Frigid Wife (University of Pennsylvania/Ortho Pharmaceuticals, 1972)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 มิ.ย. 2022
- The purpose of this presentation is to present a sexual counseling interview with the goal of "increasing your powers of observation in counseling skills." This objective is achieved with the aid of an accompanying booklet, a clinical subject, the therapist and Dr. Lief, the Director of the Center for Study of Sex Education in Medicine, University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. The program notes that the type of problem presented by the patient in this interview is one which is frequently encountered by physicians and counselors. In this presentation the patient is presented in a twenty minute interview conducted by Dr. Reed, the therapist. She is twenty-five years of age, married for four years and has two children. She appears anxious and tense as she discusses the problem which has caused her to seek professional help; she believes that she may be "frigid." Under skillful questioning she describes incidents which have occurred lately in her marriage which have led to this conclusion and explores with Dr. Reed her relationship with her parents, her sexual education and her courtship, honeymoon and first years of married life, and current problems in her marriage which have contributed to the problem. Dr. Reed first assures her that she is not "frigid" but does have some sex dysfunction and then summarizes the interview with the patient. The viewer is challenged to compare his observations with those of the authors and then is asked to observe certain aspects of interview tactics and interaction during the replay analysis. These aspects include the rapport established; the appraisal made of nonverbal behavior, of interaction and of coping patterns; and the therapeutic responses which include the education of the patient, the reduction of her tension and the motivation for change.
Learn more about this film and search its transcript at NLM Digital Collections: resource.nlm.nih.gov/7600868A
Learn more about the National Library of Medicine's historical audiovisuals program at: www.nlm.nih.gov/hmd/collectio...
#sexuality #medicalhistory #counselling #sexualdysfunction @penn
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My husband told me I had become frigid. he bought a book called good loving better sex. When I got to the chapter that explained a woman needs tenderness and emotional understanding to want to feel desire for him. I showed him. I'd already tried to explain that to him anyway. He was an ass and still insisted it was a 'flaw' I had. He treated me worse and worse as time went on. That made me want him less and less. I ended up hating him and leaving the marriage. Best move I ever made. I went on to have a healthy marriage and sex life.
Good for you. That first dude would have been just as creepy toward any woman he'd wound up with; you just happened to draw the short straw.
@Tracchofyre Who can explain love at first sight? She clearly saw something in the guy that set him off from the crowd (in her eyes), And it's hard to size up the 1970s through the eyes of 2023. Back then, for example, it was uncommon for couples to live together before they got married. If she'd had the opportunity for a trial run with this schlub, Linda might have run the other way before marriage and children made it more complicated to pick up and leave.
@Tracchofyre The divorce rate is hardly all women's fault. Why do men insist upon being wrong men, again and again and again?
@Tracchofyre Nor do women force men to be assholes. We all have choices in life. If it's any consolation, a lot of women are deciding they're not interested in being married at all. Maybe those who do are simply marrying the best men they can find? There's a definite tendency these days, at least in the U.S., for men to wallow in self pity; that's the opposite of attractive.
Glad you got out of that one. He sounds like a right bastard.
Interviewer: When did you start noticing this?
Woman: When my husband started calling me a frigid bitch.
😂😂😂😂
Dude your lucky to get a woman with a face like that
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I would have cheated on him st that time lol.
@@Anna-iu5qo
Yeah, they didn't do that so much back then.
Two kids and Bob is a lawyer.
That is not something that she can just replace.
Plus, she is frigid. She doesn't even think about flicking her bean to relive that tension.
Children and reputation is what mattered most to them.
I remember dating a Lawyer, we got into a disagreement and he said, “how dare you try to debate me, I’m a lawyer!” I realized the belittling had only just begun. I literally stopped speaking right then and never let him have the benefit of my company again.
Well done, you.
So you weren't up to the challenge. THat was his arogance and a test for you. You certainly proved you weren't an equal. If you were up for the chalenge and somehow did debate him and either match or beat him. He simply would have tossed you aside because he wouldn't have been able to control you. Smart move on your part.
@@NosActivated420you are right. I wasn’t his equal. I was so much better. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 I don’t need to win an argument to figure that out.
Good for you!
My ex wanted to be a lawyer and I felt he had a similar narc personality hahah
I love the early seventies vocal patterns of their speech especially hers. The tenor, pronunciation, emotional expression, tone etc. are EXACTLY how people spoke and acted at the time. This is a time capsule and I love it.
I didn’t know it changed, except people now are foul-mouthed.
Robert… you are correct. People, on average, spoke very frankly pausing on occasion collecting their words in a careful manner. Speech patterns were clear no thug type profanity every other word. I so miss the 70’s as I was a kid and teenager in that decade.
@@thorgt8197 I guess I haven’t noticed because of gradual change. I do know that we were taught in the 60s and 70s to write formally; not in everyday speech.
@@thorgt8197 Excellent point.
@@thorgt8197 Also noticed an increase in the word “LIKE” seems overused in conversation often in recent 10-20 years.
A lot of times the person going to counseling is really standing in for someone else who needs it more.
The therapist always takes the wife's side. The husband is usually the one paying for the therapy. The therapist has an incentive to prolong therapy.
ding spot on :o)
@davidparker9676 that's not true. Sounds either anecdotal or like someone who's never actually been in couples therapy.
@@chaoswitch1974 It is well known. Ask some men that have been through couples therapy or ones that are divorced. Therapists are always biased toward the woman. The family courts always side with the wife/mother unless they are clearly out of control on drugs and/or incarcerated.
I don't know if there is an empirical study done on the subject or not. I don't need a peer reviewed study to confirm water is wet.
Call it anecdotal if you want, it is the norm in couples therapy.
@davidparker9676 Courts tend to side with the parent who kept the kids when the split happened, as long as they have a home and food. If men took the kids more often during a split, they'd win. I think the majority of the time, most men are the problem in their relationships. Though, I've been to couples therapy and had my behaviors and word choices criticized by the therapist. I don't know many men even willing to go to couples therapy for fear they'll be blamed. It's hard not to assume they know they're at fault but don't want to hear it. That's so often the case with a lot of men.
"Bob says I have a problem and to get help." I think I see the problem. It's Bob.
Yup...Typical Narcissistic Husband 🙄
You bet
Bob can't sassify.
@@JohnDoe-vy5hhand you can’t spell
Yeah, no way it was her mom…
Oldest human problem. Man wants only a physical interaction to relieve himself. Woman wants a physical interaction too but wants an emotional connection to feel loved and appreciated. As a guy I totally get that, too bad Bob didn't.
You make it sound like going to the toilet. When are men going to realise that they have emotions too. You've just been taught to cut them off which is terrible for society.
@@dfasht1304 what of load of tripe. What century are you in? Been reading too much Jordan Pe.terson
No the oldest human problem was women learning to talk…
Everyone wants their cake and to eat it too…marriage life isnt “the notebook” and too many women have been brainwashed into thinking that is the way it should be…
Now it is men who have to change their evolutionary programming to accomodate hollywood fantasy…
I hope this guy was crushing strange constantly…romance is a social construct, its a made up fantasy…it doesnt exist in nature…yet modern women believe it is the way
Unfortunately you have a valid point here.
Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love. If they both realise this and give the other what they want they will be blissfully happy together
@@rumdealI’ve heard that said too, it sounds accurate for most people imo. Whether we like to dance around it or not.
As a therapist I have to remind myself that this interview was done decades ago. She isn’t frigid. She is a mother since marriage and is worried about 1. her husbands fidelity. 2. She questions her attractiveness. 3. She is tired. 4. She wants to be wooed by her husband, like he used to. All of these factors have led to a lack of security and trust with her husband and herself; she is fleeing or retreating out of fear / insecurity. Her husband should be included in this “therapy” as he is key to meeting his wife’s needs; helping his wife overcome her fears.
