How To Take Control Of Your Emotions
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- In this episode, we hear from a woman uncomfortable with her boyfriend following promiscuous Instagram accounts, a broken father overcome with anger toward his daughter’s abuser, and a woman who hasn’t told her parents about her boyfriend of four years who is over 20 years older.
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The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
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Dating only 6 months, cut him loose. He's shown his true colors by not respecting the boundary you asked for, and he agreed to uphold. Find someone who values you, but it isn't this guy.
👏👏👏👏
seriously. and her asking “is this a red flag or…” there aren’t a set of rules. if something he’s doing makes you uncomfortable, untrusting, and insecure, you don’t need to put up with it. walk away. i’m tired of people feeling like they’re stuck, especially if they aren’t financially or physically dependent on this person. just leave!!!
Thank you to the dad calling in. This comes from a 60 year old woman, who has been abused by family members as a young child, been raised [ignored] by a indifferent step father, groomed, groped + violated as a teenager, "date drug raped" on a ride home, multiple times cheated on by a husband, and finally raped again and held hostage in my own home for 36 hrs by a boyfriend who couldn't handle the break-up. The only reason I survived the last, was that he didn't have the guts to kill me - he wanted to. Listening to this man trembling with hatred, disgust and rage has done me more good in healing than years of therapy. Thank you, sir!
I’m so sorry ❤❤❤
The call from the father has to be one of the hardest yet on this show. My baby girl is 16, I can’t even imagine this level of hell in our family.
Ladies, there are words and there are actions. Always believe the actions!
Lol..... it goes both ways. I have yet to be lucky enough to find a woman who's actions resemble their words. Alot of people suck.
To the father with the daughter… you’re loved and supported by all of us fathers… stay strong for your family ❤️
I wish this show was around back when I was in these types of relationships. This is so validating. I won't settle again like I used to.
To the father struggling with rage....thank you. My father came across feeling sorry for my predator and how I've ruined his life.
Wow! Oh my! How you must hurt over that! I'm sorry that you have to deal with that...
@@karenjones8713 thank you for saying that. Yeah I definitely have never seen him the same ever again. He was also threatening to cut off my sibling relationships, because I was talking about his comments on social media. I wish Dr John was around back then! He might've made a difference between the father and brother betrayal.
Same here. I am sorry this happened to you also
To the father with rage it IS NOT YOUR FAULT !! wish I can give you a big hug !
To the father dealing with rage, I cried. I shed a couple of tears because I have daughters…. I can’t IMAGINE! I am praying for him. I wish I could give him a hug. Just know all of the good dads out here are here for you brother!
Wow! I needed to hear the first advise. Growing up with separated parents, I feel like I’m always running to avoid that situation and makes me also obsessed with relationships to fulfill a void.
First caller… it’s a 🚩 red flag. Your feelings & values are worth being respected. He knows it goes against what you both agreed to and that it hurts you.
He is disrespecting you…. Knowingly hurting you. Your feelings, values, agreements between the 2 of you … do NOT matter as much as him connecting with other women - because that’s what he is trying to do. Like a photo to get the attention of another woman.
Keep your boundaries and let him go. You deserve more.
My heart is absolutely breaking for this poor father.
"Liking" a photo is an interaction with another person; they get the notification that her boyfriend likes their half-naked photos. I would never stay with a man if I knew he was approaching girls on the beach and telling them he liked how they look and I wouldn't accept it in a digital format, either.
Wow thats a great way to think about it!
Great analogy! I will remember your thoughts on this. Thank you!
Great analogy.
Xo Bc vvkyxciusepp it da a of a or
And I'm used to people giving me a hard time for spying on my ex-husband so I could know for sure if he was having an affair and decide what to do. It's all about other people's freedom and needs instead of my needs, rights and sexual health. The validation here has been refreshing.
Dad struggling with rage … I struggle too because I let my little boy go to a slumber party and I thought he was safe. The hate will kill you. I still struggle with shame and I should have done… I have come to the place where I don’t hate them every day. I still have long to go, but even that has helped. It WILL affect ALL areas of your life if not dealt with. I 🙏🏼 pray for you and your family to grieve and heal. ❤️
Brother, first caller, keep your work in martial arts up. TKDo helped me work through the rage that was in me after my divorce when my ex cheated on me for 3 years. I made myself a promise, "I will get through this without hurting myself or others." I kept that promise, I got to the other side stronger, calmer, joyful, and ready to take on my future. That was 2006, and the life I lead now is a testament to KEEP ON KEEPIN ON! Praying for you, there is joy waiting, brother.
Listening in the UK whilst walking dogs 😊
I really found Dr. Delony's words around 12:40 really powerful and it needs to be played on blast everywhere - i.e. when a person cheats, it's tempting for the person who was cheated on to think they were somehow "inadequate" and they need to be the best person they can be in order to avoid situations like that from happening. Yet there are many situations we know in real life of people who were cheated on who seem to have it all - Beyonce, Shakira, Emily Ratajowski, Will Smith, etc. I wasn't cheated on but my ex left me out of the blue and daily I've tried to fight this view I need to be superhuman to be worthy of her love. No, I should be content being just me and find someone who wants and is willing to put in the work to make a relationship work out.
