I have trouble speaking when having an episode, so I made little cards with short explanations about what's going on in my head that I show to my partner so he knows how to help me. Examples are, "I'm not ready to talk," "I need a cuddle," "There's too many people here"
OMG, that's brilliant. We have exactly the same trouble, especially during flashbacks and it's so incredibly hard to focus to just stammer out a single word to our wife... cards would eliminate that. Thank you, Brooke! /adds another item to the box
OMG! I have that same problem and sometimes my bf does too, I never thought about making cards.... we've been trying ASL phrases but its difficult to remember in the moment. Thank you for this idea!!
For when I forget to take my things with me I remember this saying: Find: 5 things you can touch 4 things you can see 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste
I use this so often for flashbacks. I tend to call it my 'asprin against flashbacks'. In case one of the trigger is in the form of one sense I skip that sense.
OMG this video saved my husband a trip to the hospital last night!!! He was having the worst panic attack I'd seen in the 15 years we've been together. None of the coping skills were working. Then I remembered cold. I put a super cold pack on the back of his neck and that helped enough to get things under control. Cannot thank you enough for that advice!!!!!!
This entire video was worth it just for this! Thank you so much for sharing! Wishing you and your husband all the very best on your recovery journey! 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖
I have a “HAPPY BAG” INSIDE: play dough Slime A glitter light up bounce ball A mini word search book A mini sketchbook Gel pens Rainbow slinky Essential oil- lavender lol (it is a very calming scent, I agree jess) Mints fruity suckers A pink lemonade drink powder stick...(sometimes I pour it right on my tongue. The sour makes me mouth water and gives a lot of sensation at once) Lotion with shae butter (I find the oils last longer) And some emergency pills (prescription)
I don't really have a grounding box, but this has gotten me thinking about making one for me and my husband! I go through Social Anxiety and my husband has anxiety and depression, for me what helped when I was going through my anxiety attacks was a Build a bear Bunny that my husband got for me, she has some clothing that has sequences on so that was something that I could feel as I hug her or run my hands over and also just the soft feel of her fur (especially on the ears)
I have a set of The power of love "Oracle cards" in mine that just have short sentences about love from the universe on them. The cards are super bright and colourful and shuffling through them and reading a few helps me. Also incense, crystals, my headphones and mp3 player full of isochronic tones for concentration/grounding and relaxation. I love the song Wish you were here by Bliss so il listen to that and it brings me calm happy feelings. I usually have a little bit of dark chocolate in there unless I've eaten it all and not replaced it haha its not my favourite chocolate but it's quite bitter so it helps me focus on the taste because it's not what I'd normally have. So many fab suggestions in the comments :-)
@kotokochan06, Thanks for sharing! I also have a Build a bear bunny and it helps with my anxiety. And, what are the odds!? Mine also has sequence clothing!
Neat!! Hey did you know some Build A Bear stuffed animals can even have the option of adding a scent to their foot/paw etc? It's supposed to last about a Month. I have a Pony that smelled like Cotton Candy!!
A lot of teachers have fidget gadgets or fidget box. I now want to have a grounding box with things like this that the students can grab anytime when I get a classroom. My friend owns an apothecary and makes her own essential oils so I have necklaces, diffusers, roll-on’s, and so much more. Great video with helpful things that a lot of us could use sometimes, especially with everything going on right now.
The only thing about oils is that you want to be incredibly careful with students. You don't know who would get set off by the oils, how they'd react, how it would react with a student's health in general. As someone with autism and ptsd, smells often don't help at all to ground me. If something is strong enough, it can actually make the situation worse.
I have to agree with Sean - both as a teacher and someone who is sensitive enough to a lot various stimuli, you have to be super careful about scents in particular, because you can't just put those away and now everything is good - the smells stays around. I also hate, literally wince and it's sometimes painful, to hear Jess's magnetic beads that she pulled out. But something like that is safe to put in a box - the moment you realize a child in your room as an adverse reaction to them (or that you do!), you can take them away and the stimulus is gone.
@@kristalynn221 totally agreed about scents. There's also possibility of allergies (I'm actually very allergic to lavender it not only gives me a raging headache and nausea it also sets off my asthma), and as you say, you can't it just put the smell back in a box and all is well again. So while a grounding box is a great idea in a classroom (or other group) setting, it's important to stay away from things that may have an unknown reaction, that can't easily be removed, and that also can taint the other contents of the box.
I tend to hum a scale, from the lowest I can go up to the highest. You can feel the hum moving from your chest up into your head. I try and find the note which sits right between my ears, and it helps me feel more present in my body and like I'm right behind my eyes instead of miles away
Same. I noticed I would always sing or hum when I got super anxious. I feel it's in the same field as humming while meditating. You feel the vibrations through your body and it can be very grounding and relaxing. Lol a little side note. Cats don't just pur when they're happy they also pur when they're anxious and in distress to cope. Interesting stuff.
One thing that helps me is chewing. I used to keep jerky in my car so that I could have something hard to chew if my anxiety levels went up. I don't know what it is but the repetition of tensing up my jaw and relaxing it really helps.
First of all: I LOVE the new theme song so much! 😍 Another brilliant, educational video. Now to share what's in my grounding/safety box (It's actually in the order I use it): 1) Toxic Waste candy (really sour) 2) Cedarwood oil to smell 3) A purple crystal I can touch and hold (extra special because it looks like a lightsaber crystal from Star Wars) 4) Stickers of my favorite tv show to look at 5) A short children's book called "When A Grown-up You Love Hurts You" by Beth Richey & Paula Wood (highly recommend, for little alters as well as adults) 6) Flash cards with uplifting texts/poems I found online, they're about self-worth, validating trauma/mental illness (An example: Take some time to take care of yourself, like cats do.) 7) A Search-And-Find Activity book called "Star Wars: Where's the Wookie?" (It's great to keep you entertained and focused for a while! I personally love Star Wars so it's even better) or a coloring book, I do either 8) Sanitizing hand-gel that smells like apples (I finish up with this to get a "fresh and clean" ending) I hope someone can take inspiration from this 💕
I used to hate grounding and fight my therapists and psychiatrists on it a lot. I didn’t understand how I could do it when I wasn’t present... and they didn’t understand what I meant by not being present. I now know what I meant... I was switching. Anyways I found it helpful to ground to MY part. Some grounding triggers other parts of me and so I have to be aware of what I like versus what my parts like so it grounds me and not triggers them. I think that was the piece I was missing when I’d have these battles with my therapists and psychiatrists prior. I also found that if I say my name out loud I’ll sometimes be able to ground that way. Grounding doesn’t always work for me though and sometimes the parts will fight through regardless and I’m learning to be more okay with that as the time goes on... it’s a struggle though. 💕
Yes! I’ve only been in therapy for two years and I feel stuck at not being able to ground. Even all of these lists are like “I don’t think any of this would work for me.” Meditation videos send me into an absolute panic. A lot of what I try that “should work” doesn’t for me. I’m having to be patient and let my inner world make itself heard.
Omg i know the feeling like petting my fox plushy my boyfriend got me specifically triggers me out making it worse, lavender usually triggers out a different alter who doesnt have role name but shes into self care and calms down the body when its stressed and she loves lavender and rose smells lol
When I was about 12 I had a soap that I smelt when I was panicked and I didn’t realise until much later that I was grounding myself, my best friend thought I was a little bonkers
If you're ever in Germany, you have to get ammola from the pharmacy as a tool. They're ammonia inhalants with lavender. It slaps you in the face with the ammonia when you activate it first and then sooths you with the lavender :D they're awesome
@@Lol1hi2 I did a quick search if they're available in the UK, but couldnt find anything. They're a staple in my emergency bag and we even got them from the hospital during outpatient care :) I really love them
I don't have DID but have quite severe GAD. (Incidentally, I also have to take those tablets when I'm having too many panic attacks). Rose or menthol smells help me calm down (olbas oil ftw). I also have a bobble/ hair tie that I often twiddle with when I'm either trying to concentrate or am feeling very anxious. I like lighting candles as well. The soft lighting can make me feel a lot safer and calmer. Love your videos and you guys are awesome! X
I have a box that I made out of ceramic back when I was in high school. I called it my memory box. The walls of the box are grayish black and have the image of a cell. The lid of the box droops and covers over the opening like a blob and is designed to look like a pancake. In the middle of the lid is a little snail painted green. Inside the box, I put in reminders and trinkets from times in my life they held a lot of pain and a lot of love. Items that I can not part with because of the good, but hurt to see because of the bad. So I locked them away in my memory box that is obscured by something silly like a pancake being guarded by a snail. I only open the box for introspection when I feel strong.
