Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Finally somebody says this !! It's true. They beat you down internally. I finally went into acute respiratory failure and now I'm on oxygen for life. Never ever been sick in my life !!
@@stardustdreams234 Bet you're not ready for this one... Besides being a neurotic idiot mine was a meth user. Holy shit Batman. Wear you to a damn frazzle, all that shittiness combined with up for hours sometimes days. I barely ever slept. After 11 years, I'm on oxygen and can hardly make it thru the grocery store. The fatigue has just about killed me. Was never sick a day in my life until about a year ago. Now eligible for disability at only 59. Ruined my career and cost me everything.
Me too girl me too and it’s been 3months I think ..something like that .. still so lost and numb empty. Still can’t rest .. it feels like a 24/7 panic attack and disassociated state.. but it’s been that for.. probably the last year.. wow.. that realization is crazy. I’m right there with you.. I know this will never help or make it better but I’m sorry for how he treated you . Nobody should ever have to go through it I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy . I wonder do we ever really heal from this and will things ever feel okay again
@@freestyler5 It took me 4 years to get over the narcissist partner. But it was just the beginning of realisation that the problem was miles deeper! I was brought up by a narcissistic mother. Comparatively to her the narcissist partner was almost an angel! Now I can't deal with the pain.
@@sanjeevbains690I was most of that. I had a lot if work to do on myself before I ever entered a relationship. I only realised later thankfully. A narcissist will make you see your shadow self I think.
I was always exhausted and tired, and had to take naps to function. The narcissist would always question why I was so tired. Now I realize it was him causing it!
I'm sorry for the pain you endured. I'm still in a relationship with the most unconscionable actions. This video is spot on. I'm so tired. I'll pray that life gets better for you.
@@ManeThingz it is not as hard as people think. There are no chains attached and hopefully you are not caged so you can choose to stay or walk away. A few questions to help yourself with that before blaming a narcissist for been a narcissist. Ask yourself. Why are you attending to a sh1tshow? You too are toxic af and need to change, are you aware of your owm toxicity? Do you enjoy suffering and victim playing? Are you someone who says I love my partner but I wish they would change? That's not love hun. That's Codependency. Do you understand Codependency? Are you behaving like your partners parent instead of his partner that he once new? Do you understand that neediness is attractive to "nobody'. How much do you intend on loving yourself? The choices are yours. Its your mind that keeps you stuck.
@@umesultan7148 They always want more. When you quit giving, they call you selfish. Thats what happened to me. No more. I have limits now. It feels so good becoming me again.💖🙏
My brother said to stop thinking it's a home, to realize it's a POW camp with enemies, that it's disguised as a house with humans you think might change. If the same events happened to a prisoner from guards it would be obvious. Be smart and safely leave. It was good advice.
Excellent comment. I remember my father would when he was angry, find something to take out on me, he would have me stand there while he screamed at me, it reminded me how guards in a pow camp break down prisoners resolve. Then he would be buying me gifts another day. Screwed my head up. Great analogy✌
When my parents came to visit during my divorce ( my ex is the narc), my dad said I reminded him of a POW camp survivor! What a good observation from your brother.😮👍🏻❤️
Growing up, I always considered myself as a housed homeless person (once I could put things in words). When I was little, I drew a picture of me behind bars with all of life going on everywhere I wasn't. I stopped talking to my mom in my 20s, then she turned and abused one of her friends instead. She threw me back in the fire by telling me she was having life and death surgery (she got elective gastric bypass 🙄). I mean, she really dumped on the friend, so I guess I can't blame her. She dumped a big, crazy dog on her when she said multiple times she couldn't have dogs. Then my mom refused to take the dog back! So, yeah, that being among other things they my mom did, her being blindsided by her "friend" made her use me as a shield☹️ God moved me across the country from my mom. I didn't want to move, but had to. Even though things weren't smooth, I can see how God put a bunch of barriers between us❤️ Thank You, God!
Yep, I was raised by a self righteous narc and a vulnerable narc. Hyper religious home, we were beat often, yelled at constantly, always judged, there was no love from my parents. As kids the public would say we were so well behaved, they didn’t see the abuse we were trying to avoid if we didn’t behave correctly. My parents are evil. It’s been 12 years since I left their home and my body still struggles to relax…
I lived in this hell for 50 years. I didn't know what was going on. My narcissist mother always screams that I was lazy and disgusting. All the problems start in childhood. A narcissistic partner is a result of childhood trauma. There is only one advice - RUN AWAY WHILST YOU ARE STILL YOUNG!!! Don't waste your life.
This is so true. I had such high blood pressure my dentist said if it was any higher he couldn’t work on me (even for a simple cleaning) and they’d send me to the emergency room. I’d have dizzy spells where I’d almost black out. I have at least gotten that under control with deep breathing exercises and meditative yin yoga. Which reminds me, I haven’t done much to care for myself in a while after the latest nonsense.
It’s taken me 8 months of no contact and daily jumping on a rebounder (mini trampoline) to start feeling even an iota of normalcy. I’m feeling stronger, slowly but steadily losing weight and getting lots of rest as well as sleep. I still have the occasional nap after I come home from work. But that is slowly becoming less frequent. It’s also taken me 8 months to start feeling angry at how I was treated all those years. It came out of nowhere so I’ve been trying to deal with that as well. These narcs are evil and must be avoided at all costs. I recently found out he has a new girlfriend. I pity her.
Oh, does that help? I have a hula hoop, but I don't have enough energy to do it as much as I want. Also, my dog keeps putting his face too close and stares at me all weird if I block him off😂
@@gohawks3571Ha! I have a weighted hula hoop too and my cat would try to grab it. I should go back to doing it again When I get my energy back. I don’t have a rebounder anymore but maybe I should get one (if the narcissistic husband doesn’t make fun of the idea like he has in the past), but a few years ago, I did get a vibration plate machine to help my body detox when I was battling a digestive disorder and chronic fatigue. I felt it helped me and didn’t take much more effort than standing on it. I’d play uplifting music and do some light arm exercises while doing it. Also try relaxing and restorative yin yoga. That also helped me a lot. Which reminds me to restart my diet and exercise plan because my tummy symptoms are acting up again…
12 years later and there are times I still feel exhausted, burnt out and depressed. Some days are great but my ex left myself and our daughter forever traumatized.
Try taking adrenal support supplements, doing deep breathing exercises to reset your overwrought vagus nerve, and maybe some meditations, like yoga nidras and relaxing exercises like restorative yin yoga. Those have all helped me a lot, which reminds me to restart doing my self care more regularly.
I've been divorced from a monster for 5 1/2 years, and I'm STILL always tired. I realized just recently that I'm actually terrified every minute of every day. He had planned to kill me at least two different times. At the end of our time living in the same house, I woke up many times in the middle of the night to find him standing by my bedside staring at me. I had to start barricading my door so I could sleep. As far as I know, I'm no longer in real danger, but I can't find a way to let go.
The recent(ish) findings on dealing with PTSD that work the best for me, is to physicalize it. Instead of talk therapy, MOVEMENT is key, because all the crap is lodged in one's nervous system; so, dance, running, martial arts---get the blood and sweat pumping, and/or the slowing-down stuff. The important thing is to INTERRUPT a PTSD moment right when it occurs, with anything, even trivial stuff; that way, your brain and body stop looping endlessly on the trauma. I hope this helps. (I also have to stay the f#!k away from coffee, as it puts me in stress wind-up mode). Best of luck to you!❤
@@rosiep7642 I felt the same way being married, I stopped sleeping for over three months straight with no sleep. It does get better when they aren't around no more. It'll never go away tho, I still have nightmares at times but I don't let them stop me.
physical illness can be related to living with a narcissist, too, in my opinion. my first husband, many years ago, destroyed my self-esteem completely. he accused me of cheating, when he was the one who was cheating, and bragging to me about it. he insulted me in every possible way, and usually in front of our children. i developed ulcerative colitis after being married to him for just three years. it took 24 years of abuse for me to finally divorce him.
