Yeah, no. Because my deadline lock in starts only 6 hours before deadline. But before that I procrastinate by finishing all the other task that are not due date.
I am the most productive person on the planet when I've procrastinated to the point that there's almost no time left. I cannot believe how much I can get done on a harsh deadline! Pure focus and speed and I'm actually able to priorize in a logical way. But somehow I'm incapable of being that way when I'm not under pressure. It's so frustrating.
There is one big exception to this ☝️ if I have a really big important job that is time sensitive, and stressing me out; then I will suddenly find myself very busy doing every single one of those other little jobs that are all now just important enough to help me not even have to think about that one important stressful job.
I remember years ago watching a TED talk about procrastination, and the explanation fits really well for this. He described it as inside people's minds we have a monkey that makes us want to do all the stupid/unimportant things, a sleeping panic monster that scares the monkey when a task is due plus our rational brain. But when a task has no due date, the monkey has free reign.
I literally do this all the time. If something isn't due by a very close date I just won't do it until it's like a day to a week from now. Even when it is a day from now I'll still put it off until the very last possible moment to be successful.
Pretty much. UNLESS there's something very important but boring thing I NEED to do then these tiny tasks are very fun little detours and ways to get sense of accomplishment while ignoring the menacingly approaching deadline.
Exactly, so much stuff needs to be done ASAP will never get around to "whenever" tasks. Like focusing on food that expires soon while thinks with long dates sit there until they to pit that description 😅
But never tell me: "Come on!!! Do it asap, what are you waiting for?🤷🏻♀️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻" Because you are killing the only possibility (even if it was some months later😅).
This is so true! I took some pictures of my sis in law with her dogs, and she straight up told me "no rush" on getting the edits back to her. I told her to expect the best raw and some edited that day. "No rush" while polite, just tells me you never want these pictures 😂
I have this conversation the time with people; they say "no rush" so I always say "we're doing this now" which gets a flustered kind of reaction, maybe it's a British thing, but I have to take the lead over them and my own brain at the same time every time lol
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
My therapist is Dr. You Tube-Shorts (cause I can't focus for longer than 2 minutes) These videos have helped me more than any chat therapy I've ever had. I can relate to it all and laugh about it at the same time. 👍🏼
Get a grip, guys. Set your priorities and ask for help if you can't manage your everyday tasks. Your therapist will not help you with practical things. It is your RESPONSIBILITY.
This happened to work me at work all year! I would ask for deadlines and was constantly told “whenever” then was barked at for not having it done in time. 😂🙃
This is so real. I keep trying to explain to my husband that when giving our ADHD teenager chores, he should give him a short list (3 things max) and give him a “due date” that is relatively soon with a consequence for not finishing and preferably a reward for finishing. More than 3 items is overwhelming. Too far of a due date or “whenever” makes you not want to do it. Consequence and reward helps with motivation. I know because I’m the same way. But my husband just doesn’t get it and thinks he can “teach” our kid to be “more normal”. 🙄
@@emilydivis6369 I’m working on getting it through his stubborn skull. He thinks that since our kid will have to live and work in a neurotypical world, he should learn to function in that world. That’s all well and good, but his idea of “function in that world” is basically to mask all neurodivergent traits. For me, it’s to teach him things like breaking large tasks in to small, manageable pieces, giving yourself deadlines if there are none built-in, etc. He’s in IT and I’ve been telling him that his brain and our kid’s brain run different operating systems. He can’t just suddenly make it seem like he’s running the same OS as the majority when he’s not. He will always be wired a little differently. I’m slowly getting through to my husband. Having him come to therapy sessions and hear it from the therapist helps. He just needs to hear it several times for it to sink in because he has a head like a rock, lol.
You are an awesome parent! 😲❤ Two things that you could do even better if you want to: 1. Occasionally give him a choice between which chores he gets to do, this can help with motivation a crazy amount. 2. If he can be trusted to come to you on a regular basis in a timely manner and ask what chores you need done, then wait until he does this instead of giving him chores whenever you otherwise would. Having "consequences" for not having my chores done always just kicked my demand avoidance into high gear. And when I am actually not busy doing or thinking about something else, and I go and ask if there's anything that anyone needs done or needs help with; this is the only time that I can actually remember a list as long as 3 things, and it's also when I have the most free energy to get things done efficiently and quickly.
I make so many checklists for myself because I can't rely on my brain to keep tabs. Once it's out of sight, it's completely out of mind! I don't check the checkboxes, even though I draw the checkboxes. It's hilarious realizing this, but at least the things on the list are way more likely to get done. The trick is to leave the notebook Out and OPEN in a space you pass by frequently, and leave a pen right next to it in case you need to modify the list. Sometimes when I pass it, I also doodle on it. At least I'm looking at it and reading it, too, instead of avoiding it! *Do not* make lists on your phone. You'll just start opening irrelevant apps and distract yourself, having the opposite effect. The doodling on the notebook is fine in general. It decorates it, and makes it more important to you. Well, at least for me! Everybody is different.
I use the glass in the kitchen door. Dry board markers wipe off easily. It's in a place I pass several times a day and can't miss it. Appointments, chores, extra shopping are all listed until done. Good for messages for others too. Your dinner's in the dog/don't use all the milk. Whatever.
@@michellebyrom6551 I have a small (Family Guy lol) dry erase board that is on the fridge and eye level for me specifically. Without it nothing would get done.
😂😂 This just reminded me that I have a box that I have moved to at least 6 different houses/apartments that I wrote in big red letters *Take care of this stuff NOW* in 2003
LOL me too!!! I have "DO NOW / TODAY" notepads all over my computer and in all sorts of folders, lists of stuff I needed to do and never did from YEARS ago
This is your sign to take care of this now. Either organize the box by Monday or throw it out. If you haven't touched it since 2003, nothing essential is in there.
