Feel free to check out the LoveWho Patreon and support the channel www.patreon.com/lovewho I'm intending to be more active on there doing Q&As and video requests from Patrons ~ Nathan
@@ChiefKale INTP here: Just getting more set in my ways in reverse progress, which is why I am learning about MBTI because it's sort of motivating me (to learn more about MBTI and keep living on cat food)
Hi Nathan, I'm an ENFP woman and finally found my happiness with an intj man. I believe that the sex of the person matters. Enfp men have greater difficulty keeping in a marriage than ENFP women if there are children involved, as an example. I see this difference between men and women and the personality types quite often. Thanks! Antonia.
INTJ here. Never seriously dated anyone until 24, so I was pretty convinced I'd stay alone forever. I was fine with that, though, because I'd much rather be alone than with any of the people I had met up until that point. Then, all of a sudden, this amazing ENFP strikes up a conversation with me. Long story short, I proposed 8 months after first talking to her, and we've been very happily married for almost 7 years now. Best decision of my life.
This story is beautiful. I'm an INTJ too and I agree with every word you wrote. I also thought I would've been alone most of my life, because no one seemed to be the person I wanted at my side and I didn't want to be with someone random just to not be alone (also, I honestly liked being alone). And then an extrovert happened to me too and now we've been together for ten years, and it's the best relationship I could've asked for.
@@marinmarieee I understand how you feel, I thought the same when I was your age :) if I can give you an advice, just don't settle for anything less than what you want. Keep your standards high. It will take time but the reward will be worth it. I cheer for you and I wish you the best in life :)
INFJ here. Marriage, as a consequence of real deep love and connection, was my LONG TERM goal. Therefore I have never dated casually. NEVER. Every man I decided to date was judged by me with this goal in mind. And I heavily relied on my intuition. Most of the time I needed one, two dates to dismiss a candidate. I JUST KNEW. I saw them through in a moment. When I met my future husband it just clicked. Everting IMPORTANT was there in right places. The details were to be worked out later but the foundation was solid. I married my first love (not a crush, mind you) and we’re going strong for 23 years.
May I ask what's his MBTI? Im an INFJ too and I felt like this is me talking 😅 many guys thinks Im gloomy and boring cz I don't like the dating thing and reject them all, but it's just that I KNOW none of them is the right one, it feels lonely sooetimes seeing ppl in my age getting in relationships but i'll wait for my partener no matter what 😊
As an ENFP with an INFJ mother who advised that I'd "just know," I've "just known" about 5 times now 😬 on the plus side I finally have a clearer picture of what I'm looking for rather than just being like, "everyone is awesome!"
I think IXTPs are highly likely to be married, or forever single. There is no in between, because it depends on whether they've been adopted by an extrovert (or more likely an ambivert) or not.
My autonomy has always been my most cherished possession. The older I get (35) the more true that becomes. I wouldn't mind a co-pilot, but who really wants to do that anymore? -ISTP male.
I would also remark that as an INTJ, should I ever choose to get involved in a relationship seriously, I will be very loyal to my partner and try my best to make things work out for us. The added factor of being able to read the mood and be able to say the right words for the upset party also helps me navigate through all of my existing relationships. So yeah, on the slim chance that I ever get married, I wouldn't do so with an individual whom I don't think I would even bother to mend an argument with xD
To be fair, as an INTP, I had similar sentiments, and ended up in an abusive relationship. Abusive people seek out loyalists who will try very hard to make it work, because they know this person will stick around until they’re in too deep. So be aware of that. Nathan has another video where he discusses the need for having a list of behaviors you won’t tolerate. I wish I’d heard that sooner.
@@AK-jt7kh that's a great heads up actually. I am fortunate that I do have my preferences jotted down concretely. And one thing that I will not tolerate under any circumstances is a demanding partner. That's like a red flag with emergency drill sirens blaring for me. I cannot stand people who constantly need my attention and/or try to make it seem like they are doing it for my sake. I like my independence and the ability to not have debts from anyone.
I’m an INFP married to an INTP for 10 years. It surprised me that none of the other girls around paid him much mind because I knew I’d struck gold when I met him. We married quite young, but since we’re both humble and flexible and share similar goals, we knew we could grow together and make it work. He’s also the first person I ever dated.
I'm an INFP who will be 32 next month. I've never been in a relationship and have no plans to marry in the near future. I had so many wounds and traumas from my childhood experiences that I really wanted to heal by my own. Although the idea of having a child has always been a fantasy of mine, I have chosen not to bring anyone into my current path. I'm always seeking for many ways to improve myself and to find my own identity. As an INFP this is a lifelong journey. 🥺
@@urmyfavkindofnight I hope it's not too late for us. I'm not gonna lie though, having a child is one of my biggest dream but I don't want to be selfish and unfair. I don't want to use other person to fill my cup.
"INTP and ISTP are the more likely type to be single forever" Me, offended but withouth any known relationship in my entire life: Oi there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
Trust your intuition. Trust your boundaries (those things which are deal breakers). Trust that you can only control your actions/reactions, and be open to the possibility of hurt as this is the only way to secure relationship. It's okay to be in a relationship for a long time, waiting until the romanticism wears off and a foundation established, so you can be sure the commitment is still worth pursuing longterm. It also helps to outline all values and expectations prior to said commitment. It's okay to change your mind and go another way.
It makes me sad yet I couldn't tolerate anything else than being permasingle... It's what's comforting in the end, it's not the external forces making you incel/ette, it's just you, yourself looking out for your own best wellbeing lol
I'm an INTP. My husband of a decade is an ISFP. We got married when I was 21. If this relationship doesn't work out, I don't think I would ever get into another one, but I'm fully committed to seeing this one through to the end.
@@sharpiesarecool814 if you are not serious about dating them, don't. Making them emotionally vulnerable around you and then breaking up because you weren't even sure about the relationship in the first place, is just going to give them more issues than they might already have.
@@Sara-pj4sr I agree with you. I guess the reason I'm scared though wasn't clear. I have BPD so I'm generally anxious around the idea of relationships bc of my fear of abandonment. I am staying single specifically because I want to work on my symptoms and to one day be able to have healthy relations. I really do like him though. Even love him. But you are right. If I'm not ready to commit, it's best to keep my boundaries clear so I don't waste any of his time.
@@sharpiesarecool814 Ti Se Ni Fe Te Si Ne Fi are his functions then... Fi Ne Si Te Fe Ni Se Ti are yours... This means your worst function roughly speaking is Se... Which is one of his favorites and key to his happiness. While on the other hand Ne is his worst function, but key to your happiness. That's not good for a couple to have that kind of balance (or lack thereof) make your sure y'all get creative if you want to go ahead with a relationship with eachother. Look into the PolR function or Point of Least Resistance. Don't be afraid though, go on with courage and passion, yet focused, planning ahead, playing to your strengths, etc.
I’m an INTP and currently single. I believe maybe one day I’ll find love but it’s hard for me to have a true connection with someone and no way am I going to be in a relationship I know won’t work out. I guess in a way I have high expectations but not when it comes to looks.
Same - my dating career sucked. My high expectation was that I find a guy who is interested in having intellectual conversations with me and values my intelligence. Now I’m voluntarily celibate. 😂 I’d rather be married to my brain.
Also an INTP, I think the other part that is that once you figure out common issues people have that get in the way of a successful relationship it becomes easier to see them in a new relationship. I'm way less likely to want to move forward if I can see someone with a similar problem I've already experienced with an ex or a friend. I think in general it's good that I want to take a partner that seriously, but I worry that perhaps I should be more willing to give people a chance to grow. I'm fully aware I'm not perfect - so why should they be. All the while, I am one to romanticize the idea of finding a compatible person to share that part of my life with, so I suppose I'll keep on looking and keep getting more picky haha
INTP and have been single for 7 years now. Honestly another relationship is the last thing on my mind. The fewer people I have to deal with the better. People don't hold much of my interest as they used to.
We are both different INTPs cuz I'm an INTP that always wanted a relationship. We are similar though, cuz like most people don't get me, like people that don't have your interests.
ENFJ here, married to an INTP. Your statement about INTP being willing to be taken care of - spot on. We’re 22 years in and still going strong. He is especially glad that he has a wife willing to do most of the human interaction things, but he’s also glad I’m a decent cook. :)
Do you often find him being on the submissive end? what are your main hobbies together? also, is he interested much in gaming? sorry for asking a lot but I'm an INTP myself and I wonder a lot about how INTP marriages turn out, especially if they're married to an extrovert.
@@Falcon-gl8ll there’s a lot to unpack here. As to submissive, I’d say we’re pretty equal. How we get our way may be different, but we work together well. Hobbies - we both like electronics, woodworking, leather working, those kinds of things. We both have a background in gaming (D&D-like role playing games), but he still plays and I just make dice bags. :) Most of the other INTPs we know are married to introverts, so I can only go by our experience. There are times when I want him to get mad about something along with me instead of playing devil’s advocate and exploring all possibilities. When it comes to big decisions, such as buying a car, I set him to the task of researching what our best option is, then I handle the talking part. It’s a great system. :)
@@mcmickey8824 That's a very healthy relationship, very healthy indeed. I myself understand the part about trying to get someone to unleash same emotions on a topic that annoys you or something, I think it requires an Se to be on standby for the INTP in order for him to react the way you want him to do(although it's hard, since INTPs are hardly biased, even in situations where that bias is just for fun). although, I can tell that he is spending more effort on exploring the topic as he sees you are emotionally irritated about it, INTPs do show their affection and care by doing such things. as for the decision part, you did a well done in making use of his ability to pick things wisely, I myself do that when I'm exploring electronics or such, I do wide-range research about any topic before beginning to choose, my turbulent side helps me a lot in that, unfortunately though, I'm unable to make use of any of that as my family are ESFX and ISFX types, our communication and understanding levels are in the negatives. by the way, are the INTPs who are married to introverts you talked about doing well in their relationships? I thought something like that would be incredibly hard to maintain as INTPs usually depend on an EXXX to fulfill the social side they never had. thanks in advance.
@@Falcon-gl8ll of the two main INTPs I mentioned, one is married to an INFP, the other is married to a likely INTJ. In both cases, the INTP spouses have taken on a more extroverted role. INTP/INFP have been married for >10 years, INTP/INTJ >20 years. They seem happy to me. :)
INTP here. Haven't had many relationships, but my current one with my boyfriend (some E type) of 8 years is for the long haul. I think if something happened that made me single again, I would be very unlikely to enter another long-term relationship, and would stay single forever, which would be fine with me. (Though I would miss the "being looked after" aspect of INTPs, which is absolutely true for me.) The worst thing ever is casual dating; loathe it so much. Committed or single. No in-between. I don't have the patience or willpower to tolerate uncertainty.
@@aleeza3001 3:29 I remember him talking about this in more detail, but I don't remember which video it was. INTPs with our Si can be rather clumsy and out of touch with the physical world, so having someone who can compensate for that is really great for us.
@@aleeza3001 I can tell that INTP women can be pretty masculine, lol. I guess we INTPs just never fit well into those masculine/feminine labels. We are unbothered by the visual side of that matter and have a rather weak physical presence. Also, in my case at least, Ne makes me open to any sexual/romantic options. It's all about intellectual side of the relationship.
@@aleeza3001 We are intelligent but childlike. In another video he explains that we enjoy the deeper thinking of aspects and a charm to keeping our options open within our minds. However, this also brings about the difficulty in actually coming to a consensus on what we've chosen to decide as a definitive answer/resolution., making us the cautious type especially if you are planning on pursuing an INTP. We have in short, a lack of adulting tendencies within ourselves to be in accord and compared to some other-types as keeping time stamps or the need to be regimented to doing tasks we often aren't fond of doing or see as merely To-Do-Tasks of disinterest. Specifically we enjoy a certain physical care, or 'adult supervision'. Where we find it at times a chore to eat, clean, or keep daily routines. It's simply due to how we utilize our time to be enthralled or be preoccupied in thinking internally to a deeper depth than most would on average. That said, we also enjoy the puzzle solving aspects of not just facts, logic or knowledge, but also the common anomaly we see as these things called Feelings within other people as well as within ourselves. We will if interested in you, will analyse you to the very depths of your exterior, character, traits, advantages and will definitely see you first as what you bring to our side before ever getting messy with the feelings aspect of things. And so, an INTP will give out a clear understanding of the options bluntly to someone willing to listen without really deciding on a final answer. There you may get the rare occasion of the INTP seeking you out first and giving you clear definitive rules of principle they earnestly want you to also embody if ever taking up their offer in a serious relationship. As the truth and honesty of logic is what we often find ourselves abiding by as rules, and principles in our speech, thoughts as well as critical analysis on situations in life. We would love to see another accept and try or even go as far as to embody those core principles alongside us in a rational and logical way. To get those pesky feelings out of there, of course until gradually over time, the INTP will share their inner feelings at their own pace. We are also notorious for procrastination due to these traits and often take a laid back approach to the concept of 'time spent well/worthily', to a whole other extreme. Such trivial things like birthdays, or year round calendar celebrations aren't our forte and often times we just don't care about gifts, we'd much rather just someone to pick their brain about some convoluted theory they read on some random article of interest for a soiree. That includes being one to pickup on different concepts and having many windows open while brainstorming different ideas and yet still merely being content in doing this learning process, with still nothing as a definitive result to show for it. Unlike the INTJ personality types or other Judging types. The INTP isn't driven to see actual results but merely the contentment they have in progressive learning and 'Eureka' moments of life, that offers them joy. Especially for the extroverted types out there, they can be the source of new material and new energizers that the INTP could compliment well in forming a romantic relationship. I hope this was helpful. And thanks for reading the comment.^^
Im an Intj. It's rather rare and a slow process for me to get into relationships of any kind be it romantic or a friendship etc, but once I'm there I'm there to the bitter end. I'm extremely loyal and I do my best to show how much I care, and I never end a relationship without do everything to save it because if I'm in said relationship they've already been worked into my long term plans being at my side.
An INFP here. I'm in my late twenties but never have a relationship. I do have trust issue and also found out how difficult it is to keep a marriage from my parents (30 years); these things alone could encourage me to stay single forever. But the last half of this year got me realising that relationship should come as a part of my journey that gives a distinct character development, whether it ends up nicely or badly. Tbh I'm laughing myself at the fact that I still even doubt whether I can stay this positive at the end of the road, but I just have to believe in the process. Now it's up to finding the right person though, pandemic is not really that beneficial for this, but I believe there are something I can work on.