Im so sorry for what you went through. I'm so glad you're away from it! That's horrible you got sick like that. I've been coughing on & off a lot since May, I don't smoke but got it around me, & felt a choking feeling for mths. I said how I felt like I was choking a few nights ago & got asked did I have any jewellery on? Omg. Peace love & happiness & lots of it to you
I stayed 33 years...much too long...after 1 year of no contact I still feel physically and emotionally broken! I hope it will get a little bit better sometime.
Emotional abuse is not physically abusive at first, but it ends up that way. Those of us who are encouraged to stick it out in these relationships however they present, end up with illnesses while the narcissistic person is nourished by the suffering of their target.
It sure is - that’s exactly what I say. Torture. Or death by a thousand cuts. Get yourself some adrenal support supplements, some magnesium and herbal sleep aids. Also do some deep breathing exercises and a bedtime yoga nidra video if you can. Your nervous system is overactive and the resultant anxiety won’t let your mind rest when it needs to.
It often leads to schizophrenia! I observed this phenomenon in my childhood home, where my mother and 2 brothers all became schizophrenics as a result of years and years of severe narcissistic abuse.
@@DoubleOSevenOO7That's right. That was my father. But then he turned everyone else into a narcissist and I was everyone's scapegoat. They really came close to k!11!ng me. Set me up for the same abuse everywhere I went too
It's called Complex PTSD. Almost everything triggers fight, flight, or freeze after living so long in a situation where anything can result in being hurt.
I don’t want to get along, tired of one minute laughing and talking, next minute storm in their face, coming in door not speaking, when certain people are around the mask goes on when they leave, the nasty face returns. Sometimes it can be family, not just male, female relationships.😡
I am in exact same spot and thos past 8 days because of someone here because we had generator we let a couple friends stay, he really put on a show, and every time they were out of ear shot I was cussed and treated worse than usual, but sat and smiled , laughing, talking, while I had to cook, take care of animals, and try wash dishes ect, I felt like Cinderella and wondering when my prince would rescue me. Now others gone home and I'm furious at his forward behavior towards my friend, and acting like I was stupid and stuff that was jaw dropping obvious never happened
I was just thinking about being constantly in survival mode for most of my life and especially for the last 36 years and this video shows up. I'm away from most of my narcissistic abusers and have no energy. I only can sleep all the time. At night I still have to take sleep medication though. I experienced all of the things you talked about. Every single one of them. Maybe some day these abusers will be put in jail or shipped off to some deserted Island where they can be with their own kind. They are unfit to be among decent people.
While I was in my marriage with my narc husband for 21 years I was ALWAYS tired! I have realized he was sucking all of my energy. Now that I'm out of that marriage I feel like I'm 18 again!
For several years I was in a relationship with an alcoholic narcissist. I lived in a state of being both upset and angry at the same time. Almost everything you've said describes my ex. When I finally left for the last time he started stalking me. This went on for about 2 years. Sadly, he fell down the stairs, drunk, and broke his neck. I was shocked on one level, but not really. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia along with other health problems after he died. I will swear on the Bible that it was caused by the STRESS of living with him. He refused to believe that his words and behavior killed my love for him. He didn't physically abuse me. It was all mental. It will be 16 years in Nov. I still flinch when I hear a scooter.
yea 😢 and the other hard part is that the impact of it is not so visible, such that those who haven't experienced it don't fully understand the pain it's causing you.
I like it too how you describe it. I was born into a family of Narcs, later married to one. I chose to divorce him and focused on building my life. However, I met with Narc bosses at work which made my fatigue worse. I quit work. Now I am back to living with Narcs that raised me. I thought I was over them but no. I am very tired and constantly want to sleep or rest.
I spent a lot of my young life lying in bed. It wasn't just the tiredness.. it was an escape from the continual confrontation. I also became a night owl. I still love the night; so peaceful when nobody else is up and about.
it took me much anger that I never really had before to take a stand and create distance. It was so hard and went against my body's natural calm chill desired state, but I had to do it. My body was responding and I let it take its course. I also sought counselling during that time which gave me tools to help me work through things. 2 years now and I feel so much more whole and stronger too. I am still cautious and will want to build healthy relationships and become a healthier me.
I went through all of this as a child. I have never had a normal relationship. I attract narcissists. It's horrible. I have just given up on relationships. My childhood has ruined any chance for me to have a normal relationship.
Allow yourself the time to heal. Let go. Maybe try doing a healing meditation here on TH-cam to cut the cords that may still bind you to that person spiritually. That helped a friend of mine after she ended her narcissistic relationship.
My mom always makes things up. I went NC and now very LC for a year and half now from her and I have felt so much better. She has treated me like her personal assistant having me take her weekly grocery shopping , all her dr appointments , Xmas shopping , b day shopping. Get her meds , take her mail yo mailbox , hang her shower curtains and pictures etc. I finally put an end to it when she gave me the silent treatment on my b day bc I I told her no I wasn’t going to plan my own b day dinner with 10 people in less then 24 hours and I had 3 dr appointment ls the day after my b day but my b day isn’t about me. It was about her. She gave me the silent treatment bc SHE wanted to get out of the house. She chooses not to drive. She is perfectly able and healthy to but chooses not to so she expects me or my one sis to take her everywhere. She went NC with her entire family at 25 so she has never known what it felt like to work full time and drive someone all over the city running errands for them. I will never forget the time she called me and went on and on about how her tv went out and all she does is sit at home alone all day and how she needs a tv. So I drove to her house and picked her up. Took the tv home she picked out then she wanted food so I picked us up food. Then she acts helpless all the time so I hooked up her new tv to her cable and vcr etc and few min later she got on a conversation about when she passed she is going to leave everything ti my one sis bc she is the one that does everything for her. I won’t even get into the YEARS I took her weekly grocery shopping and her million dr appointments, running a million of her errands and signing her up for Medicare and driving her all over the place to find an apartment and doing all of her apartment paperwork and the list goes on. Well it was THAT day I finally realized no matter how much I do for her it will never be enough. She has always treated my ons sis as the golden child and she is the only one that gets recognition or a thank you for helping her. My mom’s I guess forgetful of the YEARs I helped her and paid her rent when she was about to be evicted and took her to the er a few times. So I’m done. Now she pesters the golden child constantly to do everything for her. I let my sis know I was done. I wil be there for urgent things but other then that I’m Not visiting her or spending anymore holidays or attending any place she will be. I’m done
You were getting Adrenal Fatigue. Vitamin C, iodized salt, massage, and breathing meditation will help you heal fast. Avoid coffee, spicy food, and stressful situations.
They are coming up now, the feelings! Explosive anger, it's so hard to think straight! & I've got other negative things & noise going on around me as well as dealing with 1 who's dragged me down, & constantly disappoints, criticises me often, says how to drive when I'm good & very safe & done it 13 yrs, i hardly cry this yr & last yr too, & I've got drama from them, criticism, chaotic, depressing environment. From them & where i exist at, & the bad people where they live
This is true for me as well. I divorced my narcissistic ex in 2003, but he wasn't done with me. He took our children, aged 5 and 7 yeats old, and disappeared. It took 7 years to finally be reunited with them, and the years following their return were spent trying to heal the trauma the children experienced at their father's hands. I've given up hope on healing for myself. I put all my hope on my children leading peaceful lives going forward.
I resonate with all of these symptoms. I dealt with my narcissistic ex for 23 years. I pray I can recover and get back to my normal self. Good luck everyone.
Great job as always straight to the point! Top tier of understanding of how tired and a lot fatigue gone I can't even leave home anymore and enjoy anything can't even sleep. The only time I need to get out is work over all that is all. I can't even say hi to someone being kind to me... So can't see anyways out. Thank you for pointing this out about about tiresome and fatigue. I appreciate your hard work. please keep up with content.😇
I’ve always wondered why I was so tired even after I’ve slept enough hours. Well, this explains it. Due to being the daughter of a narcissistic father, I can attest that being on high alert all the time among the other symptoms mentioned in the video can wear you down physically, mentally, and emotionally. Narcissists are DEMONIC.
2 years on October 7th, I fled my abusive Narc Huz.I am STILL exhausted and terribly unmotivated. Not a quick bounce back from this type of relationship.
