Basically she hid it from him so she could be a stay at home mom when they actually couldn’t afford it. She needs to go to work. She’s a real piece of work. This is just the beginning.
Yep, like I said, having a student loan is not something to be ashamed of. It is not something to hide. He would have married her anyway. They just would have put off having kids for maybe a year or two to get it paid off before she could be a stay at home mom. Instead she decided to be sneaky about it. just wrong on so many levels. I have a feeling that she married him to be a meal ticket.
@@jeraldbottcher1588Yeah was she rushing to be a stay at home mom so he would become liable for it? That’s unethical as hell and calls for a divorce to be honest, she must have thought confessing the loan to him would make him push back the wedding and having kids (which he should do in such a case). She rushed him into things instead of doing things slow and proper, this is a tactic that scammers use and he needs to be wary of her if she is showing a serious lack of integrity and work ethic. She is responsible for her loans and she needs to help pay it off, in fact she needs to pay most of it off. They can garnish her wages, except if she has no money….so as a consequence will they garnish his wages in exchange? 🤔
My ex hid $100k debt to his parents for 17 years and it only came out after I left him and went to court for financial separation. Thankfully the judge realised it was from before we started living together and I wasn’t liable to repay any of it
Or just work when dad is home even if it just part time. She can work a couple of nights a week and one weekend and bring in some extra $ to help tackle that loan.
He was her bailout plan all along. And he will have to pay child support and alimony if they end up divorcing, plus lose half his assets. Pretty nice deal for her.
Imagine going 60k in debt for a degree you have no intention of using, hiding that debt from your husband and making no efforts at all to help pay for it. In what world is that a good wife?
I doubt she had no intention of using. Likely when she was 18-20 years old, in college, thinking she’d have a career. Then babies come and that changes everything. This lady needs to work and grandparents need to provide free daycare to help this out
Not only did she hide a massive loan from you, she is now getting you to pay it off and also wont help you out at all while you're financially going under. You've got yourself a winner there.
Every word out of the caller's mouth points to: Sell the house, divorce the wife who lied - the kids are an issue though. His whole life is built on lies. 😂😂😂
The efficiency of this *DaleValskov* is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work jack!!
Congratulations, *DaleValskov* I am relieved that you are out there fighting these thugs, We musttake every precaution to protect the elderly and the general public from these despicable con artists. Congratulations to You!! You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for ensuring our security.
Probably because he should be. He's convinced himself it's not a big deal, but it 100% is. A spouse hiding something that big and then showing no remorse over it or willingness to help make it right is a huge red flag. If you keep ignoring stuff like that in a marriage, things will not end well. You need to address them, and probably do it in the context of marriage counseling.
and someone THAT lazy clearly did the degree to avoid working for those years too. She's a disgrace and needs to get off her arse and start contributing.
Because there is a biological reality that you only have a small window to have children. If you’re in poverty Id agree but to say you’re going to wait to have kids so you can have more money could haunt you forever as the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.
A $1400 mortgage payment is more than a $1500 rent payment. The mortgage has taxes, insurance, repairs, replacements of things. When the roof,A/C, etc need replacing it will be much more than the $100 difference.
Yea but you have equity build up through appreciation and loan pay down plus tax advantages. Rent goes up every year. They absolutely made a good decision to buy instead of rent
@@tomdixon1213 You currently have a 10-14 year wait to break even buying vs renting. If you're not sure you're staying for a decade, you rent in the current market.
That is a ton of debt to just "forget" to mention and then think she can just pay for it out of his income without telling him. Outrageous. She needs to go back to work and help pay this down. She lied by omission. I wouldn't trust her again.
As a trans woman, comments like yours disgust me. This comment section is filled with misogynistic hate speech and here you are, a woman, joining the males in their vitriol. Have some self respect.
It seems to be a growing belief that it's not just nice for kids to have their own rooms, but a necessity. Private space is nice, but why does that have to be a bedroom (at least if theyre the same gender)?
My heart goes to the entire community for *DaleValskov* building up something even my grandpa can understand. This is so smart by them to launch it to shatter the doubts and fears of the common folk which is not even correct to begin with. Everyone knows the state of inflation and recession now and the way out is already in progress. Now it's just about catching the big fish
I feel that the last bull run was bolstered by all the money being printed. Major returns next bull run but I think they will be tamer in my humble opinion. A 10x on *DaleValskov* and a 15x on polygon are fair considering how much those two coins are interwov
Tax is probably a couple hundred a month, plus insurance, another couple hundred, plus repairs of a few thousand a year. The payment ends up being closer to 2200 after all those.
Why do people say that "then there's tax and insurance," just to be put out a negative attitude? I don't know what loan servicer you're using, but the overwhelming majority of mortgage payments INCLUDE the tax and insurance in the number you're paying in escrow. So yes, his $1400 mortgage payment almost certainly includes insurance and taxes. If you think or want to argue otherwise, that burden of proof is on YOU to prove before just saying it. I've had a total of 4 mortgage servicers through refinances or the lender selling the mortgage, and not once has it even come up to not escrow those costs. So, them buying the house was not a terrible decision. If you're going to argue that taxes and insurance could go up, then that means they're going up for landlords too. Do you really think landlords would just eat that cost and not raise the rent of the tenants?
You guys are just awesome with tackling the real problems here...its not the money but the anger and resentment he is hiding. In my country Uganda 60,000usd is the annual budget of a local council. That's a lot of money. He better forget the money and start rebuilding his marriage. That's a huge sign of how the wife doesn't respect or even love her husband.
Mortgage is more expensive than rent. A mortgage just nickels and dimes you instead of one amount. Kinda like states with no income tax who still get their money and then some.
@@BrianW211 LOL. That's how they justify the bad decision. It means nothing, appreciation is not cash. Cash is king and when you can't pay the mortgage and you have to sell, you're not going to see a lot of appreciation, especially after you factor in realtor fees.
My husband did this when I found Dave. He did our money but when I discovered the mess, I took over the money, put us on a Dave Ramsey budget and got us out of debt in 18 months. If one spouse lies, they lose money management privileges.