This is why writing actual physical lists is important - WITH check boxes so you can tick them off and neutralise the negative feelings of demand with a tangible reward. I have a white board, which I look at every 6 months - 2 years....
I am trying that! 😂 The problem I run into is all the little tasks I realize needs doing before I can actually get to the task I am really trying to do! And that life gets in the way - all the other daily crap that needs doing. (lol! This gets in the way before all the "little" prerequisite task related to the one I want to get done.) Then you get back to the board, you were busy all that time with tasks that had to be completed, but you did not put them on the list... So writing them down after the fact to check them off just makes me feel worse. Like something is telling you "you will never get it done, Mwha-ha-ha". Now trough in a bit of perfectionism - nothing gets done completely and everything is a mess.
Can I just tell you how much I love that you use ASL numbers in your videos? ASL is one of my favorite things ever, and I’m really happy you use ASL in your videos.
I feel this... deep within me... as I look at the walls with putty on them, mostly sanded... 5 gallons on paint in my kitchen... but the floor needs to be mopped and I need to go get another 5 gallon jug of water for my cooler and the damn car needs a bath... but I'm tired again and I need to .... oh F it... I'll try again tomorrow..
Well, you know what they say: "Tomorrow is that mystical place where 99% of human motivation, productivity and achievement lives." The problem for us is not being able to focus on the search long enough to find the bloody place! 😅
This is so true! My husband gets annoyed because I will stop what I'm doing to do something random "that can wait for later". He doesn't understand that I'm thinking about it right now, so I'll do it right now. Things that can wait until later will never get done.
XD You sound like me LMAO I love doing pace work, but my body won't let me do much. I like sweeping and doing the dishes too. I swear my body doesn't want me to do any work and play games instead and nobody seems to understand that. I try to do a little at a time, but I always end up falling asleep :( I miss gymnastics. Ballet is alright and cheerleading sucks lol Especially since I have glasses. I had braces back then too which made it worse. I just had to be a flier. I'm guessing that was a test from the Universe to stop me from being scared of heights and if so, I passed, but I still hate cheerleading (and life) lol
Yeah, I'm hovering around 2000 myself... Some are 10 years old now. Some have been removed and I always have a pang of FOMO wishing I knew what I missed.
Like the non existing lamp in my entry hallway. If I open the door to my bathroom, I have enough light to barely see. It would be easier if I just put up a light in the hallway itself, but my brain have realized I'm never gonna get that done before moving out, so I've just accepted that 😂😂😭😭
Watch Ken D Berry MD, it may help you, actually it will help a lot, a heads up, stop eating all carbs, all sugar, fake and real sugar, l am not in a brain fog any more, l up butter, oh, cut out seed oils which is what all restaurants use, l but butter on my meat to eat
Me before sleep: i want to sweep, fold clothes, and clean my room Me when i wake up: *do everything but the one i said i want to do* Then randomly, 3am motivation WILL hit
3am motivation, but my husband is asleep and everything I want/need to do is in our bedroom. Drives me batty! Then in the morning he asks why I didn’t sleep. 😭
This is so true. I force deadlines on myself for even small or mundane tasks because they absolutely will not get done otherwise. It's also how I force myself to do even reoccurring things, like cleaning. Apartments getting out of hand? Time to invite my friends to a dinner party at the end of the week. It may be stressful, it might not get cleaned until just before they get here, but by Jove it will get done.
😂 we do excel in making magic happen! And it will literally be moments before guests arrive. All “ta-da!” Look what I did! 🎉 adhd magic is what I like to call it! 😊
@Emiliapocalypse it's his numbers in the first few seconds. 21 in sign language pretty much looks like finger guns. There's quite a few of these where he signs the Part #
I used to tell people with ADHD it was all a load of rubbish and that everyone deals with these "bad habbits". Turns out I thought this because I have ADHD
My husband and I are both autistic. We have developed a "fix" for this. We pretend that we are contractors and we write work orders for each other WITH due dates. The work orders are organized by day/week/month and hierarchy of importance. We make a game of it, and it's fun for us. Our flavors of ASD are different, so we highlight one another's strengths in the tasks. Everyone wins ♡
can you puh-leeez tell me more? I think we are barely on top of the resentments caused by unmet requests so if one tries to address something the other can always reply well, when are YOU going to xyz. we need help
@judymiller5154 I'm not a therapist by any means. But my opinion is that if two humans are committed to the journey, every single thing is fixable and work-out-able. Heart to heart communication over head to head. And a reminder to you both, YOU ARE DOING EXCEPTIONALLY WELL!
Have a "Not To Do List" just like you have a written "To Do" list. Write all the things down and stick it on the fridge or something and forget about it. It's there when you need it, but not a mental load on you. This has helped me sooooo much!
I've got a handle on this one. Here... 1. When there's no urgency or importance to the task it will rarely ever get done. Budgeting priorities also can knock some things into the never getting done category too. 2. If the task is important but not urgent, then I make a list of these items as they come up and then recategorize them based on what stores I need to go to to acquire what's needed to complete the task. Once I have the items, the project parts go into specific bags and placed right next to the project, so that all I have to do is grab my tool bag or hunt for the tools required to do the job. 3. My wife has learned that when I do this, I need a task immediately that I don't want to do. What happens is I end up procrastinating on what she asked me to do and suddenly am busy completing all the tasks I actually prepared for while I'm thinking about how to do whatever task I was asked to do that had more urgency. I know it's fucked up and why but this is how we get more things done in a day than I otherwise would normally. It takes weeks and sometimes months to do, but when it happens we save money on fuel, food, whatever I was actually buying (because sometimes shopping around in advance online is cheaper) and we save more time too because I make a day out of task completion. But then the motivation completely disappears the next day and I don't want to be bothered with anything and will actively avoid chores. But at least a laundry list of tasks that otherwise wouldn't get done has been completed in record time.
