Set your life free from Childhood PTSD! Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2 And if you'd like to join our Members' Book Club (where we read books about CPTSD together) become a Member here: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
I’m a professional housekeeper so I know how to keep a house. But my house was a true disaster! Then one day I thought, why don’t I care for myself the way I care for others? I would never let my clients live in a dirty house like that so why should I! My house is really nice now and it makes me happy every day! Even when I have to reclean it all the time!
19:48 the person who hurt you, are they really going to say the words you need? 23:02 talk at the front porch 28:05 letting go of what other people think. 32:16 debtors anonymous 34:10 not letting money (your power) lleaking out of you 34:51 both over spender and under spender 45:23 letting go friends draining you Attracting evolving people 46:20 the sticky floor 48:04 list of 10 self care, dental cleaning, so on 48:55 when you're doing too much for others (over functioning!) 57:27 writing down of business we need to take care 58:59 59:26 consumed with someone else's problems
Oh my goodness. I now understand what is wrong with me. My entire life has been cycles of everything you've said. I'm 57, miserable inside and, quite frankly, tired.
I appreciate you CCF more than all the "shrinks" put together and then some! Look forward to your book. Having CPTSD spoken of by one who truly knows and getting true suggestions on how to cope, to actually having a much better life is absolutely priceless -- THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH --- 66 and exhausted! 💞
I am going to go out and get some new basic but nice underwear when i get paid. Mine is in tatters. Strp one. Thank you, Anna. You make me laugh with recognition
I really like the honesty you have. I needed to hear this. I will be honest, I did have to listen in chunks. It felt very overwhelming all at once. It's probably because I resonated with all but two on the list. I appreciated hearing, though, thank you for this!
Wow. She knows it takes a lot to get a job and to leave one for us. My power is divided and diminished often. Thanks for the video. I run from conflict, and I'm afraid I'll hurt someone because I can't negotiate many times. I know I hurt their feelings. I'm staying busy but not taking care of business. Tomorrow is a new day. My old girlfriend had cptsd. I wish we had stayed together and married. You do have to save yourself, when you hit rock bottom, set the intention and start over. You can do it! Scrolling thru jobs I'm not qualified for takes your power, too! I wonder what percentage of people have cptsd? When I work with actualized people, I wonder how they prosper while I flounder.
it's soooo hard to watch so much truth, being alone and can't share my thoughts with someone about it. Officially I don' t have (C)PTSD at all, but I do 14 of the 18 points so much 😭
I'm doing absolutely nothing...again. Sometimes I must dress for obligations to show up. I've been missing lately for about a year now, again. I will try to show up more, but put the ol' mask on. Damn it. Your kids can see right thru you.They're all grown up and know you all too well. My mask has slipped too many times, because being older makes it many times more difficult to hold it over my face. Everybody you know is sick of you being sick. After all, your only 63 yr old. Gosh. Why is my head so hard?! I'm sick of me too...always in my head. No breaks from it swirling like a tornado for yrs...ah, but for the Grace of God, I've had less emotional pain. As time passes, I'm getting good at feeding my new addictions to chocolate, grapefruit soft drinks, deer jerky, edible gummies, reality tv, HGTV, UFOs, politics...Thank God the election ads have stopped. Thank God that's over.
Im 60 yrs old still cant speak up, childhood was damaging, it followed me through out of life and have both adult children to do same damage,knowing what happened to me.. i will never forgive them i dont trust any one ever again. Im aloner always have been and still are.
Thanks Anna, you've been such a gift in relearning how to regulate myself. I have a question... Why is it that I don't recall having insane childhood trauma but feel so intensely dysregulated, especially when going into new environments or facing stress? It's like my whole body is electrified and I can't fall asleep feeling safe in my body and reality.
Something I learned from Heidi Priebe is that you can get CPTSD from childhood emotional neglect, which is a type of trauma that is sort of invisible because it's the absence of something you needed rather than the presence of something harmful. I had a pretty normal childhood and was so confused as to why I had the same symptoms and struggles as people who had been abused - CEN is the reason. It could be that you experienced it too.
