"What did you think you were getting!?" I saw a 1-star google review for the local aquarium that said something like "there's just a bunch of dumb fish here."
@@tinabean713 0 stars "My friend lured me into the depths of the crypt with the promise of a fine cordial and exacted his revenge for a lifetime of petty humiliations by sealing me alive in one of the recesses. Entire vacation was ruined, terrible experience: just skip it."
@@eppyz Because inane and genuine is more entertaining than generic and commercial. Over produced market tested content is nails on chalkboard to millennials.
@@eppyz Because she's amazing and hilarious. From cleaning old ponies to reading bad fan fiction (with all mistakes on full display) to animatronic lore, to movie prediction bingo, to something approaching a traditional film review - we love it all.
“spidery piece of junk” yea me too Honorable mentions: -Parent who got their friendless kid a spider to act as a sufficient friend -Lady with spiders all over every window on her home -Wet spider -Orange vanilla coke -Legs -corporate greed in the spider industry
@@euducationator indie plastic spiders are too out there, frankly speaking. the producers need to understand the point of mass appeal. the market for plastic spider is simply not large enough to have the capacity to accommodate niche interests
What the heck is an orange vanilla coke? I've heard of these strange coke flavours the yanks have, and I'm intrigued and also terrified by this combination of flavours. The sound of it makes me think it'll taste how orange juice tastes after you've brushed your teeth, for some reason. I want it, though. We don't really get many strange coke flavours in the UK. We sometimes have vanilla. And there's been a mango one recently. They used to sell lime ones like 15 years ago but they don't anymore.
If you allow me, I'd like to expand on the classification - Good spiders: hairy, large, unique, scary, elaborate, furry in a way that feels SO GOOD - Bad spiders: small, basic, wet, sticky, rubbery, lame, weak, cheap spidery PIECE OF JUNK
Spiders actually tend to not need much leg to support a lot of cephalothorax and abdomen. It's a perk of the square-cube law. Their legs are long but thin; they have more cephalothorax and abdomen, but it's compacted into a rounder shape.
My grandmother uses rubber snakes to keep the birds out of her trees but they’re learning. Thanks to the spider review, I know exactly what she’s getting for Christmas to keep the birds at bay.
Jenny's value is really the home improvement and pest prevention tips. I mean why do you think she has all those porgs? For fun?! She is smart and good at pest control
A review under fake roaches: "I regret buying these. They are too real looking. What I thought would be a fun practical joke backfired. Oh sure, the kids thought it was funny when Mommy started screaming, but that was just the beginning of the hellstorm which followed me the rest of that day and night. To all the husbands out there, I say wait. Think. But I know you’ll do it anyway. Post videos." "So because I am an awesome human being I bought these to go in a pinata and to mix into parade candy. Best idea ever. There might be giant realistic looking roaches all over my house and I might have screamed and tried to stop them to death more than once." "As a fake roach “connoisseur”, I can state that these are probably the most realistic that I have seen. Roaches are so creepy, that even the less detailed and clumsily colored ones do the trick of startling your victim, but these have even fooled me on occasion. The price is very good, and I have no issues with the way they were packed. I didn’t expect to receive plastic roaches carefully placed in boxes like fine chocolates." Amazing. Why haven't I done this before?
I want to be the kid whose dad buys him a toy spider because he has no friends and then it breaks and I’m alone “again” so I become a horror movie villain.
I'm pedantic enough that it initially just bothered me. I feel like they were mentally merging "Tiny Dancer" and "Private Dancer" and I felt like they'd be better off going with tiny dancer lyrics, except then I realized that they went with the lines they did because the spider cost money so I'm not even sure anymore.
@@lydiafayre9806 I enjoyed your comment but no need to agonize over these lines. The lyrics are from Private Dancer and only said "tiny" because that's the descriptor. They're literally tiny spiders. Imagine if it said "private spiders".
@@wizardjokes What i was imagining was it saying, "hold me closer, tiny spider." And the question of "need" never came into it, only my compulsive pedantry. I hope you dont go around telling every person who expresses having a compulsion that they dont "need" to do the thing. I promise you fervently that it does not help.
Because it's healthy for the individual members of a couple to maintain separate interests and activities. She has her open mic, he has his spider reviews.
A bit late to the party but oh, it's funny because I literally almost all his other product reviews somehow have something to do with those solar panels of his. Oh, and his Greenhouse too
I felt compelled to check these reviews on my own and found the question "Are these light enough to blow across a table with a large straw?" And the seller actually tried blowing the spiders with a straw to inform that no, they weren't
yes that why the fuzzy spiders are better because there rather compact compared to lager spider like common brown spiders or worse daddy long legs. But they are majority legs especially the larger they get so it is to be expected when purchasing an spider of an online spider dealer.
@@notnormalyet What is commonly called "daddy long legs" around me are what is also called "harvestmen" and I get the impression that that's what this person is talking about. They're arachnids but they're not spiders. The most obvious difference being the single body segment.