I use an analogy to help me redirect my thoughts. Maybe the father mentioned above could use it along with the other things he's learning about handling his anger. He can start with a smaller matter if this one he's dealing with feels too huge. I imagine I'm walking down the aisle of a grocery store, and I see a jar of peanut butter on the shelf. i don't want it, so I walk right past it. I keep going until I find something I do want. I hope this dad can establish peace in his heart.
I believe that last caller, she aint ashamed of having an older man. I am married to a woman who has an emotional/opinionated mother. She has a unhealthy hold of my wife. When you see how another’s parent gets triggered from the very start of something, and not just the fall out most people get, its mind boggling how a child comes out of that and becomes successful in anything.
I think with the age gap relationship. She should definitely talk to her parents and see, they might judge her or welcome them. She is old enough to make her own choices. I have a friend who was also in the same situation and let me tell you, her the whole family accepted the guy and it’s so sweet and happy to witness their relationship with her man. Her man is 30 years older than her.
31 marrying to a 51 years old man is not unheard of. Yes, it’s a big gap but not that bad. She is a full grown adult. Wishing you all the best and I hope your parents accept him. Good luck!
Dr John you just couldn’t stop with the jokes huh 😜
I had a question regarding the first call. What's the difference between establishing a boundary/communicating a value to a significant other and trying to control your significant other? For example, if a man tells his significant other who's a woman that they don't like when they hang out with other guy friends, is that establishing a boundary or trying to control and isolate them?
Good question. I don't know
Good question.
Joseph - a boundary is a "line in the sand" where you communicate this is a hard limit. So far and no further - and you have a "or what" consequence that is attached and must be communicated. It only works if you're ready to call in your bluff so to say - if your "or what" is - you do this, then we're done - then the relationship is over and done with, once the partner steps over the line [or whatever your or what consequence is for whatever boundary].
Trying to control or isolate someone is exactly that - you bully, harass, have temper tantrums, silent treatments, mental, emotional, verbal or physical abuse of some sort or the other, etc. You're influencing or dictating the behavior and relationships of your partner, for them to cave in to your demands [reasonable or otherwise], but you're not having a set line where you're ready to walk away if the partner doesn't accommodate your wishes or desires.
Thank you for being a grate and loyal person!!! We have to know that we have amazing doctor!!!!
Good morning and have a wonderful Friday!
Lord help us. 16:00
Thank you Dr. John for what you do.
Good morning everyone!☀️☀️☀️☀️
Renee you will be okay❤
I hope this show stops using Better Help as a sponsor. For a company who has integrity high on its value list, I would think Ramsey Solutions would vet their sponsors more.
I thought the same thing!! I told my brother about BetterHelp because he refused to go to in person therapy. They took over a week to get back with him they promised 72 hours… he requested a refund and they told him it would take 3 to 6 weeks! He paid like $350. He was pissed and now refuses to go to therapy again. It took me over a year to have him agree to Better Help! I hate this company! His feeling toward therapy is worse now!
You are eluding they are a less than good sponsor. Can you elaborate with facts? It would be helpful to all who might be thinking of engaging with this sponsor. Especially if it's an issue with the entire company. But if it's just an individual, you should give that feedback to the company, so they can do something about that individual.
Men victimizing his daughter!! They need to give these dudes consequences! I hope his daughter is able to get through this as well as the dad🙏🏻❤️
Move on Amanda.😊❤ You’re worth more.
King David grandfather (Boaz)was much older than Ruth.
men lie to their girlfriends and wives because they know they don't like them looking at other women but they're going to regardless and they want to control their own life and do what they want which is understandable. no one wants another person telling them what to do. i just don't understand why men feel such a high need to look at half naked or naked women all the time. it's like an addiction.
Am I the only one who thought the 31 year old was dating a 10 year old for a second?
You're 27 'Amanda' and you think you're running out of time to meet someone. There'll always be another one. Always. In my 40s I joked about shouting 'next'! I know someone who, at 33, married someone who hit her and intended to move her away from her friends and family. Everybody saw it but she would not listen. She was desperate. Her war ladies told her on her bachelorette that they'd be there when she needed them. They are and it's happening right now a year down the road! Silly girl. DO NOT SETTLE!
How do I deal with jealousy..?
Please don't tell other people that your daughter was molested. Please protect her privacy. If you NEED to tell someone, tell a clergyperson or a therapist. Sorry, Dr. John. I disagree with you on that point.
31 year old is worried about her parents? Sorry, this is very strange.
the 3rd caller dating the old dude is really idiotic. Waste of life to date someone your parents age
Nice timing, mate. Lol
Renee, girl... You're ashamed of him and that's a BIG age gap. Think about your future. He could be your dad. 😬 It doesn't even sound like you like him all that much. I think you need to date more before committing to more.
They love each other after 6 months😆
Good for him AND for her too... this shows his capacity for beauty and love.. Don't get jealous no attachment.. Our problem is nowadays we get too attached to each other no space. Waw .. The more you give him freedom the more he will be in to you..
She’s 27, 30 is just around the corner; she knows she is approaching the wall. He may be settling as well.
This audience has no concept of such things.
Haha, this isn't Kevin Samuels :P
I think settling means you are not getting everything you want. Love and respect are foundational to relationship. This man does not love or respect her and she probably doesn't love/respect herself either (probably has nothing to do with age or walls).
"Approaching the wall" 😆 guys like you are so clueless.
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