We are proud of you and know you will recover. Take the time to heal but also give yourself permission. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for allowing these people to abuse us in the first place.
100% well said!! In my experience, this answers my question as all narcissistic people in my life did this & back yhen we didn't know what it was but now we do so it makes perfect sense?
This is the best description of what I experienced for 12 years. I didn't realize what was happening but I'm grateful I found an ounce of strength to walk away and work on "me". 2 years hence the exit, I feel better than I've ever felt before.
I thought I was dying when i got to the hospital after going through the ups and downs with the verbal and physical abuse. Im still not rite just yet. Its a battle everyday to keep on going, but i could never go back. Onward and upward is the only way now.
I can't freaking sleep. At night I just can't seem to find the motivation. Them I'm exhausted for a few days. I want ti go to bed early. I need healing please God.
Have you ever wondered why victims of narcissistic abuse often struggle with chronic fatigue and burnout? What hidden factors could be draining their energy that no one seems to talk about? let me know what you think. Let's talk about it in the comments
Ok, I have a challenge for you. I have autism and introvert surviving the narcissist from family and work. Since I have a hard time speaking to anyone those have been kind to me... and I been asking the one question... the answer I'll never get... 39yrs now answer I could never find. so would you mind shade some light it's the only thing I been stuck on for far too long now. no answer. once you see the signs on your research I'll be waiting to see your next content. Thanks again for your contents you have shared makes it easy for me not to explain... it too tiring for me to even speak... thanks.
@@angemon003You're not alone, ADD/ADHD HSP suffering in hell on earth at age 55. Finally discovered communication is like talking to a toddler. Waisted my time feeling sorry for my sister from hell as she came over to Rotterdam from abroad 1 year later. She abused me and blamed me for all kind of bs drama, devaluating me as if I am her PA. This negative unhappy psychopath drains my energy and shamed me at my entire family.
@@katjay3125assume silent treatments. You need to start self-love and stop being a people pleaser walking on eggshells. Narcs are chronically unhappy, like monologues, are copy cats, infants trapped in an adult body playing reactive mindgames. You shouldn't engage with them. No contact is better, or acting like you're dumb, ignoring them all together.
Wow. VERY useful. Also made me immediately aware of where I have internalized the habit of perpetual inner drama around something, and drain myself. It has also made parental traits crystal clear, plus the dysfunctional friends. Thank you!
Seak Jesus and you will be free! You are chosen by God to be the chain and the cycle breaker of this and you are put into this to free yourself as well as the whole next generation of your family. After you overcome it you will become a teacher to others and your testimony and knowledge will save others and that is why you need to endure this but you cannot fight it successfully on your own as it is a higher evil intelligence so you need Jesus to teach you how as he overcame them.That is why it is written in the Bible quotes they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony.That means you cannot overcome them on your own as you do not have the knowledge but Jesus knows them and overcame them and if you accept Jesus and follow him you will get all your answers.
You can never make your own decisions, what you do is never right, and the hounding to do things their way or the anger comes in to make you do it their way is exhausting. and if you do it wrong (in their eyes) well that is your fault because you cannot follow directions that they have given you. All about control. If you cry OMG . Lets not forget the isolation is awful, and for sleep well forget it, if they want you awake the door slams or the TV goes on or stomping their feet, anything to keep you awake. I have been woken by being yelled at because he just thought of something that i needed to hear and answer to right now. Then watching what i say and how i say it, is beyond tiring. There are no more crying alone tears left.
So I have left my husband and it has been almost two years. I am still exhausted. No energy. Can’t sleep good. My house is a mess. In physical pain from back. He gave me a chest injury that affects me so I cannot overexert myself. Now , how do you heal from that? You can’t even clean your own house. Your grown children can’t and won’t help you because “ you chose him” . They think you are lazy and don’t believe you are really trying . Even though you force yourself to get up and try every day to do something productive. Now what?
Ooohhh, yes. The story of my life in ten minutes. Narcissistic parents, narcissistic teachers, preachers, bosses, friends, family members, religious fanatics, etc. Oh my God, no wonder I suffer from migraines, and chronic fatigue. The only thing that I ever wanted in life was to be myself, and I was told by many people that was wrong. That was not what God wants.
They were everywhere in my life as well. Most people talk about having one of them in their life but I ran into them in every area of my life. I know for sure that I will pass on much earlier than I would have because of them.
You are a chosen one by God and that is the reason behind it all. People attacking you are the vessels being used by the enemy to attack you. Read Ephesians 6:12 we are not battling against the flesh and blood(people)but against the powers of the dark world and spiritual wickedness in higher places. Forgive the person as it is used as a vessel against you and some are even not aware of it and some are but rebuke the evil spirits in that person in Jesus mighty name.Bind them in the person according to Scripture in Mathew 18:18 as it binds them on Earth as well as in heaven from functioning. Once you are born again they will be scared from you as they then will know themselves that you realise not only that you have authority over them through Luke 10:19 but you will learn how to use your authority over them.With accepting Jesus and repenting of your sins and sins of your ancestors and Jesus in Luke 10:19 as believers gives us the key solution of this situation the authority over them.Read first the New Testament and then the Old one and always base your prayers on the promises given to us by God in his Word(Bible) which is your sword to fight this battle.That is why you need to get to know the word of God well so you can protect yourself from this things.
I also has similar experiences , but then after recovery i destroyed two narcissists completely . Narcissists are cowards they observe your behaviour patterns and plot against you.
@@Jathinr Yes that is true but you can’t completely win them as it is an evil spirit that is doing this nonsense and for this you need to knowledge that is given to us in the Bible as we are not battling people but spirits in people( Ephesians 6:12).
@@anci2aa. “Those who dig a pit for others fall into it.” By judging/accusing us like demons, they bind themselves to the Law, but we are loosed because we have chosen to be judged by merciful Christ instead. They are choosing their own judgment when it comes to binding, it isn’t even something we have to do, but a matter of fact as long as they reject Christ.
I left a narcissistic family to another narcissistic family most of my life escape goated forever , I never knew it wasn't normal till I broke away and got alone to figure it out .
Truth. experiencing this as we speak. After being in this type of relationship for twelve years now. I have noticed a drastic drop in energy and motivation. My gf is now calling me "lazy". my response to her is its just a factor of getting older.
My narcissistic father who had a huge amount of contempt towards me (scapegoat) passed away a year ago. It feels like it will take the rest of my life to physically and emotionally recover. Fifty four years is a very long time to be dealing with a narcissist. Chronic depletion.
@@anci2aa Thank you, yes, am learning about that and trying to have faith and trust in Him. I just became a Christian ten months ago and am new in my walk with Jesus. Thank you for your response and encouraging message to me.