“Is the back of your hair brushed?”🤣💀 No joke growing up, my dad and I were always fixing the hole in the back of my mom’s hair. LOL …which brings me to a question…how much is result of trauma vs learned behaviors? For instance, my mom was very chaotic and “scatter-brained,”also extremely insecure and hypersensitive. She didn’t have good habits, and I didn’t learn good habits. (This goes for emotional habits as well, in relationships etc.) I definitely experience the symptoms of trauma that you address, but I’m curious about this aspect of what we model.
pay rises...? Many people with cptsd can't work at all or at least not in jobs with stress, and every job where you earn a bit better is "filled" with mental stress like where you need to be able to go through conflicts every day, what you can't with intense cptsd, so again I don't understand your "solutions" like "go, looking for better payed jobs". Because of trauma and panic in schools I never could learn for a qualification that enables me to take better jobs. So it's impossible to take all these jobs where you need to have certain qualifications. And I still can't learn new things, learning for qualifications still causes panic attacs. So what do you mean by saying people with cptsd shall look for jobs where they earn decent money to become free with their decisions in the daily life etc? How?
Hey. Fellow cptsd person here. I can feel your pain. I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you. I don’t know your story but I can share what helped in mine and maybe it can help you too. I’ve felt defeated in a similar manner. Joining a 12 step group for childhood trauma like ACA helped so much. That group taught me how to reparent myself so I could work on how to manage the stress, stay focused, and get through the day. The short answer when I asked how to do it turned out to be “one day at a time”. I wish you the best and I hope you heal ❤
@@mattesrocket the group is called adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. It’s an international group and there are groups all over Europe too ☺️.
Step one I think is do the daily practice. Also 12 steps I think getting a job and being able to be successful in it without it triggering mental health only happens after we do the work.
@@Vie37 There are very few groups in Germany, no one in my region 😕 So I could get only telephone contacts what is sad, I need real people, someone to look in the eyes...
I think we have to heal first. Step one is probably doing the daily practice. I also got a lot out of ACA. Work works itself out after we do the mental health work.
I’m completely blind, autistic and have CPTSD. I’m a people pleaser for sure. I put boundaries and limits on doing the things that accommodate my blindness, autism and CPTSD. If someone says “running into things isn’t ok. Feeling and exploring everything with your hands isn’t ok. You shouldn’t use sensory items because it’s not what everyone else does.” I will listen to it. Another thing about me, I’m way too overly independent. I don’t ask for help. I don’t communicate when I’m feeling vulnerable. I go above my abilities and do it all myself. I won’t ask for help or support from anyone because I’m strong, and strong people always do it on their own with 0 help. My own rule in my life is to never ask for help or support.
@ that’s the part I fail to realize. I’m in a more of a clear headspace when it comes to my healing. So because of this, I find it so hard to ask for help, support or to reach out and communicate to someone when it comes to vulnerability.
You are sugar coating some problems like with debts (roughly said) "things just turn around like magic, if you pay positive attention every day ...", "...I started to take care about what gas station I go to...". I'd like to have those little problems, being really in debts means you frequently can't pay important and basic things anymore, you eat anyway only cheap things, you can't afford to have a car, that's why you spend every day 3 hours in public transportation to go to work and back, you have the perspective of not buying yourself something really nice and heart warming for the next 10 years. And if you sometimes buy yourself a little bit something nicely to eat, you regret it at the end of the month because you end again at zero dollar, not building up a perspective for the future. It really doesn't turn things around like magic, if you pay attention about your money every day, because I do this for years, noting down almost every day my income and spendings, the debts are just too high for any improvements. So, but later you say how poor you really were, like me now. Just can't understand were your debts went to in such a short time. And how to find a good job when mentally broke and not in good relationship etc. The banks want their money, I can't do something about this within the next 10 years...