@@edhcb9359 if your wife lied about money and is withholding sexual privileges, then I feel sorry for you dude. You need to gtfo that “relationship” right now
@@my_slifestyle_2667 I think it is especially important for women to face the numbers ie bills. Yes, budgeting is joint and I agree that both should know what is going on. Just that women tend to have less access to money than do the men. Lots of Ramsey calls of wife clueless or excluded from money decisions.
Student loans have killed marriage for younger generations. I feel like we have to enter relationships automatically on defense because so many are starting off with large debts.
That’s true. My partner and I are taking care of our debts before we even start our relationship. We don’t want to begin our marriage being drowned by the anchor of debt.
It’s possible she hid it but I’m at minute 1:41 when he’s being told she lied and the caller has not said that . We have no idea if these people were having financial meetings and such or asking about each others debt . I know couples that don’t even know each others income. I’m not recommending that but maybe you all should ask some more questions first . See - now we are at 6:46 and the caller is saying they hadn’t even discussed the debt before . This is why you ask questions . It doesn’t change that she needs to go back to work but it does call into question all this financial infidelity schtick they wanted to paste onto this situation .
Felt they were really putting words into his mouth with this one. He called up, wanting financial advice on how to tackle this and whether his wife should go back to work to clear this quicker. They then came out with the “emotional aspect”, “financial infidelity” etc etc. The guy never mentioned the emotional side once. Just wanted to know how to tackle this math problem.
John loves to judge a complex situation with 15 seconds of information. It is so irresponsible as a doctor to character assassinate people within 30 seconds of a phone call and definitively speak on something he could not possibly have all the facts on. I always regret clinking on his videos. He is always negative and, frankly, unprofessional. He comes across as a preachy, holier than thou and quick to jump to conclusions - there is no nuance or critical thinking - just quick judgement.
@@mrscmeier9570 Hello, if she would lie about 60K in student loans she will easily hide credit cards, and spend massive amounts. That is why they had to bring up the emotional side and the trust issues.
This feels so wrong. They just depict this woman as that horrible liar that she needs to hurry and give an ultimatum to… yet they don’t even know the full story. Really really bad advice. I hope he doesn’t listen to them.
Math isn't the problem. It's just a secondary issue. The problem is he's convinced himself that it's not a big deal that his wife hid something this big from him, and then shows no remorse or willingness to make it right. So he needs someone to help him realize it is. You can't just keep ignoring something like this in a marriage. If he were to do that, they'd never address the root issue and it would only fester and get worse. They should probably take it to marriage counseling and work it out.
She lied and hid 60 thousand dollars of debt. I think he wants to believe it was not intentional. It probably was, because he seems to be a lot more worried about their finances.
@@Diashi1267 No, the alternative is to confront her and ask her to go to couples therapy. That’s how true healing begins, not deluding himself about what’s going on and hoping for the best.
I don't understand the stay in an apartment thing. With a mortgage, you get to build up equity and you get to "lock in" your monthly payments (rent will go up a lot faster than taxes & insurance)
Was I just distracted or did they not ask his career/income? I feel like that’s a super important part of the equation in determining whether their budget is out of wack. Also, I get what the wife did was screwed up but he found out two years ago, so not sure it makes sense to come out guns blazing now. That should have been a discussion two years ago. They really seemed to breeze over a lot of important points. Also worth asking what the wife’s degree/career was. Depending on her earning potential it might financially make more sense to have her stay home with the kids than pay for day care.
These guys are ridiculous criticizing buying the home. The mortgage is less than rent, and they are gaining equity. Rent goes up every year, their mortgage won’t. These guys are way off criticizing him for owning the home. Stupid.
It’s not. Property taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses. Houses always have phantom costs. And he’s on a variable rate that went up to 10%. So he’s already paying more
Do any alpha male ever call this show? This couple will drown in debt like many other American couples. This is the first time ive see John give alpha advice and told this beta the reality of his situation. Simpin aint easy
From $17K to $145K that's the minimum range of profit return every week I thinks it's not a bad one for me, now I have enough to pay bills and take care of my family.
celia dullpher. understanding of market indicators is impressive. She knows exactly when to enter and exit trades for maximum profit. her siignals are top notch
celia dullpher. understanding of market indicators is impressive. She knows exactly when to enter and exit trades for maximum profit. her siignals are top notch...
this isnt even half the damage yet. Wait till he pays off her debt and then divorces him. She will get the house, the kids, his assets, his pension and a lifetime of alimony payyments. She hit the jackpot with this guy.
@@boston312 as unelectedleader said she not only racked up the body count in college she is continuing to rack it up and tosleep with bad boy Chad and Tyrone while this good provider guy is slaving himself at work to pay off her debt, shes cheating on him and when he pays off her debt she will divorce him and take all his stuff smh... Never get married boys stay single
To be honest I really really underestimated how much work having kids is I thought it would be easy to manage both but the reality isn’t. I’m lucky because my husband was a stay at home dad for a year because that was important to him so I never get the “what have you even done today “ but I got to say 90% of the time I’m very jealous of how little he has to do in his work day. And yes I would consider my Batchelor degree of Economics worthless, the only time it’s paid off is in understanding what’s going on and timing our investments.
Amen. Preach it loudly. You go to college for years, rack up huge debts, then plan to stay at home. Just find a sucker to marry and pay it off. Bet her mom said "Youz Married Now" let your husband pay it off. She' your responsibility now.
Of course he cares, how could he not care about such a massive deception? He just doesn't sound visibly upset cos it happened 2 years ago so it's in the past.
I don’t feel she hid it or lied to him. They just combined finances and she didn’t think about it. She just rolled it into what already happening. The issue is he never asked her if she had debt. He just assumed she didn’t. So this is on both of them. That being said, she really does need to contribute to the finances. If she cannot find a job that covers her loan plus child care she at least needs to babysit or do something part time during hours that he is home so they don’t have to pay for child care.
It's called lying by omission. "She" had to setup the auto debit from "their" bank account. so she absolutely didn't forget she had the debt. He discovered it at the bank and questioned the auto debits.
