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The Real Reason AFRICAN Men Date BLACK AMERICAN Women But NEVER Marry Them?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ส.ค. 2023
- #dating #culture
A subscriber asked us a very interesting question about dating and marriage within different nationalities within the black community. We gave our honest take on the topic! Watch and lets continue the conversation down below.
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I agree with you ladies wholeheartedly….As a Black American man I’ve never wanted to marry anyone other than a Black American woman…. I have had some experiences with Nigerian women but I knew it wasn’t something serious from the very beginning…Just as many Nigerian men have their sexual fun with Black American women then go on to marry their own women….It goes both ways…
Interesting! If you dont mind me asking why were your experiences with Nigerian women not serious?
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi Good question… Honestly, it’s for the same reasons that you’re describing and discussing…. Cultural differences and also the women didn’t want anything too serious either… It’s not as if we got to the point of meeting each other’s families or anything…. I’m an older Black American man with advanced degrees…I was totally into the “We’re all Black.” When I was younger and studied Black American and African history in college… That all changed when I worked with many Nigerians in NYC…I was heartbroken to see how many of them felt about Black Americans… I’d often overhear Nigerian men denigrating Black American women as being easy… My feelings changed immensely…. I totally understand that there are some wonderful Nigerians and other Africans as well …But I’d get angry when they come to America and act superior, arrogant, and talk about how great their culture is and all the while Nigeria has been, and remains, one of the poorest nations in the entire world… Just imagine if several thousand Black Americans moved to Nigeria and talked negatively about your culture, women, and how you do things in your own country….All the while acting smug and arrogant towards the Nigerian natives…. Please try to see things from both sides..Many, many, Black Americans stress education, achievement, and want success for their children also… And trust me I would not be happy if my own daughter came home with a Nigerian man…..
Wow thanks for the honesty. Yes unfortunately some Nigerians look down on AA but its a result of ignorance or limited experiences. I think exposure is important and it goes both ways. Thanks for watching!
My African husband and I have been married for 23 yrs and been together for almost 30, but I recognize this is not a common occurrence.
Yup! It does happen though! I see it a lot in North Carolina!
It is kinda funny that you said you see it a lot in South Carolina. I was told in 1991 in Ghana that if I want to marry in the US, look to South and North Carolina. "They are like us" i was told @@EJIMANnenaNgozi
Yes, the length of your marriage to an African from a Black American is not a common occurrence. Most marriages between Black American and African don’t last as long, they typically end up getting divorced.
Interesting! At the end African men play games with us all. No one is safe 😂
💯💯💯
Facts!!!!
@@nikkimcmahan7935 yes as a Nigerian American I can pick up on the nonsense quicker but they still play us too! I don’t want black American women thinking they are alone 😂😂😂
@@nubiann104 I was originally perplexed by the title of this video lol. I was thinking in what world & which Black American women. I seen your comment and was pleased 😅. I married an Iranian/Hispanic man and it’s just a matter of alignment. When it is your person, it is your person no matter how unlikely the union is.
@nikkimcmahan7935 Iranian/Hispanic nice! Do you mind sharing how yall met?
I came to the US for college ( from Nigeria) at 18 and was sure that i would not marry a Nigerian. My Nigerian family is very unique- most of my family married non- Nigerians.
I was open to and tried dating black American guys. However , for me there is a cultural difference and our core values were not in alignment.
I met and married a Nigerian whose core values are aligned with mine.
Makes sense! Did you watch our latest video?! I don’t know of any Igbo women in my mom’s generation who married outside of Igbo men tbh. But I know many Igbo men who did.
Right now, the reverse is the case. Igbo Women are the most intermarriage in Nigeria while the Men marry mostly Igbos. Igbos are the most monogamous in Nigeria so the Women have no option than to marry out, yet we still have the highest number of single Women
Very interesting!
Marriages work better when the core values and religion is aligned+ with the person for sure. These things cannot be ignored.
Agreed!