Oh wowwowow!! watching this has truly made me realise that literally all of my bad habits that come out when i get hypersensitive and overwhelmed are my body subconsciously trying to ground myself! When I get too anxious my brain kinda goes into overdrive and literally the only things that help (even though some of them are HORRIBLE coping mechanisms and i highly don't recommend) are: * blasting music through my headphones as loud as i can take it (blocks out the world/outside stimulus and allows me to slowly unwind) * biting/chewing on something (preferably very strong menthol gum that gets into my sinuses but usually my fingers or the palm of my hand near my thumb end up the helpless victims of my teeth) * twirling my hair around my fingers * shaking out my arms/hands in a sort of spasm-y way (usually gets rid of the "too much energy inside my body must GET IT OUT" feeling) I never would have realised these were attempts to ground before!! I think im definitely going to make a grounding box to keep in my locker at school!! :)
Love the vid! I don't have DID, but I do have CPTSD and my panic attacks are getting worse with the pandemic. Putting scented lotion in my bag is a great tip for when I have to leave the house!!! For all those who have a bad memory or trigger around the lavender smell like myself, I recommend using eucalyptus scents instead, possibly combined with sage or pine. I find that smell works great for calming me down and grounding, similarly to how lavender works for others.
My grounding technique is my dog. I've trainined her in grounding training, so she lies on my legs or chest, and licks my hands and face on command. She is a service dog as she does this when I have a seizure-like attack (NEAD), and it brings me out of an attack and regain my full consciousness much quicker. I also find ice packs or drinking really cold drinks or sucking on ice :)
I have something similar I call them "shakes" and sometimes have Seizer like episodes. I've considered getting a dog for this exact purpose but have often felt like I would be taking a dog from someone who needed them more. Where did you get your dog and/or did you train them yourself? I've also considered having one trained to cushion my head when I fall to help prevent injury and whiplash tho, I worry I'd hurt a dog with how volent it gets sometimes. Any suggestions?
@@audreygilmore7408 hey, sorry to hear you suffer too :( I'm an animal behaviourist and dog trainer so I have trained her myself. She's only 9 months old so still got a way to go but she picked it up so quickly. I didn't get her to be a service dog but she started doing the behaviours naturally so I just put commands to it and up her reliability. I live in Shetland so not any support up here for service dog, so I'm not sure what there is but you can ask 'assistance dogs UK' for help. You'll probably have to get an official diagnosis, for me it took around 6 months to get. I have seen dogs that can predict a seizure and larger breeds that support the head/neck so it is possible :)
my cat does help me too ❤ idk why but whenever im having a bad episode or am getting into one, he looks me in the eyes, sniffs my face and sits on my chest (feels like a hug). it helps me so much! sometimes it makes me cry it out and relax or just relax.. hes helped me through a lot. my dogs used to do the same too and even my neighbours' cat
I didnt know that cold was something that actually helped people with stuff like this i always wash my hands under cold water when im feeling overwhelmed or dissociated and it helps me a lot
Sooo I don't have a "box" because I guess I never really thought anxiety was deserving of one so I just tend to struggle through my anxiety attacks every time. It's so exhausting, it happens most days that I go full blown anxiety attack and it's far from fun. My heart goes out to you for coping with anxiety attacks, it shows how strong and brave you are. Much love, Alana xoxo
You always deserve help, and you always deserve to feel better. If you find yourself struggling to make a box, maybe start with finding/ naming some small things that help you ground and cope, or just feel better/ less shitty. Start with even just one. Stick it in your pants pocket, or in your bag, or somewhere in your house that you pass and use often. Best of luck
wow, i never thought of having a box! i definitely have to make one now with a ton of lavender (i too am obsessed with lavender). last summer i finally figured out how to ground- none of the techniques my therapist taught me ever helped, even through 5 years. i figured out why- when i start panicking, i go numb and lose a lot of my senses, especially touch. The only place still active is my mouth. i was out in public and starting to panic, everything was too loud and busy, but i had a lemonade with me. and i was drinking and grounding and the panicking stopped! my mouth was the only area where my senses were working, so it also made the senses a lot stronger. cold of the ice cubes, the feel of the liquid rushing in my mouth, the sourness is super strong, but then there's the nuance of the complex flavour- sweet notes, too. i was at a restaurant with another panic attack, and i ate curry and it grounded me- the layers of spices and flavouring, tons of unique tastes, focusing on the cumin, the cardamon, the curry, and also temperature heat. the more complex and the more textures or tastes there are, the more grounding. so if anyone else is struggling with typical grounding techniques, i suggest trying something to do with your mouth- mints, gum, chewy stim toys with different textured surfaces. really helpful!
We are renovating, and it’s terrible for me, so a couple of weeks ago I just claimed my daughters bedroom 😅 It was not ready yet, only been painted white, but I put a single bed in it, put fresh sheets on them, a squishy toy that smells amazing..and my notebook and handcreme (also with lavender :)) in the bedside table. It’s a small room so it’s done cleaning in like 15minutes. It’s a grounding room instead of a box 😄 I’m not able to work anymore and I don’t go out much so that’s what I use..I do find the crystal interesting in case of self harm urges..might go out and get one. Thanks for sharing, much love from Belgium. 💕
If you pull those magnets apart with your fingers on one hand and then throw them up in the air, they'll attach again but make a really cool buzzing noise. I love those things
My therapist recommended one of these a decade ago and have used it ever since! Sour gummy candies and ice packs tend to help me the best ♡ Glad it helps you all; I know it helps me ♡
I keep a pair of quarters in my coat pocket, and it's really helpful going out and about. I can just put my hand in my pocket and roll the quarters around my fingers. I also have several squares of crochet/knit yarn that have heavy texture just for something to run my hands over. My absolute favorite if I'm really struggling is to run my hands over the cement floor in our basement. For some reason, the gritty texture is incredibly calming, plus it's cool to the touch. :) Thanks for all the ideas, Jess! Love from Minnesota.
I personally own a lot of fidget toys, be it a spinner, a cube, something called a fidget pad, just something to keep my hands occupied. I'm autistic and suffer from bad anxieties lately, as well as big issues with spacing out and losing connection to the real world from time to time. I tend to only need them when I'm outside while having a bad day, because that causes me to get stressed and panicky from time to time, so my box is actually my bagpack. So, what's in my bag (aside from the obvious things like my purse and stuff)? - pencils and my sketchbook; as an artist, drawing helps me calm down, so I try to always have my drawing equipment with me so I can scribble whenever I want - one or more fidget toys; self-explainatory, I mostly have my fidget pad with me since that one is my favorite at the moment, they just help me calm down when I'm getting stressed out in a store for example - a little plushy with very fuzzy fur; I love plushies, they remind me of happy days and set my mind back to a state of a kid, which can be a bit problematic so I only use those around people I trust - hand sanitizer gel; I don't use it too often, but I don't like the smell of desinfection stuff and since the virus makes every customer use them before they enter the store, I just put my nicely smelling gel on my hands after That's mostly it, sometimes I put in some snacks too, because I like snacking when I get stressed. I hope that if someone reads this, it may help them or give them new ideas
i recently bought some wax melts and a burner. im finding it quite relaxing as a lot of handmade melts have glitter or pearl pigment in. I can watch the wax shape melt, smell the fragrance, see the glitter swirling, feel the warmth and just focus on those! A company called Bubbas Meltys also does awareness melts so each of her melts are for a specific physical or mental health issue and some of them also have a portion to charity. i aso have some little squishie silicon shaped animals and a banana filled with sand to fidget with.
In our bag we have: six little bottles of essential oils, three small plushies, a pen and pad with little affirmations, slime specifically for our littles, and a küsh ball. We use a make up bag with a fluffy keychain so it's portable. You never know when an anxiety attack or any other situation is going to hit, so having them nearby at all times is handy. My therapist has also suggested fidget toys for it, but I wear a fidget bracelet (a zipper) at all times. It's certainly come in handy since we made it.
My therapist recommended something with a very strong taste to ground me when I feel a panic attack coming on. I'm allergic to mint, so I have cinnamon jolly ranchers instead. I carried the bag around in my purse and just popped one if I felt something wrong. It really works!! Other recommendations he made were hot sauce, salt or pepper, cinnamon, cayenne pepper; there's so many things that will work.
Smells are good too. Our therapist has shoved rosemary under our nose more than once during a session... of course, we're starting to hate the smell of rosemary, but it works! 🙂
My husband has depersonalization disorder and other grounding techniques he's tried haven't seemed to help. They are just ones that he's found and learned himself as he's still on the NHS waiting list for a clinical psychologist. So, I'm keen to show him this and make one with him if he's up for it! Thanks for showing yours and teaching us about grounding boxes :)
dude I've recently been trying to figure out mindfulness and every time I try it feels really weird and uncomfortable, you talking about how it can feel like dissociation at first but is intended to be the opposite explains SO MUCH! that's why I've hated it so much and given up on it 😭 don't mind me just gonna have a breakthrough during therapy this week lmao
We used grounding boxes alot in my work with veterans with PTSD our sense of smell is our strongest sense to bring people out of flashbacks etc and is something to easily hide from others, which veterans often want to do
I have anxiety and depression, and I've kept grounding tools around even before knowing what it was, or being diagnosed: I keep play-doh in my bag, work desk drawer, and bedroom. I sometimes carry soap bubbles. Kinetic sand also helps. ASMR videos or apps. Breathing techniques. Valerian tea. Journaling.
