The second problem I could express differently. Don't make your characters react and respond to every word and phrase, otherwise the dialogue will stagnate. Let the characters ignore some things and change the direction of the conversation so that dialogue has development.
And also sometimes people interrupt in the middle of a sentence so therefore a line of dialog or conversation could also be a sentence which was cut off while another character is replying with what they are saying.
A bit late for the party, I suppose, but this is how I'd approach the second point: I look up from my book "Hey, can I ask you something?" "Sure, go ahead." William replies.
I find the dialogue in action movies a bit too much. Always working towards a punchline, incredibly predictable and not at all natural (often iconic, yes. but not natural)
@@jarmoliebrand2005 My bf reckons the saber fight in phantom menace is the best one scene. He's wrong tho, its the one from empire strikes back with luke and vader.
NOW I SHALL REWRITE EVERY CONVERSATION MY CHARACTERS HAVE EVER HAD Edit: I'm not actually changing their dialogue literally, I haven't really written anything at all 😭
"I can't believe we made it at last." I threw open the curtains and looked out the window. "What a view." In this case the action designates the speaker. "Remark" isn't needed. And it's a signal word. It calls attention to itself, where "said" fades into obscurity.
Yes! Simply using an action to point to the speaker is usually more than enough to show who is speaking. I'm doing this a lot in the novel I'm currently working on, and I've found that I almost never need to use "said".
@@Sapphire864 correct, depending on the character and scene, how someone is speaking may be very important to the narrative. Do they have clues or a tell perhaps that indicates a lie? Stuff like this is important for crime/mystery stories as interrogating and studying the responses of a suspect. These details matter in other genres too where the way a person responds matters (Does their actions betray their words and does this mean something?) Analytical characters exist.
@@jackmeowmeowmeow2177 exactly! another example could be someone who isn't good with emotions and tends to misinterpret or constantly question someone's speech. It can vary quite a lot!
@@jackmeowmeowmeow2177 Yes, and using tags other than 'said' doesn't address that. Action tags are much better at showing depth of character than synonyms for 'said'. In fact, synonyms for 'said' should be seen the same way as adding excessive adverbs. As you said, 'does their *actions* betray their words and does this mean something? Use action tags to break up dialog, not weak synonyms for 'said'. Your writing will be much stronger.
One: "Repetitive dialogue tags." Two: "Overusing back and forth." Three: "Emotion exposition in dialogue." Thank you so much! Best regards from an Ukrainian! Keep writing!
I do read quite a bit of fan fiction. I can tell you probably the most common dialog mistake I see is overuse of names in the dialog. Almost every line has characters saying each other's names back and forth. There are very few cases where this would be what you want. When I was writing something for a worst fic ever type challenge I way overdid this on purpose. Then in the one place a name should have been used, I want total left field. It was something like this: " I love you, what was your name again?"
Supposedly there's some kind of study that showed people like hearing their name, and if you say them more often they'll find you more endearing. So maybe it should be a little more common in real life. It also seems to me to be really common in the material most likely to inspire fan fiction. So Supernatural. Harry Potter. The OG X-Files. Scully and Mulder never stop saying each other's names. Possibly this actually helps readers and viewers remember their names easier, and draws a stronger association between their names and their distinct personalities My instinct is to say that maybe this is a feature of lowest common denominator or even "low brow" entertainment, but I'm not sure it's not a feature of other pop darlings that also happen to be critical darlings, like Breaking Bad, or Sopranos. Certainly it could depend on how hyperbolic you're being about "nearly every line" but in the case of X-Files specifically it might as well be true.
I usually have a list of "names" of each character, to avoid that repetitive name, for example: for my main female character i have " her name", " the witch", "she", "the younger one",etc. And trying to switch between on tags at dialoges. 😊. Have fun writting and thank you for this comment! Free hugs to everyone! 🎉
@@futurestoryteller I've heard about that study, I think I'm the outlier in that, because I got to experience someone saying my name every few sentences when we talked, even though I was already paying attention to them, and it really grated my nerves. It felt condescending and patronising even though that wasn't the speaker's intention at all. I don't like using other people's names either, even when it's necessary, lol. Maybe I just don't like having people too close and that's one of the ways it comes out.
People don't even use other people's names that feuquently in real life.Granted dialogue doesn't have to and it also really shouldn't be 100% realistic however a character constantly saying another characters name to them just sounds very awkward,weird and unrealistic.
@GaryNac Well GaryNac, I'm going to have to disagree. Clearly you, GaryNac, have never seen a talkshow interview. Where and I kid you not, GaryNac, every sentence starts by acknowledging the name of the guest or ones of the hostes. GaryNac, I'm telling you, it truly is the most pleasant natural thing to listen to GaryNac. I hope you'll agree with me on that GaryNac. Now back to Linda, tell me Linda, is the sky really about to fall or is my bbq safe tonight Linda?
Good dialogue can also be about what the characters are *not* saying. Not just in terms of action, but also in subtext. This can help with removing dialogue tags, cutting out content that's not helping the scene, and expressing emotions or conveying a tone without directly saying it. (tl;dr - the rest of this is just an exercise I did where I rewrote the first example a few times to make different scenarios. I had a lot of fun and got me warmed up. It was like doing stretches before you work out.) Rewriting the first example: I throw my shoes off at the front door and tear open the curtains. Light pours into the room as I hear James wince behind me. He looms in the doorway and scans the room, no doubt assessing its tidiness. Heavy clouds hang above the mountain peaks and a smoky haze weaves through the valleys. “I can’t believe we actually made it,” I whisper. Without turning away, I fumble around for my camera. My wedding band dinks against the lens. The scratch is minor, but it’s going to ruin what would’ve been the perfect shot. I take it anyway after tossing my band on the bed. Maybe I can save it in post. James kicks my shoes aside as he shuffles inside. “You can say that again,” he gruffs as he shoves the door back to grab the last bag in the hallway. "A better view than the parking lot," I remind as I turn to him. The door glides itself to an unsatisfyingly steady close, so James drops the suitcases with a thunk to compensate for it. He meets my eyes with an accusing glare. “I’m exhausted.” Another rewrite: AC hits my skin, and I flip on the lights. I drop my bags as I drag myself to the window and throw open the curtains. “We finally made it,” I sigh in relief. Rolling waves pull me closer as I lean against the cool glass. I can smell the salt water from up here. With a grunt, James pushes in the last suitcase. “You can say that again,” he chuckles. “I’m exhausted.” A third rewrite: My breath hitches as I throw open the curtains. Everything looks so small from up here. You can’t even see the people down below in the massive sea of lights. A week ago, I was sleeping in the shelter across from this building. In the reflection of the glass, the woman with a tight bun and designer shoes looking back at me is unfamiliar now. “What a view,” I mutter. James rolls up behind me and sinks his hands into my waist. “You can say that again,” he whispers into my ear. My chest gets tight as his breath hits my skin, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on its end. When I shudder, I can see his smirk in the reflection. “I’m exhausted.”
@fallabeaufaebelle Interestingly enough good propaganda and manipulative speach tends to alot of the times tends to be more so of a matter of what doesn't get said as opposed to what does get said.
"We should watch how we say things," I say, turning off the TH-cam video. "That's what Abbie says, at least." "Kate says it too," she says, scrolling down the comments section. "I think it's safe to say that overusing 'say' is a bad thing." "Did you guys say something?" they say as they pass by. "I've heard it said that repetitious dialogue tags can make for a monotonous rhythm." "You can say that again," we say, chuckling. "That's the most sensible thing you've said all day."
Changing the word for “said” is one of my favorite things to do!😄 I usually don’t use “remarked”, but I like to use other words like “stated”, “breathed”, sighed”, “shouted,” and “exclaimed”!❤️
Just a few tips that come from professional editors. “Said” should be used about 80% of the time instead of other words. That’s because “said” is almost invisible to the reader so the dialogue is more natural. But you can write action tags to replace “said.” And sometimes you don’t need to add any tag if it’s obvious who’s saying the line.
@@BbGun-lw5vi Exactly. "Said" is a ghost word. It fades into the air. I use it when I'm not using an action to designate the speaker. Preferably an action that builds emotional reactions or character.
@@JustClaude13 You're operating under the assumption that something rote, repetitive and monotonous is "invisible." And the evidence in support of this is reinforced anecdotal bias. If you want the word you're using to be invisible so badly - don't use it. 🤷♂ Find an action or notable attribute to describe instead, and don't use _any_ dialogue tags. Period. Whole books have been written without use of the letter "E." I'm sure it can't be as hard as all that.
@@futurestoryteller Said” is not _literally_ invisible, but it’s a lot less eye catching than the other alternatives because it’s so neutral. And yes, you can write a book without using dialogue tags other than action attributes, but that can get unnatural if you’re not super skilled. There’s also a certain rhythm that can benefit from adding said, even if it’s not necessary.