I think Anna may have been directing this particular point about taking note of your debt, budget, spending etc to those of us who have just let our money "leak" away from us at times bc we were in some denial or in a trauma response re: debt, money etc. You actually seem to have a good handle on what the reality of your situation is & how to manage your money (given your circumstances and income are very, very limited at present & it sounds really hard. I, too, have been there & in many ways, still am, as an older person on a disability pension for mental health issues ) It's really difficult to see any hope for our lives improving, eg: financially, when we're 'beaten down' by eg: depression, anxiety, cptsd etc . I've found it really helpful & supportive to be part of Al-Anon (A 12 step group for relatives & friends of those who have problems with alcohol/ alcoholism whether that person is still drinking or not ) The groups are anonymous, Non-judgemental & welcoming. They're also FREE (if you're able to make a small donation, it's welcomed, but not compulsory 😊) There are other 12 step groups that might suit you better. They're based on members sharing their own experience, strength & hope. I found discovering I wasn't alone & that many others seemed to have had a similar life & circumstances to mine just incredible & such a relief. I found the meetings to be like a calm, peaceful 'oasis' amongst all the hardship & turmoil. A good, healthy 12 step group can be like finding the safe, caring family we never had. Best wishes ❤️
@@bluecandymsp thanks for the long answer. I have looked for groups fitting my problems: there are none. There was one in the past but they stopped because of too few people and "too few interest". The guy at the phone said "young people nowadays don't want to invest in social activities anymore, no one wanted anymore to do actively things for the group", so they stopped... (etc., etc., etc....). Today I heard, in 2 months I have to leave the appartment I just moved in last Mai, very cheap rent, to safe money. Now I have to look again for an appartment. Never calm or lucky times....
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Set your life free from Childhood PTSD! Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2
And if you'd like to join our Members' Book Club (where we read books about CPTSD together) become a Member here: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
I’m a professional housekeeper so I know how to keep a house. But my house was a true disaster! Then one day I thought, why don’t I care for myself the way I care for others? I would never let my clients live in a dirty house like that so why should I! My house is really nice now and it makes me happy every day! Even when I have to reclean it all the time!
Not to say that everything is peachy now but every little step helps you make the next step.
be glad you can clean it. I have to beg to get anything done.
This gives me hope. Thank you.
How easy is that??! I’m glad I read this comment. Thank you for sharing ❤
I took a screenshot of your comment.
Dysregulation is not just a neurological thing. It's in the body!
Exactly! And it wreaks havoc on the body.
The brain and nervous system is a part of the body.
Nika@TeamFairy
19:48 the person who hurt you, are they really going to say the words you need?
23:02 talk at the front porch
28:05 letting go of what other people think.
32:16 debtors anonymous
34:10 not letting money (your power) lleaking out of you
34:51 both over spender and under spender
45:23 letting go friends draining you
Attracting evolving people
46:20 the sticky floor
48:04 list of 10 self care, dental cleaning, so on
48:55 when you're doing too much for others (over functioning!)
57:27 writing down of business we need to take care
58:59
59:26 consumed with someone else's problems
All of these are so uncomfortably familiar!
Oh my goodness. I now understand what is wrong with me. My entire life has been cycles of everything you've said. I'm 57, miserable inside and, quite frankly, tired.
You're in the right place now :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I appreciate you CCF more than all the "shrinks" put together and then some! Look forward to your book. Having CPTSD spoken of by one who truly knows and getting true suggestions on how to cope, to actually having a much better life is absolutely priceless -- THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH --- 66 and exhausted! 💞
Thanks for sharing this! We're so glad Anna's content has been helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I am going to go out and get some new basic but nice underwear when i get paid. Mine is in tatters. Strp one. Thank you, Anna. You make me laugh with recognition
Buy some nice underwear. Sexy, too. We, think your underwear is sexy. Don't be anxious about it. We always look.
I really like the honesty you have. I needed to hear this. I will be honest, I did have to listen in chunks. It felt very overwhelming all at once. It's probably because I resonated with all but two on the list. I appreciated hearing, though, thank you for this!
Baby steps. Take a little bite each day. We are in your corner!
This episode is gold ! Thank you very much
I'm so glad the video was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Ride the great surfboard of life!