Elastic band on my wrist to fiddle with or snap against my skin if I really need, and crochet gives me something to concentrate on and fiddle with, but also an excuse to avoid eye contact.
I don't have a box per se, but the system really enjoys the touch sensation for grounding. We wear beaded bracelets that rattle and carry crystals in a pouch that we can hold on to.
That's so cool, we tried something of that sort with our therapy journal. It's full of cats made out of fur, sequence, glitter and rice. So far it has proven invaluable during sessions
I have a little bag I keep in my purse with mints, gum, hand cream, lip balm (I really like the menthol one, but I'm all out rn) ear plugs and hand sanitizer. I usually carry a little plushies in my pocket or bag too.
When I'm at home I always have my blanket with me, it's super soft and the second my mind starts to drift I can just reach to my side and cuddle it. I also do this thing where I inhale and exhale as a whistle; I started doing this as a child cause my asthma was awful and didn't really understand it. When I could hear my breath I could focus more on it, I also forget to breathe sometimes so it comes in handy when that happens. Other than that incense and cold things are where it is at for me!
I love this! ❤️ I have GAD, and a lot of my anxiety does happen in social situations, so I try to use the more subtle grounding techniques. I do have a rose/murumuru butter cream that I love, but unfortunately bothers my mom because of her allergies so I have to be careful with that one. I use a technique my therapist taught me of touching the tip/pad of my thumb to the tips/pads of each finger one at a time (start at pinky & go to pointer) firmly (but not too hard) & say a 4- word phrase (I use Peace Begins with Me) over and over until I calm down (and a bit after) because it actually sends a signal to your brain to calm down. I also have a ring that I bought because I wanted a pretty silver ring, that incidentally has a part that just spins (it is only a band)! I tend to spin that a lot when I get anxious, the repetitive motion helps me calm down (and it has some texture). And of course, the classic deep breathing helps too (always breathe out longer than you breathe in to activate the vagus nerve to calm down)! Thanks for sharing Jess!
Oh, and something else I thought of that I don't do, but heard on Kati Morton's channel (she's a therapist with an educational channel) is clapping your hands together really hard. Apparently after you clap your hands, you feel the tingle of the clap travel up your hands/arms and try to focus on where it goes and when it stops.
I have a different mental illness that causes dissociation and derealization and I have a safety box. Best thing ever. Helpful for grounding or for when I'm in a full blown crisis.
I really suggest therapy dough! You can find it on amazon. It is scented, very soft, and very smooth. It is not like any other putty or play-do. I highly suggest it
My therapist recommended glitter jars a while ago, they were really wonderful! These boxes are so great, I absolutely love the shape of yours! Hope you’re all doing well x
I keep a beanie baby cat in my grounding box because it's tactile and you can hear the beans giggling around. I also have a full plastic big box I call my happy box because it has nice cards people gave to me and just a lot of nice things.
I have a 'crisis box' mostly to stop me from self-harming but these are great add-ups to it, coz I don't have enough tools to fight dissociation. I also have numbers of my close friends, hotlines, and chats, and I added some positive reminders written on pieces of paper and nice little things that I accidentally find while digging the box, and they always cheer me up a little
I never thought about mints when i am doing my breathing techniques for my anxiety. edit: Thanks for doing this Jess, I am going to try this cause i deal with anxiety. Really appreciate this
I adore grounding kits! When I made mine it was during group therapy and they were taught to us as self soothe kits! I don't have a box but mine is in a little plush/squishy bag that I can clip to my purse or hold around my wrist. It's super squishy and soft which is great! And inside I have: -beaded bracelets that are all different kinds and shapes and sizes of beads. I use these tactically also I love to count them! -vanilla lipbalm. I chew on my lips if I'm struggling so this soothes that and mine is really strong smelling which helps a lot. -hard candies. -a puzzle cube of some sort to mindfully distract. -and of course my emergency meds! This is one of the best videos I've seen explaining this and I can't wait to share it with others!
This just taught me what the vagus nerve is (even though I've always used it)! I have really bad circulation and my hands are pretty much always freezing and the first thing I do when I dissociate is touch my neck to cool down and destress.
I don’t have a box, but I like jokes whether it is someone telling me them or my phone. The smell of coconut or anything tropical fruity helps with my anxiety or panic attacks. I also do diamond art or paint by numbers for me to focus on something.
I've always been really reluctant to try meditation and mindfulness because it's something that I really associate with my mother, who is/was very abus*ve towards me, but this video has really given me another perspective on what meditation and mindfulness can be. Its sometimes hard to remember that just because my abu**r does something it doesn't mean that I can't reclaim its meaning and purpose for myself.
I recently had a panic attack... I’ve had many before but this past one has been, for me, the worst of them... I could feel my throat closing up, my body was calm but my mind wasn’t, felt suffocating. The only thing that helped me calm down was my plushie and also having a mint. Those are always in my bag, I’m glad Im not the only one. I never before thought about your idea of creating a Safety Box sort of say. Thank you for this!
Watching that video of you being relaxed made me feel relaxed. Anxiety and depression, I don't have a box but I do have bits and pieces around the house. I'm not a huge fan of lavender, but I do have a stress relief moisturiser that has lavender, chamomile and ylang-ylang in it. Scents are great for me, so I usually gravitate towards scented slimes and playdoughs. I really should make some home-made playdough and add some essential oils to it. I've recently gotten a weighted blanket, on sale of course, and that has been helping. Especially when restrictions mean I miss being touched, the weight around my shoulders feels like a hug. Stress eating is a habit I'm trying to break, but crunchy foods like potato chips can help. Hot chips or cold iceblocks/ice creams are things I associate with positive memories, and also help soothe my throat when the stress makes my throat sore from recurring tonsillitis/worse (had glandular fever once, get tonsillitis/sinusitis/bronchitis now when I let myself get tired and stressed and run down). I've got some fidget spinners and fidget cubes around from when I had a multicategorical support class and wanted things to help them fidget quietly (mental health, ADHD, ASD and other diagnoses). We made beautiful calm down jars with coloured water, glitter and glitter glue, so I might try making another one soon. You can shake the shit out of it when you're angry/stressed, then release and calm as you watch the glitter swirl and float to the bottom of the jar (long skinny clear water bottles are the best option).
This is such a good idea. I love tins the noise of them helps ground me and calm any littles. I should make a grounding box! Thank you for the idea! Usually to help ground me if im panicked or dissociating i start to look for specific colors or rub my hands on surfaces or my cloths to feel something. And someone in our system ALWAYS remind me or whoever is panicked that we are safe. So even if we are panicked we're at least aware that we're in a safe place to panic and calm down. Thank you so much Jess!
Yes! The best grounding video I’ve watched! The only person who’s recommended ice/cold! Tbh, when I’m about to have a panic attack, cold water saves me. Cold water on my hands, arms, face, back of my neck... even eating ice 👍👍 great vid, thanks 🥰
Jess - thank you SO much for this! I’ve been in therapy for 22 years and have been working with a trauma therapist for the last year. So much has been resurfacing as I shelter in place, body memories, flashbacks, and night terrors are an every day thing. I do have a rich toolkit and a lot of emotional intelligence, but I’ve been struggling to help everyone feel safe in the grounding and container creation process. I also have an 11 year old nephew who I co-parent from the same family system of trauma (my brother has BPD, struggles with addiction and denies a need for treatment). With my help, my nephew has lived with his mother for the last 5 years and I am helping guide him in learning about his emotions. We are very close. I think that not only is this a great project to center all of me in times of need, but that it will be an invaluable resource to my nephew who is seeking out his own place and value in this wild and beautiful, world we live in. Bless you all, you have given me hope and brightened my day. ✌🏽🌈♥️⭐️
I won’t get into all of my toolkit, but my most recent additions have been very helpful: I have a salt rock lamp on a dimmer that is calming. I get migraines and the warm light helps me feel at ease, closer to nature, and safe. I recently purchased a heat therapy toy/plush at snuggables.net. It’s made in Canada (they have US affiliates, not sure about UK/Elsewhere). Snuggables are hypoallergenic, fragrance free and have a fabric bag filled with rice that you can microwave. Having warmth on my stomach in times of activation really helps. I can also add essential oils to it as well to help with dissociation. 🐾✨ For crafty folks/those on a budget, here is a tutorial on making your own heatable plush: www.thirdstopontheright.com/easy-tutorial-making-stuffed-animal-microwavable-heating-pad/
This is beautiful! You’re doing a wonderful job 💖 thank you for offering support and opening your heart to others! That’s certainly not easy when you’re going through so much. Please keep us updated 🌸
Mint sounds super helpful with deep breathing~ When we're at work, we do deep breathing in little bursts when we can (in the nose, out the mouth, we sometimes like to puff our cheeks up and make our lips super tight, exhaling out of as small an opening as possible, the push relieves stress and anxiety). If at home, we use lots of plushies, mostly teddy bears, anything fluffy/furry to hug on. We have 3 dogs, and we've been known to bury our face in their fur sometimes.