Wow dude - now that is problem solving at its finest! Working with "what you have available to you" to get things done. I find it very nice that your wife understands and knows how to help you "hack" it. Kudos to you both!
Don't forget people telling you it's just an excuse for being lazy, or people who say we all have a little bit of ADHD, and my personal favorite, people saying "OMG, I'm so ADHD!" if they forgot to do something or if they were being loud/ being energetic.
I used to be one of those people saying I was acting ADHD. Until one day my mom casually said "Oh yeah, the pediatrician diagnosed you with ADHD when you were 5 years old. I called BS!" 😱 LITERALLY 20 YEARS OF WONDERING WHY I COULDN'T GET MY SHIT TOGETHER & WONDERINF WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME...... and all that time, I had ADHD and no one ever told me. 😭
"people saying "OMG, I'm so ADHD!" if they forgot to do something or if they were being loud/ being energetic." "Oh, honey; you wish that's what it was."
Having too much time on my hands having left work literally led me to my ADHD diagnosis. I've studied a couple of qualifications which each took years to complete (one still ongoing) it's the lack of immediate gratification that's the killer 🙄😔
Go in the kitchen to cook then notice that cabinets and dishwasher need to be wiped down, work on that a bit, then notice some dishes need washed, do some of that, then see fridge needs cleaning, and so on and so on....two hours later remember about cooking!
Yes! My husband will send me into the kitchen to make him a cup of soup, and he will show up in the doorway 45 minutes later staring at me like... where is my soup? "Oh! Is that what I came in here to do? Oops...."
@@mandimoore4946 LOL story of my life... Me doing anything: "Why am I so hungry?" Solution to this chronic recurring problem - hire someone to feed me 👍🏻
When I'm overwhelmed by my To Do list, I just delete it and create a new one. Not an ideal strategy, but better than giving up completely on maintaining a To Do list.
💯 i hate it so much. But then when i have a due date for tasks i start pressuring myself and then mentally lock up until it's too late. Unless it's a task envolving an interest, then maybe i get it done early and perfectly. Except at work. At work im annoyingly particular about how things are done. So it takes me a bit but the store and dishes get done as close to perfect as possible lol. All of it is annoying.
Not me buying paint supplies to get my bedroom sorted... they've been sitting on the floor for two months 💀 maybe if i trip over them enough times I'll get my butt in gear
Well I bought an entire vinyl floor to put down in my living room ... that was like 6 months ago.. no... that was August/September and we're in May. 😮💨
The thing I love about this is that he feels the need to feel or fidget with everything he needs to do. He flicks the light switch over and over, shoves his fingers into the hole, rubs the badly painted wall, etc.
I used to be in a camp for 2 or 6 weeks in a year and we had to sleep in tents but had an old house for cooking and for the bathrooms (weren’t allowed to sleep in there because of ‚Brandschutz‘). Once or twice in these 2 or 4 week stays I got bored and walked around the whole place with a small set of tools and whenever I saw screws I made sure that they were really tight. Now the camps don’t take place anymore cause the Bundeswehr (military in Germany) said it’s now too old and not even save for cooking and washing but I always liked it there. I also really enjoyed that it was always something (fun) to do like taking care of the nature around or little workshops and we didn’t use our phones the whole time. Sometimes I texted my friends and family good night or we took some selfies but that was it.
And one of these days you'll somehow develop MONSTROUS productivity for a single 24-hour period and somehow manage to get every single task done. But you only get one of these days every year! So you have to wait until everything is terrible to really make it worth it.
It's interesting that the sign for 21 is like a finger gun for a 21 gun salute (slightly inaccurate due to a finger gun being a pistol and a 21 gun salute being comprised of 7 rifles) but still an interesting memory tool. A blind YT creator (and advocate and children's books author/illustrator) Paul Castle, is teaching braille with his own memory aids using tennis balls and a muffin tin, it's fascinating
The way I got around this was setting my own due date for as soon as I possibly could do it and putting it as most important in my brain. I was able to get all my homework done as soon as I got it by doing this and never forgot an assignment. Idk how it works or if it works for anyone else but that's how I got around this problem
I just calculated how much force it would take to crush a human vertically to see how strong a character is for a video and I doubt that video's ever even gonna be filmed.
Mine is writing shopping lists. I'll write them out, put them near the door so I won't forget them on my way out...and I do remember it....once I'm already in the store trying to remember what I need. Do I remember the important items? Ofc I do. Once I'm at home putting away the shopping, realizing I forgot it. I now write lists on my hand. In this economy, who can afford more than a handful of items at a time, anyways?
Can't get thing done because "why do that now?" is something people call procrastinating but for people with adhd it's like if you wrote things down on a grocery list and then you forgot the list at home
yes!!! hubby stops by a friend's house after work to lend a hand within days of being aware of a need. yet our master bath remains unusable after 5 years of starting the remodel.