Hi! I'm a married INFP)) just wanted to encourage you 😊 having someone to love and be loved is the thing that fills the void. I can relate to your fears but we could as well give up on life itself, cause you know...sometimes it sucks. A family is what brings light and warmth into it. God bless!
@@Caledoniadream Hi there! Your comment somewhat soothes some of my doubts. Thank you so much for the words of affirmation, truly appreciate it! Really hope the best for you and your family! God bless you too ^^
Both of you are sooo freaken adorable! This is one of the sweetest exchanges I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing, in this crazy internet🥰I love INFPs so much. My first born girl is INFP, btw. I’m not JUST a crazy lady commenting😅
I'm an INTJ married to an ENTJ for fifteen years now. We have the same goals and values and are like a mad scientist/evil overlord duo. I have an online INFJ friend who comes in VERY handy for asking why the peasants keep getting upset with us so that we can stay just shy of having them revolt against us. For any overlords/mad scientist duos out there...get. Yourself. An. INFJ. They are invaluable.
@@labaccident2010 Then we're all doomed! INFJ's can be scary! LOL! INTJ's thinking they're at the top of the dastardly deed food chain rubbing our hands together watching everything going according to plan and trying to decide when to unleash our 'muahahaha'...and then we glance to the side and there's a bored INFJ just standing there staring at us like, "Whatcha doin'?" And we're like, "BWAGH! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!" And they're like, "Hmmm...interesting...." And write something in a notebook.
40 yr old INTJ here. I have always taken the success of relationships personally. If they fail, it reflects badly on me, so I fought to keep relationships going. But, once I decided the relationship was over, I could not be swayed. I don't date, the idea of meeting someone for small talk, and it not turning into an interrogation gives me anxiety. More recently I had a cute hair stylist who was so enamored with me that she forgot to put the sheet on me, and just started cutting my hair, I had to ask for it, then she started tripping over herself. Did I hit on her? Nope. I was my normal stoic self, and pretended like I didn't even notice her awkwardness. Just the thought of asking her on a date, and having to try and plan out conversations to prevent awkward silence without resorting philosophical questions is giving me anxiety just sitting here. Even in my worst relationship, never have I ever considered a threesome, or cheating on my partner. If I am happy in a relationship, I stop seeing other Women as potential partners. I have learned to stop telling Women that because they look at me like I am crazy, and begin to test me in ways I do not like.
@@LilacSnowBun I took from it that most guys can't stop looking, like in the movies. I did it in this instance because I am glacial in my decision making. I still hadn't made a decision about her long term potential, when I noticed that I could interact with Women without that undercurrent of sexuality. I was dumbstruck by it, and wanted to share that I was happy with her. I did not anticipate her reaction. (We were living together at the time.)
Wait...women look at you like you are crazy for that??? That's just...sad. I am the same way. I'm with someone so there are no other potential partners. The end. -INTJ Female.
My brother in law is an INTP and one of my best friends is a dating a lovely female INTP and they're pretty much engaged 😁 you just need someone that appreciates your chill open intellect
I’m an ISTP and I’m not sure if I’m unique in this or not but I think that I wii either likely get married or stay single forever without any in between. Mainly cause I see no use in casual relationships that provide nothing so I’d rather be alone or in a strongly committed relationship.
INFJ here and pretty much the same. I'm good on my own and will not settle for someone I dnt see myself longterm with. I dnt do casual dating, no point and draining. I will give my all, give it my best shot, when I meet the right person, but if/when it ends, I will have no problem with spending the next 10 yrs or a life alone, it's just better than in bad company. 🤷♀️
I am an ISTP quite happily married to an INTP (I Think, or possibly INFP). I enjoy demonstrating my loving care in practical ways; and she likes being cared for. Also, I really like having an intelligent partner; and she likes having a practical partner. BUT; we were life long friends before we go married; so we KNEW Who we were getting! 🤩💕😍💕😎
So, that's interesting. I'm an ENFP and it's funny to think that when I was young almost all of my childhood friends dreamed of getting married. But me, I've never even actually thought about it until much much later in life, and still the thought is just a blur. I've never been in a relationship either, maybe the freedom thing has to do with it but it's also cause my intuition is just too damn good. I won't start a relationship with someone I know for a fact I would not want to spend much time with in the long run cause I know I get bored a lot, so I decide to spare myself and other people from the emotional damage. I believed I would never find someone that actually intrigues me and my intuition just tells me is right for a long time, but I believe it now :)
I‘m an ENFJ and even though I would like to get married sometimes, I don‘t know if I will ever find a partner. I also haven‘t really been in a relationship with anyone yet since my intuition told me that the relationship I could have had wouldn‘t have lasted very long and I don‘t want to commit to anything that I know is doomed to fail.
@@flusel4949 I love ENFJs so so so much. You guys are some of the most intelligent people I've ever met. You all have emotional, academic, spiritual and social intelligence in a way I could only dream of. I'm lucky to have a few ENFJ close friends and what I say to you is PLEASE protect your heart. You're wayyyyyy too precious to give it to just anyone. Especially because you guys have such a big heart, you're so deserving of love and happiness! Accept nothing less than the wonderful things you're meant to accept.
@@sheldonacrumb824 It will happen to you when the time is right! There's a reason I've said I believe it now 😉 (still haven't been in a relationship, but i've experienced something, let's say that hahaha) . You're deserving of all the love on this planet and never forget how beautiful you can make someone's life be, just by being you. You have the gift of joy, a joy and wonder for the world that few people have access to. You deserve someone that makes your life happier than it already is, cause that's what you do for everyone daily.
@@ninaportoc Thank you so much! I sadly don‘t know any ENFJs beside myself, but it‘s good to know that we are also appreciated for our (different kinds of) intelligence as well as our heart. Your words meant a lot! And I love you ENFPs so much as well! A few of my best friends are ENFPs and they are some of the kindest, most creative and fun people I know! You also have a unique kind of intelligence and so many other character traits that are definitely not appreciated enough!
I find that as an ISTP I was pretty careful about selecting a mate. Fortunately he is also an introvert (ISTJ) and very stable, which balances my emotional moments. His Ne is creative and fun and his Si is great for the long-term planning needed for vacations and adventures. I strongly believe that my Ne blind spot has a lot to do with why, even during very frustrating times, I have stayed put. A detached, intellectual, realistic, dedicated approach has helped a lot as well. Staying the course has paid off. Been together 34 years. (ISTP)
I agree. My dad's the ISTP and he's married to my ISFJ mother. Whilst my mother may not be the most intellectually stimulating, she's very sincere and hardworking and stable, and she gives a lot of space to my dad, and I know my dad appreciates that a lot (He has my sister and I for the more philosophical, intellectual convos haha). His inferior Fe, and her aux Fe initially clashed, and they got into arguments because my dad couldn't read social cues well, and was kinda inappropriate at times, and my mum was being sensitive, and felt that she couldn't understand him; being S types, they saw things more at face value, but they learn't and are now happily married and growing even more stronger for 23 years now.
I’m an INFJ and I lived my younger life thinking oh yes I’m gonna get married have kids this is some that will happen in a very far future I don’t need to worry about it now. Then you’re in your twenties and it’s okay you’re still young worry about that later right now focus on your career, yourself, your growth. And then boom I’m 28 I’m worried it’s not that I want a partner it’s seeing people getting married and you are like no man I still want my independence! It’s tough but every time I think of the idea of me sharing my life with someone I wish I could run away and hide I don’t want that life. I’m too private. Too independent. Too tired of people.
I am an ISTJ and my husband is an ISTP. We have been together for 10+ years. The reason we work so well together is because I organize the house around him and if I ask him to help me, he does. Then he has an idea to do something and he enjoys the fact that I will plan the entire thing for him so it goes well. We have the same long term goals for our life. Outside of these things we leave each other alone most of the time. I have learned that for a relationship to work with an ISTP, I just need to leave him alone. If he needs something he will ask it if me.
INFJ, got married to ENFJ who was divorced from his previous marriage. For a while I thought I wouldn't get married bc I'd be happier single than with the wrong person, but it worked out.
I’m an ENTJ married for 9 years to an ENTP. I can honestly say we’re still falling in love, but we consistently work very hard to be our best selves and to support growth in our relationship. I believe all human relationships experience different ‘seasons’ - we’ve had a few ‘winters’ in this marriage. But it’s been incredibly fulfilling to grow together over time. One thing I’ve learned is how differently various personalities present when we’re healthy vs unhealthy. We each contribute strengths and experience challenges based on our own health or growth as people. As a relatively healthy ENTJ, I’m very dedicated and loyal - cultivating a strong partnership is a primary achievement or life goal of mine. When I’m less healthy, I become more selfish and begin to view everything through the lens of a zero-sum game. But when I’m healthier, I’m in a better state to identify the value of our different strengths and how our differences might enrich my life. For example, ENTP inspires my own adventurous spirit and compliments my growth mindset challenging me to become a better person. But I can lose sight of this or sometimes take it for granted. Just a few thoughts I wanted to share…
As an INFP, I agree on the Married assessment but not as much on the Divorced one. First, I disagree about Fi-doms being uncompromising. I can be very good at compromising with people, especially those I love, and I've even changed/adapted things about myself - not fundamental nature things but like, behavioral things, or opening my mind to different things - for people I've loved of my own free will. What I'm uncompromising about is being free and self-determined and not violating my nature or what's in my heart - and I would never be with someone who suppressed my nature or tried to change me. Nor would I ever settle for anyone other than the person I'm convinced is right for me, knowing we have a deep, unbreakable connection and fundamental compatibility. My analysis for my type is basically the same as yours for INTPs: I am so careful about only getting into a relationship with the Right person that it's highly unlikely that that relationship (marriage especially) wouldn't work out. And there is the ultracommitment thing too. Second, regarding the changing nature of INFPs: I feel like this might go more for INFPs who haven't fully figured themselves out yet. The journey of self-discovery is something that for some INFPs, like myself, is largely concentrated in a short and intense burst, ideally early in life, and for others may be spread out over several decades. I've been so clear on who I fundamentally am and what I fundamentally want out of life for years, I could never see myself undergoing a drastic change that would suddenly make me incompatible with someone I've been fundamentally compatible with for years. Sure, there is still some gradual growth and evolution, and there is forever self-cultivation and self-improvement, but the core of it all is very stable. I got my major crises and upendings over with early. It's pretty smooth sailing now. I do feel it is so important to know who we really are and what we really want before getting into relationships. For me personally, even that is not enough: I have to not only know myself but also then cultivate myself into the best version of myself, and get my life in order, before I really feel ready to share myself with people. And that is a process that is still ongoing.
In some regards I admit I can be uncompromising, as an INFP, and that's part of why I would rather not get married in the first place (being asexual and not wanting children is the other). I'm very territorial, and tend to not like interference with what I want to do. There would also need to be a VERY high compatibility on values and such. I know myself well enough to know I have these traits and that they are not very compatible with marriage, so I think it's better to recognize that and not get into a relationship on what would to my mind be false pretenses. That would neither be respectful to potential boyfriends, nor to myself.
@@nerysghemor5781 Yeah, it's definitely good to be honest with yourself about whether or not you're suited for a relationship. I too have some strong values and personal preferences - that's part of why I'm very picky and cautious about who I get into relationships with - but in my experience, it is possible to find someone who aligns with that. Plus, love is pretty high on my values list. :)
I think it depends on the type of INFP you are. I (INFP) could see myself getting a divorce if I ever got married. I know this based on a couple of very close friendships that ended. These were deep, wonderful relationships while they lasted. I fought to stay friends as I'm loyal to a fault, but it became clear that the relationships couldn't be sustained. It broke my heart, but we severed the relationships. It was for the best and I'm grateful for what those friendships brought to my life. As these friendships were in different times of my life, I know it wasn't just how I acted during a phase. There's a line and if it's crossed, it's over. If we were married, I'd divorce them. One thing I learned is that you can't control another person. There's no guarantee that they won't change or you won't. My ideal is a forever person who would not be chosen lightly because, like you, it's such a deep process for me, however, I'm only human. I mean, I'm in my 30s and in a transition period with myself. The type of person I would have thought perfect and married in my 20s wouldn't fit at all with me now. Either they'd have to transition with me (which isn't fair if that's not where they're at), or get to know and love the now me (who they may not like as they fell in love with the old me), or we'd need to end it so we could both live our best lives. Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm realizing life doesn't have to live up to my ideals. That endings, though painful, are good as they lead to beginnings. That I'm MISERABLE when I keep fighting for something/one that's run its course! And I'm strong enough to let go if it comes to that.
@@sharnisestreaty9286 Right. Nothing's impossible, and it's not that I can't see it possibly happening. I too will let a relationship go if it has truly run its course, or a certain line gets crossed in a way I couldn't have predicted. But I was, like the video, just talking relative likelihood - in which case, I do think the likes of me (which may well not be all INFPs) belong in the 'unlikely' tier.
ENFP got married to an ISTJ. He couldn’t handle me. He always felt I was “too much” in my bubbly self. I would say I’m quite stable compared to other ENFPs I know. And my values of loyalty and need for consistency are quite high. Anyways, after 4 months of marriage he decided to go to med school (after already being a pilot) and marriage to him got in the way. So he divorced me. I was devastated and sought counseling for 5 years. So sometimes stereotypes are blown up due to values, background, family upbringing, childhood issues. These “types” are generalities. They don’t describe any one person.
@@chaitanyajain3127 I'm an ENFP and I'm looking for a fellow ENFP for marriage. I've decided that since I make good money we can just hire an assistant to handle the difficult, mundane aspects of life and live freely together :)
ISTP male (35), here. Single. As an outsider looking in, it just seems to me that relationships are in a state of flux, right now. We all know the old roles, but we live in an era where neither party wants to do them. The old model is broken, but no one knows what the next (that works) will be. So, to me, pulling the trigger on a modern relationship seems like a roll of the dice. For me, my Autonomy has always been my most cherished possession. If I'm going to give that up to protect/provide, then the benefits of winning a dice roll, better be worth the risk. With the state of flux and the high failure rate of "modern" relationships, that bet at 35 gets harder and harder to make. Will I ever find a partner that makes me want to role the dice? No Idea. Am I good as an ISTP if I don't? You betcha. Cheers.
ISTP male (38), here. This is weird. I could have copied and pasted your comment and used it as my own. I've thought this same thing for a while and I'm in the same state in my life.
@@ericmata3728 Cheers, man. I know one other ISTP IRL in the same boat. Wouldn't surprise me if Its a common ISTP thing. My main problem these days is what to do to pass all the extra time. 1st world problems, I guess. Hope all is well.
Tbh I (an ENFP) have no idea how my marriage to my ISTP husband has managed to last so long. Maybe that's the key, it continues to be a mystery that I can't solve!