@@BbGun-lw5vi I think that in normal conversations people say things, and so in a conversation with no rational emotional flourish to it - which is perhaps, most conversations, even in a novel - "said" would be appropriate. I don't think it's appropriate to put such a mundane word on a pedestal, especially not for its "non-descriptness." While I can certainly see the value of subtlty, I think the focus when cultivating art should be on proper means of _expression._ While it would be fair to urge discretion, I don't think the discipline is taught by giving artists half-assed shortcuts to "minimalism." Especially since it's so clearly a matter of taste, and opinion. "Said is dead" being a phrase so many writers these days still seem to lament getting from instructors and manuals. Okay, so it takes skill to write a book without _any_ dialogue tags. Why go about it halfway though? If you're going to go in on dialogue tags being "invisible" why not go _all the way_ in? I don't think anybody should keep track of how many times they've used said, *or* how many times they've "replaced" it with another word. Or how many times they've avoided tags at all. I think they should write in whatever way they believe best conveys the feeling they mean to get across. Frankly, anyone who would put down a book because there are too many substitute tags in place of the word "said" is pretentious, in the sense that they are clearly being very childish about a superficiality they've been convinced by peer pressure signifies adulthood. It's immaturity as maturity. Which is the worst kind. Many people claim the same level of "distractedness" by books written to break the fourth wall, in omniscient POV, or in the present tense. Those people all need to get over themselves.
For number two I would have used something like. “Oh come on, you’re going to nail it. No one has studied as much as you Kim.” I feel that line was supposed to be supportive and encouraging. Rather than just a statement of facts, but I could be wrong.
pretty sure that hasn't anything to do with reading comics, but with you I often find little to no difference between comic and novel dialogue. if dialogue cones out bad, ia that author
I strongly disagree with the stance on dialogue tags. When your dialogue is well-crafted, "said" is often sufficient. Overusing alternatives can quickly become annoying. Many writing coaches and books also recommend sticking to "said." Don't be afraid to use it-the emotion should be conveyed through the words and actions of the characters, not with overly creative dialogue tags.
@@ivee001 i have read a few of the Assassin's Creed novels, such as Assassin's Creed Forsaken, which sometimes makes use of alternative dialogue tags, which didn't bother me. It does at least help clarify how exactly something is said
Said is often sufficient but absolutely not always the most appropriate way to tag dialogue. There are breakdowns of famous author’s dialogue tag uses. They most certainly do not only use “said”. Tags need to be appropriate.
A nice tip I received is this is fiction. Readers are reading your story to get out of the mundane world, the don’t want conversations they hear every day. You can spice it up with a remark, a question to a question, all those crazy fake conversations that you’ve definitely thought of in your own life.
One counterpoint I've heard about the section about repetitive dialogue tag was the reverse: keeping them as "he said, she said," is repetitive but makes them invisible to the reader. Adding variations supposedly takes the reader out of the story because their attention shifts from what the characters are saying to the type of tag being used. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but I either heard this from another book TH-camr or a writing workshop
The other point is, if you constantly have to use other tags to indicate action or emotion, your dialogue is failing to provide that action or emotion.
"The only thing that would be invisible is something that's not there," they gesticulated with a wry smirk and a glimmer of edge in their eyes, each word more conceited than the last. "Nah," they malded, clutching desperately onto their overuse of corny dialogue tags instead of articulating an actual critique of the comments they disagree with... I'm just playing xD. For serious, it's important to be tasteful and purposeful with your use of dialogue tags. If you use none, your writing style will feel dreadfully samey and dry, and if you overdo it it really does become distracting. There are only so many words you can use instead of said that make any sense, and once you exhaust them in a conversation or use them too many times throughout a work readers will genuinely notice them every damn time and start keeping count in their head of how many times you use weird words instead of said.
I'm sorry, but this is terrible advice. DON'T google synonyms for 'said' - that's a really good way to look like an amateur. Don't use 'I remark' in place of 'I say': that doesn't fix the issue, it only draws more attention to it. That's far more clunky than two 'say's in a row. The advice to use action tags to break things up was good, and that, coupled with no tags at all, is far better advice than using synonyms. In fact, you shouldn't use anything other than 'said' more than a few times in your entire novel. 'He whispered', 'he hissed', 'he remarked', 'he seethed', 'he fumed' - these are all hallmarks of amateur writing. Instead, stick with 'he said' because it's mostly invisible, and when it becomes visible, either drop it entirely or use action tags. In your first example, *both* tags could be switched to action tags rather than resorting to 'he remarks', which is more clunky than the original example. It's not easy to get the rhythm, but please don't recommend people use synonyms for 'said' because that's objectively worse. e: for background, I’ve only got one novel under my belt, but I’ve got 30 years of user experience design and psychology. This is more a UX issue. e2: For example, here's an excerpt from the novel I'm currently working on (first draft, so not perfect): Cora held up a finger towards Evie and lifted the phone to her ear. ‘Hey mom.’ Her mother paused, her voice laced with forced composure. ‘Cora?’ Something wasn’t right. ‘Are you okay? Has something happened?’ ‘There’s been a death in the family. Your grandmother… she passed away a few days ago.’ ‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ The words sounded trite, like what you’d say to a stranger, but she couldn’t find better ones. Cora thought she should feel something, but she just didn’t. She hadn’t known the woman. Her grandmother was nothing but a distant name on childhood birthday cards. Her mother didn’t seem to register her words. ‘There are things we need to handle. She left you the house in Littlelight Bay. I’ve already listed it.’ Cora frowned, glancing around the 500 square feet she and Evie were paying $7,000 a month for. A house? ‘Wait. What?’ ‘It’s more of a burden, really.’ The idea of owning a house, any house, was a novelty Cora hadn’t imagined. Her mind swirled with possibilities. ‘Couldn’t we-?’ ‘Absolutely not.’ Her mother cut her off with uncharacteristic coldness. ‘The place is a wreck, Cora. A tiny shack of a thing. It would need a fortune thrown at it just to make it liveable. We’d profit on the land by tearing it down.' Not a single 'said' or any synonyms, and with the bonus of weaving in exposition.
If you ever feel like your dialogue sucks just remember lines like … “Somehow Palpatine has returned” & “Long love Bran the Broken” or “I don’t like sand”
Just the video I needed. Thanks. Lots of great advice. The only thing I would add is that when writing before and after the dialogue, I wouldn’t write ANYTHING that the reader can see or assume from the dialogue itself. To do so would be redundant, or over telling, and taking away from the readers’ personal experience of interpreting the dialogue for themselves. I’m currently writing an adventure romance story using only dialogue, as in only what’s being said. It’s similar to eavesdropping on someone’s telephone conversation. Doing this project is making me realize just how much readers pick up on dialogue alone. It’s going to help me to improve my novel writing. ❤
My advice about the said: (as also inspired by Brandon Sanderson's own words): Use it. It gets invisible, unlike what happens when you use too many synonyms all the time. My personal tactic is to just use no tag of 'said' etc. when it is not needed. Just the quotation marks and maybe an action. Just wanted to point that out
I thought the same. I used to think the right way was to avoid or replace, but other best-selling authors and agents say exactly what Sanderson says. I've studied just this aspect and he's right, you don't even notice it unless there's a lot of "replied," "scoffed," "remarked," etc. 🤷🏽♀️
Yeah, dialog with a repetitive rhythm is never good, and all of the talk here about workshopping bad rhythm and pacing is super on-point I think. However, agents, editors and professors all warn strongly against using tags other than “said”, or occasionally “shouted”, “whispered”, but even then you can often convey that in the words themselves. Use stronger verbs and stick to “said”, that’s what Sanderson and King have to say on the subject.
Abbie!! Kate!! I just want to let y’all know that your videos have been ridiculously helpful to me. I’ve now finished chapter one of my WIP and it has a fantastic hook with compelling internal conflict. Thanks so much because it wouldn’t have been possible without you :)
The most memorable and skillful display of body language Ive ever seen in film was Christof Waltz in Inglorious Bastards - in the opening of the film when he's speaking with the farmer. He drills down with that fake polite stare and, though it's almost imperceptible how it changes, his face becomes so devastatingly sharp and serious as he states that the Jewish family is hiding underneath the floor - it's one of the greatest examples of body language telling the story instead of dialogue, and even thinking about it years later still gives me the chills. Amazing acting.
This is SO HELPFUL! Thank you! My current project involves trying to manage 4-way conversations. The tags are necessary, but "said" is not coming out as invisible as I hoped.
Hi Abbie! I'm trying to run a small writing club with my friends, and will be using many of your videos as resources! Thank you for your writing advice!♥
Something I really appreciate about Suzanne Collin's writing in the hunger games was she really didn't have many descriptions of of facial expressions or getlstures during her character's dialogue. It allowed me to focus on the words and form an idea of who the character was through what they were saying much more. I love that style!
When I'm writing a scene, I'll sometimes act out what I think my characters facial expressions would be in that moment based on who they are as a character. It's really fun! Afterwards, I try to sum up those tiny differences in my face into a few words, so it feels fast paced but genuine. I think it's fun to act out the same thing for characters in books that have already been written too!