Sounds like a needy broad who should start appreciating what she has
Yes. I noticed that women have a tendency to complicate things. Men are easy to please. Women, they themselves don't know how they can be pleased.
The therapy we think today is correct, will be wrong 10 years from now. It's the same with your assessment.
@@SJDSt Agree. This new god called science is periodically proven wrong yet people bow to their newfound "absolutely right" and "absolutely reliable" science/specialists/doctors/teachers/mentors. It looks like nobody is able to think for themselves no more.
Good job
Bob tells her his friends think she’s beautiful and sexy but that she isn’t.. then expects her to want to jump his bones. He debates her feelings with accusatory talking points like a court case, there is no humanly way possible she could ever win with that man.
Bob sounds like a narcissist
Who told you that?
@@seanmar1738 the video.
@@toosense "Who"
@@seanmar1738 the woman in the video. Smh
26, married 4 years, 2 kids. I guess she wouldn't be interested in sex. She isn't frigid; she is overwhelmed.
That was the normal age to get married and have kids back in the day, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. The fact that women are having children much later is probably contributing to the exponential rise in autistic babies being born, as older age at conception is a known risk factor.
@@Sniperboy5551 Oh no, not the 'tism.
@@Sniperboy5551 what do you consider young for having children? Or i should say, what do you consider old? I have two autistic relatives, their mothers were 34 and 38 at their births. The fathers were 36 and 44. I am interested in this theory. My sister said the same thing---old parents.
@@Jendromeda I seriously doubt the causes of autism can be related to one factor only, in fact the main cause has not being identified, but it's got more to do with pollution with molecules we've been exposed to only in the last generations, same goes for allergies and other immune related problems (leukemia, cancer etc...). Talking about the age of the mother only, the risk of trisomy of chromosome 21 increases exponentially with age. Women between 16 and 24 are in their optimum for successful pregnancies, past 34 you have considerable risk factor for several problems.
@@voodish2 thank you for all of that information !!! Unfortunately, the autism subject hits home for me and my family, as far as i know, the last two generations, not before.
I am really impressed with this therapist. He helped this woman see that she was NOT "frigid" and that it was going to take mutual effort with her husband and her to solve their marital issues. I would love to see the follow-up session with her husband or at least know how it worked out for them.
Yes. Her husband is an azz. (Slam bam, thank you Mam! ) So, he is having affairs. The wife knows on some level. No amount of talking to Bob, would change anything. He is an attorney to boot. Men from back then, were mostly azzholes. I lived it.
Totally agree! Going in I thought it was going to be him telling her it was her fault. The man did an excellent job and you could see the relief in her face at the end. Was pretty clear she went into it reluctantly accepting that it was all her fault because of her husband most likely convincing her of it. The fact he reinforced her feelings that it was on both of them was awesome. Was cool to watch
Rob stopped trying.
Me too. I watched this just because the title, haha. I expected something different. I finished watching it because I actually found him to be super charming and good at his job. Which was surprising, haha.
There is a follow up interview with the husband under the same title but with "the husband" at the end. Very interesting.
Gosh, Linda really impressed me. She is well spoken, intelligent, mature and thoughtful for only 25. I wonder what trajectory her life took from this point. I retrospectively wish you all the best Linda.
So many people were competent speakers just like she is.
Try to find interview videos of common people from 1930 onwards. Even simple people were surprisingly knowledgable about the world, what happens in the nearer future, and were able to express themselves well.
Well I think her age shows up at 18:17 where she gets a little stubborn and aloof when she is challenged that Bob is not a mind reader! And she must learn to communicate. The nervous laughter shows her hint of immature behavior that is expected from a 26 year old who was married and pregnant by 21.
@@chicaliqc Yeah, I see. She is a little different in the follow up interview with her husband present. If you can find that one it is worth a watch.
@@stratkiller2531 she would be 76 or so now
@@alb12345672 👍
Well, the answer is quite obvious. She married a lawyer, that alone makes most people's blood run cold.
Haha
lol
i worked for 12 lawyers, over half of them cheated on their wives. In one office of 3 lawyers, all 3 cheated. Two had multiple marriages and STILL cheated !!
@@Jendromeda yeah, I'm not surprised. Lot of lawyers are probably narcissists due to their need for power and control.
@@Jendromeda Is it their fault women want their seed?
Not wanting to be a sex slave to someone who shows no concern for your feelings shouldn't be labeled as frigid.
Yes that's your take on it n that's fair enough as your entitled to the way u think but there's other few billion or so other people who are sexually active who would have diffrent thoughts than you do on this documentary n no i haven't even watched it yet but i will now n im sure it was a very opinionated thing to say n the way u looked at it n wat u took from it would be quite diffrent to millions of others. who knows you could be damaged sexually your self or a whole number of thing as isn't this guy a trained phycologist? not to mention u might look at sex totally diffrent to so many of your females pears who knows as u might not even know lol 'haha 'have a good day.
@@davechristian7543 Since you haven't watched the film, the trained psychologist assures Linda that she's 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐝. He tells her that "frigid" is a bad term that she shouldn't apply to herself. (And from that we can surmise that her husband, Bob, should damn well not be calling her "frigid" either.)
@@nancymcmonarch On ya, Nancy ! Totally truth !!!
@@davechristian7543 What a strange reply considering you haven't watched it. Bizarre!
@@nancymcmonarch Though the environment looks rather stiff and staged (and yep had therapy in the 70s!!), I thought the therapist seemed pretty damned competent and right! I don't imagine "Bob" will show up though.
This was incredible. I expected the old time frame for this to be something one-sided but the therapist was so professional and special. I'm at a loss for words. 10/10
I still found him a bit wrong. TALK? TO AN ATTORNEY HUSBAND? BAAA HAAA.
People were much kinder decades ago.
I thought exactly the same. I was ready to laugh at it, but I was so impressed.
She's not frigid, she's in a bad marriage with someone who's a poor match for her.
I believe this is exactly the problem! Maybe they moved too fast before they could figure it out. They got caught up in babies (she Freudian slipped and said “9 months-oh, excuse me-1 year”) bringing a bit of shame around sex since her mother already warned her against being too available! Her husband “Bob” seems a bit intimidated that his friends find his wife sexy and attractive then had the nerve to say “But you’re really not”! Belittles her and lawyers her like they’re in court instead of at the dinner table. Definitely detect resentment in her, too. I don’t think they have sexual problems they have contempt problems! Maybe unspoken regrets too (on honeymoon she said to herself “What have I gotten myself into”?). Just so interesting to see how the therapist helps her break down the steps that have led to her and her spouse’s present dilemma. Better communication may be of help for the couple. I wonder if the husband showed up since he seemed to think it was all Linda’s fault?! 🥶
She's frigid, she could refrigerate an entire floor of an apartment building... or three 747 airplane hangars.
@@skandababy How ridiculous! It’s obviously that King of Swords husband of hers. He’s a piece of work! Some lawyer, he’s not even willing to negotiate his own case (marriage with him)! Projecting onto his lovely vulnerable wife. There’s a TikTok divorce lawyer woman that warns against marrying men in certain professions because they frequently end up in divorce court and her husband is one of them. Too bad there weren’t many women barristers back then to warn her. ⚖️❣️
Yeah, so she has to go get perved on buy some weird psychologist,, pan filmed.
@yvettemarshallTWN I don't think men should marry at all, it's complete horseshit. Bring back concubines I say, for men and women.
I’m so glad this therapist made her realize this wasn’t only her fault. I thought this was going to go the other way.