@@fedup1606 My dad's an ISTP, and I'm an INFP and I have my own chaos. My sister aptly articulated myself as being "chaotically stable." Dad stills thinks I'm the greatest mystery of mankind lol
Very interesting. I think the right person would convince you otherwise about the touching or being a gamer as a requirement. You may say this now only because you probably haven't experienced it but if you find someone who you really like, there's a possibility your stance could change. I say this because I remember my INTP husband would tell me certain things early on in our relationship and I would just say "okay", but told him I think he'd change his mind. Later as the relationship progressed, his mind changed.
INFP happily married to an ISTJ here (6 years in relationship, 2 years married). I agree that INFP's aren't as likely to get married as some other types, as it's often difficult to find a partner matching our values and high standards. And I agree, that when we find such a person, we become ultra commited and that person becomes kinda a part of us. But that's precisely why I would put us in "unlikely" category when it comes to divorce. Don't get me wrong, the relationship issues that you mention we may have are correct, but they appear at a way, way earlier stage of a relationship than marriage. When we marry, it's usually when we found a person that I mentioned at the begining, that works with us and we became ultra commited to them. And when you're ultra commited, a chance of divorce is smaller. Besides, even when, as you mentioned, we may wake up one day and feel different about ourselves and our life, there's one thing that is very permanent for us - our value system, due to Fi being our top function. When our value system is developed, it's not easily changed. And marriage usually comes at a later stage of relationship, after a few years, when our relationship and our partner are already integrated into our value system. So although we may easily suddenly (out of the blue even) feel unsatisfied with our relationship at it's earlier stages, after a few years, when we become fully commited, it's not very likely.
As an INFP, I get very attached to my person and sentimental about the relationship. I do look at other possibilities and naturally have this grass is greener mentality at times but over time I get more attached and it’s hard to see myself pulling the trigger(poor choice of words). I’ll always feel this slight push and pull but with a combo of Fi/Ne/Si it’s easy to see why. Fi causes me to look for an ideal and this can cause me to either overlook flaws or focus on them. It’s frustrating.
If there's a short answer to your predicament, it'd be your Te not working hard enough or have little say in your psyche. INFPs with stronger Te often would appear more cynical & vindictive, yet other than being more grounded & structured, the biggest reward would be the sensitivity to flaws & the compulsion to get them sorted out, before we decide if the good & beautiful in whatever is worth our time.
INFP and single. Granted I'm asexual so that also disinclines me towards marriage. I'm also highly territorial, like my alone time, and don't like impositions on my schedule, so I think being single works out best for me anyway. XD
As an INFP I used to love the idea of falling in love, so much so I fantasize every single bit about it (how I'll meet my s/o, how I'll treat him, or even the wedding) but as I grow up I slowly lose interest that I dont even bother anymore! 1. When I was younger my parents always discourage me from watching fantasy films about love story, they even get mad when I giggle over a sweet scene. They discourage me from befrending boys and anyone who ever dare look in my way, my parents would jump in and give me an hour lecture why that's unnacceptable. Whenever I have a crush, they would exaggerate it like the guy got me pregnant! 2. All my aunts and uncles either have bad marriages or bad matches. The way my family/relatives treat the outsiders is horrible and toxic! They would do anything to push you to be with the person they selected for you, if you dont abide with that, there'll be a life long tension. It scares the hell out of me and made me lose hope of a true-love. 3. They often bad mouth boys. Seriously. They're always like "boys only like sex, boys are immature, boys only want thrilling relationships" so on... 4. Lastly, I realized no one likes broken things. I have several mental disorders and childhood trauma which affected my overall self. All these contributed from me being a fantasizer of true love to someone who doesn't believe on it anymore. I'd rather be on my own, enjoy my own company without worrying about what others would think. And I can say I'm satisfied. Sorry bout the long rant!
Oh shit I sort of have thought that I wrote that comment and forgot about it but I don't write down my thoughts that perfect...the same story in details even my family .. Are u me in another universe 😅
it really sucks hard when the ones supposedly symbolising love in various forns are actually the ones destroying all perceptions of love. and then expect you to find it. clown world we live in
Married once for the wrong reason... thinking he can change. I saw so much potential. Divorced because of same reason. Narcissists don't really love you and nothing can really change them...no matter how much you love them. Mine was mentally and emotionally abusive. I will say I didn't want a divorce because I meant my vows. It tore me apart. INFP
I'm an INFP that hasn't been married, but in my last relationship when I said I would never give up on him I meant it with all my heart. Things got so bad that I was choosing him over my well-being but I still stayed for far longer than I should have. It felt like I was tearing out a part of myself when I left but it felt nice to be free again.
ISTP here. Already in the phase of wanting to be single forever and not minding it at all. I do get crushes but not enough interest to pursue because relationship is a hassle, where I don't think it's just making an effort with that person but with his friends, family & circle, too much new people to be acquainted for me. When I was in a relationship, all I could think of was how one day we'll break up (no wonder I'm most likely to "divorce"), and I'll get stressed out when we make actual steps to get married. I bailed after the 4th year.
I totally get you. I have a very similar approach, especially when it comes to the hassle and the people "around" the relationship. I don't mind meeting those people but I don't like it when I don't get along with them. Then I perceive the core relationship as somewhat tainted. And I certainly don't like doing literally everything together and stressing "me and my boyfriend did this and that". We're two separate people after all. I don't consider it strange for my type as INFJs are said to be quite detached in many matters.
@@PriHL yess! I have a friend who has issues with her husband's whole family (they gaslight her like hell), but she has to be nice. Thankfully her husband never sides with them since he knows they're toxic. I wouldn't be able to live like that. No amount of love can make me accept that baggage (nor do I want to force him to accept mine). It really is an "it's not you, it's me" issue.
@@MichelleSudarsono Absolutely. If I were to be stuck in toxic circumstances like that, I'd rather give up the relationship because it's going to be hell like this forever.
@@MichelleSudarsono I don't think she 'has to be nice' any more than they do. And I think the most reasonable thing in a situation like that is to not be forced to deal with the toxic family. I would never judge or disqualify someone as a partner (or friend) based on their family - and I certainly wouldn't want that done to me. But I sure wouldn't want to get dragged into any toxicity. Nor would I ever drag anyone into my own family's toxicity. Unless you live in a super-traditional environment where you feel stuck, or lack mental strength/empowerment, you can set whatever boundaries you feel the need to with your family as an adult. And I think if you really love and care about someone, you should do that for them.
@@Multitudes_ Definitely! If you can make that effort for someone, go for it! If you think you've found the one and is willing to hold on to them, more power to you! I unfortunately, never allow myself to "really love & care about someone" (romantically). Simply because I'm too afraid of the unknown. Call me a coward, call me a pessimist. It might sound lonely to some, but it does give me a peace of mind...being single. But I'm lucky since I do have a friend that I can open up to and a close family member. I think those relationships replace the need for a connection with a romantic interest.
I am an INFJ and my fiancé is an INTJ. I agree with the grouping for divorce and what was said. We both work hard to maintain our relationship and create our ideal future together but we have our own different areas of focus that make it work. I think we balance each other. I inspire ideas and he makes those ideas a reality. Plus I take care of him when he won’t take care of himself. I think we are both people who don’t commit in relationships until we are sure we see a future in them.
I'm an INFP happily married to an INTP (7 years and counting, plus 4 in a relationship before that)… must admit though, up until we met both himself and everyone around him thought it was an unlikely scenario.
Mid forties INTP here, going through a divorce. Relationship lasted 18 years. Currently doing my best to avoid falling for either of the two women that have been supporting me emotionally. after a suicide attempt. Sorry, that was a lot to blurt out.
ENTPs likely to get married? Not really, given that many of us thinks marriage is an archaic institution and effectively nothing more than a glorified economic contract with the government.
Oh wow... The ENTJ's I know are 1/2 and 1/2... Some seem really unhappy though cause they are constantly striving for more which shows their dissatisfaction in their partners. But glad to hear the ENTJ's in your life are the most loyal ones you know.
ENTJs are so loyal that it is sometimes hard to believe it is true, lol. But really, they deserve more good word. They are willing to do a lot for their partner once settled. Luckily they do not try the impossible and always take a rational approach to the problem but I am still slightly worried they could be manipulated in a really bad way without noticing it (not just in a relationship, they are also pretty loyal with their friends). - INTP happily in a relationship with ENTJ
Gee, I didn't need to be called out like this I've been single for 3 years lol. I'm an ENTP based on my function stack but I'm more introverted socially, at least recently. I know lots of people who always gets into relationship without having much time in between, and there's me. I like being independent and go on my own but sometimes it can feel lonely.
Maybe we ENTPs are made to be in multiple relationships one after another. Larry Ellison, I believe is an ENTP(I could be wrong), I aspire to be like him.
as a female entp living in an Asian country. this will be even harder for me because I see potential everywhere, but get bored super fast once I figure someone out and can't see myself being with them 😶
It's hard bc it's rare for me to meet sb who's interesting enough. Someone to have very engaging and free intellectual discussions with. But who's not an extreme homebody either (like INTPs tend to be). And then there's that it takes me months to warm up to someone even if this is working. Because once I get attached I'm vulnerable to this person exploiting the Fe child devotion. :"C
ISTP female got married at 18 to an INTJ male, I left and was divorced by 22. had a few relationships since then, notably with ENTP and ISFJ, but I found it hard to ever be as invested as I was the first time around, and even when I was married I still thought of my future alone. I'm just happy by myself is all, and people are a lot of effort.
With INFP at sometimes married and sometimes divorced as well as being more likely to be single than Extroverts, my odds aren't looking great 😅 Guess I'll just stick to the INFP hopeless romantic stereotype 😂
INTJ here seeing this as I'm going through a divorce from my INFJ husband of 11 years. Not on bad terms. We've definitely grown apart and have different end game goals. He wants to be alone in Alaska because he's awoken on an extremely spiritual level. Not religion related. I've discovered my true self and are very self aware and driven. With that being said, he doesn't want to ever date again and I don't believe anyone would be worth the effort to try and deal with. So we'll be in single forever lol 😭🙃
ENFJ here. I never questioned the fact that I wanted to be married, and the sooner the better (provided the right circumstances). It was a natural masterpiece for my psychology: taking this one relationship to its highest potential over the course of a lifetime. I also wanted someone to balance and ground me. Thankfully I was granted all these blessings: 15 years very happily married to an INTJ.
@@vanbi9430 sure thing! What aspect, in particular, piques your curiosity? The concept of my seeing a marriage as a masterpiece? Or my particular (admittedly somewhat odd couple-ish) marriage itself?
since i'm quite late to comment, i bet this comment will go unnoticed lol well, i'm an enfp. i got married at a rather young age to my intj husband. still with him. 9 years and counting. had our 1st kid in 2019, and we're expecting another (due next month!).
I remember my ENFP best friend at high school spending time planning her wedding and me thinking I couldn't think of anything worse than having an entire day of people watching me (INFP). I have never been married and don't ever plan to get married. Of course, the fact that my ENTJ mother went through 3 failed marriages probably also hasn't helped. I am in a long term relationship but won't be getting married.
INTJ. Knew I did not want children by late teens and really had zero interest in marriage at all, ever. Being hyper observant, just watching interactions and reading between the lines at the social gatherings you'd get dragged along to, it was blatantly obvious. My standards are, by all current social norms, completely insane. Valuing integrity, honesty, truthfulness and enjoying learning, taking care of yourself, reading, exercising make it virtually impossible. I fully realize it and it doesn't bother me one bit. Extremely happy being able to just do as I please, work on goals, small projects, reading/researching/investing. I cannot do small-talk, at all. I need ideas, plans, thoughts, logical reasoning, etc. I don't know which type of (E)xtrovert female personality I do get along with, but it's whichever one is highly destructive. They'll be playing whatever game(s) they use on guys, think they're doing great for a quick minute and, then, once they figure out I'm just playing along with no intentions whatsoever, usually just get angry, etc. The sarcasm and quick witted interactions/responses come easily, but they're almost always, without fail... well, lets just say not having any qualities that I'd look for in a partner - to keep it kind. I'll sometimes tell them "I don't date" and they're completely lost. I'm in pretty darn good shape, exercise daily, look good and have done well. I have no issues whatsoever getting attention. None. But, I just really don't care. I easily manage to eliminate 99.999% within a second or two just from appearance, mannerisms, behaviors, tone of voice or other things. Thankfully, I've been extremely happy with peace, quiet and freedom and don't concern myself with any of it.
I'm an infj and very picky. I don't think I've ever disqualified someone bc of the tone of their voice. But I have thought 'i wd hate to have to listen to that person's voice the rest of my life,' so maybe I can see where you're coming from.
You definitely sound like my INTJ hubby. It is good you know your standards and stick by them; such will protect your peace, long-term. Before me, an attractive ENFP was drawn to him, and he was tempted because she is intelligent, beautiful, and an artist. But, circumstances prevented their being together. Interestingly, I was her confidante for a while and am thankful they didn't get together, for his sake. She continually complained about her successful boyfriend spending more time with his projects and business than with her when he'd take her along to enjoy the location of his business trips. My hubby would have seen her as high maintenance and needy. She would have seen him as uncaring and would have responded by becoming harsh and grating toward everyone in their lives. That said, if you ever do want a companion for life, there are good ones out there. They just need to be pretty focused on others, I think, so they can see you for who you are and why you do what you do. You need to shun needy and keep an eye out for autonomous and loving, from what I have experienced by the side of my INTJ.
My wish is to spend eternity being immortal (i'm aware this might sound torturous for many) but just so I may explore every far-flung region of the universe with my romantic partner....so I sure as hell hope we don't get divorced in the process out in space
@@infinitelogicmachine8587 I'm more interested in your type :) (edit: I mean your mbti type lol i just realised it kinda sounds different from what I was getting at)
@@CloakedJester Because hauling the human corpse of your loved one through the universe for eternity sounds sooooo exciting (lol nah, said partner needs to share my immortality ofc 🙂)
INFP here, my advice is learn to do what makes your spirit shine. Find meaningful things to do and learn about and create, and know that you'll be fine alone because you are self-sufficient! Then you'll never be desperate and waste yourself on a douchebag because you thought you needed him/her. It's ALWAYS better to be alone than with someone who crushes your spirit.
Nice analysis. I’m an ISTP who’s married but never really set out to be…mostly because I didn’t want my life to be controlled by anyone else. It took a long time for my would-be wife to convince me that she wouldn’t try to force me into anything. For me, any relationship where I have no choice is untenable. I got lucky and met the right woman (ISFP btw…she understands the need for autonomy) or I’d probably be unmarried today 🤷🏾♂️
I’m an ENTJ woman married to an ISFJ man. We’ve been married almost 17 years. While it took us a while to figure it out, we have a relationship that works for us and we love each other dearly.