My father was emtionally and occasionally physically abusive when I was a child/teenager, to me and to my mother. I remember returning home once when I was 13 or something, and I went to the bathroom to wash my hands, and the bathtub was covered with blood drops. I ran to my Mom, and I saw that she was hiding her nose with her hand and saying, "I'm fine, it's nothing... Oh, just a moment, I haven't cleaned the mess in the bathroom until you were back home, I'm so sorry." And I was like, "Mom? Mom, has he punched you in the face? Mom, please divorce NOW, Mom, we cannot be like that anymore!" I had that gut-wrenching feeling... I think that might be the first time I felt anhedonia and dissociation. I was so tired of this stuff. My Mom has been always so strong mentally, she has been the one who provided for the family. Seeing her like that was a shock and a revelation. Since then I went into the shut-down mode which lasted well into my 20s. It was, like, the breaking point. I saw my Dad threatening and beating my Mom since I was 6. I remember the very first time; since then I couldn't sleep a whole night, ever. I am 36, and I never sleep more than 4 hours at a time. I wake up at 3 or 4 am, and I cannot sleep. Long story short... My Mom eventually divorced my Dad, after 25 years of marriage. You know, the worst part with narcissists is, you can really love them. So, even though I think my Mom has always known that he'd never change, she decided to give birth to my brother, who is 16 years younger than me. My brother has Asperger's (he was diagnosed when there was still that separate diagnosis), and I have ADHD. I kind of suspect that it makes things harder for both of us 😅 ADHD had been my savior during the hard times, with its doubly strong "always on high alert" thing; but, of course, it comes with a price. I had been using its wonderful properties extensively my whole life without suspecting I had it, until the diagnosis at 32. My doctor had been observing me for years before suggesting it. Before that, I had been treated for panic attacks (of course), for anxiety and, eventually, for depression. Enter methylphenidate. Well, what can I tell you? I was sceptical. But then I could meditate for the first time in my life, and I slept through the night. I swear by this medication. When there was a shortage, I jumped off 50 mg LA, and I barely felt anything except mild sleepiness for a few days. Tapering of humble citalopram 10 mg had been much harder, but this is just my experience. So, as you can see, I failed to make a long story short... After tapering off antidepressants, I was sooooo relieved to be able to cry again. Now, in no way I am saying that antidepressants are "bad." They are life-saving for many people. It's just that almost always you need trial and error to find what suits you best, anf yes, they do help, but they don't solve the root cause, IMHO (although I know people who took the meds for a year or something, and that's it, their troubles went away). Therapy does. Good therapy, not some "life coaches" with no proper education and skills or other snake-oil doctors. I am currently uprooting relentlessly some very bad behaviors that I've learned in childhood, like being passive-aggressive, pushing away people whom you love and who love you, and yes - being emotionally abusive sometimes. This is the worst. All the aggression and anger in me had always been targeted inwards, and recently this has changed. I went into kick-boxing to deal with it, and it helps; but I still have this rubber band on my wrist for the times I hurt my partner without recognizing it. Then they remind me of it, and I train my brain to learn new ways of living - just as it had learned it for the very first time: through pain.
100% they drive you to chronic mental and physical illness. I hate my nex and parents for what they've done! All 3 selfish to their egotistical cores! You can't really and just breathe and be yourself. We have to protect ourselves and atop giving our best parts to them. They make you miserablem cracking up and back and forth with illness to a fro from the doctors.
I hate my narcissistic parents and sometimes my narcissistic husband who passed away a year ago. I stuck by all of them stupidly for life. The one good thing I did was to ditch my ugly mother in her final years and left her to my narcissistic sisters to take her 💩. Finally I got smart in my old age.
I've struggled with chronic fatigue and burnout all my life. My mother is BPD and a narcissist. I've spent a lot of time in therapy trying to untangle the issues she's given me. I never connected my health problems to my upbringing before though.
The quote ' Unexpressed emotions will never die, they buried alive and come back later in uglier ways' Was actually a quote from Sigmund Freud, but still love Gabor mate none the less
OK so how do people get better? When they've been slandered how do they get better if they've asked for help from the police and other entities and they're rejected because they've been slandered and blacklisted. How do things get better?
I have the same question! It’s been 8 years for me since I left but was married to him for 23 yrs. The last four years I was extremely sick with anxiety, depression & colon issues as my body completely broke down finally from all the stress. That all got better slowly, after getting away from the daily toxicity. But the fatigue remains!😓
Sad facts I feel tired all the time. He helped destroy me taking care of my Grandbaby and my very own children. Ever since I get Involved with this person my mental and physical health has been in danger. All true they will make you miserable feeling like there isn't hope.
Had a friend tell me i was being gaslit aaaannd told my partner in the midst of a fight and i felt bad for keeping it from him and now i cant speak to her.... how does one feel not so Guilty to leave this 10Y thing
Narcissists will say something disrespectful in hopes it'll bother you so much that you'll have insomnia. If you don't water that narcissistic seed and get a good night's rest, the narcissist will look homicidal the next day when you look well rested. Narcissists know exactly what they're doing to their targets.
Can you imagine if you could just ignore a person like this and not care about what they think or do? Imagine just packing up and leaving along with the peace that would come with that.
They also literally deprive you of sleep purposely.
I was thinking about that too.
Yes ! Yes ! Yes ! Finally somebody says this !! It's true. They beat you down internally. I finally went into acute respiratory failure and now I'm on oxygen for life. Never ever been sick in my life !!
God bless you. @@crimeaftercrime9888
My ex narc used to have his alarm go off at 5 am and hit snooze then let it continue every 15 mins for an hour
@@stardustdreams234 Bet you're not ready for this one... Besides being a neurotic idiot mine was a meth user. Holy shit Batman. Wear you to a damn frazzle, all that shittiness combined with up for hours sometimes days. I barely ever slept.
After 11 years, I'm on oxygen and can hardly make it thru the grocery store. The fatigue has just about killed me. Was never sick a day in my life until about a year ago. Now eligible for disability at only 59. Ruined my career and cost me everything.
I'm out of it and still exhausted.
Me too girl me too and it’s been 3months I think ..something like that .. still so lost and numb empty. Still can’t rest .. it feels like a 24/7 panic attack and disassociated state.. but it’s been that for.. probably the last year.. wow.. that realization is crazy. I’m right there with you.. I know this will never help or make it better but I’m sorry for how he treated you . Nobody should ever have to go through it I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy . I wonder do we ever really heal from this and will things ever feel okay again
Embrace Yourself!
@@freestyler5
It took me 4 years to get over the narcissist partner.
But it was just the beginning of realisation that the problem was miles deeper!
I was brought up by a narcissistic mother. Comparatively to her the narcissist partner was almost an angel!
Now I can't deal with the pain.
Unfortunately recovery can take rather a long time.
I’m currently in it! I have 4 children ( small children) it’s wearing me down !
It’s scary how many therapists don’t understand this stuff
1. Drama
2. Gaslighting
3. Emotional Suppression
4. Inconsistent Affection
5. Co-dependency
6. Emotional Numbness
7. Loss of social support
8. Sleep disturbances
9. Dissociation
10. Chronic stress response
Basically me
This list is perfect been dealing with this for decades in the marriage
@@sanjeevbains690I was most of that. I had a lot if work to do on myself before I ever entered a relationship. I only realised later thankfully. A narcissist will make you see your shadow self I think.
Narcissist are just pure evil
You got that right ✅️ I agree 💯
The devil’s children
I was always exhausted and tired, and had to take naps to function. The narcissist would always question why I was so tired. Now I realize it was him causing it!
That’s me too.
How?
I'm sorry for the pain you endured.
I'm still in a relationship with the most unconscionable actions. This video is spot on. I'm so tired.
I'll pray that life gets better for you.
Ok so how did u get away from them?
@@ManeThingz it is not as hard as people think. There are no chains attached and hopefully you are not caged so you can choose to stay or walk away. A few questions to help yourself with that before blaming a narcissist for been a narcissist.
Ask yourself.
Why are you attending to a sh1tshow? You too are toxic af and need to change, are you aware of your owm toxicity?
Do you enjoy suffering and victim playing?
Are you someone who says I love my partner but I wish they would change? That's not love hun. That's Codependency.
Do you understand Codependency?
Are you behaving like your partners parent instead of his partner that he once new?
Do you understand that neediness is attractive to "nobody'.
How much do you intend on loving yourself?
The choices are yours. Its your mind that keeps you stuck.
I was drained. By time I got done doing, doing and doing. I had nothing left for me.
😢😢I know how it feels like
@@umesultan7148 They always want more.
When you quit giving, they call you selfish. Thats what happened to me.
No more. I have limits now. It feels so good becoming me again.💖🙏
Yeahh me too... Sending you both love..... 😢❤
I understand. I was exhausted before I left home at 20, being raised by Narcissistic parents.
My brother said to stop thinking it's a home, to realize it's a POW camp with enemies, that it's disguised as a house with humans you think might change. If the same events happened to a prisoner from guards it would be obvious. Be smart and safely leave. It was good advice.
💔Wow!
Excellent comment. I remember my father would when he was angry, find something to take out on me, he would have me stand there while he screamed at me, it reminded me how guards in a pow camp break down prisoners resolve. Then he would be buying me gifts another day. Screwed my head up. Great analogy✌
That's really good advice.