She said this isn't her "usual thing," but like, talking about her weird hobbies and interests in a way that gets us invested too feels like the whole point of her channel.
I’m trying not to imagine a friendless child locked in a basement as a neglectful parent opens the door briefly to toss in a toy spider. Somehow they came away from it feeling like the problem is solved now.
I wonder if in every one of Tom Chamber's Amazon reviews he gives a new unrelated anecdote from his marriage to Gloria, and if you put them all together you can reconstruct some dark secret in their relationship.
I think that's because you wouldn't expect anyone to be unsatisfied by a simple fake spider, so him stating the spider's sufficiency proves we have a big misconception about the requests and needs of the spider buyers community.
"My child doesn't have friends so I bought him this spider." Thank you for your service, Jenny; mining these depths for gold and diamonds, rubies and emeralds. I appreciate your brain so very muchhhh.
In Russia, spider is as large as child, and speak like cartoon character. Neighbor as child is having loyal spider friend and every day he is take spider for walk outside window. My rage glow like strong Russian nuclear power that mutate spider, until one day I am making call. Small child is throw in gulag for crime of pride, and spider is kill for be American spy. I never was having spider friend. And am now much drunker, crazier Russian for live without spider. In Russia, spider friend is weakness.
The funniest reviews on Amazon to me are ones for Styrofoam heads for wig styling and hat making. Their just so funny because I don't know what more you need from a Styrofoam head other than vaguely head shaped but people get so passionate about it! My favorite was one that only said "She worked well for my purpose, won't be needing her anymore." it gave me chills.
Too bad one cannot post pictures in TH-cam replies, eh? I am sure we would see some truly amazing spider-hats if you could! (Mourning the lost possibilities here.)
Just for my own benefit: 1:40 - Scary spido/A Good Spider 1:55 - Sloppy job/Not a large 2:19 - Gloria 3:15 - Extolling its virtues/anal fissures 3:55 - "Hat" 4:19 - Car Spider 6:52 - Spider hacker 7:48 - wiiIIIiIIIiwUUoouUUwEeIIiiiiiwoOoOO 9:27 - A good friend
"Who are these people using spiders as scarecrows?" this is the funniest thing I've ever seen, and I would watch a whole series of her choosing random things and reading the reviews.
HEY! I have that giant bone spider!! He’s really well made and about the size of my torso. He used to hang on a light fixture over my bed but we moved so now he hangs on the wall. His name is Azbogah and he is my favourite spider to have ever gotten! I love him so much!
I was just gonna comment reccommending the giant bone spiders, happy to see your comment! Asda in the UK is currently selling the exact same ones in the video and I'm soooo tempted to buy one! Glad you're happy with your Azbogah!
Vellzi To be fair, you have to have a very highIQ to understand Trigger Warning . The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jake’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Trigger Warning truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Jake’s existencial catchphrase "I am a very big man," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Jake River’s genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Trigger Warning tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
Marinelife7 ya know I read this comment before watching and I was like “aw it won’t be as funny now” but I am so so happy that I was wrong and am now sitting here with tears from cracking up so much
It's all fun and games to look at the reviews, but no one is talking about how the spider industrial complex basically dictates our foreign policy with their massive entrenched influence.
"Why did you mod your ten dollar Halloween spider?" Is such a fantastic sentence. I don't think I can fully express the joy that this arrangement of words has brought me. From this point on I aspire to be on the receiving end of such a question.
I think it may be an arachnophile thing. I too have used the exact phrase of "spider season" when talking about looking for spider decor around Halloween.
I love that the product picture says " When touching spider, spider's eyes will glow red and will sound terrible ghost" and the guy complains that you need to touch it to activate it...
"2 people found this helpful" slowly coming into focus as you read the entire review is one of the funniest bits of editing I think I've ever seen. Edit: starts at 2:25
I went on amazon to read the reviews of random spiders and I’m already finding gold. This one guy attached it to the top of the car and was very impressed that it withstood 70mph speeds, and he set it up with a motion sensor so it’ll jump out at people and a camera to make sure no one steals this absolute prize of a spider.
Glorias poem: There was once a spider in the tub It was there cuz my husband’s a schlub But he likes to whine With his reviews online And my patience is down to a nub
It's an event where people hand out candy from the back of their cars instead of their houses, but now that you mention it the whole thing does sound a bit creepy
Thread Bomb - You are on tonight! Absolutely tearing up the comments!!! That’s the third laugh out loud comment of yours I’ve come across in the space of 5 minutes
musicalwithfangs seeing a spider with ribs let’s you know it’s actually a BONE DEMON MONSTER that has taken the shape of a spider 🕷 because Ray Stanz was thinking of spiders
No clue what this was at first glance but I'm intrigued. Honestly I feel like that's part of this channel's charm, just reading odd titles and going okay, sure. I'm down
Jenny could release a video where the premise is that she just painted a wall and was going to watch it dry and I'd watch it immediately and show all my friends and family.