Some good advice! It's especially interesting that some very famous authors suggest to only use "said" and no other tags. I never liked that suggestion, but some writers live by it.
Your new subscriber here!!! Currently re-writting my story I wrote in 2021 learning so many new new things from you , you're so helpful!!!!! Thank you so much
Solid video! While all the information presented was good, the biggest thing I learned from you today if the character has to say how they feel, say their emotion(s), then I need to rewrite it! I've been struggling with that in my own story, so thanks for helping me pinpoint the issue. You're both awesome!😃
My editor once told me "Said is not dead!" I don't think "said" gets noticeably repetitive until it's VERY repetitive because the word kind of becomes invisible to the reader, usually. What would be worse is using too many different crazy dialogue tags. (I know this is an ongoing debate within the writing community.)
I’ve talked to many professional editors and they all agree that “said” should not be replaced with other words except sporadically. And sometimes you don’t need it all if you know who’s speaking. And action tags can help vary things.
@@futurestorytellernothing ever? You’re conscious of every comma, every period, every instance of “the” and “and” while you’re reading? Sounds like hell
I was already having some thoughts of writing, and after I saw your channel, I am really just wanting to do it more! You're helping me SO MUCH! I have been wanting to make a history about grief, and I want to become a great writer just like you!
Variation, moderation, and awareness is key to creative writing. Wonderful and insightful video. While I agree with many of the points made, I somewhat disagree, specifically with the advice of paying attention to little details such as a character's expressions to convey their emotions. That can easily be overdone, distracting from the dialogue itself. It can also be a sign that the dialogue is weak and not doing its job of conveying personality. Even if that personality is being introverted or avoidant, it should still be present in what is being said versus what isn't being said. I've seen many writers-including myself, we're all guilty here-hyperfixate and overdo those little expressions and movements to a point where every other line is "he looked up at her" , "she frowned", "she sighed" or "he tilted his head slightly to the right". When overused, it feels like the narration is trying to fill space at that point. It can really slow down the pacing and take away from the bigger picture. It can be very tedious and distracting to read, especially if the writer is relying on the same common expressions and movements repetitively. Speaking as both a writer and an artist, visual storytelling and written storytelling are two completely different artforms. While one can serve as inspiration for the other, they shouldn't be approached in the same way. For me, the best written dialogue is when you don't need dialogue tags for clarity. You don't need to micromanage your characters using subtle expressions and movements to convey what they are feeling. The reader will know who is speaking, because the dialogue is strong, unique on an individual level, and the character's personality so present in the dialogue itself. You don't always need the clarity. You don't need to tell the reader when the character is "smiling" or "sad" or "yelling", because it will be implied by your choice of words. Don't hyperfixate on your characters, but on their experiences. The reader will know how your character is feeling, because they'll be sharing in the experience. For example, instead of telling us the character is smiling as they look out the window, describe what they are seeing beyond the window. Describe what is causing them to have this warm, happy feeling. Whether it's something physical or a fond memory. This will help the reader see things through the character's perspective and get inside their head, as opposed to just seeing what's on the character's face. When I see characters being constantly micromanaged, specifically when it comes to dialogue, I encourage writers to ask themselves what is more important: What a character is saying or how they are saying it? If the dialogue is strong enough, you don't need to tell us how they are saying it, because the reader will know. If you are allowing them to share in the experience, the reader will understand what they are going through. Those expressions and tiny movements can be implied based on those experiences. Trust in your readers to understand the subtext of a conversation without spelling it out for them.
Thank you for answering the questions I couldn’t think of or didn’t know who to ask. I really appreciate this channel because it either alleviates my doubts or helps me improve. Easiest “subscribe” moment ever. ❤
👍 Wonderful inside on dialogue. But nowadays, I'm wondering about the pacing of a big fantasy story. For me, how to pace my story with multiple pov and especially when a few are on the same environment.
23:00 I find that Pirateaba is very good at this. When I'm reading The Wandering Inn there are a lot of different perspectives and some characters POVs are written in first person while others are written in third person. The third person narration is really good. Its that type of narrator that is aware of the character's emotions and what they are thinking at all times, even assuming the character's personalities and qualities in the narration. It makes you really immersed in that character's mentality and what they are going through, while still allowing that bit of otherness that comes with third person narration. I love it.
I remember in 7th grade English, my teacher made the law "SAID IS DEAD". Meaning, if you did a writing assignment (especially an essay) and used the word "said", you could get points deducted.
I gotta admit. I’m invested in the stories I choose to read. So much so I often overlook bad dialogue if I’m that genuinely invested. And I think many readers can do that too if other aspects of the story are strong.
Omg, I've been doing this without thinking! I'm glad I'm doing it right! I shall still examine my dialogue going forward to make sure it's all still engaging
I give actions priority over general tags. Questions: asks, answers, informs, sugguests, thinks to themself. Dynamics: exclaims, yells, shouts, whispers, mumbles. Modifiers: with compassion/malice, with confidence/shyness, with conviction/guilt, with passion/apathy, demands/offers, commands(to show authority) /underminds, speaks(when addressing crowds or royalty)
The summary bullet point page is really helpful, Abbie. I listen at work and collate them together afterwards. It’s making my series more attainable. (Oops, a weasel word 😂)
One thing for tags, it depends your style but I usually follow Shirley Jackson's advice which is you usually use said and then you use words like screamed or yelled or something for effect
my favourite sisters :) This analysis of the dialogue is really amazing. I really see the difference in these exaples and for me it's a game changer :) Thanks again my favourite sisters for sharing this with us.
Abbie, this is the first time I've ever disagreed with you. I often use said. Characters dont need to exclaim everything! Said becomes invisible after a while and the dialogue flows better without weird tags
I completely disagree with you. I agree said should be used but if all you use is said honestly your writing has to suck. I’m not assuming you only use said. But there is not such thing as weird tags. Other than “growl” or “hiss”
This was very helpful. Thank you so much! I think I'm great with dialogue, but not so great with narrative descriptions. I come from a theatre background, writing my debut novel. I picture the scenes being acted out in my mind, but I tend to forget I have to describe what's happening, lol. My first draft reads almost like a script in some places, as my CP often correctly points out.
We can also use hinting phrases not only is it effective, but also fun, because you know what it means and others don't, so they have a chance to interpret it in their own ways, filtered with their emotions.
Another good tip to enhance the emotions one is watching movies without the sound on and trying to decipher what the characters are feeling based solely on actions and visuals so you can apply it to the prose.
This was one of the better episodes I think. I'm glad at the end you all also mentioned not to stress about perfect dialogue in the first draft, but making sure you have these tools for revision! One the topic of repetitive tags, I've also heard that "said" is usually a good "go-to", and that you can also overuse other words if they distract from the dialogue as well. However, I think one author who overused "said" was Frank Herbert in Dune, and the other Dune books. Many times in the dialogue scene I was taken out by repetitive: "Paul said" "Jessica said" "Alia said", so there is an example that I think the dialogue could've been improved from this. Although in all fairness, I like Dune for the concepts/ideas and not at all for the prose, so the shoe fits lol
Personally I would rather have a back and forth that feels authentic than an exchange that's concise but "feels written." Also not to argue with the advice itself, per se, but I find it funny how molodramatic that one scene became when you took the emotional emphasis out of the dialogue and moved it into description.
Hmm, yeah I think back and forth between two characters is fine if it's used for a comedic element. Just think of the banter in a Buddy Cop movie. Seeing the two characters bounce comments back and forth is part of what makes the movie fun.
I like to write my dialogue this way - especially for critical dialogues. Assuming that you know your characters, the relationships between the characters, the context of the conversation, and the purpose of the conversation relative to the character arcs and the plot, then the best way to write dialogue is to role play the scene (ideally with someone else) and record what you say, how you say it, and what you do. Do this several times. Now look at the recordings and translate the best of that into words and use that as your template for the written dialogue. I find this exercise very enlightening.
It helps to have a writing partner or support person. If there's a particular conversation you're worried about, you each can take the role of a character and recite the convo and record it. Not a video but strictly sound. When you play it back, you can hear what works and what doesn't.
How do I write pauses in a dialogue tho?? Sometimes I want my character to pause between words, who is not in pov. Using too many "..." gets awkward after a while
This is actually a very good question. Using ellipses can definitely be overpowering. I suggest write it with ellipses and read it back to yourself a load of times. You’ll be able to find the ones you really need vs the ones that will annoy a reader.
A wonderful series, Dragon Gate, kept doing this. She's a self published author (Lyndsay Buroker) so maybe why she didn't edit it out. I was so bumped out of one section when she kept using "said" I only noticed it in one paragraph! But it definitely made me notice it.
Sometimes if its just two people doing a back and forth and you want them to talk quickly or have the intensity of the scene to be higher. you can drop the said and the character actions for a few lines, then punctuate the pauses with character descriptions and inner thoughts, i always found theat quite powerful. Its easy to follow if you make every new dialogue switch to the other person as well.