You all also have to understand our history here in America is tainted our men have actually never been able to be men the woman is actually treated on put above the man which is a slap in the face but also understand how uncomfortable it is walking around everyday knowing your life can be taken for no reason be it male or female. Another point to make the same hood movies they show of us are the same show about Africa adding the starving children but luckily I come from an era where picking up a book and paying attention let me know otherwise what’s being shown isn’t the full truth.
Yes context is key!
Better to marry someone who share the same common values with you and understand the importance of family. Yes we’re all black but with different cultures. African women are more family oriented and conservative so African men prefer going back home to marry from their roots. In Africa it takes a community to raise a kid most African women understand this which makes them more preferable
Exactly. Marrying one here comes with too much risk. 9 out of 10 of them will take the child and never let you see them over trivial stuff and ruin his legacy and bank account.
@leeolie3728 oh stop this. This narrative is tired. Most Women dont leave “perfect men” for no reason. Please dont push this one sided narrative.
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi You’re one of those that doesn’t like truth I see. Oh well
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi😂😂 where is the perfect man or perfect woman ? Majority actually leaves that’s why many Nigeria men are now wise when it comes to marriage
Yes but its usually for a valid reason. Men have to be accountable. Its too convenient to blame women for leaving situations that do not serve them.
Am African married to a AA for five yrs now i can see what alot of AFrican people are saying ! So am i wrong ? I take her at an individual bases ie case to case.
I agree it is case by case. We should try not to generalize
There’s a lot of layers to this conversation. And I believe this should be a series. There is at least 1 thing that each one of us listening can take away from this conversation.
I love black American women but I dont think I can leave African women.
Africans are to blame for the diaspora in the first place. Just came back from Ghana. But for you’ll trusting the whyte man so much we would’ve never been shipped off to a foreign world being stripped of our entire identity. I blame Africans.
Please don’t..And I’m sure you don’t love Black American women…. I have absolutely no problem with you staying true to your culture, tribal affiliations and your country..However there’s a reason so many Nigerians have to leave their great country for greener pastures in other countries around the world…. All the time while saying, “ Nigerians don’t carry last.”
AS a black American man,
i was raised by my father.
my older brothers was raised by my mothers.
Emotionally we are totally different. i think different than them
i went to college they did not, one dropped out of highschool
Both were criminals and convicts.
My life would look totally different if i was raise by a single mom.
Interesting!
People can and have the choice to marry who they want to. Point blank. We are in 2023. I’ve seen and heard African men say they don’t like African women and that’s their preference. What matters is what’s in the heart. Idc where you are from. It’s too many narcissists and users out here and they come from all over the world.
Majority of the time when an African man says he doesn't like African women he is lying. Africa has 54 countries. African men love to use that line on weak American women so they can sleep with them. I would never take anyone seriously with something negative to say about themselves. The same way an AA man says he doesn't like AA women b/c they're masculine and prefer Latinos/whites. That's a major red flag to me.
I will tell you something else, A BIG THING IS CULTURE LIKE YOU SAID. Being with an AA woman will require you explaining day in day out of why we do this in our culture. Many of them would not understand why we send money to friends and family back home they will think we do not want to spend o them ughhhh so stressful.
Yup even as a Nigerian American some cultural things annoy me! However I understand because I was raised seeing my family do it.
@@ogakemmy5634 That’s why I, just as most Nigerians, prefer my own people and my own women…. I agree with the cultural differences…I’ve been involved with several Nigerian women and it was very difficult for me too…..
As an AA raised in Kenya and Zimbabwe- I agree it is mostly a class and values compatibility issue
Interesting. I understand values but class varies within all cultures. What do you mean by class?
Black Americans are just being seen as a different culture and tribe.
But that's normal in Africa to stay in the tribe, just like Indians like to stay to their tribe and race...but the cast system has something against colour. ❤
Even as Christians, similar it's best to seek someone who is close to your concept of life and beliefs. ❤
Exactly!
A friend once told me it is better to marry someone from your culture to have the same morals, ideals, beliefs and aspirations. Sorry to say this but AA Women are not trained the way Nigeria women are. It is very rare to see an AA Woman who is Traditional in this modern time. I have had two friends who have had very terrible experience's with AA women because of their rude combative behavior. I blame all these City girls and social media influencers who have poisoned the minds of young black American women making them masculine.