She could babysit other people's children, that way she wouldn't need any childcare for her own kids. Depending on how busy she managed to make herself with looking after children and how much she negotiated to be paid for it she could make enough to pay off the loan in 2 years, maybe 3. Also, depending on what the degree is for she could get a stay at home job with it. If it's more of a hands on job then obviously she can't do that, but she can probably find another way to monetize that education.
As long as she makes more than $14/hr, she will be bringing in more than what childcare costs. She needs to use her degree, make $30/hr and go back to work for 2-3 years until this debt is paid off. That’s about how long it would take her if her paycheck went to daycare & the student loan debt.
@@mle011 Lol, childcare for 2 kids is $14/hr? I know most of Daves listeners live in flyover country, but that's $3k+/mo here...more like $30/gr gross pay to break even on that.
Many men don’t look at the budget in traditional marriages. Usually the woman handles most of the money because she pays the bills and calls the handyman
Paying 1500 to someone for rent vs 1400 for a mortgage is a no brainer move. Because instead of paying off someone else’s investment your paying off your own. And it’s not costing you a penny more.
This is a big deal… she needs to get her ass back to work! Work during the day, deliver pizzas at night as Dave would say if this were the husband who hid the debt.
One reason she may not have told him, was that student loans seem to be so normalised in the US, that for many, it is assumed everyone has one? Regardless though, when talking about budget matters, that should have been laid on the table.
@donaldjohnson-ow3kq Sure, in your situation probably deliberate. I was just proposing that PERHAPS it may not have been a deliberate deception. By the same token, it sure could have been. Your own experience is not necessarily universal to everyone. When you are making it out that this has to be deliberate, is the kind of attitude we see on these threads like "all women are liars, cheats, irresponsible, etc". Some can be just clueless, not deliberately malicious. Plenty of men are irresponsible and or liars, but I do not paint out all men to be the same, even though my ex-husband was one.
@@davinasquirrel7672 couldn't agree more. It could be that student loan debt was so normalized to her. Not disclosing it after so many years together and married is beyond odd to me, like how did this not come up in any conversation?? But to think she was malicious and their marriage is a dumpster fire may not at all be accurate. That said, she needs to be responsible and get a job until they reach their financial goals. Not just the $60k debt but 6 months of savings now that they own a home!
She totally did it intentionally and maliciously. Listen how the guy says he found it after they moved their finances to a different institution and he saw these automatic withdrawals and then he had to confront her about it she lied she hid it it was a 150 percent intentional
How could she think it would be ok for her.. or even possible to be a stay at home mom when she had such a dept ? She just dumped over her crap on the husband and expected him to manage it all? There is no reason to be a stay at home mom with just one kid.
Daycare costs are INSANE so even if she goes back to work, she may not net much/anything….because there are also costs associated with working….cars, travel, work clothing, etc. instead she can babysit a couple other people’s kids in their home and bring in $500/week or more.
You have to be careful, anything goes wrong , even a scratch and homeowners insurance won't pay because they say you are running a business, same with accepting anything for gov ng a regular ride, sadly I learned the hard way in my youth. And be leery of friends, neighbors or even family you think would never sue you, money unfortunately does bad things to people sometimes
Your first mistake was as a man is calling the Ramsey network for any relationship type of advice. They adhere to a strict Christian doctrine, they can't give you an objective point of view. Second and most importantly, they will most of the time side with the woman or as Dave likes to call them "princesses". Had you called a network/pod cast that specializes in men's issues and men's perspective they would have told you to begin the process of documentation. Anyone whom you are engaged in a legal contract with (marriage) that is willing to lie to you about large sums of cash cannot be trusted. You made the critical error of entering into a legally binding contract (enforced by the government) with someone whom you have romantic feelings for. This isn't 1940, 1963, 1984 this is 2024 marriage does not retain its historical importance, particularly for men. You complicated it further by creating a child with this person, the liar. You wont recover from this, that isn't how men are wired. Start positioning yourself for divorce now and you can then work on creating a great life for yourself and your biological children. Good luck.
Divorved, he'll be on the hook for 18 years of CS, and since wifey doesn't work, maintenance support as well. He is going to pay one way or the other. it is the way of things for weak men.
He found out she lied to him but continued to have children with her AND get into more financial difficulties with an untrustworthy woman. Geeeezzzzzz🙄
John is annoying. He makes a lot of assumptions & goes straight into psychological mode This is a financial show man. You cant know everyones life from a 2 min intro summary.
Rent is the max you’ll pay but a mortgage is the minimum you’ll pay. $1,500 rent vs $1,400 mortgage but what about maintenance/repairs, taxes, & insurance?
Ayo whaaaaat?? I tell my fiance everythingggg and we're getting married in August 100% transparent about goals and dreams and the future. This woman straight up lies about her debts and I'd be SOOOO upset if I was him. He sounds defeated 😢
The guy is asking for financial advice, not the emotional aspect of the problem. That's not why he called. I hope they can get their act together and actually help people instead of veering off topic.
Dude needs to keep an eye out on his credit, because if she will lie about this kind of stuff then she will lie about spending 25K on fancy designer clothes. "What this old thing?" Code for I bought it and hid from you and have no plans on telling you how much I spent on it.
I just hate how John brings gloom & doom. He can afford this house- it's $100 cheaper than the rent he was paying. He wants to open up wounds & this happened 2 years ago & they have moved on facing that debt. Give the guy a break- he entered a marriage with a lie & he's dealing with it- give him some grace!
John 100% right on this one. They can’t afford the house. Taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses plus phantom costs. Also said his variable rate went up from 2-10%. And the dude is trying to deal with these problems without dealing with actual problem. You can tell he never actually confronted his wife about lying. And until he does his wife is gonna continue living a false reality and he will continue dealing with the consequences and live in misery.
Anybody hear the graduation speech by the Kansas City kicker who congratulated the ladies on achieving their degrees and suggested they go out and be wives? Sounds like this lady is living out that scenario. She could've saved herself and husband a lot of cost by just skipping college to begin with.
