That makes a lot of sense. My meltdowns are very emotional. Overstimulation is usually the trigger but the meltdown itself manifests as explosively emotional.
I have asd and adhd, never experienced a autistic "meltdown" in my life but Maybe thats because i do not really have sensory issues, I have very explosive anger which has always been there, Im surprised there are people who can supposedly experience both like this?
good point I'm not sure, I know that ive always been a very fiery person like my mum, My anger gets really bad when someone insults me or if i lose at a competitive video game, I am a very competitive person and will always try harder to be better then someone who threatens my ability, I think it definitely has something to do with adhd so yeah maybe! @@poiwytlee
I have adhd (diagnosed) and I've wondered for a long long time if I'm on the spectrum. Thing is, because I can't tell what's adhd and what's possibly autism, I can't explain it very well. It took me 27 years to get an adhd diagnosis and I just can't do that whole process again for an autism diagnosis when I can't even explain myself properly 😕
@@alexmcvey1609 Diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55, yet I strongly suspect and relate to autism. You don’t need to get diagnosed with both. Just find a professional who specializes in adhd and asd if you need help. Otherwise, stand tall and proud that you figured this out on your own. If you identify as being audhd, then so be it. No one can say otherwise.
I find my autistic traits bring out the adhd anger and meltdown in me but when I explode it’s all adhd but the buildup is Autism, you just have to find what makes you tick or what pushes the boat over the edge for you 👍
Omg same it was like finally someone put it into words! I always described it as the "noise in my head" and always had family and professionals look at me like I was mental 😂
I have ADHD and I feel like my meltdowns are more similar to the autistic ones like emotional build up and sometime hitting my head not being able to get words out and shouting in frustration which is frankly embarrassing but Idk my melt downs come from absolutely nowhere sometimes but it also happens when I try to talk to my family about something that's bothering me they get really annoyed because I can't exactly say what I mean which makes me more upset
Ough I feel you 😓 so frustrating, when others seemed to be annoyed. It makes me so angry - often I have the feeling, that I am too much for them :/ and I am too much for me, too. Some kind of safe space where I can be how I am without the fear of annoying people and hurting my feelings would be nice
@@nobody__asked__you not being the only one with those feelings and experiences.. so calming and unsettling at the same time. It hurts, that so many of us struggle nearly every day because ofhers can't just be nice and understanding. Nothing complex to ask, as I find.. After years I've watched Big Bang Theory again - and yeah I know, Sheldon is not very much liked by the autistic community and bad written - but I was disturbed watching him being a total cutiepie, answering questions friendly and with joy - just to be treated like he would be heavily insulting bc he understood/interpreted the question wrong. And in this point I think he is a wonderful example of how mean other people can be just because someone is different in a way they can't handle or experience as annoying.
😢 My meltdown began again the other day. A couple of the guys, Ben's friends played a horrid prank on me. By the time I arrived at work, I wanted to fall to the ground and cry and shout. My boss called the store and asked me what was I doing there. I didn't begin on the clock until 3pm. I was so angry, my whole body felt numb. I asked for the day off. When I am upset and haven't grounded myself fully, I cannot be around people. I already spoke to the guild's leader, he will educate those as****es and punish them for their actions. Always speak to someone, never keep this much energy stored up, speak up and ground yourself immediately. Your body will thank you.
Holy crap. I thought hitting my head during meltdown was something just I did. I always feel ashamed and guilty and like i was completely alone in this after and i cant tell you how amazing it is to hear that someone else does that. Thank you.
You aren’t alone. 🤗 I’ve done that too (this morning in fact!). I’m 99.9% sure I have ADHD so I’ll be getting tested and now I’m beginning to wonder if I both!! So many wonderful communities on here - thank goodness this is being brought to light so we can educate ourselves better from people who are living with neurodivergence and sharing this information with us. 😊
Saaaaame! Thank you for saying this out loud. Do you know I actually went to my PCP because I was afraid of brain injury because I did this so hard in my 20's. I actually asked for a brain scan to look for concussions. 😢 I've told numerous therapists and PCP's about this (embarrassing) behavior. Not 1 professional ever mentioned autism. Until recently, I always thought they were panic attacks and I was just a horrible person with severe anger issues. - Thank you to this community for putting out all of the neurodivergent information out here. I've learned so much about myself. ❤❤❤ - I'm in the very beginning stages of self acceptance and forgiveness 💖💖💖
@@jessicabuechler7031 doesn't matter what papers you have. You are what people see and say. I may be harmless to other people. But that's not what they see. You will always be a normies with anger issues. To normies and other "divergent" people. I nearly lost my job cuz my coworker who claimed to know and understand these kinds of issue got scared of me when I had an episode at work and tried beat the hell out myself. Because I "don't look xyz" means I am what they say and see and any legit issue doesn't matter if "you're scary". This is normal for all jobs and I currently work in a very liberal "we accept diversity" type place. But you should know that's often bullshit too. It's always "we accept obedience and conformity." Doesn't matter where you go.
My head instantly started to play "Puritania" from Dimmu Borgir 😅 never seen it like this but maybe a perfect song for meltdowns 😆 "Let chaos entwine On defenseless soil" .... "I am the cosmic storms I am the tiny worms I am fear in the night I am bringer of blight"
My meltdowns tend to pretty much always be emotional, and often have to do with conflict or humiliation. Not being able to stand up for myself, feeling cornered or ganged up on, trying to decode all the social cues and getting really overstimulated by all that. So they’re kind of all of that in one big messy ball of chaos.
Ugh yes. Being a woman in the world and everyone literally being bigger and more powerful yet often less responsible or considerate is a difficult one. I had a man let his dog out after barking at me and my dog ..I whapped the dog away from us cos he didnt call it back then the man came out after me. He was totally in the wrong. Totally the bigger older stronger person yet the least repsonsible. I ended up just barking at him cos i figured he was acting like a sog may as well treat him like one. It worked. But then i was freaked out that this man exists near my house and had to rearrange my entire bedroom to not be near the window.
@@IIIISaitotally lack of confidence in the face of that and not believing yourself by the end of it. When you're right your right and I tend to say to myself this is right you all are in the wrong and you don't know it and im not going to try to teach you. And then staying calm sometimes but rarely they actually realise it. Themslves. I dont always manage it but when i do its amazing.
I've got ADHD and work in a company that's not ADHD friendly per-say, the first question I was asked is "Do you have any weird so called mental issues. I hope you don't have ADHD." To which I said no, so I lied, however work stress sometimes becomes so overwhelming that I hit blank, my vision becomes tunneled and my brain shuts off, I don't respond to my boss or any colleagues, I just hit the customer service switch and it's always, "Hi, welcome, what would you like." And one time it was so intense after being cussed out from my boss calling me lazy that I didn't care if things went wrong, orders and everything was just a mess and the system was partially ruined, but I was unfazed. I got home after working 3 hours extra with no pay and ripped off my closet doors, broke 2 windows and dented my car with a pole.I saw the destruction and felt terrible. But I'm learning to control it because I know my one way of stimming is either deconstruct and reconstruct stuff,draw or just go for a walk and sit somewhere isolated by trees. My negative stimming ends with me destroying objects, my psychiatrist was worried that I'd hurt people, but thankfully for me when I melt down, people dissappear and the only things in line of fire from my hands are objects because I know they can absorb my outburst and not get hurt. It's really difficult to go to work for 7 days a week and pretend to be fine. As usual with ADHD, house is a mess, tons of sweets, fun projects are forgotten and I'm stuck doom scrolling everyday just to escape the thought of going back to work tomorrow. I love my clients, I love people that I can help, that's my gift, but the workplace itself is a mental and emotional and now physical hell for me each day. Some days I'm fine, most days I'm not and I realized that I don't fit into the world of neurotypical jobs as a neurodivergent person. So many skills, gifts and talents to use, but in the wrong place, it's not that we're weird or incapable of doing things or we're lazy. No, we're just unique and I hope that everyone with ADHD/autism find the right job that makes them happy, it's rare, but it's somewhere. So for those who's parents think they're strange, who's boss rebukes them for how they are,for those who lost friends because they saw you as too much or a freak. I and many of us know how it feels. It takes time to accept that you're not a problem, you're not strange, you're you and no one can be like you, keep going and do what you are capable of doing and if you really can't, that's okay. Learn to pace yourself. One love. 🌿💪❤️
Honestly you should file a complaint for discrimination... Jesus christ that is vile behaviour. Like, not even a need to mention you have ADHD because that is just discriminatory bullshit that any person should say something about!
That sounds like a good conversation with an employee rights attorney. I’d skip HR all together. Have that attorney in your back pocket. Especially if people talk down to you or continue to ask if you have “something” wrong with you.
Sensory meltdown is from the external world. Emotional breakdowns are from the internal world. They both affect each other. Especially when you have both. That's why I need a lot of alone time so I can know where both meet and separate. My Autonomy is most important for me to navigate through this world. When ASD/ADHD talk of boundaries this is where they live everyday and what they have to deal with. The constant shift between the internal world and the external world.