I see why you like looking at these reviews. T he positive ones are just so wholesome? Like they’re all so passionate about these plastic spiders? I'm so happy. I wish I was that passionate. It’s so pure.
I love how everyone talks like a spider is a common household appliance
*"I bought this one to replace my old spider"*
"My old spider, which I've had for fifteen years"
Where did you bury your last spider?
@@butteredtoast8666 It's in the catacombs with my amontiallo, would you me to lead you there ;)
I dunno, I hardly even use the spider I have now. Honestly, I'm beginning to think it was a bit of a wasted investment.
@@evies.1018 hahshahaha wtf is this world and how did she discover it? fucking hilarious i couldn't stop laughing
"What did you think you were getting!?"
I saw a 1-star google review for the local aquarium that said something like "there's just a bunch of dumb fish here."
I saw negative TripAdvisor reviews for Italian catacombs complaining that they were just full of old bones. I really love 1-star TripAdvisor reviews.
@@tinabean713 0 stars
"My friend lured me into the depths of the crypt with the promise of a fine cordial and exacted his revenge for a lifetime of petty humiliations by sealing me alive in one of the recesses. Entire vacation was ruined, terrible experience: just skip it."
Jacob Lessing Cask of Amontillado?
On the opposite I saw a review for a prison in the UK along the lines of, 'was pretty good, learned a lot' - 4 stars.
@@thebigbristolian , I like the idea of someone figuring out where to commit their crimes based on local jail reviews
"It's a shame corporate greed is destroying the giant spider industry". That needs to be on a bumper sticker
Unionize the spiders
Capitalism creating the machinations for its own demise yadi yadi yadda
I imagined a guy in overalls at a huge spider factory talking about all the different types of spiders they make.
*Night Vale vibes*
Tbqh, it's probably better than giant spiders destroying the corporate greed industry.
"I know this is not my usual thing"
- Jenny desperately pretending like this isn't the bread and butter of her channel
Exactly what I was thinking lol
She has almost 500k subs and honestly i can't figure out why 🤔
@@eppyz Good, well constructed content?
@@eppyz Because inane and genuine is more entertaining than generic and commercial. Over produced market tested content is nails on chalkboard to millennials.
@@eppyz Because she's amazing and hilarious. From cleaning old ponies to reading bad fan fiction (with all mistakes on full display) to animatronic lore, to movie prediction bingo, to something approaching a traditional film review - we love it all.
“spidery piece of junk” yea me too
Honorable mentions:
-Parent who got their friendless kid a spider to act as a sufficient friend
-Lady with spiders all over every window on her home
-Wet spider
-Orange vanilla coke
-Legs
-corporate greed in the spider industry
MY DUDE, I READ YOUR COMMENT AND SNORTED, YOU LEGALLY OWN THE COMMENT SECTION NOW
Orange Vanilla Coke spider deserves a higher spot on this list imo
JMBAD orange Vanilla Coke spider is a very convoluted affectionate nickname and I plan to call my significant other this at the earliest opportunity
B O N E C R E A T U R E S
-it served it’s purpose
It's a shame that so many of our politicians are in the pocket of Big Spider.
i might’ve laughed harder at this comment than any other
the Big Spider has 8 pockets so realistically only about 16 politicians are in her pockets max. maybe 18 if like 2 of them squeeze in one
I'm just thinking about a businessman, sitting in his office, checking the "meets expectations" box on his plastic spider's performance review
Too bad the greedy spider corporation won't give him the raise that he deserves...
He needs to quit and start his own plastic spider business.
indie plastic spiders are better than greedy corporate spiders if you ask me.
@@euducationator indie plastic spiders are too out there, frankly speaking. the producers need to understand the point of mass appeal. the market for plastic spider is simply not large enough to have the capacity to accommodate niche interests
@@oof-wi7hp you're just a shill for Big Spider
the screaming, shaking spider posing with an orange Vanilla Coke has me CRYING
Its so weird but I want one now
I'm literally at work in tears over Orange Vanilla Coke spider
What the heck is an orange vanilla coke? I've heard of these strange coke flavours the yanks have, and I'm intrigued and also terrified by this combination of flavours. The sound of it makes me think it'll taste how orange juice tastes after you've brushed your teeth, for some reason. I want it, though. We don't really get many strange coke flavours in the UK. We sometimes have vanilla. And there's been a mango one recently. They used to sell lime ones like 15 years ago but they don't anymore.
@@duffman18 I thought everyone had them, I'm from Venezuela and we only get Coca-Cola and maybe the Diet version (or the sugar free one)
when the sugar rush hits you
I have learned that good spiders are: hairy, large, unique. And that bad spiders are: small, basic, wet, sticky.
Someone likes their spiders like they like their men.
You’re exactly right, good job
If you allow me, I'd like to expand on the classification
- Good spiders: hairy, large, unique, scary, elaborate, furry in a way that feels SO GOOD
- Bad spiders: small, basic, wet, sticky, rubbery, lame, weak, cheap spidery PIECE OF JUNK
A friend of mine used a very similar argument to explain why the spiders in _Dragon Age_ were better than the ones in _Elder Scrolls_
The "2 people found this helpful" fade-in had me giggling like an idiot.