It definitely doesn't make a lot of sense for a woman to get a degree she has no plans on using. I know a woman who got a degree, I believe it was in nursing, with plans to get married and never actually work as a nurse. I don't remember if it was supposed to be a fallback if her husband passed away prematurely, or if it was a thing of "bring something to the marriage," but whatever it was it was definitely a waste of time and money, cause she's in her 60's, has never once used that degree professionally, and has too many health problems to use it now, even if it wasn't a 30-40 year old degree.
@sanityssakearts1416 I know SO many women like this. Friend's mom, when I graduated nursing, said "oh, I'm a nurse, too!" Asked where she worked, said she never did. Graduated, got married, and 30 years later had never worked a day!! Nursing is PERFECT for a family woman, too. When our kids were little I worked every second weekend, hubs did M-F. Never needed daycare.
Maybe she didn’t do it intentionally. Maybe she doesn’t take money that seriously which is wrong but I don’t believe she lied. It’s perhaps time to have a heart to heart conversation with your wife about your current financial state and really explain your fears, concerns and your vision for the family and asked her to help in it. And You may want to get someone else like a counselor or pastor involved to show how serious you are about it. Your wife, the mother of your children is not a monster, she’ll understand.
His wife is a deadbeat. He really messed up. He needs to seriously think about divorce now because it’s just gonna get harder every year. It’s hilarious that he thinks owning a home is cheaper than renting 😅😅
Y'all, it does not matter how much in love you are or how much trust you have, you go through each aspect of your partner's finances and them yours before you even consider getting married. You also must be in agreement on your financial and family goals.
Basically she hid it from him so she could be a stay at home mom when they actually couldn’t afford it. She needs to go to work. She’s a real piece of work. This is just the beginning.
Yep, like I said, having a student loan is not something to be ashamed of. It is not something to hide. He would have married her anyway. They just would have put off having kids for maybe a year or two to get it paid off before she could be a stay at home mom. Instead she decided to be sneaky about it. just wrong on so many levels. I have a feeling that she married him to be a meal ticket.
@@jeraldbottcher1588Yeah was she rushing to be a stay at home mom so he would become liable for it? That’s unethical as hell and calls for a divorce to be honest, she must have thought confessing the loan to him would make him push back the wedding and having kids (which he should do in such a case).
She rushed him into things instead of doing things slow and proper, this is a tactic that scammers use and he needs to be wary of her if she is showing a serious lack of integrity and work ethic. She is responsible for her loans and she needs to help pay it off, in fact she needs to pay most of it off. They can garnish her wages, except if she has no money….so as a consequence will they garnish his wages in exchange? 🤔
@@jeraldbottcher1588 I agree. Anna In Ohio
@@TheSoulCrisis2 kids and a morgage so quick into marriage was to tie him up, before the truth came out.
They could afford it prior to having to pay off 60K accruing 10% interest while they sleep.
My ex hid $100k debt to his parents for 17 years and it only came out after I left him and went to court for financial separation. Thankfully the judge realised it was from before we started living together and I wasn’t liable to repay any of it
wow! good for you. that’s nuts
Hold up where you guys just dating?
Goodness!!!
@@gladylagy3565 no we were married
@@gladylagy3565 no we were married for 17 years
These calls always make me grateful I'm single and don't settle for bums making stupid financial decisions. That word "love" sure can be expensive!!
I couldn’t agree with you more !! Well said !!! 😊
She can babysit two more children to earn 500 a week and use it to pay the loan.
It’s all up to his wife.
It might feel like work to her.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Oh no, not work!
Or just work when dad is home even if it just part time. She can work a couple of nights a week and one weekend and bring in some extra $ to help tackle that loan.
Don't kid yourself, she ain't gonna get a job and clean up her mess, that's what she's got YOU for 😂
That's what marriage is for! Once you give a woman kids and you're married the chase is over.
This marriage is basically a fraud. Don’t think the state will care though since there are now children involved
He was her bailout plan all along. And he will have to pay child support and alimony if they end up divorcing, plus lose half his assets. Pretty nice deal for her.
LMAO
@@alberttang6955 alimony is not a thing anymore, and she didn’t have those kids by herself 🙄
The guy is right for buying the house.
This woman is a world class liar.
He seems to be okay with it since he’s been dealing with it for two yrs rather than being PO-ed from the get go.
Imagine going 60k in debt for a degree you have no intention of using, hiding that debt from your husband and making no efforts at all to help pay for it. In what world is that a good wife?
Nothing was hidden. You cannot tell me that he did not know about it when they took out a mortgage?
To tradcon simps, any wife is a good wife because they view a man as worthless unless he's chasing after a woman.
That's the modern woman.
@@jimmymcgill6778 If she has no income, she's not on the mortgage. He can get one by himself.
I doubt she had no intention of using. Likely when she was 18-20 years old, in college, thinking she’d have a career. Then babies come and that changes everything. This lady needs to work and grandparents need to provide free daycare to help this out
Not only did she hide a massive loan from you, she is now getting you to pay it off and also wont help you out at all while you're financially going under. You've got yourself a winner there.
Every word out of the caller's mouth points to: Sell the house, divorce the wife who lied - the kids are an issue though. His whole life is built on lies. 😂😂😂
And the losing gets even worse for him if they end up divorcing a few years down the road.
I hope he asked his wife if there was anything else she needed to tell him.
Maybe a paternity test just to be sure.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 I was thinking the exact same thing!!!!
@@alberttang6955 The way things are heading he won't have anything to lose a few years down the road.
The efficiency of this *DaleValskov* is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work jack!!
Congratulations, *DaleValskov* I am relieved that you are out there fighting these thugs, We musttake every precaution to protect the elderly and the general public from these despicable con artists. Congratulations to You!! You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize for ensuring our security.
$60k @ 10% with a $550 a month payment will take almost 25 years to pay off. Paying a total of $160k. That woman better get a job or two!
Damn ….when you put it like that…..better him then me 😂
These guys are seriously putting words into the caller's mouth. If he's not feeling furious and betrayed, why try to make him?
Probably because he should be. He's convinced himself it's not a big deal, but it 100% is. A spouse hiding something that big and then showing no remorse over it or willingness to help make it right is a huge red flag. If you keep ignoring stuff like that in a marriage, things will not end well. You need to address them, and probably do it in the context of marriage counseling.