Excellemt
RIGHT!??? Totally progressive for that time. I love how he suggests telling her husband what she wants too. (Too bad the husband sounds like a jackass)
@@Running.addict he's a lawyer ffs.
of course, it is all her fault.
If the man couldn't orgasm, would that be only his fault?
26 year olds today seem so immature compared to this woman.
I guess it depends on how you would define mature. This woman seems very, very naive.
Forced to grow up before their time, and today it's just that you're getting old.
Perhaps she is more articulate than most younger people today.
She comes off as being in advanced middle age.
@@nathanielovaughn2145 Agree. I thought she was mid 30s. And she does seem to be drained.
Awe, that was really nice. What a great therapist! And she was willing to give it a try going outside her comfort zone. Courageous young woman.
It's a shame that Linda had to go through this. Listen to her at 26 and compare her to the average 26 year old today. The maturity level of Linda is off the charts by comparison.
She is focused on her goal as a wife and partner and is in distress to see her life going awry. Many men don't understand the tenderness women need. This was a difficult subject for many people especially when he touches on masturbation. It was almost a taboo then, but things were changing. It's a shame we have drifted so far outside the realm of acceptable, mature conversations where sex is concerned. Now it's a free-for-all, and any comment against this is met with vitriol and disdain.
The inmates are running the asylum.
Did you notice she actually wanted to save her marriage, not monkey branch to another man straight away
Thank You! Someone had the guts to say it. Yes I totally agree with you it's a total free-for-all in the average twenty-six-year-old is on par with a 16 year old child
My girlfriend is 26 and sounds like this too, just as mature. I think you watch too much TV/use the Internet too much and you began to believe everything you see. My generation was taught to not believe everything you see on TV/the computer. Sadly it seems that common sense wasn't taught in your generation but I recommend you learn it, it will be very helpful to you!
This isn't even real. It's scripted you goofs
Nowadays people claim to be "children" until they are 29 - and then suddenly "middle aged" from 30 onwards. We get told not to get married before 40, or preferably not at all. We get told adultery is "normal". I fully agree, the inmates are running the asylum!
There is nothing wrong with her. He doesn't make her feel special anymore. He takes her for granted.
Oh, there’s something wrong with her…she married an asshole.
Lol!!!!!
Facts.
If she’s frigid, there’s plenty wrong with her.
She needs to quit being
scared and just dive into
the dating pool and get
laid: sorry to sound so
coarse, but that’s the truth.
There was _plenty_ wrong here, with her distorted “romantic” view of sex just being the tip of the iceberg. It’s the same delusion which underpins the problematic nature of many women’s current (promiscuous) courting practices. There’s no “magic” to be had in these fantasies, so try a little pragmatism. After all, reproduction is the _actual_ goal of (normal) sexual motivations.
That’s not to say her husband didn’t have his share of issues.
She comes off as warm and articulate, hardly the "frigid" type!
I think in 1972 it meant frigid exactly as she said, "it's sexual." Yes she is very polite, also says she's nervous. It seems people have told her she's frigid but maybe she has post-partum. "People have told me I'm not the same as I used to." "Quite frankly I've had it. We aren't communicating...we can't get to the root of it...BOB told me I have problems."
5:27 "you're not having a climax?" Maybe this woman wasn't attracted to her husband. Maybe she wants more romance. Maybe Bob the lawyer isn't that great. She says Bob puts her down. I don't know if I'd honestly trust the professionals from this time.
It's sexual. Talking about sex was taboo back then. They didn't even talk about "those" parts, and if there was a reason to discuss them, they developed words for them: Tee-Tee, wee-wee...yeah, they usually rhymed. A lot of women not only didn't discuss sex with others, they were told by their mothers to "lay there until he's done". They didn't see sex as a participating sport for women. So a lot of women and their daughters coming up were rigid. They were brainwashed before they even got married.
That was the term for a woman who was not responsive during sex. A woman who didn’t want sex at all could be called hysterical and frigid. Those were just common psychiatric terms back then
Lawyer husband at home. That'll do it.
Poor woman. There's nothing wrong with her - Bob needs to learn that his wife needs to be appreciated and seduced
YES
Or maybe she's got that busted vagina thing
Absolutely.
So sad. The man in the introduction says, "this is a problem that is frequently encountered ".... And yes, Bob sounds like her problem but also the whole male centered life she was living
Crap. Many women lose all their sex drive once married. They lose their respect for their husband.
I was warned by an older man when I was around 16 years old to never marry before the age of 60.
Thank god I followed his advice.
I like the way the therapist says "I see, I see!" after she told him that her husband is a lawyer. Its as if he wanted to say: "Well no wonder you cant get hot with a lawyer!"
A common problem. Men often become complacent and lazy and drop any romance or seduction. If a woman feels that all he wants is a hole to release in she will lose all desire and recoil at the idea of sex with him.
not to mention any type of abuse he may start to use, physical, mental, emotional....and many times the bottom line is a roaming tendency or the bottle.
You apparently haven't bred too many females
And woman get fat and naggy
There are two sides to every story...
@@lockandloadlikehell bred? Is she livestock? lol.
This made me feel so less guilty about saying 'no' to sex...
Her first description, “I’m frightened,” is a huge component. Women then risked being destitute if they divorced or “let their marriage fail.” They were expected to stay home and not have a job outside the home. No job history means no ability to support themselves.
It wasn't until 1974 that women could obtain credit or mortgages without a male cosigner. This video is from 1972. Crazy!
What? Women worked all the time! Did you ever visit a mall in the 70's? My mom worked as a civilian for the military and was surrounded by other females.
@@johnwelsh2769 of course women worked outside of the home. I'm sure there are stats somewhere that will show what percentage of women did then compared to now. Regardless of work, leaving a husband meant financial downfall and often poverty, coupled with the fact you could not obtain a mortgage.
@@waitaminute2015 The Fair Housing Act of 1968 prevented discrimination of loans based on sex. Yes, banks could refuse loans to unmarried women that they deemed fiscally unable to pay back, but they also refused loans to men that did not meet an income threshold. In the 70's banks wanted to loan money for homes because they got more back, and if the loan failed, they got the property back, resold it, and started all over.
@@johnwelsh2769 no. 1974 Equal credit opportunity act.
I feel so bad that this woman blames herself...sad.
She speaks so intelligently and eloquently. She has poise and dignity. Young people (she's only 26) were so much more mature back then (and were made of better stuff).
BINGO.
@@imdjc4 And the prize for Missing the Point of a Film goes to... drum roll... @sommyburnett.
What this film shows is the medical industry's dismissing of women and their needs. No reasonable assessment this film would make somebody come away from this saying, "Gosh this terribly troubled person has a disastrous marriage -- but she is so much more eloquent and made of better stuff than troubled people today."
@@brianarbenz7206 ohhhhhhh that’s what the film shows? Brian, thank you. I sat through 35 minutes of this film and my only take away was also that the woman speaking was eloquent and intelligent. Good thing we have you, Brian, to tell us the main point of the film.
@@SilverGrizzly Couldn't have said it better Lonesome Ridge. And clearly....BA's a point in case.
It's clearly scripted
Her body is literally rejecting her abusive COLD husband. I tried to stay with an abuser and after awhile I couldn't orgasm with him no matter what. I realized my body was shutting down during sex as a protective mechanism. I left him and was celibate for 5 years to heal, then I got married to a wonderful man and the bed is hot lol.