Remember! You’re an amazing person! You deserve love and attention! You deserve happiness! You’re beautiful! You’re handsome! Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise! You’re not weak! You’re strong! You can do this! Your body is perfect! You don’t need anything or anyone to change who you are! You are enough! You deserve better! You are an absolute treasure! You deserve greatness in your life
Imagine your brain is an unorganized email inbox and every thought is an email. If you don't flag things to action by a certain date, it'll just get lost in the abyss of bullshit 🙃
😂I love my ADHD! It’s an excuse I use to be an Avoidant/Antisocial happy detached lazy ass😂 I’m avoiding cleaning right now, so my son will do it instead lol
😂😂😂 I started cleaning my basement yesterday for the first time in 6 years. I go down there every couple days to do laundry, meanwhile dodging spiderwebs
This is crazy. This is exactly what happens to me constantly but only while watching this short it occured to me that I now know and understand why my husband hardly ever fixes anything around the house, which is very annoying for me. Thank you for explaining.
This is spot on but for me I lose sleep over the things that need to be fixed. Once I fix them I can finally get a good nice sleep. It really sucks, so stressful
"Do you hate me?"
I felt that on every level
Same
Yup
"With every cell in my body"
Yes same 😭
Yeah
The struggle is real . but deadline mode. Ho ho ho that is when we lock in.
Yep!
Yeah, no. Because my deadline lock in starts only 6 hours before deadline. But before that I procrastinate by finishing all the other task that are not due date.
I am the most productive person on the planet when I've procrastinated to the point that there's almost no time left. I cannot believe how much I can get done on a harsh deadline! Pure focus and speed and I'm actually able to priorize in a logical way. But somehow I'm incapable of being that way when I'm not under pressure. It's so frustrating.
I have to create pressure and false deadlines to get anything done at all lmao
I totally feel that! @@LoveJoyPeace4612
The worst part is the haunting guilt of having not done the task you know you need to do
💥 yep
Yes 😢😢😢😢😢
Ohh yes 😢😢😢😢
And still not doing it ._.
Yes😩
“Do you hate me?” Dude! SO relatable! My brain DEFINITELY hates me!
This is so real, never give me task and tell me to do it whenever, you're gonna sit there in 2 years still waiting for it lmao😂
100%. Yup. Got lots of people waiting on me for 2 years.
I started fixing my shed roof 4 years ago and keep forgetting to finish it, I literally have the rest of the supplies in the shed
And my dad hates it when I take action to try and prevent it
There is one big exception to this ☝️ if I have a really big important job that is time sensitive, and stressing me out; then I will suddenly find myself very busy doing every single one of those other little jobs that are all now just important enough to help me not even have to think about that one important stressful job.
@@crweirdo8961 lol yes... my husband will be like "why are you filling out paperwork from two years ago when you have this HUGE project due???" 🤦🏼♀️🙄
This is the most relatable thing. The worst ever is having too much time
“No due date” is the same as “completely unimportant, you can, should, and are highly encouraged to avoid doing this at all costs” 😂😂
I remember years ago watching a TED talk about procrastination, and the explanation fits really well for this. He described it as inside people's minds we have a monkey that makes us want to do all the stupid/unimportant things, a sleeping panic monster that scares the monkey when a task is due plus our rational brain. But when a task has no due date, the monkey has free reign.
Right!!!😮😮
@@darkdragoness5Ted talks make you dumber
I literally do this all the time. If something isn't due by a very close date I just won't do it until it's like a day to a week from now. Even when it is a day from now I'll still put it off until the very last possible moment to be successful.
Pretty much. UNLESS there's something very important but boring thing I NEED to do then these tiny tasks are very fun little detours and ways to get sense of accomplishment while ignoring the menacingly approaching deadline.
A flower pot (filled with dirt) on my balcony once fell and broke. It stayed like this for six months.
"No specific due date"
Rookie mistake. Never tell me not to rush or ill never do it 😂
Exactly, so much stuff needs to be done ASAP will never get around to "whenever" tasks. Like focusing on food that expires soon while thinks with long dates sit there until they to pit that description 😅
But never tell me: "Come on!!! Do it asap, what are you waiting for?🤷🏻♀️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻"
Because you are killing the only possibility (even if it was some months later😅).
@@music2012pink OMG 🤦🏻♀️ definitely
This is so true! I took some pictures of my sis in law with her dogs, and she straight up told me "no rush" on getting the edits back to her. I told her to expect the best raw and some edited that day. "No rush" while polite, just tells me you never want these pictures 😂
I have this conversation the time with people; they say "no rush" so I always say "we're doing this now" which gets a flustered kind of reaction, maybe it's a British thing, but I have to take the lead over them and my own brain at the same time every time lol
I remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
Yes sure of mycologist Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms did a total reset for me.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
This channel is better therapy for me than the therapist I actually pay for. It is good to feel seen after a lifetime of struggle. Thank you.
I love my therapist, too, but I feel you. For so long, I thought I was just lazy or something.
My therapist is Dr. You Tube-Shorts (cause I can't focus for longer than 2 minutes) These videos have helped me more than any chat therapy I've ever had. I can relate to it all and laugh about it at the same time. 👍🏼
Same
Yes and know I’m alone. I like to be with my kind😂
Get a grip, guys. Set your priorities and ask for help if you can't manage your everyday tasks. Your therapist will not help you with practical things. It is your RESPONSIBILITY.
This happened to work me at work all year! I would ask for deadlines and was constantly told “whenever” then was barked at for not having it done in time. 😂🙃
This is so real.
I keep trying to explain to my husband that when giving our ADHD teenager chores, he should give him a short list (3 things max) and give him a “due date” that is relatively soon with a consequence for not finishing and preferably a reward for finishing.
More than 3 items is overwhelming.
Too far of a due date or “whenever” makes you not want to do it.
Consequence and reward helps with motivation.
I know because I’m the same way. But my husband just doesn’t get it and thinks he can “teach” our kid to be “more normal”. 🙄
Does your husband understand that ADHD brains are literally physically different from neurotypical brains?