I read this and wondered what the hell you meant.
*Then it happened*
It’s truly the best comedic editing I’ve seen all year.
classic Gloria moment
My whole office was like WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
this comment made me giggle like an idiot, it’s kinda adorable.
I was deeply touched and moved by the oddly shaking spider serenading a can of orange vanilla coke.
+
Honestly the same, it plucks my heartstrings as if it were sentient.
Eat your heart out pavarotti.
I didn't even know they made orange vanilla coke. Sounds terrible.
I was deeply touched and oddly moved by the boy whose only friend was a cheap, novelty spider.
"More legs than spider" is pretty much how spiders are constructed.
hm yes
the spider here is made of leg
Spiders actually tend to not need much leg to support a lot of cephalothorax and abdomen. It's a perk of the square-cube law. Their legs are long but thin; they have more cephalothorax and abdomen, but it's compacted into a rounder shape.
Imagine the reverse. Just like a beach ball with nubs.
@@kevinmathewson4272 That actually sounds super cute.
@@kevinmathewson4272 a tick engorged with blood.
"This is not my usual thing."
You know, with a gun to my head, I could not name your usual thing. But I know that this is definitely it.
somehow this is the most poignant summary of whatever her channel is like
This is just the spooky version of the “rating every porg” video
She really is doing her own, yet-to-be-named genre, isn't she?
@@rahsf2012 genre: stuff and stuff
@@rahsf2012 Jen-re.
My grandmother uses rubber snakes to keep the birds out of her trees but they’re learning. Thanks to the spider review, I know exactly what she’s getting for Christmas to keep the birds at bay.
You may need to add a shark to scare away the starlings
Jenny's value is really the home improvement and pest prevention tips. I mean why do you think she has all those porgs? For fun?! She is smart and good at pest control
I thought the same thing! my dad hangs old CDs from the branches but its useless. But a spider...
A review under fake roaches:
"I regret buying these. They are too real looking. What I thought would be a fun practical joke backfired. Oh sure, the kids thought it was funny when Mommy started screaming, but that was just the beginning of the hellstorm which followed me the rest of that day and night. To all the husbands out there, I say wait. Think. But I know you’ll do it anyway. Post videos."
"So because I am an awesome human being I bought these to go in a pinata and to mix into parade candy. Best idea ever. There might be giant realistic looking roaches all over my house and I might have screamed and tried to stop them to death more than once."
"As a fake roach “connoisseur”, I can state that these are probably the most realistic that I have seen. Roaches are so creepy, that even the less detailed and clumsily colored ones do the trick of startling your victim, but these have even fooled me on occasion. The price is very good, and I have no issues with the way they were packed. I didn’t expect to receive plastic roaches carefully placed in boxes like fine chocolates."
Amazing. Why haven't I done this before?
I went to Amazon immediately and have spent the last few minutes cackling. 10/10 idea, thank you
which roaches was that so I can get the most realistic roaches????
@@figueroth following the thread in case he ever answers
The mental image of plastic cockroaches packaged like expensive chocolates brings me incredible amount of delight.
@@imadethisaccountjusttocomm8064 just made me think of that one coraline scene
If I die by "confused, wobbly spider serenading a can of orange coke" then so be it.
No no, he was just drinking and chilling.
That scene will never not make me cry
Calling all of my friends "lame weak spiders" from now on when they won't take me to mcdonalds
mothcub Wet Spider seemed more devastating to me
"You are not a large spider. You were supposed to be a large spider and you're not."
ok but the grandma who plays “hat” with her 18 month old granddaughter is ridiculously wholesome and I cried a little bit
Wait timestamp? I just watched the whole video and didn't see that?
@@geegeezlouis86 4:00 :)
And the fact that she bought it so that her granddaughter wouldn't be scared of spiders 😭😭😭 it's such a cute idea
I love how that review is just presented entirely without comment, wonderful
@Hyperion Dionysus the context is actually 3:58
"If it breaks, my child will be friendless again."
I want to be the kid whose dad buys him a toy spider because he has no friends and then it breaks and I’m alone “again” so I become a horror movie villain.
@@julianfantasia9033 that sounds like a great movie
We have all seen Toy Story 3, your folks will just buy you a new one and say the old one had to go help care for her mom because of cancer :)
Mugs I would watch it.
I love how it implies they won't buy the kid a new spider if it breaks LOL
"I'm your tiny spider, spider for money," obliterated me. Bravo to that reviewer.
Was that a Private Dancer reference?
and any old web will do
I'm pedantic enough that it initially just bothered me. I feel like they were mentally merging "Tiny Dancer" and "Private Dancer" and I felt like they'd be better off going with tiny dancer lyrics, except then I realized that they went with the lines they did because the spider cost money so I'm not even sure anymore.
@@lydiafayre9806 I enjoyed your comment but no need to agonize over these lines. The lyrics are from Private Dancer and only said "tiny" because that's the descriptor. They're literally tiny spiders. Imagine if it said "private spiders".