Oh god yeah. If theres a time dependant event where i cant escape or a space related thing like somone drives me somwhwre and i cant leave thats the aboslute worst . I can subjugate my autonomy for a period of time but after that is drained i will be pulling my clothes off jumping in a lake just to get the fugg out of the situation. So if a party isnt within running away home distance im not going. 😂
It's hard with young children to get that alone time I need. Because my child needs my attention and I of course have to respond to his needs. It's very overstimulating. But thank goodness for his nap times.
In my case, I've only ever had one autism meltdown that didn't come straight after an ADHD meltdown. Usually I'll get yelled for doing something I either didn't mean to or didn't do at at all causing my hypersensitivity to loud noises to kick in and me to start crying and yelling for a minute before my voice fully escapes me and I lose the ability to look anywhere but the ground as eye contact suddenly feels like a death sentence as I just run my fingers through my hair waiting for it to all pass
This honestly makes alot of sense, I think of my autism as more of an electrical current, partly because people always said I was 'wired' differently but also because when I am overwhelmed its like the static buzz, everything is blurry and no matter what I do I cant seem to get a clear picture or focus to get back to being able to speak and breathe normally
I've always used "head full of bees" to describe my sense of being overwhelmed. I mean, back in the 80s, nobody understood what I meant. It took until a couple years ago for someone to acknowledge it's a common symptom for ASD.
Being an AuDHD adult and knowing that meltdowns are a perfectly normal thing for us is actually really comforting and validating to help me know that I'm not alone
Oh I had both and I realized the difference as well. My adhd ones are like an episode of mania I suddenly make irrational descions and get extremely vile online or let my intrusive thoughts take over. My autistic ones is where I can’t function at all and have extreme panic and anxiety attacks where I need to isolate and be left alone for hours on end or I will bust. Lucikly these are controlled now but they do come and go every few months. I meditate now and it really helps but it took me a month of meditating to help regulate or at least start regulating more often. I’m still working on getting rid of some bad compulsive stims but it’s gonna take years so trying to be patient with myself
This was an excellent explanation. I have been trying to help my son find the words to describe his meltdowns, and he also has adhd and is Autistic. It also helped me see the differences in the meltdowns for us both. I really appreciate you and your cander.
Thank you for clarifying that. I do apparently experience both, and I've been calling them panic attacks and mood swings which is the language I learned around trauma and mental health. Correct diagnosis reduces self-shaming and self-gaslighting SO much!
This, finally! I've been seeing so much explaining ADHD *or* ASD, and nobody else has explained why sometimes my meltdowns are very different. Thank you so much for clarifying this!
As a kid I had many ASD meltdowns from overstimulation and ADHD meltdowns seldom came up. As a young adult, ADHD meltdowns have become much more common and are made worse by PTSD, and my ASD meltdowns have switched to shutdowns
For me (adhd) I cry. Im 45 and only starting to realize why I cry "for no reason" sometime. (No good reason) im lucky i work with really nice people and cold really calms me for some reason (im always hot when metling down idk why) and i work in a grocery store so if a coworker sees me crying softly in the corner of the cooler they know ill be fine soon. 😅
Thank you! This is a well thought out definitition of both!! I very rarely have meltdowns, but I am autistic, diagnosed as an adult, so its difficult to explain to my family who are used to my decades younger brother's adhd meltdowns that I dont want their physical comfort and that their explanations dont help at all! I know full well what is happening and why! They struggle to understand that, collectively, their cigarette smoke, persistent coughs, ear-splitting laughs and 12 conversations at once while im cooking are just too much for my brain to cope with! Just get out of my kitchen!!! Haha Brilliant video.
Thank you so much for posting this. I had anxiety all my life and always thought I had anxiety attacks. I recently was diagnosed with ADHD and I have some autistic traits like overstimulation. Now I realize that ADHD meltdowns are real so I know where I can start to try to treat this. I was recommended antipsychotics to help with this which my doctor thinks is a mood disorder. I just need to address the meltdowns and anxiety but I don't feel like changing my whole brain with meds.
Thank you for explaining this! I’m both too, but my husband is only ADHD. I’m sure he has meltdowns sometimes, but because they don’t look like mine (mine present mostly on the autistic side), he refuses to believe it. Hopefully this can help us.
My therapists used to tell me my meltdowns (the bees) were like a teapot. In the moment your ADHD is like a stop and go car. You go through the intersection and flip off the people who cut you off or get in your lane, etc. It's like you're filling up with rage but only in the moment. The Autistic aspect is the teapot. Everything is fine, you feel okay. The over time, the masking the coping and everything you do doesn't help and finally you just explode and want to be left alone. You don't want anyone to touch you or talk to you, you just want to be in your own world to NOT have to think about anything. It's a weird combo to have. You know? Thank you for explaining it. I understand in analogies. I have to experience something in order to understand it. ❤
I wrote a poem in highschool called "Hive" that looking back was basically about how it feels to constantly hold back meltdowns and mental distress until they "sting through" leaving a "fiery and blistered exterior" (aka an external meltdown). This was maybe 2 years before I started exploring Autism. At that point my diagnosis record looked like ADHD, Social Anxiety disorder, and dysthymia. I got an "educational" diagnosis of Autism my senior year of highschool (I phrase it like that because they did do testing with professionals but it's technically not recognized the same as a medical evaluation). From the age of FOUR years old it's been identified that I have sensory processing issues, fairly severe executive dysfunction, low muscle tone and coordination difficulties. They assumed It was all just a developmental delay and I would grow out of it . Still to this day those are my most obvious traits. It's been about three years since then of non-stop research, and cycling through acceptance and intense imposter syndrome. And yes, in case you're wondering; I am a woman and I grew up in a rural area in my early childhood 🙃 EDIT: it's worth noting that I was masking my ASS off during my testing because I was nervous and didn't know better. I just went into my "talking to professional adults I don't know" mask (it's the same persona I use for job interviews now lol). And I STILL meet the qualifications.
Your talk about the poem was very interesting. I know I wrote some pretty depressed poems in high school, but I don’t remember what they were about. I do remember my book report on Catcher In The Rye, where I summarized the theme as being Holden Caufield wandering in search of a respite from the expectations of society, a goal which was briefly and imperfectly achieved by his apparent breakdown- which made it temporarily acceptable for him to rest, if in a hospital, though the expectations that he pull himself together and get back to it resurfaced almost immediately. I suspect I was the only one who interpreted the book in ways that had nothing to do with the teacher’s views. I remember her talking to the class about how “Holden is smarter than you or I.” And I remember thinking that, while I didn’t feel that the character was unusually smart, I did identify with him a lot, and since she was one of the few teachers who really took a dislike to me and my traits, and singled me out, I seriously doubted she would have liked a Holden in real life. I’ve occasionally wondered what she thought of my report.
Thank you for this. I am trying to think if I have had one without the other. Probably. But I’m recently diagnosed and have only noticed meltdowns when they are really really really bad (like humiliating myself in public) and those have definitely been what you described as combined AuDHD meltdowns.
I didn't realize ADHD meltdowns were a thing. I'll have to watch for those too. I know I have autistic meltdowns, which for a long time I mistakenly thought were flashbacks due to my PTSD. But they are quite a different experience, not triggered by the same things and are helped by different strategies. Of course, sometimes a meltdown causes a flashback or the other way around. I'm grateful for people explaining these differences. Before I knew I was having meltdowns, I would get really distressed and down on myself that none of what I'd worked on and learned in therapy was helping. I felt helpless, which would sometimes lead into an actual flashback. Now I'm able to tell the difference usually and even catch meltdowns early and do things to help myself so they don't get so bad. It's helped my management of the PTSD, though I honestly still find that harder and sometimes have to resort to rescue medication (beta blockers in my case). Knowing about and understanding all these experiences is so important, thank you for sharing!
I need to rewatch this several times to decipher everything you said in my brain. But just the pause with the loading icon... I have to say... I need that in my life!!! 😂😂😂 Especially when people are waiting for a response from me and it's just taking time to load! Love it!!! I can't find an emoji for that. We need an emoji for that!!!! 🔘⭕️🔅🔁 😂
Ive never considered I could have some form of autism but recently found out that adhd and autism are highly linked and seeing videos like this that I relate to has expanded my search for understanding how i process things.