Even though I don't have DID, I still experience depression and sometimes panic attacks so I try to distract myself by listening to music or painting with watercolor to try and relax myself and even improve my skills.
I've never thought about making a grounding box. This is an amazing idea and I can't wait to get started on one of my own. I also need to get my hands on some of that mohdoh.
I don't have a box, but I'm definitely making one now! It's such a wonderful idea ❤️ To ground myself, I usually go for pressing my fingers on my legs one at the time and counting in my head (it's very discreet so I feel safe doing it in public), putting ice cubes in my mouth (the added benefit here is hydration, which is nice), fidget toys and this thing I learned from Tumblr where you look for stuff around you that could stimulate each of your senses, bc that forces you to focus on your whereabouts and that helps so much (I talked about it to my therapist and he approves). It's always nice to learn and test new techniques, it feels like I'm adding more stuff to my arsenal and taking another step to feel more in control of my life. Thanks for sharing with us ❤️❤️
I don’t have DID but I do suffer from anxiety and panic attacks....and this video has inspired me to get a grounding box!! Thank you so much for this video!! It was so comforting and right on time!!
My S/O both suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., and this box is such a good idea for grounding! I'll be putting one together for us as soon as I can; thank you for the inspiration! ☺️
We did a whole class (3 hours every week for 9 weeks) on mindfulness with a group and it helped sO MUCH with our dissociation. We still use those techniques more than a year later
I’ve always just sort of kept grounding tools in the bottom of my backpack (a stuffed animal, a fidget, and a Rubik’s Cube usually lol) but now I’m really considering making a proper box! Thanks for this video!!
I don't have DID but I do struggle with flashbacks and anxiety a lot. I never thought of doing this-- normally I just plug in my earbuds and try and forcefully ground myself with the noise. It's useful I guess but not always sensible. But a grounding box would actually be so much more helpful. Thank you!
I love your box, the shape is so enticing as a tactile stimulus 😍 I find leaving the area I am in when starting to have a panic/anxiety attack really helps. It is my first go to as a grounding method, I take myself out of the environment that I'm feeling overwhelmed in and find somewhere I can continue to ground myself that feels safe such as outside or in the bathroom ❤ obviously this doesn't always work as those feeling can over take you very fast and even out of the blue, but it is a little way that helps me feel I still have control ~ much love to your system 💕
I dont really have a box, but i have a list of things i can do if im dissociating or overwhelmed by emotion (too bad its kind of hit or miss with them actually helping but ok) My main ones for dissociating are: uno (or really any fast paced game that gets my competitive side going), pushing a wall (the tension in my muscles can help ground me, even better if it has texture), drinking a warm/hot drink, and listening to music
The tangle... we use to have those when we were younger. Actually more specifically Ace use to play with those when we were younger. I messed with them a bit as well but it was mostly Ace. We might actually still have them but I can't remember where they are. I haven't seen or thought about those things since I was a child. I got 4 for 25 cents from one of those machines in the front of a grocery store and the next thing I know there's a bunch of them I didn't even know I had all over my room I don't know where the others came from, and they kind of just disappeared after that.
Well being honest, I don't have did but when I was a kid, I had some major traumatic experiences. That continued until I was 19 years old. I have anxiety and panic attacks since then. On top of that comes my bipolar disorder. I never knew about grounding until I found out myself what helps me to ground. Lavender and roses are the two smells that calm me down. Found that out when I started to rubb lavender oil all around my arms and hands. But your little box contains so many very useful things that might help me as well. For the first time in years I have a steady job (besides covid... Major trigger to stay at home all alone) and if I feel a panic attack coming I sometimes.. Like.. Knock out? I know where I am, I know what I'm doing but it's like I look down on me. And because I cannot do this at work, I started to bring my lavender oil with me.
Firstly thank you for making this, I definitely needed to be reminded of this and I am going to put all of my things in a box instead of having to search for them while panicking!! I have a tangle toy, small and large slow rising squishy toys, for me I’m allergic to chemical (artificial) fragrance but essential oils without artificial fragrance work perfectly, a lavender essential oil stick, ginger chewables or hard candy, cold water to drink, slime or putty, soft blankets, and more. Also pets can help as funny as it sounds if I feel my dog’s fur and then the rough parts of her paws or she licks me or her cold wet nose touches me I am able to ground myself and feel her comfort!! I’m definitely going to have to get some of the things you have in this video!! Thank you again, this video made me really happy to see!!
I'm going to make a Grounding box to keep with me when I go back to working with students at school. As a Paraprofessional this will be great to have 💜
I’ve never had a grounding box, more just things around the house that I know help me and calm me. The things I especially find helpful I actually will carry with me, most especially in my University bag becuase that’s when I struggle the most. So things like lotion, essential oil roller, lip balm, mints, etc. small things that no one would think twice about actually help me the most! But after watching this, I think I’m going to put together my own box for the times I’m at home so that I don’t need to try and find the things that help, rather having them all in one spot to turn to! I love you guys so much!!
I have one of those little cushions/grain filled bags you can heat up in the microwave and use it as a stimming toy. I just love the feeling of the grain between my fingers. And I also love the smell of lavender. It really helps me to calm down.
I, personally, carry a satchel with me wherever I go. Oftentimes people think it's just a purse so no one really questions it. And it does provide me a sense of safety in times when I feel panicked and out of control. I'm glad you talked about this :)
A grounding technique I use alot is going through a list of as many animals I can remember and if I'm having a freak out and can't calm down, I make myself focus on trying connect animals through association (like starting off with one animal and the first animal that comes to mind and then so on) Its more of a calming technique to distract my brain from panicking/freaking out
"So, what have we learned?" .... mostly that Jess and Ed really bloody love lavender 😂
Can't blame them. It's an awesome smell.
I am really sad because I hate that fucking smell but I also find it grounding so I don't get to use it's effects
I have trouble speaking when having an episode, so I made little cards with short explanations about what's going on in my head that I show to my partner so he knows how to help me. Examples are, "I'm not ready to talk," "I need a cuddle," "There's too many people here"
OMG, that's brilliant. We have exactly the same trouble, especially during flashbacks and it's so incredibly hard to focus to just stammer out a single word to our wife... cards would eliminate that. Thank you, Brooke! /adds another item to the box
@@TheInfinitySystem I'm so happy I could help! Stay well!
That's so cute!
That is a brillant idea 💙
OMG! I have that same problem and sometimes my bf does too, I never thought about making cards.... we've been trying ASL phrases but its difficult to remember in the moment. Thank you for this idea!!
For when I forget to take my things with me I remember this saying:
Find:
5 things you can touch
4 things you can see
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
This is one of my absolute favorite techniques, it’s super helpful for me with anxiety
I use this so often for flashbacks. I tend to call it my 'asprin against flashbacks'. In case one of the trigger is in the form of one sense I skip that sense.
This really helps! We use it all the time
OMG this video saved my husband a trip to the hospital last night!!! He was having the worst panic attack I'd seen in the 15 years we've been together. None of the coping skills were working. Then I remembered cold. I put a super cold pack on the back of his neck and that helped enough to get things under control. Cannot thank you enough for that advice!!!!!!
This entire video was worth it just for this! Thank you so much for sharing! Wishing you and your husband all the very best on your recovery journey! 🙏🙏🙏💖💖💖
For me Icepacks helps even better on the chest. It kind off center and calm me.
“I did buy the easter egg on sale... and for me, but that’s besides the point!” that is a MOOD!
Meeeee
Hearing Jess say “ Hi puzzles and pieces! “ was one of the loveliest things to hear on a cold morning 💕
Omg the smell
*I sniff my phone* wait, that's, no...