Hi, Kate and Abbie!!! Thank you for your great videos everytime! I have a doubt, cause i usually use the tag "..." to intensify a reaction or to express doubt on my character. Like blank or silent spaces, but i usually use them very offen and i'm aware of it. There is something more that i can use or another technique i should apply to avoid the repetition? Thank you!! Hugs!
Something that I always do is act the scene out or read it aloud like I’m narrating an audio book. That helps to see if it sounds natural for the characters or if it’s repetitive
Does anyone have any tips on what to do when you have five characters in a conversation? I feel like it gets annoying having to say who says each line. I know I could add an action instead of dialogue tag but I would love to hear people’s ideas on this!
Although it's not really correct or widely used from what I've seen, my approach is to put the speaker's name followed by what they're saying in like a script format eg. Alex: Good morning, Mary! Mary: FailedToAllocateCorrespondingResponse Personally for me, I struggle to know who's saying what line without names everywhere so I just use the script method to make things easier for myself. Do what suits you!
I watched several videos not that long ago that said to use only said and asked (or no dialogue tag at all) and to avoid tags like exclaimed, yelled, etc... Sometimes writing advice is so confusing and frustrating.
The use of says. This was something I was just helping my 10 year old with with his summer prep work. It challenged them to find more descriptive words to write dialogue. And not use says or said for everything.
Be careful giving this advice. According to professional editors, replacing “said” with a bunch of descriptive terms is an amateur mistake. That’s because “said” is almost invisible to the reader, so it makes dialogue sound more natural. Pick up any professional book and you’ll see that “said” makes up about 80% dialogue tags. But sometimes you don’t need an action tag at all if it’s clear who’s speaking. And it’s good to throw in action tags into the dialogue instead of said to keep the dialogue from sounding like talking heads.
Thank you. I am not giving advice but an experience. I have read through many professional books. I was referencing a simple getting ready for 5th grade exercise from my son's school teacher. Kids often write exclusively using said or says as well as using I to start their sentences. It's an elementary school teachers activity to help children find other ways to write a sentence beyond what they are comfortable with. Not a never use said or says. Children are definitely rookies in the world of writing.
@@bryonygrealish6663 I guess the reason I wanted to mention it is that a lot of this writing advice in school does more harm than good. I spent so many years, along with other people I knew, replacing “said” with “interesting words.” A lot of writing tips like this one take away the natural way of writing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to teach kids to vary up sentence structure, but it should be done carefully. The first lesson in writing should be clarity in communication.
His activity was only a short rewrite of five sentences. It's not a big focus in the curriculum. Not a huge deal. I did not instruct people on what to do or tell them this is the only way to write or give anyone advice. I shared a small experience to connect with something discussed in this video. I understand that you wanted to share some knowledge on this subject. When a comment starts with a warning to be careful, it no longer becomes a discussion but advice on what not to do. Thank you for your time. I will not be responding further.
@@bryonygrealish6663 Whoa! You got offended. Didn’t mean to do that. It’s true that I was giving advice. I was just trying to help your son from falling into one of the pitfalls that I, and many others, fell into. But I’m ok with this whole exchange ending here.
For the actions in dialogue, my best advice would be to act out what your character is doing and try to put it into words. Is you character remembering something? Act it out and pay attention to your gestures, like looking up, or putting your finger over your mouth. I've found that acting what I'm writing is very useful because I can really know how to describe things and when to add action in the middle of a dialogue... or not add anything at all.
The "I said" "she said" "he said" is unbelievable in some VERY popular books. Wings of fire, warrior cats, True Grit, Inheritence series, etc. Its so noticible that its painful even though the story is THAT emmersive. Its very hard to sit through, but I want to because of the story.
@@XxShade_FrostxX Most published novels use “said” about 80% of the time, along with action attributes. The reason is that “said” is not as eye catching as other descriptive dialogue tags. Most readers stop paying attention to the word “said” as they read along, which makes the dialogue flow better. But it’s not good to use it with every dialogue line. You want to sprinkle in some action attributes or eliminate a tag altogether if it’s not needed.
"Said" is the best option for dialogue tags most of the time. Using others too much can actually pull the reader out more than "said". It's better to show the reader how your character is reacting than to rely on dialogue tags to convey their emotions. Using "said" too much can also pull a reader out, sometimes no dialogue tags are the answer. Just thought this could use some clarification since it's a common writing mistake and the advice gets passed on so much. Most professional publishers and editors will tell you this.
While I prefer the varied dialogue tags, I have also heard that only 'said' should only be used. My enjoyment from playing with words drives my preference. Likely neither is wrong, but each appropriate contextually. In an active scene where the dialogue spars verbally, repeated 'said' may be better as tags simply make the speaker clear. Meanwhile, for an immersive mood piece, the varied dialogue tags feels more textured. If one only writes one type of story, then saying there is only one best way makes sense. Instead recognizing strengths and weaknesses of different methods allows picking the best tool based upon the task.
A lot of advice out there saying to basically use said almost exclusively so I like your advice. I understand if you are putting in thesures type tags but there are times said just does not work or convey the emotion of the moment.
i believe that repetetive tags within speech can be good "she SAID that we were supposed to stand by! she SAID that we were to only be there if we were needed! she SAID that we were to only aprehened! she SAID to remain calm! so why did you ignore her!" repetiveness can also increase the impact, with someone tells someone something multiple times in dialogue, it emphasises that point, if a character repeats that another has said something multiple times, it emphasises it, repetiveness CAN be good, depending on the writer, the same goes for back and forth, though it also depends on quality of the back and forths
My issue with dialogue tags is how often things like "X said" are placed after the dialogue, so you don't know who the speaker is until after you've read it. And if my internal voice didn't match because I initially thought a different character was speaking, then I find that to be more distracting than repetitive action words. In my own personal writing I prefer to do dialogue like it's done in scripts, by having the name of the speaker followed by a colon and then their dialogue, avoiding those action word tags altogether. This is inherently repetitive since you will see the speaker names over and over, but I find it speeds up my own pace when reading since the names become nearly invisible just like many say happens with "said".
The second problem I could express differently. Don't make your characters react and respond to every word and phrase, otherwise the dialogue will stagnate. Let the characters ignore some things and change the direction of the conversation so that dialogue has development.
This is super important. In real life people don’t address everything. Or they change the conversation. There are also misunderstandings.
And also sometimes people interrupt in the middle of a sentence so therefore a line of dialog or conversation could also be a sentence which was cut off while another character is replying with what they are saying.
A bit late for the party, I suppose, but this is how I'd approach the second point:
I look up from my book "Hey, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, go ahead." William replies.
To avoid writing boring dialogue, just imagine every conversation as a scene in an action movie-minus the explosions, but keep the excitement!
Good comment. Very helpful.
I always find good dialogue scenes more thrilling than good action scenes in books especially.
I tend to write Tarantino-esque dialog.
I find the dialogue in action movies a bit too much. Always working towards a punchline, incredibly predictable and not at all natural (often iconic, yes. but not natural)
@@jarmoliebrand2005 My bf reckons the saber fight in phantom menace is the best one scene. He's wrong tho, its the one from empire strikes back with luke and vader.
NOW I SHALL REWRITE EVERY CONVERSATION MY CHARACTERS HAVE EVER HAD
Edit: I'm not actually changing their dialogue literally, I haven't really written anything at all 😭
Twice!
Real
LOL XD
TELL ME ABOUT ITTTTT😅
I feel u
"I can't believe we made it at last." I threw open the curtains and looked out the window. "What a view."
In this case the action designates the speaker. "Remark" isn't needed. And it's a signal word. It calls attention to itself, where "said" fades into obscurity.
Agree, perfect, this is the best comment
Yes! Simply using an action to point to the speaker is usually more than enough to show who is speaking. I'm doing this a lot in the novel I'm currently working on, and I've found that I almost never need to use "said".
I’ve always been creative with my dialogue tags but as I’ve progressed as a writer I’ve begun to realizing that using “said” is usually the best way.
I think balancing it is nice. It depends on the emotion and the narrator imo.
@@Sapphire864 correct, depending on the character and scene, how someone is speaking may be very important to the narrative. Do they have clues or a tell perhaps that indicates a lie? Stuff like this is important for crime/mystery stories as interrogating and studying the responses of a suspect. These details matter in other genres too where the way a person responds matters (Does their actions betray their words and does this mean something?) Analytical characters exist.
@@jackmeowmeowmeow2177 exactly! another example could be someone who isn't good with emotions and tends to misinterpret or constantly question someone's speech. It can vary quite a lot!
@@jackmeowmeowmeow2177 Yes, and using tags other than 'said' doesn't address that. Action tags are much better at showing depth of character than synonyms for 'said'. In fact, synonyms for 'said' should be seen the same way as adding excessive adverbs. As you said, 'does their *actions* betray their words and does this mean something? Use action tags to break up dialog, not weak synonyms for 'said'. Your writing will be much stronger.
The dose makes the poison, right?
One: "Repetitive dialogue tags."
Two: "Overusing back and forth."