As a man, I’m being careful on passing judgement until I could learn more about the husband, maybe he’s tired when coming home from work, what kind of work he does all day, and does the wife make things worse in some way, etc. some women just don’t like sex, especially if they came from a very religious home. When a man gets married, he knows he has to get a job that pays enough to provide for her and the kids and when money is tight, a small problem like the car breaking down can make us angry, especially if it was due to neglectful use. I’ve been married to my only wife for 33 years now and things do change after time for a woman. My wife was a 22 year old virgin and from a catholic family in Puerto Rico so, I was careful and gentle and never pushed her but she never initiates intimacy or even cares about snuggling close to me. It’s been that way since day one and it is frustrating and hurts but it’s how she is. When a man has to initiate all the time it feels like I’m taking something instead of sharing so I usually don’t try. And when a man is denied intimacy from the wife, it has a very bad effect and isn’t a good idea, even just being close is fine. So her issues came from her home environment and I understand that but for myself, I was 25 and went through quite a few women, I don’t drink or smoke, I stay out of trouble but I enjoy the outdoors (I was an Army Infantryman for 26 years) and enjoyed riding my street bike on weekends. If a man feels unwanted, undesired, it won’t take long before he comes to a point and says he’s had enough. If a man wants to be close to his wife/loved one then it means that he only wants her.
@@echohunter4199 I don’t hear anything about you showing romance. No surprise gifts, flowers or fun trips.
Sounds like the husband is fridged not her lol
@@nicholasnovak4 Really bro?
I bet this new guy just happened to make more money too, didn't he? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was 24 at this time and my first thought is that I can't believe we wore our dresses and skirts that short - but we did!!! As for the speech patterns, proper pronunciation, grammar and so on really is how we spoke. I miss that.
"Im afraid, uh, I might be frigid"
Carries on explaining how shes being abused and how it makes her feel
I genuinely hope she found happiness and that Bob figured out his issues.
I don't think she's "frigid"....she might just be sick of this dude wanting sex all the time,plus living with someone for awhile,you get to see their habits.I'll bet he treated her different the first year or so,then he stopped.Most guys are selfish and don't care too much if the woman gets any enjoyment out of it.Also,I'll bet he tells her what he wants....she should tell him.If he doesn't want to,move on.
@@donniefleming9914 yep. She's not frigid, she's being abused then blamed for not wanting sex
@@Faesharlyn Yep,I meant to put that in there....'abused"or "used"...either way,sad situation she had.And most women have.
1. She feels resentment because he belittles her. He's "listing her faults" and she feels like she "can't win these arguments", anyone being treated like this would not want to have intercourse. 2. Sounds like he may have a bit of an ego problem. If his business is growing and people are praising him on his success, one tends to get used to the praise and success. However, his marriage is in shambles, she's unconsciously saying you suck at this marriage, and you can't Win this case/climax. Of course, this is not his fault (sarcastic tone), his job is to win, win, win and prove others wrong and, in this marriage, he is doing this as well. In turn putting the blame on his wife. Poor lady, it's definitely him because if she had a vibrator or another lover, I'd bet she'd climax! it has everything to do with how he is treating her emotionally and her resentment.
People build their relationships on sex, not love. When the sex is gone, so is the relationship. SEX IS NOT LOVE.
Agreed with everything you just said
Bob didn't realize how lucky he was. She truly cared about him, her marriage and her family. Good luck finding someone like that today.
Healthy relationships are hard work and hard to find. Mind you this lady and her husband were not in a healthy relationship. Sexuality is an integral part of a marriage.
Bob didn't realize how stupid his wife really was and how brainwashed she was. All she had to do was to give Bob pussy, to force him to have her pussy for a week until he's had too much. Then Bob would be a changed husband, maybe even giving he flowers every day. Then she would feel she wants to have sex with Bob and their marriage would have been a happy one. That's all it takes. One week, it is for free and has way better results.
@@angrytater2456 yes and no. Sexuality is on a spectrum from asexual to hypersexual.
Plus, health plays a huge role and eventually many people lose this ability and yet still have wonderful fulfilling marriages. It depends on your priorities/values/communication
@@ImSimplyAHuman Those are extremes but ok. And I assumed this woman and her husband are healthy enough to have sex.
@@angrytater2456 you’re totally right - their marriage seems fundamentally unhealthy. And there’s probably a sexual mismatch to boot, but that’s likely not the core issue.
Lots of people have mismatched sex drives but still respect and communicate without trying to control/change the other person or act like they are fundamentally flawed for being different
It's a shame people today can't have discourse like this. Faces in phones, that's all we get.
It's good that he's going to bring her husband in. That will be the determining factor if the counselor will recognize and treat them as a couple and hold the husband accountable for his contribution to the problem
Agree totally.
Unless Bob is a narcissist. Hopefully, the good doctor has discernment.
Men still put that frigid crap on women! My first husband was an arrogant, violent jackass and I couldn’t stand him anymore…I worked hard to keep our lives at least tolerable…he treated like shitt even in front of people…I couldn’t stand for him to touch me anymore 🤮 I ran away from him and never came back . That was over 30 years ago…ew! I never want to feel way ever again!🤢you can’t expect sex when you’re abused!
You're absolutely right. I had a similar experience and it left me a mess. It took time and I healed by I try to never think about it because I don't want to ever feel those feelings again
Through the years, I have encountered men who when I refused sex with them would either call me frigid or infer that I must be a lesbian. I would make excuses- I was tired or it was "that time of the month". These were guys that I was either friends with or just started seeing. (Luckily I've had decent communication with serious boyfriends or my late husband). One guy was very persistent and I'd had enough so when he asked me why I didn't like sex I enlightened him by telling him "oh I like sex, I'm just not attracted to YOU". He had no response 😂.
Since then, I stopped making excuses to save their egos.
That’s not a man, nor is that “frigid” in the clinical sense like they use here. What you were with was a narcissist.
Right? To me an example of being frigid is a man randomly trying to stick it in without any love or tenderness. That’s frigid
@Tracchofyre it’s a generational curse! Hopefully it ends with me!🙏🏽
I'm 67yrs old, and I do see her point when the husband comes home mentally tired, not happy to come home to a loving wife and wonderful children, feeling worn out, in that dead zone state of mind. It's BS and not very pleasant, and happens way two often with folks. Not only that, but I've worked hard all my life, not making enough money, working two jobs, then working for myself sunup to sundown, but never came home turnoff, I couldn't wait to have that woman in my arms and playing with those children. If men don't have that kind of heaven in their heart and minds, their mirage is pretty dull and causes all kinds of head problem. That lady is not Frigid.
No such thing as a "frigid" wife. There's just an excess of husbands who don't know the first thing about the art of seduction.
Nor the art of lovemaking.
There are also many selfish and lazy women who can have everything and still think they are better than the one taking care of them and have absolutely no responsibilities to him.
@@towertone All of the women I know are working full time at a career, taking care of their children and managing the household.
@@LoveFlatfootin1 Really? All of them? And they are ALL uninterested in sex? I'm not sure I get your point but the fact is there are two sides to this debate, and it's not always the man's fault. But to some, men don't have careers, do nothing around the house, and don't even know they have kids...
...in the movie, Kinsey...Albert Kinsey was counseling a young married couple and the wife complained that she didn't enjoy sex and was concerned she was frigid. Dr. Kinsey asked her husband if he ever tried orally stimulating her...that most women cannot climax with intercourse alone...the husband and wife was shocked that he would even suggest anything like this. Generations of women were taught that sex was a wifes duty and for the husband's sexual pleasure alone. 😐
Bob sounds like a real winner
He loves u
here we go....more "playing the victim". He works everyday....making a lot of money, I'm sure, as an Attorney.....she stays at home, plays with the kids and watches soap operas....but somehow he's the bad guy?? I don't think so
She must've thought so when she chose him. A lawyer. She could have got hitched to the janitor who wasn't a jerk. But she didn't.
Right? What kind of man says to his wife, "my friends think you're sexy, but you're really not!"
@@JuliaGulia310 how do you know he said that? She just claims he said that. I love when people want to condemn the husband, when we don't ever get a chance to hear his side.