I’m INFJ and have been married to my INTP for 25 years. We’ve had some big bumps, but worked through. Being together so long has definitely forced us to grow our lower functions and to use our upper functions more correctly. I do love our conversations on culture and philosophy.
I'm really glad to hear you say that. I'm also an INFJ (female) married to an INTP (male). We've been together nine years and you've given me hope that we'll stay that way 😉.
Since you were curious and wanted us to comment - INTJ 39 years old - 13 year relationship, 6 year relationship, 2 year relationship, currently hitting 1 year with an ISTJ. Married and divorced once, engaged 3 times. I did run those relationships into the ground trying to save them and I appear to stay in long term relationships honestly much longer than I should. This one is great though. Hardly any conflicts.
ENFJ married to my INTP for one year! It's pretty tough I'll be honest with you. He's a very skeptical person and although I do feel that he thought this through with our relationship before getting married, he still has some thoughts on his mind that really test us. I am his first relationship, whereas I have been in 4 other long-lasting relationships... It does worry me that both ENFJ's and INTP's are under the "Sometimes" in the Divorce section.... Also, very random but my husband never went out to find anyone. I just happen to be one of those extroverts who adopted him while i was pet sitting for a friend of mine. Hehe... :)
Meditate don't be dependent on him for your happiness, read power of now excellent book for being happy , also why do people be in a relationship when it is tough, why not be with someone with whom the relationship is loving, caring and easy going
INTP has been married on ESTJ for 17 years. Technically still married, but we broke up last summer. And I am so far from the idea of starting a new relationship now. But still never met an ENTJ lol.
my mom is ESTJ and they have huge superiority complex. no matter how smart I am, she will find a reason to scold me. on an equal level it might work, but nobody is perfect anyway. Young ESTJ will for sure have Fi problems.
I am an ENTJ and I ended up married young. I did not enjoy the restrictions and responsibilities needed for this. My wife and ISTJ really helped me work through my issues and we were able to work through our rocky patches. We are still married 12 years later.
As an ENTJ, I see myself as a traditional man when it comes to dating or being with someone because my parents have been married for 35+ years. So, the concept of nuclear family is something that I strongly relate to. I will make it so that I move in a strategic way to make a relationship work, meaning foreseeing the upsides and the downsides and everything else that could happen and how to act if something bad would happen. I hate ''going with the flow''.
As fellow ENTJ, I appreciate the traditional structures of classical relationships as well, but my life experience has given me the lessons to see both the value and risk of the intimate relationship. It'll take a very specific person to entice me into a partnership, but without that option, I'm left to finding others who I find useful towards my growth without the dedication often found in intimacy based relations. It's a difficult age we live in. Humans need one another to survive.
ENTJ woman here. I also see myself as very traditional, and I want a traditional dynamic in my relationships. I aspire to being feminine, and I want a husband who I can look up to and trust to be the leader. Having such a "hard" personality type, though, makes this difficult, because I find that most people are significantly "softer" than I am, and I want to be able to be the soft one in a partnership.
I'm an ENFJ and so far I've never had a partner. It's something that I really long for but I never get the same amount of love that I give. Even when people reciprocated my feelings, they didn't commit to it. I think it will be hard for me to find someone as passionate as me
I encourage you to challenge your perception of passion, learn to appreciate the different, and prioritize growing friendships on a solid foundation of healthy boundaries. The rest should take care of itself. 💕
It's interesting that you say this because I think I've always felt that I would always give more and because of this, I have just accepted it. There are some people in my life that try to match me, and to me that's good enough because the effort shows. It's an ENFJ curse...but maybe take Lazy Pea's suggestion and find another ENFJ? Although, I have a few ENFJ friends out there and depending where they are in life and how burnt out they are from other relationships or I should say jaded, the reciprocation might not happen as much as you would like. So it just depends.... But good luck!
As an ENTJ, I don't want to be in a relationship because I need the freedom to do what I want, when I want, where I want, with who I want. And there's also the fact that the people who like me are always the ones who want something from me without adding value to my life in return, which is an absolute deal breaker for me. No one I've met is able to match me in the skills where I require them to. Anyways...I love my life😌💅
Being an INTJ woman is quite difficult. I've never been in a relationship for twenty years of my life. I feel like I want to be in a relationship but at the same time, I don't want to.
Also an INTJ girl, just turned 22 and have never been in a relationship. Dating feels so...uncomfortable. I keep waiting for an ENxP to come sweep me away, to get me to WANT to put in the effort, but meeting one feels almost impossible sometimes. Society expects women to be the bubbly, emotionally available, friendly caretaker, and INTJs....dont exactly fit the mold.
You are INFJ? Interesting... Also, ISTP's are not exactly socially incompetent. They just choose not to say anything they deem unnecessary and to not be near anyone when there is no specific cause or call to action.
I think I disagree with your INFJ not being a candidate for staying single more.... I imagine that they are likely to stay single, at least in this day and age. Although IF they found a compatible partner, it wouldn't ever end.
Oh yeah, the number of divorced and still single INFJs I know is staggering... But they are also (almost) all women. It's a cultural thing I guess, but hopefully people's attitude towards women will change for the better even in traditional societies. Everyone should be equally respected and valued, not just certain groups.
A bit off topic but it just crossed my mind: the perceived scarcity principle is exactly what luxury brands play on. People think that when there is a limited number of an item, it's not readily available and is expensive, it's automatically more worth in whatever value they attribute to it. I always considered it nonsense (and I'm in the luxury sector). I guess I may have saved a lot of money :)
ISTJ woman here. You can't be further from the truth in my case. My parents had a lousy marriage. I grew up in a toxic envinorment and after that all I seek is peace and freedom. Men never bothered to court me. I had a few attempts of relationships but those people couldn't care less. I have very few friends. Because some of them married and got children I don't see them anymore so I realised that most likely I will rely on myself for the rest of my life. Even my friendships are not true. Most of my life I was alone and dealt with s*it life was throwing at me. It wasn't easy peasy. I value freedom, independece and financial stability. So I would rather live on my own than to live with someone and to deal with drama or caughting someone in cheating attempts like before. So I don't trust people easily. Marriage is a trap. I can't imagine living with someone for the rest of my life. That sounds suffocating.
"By single forever, I mean someone who never has a life-long successful relationship". That implies that someone who got divorced and married several times, would not fulfil the quota no? I only bring it up because although extroverts are statistically more likely to be in a relationship (likely because they meet more people as you said, and also they are more likely to take social risks, which are often necessary to obtain a partner), introverts are actually more likely to be in a long-term (especially life-long) relationship, because they are less likely to break up (less likely to take social risks again, and less likely to meet someone new). Further, your statement "the most compatible person from a large sample is going to be better than a small sample", I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes a good long-term relationship and how people choose mates. People rarely understand each other, and usually don't make decisions in who to date from careful curation (but again introverts are more likely to assess social risk and not chase excitement, so probably more likely to curate), and the reasons people break up are rarely because "they weren't the best person to date from a sample", it's because of an issue arising from the relationship, or an unforeseen fundamental incompatibility (often in values rather than personality).
I think the misunderstanding is reasonable. If you picked from a small sample, and none of them are to your likings. Then you're more like to end up being single "forever" since you're also likely to not seek out other people. Which also means that the chances of finding someone of interest is lower. The crucial part of this is about ability to choose, and not about choosing the best of the best.
@@LibraryofAcousticMagic3240 having a girlfriend is not the same as knowing how to maintain it, or knowing how to be emotionally vulnerable and open with your thoughts, feelings and desires, problems of an INTP who had a girlfriend (or something very close to it)
INFJ here. I got married very young (21) to ENTP (also 21) we bought a house and had some babies and then we got divorced. So, I’ve done both. I was the one who pulled the plug. He would’ve happily stayed in it forever. He was like how you described INTP maybe becoming, when you said they don’t mind outsourcing the taking care of themselves, part. I thought I was going to die. I was sooo exhausted because I was working my job, taking care of four young children AND one large and extreeeeemely lazy ENTP husband.
As an ISTP there were a lot of times I got bored of texting and going on dates with people on dating apps and just forgot about their entire existence... Even though I actually liked some and then question why I'm still single.
2:55 yes ENTJ and INTJ take relationship too seriously that's why we don't take it seriously sometimes bc we had enough of them lol but yes it's true that we get distracted by goals sometimes our love ones might hurt by our behaviour and unemotional sides.But we still love them equally we just don't know how to show our emotional sides
INTP, divorsed, single, never again. :-))) Right after divorce I used to watch "Lonely this Christmas"on TH-cam thinking it was a song of triumph only later read somewhere "Lonely this Christmas" was a sad song. Is it really???? They don't look sad.
![โรงเรียนตอนตี 2 โคตรหลอน..!! [โรงเรียนไดเม่]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2MAEMwqVYh8/mqdefault.jpg)
Feel free to check out the LoveWho Patreon and support the channel www.patreon.com/lovewho I'm intending to be more active on there doing Q&As and video requests from Patrons ~ Nathan
Do a video on how mbti types mature and change during different stages of their lives!! (INTP or intj first pls)
@@ChiefKale INTP here: Just getting more set in my ways in reverse progress, which is why I am learning about MBTI because it's sort of motivating me (to learn more about MBTI and keep living on cat food)
I’m curious, Love Who, what is your marital status?
Kudos from Oklahoma ^_^
Could this be used similarly to:
[Likely to Fall in Love / Find a Relationship] and [Likely to Leave a Relationship, Toxic or Otherwise]?
Hi Nathan,
I'm an ENFP woman and finally found my happiness with an intj man. I believe that the sex of the person matters. Enfp men have greater difficulty keeping in a marriage than ENFP women if there are children involved, as an example. I see this difference between men and women and the personality types quite often. Thanks! Antonia.
INTJ here. Never seriously dated anyone until 24, so I was pretty convinced I'd stay alone forever. I was fine with that, though, because I'd much rather be alone than with any of the people I had met up until that point.
Then, all of a sudden, this amazing ENFP strikes up a conversation with me.
Long story short, I proposed 8 months after first talking to her, and we've been very happily married for almost 7 years now. Best decision of my life.
This story is beautiful. I'm an INTJ too and I agree with every word you wrote. I also thought I would've been alone most of my life, because no one seemed to be the person I wanted at my side and I didn't want to be with someone random just to not be alone (also, I honestly liked being alone). And then an extrovert happened to me too and now we've been together for ten years, and it's the best relationship I could've asked for.
@@marinmarieee I understand how you feel, I thought the same when I was your age :) if I can give you an advice, just don't settle for anything less than what you want. Keep your standards high. It will take time but the reward will be worth it. I cheer for you and I wish you the best in life :)
awww, congrats and have a blessed marriage (from an ENFP) :)
this made me think of elon musk and grimes lmao
@@dalenastar They broke up.
Where the single forever people at? Oh yeah, at home just chilling.
Lol, pretty much.
Happy. No drama. Uncomplicated.
(INTP)
@@barkingmad50 space to breathe-no demands. (intj)
Guess I broke the code! My husband is ISTP and we've been together for 10 years. Hard to just avoid people when you marry an extrovert I suppose.
@@GhostOfMrPickles No one to look after, taking care of myself all on my own. (INFJ)
INFJ here. Marriage, as a consequence of real deep love and connection, was my LONG TERM goal. Therefore I have never dated casually. NEVER. Every man I decided to date was judged by me with this goal in mind. And I heavily relied on my intuition. Most of the time I needed one, two dates to dismiss a candidate. I JUST KNEW. I saw them through in a moment. When I met my future husband it just clicked. Everting IMPORTANT was there in right places. The details were to be worked out later but the foundation was solid. I married my first love (not a crush, mind you) and we’re going strong for 23 years.
That is beautiful.
Very cool, very smart
May I ask what's his MBTI? Im an INFJ too and I felt like this is me talking 😅 many guys thinks Im gloomy and boring cz I don't like the dating thing and reject them all, but it's just that I KNOW none of them is the right one, it feels lonely sooetimes seeing ppl in my age getting in relationships but i'll wait for my partener no matter what 😊
As an ENFP with an INFJ mother who advised that I'd "just know," I've "just known" about 5 times now 😬 on the plus side I finally have a clearer picture of what I'm looking for rather than just being like, "everyone is awesome!"
@@hannahpeterangelo7551 haha that's good though, because as much as i'd like to say so, some people are really not awesome
I think IXTPs are highly likely to be married, or forever single.
There is no in between, because it depends on whether they've been adopted by an extrovert (or more likely an ambivert) or not.
INTP'S are very likely to have been married, but are also the type that is the most likely of all to have had a divorce apparently.
divorced INTP here. My experience bears out what I later read--INTPs will take a surprising amount of abuse when they're committed to a relationship.
INTP here. I prefer being 100% single or in a committed relationship, no in between. I loathe casual dating.
My autonomy has always been my most cherished possession. The older I get (35) the more true that becomes. I wouldn't mind a co-pilot, but who really wants to do that anymore?
-ISTP male.
@@fedup1606 Seems to be I value autonomy to my own detriment
I would also remark that as an INTJ, should I ever choose to get involved in a relationship seriously, I will be very loyal to my partner and try my best to make things work out for us. The added factor of being able to read the mood and be able to say the right words for the upset party also helps me navigate through all of my existing relationships. So yeah, on the slim chance that I ever get married, I wouldn't do so with an individual whom I don't think I would even bother to mend an argument with xD
To be fair, as an INTP, I had similar sentiments, and ended up in an abusive relationship.
Abusive people seek out loyalists who will try very hard to make it work, because they know this person will stick around until they’re in too deep.
So be aware of that. Nathan has another video where he discusses the need for having a list of behaviors you won’t tolerate. I wish I’d heard that sooner.
Well said😊👏
@@AK-jt7kh Can you please tell us the name of that video?
@@AK-jt7kh that's a great heads up actually. I am fortunate that I do have my preferences jotted down concretely. And one thing that I will not tolerate under any circumstances is a demanding partner. That's like a red flag with emergency drill sirens blaring for me. I cannot stand people who constantly need my attention and/or try to make it seem like they are doing it for my sake. I like my independence and the ability to not have debts from anyone.
...yepp...
I’m an INFP married to an INTP for 10 years. It surprised me that none of the other girls around paid him much mind because I knew I’d struck gold when I met him. We married quite young, but since we’re both humble and flexible and share similar goals, we knew we could grow together and make it work. He’s also the first person I ever dated.