@@emilydivis6369 I’m working on getting it through his stubborn skull.
He thinks that since our kid will have to live and work in a neurotypical world, he should learn to function in that world.
That’s all well and good, but his idea of “function in that world” is basically to mask all neurodivergent traits.
For me, it’s to teach him things like breaking large tasks in to small, manageable pieces, giving yourself deadlines if there are none built-in, etc.
He’s in IT and I’ve been telling him that his brain and our kid’s brain run different operating systems. He can’t just suddenly make it seem like he’s running the same OS as the majority when he’s not. He will always be wired a little differently.
I’m slowly getting through to my husband. Having him come to therapy sessions and hear it from the therapist helps. He just needs to hear it several times for it to sink in because he has a head like a rock, lol.
You are an awesome parent! 😲❤
Two things that you could do even better if you want to:
1. Occasionally give him a choice between which chores he gets to do, this can help with motivation a crazy amount.
2. If he can be trusted to come to you on a regular basis in a timely manner and ask what chores you need done, then wait until he does this instead of giving him chores whenever you otherwise would.
Having "consequences" for not having my chores done always just kicked my demand avoidance into high gear. And when I am actually not busy doing or thinking about something else, and I go and ask if there's anything that anyone needs done or needs help with; this is the only time that I can actually remember a list as long as 3 things, and it's also when I have the most free energy to get things done efficiently and quickly.
@Annie_Annie__ keep up the good work ❤❤
Like therapist Mickey Atkinson says "you can't behavior train neurodivergence, you CAN adjust your environment and accommodate "
I make so many checklists for myself because I can't rely on my brain to keep tabs. Once it's out of sight, it's completely out of mind!
I don't check the checkboxes, even though I draw the checkboxes.
It's hilarious realizing this, but at least the things on the list are way more likely to get done.
The trick is to leave the notebook Out and OPEN in a space you pass by frequently, and leave a pen right next to it in case you need to modify the list. Sometimes when I pass it, I also doodle on it. At least I'm looking at it and reading it, too, instead of avoiding it!
*Do not* make lists on your phone. You'll just start opening irrelevant apps and distract yourself, having the opposite effect. The doodling on the notebook is fine in general. It decorates it, and makes it more important to you. Well, at least for me! Everybody is different.
I use the glass in the kitchen door. Dry board markers wipe off easily. It's in a place I pass several times a day and can't miss it. Appointments, chores, extra shopping are all listed until done. Good for messages for others too. Your dinner's in the dog/don't use all the milk. Whatever.
@@michellebyrom6551 I have a small (Family Guy lol) dry erase board that is on the fridge and eye level for me specifically. Without it nothing would get done.
😂😂 This just reminded me that I have a box that I have moved to at least 6 different houses/apartments that I wrote in big red letters *Take care of this stuff NOW* in 2003
LOL me too!!! I have "DO NOW / TODAY" notepads all over my computer and in all sorts of folders, lists of stuff I needed to do and never did from YEARS ago
This is your sign to take care of this now. Either organize the box by Monday or throw it out. If you haven't touched it since 2003, nothing essential is in there.
I assign some items to a list I call, "Things to Do When I'm Dead".
Gives me a perverse sense of satisfaction. Recommend! 😊
Describe the stuff in it and define what "take care of" means.
It's too vague for your brain to decide if it can take care of it.
Wait now I need to know what is in that box!!! 😮 at this point it’s a time capsule. 🎉 Please share, pathetic or awesome it’ll still be interesting. ❤
That crumple... nailed it! Without a timeline, it won't get done😂
This is why writing actual physical lists is important - WITH check boxes so you can tick them off and neutralise the negative feelings of demand with a tangible reward.
I have a white board, which I look at every 6 months - 2 years....
I am trying that! 😂
The problem I run into is all the little tasks I realize needs doing before I can actually get to the task I am really trying to do!
And that life gets in the way - all the other daily crap that needs doing. (lol! This gets in the way before all the "little" prerequisite task related to the one I want to get done.)
Then you get back to the board, you were busy all that time with tasks that had to be completed, but you did not put them on the list... So writing them down after the fact to check them off just makes me feel worse. Like something is telling you "you will never get it done, Mwha-ha-ha".
Now trough in a bit of perfectionism - nothing gets done completely and everything is a mess.
Now you know exactly what my fridge looks like. Endless postits for every step of our kitchen remodel. 😂
Can I just tell you how much I love that you use ASL numbers in your videos? ASL is one of my favorite things ever, and I’m really happy you use ASL in your videos.
I feel this... deep within me... as I look at the walls with putty on them, mostly sanded... 5 gallons on paint in my kitchen... but the floor needs to be mopped and I need to go get another 5 gallon jug of water for my cooler and the damn car needs a bath... but I'm tired again and I need to .... oh F it... I'll try again tomorrow..
😂😂😂 I can relate
3 weeks later...
Well, you know what they say: "Tomorrow is that mystical place where 99% of human motivation, productivity and achievement lives."
The problem for us is not being able to focus on the search long enough to find the bloody place! 😅
This is so true! My husband gets annoyed because I will stop what I'm doing to do something random "that can wait for later". He doesn't understand that I'm thinking about it right now, so I'll do it right now. Things that can wait until later will never get done.
omg im the exact same way and my husband doesnt understand my logic either LOL
XD You sound like me LMAO I love doing pace work, but my body won't let me do much. I like sweeping and doing the dishes too. I swear my body doesn't want me to do any work and play games instead and nobody seems to understand that. I try to do a little at a time, but I always end up falling asleep :( I miss gymnastics. Ballet is alright and cheerleading sucks lol Especially since I have glasses. I had braces back then too which made it worse. I just had to be a flier. I'm guessing that was a test from the Universe to stop me from being scared of heights and if so, I passed, but I still hate cheerleading (and life) lol
Stop stop stop 😂 I have three things in my sight that need done, but if I start I'll miss my appointment later!