You just described me perfectly. I cannot thank you enough for this. I haven't had a way to let my husband and kids know what the heck is going on with me. I have ADHD meltdowns frequently: It feels like my brain has been turned off and there's just static buzzing there. I lose my speech capacity for this every time. My emotional autism meltdowns, and even just strong emotions, don't happen often, but when they do, they always lead to ADHD overwhelm and I lose speech then, too. I also lose speech during migraines. We have a much-needed code phrase that I can actually use during this time. It's actually based on the first thing I said when it started getting bad. I was trying to say I couldn't talk, but something else came out. So now our phrase is, "I can't word/brain," or, "I can't word/brain good." I was so embarrassed of this for the longest time, until all three of my kids ended up using their own versions of it. My two younger children have autism, ADHD, and OCD, exactly like their mom. (Hi!) And my oldest is very glad we don't share any genetic material (I adopted him, and I'm lucky as all get-out to have him), but he gets serious migraines. They all use permutations of the phrase now, and it's been beautiful seeing them be able to self-exam their current mental and physical selves and identify when they are having particular issues. It's made me realize that losing my words is huge to me because I'm an author and poet, and they are intrinsic to my self-expression. It has also made me learn that having this happen is not a bad thing, and that being able to identify it is a gift and a blessing, not an embarrassment. It has also helped my family identify each other's problems before we need to say the code phrase. It's a good thing. I just never realized it.
I’m on the waiting list for an autism assessment at the moment, and you’ve described how my autistic meltdowns feel perfectly, it’s like a fuzzy haze all over you and you can’t focus apart from on escaping somehow. My ADHD diagnosed best friend thinks I have ADHD too, I’m starting to see it myself the more I learn and it’s interesting you say about emotional overwhelm being ADHD as I experience that a lot and it comes out as anger or upset explosions rather than hitting myself or stimming excessively. Thanks for another interesting and engaging video ❤
i tend to get shutdowns from overstimulation, especially from like negative feelings, and the only way i can describe it is like that self pouring liquid stuff. my brain gets filled up and when it starts to overfill it all comes pouring out
Another thing about ADHD shutdowns (btw I have ADHD so this is pre hand) is that you are unable to move or speak so it is physical just that you can’t move. You can’t chose to come out of it. It takes a while. Once while I was in a shutdown, everything went blurry and I couldn’t do anything about the bully opposite me who told me that she would go away from this pug before she exploded. (She was talking about me btw.) hope this helps and please let me know if there is anything to add to this. Like and comment this if you agree with me.
I had a double meltdown last week. I just got a puppy 2 weeks ago. She is now a 12-week old Mastiff puppy. Once she is grown, she will be a mobility service dog for me. My mom said that it is my job to care for and train her. My brother paid for the puppy and has spent the most on her supplies so far. My mom has promised to pay for her training program once my grandpa's estate is settled. After a week of trying to take care of this puppy primarily on my own, with some help from my brother, I had a meltdown. Molly had needed to go outside to go potty, but some of the neighborhood dogs were barking. This scared Molly and she refused to go potty in the yard. I brought her back inside and within 2 minutes, she had piddled on the floor once again, so I took her back outside. She still refused to go potty as the dogs continued to bark. Meanwhile, I'm feeling very overwhelmed, frustrated, and tired. I look inside to see my brother cleaning up the piddle puddle, but my mom just continued to sit in her recliner, watching TV. She was completely disengaged from what was going on around her. That tipped me over the edge. I came inside, screamed at my mom to either help me or we needed to return the dog because I couldn't do this by myself. I'm not functioning like I normally do because all my brain power is focused on what Molly needs and trying to prevent potty accidents. It's like having a newborn and a curious toddler all rolled into a puppy. Apparently, what my mom had meant was that she wouldn't take on the majority of caring for Molly until Molly and I were fully bonded. She didn't articulate this to me until after my meltdown. I was mentally and emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted because our house isn't puppy-proof, so there is no real relaxing until we go to bed. Fortunately, my mom realized I was in a meltdown and let me go through it so that I could get better control of my emotions and talk properly again. Once we were on the other side of the meltdown, we were able to talk about all of it. We are not returning Molly. Mom is doing a better job of helping me keep an eye on Molly to reduce the number of accidents in the house. We are going through a lot of changes in our house right now, which certainly wasn't helping.
Thank you for being so honest and sharing what you go through, it really does help others feel less alone and helps them explain what they are going through if they don't know how to put it into words ❤
Happened today. I was doing fine lol 😅 then found out someone was messing with my stuff at home who doesn’t respect my boundaries or personal things. This triggered the rage and anger, feels of overwhelm and anxiety. Once I realized my emotions took over I suddenly became so much more overstimulated and noticed the lights, noise, temperature and my shoes! I was doomed from the first moment. 😩
Thank you for explaining how it is with the 2 for you. I hate when they feed eachother. You did such a great job explaining this. I never knew how to put in words but yours...perfect! Thank you
I have adhd, NLD and asd I really can relay on that. In the past I had more emotional melt downs. Now I have more autistic meltdowns, I understand now why I hit my head in the past when I had a meltdown. Why I sometimes start to stutter when I have a meltdown.
I'm so sorry. ❤ Either way, that is a lot of melting down. Sincere compassion. Hoping you find the right care. Here in the US, neurofeedback and Mindfulness training and meditation studies show positive outcomes in people struggling with both of the conditions you mention. All the best to you. Peace.
Thank you for expressing your experience. When I was a child, I would shut down when confronted with anything. I didn't know how to tell people why I did things. I am a little better now, but still have a time expressing hurt or neglect.
i just want to say as a new viewer that you look SO good with your short hairstyle. I began watching you with long hair before stumbling on recent videos. So happy to hear that you’re nonbinary and generally just rock and rolling as your true self. In the past you spoke of feeling unsure of who you really are underneath the mask, so I just want to say the authentic you is awesome.
Your description for ADHD meltdown is right on for me. Both descriptions really resonate. None of the psych doctors I told about this *ever* appeared to recognize or understand what I was talking about.
This makes so much sense to me.... I know someone with ADHD... The meltdowns very much manifest similarily, mhm. For them its shouting, but also slamming or banging things in frusteration, and getting very very frusterated...Then feeling overall bad and like not wanting anyone to see it. The hardest part besides the explosive unable to deal with anything throughout...And not being able to do anything to help soothe them, has to be the nasty things this person will at times lash out with. I feel helpless in those moments all I can do is sit there and just take it....I've tried to excuse myself but they just harp on me that I overreact... The whole 'you're just sensitive' reaction... And then there's me... Learning that there's a very low chance I am not on the autistic spectrum... And the more I look into it in general to be educated, the more I relate... I can actually think back to times I had the overload and even was rendered speechless. Other times I just wnt to hide under my bed or in my closet as a means no one will find me not even the mirrior for awhile. Just hide away until everything my system is feeling calms down and the world feels tolerable again... Hearing this just resonated like I finaly have an explaination to it all. Right down to ADHD Meltdown can kick off an Autistic Meltdown. It seems that way between myself and this person but now I understand WHY, Thank you so much. I bet it can be rough at times to be both, I am wishng you the best.
Thank you so much for this! My youngest has meltdowns and we've been trying to figure out if she has autism or ADHD, but she acts very different from her ADHD sister, who is very hyperactive. But the way you describe the ADHD meltdowns are exactly how she acts. Then we'll look into testing for absent ADHD. This was very helpful. Thank you so much!
For my ADHD meltdowns I tend to pick at the newly shaved/cut bits of hair under the longer bits and sometimes when my hair there hasn't been cut I have an autistic meltdown from not being able to cope.
What a good explanation! Well said! That resonates with a lot of people I am sure. And it will be helpful to many more who are neurotypical and want to understand those who are neurodivergent (in this case ADHD or ASD). Thank you.
No more Head-bees! I totally get the head beast thing as soon as you said that I laughed and totally recognize myself in that. I’m totally OK with the yellow and black ones that pollinate flowers- the head bees seem to only pollinate grief
for me it can be different sometimes, like sometimes it’s autistic meltdown and sometimes it’s adhd meltdown but often, it sorta starts out as adhd meltdown?? like idk how to say it, I just start out as emotional and destroying stuff and then just, feel like someone took all my emotions away and stare off into space numbly while still feeling upset and exhausted
I came from your addiction video being clean for 7 months and I didn't realise you had autism or ADHD, I recently got diagnosed with both and I'm currently trying to give up the same addiction ❤️ very inspiring 😢😢😢 ❤️🧡💛💚
This has helped me identify with my (greatly suspected) autistic side more than anyother adhd versus asd video. I didn’t know there was a difference. Now I know I experience both. I cannot thank you enough.
I am autistic and possibly have ADHD too (not confirmed yet, but I strongly suspect it) and never made that formal distinction, although I was always aware that some kinds of stimming might include that someone's hurting themselves. It's very real.
As a grown woman who has experienced these repeatedly, the same behaviours, plus self biting, scratching, bruising, relationship harm from shouty behaviour, my whole life… thank you for your honesty and openness. I feel this is really taboo and shameful. I have neither of the diagnoses. I usually control my episodes now with antihistamine medication. Much better than in the past when I did not know about MCAS
I understand what you mean. I was just on another channel that was talking about Self-Injurious Behaviors, and there were a lot of people of all adult ages talking about their experiences. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, but it was comforting to know it is experienced by many others. Interesting about the antihistamines. I’ve taken those for seasonal allergies most of my life, largely in the spring for tree pollen. Some years ago I stumbled on a discussion among people who experienced varying levels of depression from different antihistamines, and since I tend to be depressed at that time of year, I tried using them as minimally as I could, but did not see a difference. It was only about a year ago that I found out histamines are neurotransmitters, at which point the seasonal depression started to make more sense. I also have an old friend who always suffered from both allergies and depression.