I'm an INFP who will be 32 next month. I've never been in a relationship and have no plans to marry in the near future. I had so many wounds and traumas from my childhood experiences that I really wanted to heal by my own. Although the idea of having a child has always been a fantasy of mine, I have chosen not to bring anyone into my current path. I'm always seeking for many ways to improve myself and to find my own identity. As an INFP this is a lifelong journey. 🥺
I applaud that 👏 Keep going! I know things will turn out well for you.
🥺
Wow i somehow relate to this very much its like ur saying what im thinking of as well. I hope we can heal from the childhood wounds and traumas
@@urmyfavkindofnight I hope it's not too late for us. I'm not gonna lie though, having a child is one of my biggest dream but I don't want to be selfish and unfair. I don't want to use other person to fill my cup.
You should try psychotherapy, it's the best way to work on yourself in any way. Trust me on this one.
"INTP and ISTP are the more likely type to be single forever"
Me, offended but withouth any known relationship in my entire life: Oi there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
INTP here. Ive been in a few relationships, but generally permasingle
Istp. Never have dont think I ever will
At least we arent on our 3rd marriage🤣😂 call it for what it really is. 2 failed marriages🍾🍷
Being an INTP I kinda saw it coming tho lmao
Can't do that. If ISTPs and INTPs don't reproduce, Ti will dissappear from the gene pool.
•●• *INTJ* •●• with an unhealthy fear of ending up with the wrong person for too long
a very realistic fear-been there, done that and am not eager to try again.
Trust your intuition. Trust your boundaries (those things which are deal breakers). Trust that you can only control your actions/reactions, and be open to the possibility of hurt as this is the only way to secure relationship. It's okay to be in a relationship for a long time, waiting until the romanticism wears off and a foundation established, so you can be sure the commitment is still worth pursuing longterm. It also helps to outline all values and expectations prior to said commitment. It's okay to change your mind and go another way.
Are you my sibling? 😂 my INTJ brother is hitting his mid-30s and REFUSES to entertain the Idea of a relationship. He loves single life.
I don't have that fear lol, because of my my standards lol
My same fear - infj
Me as an INTP: sad noises.
In the same time: Nah, I'm totally fine with that.
Yeah I felt like that, too.
Is the "sad noises" understood by every non INTPs?
It makes me sad yet I couldn't tolerate anything else than being permasingle... It's what's comforting in the end, it's not the external forces making you incel/ette, it's just you, yourself looking out for your own best wellbeing lol
I'm an INTP married to another INTP.
Neither of us have ever dated anyone else, or had any interest in doing so.
Divorce? Not happening.
This makes sense because your communication happens the easiest
Lucky.
I am very curious... how did you guys meet? And who took the initiative to be with the other person?
@@TheLinaChen au bibliotheque?
@@louisejoel library?
Just came here to hear what I didn't want to hear but totally saw coming.
-INTP
dang.
true lol.
same lol
results:
4:10 for married
10:41 for divorced
12:26 single foreva
I'm an INTP. My husband of a decade is an ISFP. We got married when I was 21. If this relationship doesn't work out, I don't think I would ever get into another one, but I'm fully committed to seeing this one through to the end.
Make him dread
Aw. I'm an INFP considering dating an ISTP. And he's also the type to date for the loooong run. Makes me quite scared tbh
@@sharpiesarecool814 if you are not serious about dating them, don't. Making them emotionally vulnerable around you and then breaking up because you weren't even sure about the relationship in the first place, is just going to give them more issues than they might already have.
@@Sara-pj4sr I agree with you. I guess the reason I'm scared though wasn't clear. I have BPD so I'm generally anxious around the idea of relationships bc of my fear of abandonment. I am staying single specifically because I want to work on my symptoms and to one day be able to have healthy relations. I really do like him though. Even love him. But you are right. If I'm not ready to commit, it's best to keep my boundaries clear so I don't waste any of his time.
@@sharpiesarecool814
Ti Se Ni Fe
Te Si Ne Fi are his functions then...
Fi Ne Si Te
Fe Ni Se Ti are yours...
This means your worst function roughly speaking is Se...
Which is one of his favorites and key to his happiness.
While on the other hand Ne is his worst function, but key to your happiness.
That's not good for a couple to have that kind of balance (or lack thereof) make your sure y'all get creative if you want to go ahead with a relationship with eachother.
Look into the PolR function or Point of Least Resistance.
Don't be afraid though, go on with courage and passion, yet focused, planning ahead, playing to your strengths, etc.
I’m an INTP and currently single. I believe maybe one day I’ll find love but it’s hard for me to have a true connection with someone and no way am I going to be in a relationship I know won’t work out. I guess in a way I have high expectations but not when it comes to looks.
same. I haven't even decided yet if I'm looking for a partner or not
let's stick together. it's easier to find someone this way
I am INTP and I am married with an ESFJ guy and we have a INFP daughter.
Same - my dating career sucked. My high expectation was that I find a guy who is interested in having intellectual conversations with me and values my intelligence.
Now I’m voluntarily celibate. 😂
I’d rather be married to my brain.
Also an INTP, I think the other part that is that once you figure out common issues people have that get in the way of a successful relationship it becomes easier to see them in a new relationship. I'm way less likely to want to move forward if I can see someone with a similar problem I've already experienced with an ex or a friend. I think in general it's good that I want to take a partner that seriously, but I worry that perhaps I should be more willing to give people a chance to grow. I'm fully aware I'm not perfect - so why should they be. All the while, I am one to romanticize the idea of finding a compatible person to share that part of my life with, so I suppose I'll keep on looking and keep getting more picky haha
INTP and have been single for 7 years now. Honestly another relationship is the last thing on my mind.
The fewer people I have to deal with the better. People don't hold much of my interest as they used to.
15 years here--amen
We are both different INTPs cuz I'm an INTP that always wanted a relationship.
We are similar though, cuz like most people don't get me, like people that don't have your interests.
One of my closest friends is an INTP and he has not been in a relationship, or really made an effort to find one, in at least 15 years.
ENFJ here, married to an INTP. Your statement about INTP being willing to be taken care of - spot on. We’re 22 years in and still going strong. He is especially glad that he has a wife willing to do most of the human interaction things, but he’s also glad I’m a decent cook. :)
This makes me sooo happy to hear that you guys are 22 years in and still going strong!! :)
Do you often find him being on the submissive end? what are your main hobbies together? also, is he interested much in gaming? sorry for asking a lot but I'm an INTP myself and I wonder a lot about how INTP marriages turn out, especially if they're married to an extrovert.
@@Falcon-gl8ll there’s a lot to unpack here. As to submissive, I’d say we’re pretty equal. How we get our way may be different, but we work together well. Hobbies - we both like electronics, woodworking, leather working, those kinds of things. We both have a background in gaming (D&D-like role playing games), but he still plays and I just make dice bags. :) Most of the other INTPs we know are married to introverts, so I can only go by our experience. There are times when I want him to get mad about something along with me instead of playing devil’s advocate and exploring all possibilities. When it comes to big decisions, such as buying a car, I set him to the task of researching what our best option is, then I handle the talking part. It’s a great system. :)
@@mcmickey8824 That's a very healthy relationship, very healthy indeed. I myself understand the part about trying to get someone to unleash same emotions on a topic that annoys you or something, I think it requires an Se to be on standby for the INTP in order for him to react the way you want him to do(although it's hard, since INTPs are hardly biased, even in situations where that bias is just for fun). although, I can tell that he is spending more effort on exploring the topic as he sees you are emotionally irritated about it, INTPs do show their affection and care by doing such things. as for the decision part, you did a well done in making use of his ability to pick things wisely, I myself do that when I'm exploring electronics or such, I do wide-range research about any topic before beginning to choose, my turbulent side helps me a lot in that, unfortunately though, I'm unable to make use of any of that as my family are ESFX and ISFX types, our communication and understanding levels are in the negatives. by the way, are the INTPs who are married to introverts you talked about doing well in their relationships? I thought something like that would be incredibly hard to maintain as INTPs usually depend on an EXXX to fulfill the social side they never had. thanks in advance.
@@Falcon-gl8ll of the two main INTPs I mentioned, one
is married to an INFP, the other is married to a likely INTJ. In both cases, the INTP spouses have taken on a more extroverted role. INTP/INFP have been married for >10 years, INTP/INTJ >20 years. They seem happy to me. :)
INTP here. Haven't had many relationships, but my current one with my boyfriend (some E type) of 8 years is for the long haul. I think if something happened that made me single again, I would be very unlikely to enter another long-term relationship, and would stay single forever, which would be fine with me. (Though I would miss the "being looked after" aspect of INTPs, which is absolutely true for me.) The worst thing ever is casual dating; loathe it so much. Committed or single. No in-between. I don't have the patience or willpower to tolerate uncertainty.
Wdym by being looked after? Im planning on dating an INTP. I'm an ENFJ btw
@@aleeza3001 3:29 I remember him talking about this in more detail, but I don't remember which video it was. INTPs with our Si can be rather clumsy and out of touch with the physical world, so having someone who can compensate for that is really great for us.
@@space_pirate_calamity oh that's great. Because im very organized. Lol it will balance things out. Just wondering, are INTP men, masculine?
@@aleeza3001 I can tell that INTP women can be pretty masculine, lol. I guess we INTPs just never fit well into those masculine/feminine labels. We are unbothered by the visual side of that matter and have a rather weak physical presence. Also, in my case at least, Ne makes me open to any sexual/romantic options. It's all about intellectual side of the relationship.
@@aleeza3001 We are intelligent but childlike. In another video he explains that we enjoy the deeper thinking of aspects and a charm to keeping our options open within our minds. However, this also brings about the difficulty in actually coming to a consensus on what we've chosen to decide as a definitive answer/resolution., making us the cautious type especially if you are planning on pursuing an INTP.
We have in short, a lack of adulting tendencies within ourselves to be in accord and compared to some other-types as keeping time stamps or the need to be regimented to doing tasks we often aren't fond of doing or see as merely To-Do-Tasks of disinterest. Specifically we enjoy a certain physical care, or 'adult supervision'. Where we find it at times a chore to eat, clean, or keep daily routines. It's simply due to how we utilize our time to be enthralled or be preoccupied in thinking internally to a deeper depth than most would on average.
That said, we also enjoy the puzzle solving aspects of not just facts, logic or knowledge, but also the
common anomaly we see as these things called Feelings within other people as well as within ourselves. We will if interested in you, will analyse you to the very depths of your exterior, character, traits, advantages and will definitely see you first as what you bring to our side before ever getting messy with the feelings aspect of things.
And so, an INTP will give out a clear understanding of the options bluntly to someone willing to listen without really deciding on a final answer. There you may get the rare occasion of the INTP seeking you out first and giving you clear definitive rules of principle they earnestly want you to also embody if ever taking up their offer in a serious relationship. As the truth and honesty of logic is what we often find ourselves abiding by as rules, and principles in our speech, thoughts as well as critical analysis on situations in life. We would love to see another accept and try or even go as far as to embody those core principles alongside us in a rational and logical way. To get those pesky feelings out of there, of course until gradually over time, the INTP will share their inner feelings at their own pace.
We are also notorious for procrastination due to these traits and often take a laid back approach to the concept of 'time spent well/worthily', to a whole other extreme. Such trivial things like birthdays, or year round calendar celebrations aren't our forte and often times we just don't care about gifts, we'd much rather just someone to pick their brain about some convoluted theory they read on some random article of interest for a soiree.
That includes being one to pickup on different concepts and having many windows open while brainstorming different ideas and yet still merely being content in doing this learning process, with still nothing as a definitive result to show for it. Unlike the INTJ personality types or other Judging types. The INTP isn't driven to see actual results but merely the contentment they have in progressive learning and 'Eureka' moments of life, that offers them joy. Especially for the extroverted types out there, they can be the source of new material and new energizers that the INTP could compliment well in forming a romantic relationship.
I hope this was helpful. And thanks for reading the comment.^^
Im an Intj. It's rather rare and a slow process for me to get into relationships of any kind be it romantic or a friendship etc, but once I'm there I'm there to the bitter end. I'm extremely loyal and I do my best to show how much I care, and I never end a relationship without do everything to save it because if I'm in said relationship they've already been worked into my long term plans being at my side.
That makes a lot of sense to me based on what I’ve seen from INTJs I’ve known! ~ Nathan
Why am I actually kinda scared to watch this though….
Lol.. for real. I thought INTPs would be categorized under 'Most like to separate' and I was also scared to watch this.
I got called out within the first couple minutes, so-
"You can have the objectively best plan and strategy, and it still doesn't work out,"
Yep. Yep. Been there, done that.
- An ENTJ.
Lol what happened?
- Fellow ENTJ
@@OldSzkool probably a feeler type romance.
An INFP here. I'm in my late twenties but never have a relationship. I do have trust issue and also found out how difficult it is to keep a marriage from my parents (30 years); these things alone could encourage me to stay single forever. But the last half of this year got me realising that relationship should come as a part of my journey that gives a distinct character development, whether it ends up nicely or badly. Tbh I'm laughing myself at the fact that I still even doubt whether I can stay this positive at the end of the road, but I just have to believe in the process. Now it's up to finding the right person though, pandemic is not really that beneficial for this, but I believe there are something I can work on.
Hi! I'm a married INFP)) just wanted to encourage you 😊 having someone to love and be loved is the thing that fills the void. I can relate to your fears but we could as well give up on life itself, cause you know...sometimes it sucks. A family is what brings light and warmth into it. God bless!
@@Caledoniadream Hi there! Your comment somewhat soothes some of my doubts. Thank you so much for the words of affirmation, truly appreciate it! Really hope the best for you and your family! God bless you too ^^
Both of you are sooo freaken adorable! This is one of the sweetest exchanges I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing, in this crazy internet🥰I love INFPs so much. My first born girl is INFP, btw. I’m not JUST a crazy lady commenting😅
I'm an INTJ married to an ENTJ for fifteen years now. We have the same goals and values and are like a mad scientist/evil overlord duo. I have an online INFJ friend who comes in VERY handy for asking why the peasants keep getting upset with us so that we can stay just shy of having them revolt against us. For any overlords/mad scientist duos out there...get. Yourself. An. INFJ. They are invaluable.
valuable or invaluable?
Puedo ser el infj de un dúo malvado si quieren, yo solo digo xd
What if the INFJ is also a mad scientist overlord type somehow?🧐
@@labaccident2010 Then we're all doomed! INFJ's can be scary! LOL! INTJ's thinking they're at the top of the dastardly deed food chain rubbing our hands together watching everything going according to plan and trying to decide when to unleash our 'muahahaha'...and then we glance to the side and there's a bored INFJ just standing there staring at us like, "Whatcha doin'?" And we're like, "BWAGH! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!" And they're like, "Hmmm...interesting...." And write something in a notebook.