MOOODDD
I have a “HAPPY BAG”
INSIDE:
play dough
Slime
A glitter light up bounce ball
A mini word search book
A mini sketchbook
Gel pens
Rainbow slinky
Essential oil- lavender lol (it is a very calming scent, I agree jess)
Mints
fruity suckers
A pink lemonade drink powder stick...(sometimes I pour it right on my tongue. The sour makes me mouth water and gives a lot of sensation at once)
Lotion with shae butter (I find the oils last longer)
And some emergency pills (prescription)
I don't really have a grounding box, but this has gotten me thinking about making one for me and my husband! I go through Social Anxiety and my husband has anxiety and depression, for me what helped when I was going through my anxiety attacks was a Build a bear Bunny that my husband got for me, she has some clothing that has sequences on so that was something that I could feel as I hug her or run my hands over and also just the soft feel of her fur (especially on the ears)
I have a set of The power of love "Oracle cards" in mine that just have short sentences about love from the universe on them. The cards are super bright and colourful and shuffling through them and reading a few helps me.
Also incense, crystals, my headphones and mp3 player full of isochronic tones for concentration/grounding and relaxation. I love the song Wish you were here by Bliss so il listen to that and it brings me calm happy feelings.
I usually have a little bit of dark chocolate in there unless I've eaten it all and not replaced it haha its not my favourite chocolate but it's quite bitter so it helps me focus on the taste because it's not what I'd normally have.
So many fab suggestions in the comments :-)
@kotokochan06, Thanks for sharing! I also have a Build a bear bunny and it helps with my anxiety. And, what are the odds!? Mine also has sequence clothing!
Neat!! Hey did you know some Build A Bear stuffed animals can even have the option of adding a scent to their foot/paw etc? It's supposed to last about a Month.
I have a Pony that smelled like Cotton Candy!!
A lot of teachers have fidget gadgets or fidget box. I now want to have a grounding box with things like this that the students can grab anytime when I get a classroom. My friend owns an apothecary and makes her own essential oils so I have necklaces, diffusers, roll-on’s, and so much more. Great video with helpful things that a lot of us could use sometimes, especially with everything going on right now.
I plan on making one of these too for when I go back to the classroom in the fall.
The only thing about oils is that you want to be incredibly careful with students. You don't know who would get set off by the oils, how they'd react, how it would react with a student's health in general. As someone with autism and ptsd, smells often don't help at all to ground me. If something is strong enough, it can actually make the situation worse.
I have to agree with Sean - both as a teacher and someone who is sensitive enough to a lot various stimuli, you have to be super careful about scents in particular, because you can't just put those away and now everything is good - the smells stays around. I also hate, literally wince and it's sometimes painful, to hear Jess's magnetic beads that she pulled out. But something like that is safe to put in a box - the moment you realize a child in your room as an adverse reaction to them (or that you do!), you can take them away and the stimulus is gone.
@@kristalynn221 totally agreed about scents. There's also possibility of allergies (I'm actually very allergic to lavender it not only gives me a raging headache and nausea it also sets off my asthma), and as you say, you can't it just put the smell back in a box and all is well again. So while a grounding box is a great idea in a classroom (or other group) setting, it's important to stay away from things that may have an unknown reaction, that can't easily be removed, and that also can taint the other contents of the box.
I tend to hum a scale, from the lowest I can go up to the highest. You can feel the hum moving from your chest up into your head. I try and find the note which sits right between my ears, and it helps me feel more present in my body and like I'm right behind my eyes instead of miles away
Oh my gosh I LOVE this idea!!!
Fuck I just tried it its gorgeous
U made my day and my life easier
Same. I noticed I would always sing or hum when I got super anxious. I feel it's in the same field as humming while meditating. You feel the vibrations through your body and it can be very grounding and relaxing. Lol a little side note. Cats don't just pur when they're happy they also pur when they're anxious and in distress to cope. Interesting stuff.
One thing that helps me is chewing. I used to keep jerky in my car so that I could have something hard to chew if my anxiety levels went up. I don't know what it is but the repetition of tensing up my jaw and relaxing it really helps.
First of all: I LOVE the new theme song so much! 😍 Another brilliant, educational video.
Now to share what's in my grounding/safety box (It's actually in the order I use it):
1) Toxic Waste candy (really sour)
2) Cedarwood oil to smell
3) A purple crystal I can touch and hold (extra special because it looks like a lightsaber crystal from Star Wars)
4) Stickers of my favorite tv show to look at
5) A short children's book called "When A Grown-up You Love Hurts You" by Beth Richey & Paula Wood (highly recommend, for little alters as well as adults)
6) Flash cards with uplifting texts/poems I found online, they're about self-worth, validating trauma/mental illness (An example: Take some time to take care of yourself, like cats do.)
7) A Search-And-Find Activity book called "Star Wars: Where's the Wookie?" (It's great to keep you entertained and focused for a while! I personally love Star Wars so it's even better) or a coloring book, I do either
8) Sanitizing hand-gel that smells like apples (I finish up with this to get a "fresh and clean" ending)
I hope someone can take inspiration from this 💕
...I'm dying to know what is toxic waste candy 😂
Sarah Riedel Haha it's American candy that's made to look like it's toxic waste in a barrel 😂 You can type it into google pictures! It's very sour :)
I love this!
I used to hate grounding and fight my therapists and psychiatrists on it a lot. I didn’t understand how I could do it when I wasn’t present... and they didn’t understand what I meant by not being present. I now know what I meant... I was switching. Anyways I found it helpful to ground to MY part. Some grounding triggers other parts of me and so I have to be aware of what I like versus what my parts like so it grounds me and not triggers them. I think that was the piece I was missing when I’d have these battles with my therapists and psychiatrists prior. I also found that if I say my name out loud I’ll sometimes be able to ground that way. Grounding doesn’t always work for me though and sometimes the parts will fight through regardless and I’m learning to be more okay with that as the time goes on... it’s a struggle though. 💕
Yes! I’ve only been in therapy for two years and I feel stuck at not being able to ground. Even all of these lists are like “I don’t think any of this would work for me.” Meditation videos send me into an absolute panic. A lot of what I try that “should work” doesn’t for me. I’m having to be patient and let my inner world make itself heard.
Omg i know the feeling like petting my fox plushy my boyfriend got me specifically triggers me out making it worse, lavender usually triggers out a different alter who doesnt have role name but shes into self care and calms down the body when its stressed and she loves lavender and rose smells lol
When I was about 12 I had a soap that I smelt when I was panicked and I didn’t realise until much later that I was grounding myself, my best friend thought I was a little bonkers
“a sneaky whiff” things I did not expect to hear today
If you're ever in Germany, you have to get ammola from the pharmacy as a tool. They're ammonia inhalants with lavender. It slaps you in the face with the ammonia when you activate it first and then sooths you with the lavender :D they're awesome
Maybe you can buy them online, if you want to. I know many people, who realy like them.
@@Lol1hi2 I did a quick search if they're available in the UK, but couldnt find anything. They're a staple in my emergency bag and we even got them from the hospital during outpatient care :) I really love them
that sounds absolutely amazing! super grounding
My dad has been having anxiety attacks recently. I'll try making a box with him! Thank you for the tip :)
Wishing you both all the best of luck! 🌸
I don't have DID but have quite severe GAD. (Incidentally, I also have to take those tablets when I'm having too many panic attacks). Rose or menthol smells help me calm down (olbas oil ftw). I also have a bobble/ hair tie that I often twiddle with when I'm either trying to concentrate or am feeling very anxious.
I like lighting candles as well. The soft lighting can make me feel a lot safer and calmer.
Love your videos and you guys are awesome! X
I have a box that I made out of ceramic back when I was in high school. I called it my memory box. The walls of the box are grayish black and have the image of a cell. The lid of the box droops and covers over the opening like a blob and is designed to look like a pancake. In the middle of the lid is a little snail painted green. Inside the box, I put in reminders and trinkets from times in my life they held a lot of pain and a lot of love. Items that I can not part with because of the good, but hurt to see because of the bad. So I locked them away in my memory box that is obscured by something silly like a pancake being guarded by a snail. I only open the box for introspection when I feel strong.
Oh wowwowow!! watching this has truly made me realise that literally all of my bad habits that come out when i get hypersensitive and overwhelmed are my body subconsciously trying to ground myself! When I get too anxious my brain kinda goes into overdrive and literally the only things that help (even though some of them are HORRIBLE coping mechanisms and i highly don't recommend) are:
* blasting music through my headphones as loud as i can take it (blocks out the world/outside stimulus and allows me to slowly unwind)
* biting/chewing on something (preferably very strong menthol gum that gets into my sinuses but usually my fingers or the palm of my hand near my thumb end up the helpless victims of my teeth)
* twirling my hair around my fingers
* shaking out my arms/hands in a sort of spasm-y way (usually gets rid of the "too much energy inside my body must GET IT OUT" feeling)
I never would have realised these were attempts to ground before!! I think im definitely going to make a grounding box to keep in my locker at school!! :)
Love the vid! I don't have DID, but I do have CPTSD and my panic attacks are getting worse with the pandemic. Putting scented lotion in my bag is a great tip for when I have to leave the house!!! For all those who have a bad memory or trigger around the lavender smell like myself, I recommend using eucalyptus scents instead, possibly combined with sage or pine. I find that smell works great for calming me down and grounding, similarly to how lavender works for others.