As someone who was diagnosed with adhd very young and autism later this is very helpful. They were always confused by my different types of meltdowns. My parents were awesome some teachers too most weren’t.
I've experienced both but predominantly its the emotional one mixed with intense dread at social interaction that i spent christmas day bymyself for safety.
I used to listen to the 1800 seconds on autism podcast. I think one of the presenters explained the difference between a meltdown and a shutdown (i think this is the wording they used) which I also found interesting.
My son 23 yearshas autisme and I 58 years have adha, and your are so right . There for i try to not go near danger, but have developed angseirti. Not easy but we get along
I completely get this as my meltdowns are predominantly with my Autism however the ADHD ones have surfaced later in life as has aspects that I feel are ADHD due to trauma
I think for me my adhd meltdowns are emotionally charged and im more likely to collapse where i stand and cry, whereas autistic meltdowns are definitely sensory based and im more likely to either simply fall asleep, or try to hide, need the dark etc to remove as much stimulation as possible. I didnt really know about adhd meltdowns before so its good to understand the difference
For me, I hadn't made the bees connection, though it does make sense (the buzzing that drowns everything else out). For me, I had equated it more with "static"/interference and/or having the "fortress of solitude" wall come up (or suddenly come down) and would make it hard to think and even see clearly, like being in a protective bubble or fog (or foggy bubble, yet more open, only when I'd also get anxious would it close in and feel claustrophobic), like a sheer white curtain that would come in/down/around me, and I could still kind-of see, but not as clearly. More often than not, it felt like being in my own little world/dimension, while everything else went on around me, yet couldn't quite process it all. The more of these videos I see, the more I feel like the life I've known has started to make sense to me. For the longest time, I just kept being treated/told that I was ”weird/from another planet" or just dismissed. This (these videos/community), now, feels so validating!
My ADHD meltdowns are the company deferent lol I just sit down overthink and cry as the moment that triggered it replays I'm my head and Im also overthinking on things that are barely connected to what triggered it I forgot to mention I go completely nonverbal
Ive been questioning for years if I have both autism and ADHD everytime I watch a video pretaining to AUDHD I resonate more and more. Definetly trying to get tested.
AuDHD person here, whose symptoms are so intertwined they are basically just one nebulous disorder. It is hard to know what to ascribe to autism or ADHD because whenever I try to make that distinction it must be made using external ideas of what the two separate disorders should look like in practice instead of the soup of emotions and sensations that it can actually be. I know it makes it easier to talk to neurotypical folks when there are clinical hard-line definitions for these, but I've found in my human experience (in both having it and having friends who have it) Autism and ADHD seem to become one in these moments simply due to the overlap in how they can have similar triggers or even trigger each other.
I haven't been diagnosed but my friends and sister have both said I definitely "radiate the Autism and the ADHD". From memories and seeing familiar reactions, autism was mainly shown from feeling overwhelmed from surrounding, people, and needing to be alone, when I was alone, I would scream more than cry. It wasn't angry screaming, more like I was holding back for too long as I do not cry often. I would have tears, but I didn't sound like I was crying. Just screaming. I never know what is wrong mentally, I know emote. I assume ADHD was from feeling confused and overwhelmed by "what do I do" as I do recall times where I would be in class, ESPECIALLY pratical lessons such as science experiments or construction. I would be looking around, because even though it was explained, shown, I would be so hesitant because I just didn't understand despite knowing. It might have been fear from messing up, too. I hated being confronted by teachers due to just wanting to get by without being scolded. It never went to emotions, though. It was always in my head. I would be internally freaking out. This is kind of just assuming, though. Since I do not have any diagnosis except diagnosed friends and a sister telling me "yeah you're very in the spectrum" I was literally told by an internet friend that I radiate autism. In a good way don't worry xD I was also a late bloomer in every single way possible. Born a week late. (This one is just a joke lol but it is insane that I was such a late arrival) Did not walk for a year-ish, also did not speak for a year, as well. I have been very dependent, still kind of am, I am very scared of being on my own. Like you know that feeling you just know you have it yet don't want to assume? It's kind of like that with me. I'm 90% sure I have both, but I don’t know. Also, my sister is assuming ADHD is genetic as my dad is vERY ADHD. He isn’t diagnosed (he's in his late 40s) but he shows a lot of the common symptoms. Can't be still for too long, he needs to move, he will zone out while watching his shows and he said to me the other day "I gotta rewatch Brooklyn-99 again. I am pretty sure I missed a few episodes." He will always be moving his leg when he is sitting down. Always. He kind of pauses for a minute, and then his leg just vibrates.
The last part about an ADHD meltdown triggering an autistic meltdown was interesting. As it happens, I think I’ve done it that way, but based on your descriptions, more often the other way around. When I feel trapped and overwhelmed, I can go to freeze or flight, but if I perceive that I cannot flee, that’s when I go to fight and yell. Hitting myself falls in two camps as well: intense frustration is when I pound on my legs. Maximum internal overwhelm is when I might hit my head.
Makes so much sense my adhd meltdown are emotionally charged something simple as my children fighting can trigger overstimulation in my body and brain sometimes it even feels painful and I become emotionally charged from it.
Meanwhile, I dont even understand the difference between emotionally charged overwhelm and bee overload.... It all happens combined to me... I also read the comments but still don't understand. Can somebody talk me through? (Diagnosed ADHD, suspected Autism and/or CPTSD)
My laptop updated on its own and defaulted the browser to yahoo instead of google chrome, and i couldn't figure out how to turn it back and got emotionally overloaded and had a meltdown at school, so that was... fun. Managed to freak out a friend by sort of headbutting a wall (i was fine, managed to slow down enough to not hurt myself and did manage to get the correct browser back)
Diagnosed with adhd when 46. Not diagnosed with autism, but suspected since I was 21. Hard to distinquish, but from inside, it seems adhd are fight reactions, and asd are flee or freeze reactions. I can usually sit there like a bump and take a dressing down, but if any physical agession breaks out, woe be to the agressor. As a result, my confused friends don't understand why I am fearful of tests and telephone conversations, but can walk the streets of Philly and Dallas after dark alone.
Today i had and autistic shutdown. The first in months! Arrived london, get into the tube and flop! Even a good woman let me sit on her place...i rarely go non verbal, but man! I couldnt talk for a whole two hours! What a beautiful way to start the holidays
i’m not going to self diagnose, but im pretty sure i have it. i’ve been told i seem like i have it. i relate to the adhd meltdown because of earlier today when i was having a meltdown over my brother
That makes a lot of sense. My meltdowns are very emotional. Overstimulation is usually the trigger but the meltdown itself manifests as explosively emotional.
I have asd and adhd, never experienced a autistic "meltdown" in my life but Maybe thats because i do not really have sensory issues, I have very explosive anger which has always been there, Im surprised there are people who can supposedly experience both like this?
@@CallumxfisherDo you not feel your explosive anger is in relation to meltdowns?
good point I'm not sure, I know that ive always been a very fiery person like my mum, My anger gets really bad when someone insults me or if i lose at a competitive video game, I am a very competitive person and will always try harder to be better then someone who threatens my ability, I think it definitely has something to do with adhd so yeah maybe! @@poiwytlee
Same
@@Callumxfisher
Especially looking back to when I was young, my anger outbursts seem to be related to *under*stimulation.
I am autistic and ADHD, and I can't really tell apart my meltdowns. Or often my autism and ADHD in general.
I have adhd (diagnosed) and I've wondered for a long long time if I'm on the spectrum. Thing is, because I can't tell what's adhd and what's possibly autism, I can't explain it very well. It took me 27 years to get an adhd diagnosis and I just can't do that whole process again for an autism diagnosis when I can't even explain myself properly 😕
@@alexmcvey1609 Diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55, yet I strongly suspect and relate to autism. You don’t need to get diagnosed with both. Just find a professional who specializes in adhd and asd if you need help. Otherwise, stand tall and proud that you figured this out on your own. If you identify as being audhd, then so be it. No one can say otherwise.
I find my autistic traits bring out the adhd anger and meltdown in me but when I explode it’s all adhd but the buildup is Autism, you just have to find what makes you tick or what pushes the boat over the edge for you 👍
I don’t have either but I have both of the types of meltdowns that were described.