When my parents came to visit during my divorce ( my ex is the narc), my dad said I reminded him of a POW camp survivor! What a good observation from your brother.😮👍🏻❤️
Growing up, I always considered myself as a housed homeless person (once I could put things in words). When I was little, I drew a picture of me behind bars with all of life going on everywhere I wasn't. I stopped talking to my mom in my 20s, then she turned and abused one of her friends instead. She threw me back in the fire by telling me she was having life and death surgery (she got elective gastric bypass 🙄). I mean, she really dumped on the friend, so I guess I can't blame her. She dumped a big, crazy dog on her when she said multiple times she couldn't have dogs. Then my mom refused to take the dog back! So, yeah, that being among other things they my mom did, her being blindsided by her "friend" made her use me as a shield☹️
God moved me across the country from my mom. I didn't want to move, but had to. Even though things weren't smooth, I can see how God put a bunch of barriers between us❤️ Thank You, God!
The exhaustion and chronic fatigue is real.. my body stay in fight or flight😢
Pray, stop answering them...
Imagine being raised by them and coming from a culture full of them. Everyday I am tired. I finally can rest. I'm healing. I will heal.
Me too. Both parents are narcs.
Same here and fundamental Baptist homeschool
Same here I'm surrounded by them
Yep, I was raised by a self righteous narc and a vulnerable narc. Hyper religious home, we were beat often, yelled at constantly, always judged, there was no love from my parents. As kids the public would say we were so well behaved, they didn’t see the abuse we were trying to avoid if we didn’t behave correctly. My parents are evil. It’s been 12 years since I left their home and my body still struggles to relax…
@@mystiquevening it's like we lived in the same house 💔 I hope you're able to relax a little easier now, you're not alone 🙏
I lived in this hell for 50 years. I didn't know what was going on.
My narcissist mother always screams that I was lazy and disgusting.
All the problems start in childhood. A narcissistic partner is a result of childhood trauma.
There is only one advice - RUN AWAY WHILST YOU ARE STILL YOUNG!!!
Don't waste your life.
I did it to its a time stealing disease infected by a narcissistic people that are paricites that suck your essence like vampires
64 years and in my intense therapy for 8 years, so far - think I’m gonna be there a while longer!! ❤
Listen to our elders. Theyre FULL OF WISDOM. If we LISTEN THE FIRST TIME, we would dodge a lot of HELL
THANK GOD FOR THE OG’S
TRUTH SPOKEN!! I have pissed away my years.
I pray that you are living life to the fullest now.
These are people who have DEMONIC INFLUENCE IN THEM.
This causes many health problems and hard to just relax and never being able to control anxiety in your own body.
This is so true. I had such high blood pressure my dentist said if it was any higher he couldn’t work on me (even for a simple cleaning) and they’d send me to the emergency room. I’d have dizzy spells where I’d almost black out. I have at least gotten that under control with deep breathing exercises and meditative yin yoga. Which reminds me, I haven’t done much to care for myself in a while after the latest nonsense.
It causes autoimmune disorders and ptsd too
@@mjrussell414My heart is always beating very fast that I could hear my heart beat. Is this a sign of what you were going through pls?
It’s taken me 8 months of no contact and daily jumping on a rebounder (mini trampoline) to start feeling even an iota of normalcy. I’m feeling stronger, slowly but steadily losing weight and getting lots of rest as well as sleep. I still have the occasional nap after I come home from work. But that is slowly becoming less frequent. It’s also taken me 8 months to start feeling angry at how I was treated all those years. It came out of nowhere so I’ve been trying to deal with that as well.
These narcs are evil and must be avoided at all costs. I recently found out he has a new girlfriend. I pity her.
Oh, does that help? I have a hula hoop, but I don't have enough energy to do it as much as I want. Also, my dog keeps putting his face too close and stares at me all weird if I block him off😂
Losing weight and getting good rest was something I noticed too after having more distance. Hope you are doing well 💕
@@gohawks3571Ha! I have a weighted hula hoop too and my cat would try to grab it. I should go back to doing it again
When I get my energy back. I don’t have a rebounder anymore but maybe I should get one (if the narcissistic husband doesn’t make fun of the idea like he has in the past), but a few years ago, I did get a vibration plate machine to help my body detox when I was battling a digestive disorder and chronic fatigue. I felt it helped me and didn’t take much more effort than standing on it. I’d play uplifting music and do some light arm exercises while doing it. Also try relaxing and restorative yin yoga. That also helped me a lot. Which reminds me to restart my diet and exercise plan because my tummy symptoms are acting up again…
12 years later and there are times I still feel exhausted, burnt out and depressed. Some days are great but my ex left myself and our daughter forever traumatized.
Try taking adrenal support supplements, doing deep breathing exercises to reset your overwrought vagus nerve, and maybe some meditations, like yoga nidras and relaxing exercises like restorative yin yoga. Those have all helped me a lot, which reminds me to restart doing my self care more regularly.
I've been divorced from a monster for 5 1/2 years, and I'm STILL always tired. I realized just recently that I'm actually terrified every minute of every day. He had planned to kill me at least two different times. At the end of our time living in the same house, I woke up many times in the middle of the night to find him standing by my bedside staring at me. I had to start barricading my door so I could sleep. As far as I know, I'm no longer in real danger, but I can't find a way to let go.
😭💔
The recent(ish) findings on dealing with PTSD that work the best for me, is to physicalize it. Instead of talk therapy, MOVEMENT is key, because all the crap is lodged in one's nervous system; so, dance, running, martial arts---get the blood and sweat pumping, and/or the slowing-down stuff. The important thing is to INTERRUPT a PTSD moment right when it occurs, with anything, even trivial stuff; that way, your brain and body stop looping endlessly on the trauma. I hope this helps. (I also have to stay the f#!k away from coffee, as it puts me in stress wind-up mode). Best of luck to you!❤
@@rosiep7642 I felt the same way being married, I stopped sleeping for over three months straight with no sleep. It does get better when they aren't around no more. It'll never go away tho, I still have nightmares at times but I don't let them stop me.
Read Psalms 91 and 23 at midnights or when you can’t sleep. Put you name in the Psalms and pray to Jesus Christ asking him for deliverance from evil.
I'm so sorry.
😢🙏
A Narcissist will literally Drain your life and Will as well as Hope right out of your Soul !!!
physical illness can be related to living with a narcissist, too, in my opinion. my first husband, many years ago, destroyed my self-esteem completely. he accused me of cheating, when he was the one who was cheating, and bragging to me about it. he insulted me in every possible way, and usually in front of our children. i developed ulcerative colitis after being married to him for just three years. it took 24 years of abuse for me to finally divorce him.
Good for you that you did it though! I'm inspired by courageous women like you.
Me too.. I got chronic illness. I lasted 40 yrs. Too long.
Im so sorry for what you went through. I'm so glad you're away from it! That's horrible you got sick like that. I've been coughing on & off a lot since May, I don't smoke but got it around me, & felt a choking feeling for mths. I said how I felt like I was choking a few nights ago & got asked did I have any jewellery on? Omg. Peace love & happiness & lots of it to you
I stayed 33 years...much too long...after 1 year of no contact I still feel physically and emotionally broken!
I hope it will get a little bit better sometime.
So glad you got away from him!
I just had a HORRIBLE stomach ache for
Too Long
Me too, every single time the thought of my parents pop up!
Chronic stomach pain and nausea! I’m 64 and still in my 8th year of Therapy.
@@cynthiaklug6020
Embrace Who You Are...
Let the World See Your Goodness
@@lynnienorris5776
@@lynnienorris5776Thank you for your support and kind words!
Emotional abuse is not physically abusive at first, but it ends up that way. Those of us who are encouraged to stick it out in these relationships however they present, end up with illnesses while the narcissistic person is nourished by the suffering of their target.
And now I know why I can't sleep! Narcissistic abuse is torture!
It sure is - that’s exactly what I say. Torture. Or death by a thousand cuts.
Get yourself some adrenal support supplements, some magnesium and herbal sleep aids. Also do some deep breathing exercises and a bedtime yoga nidra video if you can. Your nervous system is overactive and the resultant anxiety won’t let your mind rest when it needs to.
I always have wondered why I yawn when I talk to certain people more
It often leads to schizophrenia! I observed this phenomenon in my childhood home, where my mother and 2 brothers all became schizophrenics as a result of years and years of severe narcissistic abuse.