"Do you... hate me?"
What we all ask our brain at least four times per day 🤣🤣✨️
The fact you said 21 in sign language too made me so excited lol
ME TOO I WAS ABOUT TO SCREAM IN THE COMMENTS “THE 21 IN ASL!!!”
Omg, this is the first time I've seen any of his content and was like...."wait a minute"! I love seeing ASL when I least expect it.
That's why I need to give myself a deadline for everything
My watch later has over 2,000 videos I’ve been “meaning to watch” 💀
Uhhhhhhh wait what no you why
I'm
Me too 😭
Well in case you ever wondered, 5,000 is the max "watch later" videos it will let you keep.. discovered that when I tried to save #5,001
🙄😅
@@KZLUZI discovered that one a while ago.....and the proceeded to make a "later" playlist....which is also slowly filling up 😅😂
BRO. SAME💀💀💀💀
Ive literally made another playlist as a second watchlist and i havent even watched 1/4 of them
Yeah, I'm hovering around 2000 myself... Some are 10 years old now.
Some have been removed and I always have a pang of FOMO wishing I knew what I missed.
Like the non existing lamp in my entry hallway. If I open the door to my bathroom, I have enough light to barely see. It would be easier if I just put up a light in the hallway itself, but my brain have realized I'm never gonna get that done before moving out, so I've just accepted that 😂😂😭😭
The list gets SO LONG it gets overwhelming, but then you realize...the list NEVER ENDS!!! I just moved so it's even WORSE...the boxes 😭😭😭
moved 6 years ago and still "the boxes"...waiting on (also ADHD) hubby to finish the master bath remodel *sigh*
💥🙌
Watch Ken D Berry MD, it may help you, actually it will help a lot, a heads up, stop eating all carbs, all sugar, fake and real sugar, l am not in a brain fog any more, l up butter, oh, cut out seed oils which is what all restaurants use, l but butter on my meat to eat
Yep! I feel ya. I made a long list of things to address when I got my house 6 years ago… I think I’ve done 1 or 2… and lost the list 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤷🏼♀️🤦♀️
“Why do today what can be pushed off until tomorrow?”
Me before sleep: i want to sweep, fold clothes, and clean my room
Me when i wake up: *do everything but the one i said i want to do*
Then randomly, 3am motivation WILL hit
You could be my twin :)
Yall we might be triplets cause SAME
Quadruplets!?
Yeah why is it that in the morning I want to do NONE of what I wanted to the night before? Like, NONE.
3am motivation, but my husband is asleep and everything I want/need to do is in our bedroom.
Drives me batty!
Then in the morning he asks why I didn’t sleep. 😭
Same but im also obsessive so it will burn me from the inside whenever i see something is still broken and couldve fixed it instead of watching TV
This is so true. I force deadlines on myself for even small or mundane tasks because they absolutely will not get done otherwise. It's also how I force myself to do even reoccurring things, like cleaning. Apartments getting out of hand? Time to invite my friends to a dinner party at the end of the week. It may be stressful, it might not get cleaned until just before they get here, but by Jove it will get done.
It may not be perfect but at least it will be cleaned up :p
Yep! And even if that just involves moving stuff out of one room and into another, at least things look neat and organized for a little bit.
sounds soooo familiar 😅
😂 we do excel in making magic happen!
And it will literally be moments before guests arrive. All “ta-da!” Look what I did! 🎉 adhd magic is what I like to call it! 😊
If it wasn't for the last minute I'd never get anything done!
Im really glad these videos exist... I feel more sane now 😂😂
I also appreciate the use of the sign language randomly.
May I ask when he used the sign language? I watched again but must have missed it
@Emiliapocalypse it's his numbers in the first few seconds. 21 in sign language pretty much looks like finger guns. There's quite a few of these where he signs the Part #
I was going to say the same.
I used to tell people with ADHD it was all a load of rubbish and that everyone deals with these "bad habbits". Turns out I thought this because I have ADHD
My husband and I are both autistic. We have developed a "fix" for this. We pretend that we are contractors and we write work orders for each other WITH due dates. The work orders are organized by day/week/month and hierarchy of importance. We make a game of it, and it's fun for us. Our flavors of ASD are different, so we highlight one another's strengths in the tasks. Everyone wins ♡
can you puh-leeez tell me more? I think we are barely on top of the resentments caused by unmet requests so if one tries to address something the other can always reply well, when are YOU going to xyz. we need help
@judymiller5154 I'm not a therapist by any means. But my opinion is that if two humans are committed to the journey, every single thing is fixable and work-out-able. Heart to heart communication over head to head. And a reminder to you both, YOU ARE DOING EXCEPTIONALLY WELL!
@jesswisdom9094 we are having our 40th this summer. thanks for the affirmations. God bless ❤️🙏❤️
Have a "Not To Do List" just like you have a written "To Do" list. Write all the things down and stick it on the fridge or something and forget about it. It's there when you need it, but not a mental load on you. This has helped me sooooo much!
Always put a due date next to each task. Even if you do the work on that day, it gets done. Being deadline based has really helped me.
yes - create my own stress, challenge, and reward...otherwise I drift aimlessly 👍
So true... The lack of sleep makes me feel like I should get everything done.
My autism will throw the paper away while distracting me with my ninja turtle hyperfixation and the fact someone is breathing too loudly lol
I was summoned by ninja turtles 😮
@@gothic_ace2037 eyyy!! Who's your favorite?