Three: "Emotion exposition in dialogue."
Thank you so much!
Best regards from an Ukrainian!
Keep writing!
I do read quite a bit of fan fiction. I can tell you probably the most common dialog mistake I see is overuse of names in the dialog. Almost every line has characters saying each other's names back and forth. There are very few cases where this would be what you want. When I was writing something for a worst fic ever type challenge I way overdid this on purpose. Then in the one place a name should have been used, I want total left field. It was something like this:
" I love you, what was your name again?"
Supposedly there's some kind of study that showed people like hearing their name, and if you say them more often they'll find you more endearing. So maybe it should be a little more common in real life. It also seems to me to be really common in the material most likely to inspire fan fiction. So Supernatural. Harry Potter. The OG X-Files. Scully and Mulder never stop saying each other's names. Possibly this actually helps readers and viewers remember their names easier, and draws a stronger association between their names and their distinct personalities
My instinct is to say that maybe this is a feature of lowest common denominator or even "low brow" entertainment, but I'm not sure it's not a feature of other pop darlings that also happen to be critical darlings, like Breaking Bad, or Sopranos.
Certainly it could depend on how hyperbolic you're being about "nearly every line" but in the case of X-Files specifically it might as well be true.
I usually have a list of "names" of each character, to avoid that repetitive name, for example: for my main female character i have " her name", " the witch", "she", "the younger one",etc. And trying to switch between on tags at dialoges. 😊. Have fun writting and thank you for this comment! Free hugs to everyone! 🎉
@@futurestoryteller I've heard about that study, I think I'm the outlier in that, because I got to experience someone saying my name every few sentences when we talked, even though I was already paying attention to them, and it really grated my nerves. It felt condescending and patronising even though that wasn't the speaker's intention at all.
I don't like using other people's names either, even when it's necessary, lol.
Maybe I just don't like having people too close and that's one of the ways it comes out.
People don't even use other people's names that feuquently in real life.Granted dialogue doesn't have to and it also really shouldn't be 100% realistic however a character constantly saying another characters name to them just sounds very awkward,weird and unrealistic.
@GaryNac
Well GaryNac, I'm going to have to disagree. Clearly you, GaryNac, have never seen a talkshow interview. Where and I kid you not, GaryNac, every sentence starts by acknowledging the name of the guest or ones of the hostes.
GaryNac, I'm telling you, it truly is the most pleasant natural thing to listen to GaryNac.
I hope you'll agree with me on that GaryNac.
Now back to Linda, tell me Linda, is the sky really about to fall or is my bbq safe tonight Linda?
Good dialogue can also be about what the characters are *not* saying. Not just in terms of action, but also in subtext. This can help with removing dialogue tags, cutting out content that's not helping the scene, and expressing emotions or conveying a tone without directly saying it.
(tl;dr - the rest of this is just an exercise I did where I rewrote the first example a few times to make different scenarios. I had a lot of fun and got me warmed up. It was like doing stretches before you work out.)
Rewriting the first example:
I throw my shoes off at the front door and tear open the curtains. Light pours into the room as I hear James wince behind me. He looms in the doorway and scans the room, no doubt assessing its tidiness.
Heavy clouds hang above the mountain peaks and a smoky haze weaves through the valleys. “I can’t believe we actually made it,” I whisper. Without turning away, I fumble around for my camera. My wedding band dinks against the lens. The scratch is minor, but it’s going to ruin what would’ve been the perfect shot. I take it anyway after tossing my band on the bed. Maybe I can save it in post.
James kicks my shoes aside as he shuffles inside. “You can say that again,” he gruffs as he shoves the door back to grab the last bag in the hallway.
"A better view than the parking lot," I remind as I turn to him.
The door glides itself to an unsatisfyingly steady close, so James drops the suitcases with a thunk to compensate for it. He meets my eyes with an accusing glare. “I’m exhausted.”
Another rewrite:
AC hits my skin, and I flip on the lights. I drop my bags as I drag myself to the window and throw open the curtains. “We finally made it,” I sigh in relief. Rolling waves pull me closer as I lean against the cool glass. I can smell the salt water from up here.
With a grunt, James pushes in the last suitcase. “You can say that again,” he chuckles. “I’m exhausted.”
A third rewrite:
My breath hitches as I throw open the curtains. Everything looks so small from up here. You can’t even see the people down below in the massive sea of lights. A week ago, I was sleeping in the shelter across from this building. In the reflection of the glass, the woman with a tight bun and designer shoes looking back at me is unfamiliar now.
“What a view,” I mutter.
James rolls up behind me and sinks his hands into my waist. “You can say that again,” he whispers into my ear. My chest gets tight as his breath hits my skin, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on its end. When I shudder, I can see his smirk in the reflection. “I’m exhausted.”
@fallabeaufaebelle Interestingly enough good propaganda and manipulative speach tends to alot of the times tends to be more so of a matter of what doesn't get said as opposed to what does get said.
I love all of these. Great job rewriting!
these rewrites are great!
"We should watch how we say things," I say, turning off the TH-cam video. "That's what Abbie says, at least."
"Kate says it too," she says, scrolling down the comments section. "I think it's safe to say that overusing 'say' is a bad thing."
"Did you guys say something?" they say as they pass by. "I've heard it said that repetitious dialogue tags can make for a monotonous rhythm."
"You can say that again," we say, chuckling. "That's the most sensible thing you've said all day."
good one😂😂
Changing the word for “said” is one of my favorite things to do!😄 I usually don’t use “remarked”, but I like to use other words like “stated”, “breathed”, sighed”, “shouted,” and “exclaimed”!❤️
Just a few tips that come from professional editors. “Said” should be used about 80% of the time instead of other words. That’s because “said” is almost invisible to the reader so the dialogue is more natural.
But you can write action tags to replace “said.” And sometimes you don’t need to add any tag if it’s obvious who’s saying the line.
@@BbGun-lw5vi
Exactly. "Said" is a ghost word. It fades into the air.
I use it when I'm not using an action to designate the speaker. Preferably an action that builds emotional reactions or character.
@@JustClaude13 You're operating under the assumption that something rote, repetitive and monotonous is "invisible." And the evidence in support of this is reinforced anecdotal bias. If you want the word you're using to be invisible so badly - don't use it. 🤷♂
Find an action or notable attribute to describe instead, and don't use _any_ dialogue tags. Period. Whole books have been written without use of the letter "E." I'm sure it can't be as hard as all that.
@@futurestoryteller Said” is not _literally_ invisible, but it’s a lot less eye catching than the other alternatives because it’s so neutral.
And yes, you can write a book without using dialogue tags other than action attributes, but that can get unnatural if you’re not super skilled. There’s also a certain rhythm that can benefit from adding said, even if it’s not necessary.
@@BbGun-lw5vi I think that in normal conversations people say things, and so in a conversation with no rational emotional flourish to it - which is perhaps, most conversations, even in a novel - "said" would be appropriate. I don't think it's appropriate to put such a mundane word on a pedestal, especially not for its "non-descriptness." While I can certainly see the value of subtlty, I think the focus when cultivating art should be on proper means of _expression._ While it would be fair to urge discretion, I don't think the discipline is taught by giving artists half-assed shortcuts to "minimalism."
Especially since it's so clearly a matter of taste, and opinion. "Said is dead" being a phrase so many writers these days still seem to lament getting from instructors and manuals.
Okay, so it takes skill to write a book without _any_ dialogue tags. Why go about it halfway though? If you're going to go in on dialogue tags being "invisible" why not go _all the way_ in?
I don't think anybody should keep track of how many times they've used said, *or* how many times they've "replaced" it with another word. Or how many times they've avoided tags at all. I think they should write in whatever way they believe best conveys the feeling they mean to get across.
Frankly, anyone who would put down a book because there are too many substitute tags in place of the word "said" is pretentious, in the sense that they are clearly being very childish about a superficiality they've been convinced by peer pressure signifies adulthood. It's immaturity as maturity. Which is the worst kind.
Many people claim the same level of "distractedness" by books written to break the fourth wall, in omniscient POV, or in the present tense. Those people all need to get over themselves.
For number two I would have used something like. “Oh come on, you’re going to nail it. No one has studied as much as you Kim.”
I feel that line was supposed to be supportive and encouraging. Rather than just a statement of facts, but I could be wrong.
Nah I agree for sure
What you wrote is excellent.
I took what they wrote to convey that Kim's friend is a bit annoyed at her anxiety.
Ive read too many comics to be good at dialogue. It comes out either too dramatic or too boring.
pretty sure that hasn't anything to do with reading comics, but with you
I often find little to no difference between comic and novel dialogue. if dialogue cones out bad, ia that author
I strongly disagree with the stance on dialogue tags. When your dialogue is well-crafted, "said" is often sufficient. Overusing alternatives can quickly become annoying. Many writing coaches and books also recommend sticking to "said." Don't be afraid to use it-the emotion should be conveyed through the words and actions of the characters, not with overly creative dialogue tags.