Oh wow that is interesting. It really depends on where you live too within the U.S. I find down south the women are more traditional.
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi Lmaooo more traditional with behavioral patterns of SexyRed, Young Miami(caresha) suhkiyana, Glorilla and all those lost souls.
All Nigerian women not trained in values and morals and the way you’ll bleach your skin…don’t even love the skin you’re in. Stop being a hater
This is a crazy topic. I’m black American and married to a Nigerian man. I know several black women married to Nigerian men
What is “crazy” about the topic?
Remember that is your experience. The majority of Nigerian men use non-Nigerian women and then go back and marry their own. You can find countless stories about this on Facebook, TH-cam, TikTok, etc.
@@YouSeeMeNow966 because you are unfortunate with yours doesn't make it generic. What kind of woman are you to him. too?
I’m a Black American man with advanced degrees… I once believed in the whole Pan African movement until I began working with many Nigerians in NYC in the early 1990’s…I quickly learned and realized how many of these Nigerians and other Africans feel/felt about Black Americans!!!! I would overhear the Nigerian men speaking so disrespectfully about my Black American women.. However, many Black American women are fascinated with these Nigerian and other African men…But, unfortunately I heard these African men saying how much easier it was to sleep with American Black women in America than their own Nigerian or African women…Yes, they will sleep with many Black American women then marry their own women!!!Leaving many Black American women upset and heartbroken and feeling used for a green card or citizenship…I have neither empathy nor sympathy for those Black American women!!!!
@@YouSeeMeNow966Absolutely!!!!💯💯💯
I came here as a teenager single as well as a lot of my friend. We all in our late 20’s now. Most if not all have went back home to get married after dating blk American for years. If you ask them or African men in the US in general why , they long answer can be shortened to they « talk »(whether it is to talk back, to give opinions that you didn’t ask , to respond to things that are not questions…etc . African men hate peoples who talk, worse women who talk .
Yeah it’s common for men to go back home to get wives in my parents time but now I don’t see it as often!
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi I don’t count the one that are born here. I live in a big beninese community here in Colorado and I see it every day, I’ve been here for 7 years and out of hundreds of them just two married blk Americans like 3 years ago and they are divorced already.
@@renaudmane164😂😂😂 divorce already
This is so odd to me because all west African women I know especially Nigerian and Ghanaian TALK BACK big time… the men seem to be used to it lol
Interesting point. Are they American born? I ask because sometimes people see American born Africans(like ourselves) as American.
Interesting. As an African American woman, who was raised Mormon, I’m now with an African man who I’ve known for 19 years. He however was born and raised in France as a Muslim and not his native Ivory Coast. I believe because we’ve known each other for so long it helps with our day to day existence. It requires compromise sure, but ultimately we don’t let “cult”ure dictate our ability to communicate our wants and needs.
Compromise is key in any relationship for sure! Happy its working for you. Thanks for watching.
Repent out of those false religions b4 it too late...Iuic on youtube...
@eastcoastbrotha Thank you for your response. I said I was raised Mormon, not that I'm still a practicing Mormon. I am VERY familiar with Hebrew Isrealite doctrine. Surprisingly enough, my partner's family has a lot of oral history about Hebrew Isrealites as they are from the Mandingo tribe of Ivory Coast. I appreciate you looking out.
Feeling like you can’t be yourself or having to down play yourself is an American so called Black women issue as well look at all the BBL’s prime example so your not the only one feeling that way.
I think if u truly want to knw if an african man truly loves u let go of spending on him.tht cn potray that u are desperately want him.if he is genuine let him be a man and don't splash him with monies it's hard to knw genuine intentions then if u do tht .however there are true and genuine African men tht marry African American women and have stayed happily in their marriage I'm a witness to a few ❤
For clarification are you saying that African American women spend or give money to their men?
Green Card.
Lol
How simplistic
Because they eventually pick up the nonsense of black American women that most groups and races already knew. It´s not a coincidence as to why black American women are the least married women while in other cultures that´s not the case. Even outside of the black race a European white man if he dates or marry a black woman it´s usually from Africa or Carribbeans.