She said that she knew she was attractive but as the conversation going she said that she felt unattracted. Just like nowadays, beautiful women fell unattracted as their husbands undermine their confidence.
Her husband sounds like a complete bastard.
it's a game they play. some therapists will say the husband's mother "ruined" him.
Lol sounds like projection and a you problem to me
@@Jendromeda nah, it's just that extra high neuroticism you were born with- that's why you're all on Prozac and Xans just so you can try to get through another day without breaking down
Why are you lumping in other 🔥 females into your neurotic issues feeling attractive ?
Projection is so amusing- I've dated a former cyber playmate of the month, strippers and have at least 4-5 friends who are ex or current strippers or models- trust me- they all know they are or were beautiful
It's also cute that you're so out of it that you don't realize hot vagina fuccs other hot vagina, too- who are also 🔥 and confident, themselves.
Are these 🔥 females also "making" 🔥 females feel unattractive??
I highly doubt they'd be repeatedly fuccing them then- during meetings specifically for fuccing 🤦🏿♀️
I suggest you see a therapist for those projection issues 👌🏾
I LOVE THIS WOMAN'S HONESTY.. SHE WAS AHEAD OF HER TIME.
I agree. It’s refreshing. She’s ahead of her time for sure
I don't think she's ahead of her time, she's a product of her time. Culture has declined dramatically over the last 10-15 years. Modern feminism has destroyed real feminine women.
Ahead of her time? this was the era of Love American Style, and movies like Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Swinging clubs like Plato's Retreat. Folks were screwing like crazy in the 70s.
@@wendellbatts2477They still are.
I follow some married women’s communities on Reddit and I see this exact same scenario so frequently - a husband who can’t understand why his wife won’t have sex with him, and a wife who feels burnt out, under-appreciated and unloved. It’s interesting that this is still so common over fifty years later.
I would say her husband is a jerk. She's a beautiful, caring woman.
Agreed… but she’s also frigid, colder than a steak sitting in the freezer for ten years. She needs thawed.
@@cadaverdog1424 I would take her in a second. I can dream.
here we go....more "playing the victim". He works everyday....making a lot of money, I'm sure, as an Attorney.....she stays at home, plays with the kids and watches soap operas....but somehow he's the bad guy?? I don't think so.....tell me more about how "oppressed" she is....LOL
@@davidlemaster2034 Im with you Dave. The bullshit victimhood from so many women here is pathetic. She was a stay home mom, he worked in a high stress job, paid for everything but still has to go home and pander to her emotional needs to get some physical love. Jesus wept. How hard is it to get your husband off twice a week if he is a good provider, a good person, a good father? If your financial needs are been met and he is a good father to your children and he is a half decent person to you as a woman then he is keeping up his end of the marriage bargain, stop whining like a child and like so many women here are about their " emotional needs to feel a little princess and super duper special" and give your sexually frustrated hardworking husband a bloody hand job but no, to many women thats too much trouble. if the husband is really a bastard of a man, or not providing for the family, or a bastard of a father thats entirely different and let him be frustrated but thats not what this woman is saying and we are commenting on this video. So Joe L, if your a man with that comment someone needs to slap your stupid face for it, stop been a mangina and start backing up hardworking men, if your a woman then very few men here will be surprised. You would want to be a fool to marry today in 2023 and I bet the man who married this woman in the 70s felt one too.
@@private-private you just said it private.....exactly right.
Wow...this really hit home for me. My husband just wants to watch his movie in bed and then turn over and want to just get to it. Most women respond better when the man touches them and does foreplay. Women want to feel a connection. Have dinner together, watch a movie together, take a walk together, basically spend time together and then get intimate.
Do you explain that to them, try to compromise or try to initiate intimacy yourself? Just trying to help because as a guy I feel the most intimate while the physical. So as a guy you're husband likely doesn't feel the same as you do leading up to it. Also it can be really emotionally draining as a guy to try to be intimate and emotional and empathetic, share dinner, tentatively start foreplay, pick the right movie, know exactly what your women wants when she won't tell you the option on your list you put out is the one or two she wants done today, and if you don't just KNOW and read her mind, it's your fault, you wasted your time, you got emotional and empathetic only to get an emotional slap in the face, that you screwed something up and so how ever many hours was wasted of your very limited free time, and you're rejected looking forward to the looming expanse of time that you're going to be lonely and have your need unmet and unfulfilled for then next who know however long till it's okay to even approach and try again, which may again be more hours trying to cuddle her be intimate with her doing things for her to again, only to be rejected and have that time wasted again. When often she wont do any of the same things for me. I'm expected to give her a massage know the right things to say know what she wants and do all of them meanwhile they don't do the same or think at all what I would like. And part of the thing is sex for guys at best releaves a lot of stress, but the approach causes a lot of stress, so if you are wanting to relieve stress only for it to make the situation worse. Lastly what confused me is earlier, you said you want your husband to, among your examples, watch a movie with you first, then later you said her turned to you after the movie and wanted to do it... So it only counts if it's a movie you wanted to watch or is it that he needs to do all those involved first? Movie 2 hours (waste of time if it's not the movie she wanted), dinner 45 min, cook 40 min eat, 30min clean, 40 min focused on foreplay and cuddling for her while you're frustrated and pent up, and often don't get the same attention in return.
And then at times after you've done all that she isn't feeling it... and so as a guy you're left with nothing other then really feeling frustrated and unwanted. In my own personal life as a guy, it's rather difficult as well, because we don't get treated the same or wanted in the same way or as often, trying to show your love takes time and often money, and you very, very often have nothing to show for it that you wanted in the end. I have a feeling the two of you should talk to a professional who knows what they are talking about and can explain your side to your husband in a way he can appreciate, and a professional that can frame things from your husbands perspective to you, to help you both see each other a little better. Cause assuming you love each other, you'd both be trying to do things to make the other happy. But it's not easy when you and him may be different in ways inside or emotionally that you both just assume from the outside are the same when inside your feelings are both similar but can be completely different and neither of you may even know and that could be causing problems not because either of you are at fault but when experiencing the same thing, you could both be feeling different things. For example with me in the past after a string of nights of rejections, while giving her a massage, She was feeling relaxed and loved and I hugged her or kissed her neck and back, while I am sitting there with fear worry, and aches and pain. We were both having foreplay in the form of a massage Though while I would have liked one to she rarely would give one to me, so it's just seen as something to live with, While I have essential oils defusing in the air, the candle light, with relaxing waves and nature noises playing in the background, I was tired already from a long day of work my legs hurt, my knee hurt, my muscles were getting sore after both working all day and then doing 40min of a massage, all to wonder and be sad and in fear feel hurt from being rejected earlier, when trying to do similar stuff and them not being in the mood. Worrying the whole time is this just going to be a another night she doesn't want to and I get left letdown feeling frustrated again, while also thinking and dreading the following day of work trying to forget the fact I have to be up early and will be moving heavy stuff around all day in a ton of pain. So I can see it from a girls perspective and I try to be accommodating but it can be really hard as a guy when you are doing everything you can or try to think of and it just ends with you feeling dissatisfied most of the time, even though you love a person you feel like they don't want to do as much for you as you do for them. And also some times, I just don't have the energy, to do a whole lot. Luckily the girl I'm currently with is a lot better and much more appreciative and understanding of what I do.