I call that “a dose of reality”
She spent $60,000 on a degree to be a stay-at-home mom.
and someone THAT lazy clearly did the degree to avoid working for those years too. She's a disgrace and needs to get off her arse and start contributing.
The student loan debt is something he should have known before becoming engaged!
Whats with folks rushing to have kids when they cant afford them
It’s sad that’s even a question. Bt i agree it’s a luxury to have kids right now. That’s why I’m 31 and no kids yet.
To trap each other or rush to meet this “milestone”.
Because there is a biological reality that you only have a small window to have children. If you’re in poverty Id agree but to say you’re going to wait to have kids so you can have more money could haunt you forever as the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.
A $1400 mortgage payment is more than a $1500 rent payment. The mortgage has taxes, insurance, repairs, replacements of things. When the roof,A/C, etc need replacing it will be much more than the $100 difference.
A new roof makes the house worth more as well as a new AC.
With a mortgage you get your money back if you move on after a time of equity growth.
Yea but you have equity build up through appreciation and loan pay down plus tax advantages. Rent goes up every year. They absolutely made a good decision to buy instead of rent
Home insurance and property tax are often included in the mortgage payment. Repairs and maintenance are more of a time suck than a money suck.
@@tomdixon1213 You currently have a 10-14 year wait to break even buying vs renting. If you're not sure you're staying for a decade, you rent in the current market.
That is a ton of debt to just "forget" to mention and then think she can just pay for it out of his income without telling him. Outrageous.
She needs to go back to work and help pay this down. She lied by omission. I wouldn't trust her again.
As a woman this disgusts me. She needs to get a job, pay her loans, and let the damn husband stay home with the kids!!
As a trans woman, comments like yours disgust me. This comment section is filled with misogynistic hate speech and here you are, a woman, joining the males in their vitriol. Have some self respect.
My sister and I shared a room till we were 12 and 10. My parents grew up with even more siblings sharing a bedroom, lol. We all survived
A guy I worked with was a farmers son. A farmers son with 11 siblings. I don't think he knew what a room to ones self was until we was in his 20s.
It seems to be a growing belief that it's not just nice for kids to have their own rooms, but a necessity. Private space is nice, but why does that have to be a bedroom (at least if theyre the same gender)?
My heart goes to the entire community for *DaleValskov* building up something even my grandpa can understand. This is so smart by them to launch it to shatter the doubts and fears of the common folk which is not even correct to begin with. Everyone knows the state of inflation and recession now and the way out is already in progress. Now it's just about catching the big fish
Simping is expensive these days 😂
The bigger question is it really for a student loan. Did you see the papers?
Exactly, unless you see the evidence he can’t believe anything she says
I feel that the last bull run was bolstered by all the money being printed. Major returns next bull run but I think they will be tamer in my humble opinion. A 10x on *DaleValskov* and a 15x on polygon are fair considering how much those two coins are interwov
If the mortgage payment is the same as rent how can they not afford the house? I’m confused.
property tax + maintenance cost is not included in the morgage payment and it will be nice amount of money
Tax is probably a couple hundred a month, plus insurance, another couple hundred, plus repairs of a few thousand a year. The payment ends up being closer to 2200 after all those.
Rent is the most you can pay. A mortgage is the least. There are a lot of hidden costs in a house
Why do people say that "then there's tax and insurance," just to be put out a negative attitude? I don't know what loan servicer you're using, but the overwhelming majority of mortgage payments INCLUDE the tax and insurance in the number you're paying in escrow. So yes, his $1400 mortgage payment almost certainly includes insurance and taxes. If you think or want to argue otherwise, that burden of proof is on YOU to prove before just saying it. I've had a total of 4 mortgage servicers through refinances or the lender selling the mortgage, and not once has it even come up to not escrow those costs.
So, them buying the house was not a terrible decision. If you're going to argue that taxes and insurance could go up, then that means they're going up for landlords too. Do you really think landlords would just eat that cost and not raise the rent of the tenants?
@@DarrellVanMeter they're only included with FHA loans. Traditional doesn't usually include those in the loan.
She’s proven to be liar and trust is lost. I bet also recommend him to get a paternity test as well just in case.
🎯
Lol nah the kids are his
Caller is a simp. Enjoy paying that student loan. Simpin ain’t easy bruh
I think he was just clueless.
This woman lied and then trapped this man. Despicable.
Debt doesn't seem to bother a lot of people... She could just be one of those people
Exactly my thoughts…maybe she’s just like vague with financial stuff…
Caller is kind of a space cadet.
Exactly Jeff Spicolli
6:44 It was definitely intentional. She knew damn well she should’ve told him about those loans
Thanks for your import TH-cam keyboard warrior.
@@miketheyunggod2534 you feel better now?
@@miketheyunggod2534if that’s a keyboard warrior to you , your one of the dumbest person I’ve seen
You guys are just awesome with tackling the real problems here...its not the money but the anger and resentment he is hiding. In my country Uganda 60,000usd is the annual budget of a local council. That's a lot of money. He better forget the money and start rebuilding his marriage. That's a huge sign of how the wife doesn't respect or even love her husband.
A $1,400 mortgage is not LESS then $1,500 rent. You've left off the cost of insurance, repairs, etc.,
Mortgage is more expensive than rent. A mortgage just nickels and dimes you instead of one amount. Kinda like states with no income tax who still get their money and then some.
It probably is after you factor in appreciation.
@@BrianW211 LOL. That's how they justify the bad decision. It means nothing, appreciation is not cash. Cash is king and when you can't pay the mortgage and you have to sell, you're not going to see a lot of appreciation, especially after you factor in realtor fees.
A mortgage payment includes insurance and taxes. Repairs are separate but he should have a home warranty if he was smart.
@@whosaidthat9265 not always. my mortgage payment does not include any insurance or taxes.
My husband did this when I found Dave. He did our money but when I discovered the mess, I took over the money, put us on a Dave Ramsey budget and got us out of debt in 18 months. If one spouse lies, they lose money management privileges.