I agree. Said becomes invisible, like punctuation. While alternatives like "shouted", "hissed", "groaned" etc draw attention to themselves.
@@ivee001 i have read a few of the Assassin's Creed novels, such as Assassin's Creed Forsaken, which sometimes makes use of alternative dialogue tags, which didn't bother me. It does at least help clarify how exactly something is said
I agree, anytime an author uses any other tags, it sticks out.
Said is often sufficient but absolutely not always the most appropriate way to tag dialogue.
There are breakdowns of famous author’s dialogue tag uses. They most certainly do not only use “said”.
Tags need to be appropriate.
I disagree
A nice tip I received is this is fiction. Readers are reading your story to get out of the mundane world, the don’t want conversations they hear every day. You can spice it up with a remark, a question to a question, all those crazy fake conversations that you’ve definitely thought of in your own life.
One counterpoint I've heard about the section about repetitive dialogue tag was the reverse: keeping them as "he said, she said," is repetitive but makes them invisible to the reader. Adding variations supposedly takes the reader out of the story because their attention shifts from what the characters are saying to the type of tag being used. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but I either heard this from another book TH-camr or a writing workshop
The only thing that would be invisible is something that's not there.
This is the right advice. Given by almost all professional editors.
The other point is, if you constantly have to use other tags to indicate action or emotion, your dialogue is failing to provide that action or emotion.
@@2o4tom Nah.
"The only thing that would be invisible is something that's not there," they gesticulated with a wry smirk and a glimmer of edge in their eyes, each word more conceited than the last. "Nah," they malded, clutching desperately onto their overuse of corny dialogue tags instead of articulating an actual critique of the comments they disagree with...
I'm just playing xD. For serious, it's important to be tasteful and purposeful with your use of dialogue tags. If you use none, your writing style will feel dreadfully samey and dry, and if you overdo it it really does become distracting. There are only so many words you can use instead of said that make any sense, and once you exhaust them in a conversation or use them too many times throughout a work readers will genuinely notice them every damn time and start keeping count in their head of how many times you use weird words instead of said.
I'm sorry, but this is terrible advice.
DON'T google synonyms for 'said' - that's a really good way to look like an amateur. Don't use 'I remark' in place of 'I say': that doesn't fix the issue, it only draws more attention to it. That's far more clunky than two 'say's in a row. The advice to use action tags to break things up was good, and that, coupled with no tags at all, is far better advice than using synonyms. In fact, you shouldn't use anything other than 'said' more than a few times in your entire novel. 'He whispered', 'he hissed', 'he remarked', 'he seethed', 'he fumed' - these are all hallmarks of amateur writing.
Instead, stick with 'he said' because it's mostly invisible, and when it becomes visible, either drop it entirely or use action tags. In your first example, *both* tags could be switched to action tags rather than resorting to 'he remarks', which is more clunky than the original example. It's not easy to get the rhythm, but please don't recommend people use synonyms for 'said' because that's objectively worse.
e: for background, I’ve only got one novel under my belt, but I’ve got 30 years of user experience design and psychology. This is more a UX issue.
e2: For example, here's an excerpt from the novel I'm currently working on (first draft, so not perfect):
Cora held up a finger towards Evie and lifted the phone to her ear. ‘Hey mom.’
Her mother paused, her voice laced with forced composure. ‘Cora?’
Something wasn’t right. ‘Are you okay? Has something happened?’
‘There’s been a death in the family. Your grandmother… she passed away a few days ago.’
‘Oh. I’m sorry.’ The words sounded trite, like what you’d say to a stranger, but she couldn’t find better ones. Cora thought she should feel something, but she just didn’t. She hadn’t known the woman. Her grandmother was nothing but a distant name on childhood birthday cards.
Her mother didn’t seem to register her words. ‘There are things we need to handle. She left you the house in Littlelight Bay. I’ve already listed it.’
Cora frowned, glancing around the 500 square feet she and Evie were paying $7,000 a month for. A house? ‘Wait. What?’
‘It’s more of a burden, really.’
The idea of owning a house, any house, was a novelty Cora hadn’t imagined. Her mind swirled with possibilities. ‘Couldn’t we-?’
‘Absolutely not.’ Her mother cut her off with uncharacteristic coldness. ‘The place is a wreck, Cora. A tiny shack of a thing. It would need a fortune thrown at it just to make it liveable. We’d profit on the land by tearing it down.'
Not a single 'said' or any synonyms, and with the bonus of weaving in exposition.
What happened next. 🤔
If you ever feel like your dialogue sucks just remember lines like …
“Somehow Palpatine has returned” &
“Long love Bran the Broken” or
“I don’t like sand”
Don't forget about "They'll never what you sacrificed for them." Monica Rambeau from Wandavision.
I don't think "remember how much people hate these really simple lines" is as reassuring as you want it to be.
I don't mind the sand one too much, somehow. It's funny. 😂
@@jøy_what_riley_loves_the_mostthe problem was the fact Poe literally described the entire plot of Palps returning
"Bran the Broken" will forever make me laugh it's so disrespectful
Just the video I needed. Thanks. Lots of great advice.
The only thing I would add is that when writing before and after the dialogue, I wouldn’t write ANYTHING that the reader can see or assume from the dialogue itself. To do so would be redundant, or over telling, and taking away from the readers’ personal experience of interpreting the dialogue for themselves.
I’m currently writing an adventure romance story using only dialogue, as in only what’s being said. It’s similar to eavesdropping on someone’s telephone conversation.
Doing this project is making me realize just how much readers pick up on dialogue alone. It’s going to help me to improve my novel writing.
❤
My advice about the said: (as also inspired by Brandon Sanderson's own words): Use it. It gets invisible, unlike what happens when you use too many synonyms all the time. My personal tactic is to just use no tag of 'said' etc. when it is not needed. Just the quotation marks and maybe an action. Just wanted to point that out
I thought the same. I used to think the right way was to avoid or replace, but other best-selling authors and agents say exactly what Sanderson says. I've studied just this aspect and he's right, you don't even notice it unless there's a lot of "replied," "scoffed," "remarked," etc. 🤷🏽♀️
Yeah, dialog with a repetitive rhythm is never good, and all of the talk here about workshopping bad rhythm and pacing is super on-point I think. However, agents, editors and professors all warn strongly against using tags other than “said”, or occasionally “shouted”, “whispered”, but even then you can often convey that in the words themselves. Use stronger verbs and stick to “said”, that’s what Sanderson and King have to say on the subject.
This expression is tactical, though we must leave some tags on the items in the store. Otherwise, people will not know the price.
Abbie!! Kate!! I just want to let y’all know that your videos have been ridiculously helpful to me. I’ve now finished chapter one of my WIP and it has a fantastic hook with compelling internal conflict. Thanks so much because it wouldn’t have been possible without you :)
The most memorable and skillful display of body language Ive ever seen in film was Christof Waltz in Inglorious Bastards - in the opening of the film when he's speaking with the farmer. He drills down with that fake polite stare and, though it's almost imperceptible how it changes, his face becomes so devastatingly sharp and serious as he states that the Jewish family is hiding underneath the floor - it's one of the greatest examples of body language telling the story instead of dialogue, and even thinking about it years later still gives me the chills. Amazing acting.
This is SO HELPFUL! Thank you! My current project involves trying to manage 4-way conversations. The tags are necessary, but "said" is not coming out as invisible as I hoped.
Idk in my experience "said" is pretty invisible. It's used so much and it's just a mainstay that it blends in. I do think mixing it up is important
Hi Abbie! I'm trying to run a small writing club with my friends, and will be using many of your videos as resources! Thank you for your writing advice!♥
I love Kate's wholesome smile so much, she reminds me of my cousin.
Something I really appreciate about Suzanne Collin's writing in the hunger games was she really didn't have many descriptions of of facial expressions or getlstures during her character's dialogue. It allowed me to focus on the words and form an idea of who the character was through what they were saying much more.
I love that style!
You're so right! It's amazing how vivid the Hunger Games characters all are.
When I'm writing a scene, I'll sometimes act out what I think my characters facial expressions would be in that moment based on who they are as a character. It's really fun! Afterwards, I try to sum up those tiny differences in my face into a few words, so it feels fast paced but genuine. I think it's fun to act out the same thing for characters in books that have already been written too!
Some good advice! It's especially interesting that some very famous authors suggest to only use "said" and no other tags. I never liked that suggestion, but some writers live by it.
Kate and Abbie, thank you very much for sharing 3 Simple ways on how to fix boring dialogue. I'm sure everyone here finds it very helpful!
Your new subscriber here!!! Currently re-writting my story I wrote in 2021 learning so many new new things from you , you're so helpful!!!!! Thank you so much
Solid video! While all the information presented was good, the biggest thing I learned from you today if the character has to say how they feel, say their emotion(s), then I need to rewrite it! I've been struggling with that in my own story, so thanks for helping me pinpoint the issue. You're both awesome!😃
My editor once told me "Said is not dead!" I don't think "said" gets noticeably repetitive until it's VERY repetitive because the word kind of becomes invisible to the reader, usually. What would be worse is using too many different crazy dialogue tags. (I know this is an ongoing debate within the writing community.)