@@duz_machines_8429 Leonardo
❤️🧡💙💜
Don't forget the fan in the background that's a bit too noisy...
the sound i made when this incredibly relatable video was over was some mix of giggling and sobbing
I get that. Hugs from afar 🤗
Same. My laughs immediately morphed into crying 🫠 it's so relatable
no dislike for the good boy
DAMN! You are one hell of an alpha work of masculine art brother! Thanks for the video
I've got a handle on this one. Here...
1. When there's no urgency or importance to the task it will rarely ever get done. Budgeting priorities also can knock some things into the never getting done category too.
2. If the task is important but not urgent, then I make a list of these items as they come up and then recategorize them based on what stores I need to go to to acquire what's needed to complete the task. Once I have the items, the project parts go into specific bags and placed right next to the project, so that all I have to do is grab my tool bag or hunt for the tools required to do the job.
3. My wife has learned that when I do this, I need a task immediately that I don't want to do. What happens is I end up procrastinating on what she asked me to do and suddenly am busy completing all the tasks I actually prepared for while I'm thinking about how to do whatever task I was asked to do that had more urgency. I know it's fucked up and why but this is how we get more things done in a day than I otherwise would normally. It takes weeks and sometimes months to do, but when it happens we save money on fuel, food, whatever I was actually buying (because sometimes shopping around in advance online is cheaper) and we save more time too because I make a day out of task completion. But then the motivation completely disappears the next day and I don't want to be bothered with anything and will actively avoid chores.
But at least a laundry list of tasks that otherwise wouldn't get done has been completed in record time.
Wow dude - now that is problem solving at its finest! Working with "what you have available to you" to get things done.
I find it very nice that your wife understands and knows how to help you "hack" it.
Kudos to you both!
I put this on my list to finish reading 😩..
I'm crying with how relatable this is.
Don't forget people telling you it's just an excuse for being lazy, or people who say we all have a little bit of ADHD, and my personal favorite, people saying "OMG, I'm so ADHD!" if they forgot to do something or if they were being loud/ being energetic.
I used to be one of those people saying I was acting ADHD. Until one day my mom casually said "Oh yeah, the pediatrician diagnosed you with ADHD when you were 5 years old. I called BS!" 😱
LITERALLY 20 YEARS OF WONDERING WHY I COULDN'T GET MY SHIT TOGETHER & WONDERINF WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME......
and all that time, I had ADHD and no one ever told me. 😭
"people saying "OMG, I'm so ADHD!" if they forgot to do something or if they were being loud/ being energetic."
"Oh, honey; you wish that's what it was."
Ugh I hear you! It’s so insulting to hear those statements
🕊️🤍🌳🕯️🕊️
Learn to rise above it.
As long as you know in your heart of hearts. You're not abusing your ADHD. Then rise above it.
🕊️🕯️🌳🤍🕊️
@@6Jenne6La6Flaca6 Im sorry but your parents absolutely failed you there bud :(
Having too much time on my hands having left work literally led me to my ADHD diagnosis. I've studied a couple of qualifications which each took years to complete (one still ongoing) it's the lack of immediate gratification that's the killer 🙄😔
The "do you.. hate me?" Hits just a bit too close to home....
This is me I said I would clean up my room months ago 😂
Go in the kitchen to cook then notice that cabinets and dishwasher need to be wiped down, work on that a bit, then notice some dishes need washed, do some of that, then see fridge needs cleaning, and so on and so on....two hours later remember about cooking!
Scrubbing away- "Why am I so hungry?" 🙀
Yes! My husband will send me into the kitchen to make him a cup of soup, and he will show up in the doorway 45 minutes later staring at me like... where is my soup?
"Oh! Is that what I came in here to do? Oops...."
@@mandimoore4946 LOL story of my life...
Me doing anything:
"Why am I so hungry?"
Solution to this chronic recurring problem - hire someone to feed me 👍🏻
The struggle is real but when you actually do something on the to do later list , how good is that!!
When I'm overwhelmed by my To Do list, I just delete it and create a new one. Not an ideal strategy, but better than giving up completely on maintaining a To Do list.
SAME
I just keep moving the tasks to the next day 😂
Finally a ADHD content creator who actually knows what it’s like to live with ADD and ADHD!
💯 i hate it so much. But then when i have a due date for tasks i start pressuring myself and then mentally lock up until it's too late. Unless it's a task envolving an interest, then maybe i get it done early and perfectly. Except at work. At work im annoyingly particular about how things are done. So it takes me a bit but the store and dishes get done as close to perfect as possible lol. All of it is annoying.
I painted my kitchen the other week, pressure was there because our house was being renovated. I am very grateful ✨ gets the job done.
Not me buying paint supplies to get my bedroom sorted... they've been sitting on the floor for two months 💀 maybe if i trip over them enough times I'll get my butt in gear
Well I bought an entire vinyl floor to put down in my living room ... that was like 6 months ago.. no... that was August/September and we're in May. 😮💨
Lmao, I planned to redecorate my bedroom for New Years. Absolutely nothing changed.
Uhh yea sums it up
No, no you won't.
checking in with you, comment stamped 2 weeks ago, did you get it done yet? 😂🤣
Oh my god, videos with ADHD are so relatable that i think that i may have one
I almost died laughing because I live this every day!
The thing I love about this is that he feels the need to feel or fidget with everything he needs to do. He flicks the light switch over and over, shoves his fingers into the hole, rubs the badly painted wall, etc.
That makes me think of The Office. “You threw it in the Special Filing Cabinet that is a trash can.”