Wow. She knows it takes a lot to get a job and to leave one for us. My power is divided and diminished often. Thanks for the video. I run from conflict, and I'm afraid I'll hurt someone because I can't negotiate many times. I know I hurt their feelings. I'm staying busy but not taking care of business. Tomorrow is a new day. My old girlfriend had cptsd. I wish we had stayed together and married. You do have to save yourself, when you hit rock bottom, set the intention and start over. You can do it! Scrolling thru jobs I'm not qualified for takes your power, too! I wonder what percentage of people have cptsd? When I work with actualized people, I wonder how they prosper while I flounder.
Thank You very much, I appreciate you.
We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I'm 25% Scots and 100% cheap. I don't overspend. I under-spend a bit, but not much.
it's soooo hard to watch so much truth, being alone and can't share my thoughts with someone about it.
Officially I don' t have (C)PTSD at all, but I do 14 of the 18 points so much 😭
So much is hitting home 😮
Broke things off with a toxic friend and I feel incredibly lonely, like the hurt might still be worth it. I don’t feel like I’m worthy of being loved
Hang in there. We're glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
thank you
I don't self medicate. I repress everything, so I don't need to. But I'm still disregulated.
Are you a drinker?
Brilliant!
@@HearTruth
Go away.
The woman I love thinks she is brilliant, and I agree. I hope she heals herself. One step at a time.
i posit 2 further effs. flop and focus (either hyper (autism?) or hypo (adhd or avoidance?).
I'm doing absolutely nothing...again. Sometimes I must dress for obligations to show up. I've been missing lately for about a year now, again. I will try to show up more, but put the ol' mask on. Damn it. Your kids can see right thru you.They're all grown up and know you all too well. My mask has slipped too many times, because being older makes it many times more difficult to hold it over my face. Everybody you know is sick of you being sick. After all, your only 63 yr old. Gosh. Why is my head so hard?! I'm sick of me too...always in my head. No breaks from it swirling like a tornado for yrs...ah, but for the Grace of God, I've had less emotional pain. As time passes, I'm getting good at feeding my new addictions to chocolate, grapefruit soft drinks, deer jerky, edible gummies, reality tv, HGTV, UFOs, politics...Thank God the election ads have stopped. Thank God that's over.
Be glad you can eat, my jaw got torn off and I have no teeth and they can't give me any. I am just waiting and praying to die.
Im 60 yrs old still cant speak up, childhood was damaging, it followed me through out of life and have both adult children to do same damage,knowing what happened to me.. i will never forgive them i dont trust any one ever again. Im aloner always have been and still are.
Thankyou ❤
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thanks Anna, you've been such a gift in relearning how to regulate myself. I have a question... Why is it that I don't recall having insane childhood trauma but feel so intensely dysregulated, especially when going into new environments or facing stress? It's like my whole body is electrified and I can't fall asleep feeling safe in my body and reality.
Something I learned from Heidi Priebe is that you can get CPTSD from childhood emotional neglect, which is a type of trauma that is sort of invisible because it's the absence of something you needed rather than the presence of something harmful. I had a pretty normal childhood and was so confused as to why I had the same symptoms and struggles as people who had been abused - CEN is the reason. It could be that you experienced it too.
The underwear drawer!!!!! Oh geees!
“Is the back of your hair brushed?”🤣💀 No joke growing up, my dad and I were always fixing the hole in the back of my mom’s hair. LOL …which brings me to a question…how much is result of trauma vs learned behaviors? For instance, my mom was very chaotic and “scatter-brained,”also extremely insecure and hypersensitive. She didn’t have good habits, and I didn’t learn good habits. (This goes for emotional habits as well, in relationships etc.) I definitely experience the symptoms of trauma that you address, but I’m curious about this aspect of what we model.
pay rises...? Many people with cptsd can't work at all or at least not in jobs with stress, and every job where you earn a bit better is "filled" with mental stress like where you need to be able to go through conflicts every day, what you can't with intense cptsd, so again I don't understand your "solutions" like "go, looking for better payed jobs". Because of trauma and panic in schools I never could learn for a qualification that enables me to take better jobs. So it's impossible to take all these jobs where you need to have certain qualifications. And I still can't learn new things, learning for qualifications still causes panic attacs. So what do you mean by saying people with cptsd shall look for jobs where they earn decent money to become free with their decisions in the daily life etc? How?