Nothing has ever "become invisible" for me.
I’ve talked to many professional editors and they all agree that “said” should not be replaced with other words except sporadically.
And sometimes you don’t need it all if you know who’s speaking. And action tags can help vary things.
@@BbGun-lw5vi Right, exactly! I try to use action tags - or no tags at all - whenever I can.
@@futurestorytellernothing ever? You’re conscious of every comma, every period, every instance of “the” and “and” while you’re reading? Sounds like hell
@@xx-ow7nd "I see so many stop signs, how was I supposed to register the one in front of that school!"
Great advice. I've written my first draft and now editing, polishing. Videos like this are so helpful!
I was already having some thoughts of writing, and after I saw your channel, I am really just wanting to do it more! You're helping me SO MUCH! I have been wanting to make a history about grief, and I want to become a great writer just like you!
I was just working on fixing my dialogue today!!!! Thanks!
Variation, moderation, and awareness is key to creative writing. Wonderful and insightful video. While I agree with many of the points made, I somewhat disagree, specifically with the advice of paying attention to little details such as a character's expressions to convey their emotions. That can easily be overdone, distracting from the dialogue itself. It can also be a sign that the dialogue is weak and not doing its job of conveying personality. Even if that personality is being introverted or avoidant, it should still be present in what is being said versus what isn't being said.
I've seen many writers-including myself, we're all guilty here-hyperfixate and overdo those little expressions and movements to a point where every other line is "he looked up at her" , "she frowned", "she sighed" or "he tilted his head slightly to the right". When overused, it feels like the narration is trying to fill space at that point. It can really slow down the pacing and take away from the bigger picture. It can be very tedious and distracting to read, especially if the writer is relying on the same common expressions and movements repetitively. Speaking as both a writer and an artist, visual storytelling and written storytelling are two completely different artforms. While one can serve as inspiration for the other, they shouldn't be approached in the same way.
For me, the best written dialogue is when you don't need dialogue tags for clarity. You don't need to micromanage your characters using subtle expressions and movements to convey what they are feeling. The reader will know who is speaking, because the dialogue is strong, unique on an individual level, and the character's personality so present in the dialogue itself. You don't always need the clarity. You don't need to tell the reader when the character is "smiling" or "sad" or "yelling", because it will be implied by your choice of words.
Don't hyperfixate on your characters, but on their experiences. The reader will know how your character is feeling, because they'll be sharing in the experience. For example, instead of telling us the character is smiling as they look out the window, describe what they are seeing beyond the window. Describe what is causing them to have this warm, happy feeling. Whether it's something physical or a fond memory. This will help the reader see things through the character's perspective and get inside their head, as opposed to just seeing what's on the character's face.
When I see characters being constantly micromanaged, specifically when it comes to dialogue, I encourage writers to ask themselves what is more important: What a character is saying or how they are saying it? If the dialogue is strong enough, you don't need to tell us how they are saying it, because the reader will know. If you are allowing them to share in the experience, the reader will understand what they are going through. Those expressions and tiny movements can be implied based on those experiences. Trust in your readers to understand the subtext of a conversation without spelling it out for them.
Thanks Abbie and Kate for more information, I will comb through and fix 😊
Thank you for answering the questions I couldn’t think of or didn’t know who to ask. I really appreciate this channel because it either alleviates my doubts or helps me improve. Easiest “subscribe” moment ever. ❤
👍 Wonderful inside on dialogue. But nowadays, I'm wondering about the pacing of a big fantasy story. For me, how to pace my story with multiple pov and especially when a few are on the same environment.
I think the video where Abbie goes over dynamics and compares little women would help you here
@@colbyreader Let me check that out. Thanks for the recommendation!
Thanks for the tips! Deep in the editing process for my new sci fi book. Doing the fine tuning is a ton of fun!
23:00 I find that Pirateaba is very good at this. When I'm reading The Wandering Inn there are a lot of different perspectives and some characters POVs are written in first person while others are written in third person. The third person narration is really good. Its that type of narrator that is aware of the character's emotions and what they are thinking at all times, even assuming the character's personalities and qualities in the narration. It makes you really immersed in that character's mentality and what they are going through, while still allowing that bit of otherness that comes with third person narration. I love it.
I remember in 7th grade English, my teacher made the law "SAID IS DEAD".
Meaning, if you did a writing assignment (especially an essay) and used the word "said", you could get points deducted.
I love this topic! Can we get a part two? I think those spaces in between are the most powerful, but a struggle to construct
Also, some of my favorite characters ever are ones who don’t actually say much, but you get such a sense of their personality from their actions
I gotta admit. I’m invested in the stories I choose to read. So much so I often overlook bad dialogue if I’m that genuinely invested. And I think many readers can do that too if other aspects of the story are strong.
Omg, I've been doing this without thinking! I'm glad I'm doing it right! I shall still examine my dialogue going forward to make sure it's all still engaging
You two look so great as sisters ❤ always great to see happy siblings love your channel I listen to it a lot!!!!!!!
Basically what they said but didn’t at the same time: “actions speak louder than words”
Remember this guys!❤️
We need to bring this higher. It's so true!!
I give actions priority over general tags.
Questions: asks, answers, informs, sugguests, thinks to themself.
Dynamics: exclaims, yells, shouts, whispers, mumbles.
Modifiers: with compassion/malice, with confidence/shyness, with conviction/guilt, with passion/apathy, demands/offers, commands(to show authority) /underminds, speaks(when addressing crowds or royalty)
Thank you. I’ve been trying to figure out dialogue for my characters for a while now, and this helps me immensely.❤
0:41 For people with Epilepsy.
Thank you 😅
The summary bullet point page is really helpful, Abbie. I listen at work and collate them together afterwards. It’s making my series more attainable.
(Oops, a weasel word 😂)
One thing for tags, it depends your style but I usually follow Shirley Jackson's advice which is you usually use said and then you use words like screamed or yelled or something for effect
my favourite sisters :) This analysis of the dialogue is really amazing. I really see the difference in these exaples and for me it's a game changer :) Thanks again my favourite sisters for sharing this with us.
27:04 This is the best advice right here.
Don't worry about the 1st draft. Let it be a free flow of creativity.
2nd draft I go from pencil to digital.
Abbie, this is the first time I've ever disagreed with you. I often use said. Characters dont need to exclaim everything! Said becomes invisible after a while and the dialogue flows better without weird tags
I completely disagree with you. I agree said should be used but if all you use is said honestly your writing has to suck. I’m not assuming you only use said. But there is not such thing as weird tags. Other than “growl” or “hiss”
Omg I needed this! Thank you!
This was very helpful. Thank you so much! I think I'm great with dialogue, but not so great with narrative descriptions. I come from a theatre background, writing my debut novel. I picture the scenes being acted out in my mind, but I tend to forget I have to describe what's happening, lol. My first draft reads almost like a script in some places, as my CP often correctly points out.
We can also use hinting phrases not only is it effective, but also fun, because you know what it means and others don't, so they have a chance to interpret it in their own ways, filtered with their emotions.
Always appreciate your insight!
Extremely helpful information! Thank you for sharing.
Another good tip to enhance the emotions one is watching movies without the sound on and trying to decipher what the characters are feeling based solely on actions and visuals so you can apply it to the prose.
As someone who struggles when to write the conversation or just describe the situation, this video helps a lot😭💙
I think that every story has its own pacing and characteristic there's no rules in writing as long the contest is exciting🤗
This was one of the better episodes I think. I'm glad at the end you all also mentioned not to stress about perfect dialogue in the first draft, but making sure you have these tools for revision!
One the topic of repetitive tags, I've also heard that "said" is usually a good "go-to", and that you can also overuse other words if they distract from the dialogue as well. However, I think one author who overused "said" was Frank Herbert in Dune, and the other Dune books.
Many times in the dialogue scene I was taken out by repetitive: "Paul said" "Jessica said" "Alia said", so there is an example that I think the dialogue could've been improved from this. Although in all fairness, I like Dune for the concepts/ideas and not at all for the prose, so the shoe fits lol
Personally I would rather have a back and forth that feels authentic than an exchange that's concise but "feels written." Also not to argue with the advice itself, per se, but I find it funny how molodramatic that one scene became when you took the emotional emphasis out of the dialogue and moved it into description.
Hmm, yeah I think back and forth between two characters is fine if it's used for a comedic element. Just think of the banter in a Buddy Cop movie. Seeing the two characters bounce comments back and forth is part of what makes the movie fun.
OMG thanks so much for this video I was so struggling with my dialogue.
I like to write my dialogue this way - especially for critical dialogues. Assuming that you know your characters, the relationships between the characters, the context of the conversation, and the purpose of the conversation relative to the character arcs and the plot, then the best way to write dialogue is to role play the scene (ideally with someone else) and record what you say, how you say it, and what you do. Do this several times. Now look at the recordings and translate the best of that into words and use that as your template for the written dialogue. I find this exercise very enlightening.
what a great video!!!!! I was just struggling with the dialogue of a chapter. Now I know how to tackle it! Thank guys! you are amazing!