Your so real for this
to hear another person describe it as "bees" ... oh my god my jaw dropped, wow! 😵 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Omg same it was like finally someone put it into words! I always described it as the "noise in my head" and always had family and professionals look at me like I was mental 😂
I have ADHD and I feel like my meltdowns are more similar to the autistic ones like emotional build up and sometime hitting my head not being able to get words out and shouting in frustration which is frankly embarrassing but Idk my melt downs come from absolutely nowhere sometimes but it also happens when I try to talk to my family about something that's bothering me they get really annoyed because I can't exactly say what I mean which makes me more upset
Ough I feel you 😓 so frustrating, when others seemed to be annoyed. It makes me so angry - often I have the feeling, that I am too much for them :/ and I am too much for me, too. Some kind of safe space where I can be how I am without the fear of annoying people and hurting my feelings would be nice
@@dn3305 Yes exactly! Nice to know someone gets it
@@nobody__asked__you not being the only one with those feelings and experiences.. so calming and unsettling at the same time. It hurts, that so many of us struggle nearly every day because ofhers can't just be nice and understanding. Nothing complex to ask, as I find..
After years I've watched Big Bang Theory again - and yeah I know, Sheldon is not very much liked by the autistic community and bad written - but I was disturbed watching him being a total cutiepie, answering questions friendly and with joy - just to be treated like he would be heavily insulting bc he understood/interpreted the question wrong. And in this point I think he is a wonderful example of how mean other people can be just because someone is different in a way they can't handle or experience as annoying.
😢 My meltdown began again the other day. A couple of the guys, Ben's friends played a horrid prank on me. By the time I arrived at work, I wanted to fall to the ground and cry and shout. My boss called the store and asked me what was I doing there. I didn't begin on the clock until 3pm. I was so angry, my whole body felt numb. I asked for the day off. When I am upset and haven't grounded myself fully, I cannot be around people.
I already spoke to the guild's leader, he will educate those as****es and punish them for their actions.
Always speak to someone, never keep this much energy stored up, speak up and ground yourself immediately. Your body will thank you.
Holy crap. I thought hitting my head during meltdown was something just I did. I always feel ashamed and guilty and like i was completely alone in this after and i cant tell you how amazing it is to hear that someone else does that. Thank you.
You aren’t alone. 🤗 I’ve done that too (this morning in fact!). I’m 99.9% sure I have ADHD so I’ll be getting tested and now I’m beginning to wonder if I both!! So many wonderful communities on here - thank goodness this is being brought to light so we can educate ourselves better from people who are living with neurodivergence and sharing this information with us. 😊
Not diagnosed with anything but strongly suspect there's something because I'm ticking soooo many boxes and now this one too.
Saaaaame! Thank you for saying this out loud.
Do you know I actually went to my PCP because I was afraid of brain injury because I did this so hard in my 20's. I actually asked for a brain scan to look for concussions. 😢
I've told numerous therapists and PCP's about this (embarrassing) behavior. Not 1 professional ever mentioned autism. Until recently, I always thought they were panic attacks and I was just a horrible person with severe anger issues.
- Thank you to this community for putting out all of the neurodivergent information out here. I've learned so much about myself.
❤❤❤
- I'm in the very beginning stages of self acceptance and forgiveness 💖💖💖
Nope. I now have brain damage because it's what happens when you continuously hit your head. With fists.
@@jessicabuechler7031 doesn't matter what papers you have. You are what people see and say. I may be harmless to other people. But that's not what they see. You will always be a normies with anger issues. To normies and other "divergent" people.
I nearly lost my job cuz my coworker who claimed to know and understand these kinds of issue got scared of me when I had an episode at work and tried beat the hell out myself. Because I "don't look xyz" means I am what they say and see and any legit issue doesn't matter if "you're scary". This is normal for all jobs and I currently work in a very liberal "we accept diversity" type place. But you should know that's often bullshit too. It's always "we accept obedience and conformity." Doesn't matter where you go.
ADHD Meltdown: Welp. This looks like a good place.
ASD Meltdown: Yep!
Anxiety Attack: Oooo! Can I come too?
Human: .... oh no...
PARTY TIME !!
heh, heh...
For me it's
ADHD Meltdown
ASD Meltdown
CPTSD Flashback
EverybodyDanceNow.mp3
*Ptsd arrives* Welcome to the party!!!
bees are too organized for me, they're like chaotic writhing worms, and adhd brain is yelling at them to stop
My head instantly started to play "Puritania" from Dimmu Borgir 😅 never seen it like this but maybe a perfect song for meltdowns 😆
"Let chaos entwine
On defenseless soil" ....
"I am the cosmic storms
I am the tiny worms
I am fear in the night
I am bringer of blight"
My meltdowns tend to pretty much always be emotional, and often have to do with conflict or humiliation. Not being able to stand up for myself, feeling cornered or ganged up on, trying to decode all the social cues and getting really overstimulated by all that. So they’re kind of all of that in one big messy ball of chaos.
THATS ME, all the times ive ever lost it was when my family was all against me with gaslighting
Ugh yes. Being a woman in the world and everyone literally being bigger and more powerful yet often less responsible or considerate is a difficult one. I had a man let his dog out after barking at me and my dog ..I whapped the dog away from us cos he didnt call it back then the man came out after me. He was totally in the wrong. Totally the bigger older stronger person yet the least repsonsible. I ended up just barking at him cos i figured he was acting like a sog may as well treat him like one. It worked. But then i was freaked out that this man exists near my house and had to rearrange my entire bedroom to not be near the window.
@@IIIISaitotally lack of confidence in the face of that and not believing yourself by the end of it. When you're right your right and I tend to say to myself this is right you all are in the wrong and you don't know it and im not going to try to teach you. And then staying calm sometimes but rarely they actually realise it. Themslves. I dont always manage it but when i do its amazing.
I've got ADHD and work in a company that's not ADHD friendly per-say, the first question I was asked is "Do you have any weird so called mental issues. I hope you don't have ADHD." To which I said no, so I lied, however work stress sometimes becomes so overwhelming that I hit blank, my vision becomes tunneled and my brain shuts off, I don't respond to my boss or any colleagues, I just hit the customer service switch and it's always, "Hi, welcome, what would you like." And one time it was so intense after being cussed out from my boss calling me lazy that I didn't care if things went wrong, orders and everything was just a mess and the system was partially ruined, but I was unfazed. I got home after working 3 hours extra with no pay and ripped off my closet doors, broke 2 windows and dented my car with a pole.I saw the destruction and felt terrible. But I'm learning to control it because I know my one way of stimming is either deconstruct and reconstruct stuff,draw or just go for a walk and sit somewhere isolated by trees. My negative stimming ends with me destroying objects, my psychiatrist was worried that I'd hurt people, but thankfully for me when I melt down, people dissappear and the only things in line of fire from my hands are objects because I know they can absorb my outburst and not get hurt. It's really difficult to go to work for 7 days a week and pretend to be fine. As usual with ADHD, house is a mess, tons of sweets, fun projects are forgotten and I'm stuck doom scrolling everyday just to escape the thought of going back to work tomorrow. I love my clients, I love people that I can help, that's my gift, but the workplace itself is a mental and emotional and now physical hell for me each day. Some days I'm fine, most days I'm not and I realized that I don't fit into the world of neurotypical jobs as a neurodivergent person. So many skills, gifts and talents to use, but in the wrong place, it's not that we're weird or incapable of doing things or we're lazy. No, we're just unique and I hope that everyone with ADHD/autism find the right job that makes them happy, it's rare, but it's somewhere. So for those who's parents think they're strange, who's boss rebukes them for how they are,for those who lost friends because they saw you as too much or a freak. I and many of us know how it feels. It takes time to accept that you're not a problem, you're not strange, you're you and no one can be like you, keep going and do what you are capable of doing and if you really can't, that's okay. Learn to pace yourself. One love. 🌿💪❤️
Honestly you should file a complaint for discrimination... Jesus christ that is vile behaviour. Like, not even a need to mention you have ADHD because that is just discriminatory bullshit that any person should say something about!
That sounds like a good conversation with an employee rights attorney. I’d skip HR all together. Have that attorney in your back pocket. Especially if people talk down to you or continue to ask if you have “something” wrong with you.
Sensory meltdown is from the external world. Emotional breakdowns are from the internal world. They both affect each other. Especially when you have both. That's why I need a lot of alone time so I can know where both meet and separate.
My Autonomy is most important for me to navigate through this world.
When ASD/ADHD talk of boundaries this is where they live everyday and what they have to deal with.
The constant shift between the internal world and the external world.
Thank you I mix up the two a lot. And frustration comes out. I'm 34f adhd autistic.
Very well put.. insightful.!!
Oh god yeah. If theres a time dependant event where i cant escape or a space related thing like somone drives me somwhwre and i cant leave thats the aboslute worst . I can subjugate my autonomy for a period of time but after that is drained i will be pulling my clothes off jumping in a lake just to get the fugg out of the situation. So if a party isnt within running away home distance im not going. 😂
It's hard with young children to get that alone time I need. Because my child needs my attention and I of course have to respond to his needs. It's very overstimulating. But thank goodness for his nap times.