@@wizardjokes What i was imagining was it saying, "hold me closer, tiny spider." And the question of "need" never came into it, only my compulsive pedantry.
I hope you dont go around telling every person who expresses having a compulsion that they dont "need" to do the thing. I promise you fervently that it does not help.
Why didn't Tom Chambers attend his wife's open mic?
I feel like that story continues in another review somewhere. Perhaps on a multipack of 6-inch tungsten tipped screws or something.
He's been pissed since he lost to Jordan
Because it's healthy for the individual members of a couple to maintain separate interests and activities.
She has her open mic, he has his spider reviews.
Intrigue
Oh he doesn’t want to do that.
I can’t believe Jenny has two rooms in her house! Good for her
i thought this was two angles of her bedroom
@@ari_anon When you live somewhere small, you pretend different views are different rooms.
This comment. 😂
I can't believe she has a house
They let her out of her room?
Tom just wanted to flex about his solar panel racks
I got that impression, too.
A bit late to the party but oh, it's funny because I literally almost all his other product reviews somehow have something to do with those solar panels of his. Oh, and his Greenhouse too
Of all the videos where Jenny would say “anal fissures” I would’ve thought the toy spider reviews video would be the least likely. And yet here I am
That's the weirdest part of this whole video and no one is talking about it
Yeah, I was looking for all the comments about what that implies people are doing with these...
If only my giant spider came with that warning.
@@BwooHuraca I'm not clear if the aforementioned giant arachnid CAUSES them, or COMES with them.
@@BwooHuraca Too late, now.
That apple wasn’t for scale, the spider was just having a snack
That was its _baby._
@@ThreadBomb *for its babies
The spider was to scare kids and the apple to scare doctors.
So was the coke.
A spider can have a little apple. As a treat.
my child doesn't have any friends... so I bought him this spider.
Hopefully the spider can endure your child's friendship, lest they become friendless once more
Now he's friendless AND widely despised.
As you can see, my child still has no friends. I wonder why.
i'll take "amazon reviews written by drow parents" for 500, alex
lolth would be proud. or angry. i dunno. she's usually pretty angry.
I felt compelled to check these reviews on my own and found the question
"Are these light enough to blow across a table with a large straw?"
And the seller actually tried blowing the spiders with a straw to inform that no, they weren't
"more legs than spider"
Hm... that's what most spiders are like, friend.
yes that why the fuzzy spiders are better because there rather compact compared to lager spider like common brown spiders or worse daddy long legs. But they are majority legs especially the larger they get so it is to be expected when purchasing an spider of an online spider dealer.
Of course. They are generally 1 spider, but 8 leg.
Daddy Long Legs are more legs than spider because they are not spiders.
@@kendrajade6688 "Daddy long legs" can mean a bunch of different things. Where I live, we call cellar spiders "daddy long legs".
@@notnormalyet
What is commonly called "daddy long legs" around me are what is also called "harvestmen" and I get the impression that that's what this person is talking about. They're arachnids but they're not spiders. The most obvious difference being the single body segment.
She said this isn't her "usual thing," but like, talking about her weird hobbies and interests in a way that gets us invested too feels like the whole point of her channel.
Used to watch your videos, take care!
Hey Xidnaf! It's you! Your videos are great!
Omg it’s you
I literally forgot about your videos. Why did you stop?
Come back, king
Can we also point out that at 5:22 the color of the item is listed as "Spider"?
That's my favorite color... spider
Must be an extreme case of synesthesia.
@@BradTheAmerican lmao
I’m your tiny spider
12:32
"What color are you thinking for this kitchen wall? Spider or Giant Spider -59inch?"
Take the Coke away from that spider, he's clearly had enough caffeine.
There are pictures of webs created by spiders on various drugs. Not sure of any scientific merit but worth seeing. On drugs.
@@sardonicusrex6820 "Nice web, Mr. Crack Spider"
@@emmapirelli6319 how do you know the spider is a he?
orange vanilla coke make spider go BRRRRRRRR
@@themanbehindtheslaughter2201 oh my god there’s people who haven’t seen the spiders on drugs video
We’re old folks
The novel about Gloria’s prank literally had me doubled over crying
2 people found this review helpful
I like to think he made the entire thing up and Gloria doesn't exist
Chloe G plot twist gloria wrote it and her husband actually died from a spider bite 2 years ago
@@ClassicGameFire oooooh plot twist! when is the film adaptation coming out
*_Gloria's Creepy Crawlies_*
"The amount of lore" is my favorite quote, I can't get over when people call backstory or history "lore" specifically.
I’m trying not to imagine a friendless child locked in a basement as a neglectful parent opens the door briefly to toss in a toy spider.
Somehow they came away from it feeling like the problem is solved now.
This could be the origin story for the next great horror franchise.
How would that not solve the problem?