It helps to have a writing partner or support person. If there's a particular conversation you're worried about, you each can take the role of a character and recite the convo and record it. Not a video but strictly sound. When you play it back, you can hear what works and what doesn't.
These ladies are teaching me better grammar and writing than my English teachers in high school.
How do I write pauses in a dialogue tho?? Sometimes I want my character to pause between words, who is not in pov. Using too many "..." gets awkward after a while
This is actually a very good question. Using ellipses can definitely be overpowering. I suggest write it with ellipses and read it back to yourself a load of times. You’ll be able to find the ones you really need vs the ones that will annoy a reader.
You could also have actions in between dialogue, that's what I do in most cases! You could also simply say "she paused" or a variation of that.
@@elementeight8 Thank you so much for the advice!!
@@jemmaemma9550 That's a great advice, thank you
Thank you, that was v helpful. Pls could you do a podcast on pros and cons of writing in 1st person v 3rd person. Loving this channel btw.
Great example:fix sets. Thanks!
Hello! 🤗 Hope everyone has a good day! Great vid Abbie! ❤️✨
A wonderful series, Dragon Gate, kept doing this. She's a self published author (Lyndsay Buroker) so maybe why she didn't edit it out. I was so bumped out of one section when she kept using "said"
I only noticed it in one paragraph! But it definitely made me notice it.
Sometimes if its just two people doing a back and forth and you want them to talk quickly or have the intensity of the scene to be higher. you can drop the said and the character actions for a few lines, then punctuate the pauses with character descriptions and inner thoughts, i always found theat quite powerful. Its easy to follow if you make every new dialogue switch to the other person as well.
Hi, Kate and Abbie!!! Thank you for your great videos everytime!
I have a doubt, cause i usually use the tag "..." to intensify a reaction or to express doubt on my character. Like blank or silent spaces, but i usually use them very offen and i'm aware of it. There is something more that i can use or another technique i should apply to avoid the repetition?
Thank you!! Hugs!
Something that I always do is act the scene out or read it aloud like I’m narrating an audio book. That helps to see if it sounds natural for the characters or if it’s repetitive
Does anyone have any tips on what to do when you have five characters in a conversation? I feel like it gets annoying having to say who says each line. I know I could add an action instead of dialogue tag but I would love to hear people’s ideas on this!
Although it's not really correct or widely used from what I've seen, my approach is to put the speaker's name followed by what they're saying in like a script format eg.
Alex: Good morning, Mary!
Mary: FailedToAllocateCorrespondingResponse
Personally for me, I struggle to know who's saying what line without names everywhere so I just use the script method to make things easier for myself. Do what suits you!
@@ermlerml7925 Thanks, I’ll keep it in mind! It may work for specific scenes.
Or maybe if their speaking style is distinct enough you don't need to put names, because the reader will know who it is based on the dialogue
Thanks
I watched several videos not that long ago that said to use only said and asked (or no dialogue tag at all) and to avoid tags like exclaimed, yelled, etc... Sometimes writing advice is so confusing and frustrating.
The use of says. This was something I was just helping my 10 year old with with his summer prep work. It challenged them to find more descriptive words to write dialogue. And not use says or said for everything.
Be careful giving this advice. According to professional editors, replacing “said” with a bunch of descriptive terms is an amateur mistake. That’s because “said” is almost invisible to the reader, so it makes dialogue sound more natural. Pick up any professional book and you’ll see that “said” makes up about 80% dialogue tags.
But sometimes you don’t need an action tag at all if it’s clear who’s speaking. And it’s good to throw in action tags into the dialogue instead of said to keep the dialogue from sounding like talking heads.
Thank you. I am not giving advice but an experience. I have read through many professional books. I was referencing a simple getting ready for 5th grade exercise from my son's school teacher. Kids often write exclusively using said or says as well as using I to start their sentences. It's an elementary school teachers activity to help children find other ways to write a sentence beyond what they are comfortable with. Not a never use said or says. Children are definitely rookies in the world of writing.
@@bryonygrealish6663 I guess the reason I wanted to mention it is that a lot of this writing advice in school does more harm than good. I spent so many years, along with other people I knew, replacing “said” with “interesting words.” A lot of writing tips like this one take away the natural way of writing.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to teach kids to vary up sentence structure, but it should be done carefully. The first lesson in writing should be clarity in communication.
His activity was only a short rewrite of five sentences. It's not a big focus in the curriculum. Not a huge deal. I did not instruct people on what to do or tell them this is the only way to write or give anyone advice. I shared a small experience to connect with something discussed in this video. I understand that you wanted to share some knowledge on this subject. When a comment starts with a warning to be careful, it no longer becomes a discussion but advice on what not to do. Thank you for your time. I will not be responding further.
@@bryonygrealish6663 Whoa! You got offended. Didn’t mean to do that. It’s true that I was giving advice. I was just trying to help your son from falling into one of the pitfalls that I, and many others, fell into. But I’m ok with this whole exchange ending here.
For the actions in dialogue, my best advice would be to act out what your character is doing and try to put it into words.
Is you character remembering something? Act it out and pay attention to your gestures, like looking up, or putting your finger over your mouth.
I've found that acting what I'm writing is very useful because I can really know how to describe things and when to add action in the middle of a dialogue... or not add anything at all.
The "I said" "she said" "he said" is unbelievable in some VERY popular books. Wings of fire, warrior cats, True Grit, Inheritence series, etc. Its so noticible that its painful even though the story is THAT emmersive. Its very hard to sit through, but I want to because of the story.
@@XxShade_FrostxX Most published novels use “said” about 80% of the time, along with action attributes. The reason is that “said” is not as eye catching as other descriptive dialogue tags. Most readers stop paying attention to the word “said” as they read along, which makes the dialogue flow better.
But it’s not good to use it with every dialogue line. You want to sprinkle in some action attributes or eliminate a tag altogether if it’s not needed.
I love you both, great advice
Thank you for all the amazing videos. Your the best! But I wanted to ask you how do you manage organizing your scenes whether they overlap or not…?
"Said" is the best option for dialogue tags most of the time. Using others too much can actually pull the reader out more than "said". It's better to show the reader how your character is reacting than to rely on dialogue tags to convey their emotions. Using "said" too much can also pull a reader out, sometimes no dialogue tags are the answer. Just thought this could use some clarification since it's a common writing mistake and the advice gets passed on so much. Most professional publishers and editors will tell you this.
You guys should do a video on those phrases that are all ways in media, but no one would ever say in real life
While I prefer the varied dialogue tags, I have also heard that only 'said' should only be used. My enjoyment from playing with words drives my preference.
Likely neither is wrong, but each appropriate contextually.
In an active scene where the dialogue spars verbally, repeated 'said' may be better as tags simply make the speaker clear.
Meanwhile, for an immersive mood piece, the varied dialogue tags feels more textured.
If one only writes one type of story, then saying there is only one best way makes sense. Instead recognizing strengths and weaknesses of different methods allows picking the best tool based upon the task.
Thank you so much this is so helpful 😍😍
A lot of advice out there saying to basically use said almost exclusively so I like your advice. I understand if you are putting in thesures type tags but there are times said just does not work or convey the emotion of the moment.
YESS I HAVE AWAITED THIS MOMENT FOR 12 LONG YEARSS
This is why scripts are so much more fun to write. No tags, no synonyms for said. Just character and dialogue.
I just finished the final draft of my first book, and sent it off the beta readers. When I get it back, I'll be sure to implement these tips!
So helpful, thank you both!
AAAAAA THANK YOU FOR UPLOADING I’VE BEEN BINGE WATCHING ALL YOUR VIDEOS AHHHH
i believe that repetetive tags within speech can be good "she SAID that we were supposed to stand by! she SAID that we were to only be there if we were needed! she SAID that we were to only aprehened! she SAID to remain calm! so why did you ignore her!" repetiveness can also increase the impact, with someone tells someone something multiple times in dialogue, it emphasises that point, if a character repeats that another has said something multiple times, it emphasises it, repetiveness CAN be good, depending on the writer, the same goes for back and forth, though it also depends on quality of the back and forths
Great tips 👍
ABBIIIEEEEEE I JUST FINISHED YOUR BOOK IT MADE BE UGLY CRY AND I FINISHED IT IN A DAY, PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER 😭
My issue with dialogue tags is how often things like "X said" are placed after the dialogue, so you don't know who the speaker is until after you've read it. And if my internal voice didn't match because I initially thought a different character was speaking, then I find that to be more distracting than repetitive action words. In my own personal writing I prefer to do dialogue like it's done in scripts, by having the name of the speaker followed by a colon and then their dialogue, avoiding those action word tags altogether. This is inherently repetitive since you will see the speaker names over and over, but I find it speeds up my own pace when reading since the names become nearly invisible just like many say happens with "said".