But I know with girls I was with in the past. Never felt like they understood or cared just how much I did or how hard it was for me to do everything I did for them, even if I was exauseted or in pain I still tried to make them happy, but at the end of it, I was left feeling unsatisfied. And over they years it just makes you want to do less and less and give up. Luckily after meeting my current girlfriend it's much more of a pleasure to make her happy because she is acctually over appreciative of everything I do for her and it makes me want to do more and more for her even if it hurts or I'm not in the mood to do somthing. I think of her hugging me and thanking me and cooing from times past, And I decide to go the etxra mile because with her it's always worht it. with girls of the past they took it for granted. Like my ex that cheated on my with my best friend, who even she had told me I treated her better then any man she had ever been with and she still went on the later cheat, and then when she realised the level of care and effort I put into her and how much I was willing to do it much more then the average guy would do for her, certainly any she could get. And she came crying and begging for me back. Saying she missed me and no one treated her like I did. I genuinly try to treat any girl I'm with as best as I possibly can. But with her it just made me angery after she came back, because she wasn't all that appreciative, of what I gave her, and just figured it was expected, because she was a girl. And I want to be frank I don't think anyone should expect more then basic decency, Anything above that is a gift. And if they only see it once it's gone they were never going to be grateful for you. And I try to be apprecitive of all my girlfriend does for me, but we are all human and we all make mistakes, and also some times it's hard to see. and we don't think about it, like with the massage, and I'm sure she's done things for me been in pain for me and I haven't thought about it or said thankyou for that thing because I just can't know everything. This is why I suggest a perfesional that is actually recommended who can help both of you see what is at first hard to see or think of. I hope things get better with you and your husband and you have a happy life together. I'm just trying to help in my frank, blunt, badly spelled style. I would just lastly hope you two can compramise in ways that can make you both happy, some times if you can jsut make him happy and then I hope it gets through to him he shouldn't be like that all the time. You deserve to be loved and he deserves to be loved and it takes sacrifice on both sides to show that. And I hope it works out for the best.
@@LegoSwordViedos jfc dude, all your complaining in that book you wrote seems you're the one that needs a therapist so mayb you'll stop projecting all your crap on others. Good god you seem exhausting.
Oh please ...........
Sheesh!!! TMI dude!
Most men are innately physical because of biology. Most women are innately emotional. The only times these roles typically reverse is when men’s sex drive is low, which happens at different phases in a man’s life, and when a woman’s sex drive is up which is usually during menstruation cycle. This is all from biological impulses. But we have the emotional and intellectual capacity to overcome biological impulses and communicate our needs and desires. Men need to have compassion and understanding and patience with their women and how women typically function, and women need to do the same, and fair compromises should be a couples priority. It’s an act of love. Men are super straight forward in their thinking, women are complex. Women think with their head upstairs and men think with their head downstairs when it comes to sex lol these are generalizations but they are pretty safe to go off of. Men need to keep their senses open to hints, women often will not tell you straight forward when they want sexual attention, they drop little hints, and men should look out for those little hints. And women should understand when men are tired these senses are not keen and sometimes you have to drop the hints right in front of their face. It’s a give and take. These complications usually occur around our 30’s and 40’s because that’s when our sexual drives start to get on different pages. It with love and emotional and intellectual maturity and communication and the art of non verbal communication, you can overcome these sexual obstacle courses. Good luck everyone!
The frigid wife is always the result of unaffectionate male partners.
Foreplay is absolutely essential. For me (the male) as well. The longer the foreplay, the better the overall experience. It doesn't have to be physical to start with. My record of foreplay is 9 years. And when we finally went to the end, it was one of the best experiences of my 63 year life. She agreed.
I prefer a wham bam thank you ma'am.
@@joeadams-iv9yb well, that's very acceptable also!!! Lol. "Who are you going to satisfy with that "?? "ME, SWEETIE, lay down"!!!, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
9 years of FP omg and lol. Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, my current hair stylist confirms this FP phenomenon, that is, it indeed gets better [for her] the longer it goes. But in this case the FP consists of spitting on it and her riding until I can't keep it up, then the FP momentum has her going until she's a dripping mess scissoring on my limp guy as she has rolling o's. I never imagined this kind of FP. So frankly, I don't know what's true about this stuff anymore as I've seen my dogmatic beliefs about gender behavior shattered and turned upside down.
@@russellmooneyham3334 yes its all about the important things.
@@brad6742 um, wow...
Intimacy is crucial in a relationship, you can't have intimacy if you don't care about the other person's feelings, this woman wasn't the problem as she just wanted to feel loved, and if she felt that, her husband would have better sex than he could have ever imagined, telling her she is frigid and she is the problem is basically saying I'm selfish and don't care about you at all, I would love to see the next session with her husband present, I would be surprised if he would even come with her at all and if he did I'm sure the Therapist would have his work cut out for him especially since he was a Lawyer.
Diagnosis- this woman is totally normal!!
True… normally frigid😂
and husband sucks
No, she's not, she should be giving herself up to her husband anytime he wants her to, and doing it well. She is her husband's sexual object, and should fulfill her purpose. She was born to obey his commands. That is her purpose. She needs to be skillfull in the kitchen, the bed, and the yard, anytime she is told to take care of her requirements.
@@jacehendrix3194 lol hoping/assuming sarcasm. Can never tell on the innernette
If she kissed a girl I bet she’d like it 😂
He is emotionally abusive. What kind of husband would say his friends think his wife is attractive...but he is there to let her know she IS NOT?! NO wonder she is crying herself to sleep afterwards.
Amazing! Acknowledgement of the partner dynamic, acknowledgement of external influences, but also giving her responsibility and empowerment to address the issue. He quickly identified a core cognitive distortion that was preventing her from addressing the issue. If she can accept and address that, it doesn't matter what you think of her husband (we only have her perspective after all), but her life will be better. Communication is key. Mind reading and the expectation of mind reading is super common today. (Plenty of problems to be had even when we communicate properly, but somehow we too often insist on not communicating.)
Her body language!! Tense talking about her husband. Totally relaxed talking about her mom and dad.
There are so many wonderful lessons here for women and men. Number one, communicate everything! with your partner. Number two she's stating exactly what both men and women need. To feel loved and special and cared for so you can lose yourself. It's important for both partners to initiate. I'm so happy that the therapist recommended Bob come in. I hope he saw the effort Linda was putting into their relationship, when they both had some issues to deal with. More so Bob but, I think she learned the need to communicate her issues to her partner as well. I hope it worked out for their family. If not, I hope they found love.
She seems to perfectly diagnose the problem at 15:03: "I don't feel that he appreciates me really." As another commenter wrote: Bob sounds like a real winner.
Except all we have is her side of the story. Perhaps Bob is a total jerk. Then again, perhaps Bob really does appreciate her, but goes about showing that appreciation either clumsily or in ways to which his wife doesn't respond. For instance, my wife doesn't really want gifts. She likes quality time and acts of service. Then again, perhaps it's impossible for any action to make her feel appreciated.
He's a lawyer
@user-kr4rz5hn4n oh that's not true. It's just that the roles are so different it's easy to miss what stresses out the other. Right off the bat it sounds like not enough together time or maybe it's too much to handle and some adjustment is needed. Effort in those 2 areas would likely solve the problem. If not, might be something deeper. Theres a book called the 5 love languages. People usually FEEL the love in one of these ways. When you said appreciation it made me think of it. To some people time is important, others its 'service' or doing things for the other, or gifts..... as in little things like flowers out of nowhere..... or physical touch, and I can't remember the last one. If someone doesnt feel appreciated its often just a matter of communicating in the right way.
Here's a story. Couple comes in for marriage counseling. She says he's losing his love for her because he never spends time with her. He's always finding something else to do. He'll do anything to avoid spending time with her.
The man says her love is dying. No matter what he does she isnt happy. So when the man learned she felt he didnt care, he said he couldnt understand it at all because he did everything he could to show his love. He came home from work and mowed the law, washed the car, made sure the trash was out, and she still didn't appreciate it. And all she wanted to do was sit around. See, different love languages. Both showing love in ways they feel important but not understanding whats important to the other.