Ah, so _that's_ why the voices are getting chirpier...
@@E4439Qv5 😂
I’ve read lots of articles that have one person in your house is mentally unbalanced. They will make the whole household sick and sure enough he has!!
@@DoubleOSevenOO7That's right. That was my father. But then he turned everyone else into a narcissist and I was everyone's scapegoat. They really came close to k!11!ng me. Set me up for the same abuse everywhere I went too
@@AJLinthe5D😢 I'm sorry. You deserve better !!!
Its due to living in fight or flee all the time
Ya.. it's so stupid..
It's called Complex PTSD. Almost everything triggers fight, flight, or freeze after living so long in a situation where anything can result in being hurt.
Exactly
The freeze state too. You're numb and disassociating because you can't deal with the pain.
Exactly.
I don’t want to get along, tired of one minute laughing and talking, next minute storm in their face, coming in door not speaking, when certain people are around the mask goes on when they leave, the nasty face returns. Sometimes it can be family, not just male, female relationships.😡
I am in exact same spot and thos past 8 days because of someone here because we had generator we let a couple friends stay, he really put on a show, and every time they were out of ear shot I was cussed and treated worse than usual, but sat and smiled , laughing, talking, while I had to cook, take care of animals, and try wash dishes ect, I felt like Cinderella and wondering when my prince would rescue me. Now others gone home and I'm furious at his forward behavior towards my friend, and acting like I was stupid and stuff that was jaw dropping obvious never happened
Yup my own mother. Exhausted
Oh yes do i ever know this scenario, it’s played out every day by my hubs the narc!!
@@sandrawright6916😢 i can relate, my spouse is the same way! As soon as company leaves off comes the mask!! 😫😡
Family uh huh! Enemies is more like it.
I was just thinking about being constantly in survival mode for most of my life and especially for the last 36 years and this video shows up. I'm away from most of my narcissistic abusers and have no energy. I only can sleep all the time. At night I still have to take sleep medication though. I experienced all of the things you talked about. Every single one of them. Maybe some day these abusers will be put in jail or shipped off to some deserted Island where they can be with their own kind. They are unfit to be among decent people.
yes, I have fully recovered but I needed two years for that
same here 💕 Keep going strong sister ❣️
How did u recover?
@@Dolled_up_monk I am able to feel happiness, joy and inner peace again. And my health is better
While I was in my marriage with my narc husband for 21 years I was ALWAYS tired! I have realized he was sucking all of my energy. Now that I'm out of that marriage I feel like I'm 18 again!
Prayers for providence from narcissists and Jezebel Spirits.
What is a jezebel spirit?
@@pradeeshalbert1625 🙏🏾🙏🏾😊🙏🏾
@@borntodiy
Jezebel was the wife of King Arab in the Bible. She killed prophets of God.
For several years I was in a relationship with an alcoholic narcissist. I lived in a state of being both upset and angry at the same time. Almost everything you've said describes my ex. When I finally left for the last time he started stalking me. This went on for about 2 years. Sadly, he fell down the stairs, drunk, and broke his neck. I was shocked on one level, but not really. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia along with other health problems after he died. I will swear on the Bible that it was caused by the STRESS of living with him. He refused to believe that his words and behavior killed my love for him. He didn't physically abuse me. It was all mental. It will be 16 years in Nov. I still flinch when I hear a scooter.
Its like getting born in to a battle field,,withno ammunition, army suit to protect yourself,,,
I like how you describe it. That's how I lived it.
yea 😢 and the other hard part is that the impact of it is not so visible, such that those who haven't experienced it don't fully understand the pain it's causing you.
I like it too how you describe it. I was born into a family of Narcs, later married to one. I chose to divorce him and focused on building my life.
However, I met with Narc bosses at work which made my fatigue worse. I quit work.
Now I am back to living with Narcs that raised me.
I thought I was over them but no.
I am very tired and constantly want to sleep or rest.
I spent a lot of my young life lying in bed. It wasn't just the tiredness.. it was an escape from the continual confrontation.
I also became a night owl. I still love the night; so peaceful when nobody else is up and about.
Same
Sadly , this is all true. RUN!!!!!!
My ex-husband used to say, I need to put you under my control. I was 23 and did not understand the magnitude of the problem.
I was naive.
When you know you need to leave but you just can't so you suffer in silence hoping things will change but they never do...
it took me much anger that I never really had before to take a stand and create distance. It was so hard and went against my body's natural calm chill desired state, but I had to do it. My body was responding and I let it take its course. I also sought counselling during that time which gave me tools to help me work through things. 2 years now and I feel so much more whole and stronger too. I am still cautious and will want to build healthy relationships and become a healthier me.
THIS EXACTLY WHAT I AM FACING RIGHT NOW IN OCTOBER MONTH 2024 FOR THE LAST ELEVEN YEARS
I went through all of this as a child. I have never had a normal relationship. I attract narcissists. It's horrible. I have just given up on relationships. My childhood has ruined any chance for me to have a normal relationship.
Same here don't date anymore I'm done ,gave my life to Jesus never been so loved ❤😊
Me too! I became attachment avoidant or codependent.
6 years after divorced. Im still tired physically n mentally esp.
Allow yourself the time to heal. Let go. Maybe try doing a healing meditation here on TH-cam to cut the cords that may still bind you to that person spiritually. That helped a friend of mine after she ended her narcissistic relationship.
Same. Too many flashbacks, too much internal fighting against old behavioral patterns.
They start shit just as you're leaving for work. Ruin your day before it even begins
They can only do that if you stay with them and keep attending to that toxic bs. Leave.
My mom would do that every day before school. I hated going to school and crying through my first class!
Exactly....this happened to me
My mom always makes things up. I went NC and now very LC for a year and half now from her and I have felt so much better. She has treated me like her personal assistant having me take her weekly grocery shopping , all her dr appointments , Xmas shopping , b day shopping. Get her meds , take her mail yo mailbox , hang her shower curtains and pictures etc. I finally put an end to it when she gave me the silent treatment on my b day bc I I told her no I wasn’t going to plan my own b day dinner with 10 people in less then 24 hours and I had 3 dr appointment ls the day after my b day but my b day isn’t about me. It was about her. She gave me the silent treatment bc SHE wanted to get out of the house. She chooses not to drive. She is perfectly able and healthy to but chooses not to so she expects me or my one sis to take her everywhere. She went NC with her entire family at 25 so she has never known what it felt like to work full time and drive someone all over the city running errands for them. I will never forget the time she called me and went on and on about how her tv went out and all she does is sit at home alone all day and how she needs a tv. So I drove to her house and picked her up. Took the tv home she picked out then she wanted food so I picked us up food. Then she acts helpless all the time so I hooked up her new tv to her cable and vcr etc and few min later she got on a conversation about when she passed she is going to leave everything ti my one sis bc she is the one that does everything for her. I won’t even get into the YEARS I took her weekly grocery shopping and her million dr appointments, running a million of her errands and signing her up for Medicare and driving her all over the place to find an apartment and doing all of her apartment paperwork and the list goes on. Well it was THAT day I finally realized no matter how much I do for her it will never be enough. She has always treated my ons sis as the golden child and she is the only one that gets recognition or a thank you for helping her. My mom’s I guess forgetful of the YEARs I helped her and paid her rent when she was about to be evicted and took her to the er a few times. So I’m done. Now she pesters the golden child constantly to do everything for her. I let my sis know I was done. I wil be there for urgent things but other then that I’m
Not visiting her or spending anymore holidays or attending any place she will be. I’m done
You were getting Adrenal Fatigue. Vitamin C, iodized salt, massage, and breathing meditation will help you heal fast. Avoid coffee, spicy food, and stressful situations.
They are coming up now, the feelings! Explosive anger, it's so hard to think straight! & I've got other negative things & noise going on around me as well as dealing with 1 who's dragged me down, & constantly disappoints, criticises me often, says how to drive when I'm good & very safe & done it 13 yrs, i hardly cry this yr & last yr too, & I've got drama from them, criticism, chaotic, depressing environment. From them & where i exist at, & the bad people where they live
After a narcissistic mother and ex husband I have chronic fatigue, body pain and fibromyalgia. Those vampires will bleed you dry.