What bullshit.
Your hate & blatant ignorance is showing. Therapy is a life changer, especially for addressing those unconscious & conscious biases that we have. Give your mother a big hug and tell her that you love and respect her. If you have not learned at this point in your life that you can’t label an entire race and group of people then it’s time to reach higher.
@@nikkimcmahan7935 Go to Cynthia G and all your black american females and tell them about therapy clearly black men are much better off looking outside of black american women,
@@nikkimcmahan7935 You are spot on.
Are black American men not also largely unmarried?
The financial support thing happens in America as well depending on your status….. Americans understand that. That might be more of an age thing …..
New sub.
Checking in Raleigh, NC (North Carolina), USA.
My wife is from ghana. They were told to marry American black men.
Nice! I think more African women need to open their options to be honest.
@@EJIMANnenaNgoziwe do just not so much to aa men
Am a Nigeria i will marry living in Europe i will love marry Africa American woman
I’m still waiting for an explanation as to why so many Southern Black American women love these foreign Black men knowing that most of the relationships between them don’t end well for the Black American women???
It works for some though. I think its the provider mindset that attract many women.
@@EJIMANnenaNgoziLet me give you an example of how powerful negative stereotypical fallacies influence people’s perceptions, opinions, attitudes and beliefs about Black Americans…All of the women in my family were married. All of them!!!! And the men in my family, generation after generation took care of their families…. I looked out for all of the women in my family when their husbands died… You will not see this in movies, television, etc. Who do you think created many of these HBSU’s that so many Africans attend??? Black American men, and our Black American women…I certainly provide for my family and all of my Black American friends provide for their families as well…In addition, many of my family members and the families of my in laws are all college graduates and some have graduated from Ivy League universities and are Medical Doctors… So to hear that so many African immigrants and migrants continually think Black Americans are all on welfare with children out of wedlock is far from accurate…..
And are lazy to boot… Just look up the Immigration Act of 1965.. Black civil rights activists pressured for the passage of a bill that would allow for the immigration of Africans….Prior to that most immigrants were from Europe or other countries with white populations…..
Interesting conversation ❤… I like Nigerian men but it’s unfortunate igbo men only marry in their culture.
Thank you! Hmmm do you think so? Are you referring to Igbo men born in Nigeria or America? Asking because there is a difference.
america@@EJIMANnenaNgozi
Oh wow interesting!
@@lovely_star1917I know many Igbo men who have married Latinas, Caribbean Black women and African American black women. I’m on the east coast so Dc, Maryland, VA, ATL
@@kirawong4629 Yeah I knew Igbo men who have married Latinas, Caribbean Black women, and African American black women too but I wouldn't go as far as saying many. The majority of the Igbo men prefer to marry their own.
The same reason causing the Passport Bros movement.
I just went through the craziest whirlwind with an African man who's originally from Ghana. It started off so wonderful and I would smile at the mere thought of him. I dreamed about this man. However, he began to judge me soooooo bad. Like, he compared me to African woman a lot. Some of the things he said were honestly degrading, but I tried to keep in mind the cultural barrier between us and how we just needed more time to understand one another. The first day we ever hung out was amazing, the second...even better, but the third was constant judgement about the way I talk, the job I had, the way my hair is, where I'm from, and why (his exact words) "African men won't date black women." He always said things along the lines of "African Women are better than black women." He was literally trying to tear me down and make me feel less than. Growing up, I was taught that African people looked down on African Americans/Black people. So, as he's saying these things, I'm like "What if everything I was taught about African people was right?" It made me sad because I don't care where you're from, as long as it's genuine, even if it takes a little time to understand one another, I'd don't mind dating you and possibly marrying you.
Yet, I don't believe what I was taught because my best friend is married to an African man and they have a beautiful daughter together. He ADORES my friend, his family LOVES her and they even accept me and I'm a goofball. lol Omg, her husband is amazing and their family welcomes my friend (as well as I and her other family) with open arms. They don't judge us, put us down, scowl at us, and when they don't understand something, they ask questions. My friend is so blessed. Her African husband is a gentleman, he's fun, he treats my friend like a flower. He's so careful with her, cherishes her, and the family just does the same. It's amazing.