@@StarlingCraftyghoul this accurately depicts me half the time. I do tend to sneak up on people. 🧐
40 yr old INTJ here. I have always taken the success of relationships personally. If they fail, it reflects badly on me, so I fought to keep relationships going. But, once I decided the relationship was over, I could not be swayed. I don't date, the idea of meeting someone for small talk, and it not turning into an interrogation gives me anxiety. More recently I had a cute hair stylist who was so enamored with me that she forgot to put the sheet on me, and just started cutting my hair, I had to ask for it, then she started tripping over herself. Did I hit on her? Nope. I was my normal stoic self, and pretended like I didn't even notice her awkwardness. Just the thought of asking her on a date, and having to try and plan out conversations to prevent awkward silence without resorting philosophical questions is giving me anxiety just sitting here. Even in my worst relationship, never have I ever considered a threesome, or cheating on my partner. If I am happy in a relationship, I stop seeing other Women as potential partners. I have learned to stop telling Women that because they look at me like I am crazy, and begin to test me in ways I do not like.
I have no idea why women look at you like you’re crazy for saying that. I’d love to hear that! Wtf? -intj female
@@LilacSnowBun I took from it that most guys can't stop looking, like in the movies. I did it in this instance because I am glacial in my decision making. I still hadn't made a decision about her long term potential, when I noticed that I could interact with Women without that undercurrent of sexuality. I was dumbstruck by it, and wanted to share that I was happy with her. I did not anticipate her reaction. (We were living together at the time.)
I know that you mean about 'interrogation' and 'testing' stuff, and I've never even been in a relationship before.
It really is the worst.
Wait...women look at you like you are crazy for that??? That's just...sad.
I am the same way. I'm with someone so there are no other potential partners. The end.
-INTJ Female.
@@shayelisa Same. ☺️
I knew that INTPs gonna be in the single forever category. Oh, well
Blue balls for life
@@vitamingummies7472 lmao
My brother in law is an INTP and one of my best friends is a dating a lovely female INTP and they're pretty much engaged 😁 you just need someone that appreciates your chill open intellect
Me(INTP) and my friend (ISTP) looking at each other and laughing while watching the video
I’m an ISTP and I’m not sure if I’m unique in this or not but I think that I wii either likely get married or stay single forever without any in between. Mainly cause I see no use in casual relationships that provide nothing so I’d rather be alone or in a strongly committed relationship.
casual relationships will drain so much energy imo -istp
Nice. I found my ISTP gang 👍
INFJ here and pretty much the same. I'm good on my own and will not settle for someone I dnt see myself longterm with. I dnt do casual dating, no point and draining. I will give my all, give it my best shot, when I meet the right person, but if/when it ends, I will have no problem with spending the next 10 yrs or a life alone, it's just better than in bad company. 🤷♀️
ISTP here, I agree
Istp see right thru the bs many marriages are-a sham/business/or miserable. Very few have genuine love.
I am an ISTP quite happily married to an INTP (I Think, or possibly INFP). I enjoy demonstrating my loving care in practical ways; and she likes being cared for. Also, I really like having an intelligent partner; and she likes having a practical partner.
BUT; we were life long friends before we go married; so we KNEW Who we were getting!
🤩💕😍💕😎
So, that's interesting. I'm an ENFP and it's funny to think that when I was young almost all of my childhood friends dreamed of getting married. But me, I've never even actually thought about it until much much later in life, and still the thought is just a blur. I've never been in a relationship either, maybe the freedom thing has to do with it but it's also cause my intuition is just too damn good. I won't start a relationship with someone I know for a fact I would not want to spend much time with in the long run cause I know I get bored a lot, so I decide to spare myself and other people from the emotional damage. I believed I would never find someone that actually intrigues me and my intuition just tells me is right for a long time, but I believe it now :)
I‘m an ENFJ and even though I would like to get married sometimes, I don‘t know if I will ever find a partner. I also haven‘t really been in a relationship with anyone yet since my intuition told me that the relationship I could have had wouldn‘t have lasted very long and I don‘t want to commit to anything that I know is doomed to fail.
I am an ENFP and have the same experience as you. Interesting
@@flusel4949 I love ENFJs so so so much. You guys are some of the most intelligent people I've ever met. You all have emotional, academic, spiritual and social intelligence in a way I could only dream of. I'm lucky to have a few ENFJ close friends and what I say to you is PLEASE protect your heart. You're wayyyyyy too precious to give it to just anyone. Especially because you guys have such a big heart, you're so deserving of love and happiness! Accept nothing less than the wonderful things you're meant to accept.
@@sheldonacrumb824 It will happen to you when the time is right! There's a reason I've said I believe it now 😉 (still haven't been in a relationship, but i've experienced something, let's say that hahaha) . You're deserving of all the love on this planet and never forget how beautiful you can make someone's life be, just by being you. You have the gift of joy, a joy and wonder for the world that few people have access to. You deserve someone that makes your life happier than it already is, cause that's what you do for everyone daily.
@@ninaportoc Thank you so much! I sadly don‘t know any ENFJs beside myself, but it‘s good to know that we are also appreciated for our (different kinds of) intelligence as well as our heart. Your words meant a lot! And I love you ENFPs so much as well! A few of my best friends are ENFPs and they are some of the kindest, most creative and fun people I know! You also have a unique kind of intelligence and so many other character traits that are definitely not appreciated enough!
I find that as an ISTP I was pretty careful about selecting a mate. Fortunately he is also an introvert (ISTJ) and very stable, which balances my emotional moments. His Ne is creative and fun and his Si is great for the long-term planning needed for vacations and adventures. I strongly believe that my Ne blind spot has a lot to do with why, even during very frustrating times, I have stayed put. A detached, intellectual, realistic, dedicated approach has helped a lot as well. Staying the course has paid off. Been together 34 years. (ISTP)
I agree. My dad's the ISTP and he's married to my ISFJ mother. Whilst my mother may not be the most intellectually stimulating, she's very sincere and hardworking and stable, and she gives a lot of space to my dad, and I know my dad appreciates that a lot (He has my sister and I for the more philosophical, intellectual convos haha). His inferior Fe, and her aux Fe initially clashed, and they got into arguments because my dad couldn't read social cues well, and was kinda inappropriate at times, and my mum was being sensitive, and felt that she couldn't understand him; being S types, they saw things more at face value, but they learn't and are now happily married and growing even more stronger for 23 years now.
I’m an INFJ and I lived my younger life thinking oh yes I’m gonna get married have kids this is some that will happen in a very far future I don’t need to worry about it now.
Then you’re in your twenties and it’s okay you’re still young worry about that later right now focus on your career, yourself, your growth.
And then boom I’m 28 I’m worried it’s not that I want a partner it’s seeing people getting married and you are like no man I still want my independence!
It’s tough but every time I think of the idea of me sharing my life with someone I wish I could run away and hide I don’t want that life. I’m too private. Too independent. Too tired of people.
I relate to this 100%
Don't care for the life script and love my life too much to sacrifice it
I thought I was the only one who desperately wants a relationship but panics the minute someone shows interest.
@@laurelmalinowski1676 that’s totally me too! I’m glad I’m not the only one 🤣
I am an ISTJ and my husband is an ISTP. We have been together for 10+ years. The reason we work so well together is because I organize the house around him and if I ask him to help me, he does. Then he has an idea to do something and he enjoys the fact that I will plan the entire thing for him so it goes well. We have the same long term goals for our life. Outside of these things we leave each other alone most of the time. I have learned that for a relationship to work with an ISTP, I just need to leave him alone. If he needs something he will ask it if me.
3:28 INTP's are cats. I'm pretty sure that's what he just said. 🐈
Cats without claws but we do hiss
@@louisejoel hissing is accepted
INFJ, got married to ENFJ who was divorced from his previous marriage.
For a while I thought I wouldn't get married bc I'd be happier single than with the wrong person, but it worked out.
INFJ here, happily married to an adorable ISFP, going on nine years now 💖 (first ever love & relationship)
I’m an ENTJ married for 9 years to an ENTP. I can honestly say we’re still falling in love, but we consistently work very hard to be our best selves and to support growth in our relationship. I believe all human relationships experience different ‘seasons’ - we’ve had a few ‘winters’ in this marriage. But it’s been incredibly fulfilling to grow together over time. One thing I’ve learned is how differently various personalities present when we’re healthy vs unhealthy. We each contribute strengths and experience challenges based on our own health or growth as people. As a relatively healthy ENTJ, I’m very dedicated and loyal - cultivating a strong partnership is a primary achievement or life goal of mine. When I’m less healthy, I become more selfish and begin to view everything through the lens of a zero-sum game. But when I’m healthier, I’m in a better state to identify the value of our different strengths and how our differences might enrich my life. For example, ENTP inspires my own adventurous spirit and compliments my growth mindset challenging me to become a better person. But I can lose sight of this or sometimes take it for granted. Just a few thoughts I wanted to share…
Do yall conquer the world together like go to clubs or big events, travel, ?
As an INFP, I agree on the Married assessment but not as much on the Divorced one.
First, I disagree about Fi-doms being uncompromising. I can be very good at compromising with people, especially those I love, and I've even changed/adapted things about myself - not fundamental nature things but like, behavioral things, or opening my mind to different things - for people I've loved of my own free will. What I'm uncompromising about is being free and self-determined and not violating my nature or what's in my heart - and I would never be with someone who suppressed my nature or tried to change me. Nor would I ever settle for anyone other than the person I'm convinced is right for me, knowing we have a deep, unbreakable connection and fundamental compatibility. My analysis for my type is basically the same as yours for INTPs: I am so careful about only getting into a relationship with the Right person that it's highly unlikely that that relationship (marriage especially) wouldn't work out. And there is the ultracommitment thing too.
Second, regarding the changing nature of INFPs: I feel like this might go more for INFPs who haven't fully figured themselves out yet. The journey of self-discovery is something that for some INFPs, like myself, is largely concentrated in a short and intense burst, ideally early in life, and for others may be spread out over several decades. I've been so clear on who I fundamentally am and what I fundamentally want out of life for years, I could never see myself undergoing a drastic change that would suddenly make me incompatible with someone I've been fundamentally compatible with for years. Sure, there is still some gradual growth and evolution, and there is forever self-cultivation and self-improvement, but the core of it all is very stable. I got my major crises and upendings over with early. It's pretty smooth sailing now.
I do feel it is so important to know who we really are and what we really want before getting into relationships. For me personally, even that is not enough: I have to not only know myself but also then cultivate myself into the best version of myself, and get my life in order, before I really feel ready to share myself with people. And that is a process that is still ongoing.
INFP, second all this.
In some regards I admit I can be uncompromising, as an INFP, and that's part of why I would rather not get married in the first place (being asexual and not wanting children is the other). I'm very territorial, and tend to not like interference with what I want to do. There would also need to be a VERY high compatibility on values and such. I know myself well enough to know I have these traits and that they are not very compatible with marriage, so I think it's better to recognize that and not get into a relationship on what would to my mind be false pretenses. That would neither be respectful to potential boyfriends, nor to myself.
@@nerysghemor5781 Yeah, it's definitely good to be honest with yourself about whether or not you're suited for a relationship. I too have some strong values and personal preferences - that's part of why I'm very picky and cautious about who I get into relationships with - but in my experience, it is possible to find someone who aligns with that. Plus, love is pretty high on my values list. :)
I think it depends on the type of INFP you are. I (INFP) could see myself getting a divorce if I ever got married. I know this based on a couple of very close friendships that ended. These were deep, wonderful relationships while they lasted. I fought to stay friends as I'm loyal to a fault, but it became clear that the relationships couldn't be sustained. It broke my heart, but we severed the relationships. It was for the best and I'm grateful for what those friendships brought to my life. As these friendships were in different times of my life, I know it wasn't just how I acted during a phase. There's a line and if it's crossed, it's over. If we were married, I'd divorce them. One thing I learned is that you can't control another person. There's no guarantee that they won't change or you won't.
My ideal is a forever person who would not be chosen lightly because, like you, it's such a deep process for me, however, I'm only human. I mean, I'm in my 30s and in a transition period with myself. The type of person I would have thought perfect and married in my 20s wouldn't fit at all with me now. Either they'd have to transition with me (which isn't fair if that's not where they're at), or get to know and love the now me (who they may not like as they fell in love with the old me), or we'd need to end it so we could both live our best lives. Maybe I'm just getting old. I'm realizing life doesn't have to live up to my ideals. That endings, though painful, are good as they lead to beginnings. That I'm MISERABLE when I keep fighting for something/one that's run its course! And I'm strong enough to let go if it comes to that.
@@sharnisestreaty9286 Right. Nothing's impossible, and it's not that I can't see it possibly happening. I too will let a relationship go if it has truly run its course, or a certain line gets crossed in a way I couldn't have predicted. But I was, like the video, just talking relative likelihood - in which case, I do think the likes of me (which may well not be all INFPs) belong in the 'unlikely' tier.
ENFP got married to an ISTJ. He couldn’t handle me. He always felt I was “too much” in my bubbly self. I would say I’m quite stable compared to other ENFPs I know. And my values of loyalty and need for consistency are quite high. Anyways, after 4 months of marriage he decided to go to med school (after already being a pilot) and marriage to him got in the way. So he divorced me. I was devastated and sought counseling for 5 years. So sometimes stereotypes are blown up due to values, background, family upbringing, childhood issues. These “types” are generalities. They don’t describe any one person.
Gracias por contar tu experiencia, a veces tendemos a encasillarnos en una idea
Good for you that you both seperated , you will find someone who will truly love you another enfp
@@chaitanyajain3127 I'm an ENFP and I'm looking for a fellow ENFP for marriage. I've decided that since I make good money we can just hire an assistant to handle the difficult, mundane aspects of life and live freely together :)
Hit straight home. We ENFPs fall hard and yes, we could be too much. But am here to tell you to hold on a little and give yourself a chance again
ISTP male (35), here. Single. As an outsider looking in, it just seems to me that relationships are in a state of flux, right now. We all know the old roles, but we live in an era where neither party wants to do them. The old model is broken, but no one knows what the next (that works) will be. So, to me, pulling the trigger on a modern relationship seems like a roll of the dice.
For me, my Autonomy has always been my most cherished possession. If I'm going to give that up to protect/provide, then the benefits of winning a dice roll, better be worth the risk. With the state of flux and the high failure rate of "modern" relationships, that bet at 35 gets harder and harder to make.