Bob sounds like he's just forgotten why his wife is special, and beautiful, and isn't sharing that with her anymore. Kids will interfere with those things, but when you get those alone special moments it's incredibly important to reenforce why you are special to each other. If you've lost that physical attraction to your wife after childbirth, then you're just shallow and self absorbed. He's a lawyer, so im leaning towards the self absorbed aspect. Incredibly sad this woman is the one who is blamed, and has to undergo this horrendous Dr. Phil style interview. Yuck.
I bet you 100 bucks it was Bob who told her she was frigid, the pig. She needs counselling all the way out the door of that marriage.
You sound angry, bitter …
she has failed as a wife
here we go....more "playing the victim". He works everyday....making a lot of money, I'm sure, as an Attorney.....she stays at home, plays with the kids and watches soap operas....but somehow he's the bad guy?? I don't think so.....tell me more about how "oppressed" she is....LOL
Spoken like a modern frigid western woman.
Interesting. This woman talks in complete sentences and never used the word "like" once.
And it's funny how everyone here beats up on "Bob".
Her husband is a lawyer. Case dismissed; he is probably a despicable human being.
🎯 See my comment above
@@Sealust50well I think these are re enacted, maybe wholly fictional. In this case, the screen writer in attempting to develop an insensitive character decided to start with Bob being a lawyer. I know there are a few really decent people who are lawyers. I am 62 and I have met 1, perhaps there are more.
@@tibbar1000id you read my comment above? Along with everything I said, there was no talking or relating to my ex. If I wanted to discuss or talk about any given issue, he would weigh it like it was on a scale or something. He was far too objective to ever agree or support my viewpoints or feelings on matters. The justice scales were always his means of processing his thoughts and feelings. I never received any emotional or spiritual support from him. If anything, he devalued and discounted all my thoughts or perspectives on matters. I truly believe that this way of relating to others is ingrained into their psyche beginning in law school. I personally have never met an attorney who is any different.
@@Sealust50 wow….I will read both comments again after work. I hope you have found peace and happiness with all of that behind you.
This woman agreed to share a very private part of her life to educate people, and even now there are people daring to disrespect her and her problem. She does not "play" with kids all day, she raises them, and she might feel unfulfilled with her role as a housewife. Yes, her husband works a lot to provide the family, but they chose the lifestyle they both contribute to. No matter what job you have, one thing stays the same: communication between two. And there had been a lack thereof.
P.S. In a video there is an actress of course, but the medical case in question is one of the patient's.
All she needs is a husband who understands that women need to be led into sexual desire, whereas men are ready to go at the drop of a hat, anytime. (Not always of course, but that’s the overall norm of our different biology).
Lol stop projecting
Biches are ready to go as you say at the drop of a hat, too, and squirt like fountains
Sounds like someone hasn't bred too many biches or broken up any marriages.
Projection is always amusing
Do you think men don't like to feel desired? Many times I stopped putting effort into "getting somebody going" because many things weren't reciprocated. I have to make them desire me, I have to do this and that for the relationship, and not once can I be GIVEN or be shown desire? I have to prove myself.or MAKE them want me? Stop stop. I see a woman I love and I'm ready. Maybe just once in a while she can show me desire and make me feel wanted.
@@Dave-qi3ft everything's not about money which is why many women date ex-cons who can dote on them.
Then women would never masturbate. Everyone has an innate, natural sexual desire yet when you get married your sexuality becomes attached to a person and either they have to make you want it, make you feel desired or respond or else you won't want to have sex with them. It's just ridiculous.
Touch this, touch that, do this, do that, spice it up or be boring yet you watch men and women have sex and you are aroused where no one touches you or loves you or cares for you. We live in a wicked and vile, unable to be satisfied generation; men and women alike.
Before I even watch this, I’m guessing they had a child/children since marrying. If so, their kids were between infancy and 3 years old at the time of the interview. My husband and I were in our 30s and felt fully prepared for our lives to change (with kids) but we underestimated just how much of a “reset” every part of life would need. I think we came through it well because we never lost empathy for each other. Even so, it’s a tough change to navigate.
Reay great therapist. Im impressed at how he explored all aspects of her situation and brought the husband into the picture telling her that he should come in and participate in solving these problems.
She describes the typical cycle of narcissistic abuse...love bombing from a seemingly charming partner whos putting on a mask put then resents not being the center of attention, not getting as much praise and validation and sees the kids as competition and begins to devalue the wife and destroy her confidence...timeless
14:48-15:10 sense entitlement, disregard
15:46-15:53 lack of empathy
16:04-16:09 devaluation
She doesn’t want to have sex in that manner, because it undermines her sense of worth.
💯
We don't know that though unless we know if he's got empathy. It depends on how he responds to her attempts to open up and be vulnerable. In my mind, it could go either way at this point. UPDATE: He went to counseling (the interview with him is shown in the next video title ".... the Wife's Husband"). No narcissist is going to do that unless forced in some way.
@hfortenberry she did state clearly that his response to her attempts to communicate with him was to devalue her and put her down, that does strike me as lack of empathy. For the record I have 49 years of first hand experience with narcissism through my own personal relationships ( father, partners, ex husband) and I am a cluster B myself, ranking low on empathy...hate to say it but it takes one to know one 🤷🏻♀️...I'm usually pretty spot on at identifying narc behaviors/traits...I do appreciate the fact that you are showing caution around using the term though, it's very wise of you, I do agree most people are too quick to diagnose without truly understanding what narcissism really is. I sadly do. Thanks for your reply.
Found Sigmund Freud Jr.
So he demeans her, he is checked out, she is unhappy with him, and he still wants her to be a cougar in the sack, and she thinks that telling him what she needs is being a traffic cop...she was raised to be a doormat, and it is no wonder that she dreads going to bed with her husband.
"raised to be a doormat"? How so? These were different times mon ami but at no point did this lady suggest that her mother said she had to be servile.
Different times but it’s still the same. Women need at least a little seduction and lead-in to spark their sexual desire. Doesn’t take much. They’re not just ready to go anytime and all the time, like men are. In general.
here we go....more "playing the victim". He works everyday....making a lot of money, I'm sure, as an Attorney.....she stays at home, plays with the kids and watches soap operas....but somehow he's the bad guy?? I don't think so.....tell me more about how "oppressed" she is....LOL
@@davidlemaster2034 Ignore this man. He is clearly trolling for reactions.
First to comment. I feel so bad for this lady because it’s so obvious the husband is the problem. He seems to be controlling and abusive. I feel he was a narcissist as she said basically she fell head over heels for him. That she could talk to him like she never did with anyone else . What a shame she doesn’t see it but I went through a similar situation . It’s nice the doctor sees it and I hope she got to be in a better place . She deserves it
Sounds like she fell for a man because he had money.. The guy was a prick, but also girls should stop rewarding bad guys with marriage and attention even if they are good looking or have money.
hold your horses there, raging feminist youtube psychoanalyst. throwing away diagnosis such as "he is the problem", "he seems to be controlling and abusive", you "FEEL he was a narcissist", "she deserves (better)"... this goes to show just how women today have strayed and why we should avoid having anything serious to do with modern western women. this right here will be the downfall of our civilization.
@@LegoSwordViedos no..she worked. You don’t have money when you’re a new attorney. The money doesn’t come until later.. the husband is a jerk! Period!
I agree. He probably love bombed her at the beginning making her believe he was all that and a bag of chips then his narcissism came to the surface (his mask went away) and she ended up basically putting up boundaries to protect herself from his abuse and this is what they called being *frigid.* Sigh.
It amazes me how mature a 26 year old was then.
Yup, now 26yr olds are still living with single mommy, playing video games.