If I did that to my wife I would lose a lot more privileges than just money management! 😂
@@edhcb9359 if your wife lied about money and is withholding sexual privileges, then I feel sorry for you dude. You need to gtfo that “relationship” right now
@@edhcb9359 lmbo.
True but that's why it's so important for both people to be involved in money management to avoid this all together.
@@my_slifestyle_2667 I think it is especially important for women to face the numbers ie bills. Yes, budgeting is joint and I agree that both should know what is going on. Just that women tend to have less access to money than do the men. Lots of Ramsey calls of wife clueless or excluded from money decisions.
Student loans have killed marriage for younger generations. I feel like we have to enter relationships automatically on defense because so many are starting off with large debts.
Don’t sign the loan application. Ez.
I’m a high school dropout. I paid for my daughters college and now she has a masters degree and no student loans
That’s true. My partner and I are taking care of our debts before we even start our relationship. We don’t want to begin our marriage being drowned by the anchor of debt.
It’s possible she hid it but I’m at minute 1:41 when he’s being told she lied and the caller has not said that . We have no idea if these people were having financial meetings and such or asking about each others debt . I know couples that don’t even know each others income.
I’m not recommending that but maybe you all should ask some more questions first .
See - now we are at 6:46 and the caller is saying they hadn’t even discussed the debt before . This is why you ask questions . It doesn’t change that she needs to go back to work but it does call into question all this financial infidelity schtick they wanted to paste onto this situation .
Felt they were really putting words into his mouth with this one.
He called up, wanting financial advice on how to tackle this and whether his wife should go back to work to clear this quicker.
They then came out with the “emotional aspect”, “financial infidelity” etc etc.
The guy never mentioned the emotional side once. Just wanted to know how to tackle this math problem.
John loves to judge a complex situation with 15 seconds of information. It is so irresponsible as a doctor to character assassinate people within 30 seconds of a phone call and definitively speak on something he could not possibly have all the facts on. I always regret clinking on his videos. He is always negative and, frankly, unprofessional. He comes across as a preachy, holier than thou and quick to jump to conclusions - there is no nuance or critical thinking - just quick judgement.
@@mrscmeier9570 Hello, if she would lie about 60K in student loans she will easily hide credit cards, and spend massive amounts. That is why they had to bring up the emotional side and the trust issues.
This feels so wrong. They just depict this woman as that horrible liar that she needs to hurry and give an ultimatum to… yet they don’t even know the full story. Really really bad advice. I hope he doesn’t listen to them.
Math isn't the problem. It's just a secondary issue. The problem is he's convinced himself that it's not a big deal that his wife hid something this big from him, and then shows no remorse or willingness to make it right. So he needs someone to help him realize it is. You can't just keep ignoring something like this in a marriage. If he were to do that, they'd never address the root issue and it would only fester and get worse. They should probably take it to marriage counseling and work it out.
Would a couple of paternity tests be out of the question?
I have a secret dream to become a billionaire one day and my spouse doesn’t know that secret
Dating sites should give you credit checks and financial profiles.
She lied and hid 60 thousand dollars of debt. I think he wants to believe it was not intentional. It probably was, because he seems to be a lot more worried about their finances.
Too many men are just walking ATM’s for women these days
Faxx🎉
Calls like this makes me feel it’s good to be single
Child care is outrageously expensive
He's screwed. Unless she can make enough to cover daycare and the student loan with her paycheck alone, it's a no go.
I clicked thinking she had saved 60k without him knowing
great call and response. John saw through the man's situation
Wife needs to work. Good mortgage payment
The caller is deluding himself about his own wife.
I think deep down he knows he's screwed.
The alternative is having to destroy the life he’s built. He’s not right but I can’t blame him
@@Diashi1267 No, the alternative is to confront her and ask her to go to couples therapy. That’s how true healing begins, not deluding himself about what’s going on and hoping for the best.
I don't understand the stay in an apartment thing. With a mortgage, you get to build up equity and you get to "lock in" your monthly payments (rent will go up a lot faster than taxes & insurance)
But owning a house comes with way more than that. Anything breaks and you fix it. Even if taxes don’t go up you have to pay to keep the place up.
Was I just distracted or did they not ask his career/income? I feel like that’s a super important part of the equation in determining whether their budget is out of wack. Also, I get what the wife did was screwed up but he found out two years ago, so not sure it makes sense to come out guns blazing now. That should have been a discussion two years ago. They really seemed to breeze over a lot of important points.
Also worth asking what the wife’s degree/career was. Depending on her earning potential it might financially make more sense to have her stay home with the kids than pay for day care.
How in the H can you be married to someone for 3 years and not know there was debt? Just where did you think the money was going???
Yeeh😊
These guys are ridiculous criticizing buying the home. The mortgage is less than rent, and they are gaining equity. Rent goes up every year, their mortgage won’t. These guys are way off criticizing him for owning the home. Stupid.
It’s not. Property taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses. Houses always have phantom costs. And he’s on a variable rate that went up to 10%. So he’s already paying more
Do any alpha male ever call this show? This couple will drown in debt like many other American couples. This is the first time ive see John give alpha advice and told this beta the reality of his situation. Simpin aint easy
I don't think he was simping, he was just a clueless chump that got taken advantage of.
She didn't necessarily lie to him. It sounds like they were not combined before, and when they did combine, he found out about the debt.
From $17K to $145K that's the minimum range of profit return every week I thinks it's not a bad one for me, now I have enough to pay bills and take care of my family.
I agree just reached my goal of $500k monthly trade earnings. Setting realistic goals is an essential part of trading
....
some times last week i tried trading all alon but ended up loosing $3k
How can someone know a professional broker when legit once are hard to find this days
celia dullpher. understanding of market indicators is impressive. She knows exactly when to enter and exit trades for maximum profit. her siignals are top notch
celia dullpher. understanding of market indicators is impressive. She knows exactly when to enter and exit trades for maximum profit. her siignals are top notch...