Will I ever find a partner that makes me want to role the dice? No Idea. Am I good as an ISTP if I don't? You betcha.
Cheers.
ISTP male (38), here. This is weird. I could have copied and pasted your comment and used it as my own. I've thought this same thing for a while and I'm in the same state in my life.
@@ericmata3728 Cheers, man. I know one other ISTP IRL in the same boat. Wouldn't surprise me if Its a common ISTP thing.
My main problem these days is what to do to pass all the extra time. 1st world problems, I guess.
Hope all is well.
Tbh I (an ENFP) have no idea how my marriage to my ISTP husband has managed to last so long. Maybe that's the key, it continues to be a mystery that I can't solve!
I'm thinking he enjoys fixing all your chaos monkeying.
-ISTP
He's good in the bedroom?
How long have you two been married for?
@@RM-ti8nf yeah
@@fedup1606 My dad's an ISTP, and I'm an INFP and I have my own chaos. My sister aptly articulated myself as being "chaotically stable." Dad stills thinks I'm the greatest mystery of mankind lol
INTP. I could be in a committed relationship. Just gotta find someone who's cool with not touching me ever. Being a gamer is also a requirement.
Hahaha! Yeah... my ex wouldn't let me play videogames. (INTP btw)
Very interesting. I think the right person would convince you otherwise about the touching or being a gamer as a requirement. You may say this now only because you probably haven't experienced it but if you find someone who you really like, there's a possibility your stance could change.
I say this because I remember my INTP husband would tell me certain things early on in our relationship and I would just say "okay", but told him I think he'd change his mind. Later as the relationship progressed, his mind changed.
INFP happily married to an ISTJ here (6 years in relationship, 2 years married). I agree that INFP's aren't as likely to get married as some other types, as it's often difficult to find a partner matching our values and high standards. And I agree, that when we find such a person, we become ultra commited and that person becomes kinda a part of us. But that's precisely why I would put us in "unlikely" category when it comes to divorce. Don't get me wrong, the relationship issues that you mention we may have are correct, but they appear at a way, way earlier stage of a relationship than marriage. When we marry, it's usually when we found a person that I mentioned at the begining, that works with us and we became ultra commited to them. And when you're ultra commited, a chance of divorce is smaller. Besides, even when, as you mentioned, we may wake up one day and feel different about ourselves and our life, there's one thing that is very permanent for us - our value system, due to Fi being our top function. When our value system is developed, it's not easily changed. And marriage usually comes at a later stage of relationship, after a few years, when our relationship and our partner are already integrated into our value system. So although we may easily suddenly (out of the blue even) feel unsatisfied with our relationship at it's earlier stages, after a few years, when we become fully commited, it's not very likely.
As an ISFP, I agree with you 100%
As an INFP, I get very attached to my person and sentimental about the relationship. I do look at other possibilities and naturally have this grass is greener mentality at times but over time I get more attached and it’s hard to see myself pulling the trigger(poor choice of words). I’ll always feel this slight push and pull but with a combo of Fi/Ne/Si it’s easy to see why. Fi causes me to look for an ideal and this can cause me to either overlook flaws or focus on them. It’s frustrating.
If there's a short answer to your predicament, it'd be your Te not working hard enough or have little say in your psyche. INFPs with stronger Te often would appear more cynical & vindictive, yet other than being more grounded & structured, the biggest reward would be the sensitivity to flaws & the compulsion to get them sorted out, before we decide if the good & beautiful in whatever is worth our time.
Me and my bro are INTP and ISTP, I guess the bloodline ends here...
INFP and single. Granted I'm asexual so that also disinclines me towards marriage. I'm also highly territorial, like my alone time, and don't like impositions on my schedule, so I think being single works out best for me anyway. XD
Eeyy comrade
As an INFP I used to love the idea of falling in love, so much so I fantasize every single bit about it (how I'll meet my s/o, how I'll treat him, or even the wedding) but as I grow up I slowly lose interest that I dont even bother anymore!
1. When I was younger my parents always discourage me from watching fantasy films about love story, they even get mad when I giggle over a sweet scene. They discourage me from befrending boys and anyone who ever dare look in my way, my parents would jump in and give me an hour lecture why that's unnacceptable. Whenever I have a crush, they would exaggerate it like the guy got me pregnant!
2. All my aunts and uncles either have bad marriages or bad matches. The way my family/relatives treat the outsiders is horrible and toxic! They would do anything to push you to be with the person they selected for you, if you dont abide with that, there'll be a life long tension. It scares the hell out of me and made me lose hope of a true-love.
3. They often bad mouth boys. Seriously. They're always like "boys only like sex, boys are immature, boys only want thrilling relationships" so on...
4. Lastly, I realized no one likes broken things. I have several mental disorders and childhood trauma which affected my overall self.
All these contributed from me being a fantasizer of true love to someone who doesn't believe on it anymore. I'd rather be on my own, enjoy my own company without worrying about what others would think. And I can say I'm satisfied. Sorry bout the long rant!
Let's keep hoping together 💕hug💕
Oh shit I sort of have thought that I wrote that comment and forgot about it but I don't write down my thoughts that perfect...the same story in details even my family .. Are u me in another universe 😅
it really sucks hard when the ones supposedly symbolising love in various forns are actually the ones destroying all perceptions of love. and then expect you to find it. clown world we live in
Hit home. Families be the same here
Married once for the wrong reason... thinking he can change. I saw so much potential. Divorced because of same reason. Narcissists don't really love you and nothing can really change them...no matter how much you love them.
Mine was mentally and emotionally abusive. I will say I didn't want a divorce because I meant my vows. It tore me apart.
INFP
That is really sad, we are brainwashed to think we are the ones who can/will fix broken men
"Women marry men hoping they will change, men marry women hoping they'll stay the same."
Reality is a bitch.
I'm an INFP that hasn't been married, but in my last relationship when I said I would never give up on him I meant it with all my heart. Things got so bad that I was choosing him over my well-being but I still stayed for far longer than I should have. It felt like I was tearing out a part of myself when I left but it felt nice to be free again.
@@crystaleunoia3974 I did feel the freedom afterwards.
ISTP here. Already in the phase of wanting to be single forever and not minding it at all. I do get crushes but not enough interest to pursue because relationship is a hassle, where I don't think it's just making an effort with that person but with his friends, family & circle, too much new people to be acquainted for me. When I was in a relationship, all I could think of was how one day we'll break up (no wonder I'm most likely to "divorce"), and I'll get stressed out when we make actual steps to get married. I bailed after the 4th year.
I totally get you. I have a very similar approach, especially when it comes to the hassle and the people "around" the relationship. I don't mind meeting those people but I don't like it when I don't get along with them. Then I perceive the core relationship as somewhat tainted. And I certainly don't like doing literally everything together and stressing "me and my boyfriend did this and that". We're two separate people after all. I don't consider it strange for my type as INFJs are said to be quite detached in many matters.
@@PriHL yess! I have a friend who has issues with her husband's whole family (they gaslight her like hell), but she has to be nice. Thankfully her husband never sides with them since he knows they're toxic.
I wouldn't be able to live like that. No amount of love can make me accept that baggage (nor do I want to force him to accept mine). It really is an "it's not you, it's me" issue.
@@MichelleSudarsono Absolutely. If I were to be stuck in toxic circumstances like that, I'd rather give up the relationship because it's going to be hell like this forever.
@@MichelleSudarsono I don't think she 'has to be nice' any more than they do. And I think the most reasonable thing in a situation like that is to not be forced to deal with the toxic family. I would never judge or disqualify someone as a partner (or friend) based on their family - and I certainly wouldn't want that done to me. But I sure wouldn't want to get dragged into any toxicity. Nor would I ever drag anyone into my own family's toxicity. Unless you live in a super-traditional environment where you feel stuck, or lack mental strength/empowerment, you can set whatever boundaries you feel the need to with your family as an adult. And I think if you really love and care about someone, you should do that for them.
@@Multitudes_ Definitely! If you can make that effort for someone, go for it! If you think you've found the one and is willing to hold on to them, more power to you!
I unfortunately, never allow myself to "really love & care about someone" (romantically). Simply because I'm too afraid of the unknown. Call me a coward, call me a pessimist. It might sound lonely to some, but it does give me a peace of mind...being single. But I'm lucky since I do have a friend that I can open up to and a close family member. I think those relationships replace the need for a connection with a romantic interest.
i married my first and only boyfriend, who i met when i was 15 ^^' we've been together for 14 years. i am an infj, he is an entj
I am an INTP married to INFJ. Very happy 😊
I am an INFJ and my fiancé is an INTJ. I agree with the grouping for divorce and what was said. We both work hard to maintain our relationship and create our ideal future together but we have our own different areas of focus that make it work. I think we balance each other. I inspire ideas and he makes those ideas a reality. Plus I take care of him when he won’t take care of himself.
I think we are both people who don’t commit in relationships until we are sure we see a future in them.
I'm an INFP happily married to an INTP (7 years and counting, plus 4 in a relationship before that)… must admit though, up until we met both himself and everyone around him thought it was an unlikely scenario.
Mid forties INTP here, going through a divorce. Relationship lasted 18 years. Currently doing my best to avoid falling for either of the two women that have been supporting me emotionally. after a suicide attempt. Sorry, that was a lot to blurt out.
Good luck on your healing and stay safe.
Damn. Get better
ENTPs likely to get married? Not really, given that many of us thinks marriage is an archaic institution and effectively nothing more than a glorified economic contract with the government.
Agree completely
Type is not all you are.
Actually ENTJs are some of the most loyal people i know
Ahhh finally someone saying something good about ENTJ's. I consider loyalty to be even more important than love.
Oh wow... The ENTJ's I know are 1/2 and 1/2... Some seem really unhappy though cause they are constantly striving for more which shows their dissatisfaction in their partners. But glad to hear the ENTJ's in your life are the most loyal ones you know.
My reaction as well. My husband is an ENTJ and he’s extremely loyal. I could never imagine him any other way.
ENTJs are so loyal that it is sometimes hard to believe it is true, lol. But really, they deserve more good word. They are willing to do a lot for their partner once settled. Luckily they do not try the impossible and always take a rational approach to the problem but I am still slightly worried they could be manipulated in a really bad way without noticing it (not just in a relationship, they are also pretty loyal with their friends).
- INTP happily in a relationship with ENTJ
Gee, I didn't need to be called out like this I've been single for 3 years lol. I'm an ENTP based on my function stack but I'm more introverted socially, at least recently. I know lots of people who always gets into relationship without having much time in between, and there's me. I like being independent and go on my own but sometimes it can feel lonely.
Maybe we ENTPs are made to be in multiple relationships one after another. Larry Ellison, I believe is an ENTP(I could be wrong), I aspire to be like him.
as a female entp living in an Asian country. this will be even harder for me because I see potential everywhere, but get bored super fast once I figure someone out and can't see myself being with them 😶
It's hard bc it's rare for me to meet sb who's interesting enough. Someone to have very engaging and free intellectual discussions with. But who's not an extreme homebody either (like INTPs tend to be). And then there's that it takes me months to warm up to someone even if this is working. Because once I get attached I'm vulnerable to this person exploiting the Fe child devotion. :"C
ISTP female got married at 18 to an INTJ male, I left and was divorced by 22. had a few relationships since then, notably with ENTP and ISFJ, but I found it hard to ever be as invested as I was the first time around, and even when I was married I still thought of my future alone. I'm just happy by myself is all, and people are a lot of effort.
With INFP at sometimes married and sometimes divorced as well as being more likely to be single than Extroverts, my odds aren't looking great 😅 Guess I'll just stick to the INFP hopeless romantic stereotype 😂
As an INTP ... Who is single and has never dated ... I think it's very easy to stay single forever just from indecision.
Hits home. I have an INTP friend who is 40+ and still unmarried
INTJ here seeing this as I'm going through a divorce from my INFJ husband of 11 years. Not on bad terms. We've definitely grown apart and have different end game goals. He wants to be alone in Alaska because he's awoken on an extremely spiritual level. Not religion related. I've discovered my true self and are very self aware and driven.
With that being said, he doesn't want to ever date again and I don't believe anyone would be worth the effort to try and deal with. So we'll be in single forever lol 😭🙃
Three of the types I typically type as - are most probable to be single forever.
Nice
I've got only and each of IT-types as my results. I'm not surprised, just disappointed.
as someone who only gets intp and istp on my tests im fucking mad with this,but i can kinda understand it.
ENFJ here. I never questioned the fact that I wanted to be married, and the sooner the better (provided the right circumstances). It was a natural masterpiece for my psychology: taking this one relationship to its highest potential over the course of a lifetime. I also wanted someone to balance and ground me. Thankfully I was granted all these blessings: 15 years very happily married to an INTJ.
Oooo that’s interesting could you tell me more abt it if you don’t mind?
@@vanbi9430 sure thing! What aspect, in particular, piques your curiosity? The concept of my seeing a marriage as a masterpiece? Or my particular (admittedly somewhat odd couple-ish) marriage itself?
Also an ENFJ married to an INTJ!
@@YellaSpiceFamily the particular marriage itself
Very similar here but ENFJ married to INTP - we met and started dating at 16, been together almost 3 decades, dated for 10 before marriage.
since i'm quite late to comment, i bet this comment will go unnoticed lol well, i'm an enfp. i got married at a rather young age to my intj husband. still with him. 9 years and counting. had our 1st kid in 2019, and we're expecting another (due next month!).
I remember my ENFP best friend at high school spending time planning her wedding and me thinking I couldn't think of anything worse than having an entire day of people watching me (INFP). I have never been married and don't ever plan to get married. Of course, the fact that my ENTJ mother went through 3 failed marriages probably also hasn't helped. I am in a long term relationship but won't be getting married.
INTJ. Knew I did not want children by late teens and really had zero interest in marriage at all, ever. Being hyper observant, just watching interactions and reading between the lines at the social gatherings you'd get dragged along to, it was blatantly obvious. My standards are, by all current social norms, completely insane. Valuing integrity, honesty, truthfulness and enjoying learning, taking care of yourself, reading, exercising make it virtually impossible. I fully realize it and it doesn't bother me one bit. Extremely happy being able to just do as I please, work on goals, small projects, reading/researching/investing. I cannot do small-talk, at all. I need ideas, plans, thoughts, logical reasoning, etc. I don't know which type of (E)xtrovert female personality I do get along with, but it's whichever one is highly destructive. They'll be playing whatever game(s) they use on guys, think they're doing great for a quick minute and, then, once they figure out I'm just playing along with no intentions whatsoever, usually just get angry, etc. The sarcasm and quick witted interactions/responses come easily, but they're almost always, without fail... well, lets just say not having any qualities that I'd look for in a partner - to keep it kind. I'll sometimes tell them "I don't date" and they're completely lost. I'm in pretty darn good shape, exercise daily, look good and have done well. I have no issues whatsoever getting attention. None. But, I just really don't care. I easily manage to eliminate 99.999% within a second or two just from appearance, mannerisms, behaviors, tone of voice or other things. Thankfully, I've been extremely happy with peace, quiet and freedom and don't concern myself with any of it.