There should be another interview with this lady now....to see how things worked out for her after all these years
She started banging her therapist, and he sent her to some of his colleagues, where she continued her "Therapy" They then put her on medications to ensure they weren't exposed. Her addictions continued, her life was destroyed, and nobody would ever believe anything she said; it was a sad, lonely ending for her.
And the husband married a younger woman, who was more responsive to his charm and valued his career and what it brought to her life.
This video captures the birth of the female delusion. Now look at where we are.
@@sandwich-breath
She had a baby then divorced him and took him to the cleaners.
we will serve that right up for you champ whatever you little pricks want for free right away
Their acting.
Raised eyebrows is not foreplay. With that type of invitation, I wouldn't be too excited about it either.
Well it depends on the reason for the raised eyebrows.🤣🤣
Sounds to me like the same ole! Husbands busy, often works later & later…wifes busy, kids wear you out…husband just wants his stress & balls relieved ( yes, I’m serious)…not enough fore play or any at all…we don’t know…ya can’t just mount up & expect her to follow suit just like that…get real! I’ve heard a lot of these stories! Omg… some men just treat their wives like ragdolls! Truth! 😮😮😮
I read a study some years ago. Can't recall who did it or where, etc. But it was a study about the types of men women find most attractive sexually. Lawyers were at the bottom of the list. Carpenters were at the top of the list. This sweet, healthy gal needed a handyman, if you get my drift.
look, she needed to just get her brains bonked out, all that guy did was probably one stroke, DONE, haha. And good form him too, ya know? he married her, free pu&&y 24-7, when you get old and tired thats the easiest way, is he 10yrs older than her?
My wife said there's no such thing as a frigid woman, only a woman who isn't truly in love with her husband and feels no attraction to him at all. Back then many women got married just to get married, and not because they felt anything real for the guy.
She looks like she would be Kitty's sister in That 70s show. Seems genuinely nice
Or a bit like Rhoda to Mary Tyler Moore
What does frigid mean you don't get hot? 😂 Some people just don't like other people invading all in their personal space
What a delightful lady. Completely normal in every way.
Most house wives lose interest when they realize that there is happiness beyond cooking and cleaning sweeping while your husband kicks his feet up and piles children and laundry on you. This is why it's important to show appreciation to your spouse by helping with the household with parental duties and don't forget to be romantic and emotionally attentive. If anyone disagrees with me, that's your problem. I'm not right or wrong I'm just giving a little insight into the mind of a homemaking wife.
I disagree with you- and it's my problem.
98% of all women would be a lot happier as traditional wives and mothers. They don't belong in the workforce.
There is nothing wrong with her.
It's her husband that is the problem.
Nope he provides
@@ugaais Yeah, is it any wonder women back then had begun wanting their own income, credit, and so forth? I don't know anyone anymore who's financially dependent on her man; in fact, the very idea is somewhat terrifying.
Two to tango.
@@nancymcmonarch they cut off my post that explains how my 20 year marriage has been to my stay at home wife..mother who left her HR manager position a a well known company to support my endeavors by keeping the home and children in order and now at 52 and semi retired and we have a great life here in SWFL
She seems so unhappy and tense. Hubby is obviously a bastard and doesn't care for her. Its actually a personal tragedy unfolding before us here. I hope she found her peace and her fulfilment in life.
Well said..and why am I watching this ...lol..I been divorced for 7 years lol
A total bastard!! What kind of fool are you? Have you heard from him, seen him, listened to him but you go straight in with " he's a total bastard"? Jesus god love your poor husband if you were even able to keep one.
Actually at the time it was a reflection of the societal norm. The male was the product of his own upbringing which we now see as dysfunctional. He didn't know any better. You are looking at history remember. I try to be less critical and more understanding. I concur most would wish Linda well....but Bob too. This was a teaching aid remember so the world was moving on.,
So, this lady decided to see her shrink on a soundstage in front of an entire camera crew with hot lights, sound tech, grips, producer etc.? Oh, ok I get it. This isn’t staged at all.
That doctor was spectacular. So empathetic.
Her husband knew out to please her in the beginning of their relationship. Sounds like now he just expects his nighly serviceing and the romanticism is gone. (He bought the cow and expects the milk for free).
I bet if the husband got therapy, all of ‘her’ problems would go away.
This interview was phenomenal. Hard to believe it is from 1972 and still so relevant now.
LESSON TO LEARN: NEVER MARRY AN ATTORNEY!!! I should know - I divorced one after 18 years of marriage. Banged my head against the wall trying to make it work, and even denied the failure of our relationship, but finally I came to the point where couldn't take it any longer. Physical and emotional abuse were also factors. I NEVER wanted to have sex with him and now I finally know why. I didn't realize that leaving was not a failure, but instead an empowering personal success. Thank the Lord I finally saw the light.
My ex wife and I talked after our divorce. She said her lawyer was cheating on his wife(he specializes in divorce).
Because every attorney is identical... and every spouse of an attorney is blameless? What a selfish bigoted opinion to share, I don't see even the slightest pretense of logic in your comment. The Parkland shooter was autistic, is every person with autism going to go out and kill people in cold blood? This is just irresponsible and self-centered.
@@tibbar1000 .......your ex was getting the salami from her lawyer. I cracked the case Sherlock.
@@skandababy .....she's just a typical bitter femaie. It's never *their* fault in anything. *YOU'RE THE PROBLEM*
@@hpygolkyone hAhahahahah. They deserve each other.
Bob is interested in an intern at the law office.
Yeah.
me too!
Glad that doctor could tell her what she can do and what she can’t do. Too bad she felt she had to go along with what he said.
This was much better than I expected it would be. Sometimes the past wasn't all terrible advice.
Anyone who thinks that is too young to know any better.
Such a timelessly helpful conversation
Good session. I wish any and all problems could be solved in just 1 visit and I know how unreasonable that is before anyone jumps at me.
26 year olds would be "like like, uuumm - blah blah" This lady is so mature
We were taught in school not to use like, um, er. We simply had a better education.
all men back then and even today we're never educated on how to be intimate with there partners. It was all about me me me get get get unfortunately.
Damn I feel for this woman.
Man was just emotionally beating on her after she tried her best.
She just wanted to feel loved again and not like a house robot.
I used to be a little cold when I was younger but I lost a special person a few years ago and now beat myself up over it. Will never make that mistake again.
Hope this relationship worked out for them and the kids..
This interview is over fifty years ago. Her grandchildren are having children of their own.
Don’t feel too bad for her. I’m sure she was paid the standard actors rate.
I hope this helped their marriage❤
I heard a minister once say, "There are no "frigid" women......just clumsy men". I tend to agree.
That sums this whole thing up perfectly.
Riiiiiiiiiiight....
Sounds totally reasonable and not at all colored by blind resentment
Was the minister gay?😂
No, there are "frigid" women and they should stay single
I love how a man "Explains" this to her and doesn't let her finish her answers.
Very sensible advice. Ahead of its time!!!
My ex called me frigid. Married for 14 years. He raped and beat me. I didnt like sex with him. Cause he would rape me. He never tried to be romantic, or loving. He couldnt even tell me he loved me. When I would ask for romance or love, he would tell me to stop being stupid.
I’m glad he’s your ex!
Wow literally my life too. God I wonder how common this really is
@@vegandolls why the man be like that though?
@@victoria.xseven7913 mental illness. A sadist, or narcissist
I was even worse than him, I showed weakness. I know right???
Her husband sounds like he constantly criticizes her ,that would turn anyone off, she feels insecure and not emotionally safe around him, in my opinion. Giving yourself sexually, for a woman, you must feel safe.
Broads getting pounded out by strangers on dating apps all the time. Try again.
What a great presentation.
I've been married 20 years. This woman really seems to be trying. Manipulation is a hell of a thing