My point in sharing these two experiences is that my friend found the love of her life, whereas I just ran into someone who judged me and tried to break me down to who he thought I should be. Although there are cultural differences and maybe even some language barriers, it all boils down to who that person genuinely is. I'm not going to stop dating African men just off of one bad experience and I also will not change who I am just because of someone else's standards or judgement. It's important to get to know someone as opposed to just judging them and believing every little thing you hear. Great video! I'm subscribing!
Im sorry you had to experience that! But I love your positive attitude and not letting it stop you from having an open mind moving forward. What country in Africa is your friends husband from? Thanks for subscribing!
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi Thank you 🙏🏾 I enjoyed this video. It was very informative and I really wish a lot of people were more aware of this insight. Their family is from Liberia by the way.
@tyragreene4391 your welcome! I think the country can be a factor because some are more accommodating and used to intermixing with other cultures. Liberians for example have a rich history with Black Americans as many went back there during the Marcus Garvey Back to Africa movement.
Ohhhhh okay. Yea that makes sense then because we’re often taught (black Americans) that all Africans are the same or they teach us about individuals and we’re so unaware of the differences within the cultures as a whole. I think I gotta sharpen my history skills a bit when it comes to African history. Especially with the way things are watered down in school, it’d be much easier to understand when I do my own studying. Listening to what others said about African history growing up, definitely put a notion in my head and I literally was so lost for the longest time.
Yes Africa is a whole continent and so diverse! Even alot of diversity within countries. Keep having an open mind and youll be fine.
I am American Black Man, I have had African women 1st generation interested in me, but i couldnt get pass the accent.
Plus it took me a year to become more compatible with Black American women.
How i was raised as a black american, is way different in how most black women think. I had to level down in order to be compatible.
Level down?
Dude sound drunk
@@tezlaMelly I never been drunk or high in my entire 47 years.
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi Level down.
I'm a black American. I grew up in the middle class. Always on honor roll since elementary school.
In highschool and college my GPA was 3.8
I was very well read and articulate even in 6th and 7th grade..
I had a few black girlfriends. But I mostly attracted white girls and Asian girls because most black American girls would say I talk white or sound white. Plus at one point I use to skateboard and wore skater gear or I dressed really preppy. Even wore suits every Friday in highschool simply because I had so many suits.
I leveled down in there ways.
I started to dress more thuggish
I would dumb myself down around sistas
I wouldnt speak on intellectual topics
I would talk more hood
I hung out with gang members
Got a different haircut
Became a player and that's when alot of black American girls chased me.
I would have groups of white girls and Asian girls chasing me and approaching me when I dressed preppy. Like tommy hill figure and Stacey Adams shoes, Eastland shoes and leather jackets. Even in suits the older white teachers would flirt with me
But when I started wearing Jordans, starter jackets. All black or all red like the bloods that's when black girls noticed me. An when I got the reputation of a player or womanizer I had flood gate of women chasing me.
Level down
Became a thug and hung out with the blood gang
Became a womanizer an had women giving me money
Started to dress thuggish
Started to use cuss words and talk ghetto and hood to be more relatable to women of my race and culture.
Just went from the nice faithful guy who was articulate and intellectual to thuggish guy with swagga and edge.
Some call me pookie and ray ray..
@@tezlaMelly one of my friends never level down an he is married with kids to a white woman.
He tried dating a black girl in highschool but there was never a connection or chemistry because he was too Nice and too preppy. He wasn't thuggish enough. He just didn't have the swagga and edge. An black girls didn't see him to this day as relatable.
I changed who I was an adapted to what sista fall for or are drawn too. I became the guy they want to sleep with in their teens and early 20s. An I'm still that dude to this day.
I level down to thug and hood dude
How I talk to women, act with women, treat women, even dress for women is like a thug.
This work for American sistas
Ladies. This was a good presentation
Thank you!
The sterotypes are real. As a Nigerian,Many of us wouldn't settle
with AA women cuz of popular sterotypes.
