish things I’ve said / done in the past. Again, thank you Bindi. God bless you sister 🙏
16:45 I remember being 7 month pregnant
Big as ever & was on a train in Chicago. Leaving work. No one gave up their seat for me. All these young men from all races. Black, white, Asian. None of them got up & I stood on the train for 20 mins until an older man (60s) got on. Sat down & saw me standing & quickly got up & offered his seat. I sat down but only for 10 mins because my stop came up.
Younger men 40 & under don’t do chilvery because no one taught them.
Now we are parents it’s our job to TEACH our sons this & TEACH our daughters to accept it.
By the time I got home my feet were so swollen I had to set with my feet up. I told my boyfriend at the time (he’s my husband now) & he demanded to pick me up from now so I wouldn’t have to deal with that again.
Chicagoan here 👋🏼 And I have A similar story...When I was 6 or 7 months pregnant, a grown man - who looked forty something - literally ran ahead of me to be sure he got he got a seat on the approaching train. My husband started driving me shortly thereafter...
@@kendriap7725 yes ppl are so rude. That’s why I teach my two boys always open the door for a woman & offer a seat. I’m trying to raise them to be resepectful to women and elders all the time.
I think my mom is just as busy now as when the 8 of us were little 😂 she has cared for and buried my grandmas. You're right that it is different though and it's awesome to see how my parents relationship has blossomed in their "old age"
Thank you 😊
I am grateful for my Mom in Law
because all Seven of her children are willing and able to do the dishes and cook.
My husband was wonderful when I was not able to because of surgery and he was taught to ask, as was I , is there anything I can do to help?
Generally I was glad to wait on him as he was tired from work and he was happy to interact with the children while I was busy with cooking.
Thank you
I appreciate your encouragement.
I used to be so tired on the weekends... all I wanted to do was sleep 😴...I saw my own Mom... how she worked to care for all the people she cared for... for so many years...GOD 🙏 bless her... may she rest in peace...
You are a Godsend! Yes to my husband the provider, thank you for articulating HIS burden! For us! Amen, Glory to God in the highest. And God bless our husbands.