@Luigi Nastro arachnofella
Imagine if the Dursley’s did that to Harry Potter
I wonder if in every one of Tom Chamber's Amazon reviews he gives a new unrelated anecdote from his marriage to Gloria, and if you put them all together you can reconstruct some dark secret in their relationship.
S h e h a s s c a r e d m e i n t h e p a s t
They're all equally as weird; he goes on tangents a lot. And he always rates everything 3/5
@@xXPeaceForeverrXx I need help finding him...help me?
His reviews actually contain the entire story of their marriage, it is like a hidden autobiography scattered across multiple reviews.
@@xXPeaceForeverrXx It's been three months! We need more Tom Chamber!
I love all of Jenny's healthy coping skills, they are so odd and I think we all should be more like her
Also worth noting that I do this for stuffed chickens
It says 2 replies but I only see one....
Jenny is living fucking authentically 😂 the dream
coping with what?
@@hawkthetraveler6344 Life, man
"Sufficient"
I don't know why that description was so funny, but it was
I think that's because you wouldn't expect anyone to be unsatisfied by a simple fake spider, so him stating the spider's sufficiency proves we have a big misconception about the requests and needs of the spider buyers community.
An adequate spider
A mediocre spider
Sounds like a wizard. This spider is... sufficient.
The purchaser was a vulcan and that was the highest compliment he could provide.
"My child doesn't have friends so I bought him this spider."
Thank you for your service, Jenny; mining these depths for gold and diamonds, rubies and emeralds. I appreciate your brain so very muchhhh.
Look at the comment section for s rendition of "when Johnny comes marching home".
"Those feets is such as long and furry" is possibly my favorite combination of words ever
I wish I had a spider when I was a friendless child
Same!
Me too.
In Russia, spider is as large as child, and speak like cartoon character.
Neighbor as child is having loyal spider friend and every day he is take spider for walk outside window.
My rage glow like strong Russian nuclear power that mutate spider, until one day I am making call.
Small child is throw in gulag for crime of pride, and spider is kill for be American spy. I never was having spider friend.
And am now much drunker, crazier Russian for live without spider.
In Russia, spider friend is weakness.
Devin Paul Damn.
@@devinpaul9026 DAMN JUST ANOTHER DAY IN RUSSIA I GUESS
"Seven stars for each of my spider's SEVEN LEGS" I cried!!!
i love the fact that the person at 9:14 said it was “the best spider figure that’s on amazon”, but they still only gave it 4 stars
Pickings are slim with all the corporate greed in the giant spider industry.
The funniest reviews on Amazon to me are ones for Styrofoam heads for wig styling and hat making. Their just so funny because I don't know what more you need from a Styrofoam head other than vaguely head shaped but people get so passionate about it! My favorite was one that only said "She worked well for my purpose, won't be needing her anymore." it gave me chills.
Holy smokes that made me laugh hard!
i painted mine, and she's named tynnifer.
@@agroteraaaa I want to travel the world with her
I love Jenny’s comment section 😂
At homecoming this year at my school, somebody brought one dolled up in makeup and a wig as their date.
I can’t get over the dude who had to mod his spider, and I want to know what other stuff he does in his spare time when not modding spiders
Just an electrical engineer with a weird hobby. Nothing to see here
He mods other robotic arachnids
There is nothing else.
that is basically how wild wild west with will smith happened... crazy engineer with weird hobby turns megalomaniac
The slow fade in on '2 people found this helpful' absolutely slayed me
"This is not a large spider, it's barely bigger than my hand."
So that review is from Australia then
I bet he has 50 mature female spiders that crawl into his hand every day
As an Australian, yes.
“Can you play ‘hat’ with it?”
This is the only thing that really matters.
Going to start playing hat with every purchase during grocery shopping and no one can stop me.
Iago the parrot approves
Too bad one cannot post pictures in TH-cam replies, eh? I am sure we would see some truly amazing spider-hats if you could! (Mourning the lost possibilities here.)
You can't beat me at hat. My spiders are _live._
Just for my own benefit:
1:40 - Scary spido/A Good Spider
1:55 - Sloppy job/Not a large
2:19 - Gloria
3:15 - Extolling its virtues/anal fissures
3:55 - "Hat"
4:19 - Car Spider
6:52 - Spider hacker
7:48 - wiiIIIiIIIiwUUoouUUwEeIIiiiiiwoOoOO
9:27 - A good friend
You’ve done a great service for the people.
"I'm aware that whenever I mention a thing I do for fun it sounds really really weird"
Does Jenny know why people watch her channel?
She knows now.
"Who are these people using spiders as scarecrows?"
this is the funniest thing I've ever seen, and I would watch a whole series of her choosing random things and reading the reviews.
The review that said "birds are afraid of spiders because sometimes spiders eat birds" must come from someone who lives in Australia.
HEY! I have that giant bone spider!! He’s really well made and about the size of my torso. He used to hang on a light fixture over my bed but we moved so now he hangs on the wall. His name is Azbogah and he is my favourite spider to have ever gotten! I love him so much!
This is a comment of pure joy
I was just gonna comment reccommending the giant bone spiders, happy to see your comment!