Most of your videos make me want to cry from the feeling of having how my brain works put into words
*the gravel that has sat in my garden for four years* WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN
Poor gravel!! 😔
This is ON point, there is always SOMETHING I Forget that I was like "Yeah this NEEDS to be done. it's bothering me a lot."
I love that you use ASL in the opening to number the parts.
Yes 😂
I even try setting deadlines and my brain goes "well it's not a REAL deadline..."
I used to be in a camp for 2 or 6 weeks in a year and we had to sleep in tents but had an old house for cooking and for the bathrooms (weren’t allowed to sleep in there because of ‚Brandschutz‘). Once or twice in these 2 or 4 week stays I got bored and walked around the whole place with a small set of tools and whenever I saw screws I made sure that they were really tight. Now the camps don’t take place anymore cause the Bundeswehr (military in Germany) said it’s now too old and not even save for cooking and washing but I always liked it there. I also really enjoyed that it was always something (fun) to do like taking care of the nature around or little workshops and we didn’t use our phones the whole time. Sometimes I texted my friends and family good night or we took some selfies but that was it.
Sounds good…
So I'm not the only one? That's a relief. Thanks !!
Why is this me literally every day 😭😭
I hate how accurate this is. Good job
And one of these days you'll somehow develop MONSTROUS productivity for a single 24-hour period and somehow manage to get every single task done. But you only get one of these days every year! So you have to wait until everything is terrible to really make it worth it.
Gosh, I thought it was unfair that I only had 3 or maybe 4 of those days in a year. Having only 1 is definitely💩
@@Cellottia It do be pretty bad. But hey, one is better than none.
I saw that you signed 21. Nothing escapes my ADHD hypervigilence.
It's interesting that the sign for 21 is like a finger gun for a 21 gun salute (slightly inaccurate due to a finger gun being a pistol and a 21 gun salute being comprised of 7 rifles) but still an interesting memory tool. A blind YT creator (and advocate and children's books author/illustrator) Paul Castle, is teaching braille with his own memory aids using tennis balls and a muffin tin, it's fascinating
Do one of these for minors with adhd my problems are WAYYYYYYY too stupid and ma mom doesn't know how ADHD affects me
But I WILL be reminded of those things every single time I walk past them and feel bad! Especially when I'm too tired to do Anything about them! :D
I cackled when he pulled out the lighter fluid, so accurate 😂😭
The way I got around this was setting my own due date for as soon as I possibly could do it and putting it as most important in my brain. I was able to get all my homework done as soon as I got it by doing this and never forgot an assignment. Idk how it works or if it works for anyone else but that's how I got around this problem
I just pictured my brain processing things I need to do. This was a vivid example. SO relatable.
Totally relate to all this 😮😊 I start off trying to do 1 thing which turns into lots of other stuff, but then get nothing done 🤔 😅 so frustrating 😂
I just calculated how much force it would take to crush a human vertically to see how strong a character is for a video and I doubt that video's ever even gonna be filmed.
I've got a list....well, I HAD a list of things to do, but that list was either LOST, FORGOTTEN, or DESTROYED....😢
It's lying under the bills I have to pay and other to do lists.
Yep, sound's about right!
Yes and people say “you need to make a list” ya right
Mine is writing shopping lists. I'll write them out, put them near the door so I won't forget them on my way out...and I do remember it....once I'm already in the store trying to remember what I need. Do I remember the important items? Ofc I do. Once I'm at home putting away the shopping, realizing I forgot it.
I now write lists on my hand. In this economy, who can afford more than a handful of items at a time, anyways?
"Do you hate me?" Hits home 😭
Can't get thing done because "why do that now?" is something people call procrastinating but for people with adhd it's like if you wrote things down on a grocery list and then you forgot the list at home
❤❤😂u just described my self hate.
Fixing things is difficult unless it’s for someone else
yes!!! hubby stops by a friend's house after work to lend a hand within days of being aware of a need. yet our master bath remains unusable after 5 years of starting the remodel.
Remember!
You’re an amazing person!
You deserve love and attention!
You deserve happiness!
You’re beautiful!
You’re handsome!
Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!
You’re not weak!
You’re strong!
You can do this!
Your body is perfect!
You don’t need anything or anyone to change who you are!
You are enough!
You deserve better!
You are an absolute treasure!
You deserve greatness in your life
This is literally so accurate.
I totally agree. The overload is so unbearable, the brain has to throw it out in order to survive the stress & confusion
Imagine your brain is an unorganized email inbox and every thought is an email. If you don't flag things to action by a certain date, it'll just get lost in the abyss of bullshit 🙃
😂I love my ADHD! It’s an excuse I use to be an Avoidant/Antisocial happy detached lazy ass😂 I’m avoiding cleaning right now, so my son will do it instead lol
No due date, no doing :3
😂😂😂 I started cleaning my basement yesterday for the first time in 6 years. I go down there every couple days to do laundry, meanwhile dodging spiderwebs
From time to time, I clear my desk top of post-it notes with reminders, movie names, book titles, etc...
The fact that I always ask people to give me a deadline and they never do.
"Make room for other tasks" 😂😂😂 which will probably be the same listed tasks as before
This is crazy. This is exactly what happens to me constantly but only while watching this short it occured to me that I now know and understand why my husband hardly ever fixes anything around the house, which is very annoying for me. Thank you for explaining.
always set a due date, and several reminders , for everything 😂
It’s the there’s not a deadline that got me. I need that motivation to do anything really
Truth be told😂❤
This is too relatable
This is spot on but for me I lose sleep over the things that need to be fixed. Once I fix them I can finally get a good nice sleep. It really sucks, so stressful
This video just reminded me something important that I forgot, thanks.
Part 22, playing the perpetual victim
oh my god you just put the thoughts i didnt know how to express into action