This is true for me as well. I divorced my narcissistic ex in 2003, but he wasn't done with me. He took our children, aged 5 and 7 yeats old, and disappeared. It took 7 years to finally be reunited with them, and the years following their return were spent trying to heal the trauma the children experienced at their father's hands.
I've given up hope on healing for myself. I put all my hope on my children leading peaceful lives going forward.
My story to a ‘T’
💯 relate
It's because they're so exhausting.
And BORING
@@AG-iu9lv it becomes boring like they try to spice it up with craziness but we're all done.
Yep
They have no inner peace and are always in turmoil and want you to feel the same way.
I resonate with all of these symptoms. I dealt with my narcissistic ex for 23 years. I pray I can recover and get back to my normal self. Good luck everyone.
Great job as always straight to the point! Top tier of understanding of how tired and a lot fatigue gone I can't even leave home anymore and enjoy anything can't even sleep. The only time I need to get out is work over all that is all. I can't even say hi to someone being kind to me... So can't see anyways out. Thank you for pointing this out about about tiresome and fatigue. I appreciate your hard work. please keep up with content.😇
This is on top of studying healthcare and computer science in college.
Take time for your own self care dear one. We believe in you.
I’ve always wondered why I was so tired even after I’ve slept enough hours. Well, this explains it. Due to being the daughter of a narcissistic father, I can attest that being on high alert all the time among the other symptoms mentioned in the video can wear you down physically, mentally, and emotionally. Narcissists are DEMONIC.
2 years on October 7th, I fled my abusive Narc Huz.I am STILL exhausted and terribly unmotivated.
Not a quick bounce back from this type of relationship.
We are proud of you and know you will recover. Take the time to heal but also give yourself permission. Sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for allowing these people to abuse us in the first place.
100% well said!! In my experience, this answers my question as all narcissistic people in my life did this & back yhen we didn't know what it was but now we do so it makes perfect sense?
This is the best description of what I experienced for 12 years. I didn't realize what was happening but I'm grateful I found an ounce of strength to walk away and work on "me". 2 years hence the exit, I feel better than I've ever felt before.
This is 💯 % Accurate
Like electricity going through your body
I thought I was dying when i got to the hospital after going through the ups and downs with the verbal and physical abuse.
Im still not rite just yet. Its a battle everyday to keep on going, but i could never go back. Onward and upward is the only way now.
I can't freaking sleep. At night I just can't seem to find the motivation.
Them I'm exhausted for a few days.
I want ti go to bed early. I need healing please God.
Have you ever wondered why victims of narcissistic abuse often struggle with chronic fatigue and burnout? What hidden factors could be draining their energy that no one seems to talk about?
let me know what you think.
Let's talk about it in the comments
Ok, I have a challenge for you. I have autism and introvert surviving the narcissist from family and work. Since I have a hard time speaking to anyone those have been kind to me... and I been asking the one question... the answer I'll never get... 39yrs now answer I could never find. so would you mind shade some light it's the only thing I been stuck on for far too long now. no answer. once you see the signs on your research I'll be waiting to see your next content. Thanks again for your contents you have shared makes it easy for me not to explain... it too tiring for me to even speak... thanks.
So What's the question?
@@angemon003You're not alone, ADD/ADHD HSP suffering in hell on earth at age 55. Finally discovered communication is like talking to a toddler. Waisted my time feeling sorry for my sister from hell as she came over to Rotterdam from abroad 1 year later. She abused me and blamed me for all kind of bs drama, devaluating me as if I am her PA. This negative unhappy psychopath drains my energy and shamed me at my entire family.
@@katjay3125assume silent treatments. You need to start self-love and stop being a people pleaser walking on eggshells. Narcs are chronically unhappy, like monologues, are copy cats, infants trapped in an adult body playing reactive mindgames. You shouldn't engage with them. No contact is better, or acting like you're dumb, ignoring them all together.
We live in a world where empaths need to see a psychologist and predators keep on making victims.
Wow. VERY useful. Also made me immediately aware of where I have internalized the habit of perpetual inner drama around something, and drain myself. It has also made parental traits crystal clear, plus the dysfunctional friends. Thank you!
I’m exhausted always. 😢 abuse from family and then of course toxic relationships caus narcissistic ppl are all I’ve known I’m breaking the cycle now
Me too Brittany.
Seak Jesus and you will be free! You are chosen by God to be the chain and the cycle breaker of this and you are put into this to free yourself as well as the whole next generation of your family. After you overcome it you will become a teacher to others and your testimony and knowledge will save others and that is why you need to endure this but you cannot fight it successfully on your own as it is a higher evil intelligence so you need Jesus to teach you how as he overcame them.That is why it is written in the Bible quotes they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of their testimony.That means you cannot overcome them on your own as you do not have the knowledge but Jesus knows them and overcame them and if you accept Jesus and follow him you will get all your answers.
@@anci2aaAmen
Boy did i learn. Thank you for sharing this information. Blessings 🙌
I am ALWAYS tired even when I'm not around the DEVILS!
You can never make your own decisions, what you do is never right, and the hounding to do things their way or the anger comes in to make you do it their way is exhausting. and if you do it wrong (in their eyes) well that is your fault because you cannot follow directions that they have given you. All about control. If you cry OMG . Lets not forget the isolation is awful, and for sleep well forget it, if they want you awake the door slams or the TV goes on or stomping their feet, anything to keep you awake. I have been woken by being yelled at because he just thought of something that i needed to hear and answer to right now. Then watching what i say and how i say it, is beyond tiring. There are no more crying alone tears left.
So I have left my husband and it has been almost two years. I am still exhausted. No energy. Can’t sleep good. My house is a mess. In physical pain from back. He gave me a chest injury that affects me so I cannot overexert myself. Now , how do you heal from that? You can’t even clean your own house. Your grown children can’t and won’t help you because “ you chose him” . They think you are lazy and don’t believe you are really trying . Even though you force yourself to get up and try every day to do something productive. Now what?
Stop forcing yourself. REST. It's just chores. Easier said than done I know. But your body has to adapt to a new program. It takes time. ❤
@@CarmenGutierrez-p8d
Thank you
Ooohhh, yes. The story of my life in ten minutes. Narcissistic parents, narcissistic teachers, preachers, bosses, friends, family members, religious fanatics, etc. Oh my God, no wonder I suffer from migraines, and chronic fatigue. The only thing that I ever wanted in life was to be myself, and I was told by many people that was wrong. That was not what God wants.
They were everywhere in my life as well. Most people talk about having one of them in their life but I ran into them in every area of my life. I know for sure that I will pass on much earlier than I would have because of them.
You are a chosen one by God and that is the reason behind it all. People attacking you are the vessels being used by the enemy to attack you. Read Ephesians 6:12 we are not battling against the flesh and blood(people)but against the powers of the dark world and spiritual wickedness in higher places. Forgive the person as it is used as a vessel against you and some are even not aware of it and some are but rebuke the evil spirits in that person in Jesus mighty name.Bind them in the person according to Scripture in Mathew 18:18 as it binds them on Earth as well as in heaven from functioning. Once you are born again they will be scared from you as they then will know themselves that you realise not only that you have authority over them through Luke 10:19 but you will learn how to use your authority over them.With accepting Jesus and repenting of your sins and sins of your ancestors and Jesus in Luke 10:19 as believers gives us the key solution of this situation the authority over them.Read first the New Testament and then the Old one and always base your prayers on the promises given to us by God in his Word(Bible) which is your sword to fight this battle.That is why you need to get to know the word of God well so you can protect yourself from this things.
I also has similar experiences , but then after recovery i destroyed two narcissists completely . Narcissists are cowards they observe your behaviour patterns and plot against you.
@@Jathinr Yes that is true but you can’t completely win them as it is an evil spirit that is doing this nonsense and for this you need to knowledge that is given to us in the Bible as we are not battling people but spirits in people( Ephesians 6:12).