My grounding technique is my dog. I've trainined her in grounding training, so she lies on my legs or chest, and licks my hands and face on command. She is a service dog as she does this when I have a seizure-like attack (NEAD), and it brings me out of an attack and regain my full consciousness much quicker. I also find ice packs or drinking really cold drinks or sucking on ice :)
I have something similar I call them "shakes" and sometimes have Seizer like episodes. I've considered getting a dog for this exact purpose but have often felt like I would be taking a dog from someone who needed them more. Where did you get your dog and/or did you train them yourself? I've also considered having one trained to cushion my head when I fall to help prevent injury and whiplash tho, I worry I'd hurt a dog with how volent it gets sometimes. Any suggestions?
@@audreygilmore7408 hey, sorry to hear you suffer too :( I'm an animal behaviourist and dog trainer so I have trained her myself. She's only 9 months old so still got a way to go but she picked it up so quickly. I didn't get her to be a service dog but she started doing the behaviours naturally so I just put commands to it and up her reliability. I live in Shetland so not any support up here for service dog, so I'm not sure what there is but you can ask 'assistance dogs UK' for help. You'll probably have to get an official diagnosis, for me it took around 6 months to get.
I have seen dogs that can predict a seizure and larger breeds that support the head/neck so it is possible :)
@@AliceSylph thank you, ☺️
my cat does help me too ❤ idk why but whenever im having a bad episode or am getting into one, he looks me in the eyes, sniffs my face and sits on my chest (feels like a hug). it helps me so much! sometimes it makes me cry it out and relax or just relax.. hes helped me through a lot. my dogs used to do the same too and even my neighbours' cat
I didnt know that cold was something that actually helped people with stuff like this i always wash my hands under cold water when im feeling overwhelmed or dissociated and it helps me a lot
Sooo I don't have a "box" because I guess I never really thought anxiety was deserving of one so I just tend to struggle through my anxiety attacks every time. It's so exhausting, it happens most days that I go full blown anxiety attack and it's far from fun. My heart goes out to you for coping with anxiety attacks, it shows how strong and brave you are.
Much love,
Alana xoxo
You always deserve help, and you always deserve to feel better. If you find yourself struggling to make a box, maybe start with finding/ naming some small things that help you ground and cope, or just feel better/ less shitty. Start with even just one. Stick it in your pants pocket, or in your bag, or somewhere in your house that you pass and use often. Best of luck
I have c-PTSD and this was actually really helpful. Great ideas. I've done things like this but my brain is so chaotic I should put them all together.
Alternative title: Jess fonding over lavender for 13 minutes straight
wow, i never thought of having a box! i definitely have to make one now with a ton of lavender (i too am obsessed with lavender). last summer i finally figured out how to ground- none of the techniques my therapist taught me ever helped, even through 5 years. i figured out why- when i start panicking, i go numb and lose a lot of my senses, especially touch. The only place still active is my mouth. i was out in public and starting to panic, everything was too loud and busy, but i had a lemonade with me. and i was drinking and grounding and the panicking stopped! my mouth was the only area where my senses were working, so it also made the senses a lot stronger. cold of the ice cubes, the feel of the liquid rushing in my mouth, the sourness is super strong, but then there's the nuance of the complex flavour- sweet notes, too. i was at a restaurant with another panic attack, and i ate curry and it grounded me- the layers of spices and flavouring, tons of unique tastes, focusing on the cumin, the cardamon, the curry, and also temperature heat. the more complex and the more textures or tastes there are, the more grounding.
so if anyone else is struggling with typical grounding techniques, i suggest trying something to do with your mouth- mints, gum, chewy stim toys with different textured surfaces. really helpful!
I don't have a box. I never developed a plan. .. BUT I WILL NOW Thanks :)
We are renovating, and it’s terrible for me, so a couple of weeks ago I just claimed my daughters bedroom 😅 It was not ready yet, only been painted white, but I put a single bed in it, put fresh sheets on them, a squishy toy that smells amazing..and my notebook and handcreme (also with lavender :)) in the bedside table. It’s a small room so it’s done cleaning in like 15minutes. It’s a grounding room instead of a box 😄 I’m not able to work anymore and I don’t go out much so that’s what I use..I do find the crystal interesting in case of self harm urges..might go out and get one. Thanks for sharing, much love from Belgium. 💕
If you pull those magnets apart with your fingers on one hand and then throw them up in the air, they'll attach again but make a really cool buzzing noise. I love those things
My therapist recommended one of these a decade ago and have used it ever since! Sour gummy candies and ice packs tend to help me the best ♡ Glad it helps you all; I know it helps me ♡
I keep a pair of quarters in my coat pocket, and it's really helpful going out and about. I can just put my hand in my pocket and roll the quarters around my fingers. I also have several squares of crochet/knit yarn that have heavy texture just for something to run my hands over. My absolute favorite if I'm really struggling is to run my hands over the cement floor in our basement. For some reason, the gritty texture is incredibly calming, plus it's cool to the touch. :) Thanks for all the ideas, Jess! Love from Minnesota.
THIS is the content I needed today. I can't wait to make mine!
Cannot wait to see it! 😍 we’d love for you to share!
I personally own a lot of fidget toys, be it a spinner, a cube, something called a fidget pad, just something to keep my hands occupied. I'm autistic and suffer from bad anxieties lately, as well as big issues with spacing out and losing connection to the real world from time to time.
I tend to only need them when I'm outside while having a bad day, because that causes me to get stressed and panicky from time to time, so my box is actually my bagpack.
So, what's in my bag (aside from the obvious things like my purse and stuff)?
- pencils and my sketchbook; as an artist, drawing helps me calm down, so I try to always have my drawing equipment with me so I can scribble whenever I want
- one or more fidget toys; self-explainatory, I mostly have my fidget pad with me since that one is my favorite at the moment, they just help me calm down when I'm getting stressed out in a store for example
- a little plushy with very fuzzy fur; I love plushies, they remind me of happy days and set my mind back to a state of a kid, which can be a bit problematic so I only use those around people I trust
- hand sanitizer gel; I don't use it too often, but I don't like the smell of desinfection stuff and since the virus makes every customer use them before they enter the store, I just put my nicely smelling gel on my hands after
That's mostly it, sometimes I put in some snacks too, because I like snacking when I get stressed. I hope that if someone reads this, it may help them or give them new ideas
i recently bought some wax melts and a burner. im finding it quite relaxing as a lot of handmade melts have glitter or pearl pigment in.
I can watch the wax shape melt, smell the fragrance, see the glitter swirling, feel the warmth and just focus on those!
A company called Bubbas Meltys also does awareness melts so each of her melts are for a specific physical or mental health issue and some of them also have a portion to charity.
i aso have some little squishie silicon shaped animals and a banana filled with sand to fidget with.
In our bag we have: six little bottles of essential oils, three small plushies, a pen and pad with little affirmations, slime specifically for our littles, and a küsh ball. We use a make up bag with a fluffy keychain so it's portable. You never know when an anxiety attack or any other situation is going to hit, so having them nearby at all times is handy. My therapist has also suggested fidget toys for it, but I wear a fidget bracelet (a zipper) at all times. It's certainly come in handy since we made it.
I definitely need a zipper bracelet tutorial now!
@@ImmmaI I don't know how to make them but you can buy them online for cheap
My therapist recommended something with a very strong taste to ground me when I feel a panic attack coming on. I'm allergic to mint, so I have cinnamon jolly ranchers instead. I carried the bag around in my purse and just popped one if I felt something wrong. It really works!! Other recommendations he made were hot sauce, salt or pepper, cinnamon, cayenne pepper; there's so many things that will work.
Smells are good too. Our therapist has shoved rosemary under our nose more than once during a session... of course, we're starting to hate the smell of rosemary, but it works! 🙂
Cinnamon jolly ranchers?! Wow thanks for sharing
I use ginger chews! I love seeing these different alternatives
My husband has depersonalization disorder and other grounding techniques he's tried haven't seemed to help. They are just ones that he's found and learned himself as he's still on the NHS waiting list for a clinical psychologist. So, I'm keen to show him this and make one with him if he's up for it! Thanks for showing yours and teaching us about grounding boxes :)
Also Bird & Blend tea co. is so fab!