In my case, I've only ever had one autism meltdown that didn't come straight after an ADHD meltdown. Usually I'll get yelled for doing something I either didn't mean to or didn't do at at all causing my hypersensitivity to loud noises to kick in and me to start crying and yelling for a minute before my voice fully escapes me and I lose the ability to look anywhere but the ground as eye contact suddenly feels like a death sentence as I just run my fingers through my hair waiting for it to all pass
same
This honestly makes alot of sense, I think of my autism as more of an electrical current, partly because people always said I was 'wired' differently but also because when I am overwhelmed its like the static buzz, everything is blurry and no matter what I do I cant seem to get a clear picture or focus to get back to being able to speak and breathe normally
Me either
Do you physically feel like your vision is blurry ? Sometimes I get that
I always feel like my brain is shorting out. I agree its like electricity and mis wired somehow
@misstere5132 that sounds more like a medication side effect but whose to say how you experience things is not right haha
@@orangesnowflake3769 what kind of medication? I'm not on any but thats interesting. Its how I have experienced overwhelm my whole life
I always describe sensory overload like my head is full of bees. It's nice to hear someone describe it in the same way how i think it really feels!
Losing the ability to speak! It’s very cool to hear somebody talk about this 👏🏽
This has happened to me. I thought it was due to PTSD but I wasn't diagnosed with autism yet. Now I know that it is autism.
I've always used "head full of bees" to describe my sense of being overwhelmed. I mean, back in the 80s, nobody understood what I meant. It took until a couple years ago for someone to acknowledge it's a common symptom for ASD.
I am autistic and I recieved my adhd diagnosis last week! Thank you for all your lovely videos and for helping me learn more ❤😊🎉
Thank you for explaining this.
It's the perfect description of what I've experienced & didn't know how to explain even to myself.
Being an AuDHD adult and knowing that meltdowns are a perfectly normal thing for us is actually really comforting and validating to help me know that I'm not alone
Oh I had both and I realized the difference as well. My adhd ones are like an episode of mania I suddenly make irrational descions and get extremely vile online or let my intrusive thoughts take over. My autistic ones is where I can’t function at all and have extreme panic and anxiety attacks where I need to isolate and be left alone for hours on end or I will bust. Lucikly these are controlled now but they do come and go every few months. I meditate now and it really helps but it took me a month of meditating to help regulate or at least start regulating more often. I’m still working on getting rid of some bad compulsive stims but it’s gonna take years so trying to be patient with myself
This was an excellent explanation. I have been trying to help my son find the words to describe his meltdowns, and he also has adhd and is Autistic. It also helped me see the differences in the meltdowns for us both.
I really appreciate you and your cander.
Thank you for clarifying that. I do apparently experience both, and I've been calling them panic attacks and mood swings which is the language I learned around trauma and mental health.
Correct diagnosis reduces self-shaming and self-gaslighting SO much!
This, finally! I've been seeing so much explaining ADHD *or* ASD, and nobody else has explained why sometimes my meltdowns are very different. Thank you so much for clarifying this!
As a kid I had many ASD meltdowns from overstimulation and ADHD meltdowns seldom came up. As a young adult, ADHD meltdowns have become much more common and are made worse by PTSD, and my ASD meltdowns have switched to shutdowns
For me (adhd) I cry. Im 45 and only starting to realize why I cry "for no reason" sometime. (No good reason) im lucky i work with really nice people and cold really calms me for some reason (im always hot when metling down idk why) and i work in a grocery store so if a coworker sees me crying softly in the corner of the cooler they know ill be fine soon. 😅
Thank you! This is a well thought out definitition of both!! I very rarely have meltdowns, but I am autistic, diagnosed as an adult, so its difficult to explain to my family who are used to my decades younger brother's adhd meltdowns that I dont want their physical comfort and that their explanations dont help at all! I know full well what is happening and why! They struggle to understand that, collectively, their cigarette smoke, persistent coughs, ear-splitting laughs and 12 conversations at once while im cooking are just too much for my brain to cope with! Just get out of my kitchen!!! Haha
Brilliant video.
Thank you, I didn't know about ADHD meltdowns. Explains a lot. ❤
That bee head made me nauseous. The opposite of a visual stim
Thank you so much for posting this. I had anxiety all my life and always thought I had anxiety attacks. I recently was diagnosed with ADHD and I have some autistic traits like overstimulation. Now I realize that ADHD meltdowns are real so I know where I can start to try to treat this. I was recommended antipsychotics to help with this which my doctor thinks is a mood disorder. I just need to address the meltdowns and anxiety but I don't feel like changing my whole brain with meds.
Thank you for explaining this! I’m both too, but my husband is only ADHD. I’m sure he has meltdowns sometimes, but because they don’t look like mine (mine present mostly on the autistic side), he refuses to believe it. Hopefully this can help us.
My therapists used to tell me my meltdowns (the bees) were like a teapot.
In the moment your ADHD is like a stop and go car. You go through the intersection and flip off the people who cut you off or get in your lane, etc. It's like you're filling up with rage but only in the moment.
The Autistic aspect is the teapot. Everything is fine, you feel okay. The over time, the masking the coping and everything you do doesn't help and finally you just explode and want to be left alone. You don't want anyone to touch you or talk to you, you just want to be in your own world to NOT have to think about anything.
It's a weird combo to have. You know?
Thank you for explaining it. I understand in analogies. I have to experience something in order to understand it. ❤
I wrote a poem in highschool called "Hive" that looking back was basically about how it feels to constantly hold back meltdowns and mental distress until they "sting through" leaving a "fiery and blistered exterior" (aka an external meltdown).
This was maybe 2 years before I started exploring Autism. At that point my diagnosis record looked like ADHD, Social Anxiety disorder, and dysthymia. I got an "educational" diagnosis of Autism my senior year of highschool (I phrase it like that because they did do testing with professionals but it's technically not recognized the same as a medical evaluation).
From the age of FOUR years old it's been identified that I have sensory processing issues, fairly severe executive dysfunction, low muscle tone and coordination difficulties. They assumed It was all just a developmental delay and I would grow out of it . Still to this day those are my most obvious traits.
It's been about three years since then of non-stop research, and cycling through acceptance and intense imposter syndrome. And yes, in case you're wondering; I am a woman and I grew up in a rural area in my early childhood 🙃
EDIT: it's worth noting that I was masking my ASS off during my testing because I was nervous and didn't know better. I just went into my "talking to professional adults I don't know" mask (it's the same persona I use for job interviews now lol). And I STILL meet the qualifications.
Your talk about the poem was very interesting. I know I wrote some pretty depressed poems in high school, but I don’t remember what they were about. I do remember my book report on Catcher In The Rye, where I summarized the theme as being Holden Caufield wandering in search of a respite from the expectations of society, a goal which was briefly and imperfectly achieved by his apparent breakdown- which made it temporarily acceptable for him to rest, if in a hospital, though the expectations that he pull himself together and get back to it resurfaced almost immediately. I suspect I was the only one who interpreted the book in ways that had nothing to do with the teacher’s views. I remember her talking to the class about how “Holden is smarter than you or I.” And I remember thinking that, while I didn’t feel that the character was unusually smart, I did identify with him a lot, and since she was one of the few teachers who really took a dislike to me and my traits, and singled me out, I seriously doubted she would have liked a Holden in real life. I’ve occasionally wondered what she thought of my report.
Thank you for this. I am trying to think if I have had one without the other. Probably. But I’m recently diagnosed and have only noticed meltdowns when they are really really really bad (like humiliating myself in public) and those have definitely been what you described as combined AuDHD meltdowns.
I didn't realize ADHD meltdowns were a thing. I'll have to watch for those too. I know I have autistic meltdowns, which for a long time I mistakenly thought were flashbacks due to my PTSD. But they are quite a different experience, not triggered by the same things and are helped by different strategies. Of course, sometimes a meltdown causes a flashback or the other way around.
I'm grateful for people explaining these differences. Before I knew I was having meltdowns, I would get really distressed and down on myself that none of what I'd worked on and learned in therapy was helping. I felt helpless, which would sometimes lead into an actual flashback. Now I'm able to tell the difference usually and even catch meltdowns early and do things to help myself so they don't get so bad. It's helped my management of the PTSD, though I honestly still find that harder and sometimes have to resort to rescue medication (beta blockers in my case).
Knowing about and understanding all these experiences is so important, thank you for sharing!
I need to rewatch this several times to decipher everything you said in my brain. But just the pause with the loading icon... I have to say... I need that in my life!!! 😂😂😂 Especially when people are waiting for a response from me and it's just taking time to load! Love it!!! I can't find an emoji for that. We need an emoji for that!!!! 🔘⭕️🔅🔁 😂
Ive never considered I could have some form of autism but recently found out that adhd and autism are highly linked and seeing videos like this that I relate to has expanded my search for understanding how i process things.
You just described me perfectly. I cannot thank you enough for this. I haven't had a way to let my husband and kids know what the heck is going on with me. I have ADHD meltdowns frequently: It feels like my brain has been turned off and there's just static buzzing there. I lose my speech capacity for this every time. My emotional autism meltdowns, and even just strong emotions, don't happen often, but when they do, they always lead to ADHD overwhelm and I lose speech then, too. I also lose speech during migraines.