I'm an infj and very picky. I don't think I've ever disqualified someone bc of the tone of their voice. But I have thought 'i wd hate to have to listen to that person's voice the rest of my life,' so maybe I can see where you're coming from.
haha maybe im not the only one seking for talented voice actor level of voice usage :D
You definitely sound like my INTJ hubby. It is good you know your standards and stick by them; such will protect your peace, long-term. Before me, an attractive ENFP was drawn to him, and he was tempted because she is intelligent, beautiful, and an artist. But, circumstances prevented their being together. Interestingly, I was her confidante for a while and am thankful they didn't get together, for his sake. She continually complained about her successful boyfriend spending more time with his projects and business than with her when he'd take her along to enjoy the location of his business trips. My hubby would have seen her as high maintenance and needy. She would have seen him as uncaring and would have responded by becoming harsh and grating toward everyone in their lives. That said, if you ever do want a companion for life, there are good ones out there. They just need to be pretty focused on others, I think, so they can see you for who you are and why you do what you do. You need to shun needy and keep an eye out for autonomous and loving, from what I have experienced by the side of my INTJ.
"Nonsense can be quite a... detrimental thing in relationships." 😆 never a truer statement
As an INTJ I found my special ENTP :)
My favorite pairing. I love watching ENTPs and INTJs interact (in any relationship dynamic)
🥳🥳
Me ENTP my man INTJ
When it’s good, it’s very very good but when it’s bad it’s rotten….
@@IdonthaveatwittersoFoff. the question then would be what the ratio is between the good and bad
@@TonyDaExpert that’s why we still go strong after 16yrs….the good outweighs the bad 👍😎
My wish is to spend eternity being immortal (i'm aware this might sound torturous for many) but just so I may explore every far-flung region of the universe with my romantic partner....so I sure as hell hope we don't get divorced in the process out in space
Wait, I kind of agree xD
@@infinitelogicmachine8587 I'm more interested in your type :)
(edit: I mean your mbti type lol i just realised it kinda sounds different from what I was getting at)
Yeah i think being immortal or living for a very long time would be very interesting.
You didn't wish for your partner to be immortal aswell.
@@CloakedJester Because hauling the human corpse of your loved one through the universe for eternity sounds sooooo exciting (lol nah, said partner needs to share my immortality ofc 🙂)
I'm a young adult INFP. One of my biggest fears is not finding an ideal partner and having to spend my life alone.
Me too but I'm almost fifty
Me too and I am 40
(Btw no, I'm not afraid)
INFP here, my advice is learn to do what makes your spirit shine. Find meaningful things to do and learn about and create, and know that you'll be fine alone because you are self-sufficient! Then you'll never be desperate and waste yourself on a douchebag because you thought you needed him/her. It's ALWAYS better to be alone than with someone who crushes your spirit.
SAME I'm confused at to whether I'm an INFP or INFJ
I used to fear that but now it's a happy reality, during quarantine I realized I want to be single for life
Nice analysis. I’m an ISTP who’s married but never really set out to be…mostly because I didn’t want my life to be controlled by anyone else. It took a long time for my would-be wife to convince me that she wouldn’t try to force me into anything. For me, any relationship where I have no choice is untenable. I got lucky and met the right woman (ISFP btw…she understands the need for autonomy) or I’d probably be unmarried today 🤷🏾♂️
ISTP here with an ISFP partner. I love that he's solid as a rock but also not pushy or clingy. He loves freedom almost as much as I do.
Yup, my ideal type an ISTP🥰 - says the ISFP
I’m an ENTJ woman married to an ISFJ man. We’ve been married almost 17 years. While it took us a while to figure it out, we have a relationship that works for us and we love each other dearly.
I’m INFJ and have been married to my INTP for 25 years. We’ve had some big bumps, but worked through.
Being together so long has definitely forced us to grow our lower functions and to use our upper functions more correctly.
I do love our conversations on culture and philosophy.
May i ask. Are you a woman married to an INTP? Or are you a guy married to an INTP?
I'm really glad to hear you say that. I'm also an INFJ (female) married to an INTP (male). We've been together nine years and you've given me hope that we'll stay that way 😉.
Since you were curious and wanted us to comment - INTJ 39 years old - 13 year relationship, 6 year relationship, 2 year relationship, currently hitting 1 year with an ISTJ. Married and divorced once, engaged 3 times. I did run those relationships into the ground trying to save them and I appear to stay in long term relationships honestly much longer than I should. This one is great though. Hardly any conflicts.
ENFJ married to my INTP for one year! It's pretty tough I'll be honest with you. He's a very skeptical person and although I do feel that he thought this through with our relationship before getting married, he still has some thoughts on his mind that really test us. I am his first relationship, whereas I have been in 4 other long-lasting relationships... It does worry me that both ENFJ's and INTP's are under the "Sometimes" in the Divorce section....
Also, very random but my husband never went out to find anyone. I just happen to be one of those extroverts who adopted him while i was pet sitting for a friend of mine. Hehe... :)
Meditate don't be dependent on him for your happiness, read power of now excellent book for being happy , also why do people be in a relationship when it is tough, why not be with someone with whom the relationship is loving, caring and easy going
As an INTP I don't know if I should be happy about this
Do I need to remind you that we tied for first place in the last category? 🥇✨🎈🎉🎊
INTP has been married on ESTJ for 17 years. Technically still married, but we broke up last summer. And I am so far from the idea of starting a new relationship now. But still never met an ENTJ lol.
my mom is ESTJ and they have huge superiority complex. no matter how smart I am, she will find a reason to scold me. on an equal level it might work, but nobody is perfect anyway. Young ESTJ will for sure have Fi problems.
I am an ENTJ and I ended up married young. I did not enjoy the restrictions and responsibilities needed for this. My wife and ISTJ really helped me work through my issues and we were able to work through our rocky patches. We are still married 12 years later.
As an ENTJ, I see myself as a traditional man when it comes to dating or being with someone because my parents have been married for 35+ years. So, the concept of nuclear family is something that I strongly relate to. I will make it so that I move in a strategic way to make a relationship work, meaning foreseeing the upsides and the downsides and everything else that could happen and how to act if something bad would happen. I hate ''going with the flow''.
As fellow ENTJ, I appreciate the traditional structures of classical relationships as well, but my life experience has given me the lessons to see both the value and risk of the intimate relationship.
It'll take a very specific person to entice me into a partnership, but without that option, I'm left to finding others who I find useful towards my growth without the dedication often found in intimacy based relations.
It's a difficult age we live in. Humans need one another to survive.
ENTJ woman here. I also see myself as very traditional, and I want a traditional dynamic in my relationships. I aspire to being feminine, and I want a husband who I can look up to and trust to be the leader. Having such a "hard" personality type, though, makes this difficult, because I find that most people are significantly "softer" than I am, and I want to be able to be the soft one in a partnership.
INTJ- I am planning on staying single forever I feel that people are just an obstacle for me and will make not want to meet my goals
I'm an ENFJ and so far I've never had a partner. It's something that I really long for but I never get the same amount of love that I give. Even when people reciprocated my feelings, they didn't commit to it. I think it will be hard for me to find someone as passionate as me
I think every healthy person is most compatible with their same type, so I think you should search for another ENFJ so the relationship is equal
And that's what has made me a serial partner, as Nathan called it.
I encourage you to challenge your perception of passion, learn to appreciate the different, and prioritize growing friendships on a solid foundation of healthy boundaries. The rest should take care of itself. 💕
Ikr? ENFJ here
It's interesting that you say this because I think I've always felt that I would always give more and because of this, I have just accepted it. There are some people in my life that try to match me, and to me that's good enough because the effort shows. It's an ENFJ curse...but maybe take Lazy Pea's suggestion and find another ENFJ?
Although, I have a few ENFJ friends out there and depending where they are in life and how burnt out they are from other relationships or I should say jaded, the reciprocation might not happen as much as you would like. So it just depends.... But good luck!
As an ENTJ, I don't want to be in a relationship because I need the freedom to do what I want, when I want, where I want, with who I want. And there's also the fact that the people who like me are always the ones who want something from me without adding value to my life in return, which is an absolute deal breaker for me. No one I've met is able to match me in the skills where I require them to. Anyways...I love my life😌💅
Being an INTJ woman is quite difficult. I've never been in a relationship for twenty years of my life. I feel like I want to be in a relationship but at the same time, I don't want to.
Also an INTJ girl, just turned 22 and have never been in a relationship. Dating feels so...uncomfortable. I keep waiting for an ENxP to come sweep me away, to get me to WANT to put in the effort, but meeting one feels almost impossible sometimes. Society expects women to be the bubbly, emotionally available, friendly caretaker, and INTJs....dont exactly fit the mold.
Wahhhh this is terribly accurate for infjs :'0 also istps and intps being single forever lmaooo love my little socially incompetent cuties
You are INFJ? Interesting... Also, ISTP's are not exactly socially incompetent. They just choose not to say anything they deem unnecessary and to not be near anyone when there is no specific cause or call to action.
I think I disagree with your INFJ not being a candidate for staying single more.... I imagine that they are likely to stay single, at least in this day and age. Although IF they found a compatible partner, it wouldn't ever end.
Agree
Oh yeah, the number of divorced and still single INFJs I know is staggering... But they are also (almost) all women. It's a cultural thing I guess, but hopefully people's attitude towards women will change for the better even in traditional societies. Everyone should be equally respected and valued, not just certain groups.
Dad is Istp, but mom is estj ahahhahaaahahahha so no escape situation 🤣
A bit off topic but it just crossed my mind: the perceived scarcity principle is exactly what luxury brands play on. People think that when there is a limited number of an item, it's not readily available and is expensive, it's automatically more worth in whatever value they attribute to it. I always considered it nonsense (and I'm in the luxury sector). I guess I may have saved a lot of money :)
ISTJ woman here. You can't be further from the truth in my case. My parents had a lousy marriage. I grew up in a toxic envinorment and after that all I seek is peace and freedom. Men never bothered to court me. I had a few attempts of relationships but those people couldn't care less. I have very few friends. Because some of them married and got children I don't see them anymore so I realised that most likely I will rely on myself for the rest of my life. Even my friendships are not true. Most of my life I was alone and dealt with s*it life was throwing at me. It wasn't easy peasy. I value freedom, independece and financial stability. So I would rather live on my own than to live with someone and to deal with drama or caughting someone in cheating attempts like before. So I don't trust people easily. Marriage is a trap. I can't imagine living with someone for the rest of my life. That sounds suffocating.
INTJ here married to an INTP for 10 years now. Our inner children are alive and well. Also, we are both enneagram type 5 with different wings.
I like how you decided to have inner children together
Wow
Wow
Wow
"By single forever, I mean someone who never has a life-long successful relationship". That implies that someone who got divorced and married several times, would not fulfil the quota no?
I only bring it up because although extroverts are statistically more likely to be in a relationship (likely because they meet more people as you said, and also they are more likely to take social risks, which are often necessary to obtain a partner), introverts are actually more likely to be in a long-term (especially life-long) relationship, because they are less likely to break up (less likely to take social risks again, and less likely to meet someone new).
Further, your statement "the most compatible person from a large sample is going to be better than a small sample", I think is a fundamental misunderstanding of what makes a good long-term relationship and how people choose mates. People rarely understand each other, and usually don't make decisions in who to date from careful curation (but again introverts are more likely to assess social risk and not chase excitement, so probably more likely to curate), and the reasons people break up are rarely because "they weren't the best person to date from a sample", it's because of an issue arising from the relationship, or an unforeseen fundamental incompatibility (often in values rather than personality).
I thought the same!
I think the misunderstanding is reasonable.
If you picked from a small sample, and none of them are to your likings. Then you're more like to end up being single "forever" since you're also likely to not seek out other people. Which also means that the chances of finding someone of interest is lower.
The crucial part of this is about ability to choose, and not about choosing the best of the best.
Love ur pfp
@@tencioviedo1248 I love yours too bro
I'm the only single guy in my group and I dont know if I'm an istp or an intp
Man ur a psychic
How do u do this
Yeah, same. My intp/istp friend though has a girlfriend so not all hope is lost XD
@@LibraryofAcousticMagic3240 having a girlfriend is not the same as knowing how to maintain it, or knowing how to be emotionally vulnerable and open with your thoughts, feelings and desires, problems of an INTP who had a girlfriend (or something very close to it)
Entp~ halfway expecting to be single till death and be hauntingly forever in matrimony 😒... O well would you look at that!
INFJ-T here. Currently single and I highly doubt this will ever going to change, unfortunately.
INFJ here. I got married very young (21) to ENTP (also 21) we bought a house and had some babies and then we got divorced. So, I’ve done both. I was the one who pulled the plug. He would’ve happily stayed in it forever. He was like how you described INTP maybe becoming, when you said they don’t mind outsourcing the taking care of themselves, part. I thought I was going to die. I was sooo exhausted because I was working my job, taking care of four young children AND one large and extreeeeemely lazy ENTP husband.
I wish I could have found a male ENTJ to date as an ENTJ female. But it seems I have only dated INFJs, ENFJs and INTPs.
That would be the perfect match, easiest to communicate with your own type
As an ISTP there were a lot of times I got bored of texting and going on dates with people on dating apps and just forgot about their entire existence... Even though I actually liked some and then question why I'm still single.
INFJ - married; divorced and from there on single forever.
2:55 yes ENTJ and INTJ take relationship too seriously that's why we don't take it seriously sometimes bc we had enough of them lol but yes it's true that we get distracted by goals sometimes our love ones might hurt by our behaviour and unemotional sides.But we still love them equally we just don't know how to show our emotional sides
Just give them a hug and ask them how their day was or if they need anything. Then just listen and don't try to solve anything unless they ask.
INTP.
I am married with an ESFJ guy and we are parents of a INFP girl.
INTP, divorsed, single, never again. :-))) Right after divorce I used to watch "Lonely this Christmas"on TH-cam thinking it was a song of triumph only later read somewhere "Lonely this Christmas" was a sad song. Is it really???? They don't look sad.