Hi how is ur husband now
dude I've recently been trying to figure out mindfulness and every time I try it feels really weird and uncomfortable, you talking about how it can feel like dissociation at first but is intended to be the opposite explains SO MUCH! that's why I've hated it so much and given up on it 😭 don't mind me just gonna have a breakthrough during therapy this week lmao
We used grounding boxes alot in my work with veterans with PTSD our sense of smell is our strongest sense to bring people out of flashbacks etc and is something to easily hide from others, which veterans often want to do
Our therapist uses rosemary to pull us back to the present. Vile, but it works.
My name is Suzi and I have been diagnosed with DID, panic and anxiety disorders. This grounding container is a great idea.
I have anxiety and depression, and I've kept grounding tools around even before knowing what it was, or being diagnosed:
I keep play-doh in my bag, work desk drawer, and bedroom.
I sometimes carry soap bubbles.
Kinetic sand also helps.
ASMR videos or apps.
Breathing techniques.
Valerian tea.
Journaling.
Elastic band on my wrist to fiddle with or snap against my skin if I really need, and crochet gives me something to concentrate on and fiddle with, but also an excuse to avoid eye contact.
I don't have a box per se, but the system really enjoys the touch sensation for grounding. We wear beaded bracelets that rattle and carry crystals in a pouch that we can hold on to.
i decorate my box with patterns and stuff, and have materials on the out side such as sandpaper or velvet x
What a beautiful idea 🥰😍
That's so cool, we tried something of that sort with our therapy journal. It's full of cats made out of fur, sequence, glitter and rice. So far it has proven invaluable during sessions
I have a little bag I keep in my purse with mints, gum, hand cream, lip balm (I really like the menthol one, but I'm all out rn) ear plugs and hand sanitizer. I usually carry a little plushies in my pocket or bag too.
When I'm at home I always have my blanket with me, it's super soft and the second my mind starts to drift I can just reach to my side and cuddle it. I also do this thing where I inhale and exhale as a whistle; I started doing this as a child cause my asthma was awful and didn't really understand it. When I could hear my breath I could focus more on it, I also forget to breathe sometimes so it comes in handy when that happens. Other than that incense and cold things are where it is at for me!
I love this! ❤️ I have GAD, and a lot of my anxiety does happen in social situations, so I try to use the more subtle grounding techniques. I do have a rose/murumuru butter cream that I love, but unfortunately bothers my mom because of her allergies so I have to be careful with that one. I use a technique my therapist taught me of touching the tip/pad of my thumb to the tips/pads of each finger one at a time (start at pinky & go to pointer) firmly (but not too hard) & say a 4- word phrase (I use Peace Begins with Me) over and over until I calm down (and a bit after) because it actually sends a signal to your brain to calm down. I also have a ring that I bought because I wanted a pretty silver ring, that incidentally has a part that just spins (it is only a band)! I tend to spin that a lot when I get anxious, the repetitive motion helps me calm down (and it has some texture). And of course, the classic deep breathing helps too (always breathe out longer than you breathe in to activate the vagus nerve to calm down)! Thanks for sharing Jess!
Oh, and something else I thought of that I don't do, but heard on Kati Morton's channel (she's a therapist with an educational channel) is clapping your hands together really hard. Apparently after you clap your hands, you feel the tingle of the clap travel up your hands/arms and try to focus on where it goes and when it stops.
I have a different mental illness that causes dissociation and derealization and I have a safety box. Best thing ever. Helpful for grounding or for when I'm in a full blown crisis.
I have stuff all over the house but I should definitely make a box so things are more accessible and easy to find.
I really suggest therapy dough! You can find it on amazon. It is scented, very soft, and very smooth. It is not like any other putty or play-do. I highly suggest it
My therapist recommended glitter jars a while ago, they were really wonderful! These boxes are so great, I absolutely love the shape of yours! Hope you’re all doing well x
Watch Me Do That’s a great suggestion, thank you! ✨
I keep a beanie baby cat in my grounding box because it's tactile and you can hear the beans giggling around. I also have a full plastic big box I call my happy box because it has nice cards people gave to me and just a lot of nice things.
I have a 'crisis box' mostly to stop me from self-harming but these are great add-ups to it, coz I don't have enough tools to fight dissociation. I also have numbers of my close friends, hotlines, and chats, and I added some positive reminders written on pieces of paper and nice little things that I accidentally find while digging the box, and they always cheer me up a little
I have c-ptsd and I needed to see this. Thank you so much for this idea
My anxiety has been bad lately. I am going to make a grounding box ASAP. Thank you.
It's worth trying weighted blankets. If you relax under piles of blankets and quilts , weighted blankets may help calm you.
I never thought about mints when i am doing my breathing techniques for my anxiety.
edit: Thanks for doing this Jess, I am going to try this cause i deal with anxiety. Really appreciate this
My cats are very grounding for me. Touch, smell, warmth. Sometimes taking care of another being helps too ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
We have a fuzzy tangle! We carry that around in our purse. ❤️
I’m watching this from my room just for me time. You are part of my me time activities
I adore grounding kits! When I made mine it was during group therapy and they were taught to us as self soothe kits!
I don't have a box but mine is in a little plush/squishy bag that I can clip to my purse or hold around my wrist. It's super squishy and soft which is great! And inside I have:
-beaded bracelets that are all different kinds and shapes and sizes of beads. I use these tactically also I love to count them!
-vanilla lipbalm. I chew on my lips if I'm struggling so this soothes that and mine is really strong smelling which helps a lot.
-hard candies.
-a puzzle cube of some sort to mindfully distract.
-and of course my emergency meds!
This is one of the best videos I've seen explaining this and I can't wait to share it with others!
This just taught me what the vagus nerve is (even though I've always used it)! I have really bad circulation and my hands are pretty much always freezing and the first thing I do when I dissociate is touch my neck to cool down and destress.
I don’t have a box, but I like jokes whether it is someone telling me them or my phone. The smell of coconut or anything tropical fruity helps with my anxiety or panic attacks. I also do diamond art or paint by numbers for me to focus on something.
I've always been really reluctant to try meditation and mindfulness because it's something that I really associate with my mother, who is/was very abus*ve towards me, but this video has really given me another perspective on what meditation and mindfulness can be. Its sometimes hard to remember that just because my abu**r does something it doesn't mean that I can't reclaim its meaning and purpose for myself.
I recently had a panic attack... I’ve had many before but this past one has been, for me, the worst of them... I could feel my throat closing up, my body was calm but my mind wasn’t, felt suffocating. The only thing that helped me calm down was my plushie and also having a mint. Those are always in my bag, I’m glad Im not the only one. I never before thought about your idea of creating a Safety Box sort of say. Thank you for this!
Watching that video of you being relaxed made me feel relaxed.
Anxiety and depression, I don't have a box but I do have bits and pieces around the house.
I'm not a huge fan of lavender, but I do have a stress relief moisturiser that has lavender, chamomile and ylang-ylang in it.
Scents are great for me, so I usually gravitate towards scented slimes and playdoughs. I really should make some home-made playdough and add some essential oils to it.
I've recently gotten a weighted blanket, on sale of course, and that has been helping. Especially when restrictions mean I miss being touched, the weight around my shoulders feels like a hug.
Stress eating is a habit I'm trying to break, but crunchy foods like potato chips can help. Hot chips or cold iceblocks/ice creams are things I associate with positive memories, and also help soothe my throat when the stress makes my throat sore from recurring tonsillitis/worse (had glandular fever once, get tonsillitis/sinusitis/bronchitis now when I let myself get tired and stressed and run down).
I've got some fidget spinners and fidget cubes around from when I had a multicategorical support class and wanted things to help them fidget quietly (mental health, ADHD, ASD and other diagnoses). We made beautiful calm down jars with coloured water, glitter and glitter glue, so I might try making another one soon. You can shake the shit out of it when you're angry/stressed, then release and calm as you watch the glitter swirl and float to the bottom of the jar (long skinny clear water bottles are the best option).
This is such a good idea. I love tins the noise of them helps ground me and calm any littles. I should make a grounding box! Thank you for the idea!
Usually to help ground me if im panicked or dissociating i start to look for specific colors or rub my hands on surfaces or my cloths to feel something. And someone in our system ALWAYS remind me or whoever is panicked that we are safe. So even if we are panicked we're at least aware that we're in a safe place to panic and calm down.
Thank you so much Jess!
Yes! The best grounding video I’ve watched! The only person who’s recommended ice/cold! Tbh, when I’m about to have a panic attack, cold water saves me. Cold water on my hands, arms, face, back of my neck... even eating ice 👍👍 great vid, thanks 🥰
Jess - thank you SO much for this! I’ve been in therapy for 22 years and have been working with a trauma therapist for the last year. So much has been resurfacing as I shelter in place, body memories, flashbacks, and night terrors are an every day thing. I do have a rich toolkit and a lot of emotional intelligence, but I’ve been struggling to help everyone feel safe in the grounding and container creation process.