Our fears are typically Cuz of Character and Divorce.
In most Nigerian homes, Names matter and
because we need to pass our Surnames down to our Children
Many do not want the troubles of dealing with Women
that takes their kids, manipulate them to hate their fathers
and cut them off from their roots.
A Nigerian Man would marry any woman from any race, country or ethnicity
if she has want he needs in a wife.
Men typically know whom they would marry.
Interesting! Men tend to be more open minded in general to be honest. Women need to learn!
the stereotypes are there on both cultural sides
So following your logic if stereotypes are real does it then follow that all Nigerians are scammers? Or uber intelligent? And the fact that Nigerians come from one of the world’s poorest nations??? Or that Nigerians are disliked amongst other African countries and are also generally disliked by whatever country they go to???? Shall I continue with the many stereotypes regarding Nigeria and Nigerians????
Sooo if I follow your logic and believe stereotypes are real then wouldn’t it follow that all Nigerians are scammers? And that Nigerians are disliked around the African continent as well as other countries around the world??? And that many Nigerian women are involved in certain trades in other countries such as Dubai??? Or even better… Does the same stereotype hold true that Nigeria is one of the poorest countries in the entire world????? So much for stereotypes!!!!
On the opinion that black men don't date other black women are different cultures or ethnic groups most black men are not around other ethnic groups of black women African or Caribbean women my dad married to Caribbean women before he met my mother my uncle was married to a Nigerian woman my other uncles married to a Moroccan woman my brother dated multiple African women so it's not hard it's just that there's more African-American women dating African men because more African men come to the United States and then African women but it's really not that hard
Yup I agree! I have friends who believe African men don’t like African women and purposely don’t date them but I don’t agree!
And yall parents cant live through yall... its yall life yall love who you want
Your right but in my culture you marry a family not a person.
Boiling down compatibly to education is wild. I have 3 masters add completing a PhD... There is no correction with compatibly with education. Period. How does taking GOV 1234 make you a better women to raise my kids 🥴
I think there can definitely be a Correlation. Education usually gives you a different world views. I personally know of MANY black woman who are educated and their partner is not. He may not understand why she wants her kids at a certain private school rather than buying designers etc. It is case by case. As a man it is probably a different dynamic.
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi Most of my family are educated women (MD, JD, Etc.) and they date uneducated men because that's what they like. I went to several universities and it was the same thing there. So, idk how education can be important if everyone dating and having kids with uneducated men. As far as my experience, most women regardless of education do not have the mental capacity or skills to raise kids effectively. Refer to the scientific article"Exploring the Racial Divide in Education and the Labor Market through Evidence from Interracial Families".
Interesting..you think educated black women only like uneducated black men. That is an extreme statement. Have you simply considered that may be what is mostly around them?
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi it's not extreme. It's the truth. It may be different for you as you are Nigerian as far as background but in the African American Community it's wildly known. I used to date a Nigerian and we would discuss this occasionally. I can speak to my experience in hbcus, my sisters, my friends, etc. this is true. Two things can be true at the same time. women may want a guy who does well professionally and educated who's masculine simultaneously while wanting someone who they can overpower in relationship or even maintain their freedom of being single. It's the new age and men have marginal utility in the 21st century. Back in the day woman needed a man who was educated with his head on straight or it would lead to disaster for their family however now that's not the case because women have their own money they can divorce their husband and still live a good life, raise the kids etc. so.picking a good guy is no longer necessary, hence, women are getting with arm candy until they decide that they possibly want a relationship.
@cdshannon23 well said brother !
They do marry them though…
Yes they do. We mention this in the video.
ha yah , unfortunately , african american women are know all around the world now .
Know for?
@@EJIMANnenaNgozi their fucking bad and mad behavior in their country against men .feminists , bossy and masculine women who don't respect their men .you can watch on the net .
and now they are embracing a new ideology : the single mother culture . sad for them .of course , i speak about Modern african american women , not the traditional women .
Ratchet behavior@@EJIMANnenaNgozi
@@masonridgewell8063So damn true! Yet many of them deny it! Smh
Ok then all Africans are 419 scammers @@masonridgewell8063