Asda in the UK is currently selling the exact same ones in the video and I'm soooo tempted to buy one! Glad you're happy with your Azbogah!
“this is the worst thing i’ve ever read” said the woman who read TROLL and Trigger Warning
Wtfs your problem dude Trigger Warning is BOYT. Maybe you have to be a BIG MAN such as myself to really appreciate the subtle humour.
Vellzi To be fair, you have to have a very highIQ to understand Trigger Warning . The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Jake’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily fromNarodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Trigger Warning truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Jake’s existencial catchphrase "I am a very big man," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Jake River’s genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Trigger Warning tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
@@alextheglitch1101 I really appreciate the effort put in and dedication to that joke and that you ended on a punchline.
Bismuth Crystal bruh I just copy pasted the Rick and Morty copypasta and changed some of the words lmao
So, I own Trigger Warning and I just have to say that I've read worse than that, too.
The imagine of a giant spider gyrating and hollering at a can of coke will always stick in my mind as comedic gold
Marinelife7 ya know I read this comment before watching and I was like “aw it won’t be as funny now” but I am so so happy that I was wrong and am now sitting here with tears from cracking up so much
"a star for each of my spider's SEVEN LEGS" gets me cry laughing every time
It's all fun and games to look at the reviews, but no one is talking about how the spider industrial complex basically dictates our foreign policy with their massive entrenched influence.
A small price for spider peace...
"Id-tagged spiders spinning id-tagged webs... Arachnids have changed."
(6 hours later)
"Nano-spiders, son!"
Preach brother
no more blood for spiders
They too work for the bourgeoisie.
“Gloria has scared me in the past” U ok there buddy
Ciera Baldwin Gloria is a good prankster 🤣
It was hilarious when he woke to find a noose hanging directly over his head.
when I came to youtube to soothe my hours-long anxiety attack, I didn't expect a video on spiders to be the one to help me calm down.
This video is still one of my go-tos to calm down. The soothing power of Jenny’s spider reviews is timeless
The spider shaking and making "wooo" sounds in front of the soda can gave me a whiplash
I cant stop thinking about it, it is so ridiculous
So, you didn't find this review to be helpful ?
:D
Me: "spider reviews" I wonder what this video is about.
Jenny: I like to read reviews of spiders.
Me: I did not expect that.
...but I'm not surprised either
I don’t know why, but for some reason I was expecting Spider-Man reviews. What we got is so much better, I am ashamed for having such a silly idea.
I'm so glad that wasn't just me.
I expected reviews of real actual spiders
I thought she would be reading reviews of actual spiders.
"Why did you mod your ten dollar Halloween spider?" Is such a fantastic sentence. I don't think I can fully express the joy that this arrangement of words has brought me. From this point on I aspire to be on the receiving end of such a question.
Jenny has the weirdest hobbies and manages to get us to enjoy them anyway
"I'm aware that whenever I mention a thing that I just do for fun, it sounds really, really weird," she says, sat in front of her horse-shaped mirror
I thought it was a bookshelf.
It’s a bookshelf
It's a desk that is actually a 3D puzzle
Its a real horse
It's-a me, Mario!
@0:58 "Spiders are in season now ... like a berry." Quintessential Jenny Nicholson line right there! LMAO.
+
I think it may be an arachnophile thing. I too have used the exact phrase of "spider season" when talking about looking for spider decor around Halloween.
"The spider is good-sized, but still not as big as my other spider at 6 foot 4 inches/220 lbs. 4/5 stars" - Jake Rivers
"This spider is too fragile, its leg broke off when I took it out of the package, what a snowflake!"
Awtum - That’s some deep fandom right there!
i literally forgot about that video and i was just pissing myself on the pure concept of a grown man weighing his spider for reviewing purposes
Spiders needs an education
Awtum what is this a reference to?
Jenny: This is my Hobby.
Me: that’s dumb
Jenny: Trust me , watch the video.
Me: This is my Hobby
"Say good-bye Aragog."
'Good-Bye, friend of Jenny...'
Oh my god.
The cycle is complete.
I love that the product picture says " When touching spider, spider's eyes will glow red and will sound terrible ghost" and the guy complains that you need to touch it to activate it...
"2 people found this helpful" slowly coming into focus as you read the entire review is one of the funniest bits of editing I think I've ever seen.
Edit: starts at 2:25
That part sent me from wheezing quietly to spilling my tea
😍😍
Oct 2019: Jenny roasts spider reviews
aug 2020: Jenny makes video reviewing and acquiring spider
The circle is now complete.
I went on amazon to read the reviews of random spiders and I’m already finding gold. This one guy attached it to the top of the car and was very impressed that it withstood 70mph speeds, and he set it up with a motion sensor so it’ll jump out at people and a camera to make sure no one steals this absolute prize of a spider.
"those feets are such as long and furry... I'll mark that one helpful." nearly killed me. IDK why but that floored me.
Who else came back here in 2020 after seeing Jenny’s quest for the giant spider?