Oh, yes, the old 60,000 for partying at school to rack up the body count and then marry a guy like this and lie to him
this isnt even half the damage yet. Wait till he pays off her debt and then divorces him. She will get the house, the kids, his assets, his pension and a lifetime of alimony payyments. She hit the jackpot with this guy.
Exactly sir
@@boston312 as unelectedleader said she not only racked up the body count in college she is continuing to rack it up and tosleep with bad boy Chad and Tyrone while this good provider guy is slaving himself at work to pay off her debt, shes cheating on him and when he pays off her debt she will divorce him and take all his stuff smh... Never get married boys stay single
Why do people do this, I see it a lot more in women than men. Go to college and get some worthless degree if any, rack up debt to just stay home. 🥺🔫
I see it a lot more in men. My ex husband constantly hid debt, shopping addiction etc.
To be honest I really really underestimated how much work having kids is I thought it would be easy to manage both but the reality isn’t. I’m lucky because my husband was a stay at home dad for a year because that was important to him so I never get the “what have you even done today “ but I got to say 90% of the time I’m very jealous of how little he has to do in his work day. And yes I would consider my Batchelor degree of Economics worthless, the only time it’s paid off is in understanding what’s going on and timing our investments.
Amen. Preach it loudly. You go to college for years, rack up huge debts, then plan to stay at home. Just find a sucker to marry and pay it off. Bet her mom said "Youz Married Now" let your husband pay it off. She' your responsibility now.
Mother in law can babysit the kids while her partner works to pay off?
Mother in law probably still works full time and isn’t available to watch kids during the day
Also it’s not he mother in law’s responsibility to watch the kid all day.
@@arthrodea True but daughter and her on the loan and she may be willing to assist.
The husband clearly doesn't care she lied about it so why push it, it's his prerogative and what he has to live with.
It is obvious he is a whipped simp.
Exactly John told the caller he didn’t trust his wife like 5 times for no reason
Of course he cares, how could he not care about such a massive deception? He just doesn't sound visibly upset cos it happened 2 years ago so it's in the past.
Better make sure those kids are yours too buddy.
I don’t feel she hid it or lied to him. They just combined finances and she didn’t think about it. She just rolled it into what already happening. The issue is he never asked her if she had debt. He just assumed she didn’t. So this is on both of them. That being said, she really does need to contribute to the finances. If she cannot find a job that covers her loan plus child care she at least needs to babysit or do something part time during hours that he is home so they don’t have to pay for child care.
It's called lying by omission. "She" had to setup the auto debit from "their" bank account. so she absolutely didn't forget she had the debt. He discovered it at the bank and questioned the auto debits.
Poor guy got played
they will do anything to replace daddy with a husband
Also childcare for two kids could be more or equal to what she can bring in from work
no lol. use the grandma or the aunt cheaper
She could babysit other people's children, that way she wouldn't need any childcare for her own kids. Depending on how busy she managed to make herself with looking after children and how much she negotiated to be paid for it she could make enough to pay off the loan in 2 years, maybe 3.
Also, depending on what the degree is for she could get a stay at home job with it. If it's more of a hands on job then obviously she can't do that, but she can probably find another way to monetize that education.
@@sanityssakearts ya 5 kids brings in 500-1k a month per each kid or charge 150 per day something cheap or get licensed and charge a lot more.
As long as she makes more than $14/hr, she will be bringing in more than what childcare costs. She needs to use her degree, make $30/hr and go back to work for 2-3 years until this debt is paid off. That’s about how long it would take her if her paycheck went to daycare & the student loan debt.
@@mle011 Lol, childcare for 2 kids is $14/hr? I know most of Daves listeners live in flyover country, but that's $3k+/mo here...more like $30/gr gross pay to break even on that.
Integrity and kindness are the most important qualities in a partner. She has shown neither.
He didn’t see this in the monthly budget?
Many men don’t look at the budget in traditional marriages. Usually the woman handles most of the money because she pays the bills and calls the handyman
Hope he signed a prenuptial agreement before marrying her.
we already know the answer to this. This man has no backbone even if his life depended on it
Paying 1500 to someone for rent vs 1400 for a mortgage is a no brainer move. Because instead of paying off someone else’s investment your paying off your own. And it’s not costing you a penny more.
Until something breaks lmao
NEVER co-sign a loan for or with anyone. Ever👎
This is a big deal… she needs to get her ass back to work! Work during the day, deliver pizzas at night as Dave would say if this were the husband who hid the debt.
"Just bought a house because it was cheaper to do so than renting."
This is just the beginning
I'd be divorced so fast. Not because of the debt, but because of the lying
One reason she may not have told him, was that student loans seem to be so normalised in the US, that for many, it is assumed everyone has one?
Regardless though, when talking about budget matters, that should have been laid on the table.
@donaldjohnson-ow3kq Sure, in your situation probably deliberate. I was just proposing that PERHAPS it may not have been a deliberate deception. By the same token, it sure could have been. Your own experience is not necessarily universal to everyone. When you are making it out that this has to be deliberate, is the kind of attitude we see on these threads like "all women are liars, cheats, irresponsible, etc". Some can be just clueless, not deliberately malicious. Plenty of men are irresponsible and or liars, but I do not paint out all men to be the same, even though my ex-husband was one.
@@davinasquirrel7672 couldn't agree more. It could be that student loan debt was so normalized to her. Not disclosing it after so many years together and married is beyond odd to me, like how did this not come up in any conversation?? But to think she was malicious and their marriage is a dumpster fire may not at all be accurate.
That said, she needs to be responsible and get a job until they reach their financial goals. Not just the $60k debt but 6 months of savings now that they own a home!
@@juliapush8296 Agreed.
She totally did it intentionally and maliciously. Listen how the guy says he found it after they moved their finances to a different institution and he saw these automatic withdrawals and then he had to confront her about it she lied she hid it it was a 150 percent intentional
Some women are like that. My female next-door neighbor and my sister-in-law both creep me out.
How could she think it would be ok for her.. or even possible to be a stay at home mom when she had such a dept ? She just dumped over her crap on the husband and expected him to manage it all? There is no reason to be a stay at home mom with just one kid.