@@anci2aa. “Those who dig a pit for others fall into it.” By judging/accusing us like demons, they bind themselves to the Law, but we are loosed because we have chosen to be judged by merciful Christ instead. They are choosing their own judgment when it comes to binding, it isn’t even something we have to do, but a matter of fact as long as they reject Christ.
I was never good enough for her.14 years and two awesome kids. 90% of this is my story.
Thank you for the explanation in this helpful video
Zapped because they take everything and give nothing day after day, year after year. Not a kind thought, not a kind word, not a kind deed. That’s why.
I worked with a woman like this. Was hired to work with her because she stirred the pot, I still haven't recovered from her.
The Narcissistic individual is unconscious…….end of.
Absolute truth.
I'm on the street now after going to jail these people have had the better of me for so long they've got their way now
I left a narcissistic family to another narcissistic family most of my life escape goated forever , I never knew it wasn't normal till I broke away and got alone to figure it out .
BPD too.
Narcissists, typically parents, can cause BPD in the child.
everyone in my life treats me like this
When people ask me how I am I immediately say, “I’m tired”
Truth. experiencing this as we speak. After being in this type of relationship for twelve years now. I have noticed a drastic drop in energy and motivation. My gf is now calling me "lazy". my response to her is its just a factor of getting older.
My narcissistic father who had a huge amount of contempt towards me (scapegoat) passed away a year ago. It feels like it will take the rest of my life to physically and emotionally recover. Fifty four years is a very long time to be dealing with a narcissist. Chronic depletion.
Jesus can cure it and take it all away in a matter of minutes!Accept him and experience the miracle of healing!
@@anci2aa Thank you, yes, am learning about that and trying to have faith and trust in Him. I just became a Christian ten months ago and am new in my walk with Jesus. Thank you for your response and encouraging message to me.
I really appreciate the addition of clips from the movie Gaslight. It's a forgotten cinema gem!
My father was emtionally and occasionally physically abusive when I was a child/teenager, to me and to my mother.
I remember returning home once when I was 13 or something, and I went to the bathroom to wash my hands, and the bathtub was covered with blood drops.
I ran to my Mom, and I saw that she was hiding her nose with her hand and saying, "I'm fine, it's nothing... Oh, just a moment, I haven't cleaned the mess in the bathroom until you were back home, I'm so sorry."
And I was like, "Mom? Mom, has he punched you in the face? Mom, please divorce NOW, Mom, we cannot be like that anymore!"
I had that gut-wrenching feeling... I think that might be the first time I felt anhedonia and dissociation. I was so tired of this stuff.
My Mom has been always so strong mentally, she has been the one who provided for the family. Seeing her like that was a shock and a revelation.
Since then I went into the shut-down mode which lasted well into my 20s.
It was, like, the breaking point. I saw my Dad threatening and beating my Mom since I was 6. I remember the very first time; since then I couldn't sleep a whole night, ever. I am 36, and I never sleep more than 4 hours at a time. I wake up at 3 or 4 am, and I cannot sleep.
Long story short...
My Mom eventually divorced my Dad, after 25 years of marriage. You know, the worst part with narcissists is, you can really love them.
So, even though I think my Mom has always known that he'd never change, she decided to give birth to my brother, who is 16 years younger than me. My brother has Asperger's (he was diagnosed when there was still that separate diagnosis), and I have ADHD.
I kind of suspect that it makes things harder for both of us 😅
ADHD had been my savior during the hard times, with its doubly strong "always on high alert" thing; but, of course, it comes with a price.
I had been using its wonderful properties extensively my whole life without suspecting I had it, until the diagnosis at 32. My doctor had been observing me for years before suggesting it. Before that, I had been treated for panic attacks (of course), for anxiety and, eventually, for depression.
Enter methylphenidate.
Well, what can I tell you? I was sceptical.
But then I could meditate for the first time in my life, and I slept through the night. I swear by this medication. When there was a shortage, I jumped off 50 mg LA, and I barely felt anything except mild sleepiness for a few days. Tapering of humble citalopram 10 mg had been much harder, but this is just my experience.
So, as you can see, I failed to make a long story short...
After tapering off antidepressants, I was sooooo relieved to be able to cry again. Now, in no way I am saying that antidepressants are "bad." They are life-saving for many people.
It's just that almost always you need trial and error to find what suits you best, anf yes, they do help, but they don't solve the root cause, IMHO (although I know people who took the meds for a year or something, and that's it, their troubles went away).
Therapy does. Good therapy, not some "life coaches" with no proper education and skills or other snake-oil doctors.
I am currently uprooting relentlessly some very bad behaviors that I've learned in childhood, like being passive-aggressive, pushing away people whom you love and who love you, and yes - being emotionally abusive sometimes. This is the worst.
All the aggression and anger in me had always been targeted inwards, and recently this has changed.
I went into kick-boxing to deal with it, and it helps; but I still have this rubber band on my wrist for the times I hurt my partner without recognizing it. Then they remind me of it, and I train my brain to learn new ways of living - just as it had learned it for the very first time: through pain.
From the constant stress and my life being completely destroyed?
100% they drive you to chronic mental and physical illness. I hate my nex and parents for what they've done! All 3 selfish to their egotistical cores! You can't really and just breathe and be yourself. We have to protect ourselves and atop giving our best parts to them. They make you miserablem cracking up and back and forth with illness to a fro from the doctors.
I hate my narcissistic parents and sometimes my narcissistic husband who passed away a year ago. I stuck by all of them stupidly for life. The one good thing I did was to ditch my ugly mother in her final years and left her to my narcissistic sisters to take her 💩. Finally I got smart in my old age.
I've struggled with chronic fatigue and burnout all my life. My mother is BPD and a narcissist. I've spent a lot of time in therapy trying to untangle the issues she's given me. I never connected my health problems to my upbringing before though.
The quote ' Unexpressed emotions will never die, they buried alive and come back later in uglier ways' Was actually a quote from Sigmund Freud, but still love Gabor mate none the less
YESS....Hell...
OK so how do people get better? When they've been slandered how do they get better if they've asked for help from the police and other entities and they're rejected because they've been slandered and blacklisted. How do things get better?
Do you ever get over it? It's been 10 years. I still feel extremely tired all the time. No energy ever....
I have the same question! It’s been 8 years for me since I left but was married to him for 23 yrs. The last four years I was extremely sick with anxiety, depression & colon issues as my body completely broke down finally from all the stress. That all got better slowly, after getting away from the daily toxicity. But the fatigue remains!😓
I got so tired that I’m moving 18 hours away. 😮
Married 50 yrs & if I were any more tired, I would be dead
Sad facts I feel tired all the time. He helped destroy me taking care of my Grandbaby and my very own children. Ever since I get Involved with this person my mental and physical health has been in danger. All true they will make you miserable feeling like there isn't hope.
YES‼️I had no idea…
Sure cause you’re constantly under severe stress
Had a friend tell me i was being gaslit aaaannd told my partner in the midst of a fight and i felt bad for keeping it from him and now i cant speak to her.... how does one feel not so Guilty to leave this 10Y thing
Omg I so needed to heae this...his life was like an every day car crash, couldn'f figure out why I was so zapped of energy xxx
This can happen at a job! I retired early from a job (almost 29 years)
I agree, and got ME.
I live with a few narcissist and it's not fun or enjoyable it's extremely stressful and exhausting
Abuses me so I can’t sleep then accuses me of deliberately keep him awake for fun. 😕
Narcissists will say something disrespectful in hopes it'll bother you so much that you'll have insomnia. If you don't water that narcissistic seed and get a good night's rest, the narcissist will look homicidal the next day when you look well rested. Narcissists know exactly what they're doing to their targets.
I came as an ignorant immigrant and got abused by my narcissist mother in law. Trying my best to heal myself
I was told I don’t remember childhood/teen years properly.
Can you imagine if you could just ignore a person like this and not care about what they think or do? Imagine just packing up and leaving along with the peace that would come with that.
Family members ask me why I'm so tired. I've told them for years what the issue was -- them.
I had and gave still chronic fatigue syndrome & fibromyalgia. My gut won’t digest & my muscles refuse to relax