I also have an 11 year old nephew who I co-parent from the same family system of trauma (my brother has BPD, struggles with addiction and denies a need for treatment). With my help, my nephew has lived with his mother for the last 5 years and I am helping guide him in learning about his emotions. We are very close.
I think that not only is this a great project to center all of me in times of need, but that it will be an invaluable resource to my nephew who is seeking out his own place and value in this wild and beautiful, world we live in.
Bless you all, you have given me hope and brightened my day. ✌🏽🌈♥️⭐️
I won’t get into all of my toolkit, but my most recent additions have been very helpful:
I have a salt rock lamp on a dimmer that is calming. I get migraines and the warm light helps me feel at ease, closer to nature, and safe.
I recently purchased a heat therapy toy/plush at snuggables.net. It’s made in Canada (they have US affiliates, not sure about UK/Elsewhere). Snuggables are hypoallergenic, fragrance free and have a fabric bag filled with rice that you can microwave. Having warmth on my stomach in times of activation really helps. I can also add essential oils to it as well to help with dissociation. 🐾✨
For crafty folks/those on a budget, here is a tutorial on making your own heatable plush: www.thirdstopontheright.com/easy-tutorial-making-stuffed-animal-microwavable-heating-pad/
This is beautiful! You’re doing a wonderful job 💖 thank you for offering support and opening your heart to others! That’s certainly not easy when you’re going through so much. Please keep us updated 🌸
MultiplicityAndMe So lovely to hear from you! I’ll be sure to post an update. 🍓
Mint sounds super helpful with deep breathing~ When we're at work, we do deep breathing in little bursts when we can (in the nose, out the mouth, we sometimes like to puff our cheeks up and make our lips super tight, exhaling out of as small an opening as possible, the push relieves stress and anxiety). If at home, we use lots of plushies, mostly teddy bears, anything fluffy/furry to hug on. We have 3 dogs, and we've been known to bury our face in their fur sometimes.
Even though I don't have DID, I still experience depression and sometimes panic attacks so I try to distract myself by listening to music or painting with watercolor to try and relax myself and even improve my skills.
I've never thought about making a grounding box. This is an amazing idea and I can't wait to get started on one of my own. I also need to get my hands on some of that mohdoh.
I don't have a box, but I'm definitely making one now! It's such a wonderful idea ❤️
To ground myself, I usually go for pressing my fingers on my legs one at the time and counting in my head (it's very discreet so I feel safe doing it in public), putting ice cubes in my mouth (the added benefit here is hydration, which is nice), fidget toys and this thing I learned from Tumblr where you look for stuff around you that could stimulate each of your senses, bc that forces you to focus on your whereabouts and that helps so much (I talked about it to my therapist and he approves). It's always nice to learn and test new techniques, it feels like I'm adding more stuff to my arsenal and taking another step to feel more in control of my life. Thanks for sharing with us ❤️❤️
I don’t have DID but I do suffer from anxiety and panic attacks....and this video has inspired me to get a grounding box!! Thank you so much for this video!! It was so comforting and right on time!!
All this time I've been suffering without knowing what to do, I'm so happy that you've made this video, I'm going to make ourselves a box 😊
My S/O both suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc., and this box is such a good idea for grounding! I'll be putting one together for us as soon as I can; thank you for the inspiration! ☺️
These would make such a great gift. I want to make one for myself also for when I have a panic attack.
We did a whole class (3 hours every week for 9 weeks) on mindfulness with a group and it helped sO MUCH with our dissociation. We still use those techniques more than a year later
I’ve always just sort of kept grounding tools in the bottom of my backpack (a stuffed animal, a fidget, and a Rubik’s Cube usually lol) but now I’m really considering making a proper box! Thanks for this video!!
I don't have DID but I do struggle with flashbacks and anxiety a lot. I never thought of doing this-- normally I just plug in my earbuds and try and forcefully ground myself with the noise. It's useful I guess but not always sensible. But a grounding box would actually be so much more helpful. Thank you!
Music is great! Sometimes we even do both 😄 please let us know how you get on if you do make a little box
I love your box, the shape is so enticing as a tactile stimulus 😍 I find leaving the area I am in when starting to have a panic/anxiety attack really helps. It is my first go to as a grounding method, I take myself out of the environment that I'm feeling overwhelmed in and find somewhere I can continue to ground myself that feels safe such as outside or in the bathroom ❤ obviously this doesn't always work as those feeling can over take you very fast and even out of the blue, but it is a little way that helps me feel I still have control ~ much love to your system 💕
In the virtual reality video, it was so very powerful to see you all holding hands and counting down for grounding.
I dont really have a box, but i have a list of things i can do if im dissociating or overwhelmed by emotion (too bad its kind of hit or miss with them actually helping but ok)
My main ones for dissociating are: uno (or really any fast paced game that gets my competitive side going), pushing a wall (the tension in my muscles can help ground me, even better if it has texture), drinking a warm/hot drink, and listening to music
The tangle... we use to have those when we were younger. Actually more specifically Ace use to play with those when we were younger. I messed with them a bit as well but it was mostly Ace. We might actually still have them but I can't remember where they are. I haven't seen or thought about those things since I was a child. I got 4 for 25 cents from one of those machines in the front of a grocery store and the next thing I know there's a bunch of them I didn't even know I had all over my room I don't know where the others came from, and they kind of just disappeared after that.
Even though I don't personally struggle with DiD I really love learning about everything you teach. I have a little fidget stress ball for work
Well being honest, I don't have did but when I was a kid, I had some major traumatic experiences. That continued until I was 19 years old. I have anxiety and panic attacks since then. On top of that comes my bipolar disorder. I never knew about grounding until I found out myself what helps me to ground. Lavender and roses are the two smells that calm me down. Found that out when I started to rubb lavender oil all around my arms and hands. But your little box contains so many very useful things that might help me as well. For the first time in years I have a steady job (besides covid... Major trigger to stay at home all alone) and if I feel a panic attack coming I sometimes.. Like.. Knock out? I know where I am, I know what I'm doing but it's like I look down on me. And because I cannot do this at work, I started to bring my lavender oil with me.
Firstly thank you for making this, I definitely needed to be reminded of this and I am going to put all of my things in a box instead of having to search for them while panicking!! I have a tangle toy, small and large slow rising squishy toys, for me I’m allergic to chemical (artificial) fragrance but essential oils without artificial fragrance work perfectly, a lavender essential oil stick, ginger chewables or hard candy, cold water to drink, slime or putty, soft blankets, and more. Also pets can help as funny as it sounds if I feel my dog’s fur and then the rough parts of her paws or she licks me or her cold wet nose touches me I am able to ground myself and feel her comfort!! I’m definitely going to have to get some of the things you have in this video!! Thank you again, this video made me really happy to see!!
Honestly this is so helpful since I’ve been having frequent anxiety attacks recently and I didn’t really know how to deal with them.
I'm going to make a Grounding box to keep with me when I go back to working with students at school. As a Paraprofessional this will be great to have 💜
Ohh that’s so incredible! Please let us know how it goes! 🌸🌸🌸
I’ve never had a grounding box, more just things around the house that I know help me and calm me. The things I especially find helpful I actually will carry with me, most especially in my University bag becuase that’s when I struggle the most. So things like lotion, essential oil roller, lip balm, mints, etc. small things that no one would think twice about actually help me the most! But after watching this, I think I’m going to put together my own box for the times I’m at home so that I don’t need to try and find the things that help, rather having them all in one spot to turn to! I love you guys so much!!
I have one of those little cushions/grain filled bags you can heat up in the microwave and use it as a stimming toy. I just love the feeling of the grain between my fingers.
And I also love the smell of lavender. It really helps me to calm down.
I used to have a bunch of those Tangle things but I lost track of them when I moved. I need to get some new ones those things are the best!
I, personally, carry a satchel with me wherever I go. Oftentimes people think it's just a purse so no one really questions it. And it does provide me a sense of safety in times when I feel panicked and out of control. I'm glad you talked about this :)
A grounding technique I use alot is going through a list of as many animals I can remember and if I'm having a freak out and can't calm down, I make myself focus on trying connect animals through association (like starting off with one animal and the first animal that comes to mind and then so on) Its more of a calming technique to distract my brain from panicking/freaking out
Thank you so much for the ideas
I will definitely put an very small lavender pillow in the box. It's really calming
I don’t have DID but I have a box for when my anxiety over comes me. Lots of memories that bring relaxing memories. Thank you for sharing
Thanks for the new video, M&M. I’m off to get some lavender now... and discounted chocolate in a fancy tin (though mainly for the chocolate!).
Mine was from hotel chocolat and honestly the tin was a lucky find 😂 I was in it for the chocolate too!
It is great seeing you right now!! Thanks a lot...💜