Daycare costs are INSANE so even if she goes back to work, she may not net much/anything….because there are also costs associated with working….cars, travel, work clothing, etc. instead she can babysit a couple other people’s kids in their home and bring in $500/week or more.
You have to be careful, anything goes wrong , even a scratch and homeowners insurance won't pay because they say you are running a business, same with accepting anything for gov ng a regular ride, sadly I learned the hard way in my youth. And be leery of friends, neighbors or even family you think would never sue you, money unfortunately does bad things to people sometimes
Your first mistake was as a man is calling the Ramsey network for any relationship type of advice. They adhere to a strict Christian doctrine, they can't give you an objective point of view. Second and most importantly, they will most of the time side with the woman or as Dave likes to call them "princesses". Had you called a network/pod cast that specializes in men's issues and men's perspective they would have told you to begin the process of documentation. Anyone whom you are engaged in a legal contract with (marriage) that is willing to lie to you about large sums of cash cannot be trusted. You made the critical error of entering into a legally binding contract (enforced by the government) with someone whom you have romantic feelings for. This isn't 1940, 1963, 1984 this is 2024 marriage does not retain its historical importance, particularly for men. You complicated it further by creating a child with this person, the liar. You wont recover from this, that isn't how men are wired. Start positioning yourself for divorce now and you can then work on creating a great life for yourself and your biological children. Good luck.
Divorved, he'll be on the hook for 18 years of CS, and since wifey doesn't work, maintenance support as well. He is going to pay one way or the other. it is the way of things for weak men.
How did you buy a house and not have both your credit examined like a colonoscopy?
He found out she lied to him but continued to have children with her AND get into more financial difficulties with an untrustworthy woman. Geeeezzzzzz🙄
She should find an at home job to do to pay for the student loans.
John is annoying.
He makes a lot of assumptions & goes straight into psychological mode
This is a financial show man. You cant know everyones life from a 2 min intro summary.
Rent is the max you’ll pay but a mortgage is the minimum you’ll pay.
$1,500 rent vs $1,400 mortgage but what about maintenance/repairs, taxes, & insurance?
Yeah, but the property is building up equity. So, I think he made the right move in buying.
@@Aki_Lesbrinco you don’t build equity immediately after closing on the property. The first 20 years of a mortgage is mostly interest.
If you do the honest math: a home may cost 2x or more than the price after factoring in all the sunken costs.
Dude, it’s also equity. Got it buddy?
@@Miggy2222hahaha!
Safe bet this isn't the 1st or last time his wife is deceives him.
It’s almost like these guys are in the business of ending marriages
Ayo whaaaaat?? I tell my fiance everythingggg and we're getting married in August 100% transparent about goals and dreams and the future.
This woman straight up lies about her debts and I'd be SOOOO upset if I was him. He sounds defeated 😢
The guy is asking for financial advice, not the emotional aspect of the problem. That's not why he called. I hope they can get their act together and actually help people instead of veering off topic.
Dude needs to keep an eye out on his credit, because if she will lie about this kind of stuff then she will lie about spending 25K on fancy designer clothes. "What this old thing?" Code for I bought it and hid from you and have no plans on telling you how much I spent on it.
I just hate how John brings gloom & doom. He can afford this house- it's $100 cheaper than the rent he was paying. He wants to open up wounds & this happened 2 years ago & they have moved on facing that debt. Give the guy a break- he entered a marriage with a lie & he's dealing with it- give him some grace!
John 100% right on this one. They can’t afford the house. Taxes and mortgage insurance are extra monthly expenses plus phantom costs. Also said his variable rate went up from 2-10%. And the dude is trying to deal with these problems without dealing with actual problem. You can tell he never actually confronted his wife about lying. And until he does his wife is gonna continue living a false reality and he will continue dealing with the consequences and live in misery.
Anybody hear the graduation speech by the Kansas City kicker who congratulated the ladies on achieving their degrees and suggested they go out and be wives? Sounds like this lady is living out that scenario. She could've saved herself and husband a lot of cost by just skipping college to begin with.
It definitely doesn't make a lot of sense for a woman to get a degree she has no plans on using. I know a woman who got a degree, I believe it was in nursing, with plans to get married and never actually work as a nurse. I don't remember if it was supposed to be a fallback if her husband passed away prematurely, or if it was a thing of "bring something to the marriage," but whatever it was it was definitely a waste of time and money, cause she's in her 60's, has never once used that degree professionally, and has too many health problems to use it now, even if it wasn't a 30-40 year old degree.
@sanityssakearts1416 I know SO many women like this. Friend's mom, when I graduated nursing, said "oh, I'm a nurse, too!" Asked where she worked, said she never did. Graduated, got married, and 30 years later had never worked a day!! Nursing is PERFECT for a family woman, too. When our kids were little I worked every second weekend, hubs did M-F. Never needed daycare.
You can be a wife and still work, especially if you’ve taken out $60k in loans.
Bro...Are you safe?
Maybe she didn’t do it intentionally. Maybe she doesn’t take money that seriously which is wrong but I don’t believe she lied. It’s perhaps time to have a heart to heart conversation with your wife about your current financial state and really explain your fears, concerns and your vision for the family and asked her to help in it. And You may want to get someone else like a counselor or pastor involved to show how serious you are about it. Your wife, the mother of your children is not a monster, she’ll understand.
His wife is a deadbeat. He really messed up.
He needs to seriously think about divorce now because it’s just gonna get harder every year.
It’s hilarious that he thinks owning a home is cheaper than renting 😅😅
“Why did you buy that house even if it’s cheaper than rent” well cause it’s cheaper is it that hard to understand
It's not cheaper. The mortgage is cheaper, which i actually doubt to begin with.
my dude is lost
What is the student loan debt FOR? Presumably, student loan debt should be to learn an INCOME-producing trade . . .
Y'all, it does not matter how much in love you are or how much trust you have, you go through each aspect of your partner's finances and them yours before you even consider getting married. You also must be in agreement on your financial and family goals.
hopefully i can remember to myself to check a woman credit before I get her pregnant bc ill d*mned if I deal with $60k of debt that's not mine
How did he not know this? Did he know she got a degree? What is really happening here?