We have a much-needed code phrase that I can actually use during this time. It's actually based on the first thing I said when it started getting bad. I was trying to say I couldn't talk, but something else came out. So now our phrase is, "I can't word/brain," or, "I can't word/brain good."
I was so embarrassed of this for the longest time, until all three of my kids ended up using their own versions of it. My two younger children have autism, ADHD, and OCD, exactly like their mom. (Hi!) And my oldest is very glad we don't share any genetic material (I adopted him, and I'm lucky as all get-out to have him), but he gets serious migraines. They all use permutations of the phrase now, and it's been beautiful seeing them be able to self-exam their current mental and physical selves and identify when they are having particular issues. It's made me realize that losing my words is huge to me because I'm an author and poet, and they are intrinsic to my self-expression. It has also made me learn that having this happen is not a bad thing, and that being able to identify it is a gift and a blessing, not an embarrassment. It has also helped my family identify each other's problems before we need to say the code phrase. It's a good thing. I just never realized it.
I didn’t thought Adhd could have meltdowns
I’m on the waiting list for an autism assessment at the moment, and you’ve described how my autistic meltdowns feel perfectly, it’s like a fuzzy haze all over you and you can’t focus apart from on escaping somehow.
My ADHD diagnosed best friend thinks I have ADHD too, I’m starting to see it myself the more I learn and it’s interesting you say about emotional overwhelm being ADHD as I experience that a lot and it comes out as anger or upset explosions rather than hitting myself or stimming excessively. Thanks for another interesting and engaging video ❤
i tend to get shutdowns from overstimulation, especially from like negative feelings, and the only way i can describe it is like that self pouring liquid stuff. my brain gets filled up and when it starts to overfill it all comes pouring out
I've never heard a more perfect explanation of this before. You just read my existence!
Another thing about ADHD shutdowns (btw I have ADHD so this is pre hand) is that you are unable to move or speak so it is physical just that you can’t move. You can’t chose to come out of it. It takes a while. Once while I was in a shutdown, everything went blurry and I couldn’t do anything about the bully opposite me who told me that she would go away from this pug before she exploded. (She was talking about me btw.) hope this helps and please let me know if there is anything to add to this. Like and comment this if you agree with me.
I had a double meltdown last week. I just got a puppy 2 weeks ago. She is now a 12-week old Mastiff puppy. Once she is grown, she will be a mobility service dog for me. My mom said that it is my job to care for and train her. My brother paid for the puppy and has spent the most on her supplies so far. My mom has promised to pay for her training program once my grandpa's estate is settled.
After a week of trying to take care of this puppy primarily on my own, with some help from my brother, I had a meltdown. Molly had needed to go outside to go potty, but some of the neighborhood dogs were barking. This scared Molly and she refused to go potty in the yard. I brought her back inside and within 2 minutes, she had piddled on the floor once again, so I took her back outside. She still refused to go potty as the dogs continued to bark. Meanwhile, I'm feeling very overwhelmed, frustrated, and tired. I look inside to see my brother cleaning up the piddle puddle, but my mom just continued to sit in her recliner, watching TV. She was completely disengaged from what was going on around her. That tipped me over the edge. I came inside, screamed at my mom to either help me or we needed to return the dog because I couldn't do this by myself. I'm not functioning like I normally do because all my brain power is focused on what Molly needs and trying to prevent potty accidents. It's like having a newborn and a curious toddler all rolled into a puppy.
Apparently, what my mom had meant was that she wouldn't take on the majority of caring for Molly until Molly and I were fully bonded. She didn't articulate this to me until after my meltdown. I was mentally and emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted because our house isn't puppy-proof, so there is no real relaxing until we go to bed.
Fortunately, my mom realized I was in a meltdown and let me go through it so that I could get better control of my emotions and talk properly again. Once we were on the other side of the meltdown, we were able to talk about all of it. We are not returning Molly. Mom is doing a better job of helping me keep an eye on Molly to reduce the number of accidents in the house. We are going through a lot of changes in our house right now, which certainly wasn't helping.
You don't understand how much you just helped me understand myself better. thank you.❤
Thank you for being so honest and sharing what you go through, it really does help others feel less alone and helps them explain what they are going through if they don't know how to put it into words ❤
Happened today. I was doing fine lol 😅 then found out someone was messing with my stuff at home who doesn’t respect my boundaries or personal things. This triggered the rage and anger, feels of overwhelm and anxiety. Once I realized my emotions took over I suddenly became so much more overstimulated and noticed the lights, noise, temperature and my shoes! I was doomed from the first moment. 😩
Thank you for explaining how it is with the 2 for you. I hate when they feed eachother. You did such a great job explaining this. I never knew how to put in words but yours...perfect! Thank you
I have adhd, NLD and asd I really can relay on that. In the past I had more emotional melt downs. Now I have more autistic meltdowns, I understand now why I hit my head in the past when I had a meltdown. Why I sometimes start to stutter when I have a meltdown.
Most of the time I scream silently and cover my mouth so nobody sees. It feels like screaming, but sounds like a faint and strange sort of whistle
I'm so sorry. ❤ Either way, that is a lot of melting down. Sincere compassion. Hoping you find the right care. Here in the US, neurofeedback and Mindfulness training and meditation studies show positive outcomes in people struggling with both of the conditions you mention. All the best to you. Peace.
Thank you for expressing your experience. When I was a child, I would shut down when confronted with anything. I didn't know how to tell people why I did things.
I am a little better now, but still have a time expressing hurt or neglect.
i just want to say as a new viewer that you look SO good with your short hairstyle. I began watching you with long hair before stumbling on recent videos. So happy to hear that you’re nonbinary and generally just rock and rolling as your true self. In the past you spoke of feeling unsure of who you really are underneath the mask, so I just want to say the authentic you is awesome.
Your description for ADHD meltdown is right on for me. Both descriptions really resonate. None of the psych doctors I told about this *ever* appeared to recognize or understand what I was talking about.
They often don't know much about autism.
This makes so much sense to me.... I know someone with ADHD... The meltdowns very much manifest similarily, mhm. For them its shouting, but also slamming or banging things in frusteration, and getting very very frusterated...Then feeling overall bad and like not wanting anyone to see it. The hardest part besides the explosive unable to deal with anything throughout...And not being able to do anything to help soothe them, has to be the nasty things this person will at times lash out with. I feel helpless in those moments all I can do is sit there and just take it....I've tried to excuse myself but they just harp on me that I overreact... The whole 'you're just sensitive' reaction...
And then there's me... Learning that there's a very low chance I am not on the autistic spectrum... And the more I look into it in general to be educated, the more I relate...
I can actually think back to times I had the overload and even was rendered speechless. Other times I just wnt to hide under my bed or in my closet as a means no one will find me not even the mirrior for awhile. Just hide away until everything my system is feeling calms down and the world feels tolerable again...
Hearing this just resonated like I finaly have an explaination to it all. Right down to ADHD Meltdown can kick off an Autistic Meltdown. It seems that way between myself and this person but now I understand WHY, Thank you so much.
I bet it can be rough at times to be both, I am wishng you the best.
Thank you so much for this! My youngest has meltdowns and we've been trying to figure out if she has autism or ADHD, but she acts very different from her ADHD sister, who is very hyperactive. But the way you describe the ADHD meltdowns are exactly how she acts. Then we'll look into testing for absent ADHD. This was very helpful. Thank you so much!
this is so eye opening for my own life. thank you.
Yes the "loosing the ability to speak" thing happens to me too and is sooo frustrating ane embarassing
For my ADHD meltdowns I tend to pick at the newly shaved/cut bits of hair under the longer bits and sometimes when my hair there hasn't been cut I have an autistic meltdown from not being able to cope.
I've been diagnosed with both and my meltdowns seem to be a blend of both.
What a good explanation! Well said! That resonates with a lot of people I am sure. And it will be helpful to many more who are neurotypical and want to understand those who are neurodivergent (in this case ADHD or ASD). Thank you.
No more Head-bees!
I totally get the head beast thing as soon as you said that I laughed and totally recognize myself in that.
I’m totally OK with the yellow and black ones that pollinate flowers- the head bees seem to only pollinate grief
for me it can be different sometimes, like sometimes it’s autistic meltdown and sometimes it’s adhd meltdown but often, it sorta starts out as adhd meltdown?? like idk how to say it, I just start out as emotional and destroying stuff and then just, feel like someone took all my emotions away and stare off into space numbly while still feeling upset and exhausted
I came from your addiction video being clean for 7 months and I didn't realise you had autism or ADHD, I recently got diagnosed with both and I'm currently trying to give up the same addiction ❤️ very inspiring 😢😢😢 ❤️🧡💛💚
Also being 24 turning 25 I still experience ADHD and autism meltdowns and often hit my head so I'm also trying to get a handle over those! ❤
ADHD meltdown ➡️ to Autistic shutdown ➡️ to AuDHD burnout
This has helped me identify with my (greatly suspected) autistic side more than anyother adhd versus asd video. I didn’t know there was a difference. Now I know I experience both. I cannot thank you enough.