She's come such a long way! :')
Me!
“Morning, neighbor! What are you up to so early?” “Oh, I just thought it was about time to replace the window spiders.”
"O, ayuh...that time o'year agin, ain't it?"
Glorias poem:
There was once a spider in the tub
It was there cuz my husband’s a schlub
But he likes to whine
With his reviews online
And my patience is down to a nub
Babies
@@cardamooon The title refers to how men get.
I think "Trunk or Treat" Sounds more ominous than they intended.
It's an event where people hand out candy from the back of their cars instead of their houses, but now that you mention it the whole thing does sound a bit creepy
@@rattyeely Somebody shows up with a windowless white van.
6 minutes in and the word "spider" has lost all meaning
For me the word"spider" has gained deep spiritual significance.
@@eoincampbell1584 For me, I strongly relate to both these views.
*Literary analysis voice* Maybe meaninglessness is the most meaningful thing of them all
The word sounded weirder and weirder after a while
Incognito Burrito
Maybe the real spider is the weirdness we made along the way!
Having huge spiders on all your windows is a brtilliant idea.
It's ideal if you want neighborhood kids to throw rocks at your house.
Thread Bomb - You are on tonight! Absolutely tearing up the comments!!! That’s the third laugh out loud comment of yours I’ve come across in the space of 5 minutes
Something to scare away burglars
@@ColdHawk Thanks for the compliment. Looks like my sleep deprivation is finally paying off!
Thread Bomb - Have another orange vanilla coke and keep going!
"There’s just something so delightfully unnecessary about plastic spiders"
Now *Giant Plush Spiders* on the other hand
"I'll mark that one as helpful."
Jenny spreading the love
“my collection of bone creatures”
I wouldn’t wanna go into that lady’s basement....
mars I would!
Yea, it's probably very Arsenic & Old Lace down there
The “2 people found this helpful” on the comment about the prankster wife just about killed me. Amazing.
I want to hear the poem his wife called Babies. He got my interest. Good storyteller. 5 stars.
"a skeleton spider looks like a spider" is a sentence that will haunt me
musicalwithfangs seeing a spider with ribs let’s you know it’s actually a BONE DEMON MONSTER that has taken the shape of a spider 🕷 because Ray Stanz was thinking of spiders
deeply enchanted by the concept of "playing hat"
Hold up, that "who would steal a car with a creepy spider on it" lady might be on to something...
How about a fake vomit in the driver's seat?
Looks like the 0-800 enterprises missed on hiring someone.
@@ThreadBomb Now *that's* a good idea. Cause I'd not be put off by a clearly-fake spider.
Pretty sure my dad wrote that review
Star Gourd
Tell him thanks for the life hack!
The spider is doing a mating dance for the Orange Vanilla Coke
I just love how passionate these people are about fake spider.
I ordered the rainbow spider because of this. He’s delightful
What did you name him?
What did you name him?
@@eddieravenwood I named him Phil after Phil Lester!
@@zc7372 I named him Phil! Sorry I didn’t see this earlier haha
I’m glad I’m not the only one that bought one too! Have mine hanging over my doorframe
"This is not my usual thing" Literally no one was surprised at this video being made and that's exactly why we love and watch you.
The “A Good Friend” review has me ROLLING why is that me
>Buys plastic spider on Amazon
>Plastic spider arrives in mail
Customer: I've been fooled!
No clue what this was at first glance but I'm intrigued. Honestly I feel like that's part of this channel's charm, just reading odd titles and going okay, sure. I'm down
I Totally agree. It's hard to describe the appeal of the channel without sounding like I formed parasocial relationship.
Jenny could release a video where the premise is that she just painted a wall and was going to watch it dry and I'd watch it immediately and show all my friends and family.
I love how the spider was in focus the whole time instead of Jenny, it's a really good example of this videos theme: spiders
Everytime she read "big spider", i remembered the "big man" stuff about the trigger warning book
Spiders needs an education
Enfys Best
I don’t know, as long as this “big spider” doesn’t go to a school full of “pansy” spiders who need their “safe webs”.
Trigger Warning ruined the word “big”
would you say that you were... triggered?
"5 stars. Spider is good-sized, like Jake's hands. Used it to protect my guns from birds and liberal snowflakes."
-William W. Johnstone
This is literally the peak of comedy I've never been cheered up so fast or effectively 7 stars
The spider waiking and vibrating at the orange vanilla coke is the most relateable mood
Glad they gave the lil guy a snack
I see why you like looking at these reviews. T
he positive ones are just so wholesome? Like they’re all so passionate about these plastic spiders? I'm so happy. I wish I was that passionate. It’s so pure.
Spider: *Glowing eyes and squeaking voice-*
Jenny: *"Same-"*
3:22 I am pretty upset that they used my Grindr profile for that spider description.
I’m gonna recite this whole video as a dramatic monologue for my next audition
Kayleigh Franco
If there’s a time constraint, just read either Tom’s story of the one about the kid with no friends 😂😂