I didn’t know negative stimming was a thing, but it makes sense.
I am autistic and possibly have ADHD too (not confirmed yet, but I strongly suspect it) and never made that formal distinction, although I was always aware that some kinds of stimming might include that someone's hurting themselves. It's very real.
The bees 🐝 is so on point 😂 who’s been filling my head with these bees?! 😡 dang it!
As a grown woman who has experienced these repeatedly, the same behaviours, plus self biting, scratching, bruising, relationship harm from shouty behaviour, my whole life… thank you for your honesty and openness. I feel this is really taboo and shameful. I have neither of the diagnoses. I usually control my episodes now with antihistamine medication. Much better than in the past when I did not know about MCAS
I understand what you mean. I was just on another channel that was talking about Self-Injurious Behaviors, and there were a lot of people of all adult ages talking about their experiences. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, but it was comforting to know it is experienced by many others.
Interesting about the antihistamines. I’ve taken those for seasonal allergies most of my life, largely in the spring for tree pollen. Some years ago I stumbled on a discussion among people who experienced varying levels of depression from different antihistamines, and since I tend to be depressed at that time of year, I tried using them as minimally as I could, but did not see a difference. It was only about a year ago that I found out histamines are neurotransmitters, at which point the seasonal depression started to make more sense. I also have an old friend who always suffered from both allergies and depression.
I too have ADHD and Autism I often have meltdowns I cry ,yell or I just shut down
As someone who was diagnosed with adhd very young and autism later this is very helpful. They were always confused by my different types of meltdowns. My parents were awesome some teachers too most weren’t.
I've experienced both but predominantly its the emotional one mixed with intense dread at social interaction that i spent christmas day bymyself for safety.
I used to listen to the 1800 seconds on autism podcast. I think one of the presenters explained the difference between a meltdown and a shutdown (i think this is the wording they used) which I also found interesting.
Adhd: too much is going on and im not happy about it at all
Asd: my brain is malfunctioning now
I love the bee analogy. That's exactly how it can feel sometimes.
My son 23 yearshas autisme and I 58 years have adha, and your are so right . There for i try to not go near danger, but have developed angseirti. Not easy but we get along
I completely get this as my meltdowns are predominantly with my Autism however the ADHD ones have surfaced later in life as has aspects that I feel are ADHD due to trauma
Wow, as a mum of an autistic daughter and a daughter with ADHD (and possibly also autism), I recognise this explanation completely!!
Your videos are priceless. Thank you!
I don't know, I just love your hair everytime I see it... So beautiful!!❤❤❤.
Worst stimmìng experience I've had was during a melt down I clawed at my skin very had it hurt and wasn't fun, I still feel kind of sad looking back
I think for me my adhd meltdowns are emotionally charged and im more likely to collapse where i stand and cry, whereas autistic meltdowns are definitely sensory based and im more likely to either simply fall asleep, or try to hide, need the dark etc to remove as much stimulation as possible. I didnt really know about adhd meltdowns before so its good to understand the difference
Your hair looks beautiful again! 😍🥰 I never knew there was a difference between the two types...
For me, I hadn't made the bees connection, though it does make sense (the buzzing that drowns everything else out). For me, I had equated it more with "static"/interference and/or having the "fortress of solitude" wall come up (or suddenly come down) and would make it hard to think and even see clearly, like being in a protective bubble or fog (or foggy bubble, yet more open, only when I'd also get anxious would it close in and feel claustrophobic), like a sheer white curtain that would come in/down/around me, and I could still kind-of see, but not as clearly. More often than not, it felt like being in my own little world/dimension, while everything else went on around me, yet couldn't quite process it all.
The more of these videos I see, the more I feel like the life I've known has started to make sense to me.
For the longest time, I just kept being treated/told that I was ”weird/from another planet" or just dismissed.
This (these videos/community), now, feels so validating!
My ADHD meltdowns are the company deferent lol I just sit down overthink and cry as the moment that triggered it replays I'm my head and Im also overthinking on things that are barely connected to what triggered it I forgot to mention I go completely nonverbal
Ive been questioning for years if I have both autism and ADHD everytime I watch a video pretaining to AUDHD I resonate more and more. Definetly trying to get tested.
This is great, my 9yr old has both and it can absolutely flow from one to the other.
Thank you very much for the terminology, you helped me a lot!
AuDHD person here, whose symptoms are so intertwined they are basically just one nebulous disorder. It is hard to know what to ascribe to autism or ADHD because whenever I try to make that distinction it must be made using external ideas of what the two separate disorders should look like in practice instead of the soup of emotions and sensations that it can actually be. I know it makes it easier to talk to neurotypical folks when there are clinical hard-line definitions for these, but I've found in my human experience (in both having it and having friends who have it) Autism and ADHD seem to become one in these moments simply due to the overlap in how they can have similar triggers or even trigger each other.
More and more explanations are good
I haven't been diagnosed but my friends and sister have both said I definitely "radiate the Autism and the ADHD".
From memories and seeing familiar reactions, autism was mainly shown from feeling overwhelmed from surrounding, people, and needing to be alone, when I was alone, I would scream more than cry. It wasn't angry screaming, more like I was holding back for too long as I do not cry often. I would have tears, but I didn't sound like I was crying. Just screaming. I never know what is wrong mentally, I know emote.
I assume ADHD was from feeling confused and overwhelmed by "what do I do" as I do recall times where I would be in class, ESPECIALLY pratical lessons such as science experiments or construction. I would be looking around, because even though it was explained, shown, I would be so hesitant because I just didn't understand despite knowing. It might have been fear from messing up, too. I hated being confronted by teachers due to just wanting to get by without being scolded. It never went to emotions, though. It was always in my head. I would be internally freaking out.
This is kind of just assuming, though. Since I do not have any diagnosis except diagnosed friends and a sister telling me "yeah you're very in the spectrum"
I was literally told by an internet friend that I radiate autism. In a good way don't worry xD
I was also a late bloomer in every single way possible.
Born a week late. (This one is just a joke lol but it is insane that I was such a late arrival)
Did not walk for a year-ish, also did not speak for a year, as well.
I have been very dependent, still kind of am, I am very scared of being on my own.
Like you know that feeling you just know you have it yet don't want to assume? It's kind of like that with me. I'm 90% sure I have both, but I don’t know.
Also, my sister is assuming ADHD is genetic as my dad is vERY ADHD. He isn’t diagnosed (he's in his late 40s) but he shows a lot of the common symptoms. Can't be still for too long, he needs to move, he will zone out while watching his shows and he said to me the other day "I gotta rewatch Brooklyn-99 again. I am pretty sure I missed a few episodes."
He will always be moving his leg when he is sitting down. Always. He kind of pauses for a minute, and then his leg just vibrates.
The last part about an ADHD meltdown triggering an autistic meltdown was interesting. As it happens, I think I’ve done it that way, but based on your descriptions, more often the other way around. When I feel trapped and overwhelmed, I can go to freeze or flight, but if I perceive that I cannot flee, that’s when I go to fight and yell.
Hitting myself falls in two camps as well: intense frustration is when I pound on my legs. Maximum internal overwhelm is when I might hit my head.
I can relate. I have both and most of the time the adhd meltdown lead to autistic meltdown.
Makes so much sense my adhd meltdown are emotionally charged something simple as my children fighting can trigger overstimulation in my body and brain sometimes it even feels painful and I become emotionally charged from it.
I have been using the bee analogy for years!
Meanwhile, I dont even understand the difference between emotionally charged overwhelm and bee overload.... It all happens combined to me...
I also read the comments but still don't understand. Can somebody talk me through?
(Diagnosed ADHD, suspected Autism and/or CPTSD)
I actually never knew hitting yourself was considered a sort of negative stemming.
My laptop updated on its own and defaulted the browser to yahoo instead of google chrome, and i couldn't figure out how to turn it back and got emotionally overloaded and had a meltdown at school, so that was... fun. Managed to freak out a friend by sort of headbutting a wall (i was fine, managed to slow down enough to not hurt myself and did manage to get the correct browser back)
Diagnosed with adhd when 46. Not diagnosed with autism, but suspected since I was 21. Hard to distinquish, but from inside, it seems adhd are fight reactions, and asd are flee or freeze reactions. I can usually sit there like a bump and take a dressing down, but if any physical agession breaks out, woe be to the agressor. As a result, my confused friends don't understand why I am fearful of tests and telephone conversations, but can walk the streets of Philly and Dallas after dark alone.
Today i had and autistic shutdown. The first in months! Arrived london, get into the tube and flop! Even a good woman let me sit on her place...i rarely go non verbal, but man! I couldnt talk for a whole two hours! What a beautiful way to start the holidays
i’m not going to self diagnose, but im pretty sure i have it. i’ve been told i seem like i have it. i relate to the adhd meltdown because of earlier today when i was having a meltdown over my brother