Hey. Fellow cptsd person here. I can feel your pain. I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you. I don’t know your story but I can share what helped in mine and maybe it can help you too. I’ve felt defeated in a similar manner. Joining a 12 step group for childhood trauma like ACA helped so much. That group taught me how to reparent myself so I could work on how to manage the stress, stay focused, and get through the day. The short answer when I asked how to do it turned out to be “one day at a time”. I wish you the best and I hope you heal ❤
@@Vie37 need to figure out what a 12 step group for childhood trauma like ACA is, I live in Europe and English is not my native language.
@@mattesrocket the group is called adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. It’s an international group and there are groups all over Europe too ☺️.
Step one I think is do the daily practice. Also 12 steps I think getting a job and being able to be successful in it without it triggering mental health only happens after we do the work.
@@Vie37 There are very few groups in Germany, no one in my region 😕 So I could get only telephone contacts what is sad, I need real people, someone to look in the eyes...
Trying to sign in to daily practice it want let me use my on password.
Please email us at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com and we'll get you set up :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
how do u find work that means something to u?
I think we have to heal first. Step one is probably doing the daily practice. I also got a lot out of ACA. Work works itself out after we do the mental health work.
What do you care about or find interesting?
@@kayligo that's the thing,,,nothing that's productive. I love meeting people and hearing their stories
@@HellaBella-d4y what about a TH-cam channel where you interview random people
@kayligo honestly I thought Abt it... but why would one watch that?
I’m completely blind, autistic and have CPTSD. I’m a people pleaser for sure. I put boundaries and limits on doing the things that accommodate my blindness, autism and CPTSD. If someone says “running into things isn’t ok. Feeling and exploring everything with your hands isn’t ok. You shouldn’t use sensory items because it’s not what everyone else does.” I will listen to it. Another thing about me, I’m way too overly independent. I don’t ask for help. I don’t communicate when I’m feeling vulnerable. I go above my abilities and do it all myself. I won’t ask for help or support from anyone because I’m strong, and strong people always do it on their own with 0 help. My own rule in my life is to never ask for help or support.
Actually, asking for help is a sign of strength
@ that’s the part I fail to realize. I’m in a more of a clear headspace when it comes to my healing. So because of this, I find it so hard to ask for help, support or to reach out and communicate to someone when it comes to vulnerability.
🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️🌻🌻🌻🌻
🦉🦉🦉🦉🙏🤙🏽❤️
You are sugar coating some problems like with debts (roughly said) "things just turn around like magic, if you pay positive attention every day ...", "...I started to take care about what gas station I go to...". I'd like to have those little problems, being really in debts means you frequently can't pay important and basic things anymore, you eat anyway only cheap things, you can't afford to have a car, that's why you spend every day 3 hours in public transportation to go to work and back, you have the perspective of not buying yourself something really nice and heart warming for the next 10 years. And if you sometimes buy yourself a little bit something nicely to eat, you regret it at the end of the month because you end again at zero dollar, not building up a perspective for the future. It really doesn't turn things around like magic, if you pay attention about your money every day, because I do this for years, noting down almost every day my income and spendings, the debts are just too high for any improvements.
So, but later you say how poor you really were, like me now. Just can't understand were your debts went to in such a short time. And how to find a good job when mentally broke and not in good relationship etc. The banks want their money, I can't do something about this within the next 10 years...
You’re not getting it
I think Anna may have been directing this particular point about taking note of your debt, budget, spending etc to those of us who have just let our money "leak" away from us at times bc we were in some denial or in a trauma response re: debt, money etc. You actually seem to have a good handle on what the reality of your situation is & how to manage your money (given your circumstances and income are very, very limited at present & it sounds really hard. I, too, have been there & in many ways, still am, as an older person on a disability pension for mental health issues )
It's really difficult to see any hope for our lives improving, eg: financially, when we're 'beaten down' by eg: depression, anxiety, cptsd etc . I've found it really helpful & supportive to be part of Al-Anon (A 12 step group for relatives & friends of those who have problems with alcohol/ alcoholism whether that person is still drinking or not ) The groups are anonymous, Non-judgemental & welcoming. They're also FREE (if you're able to make a small donation, it's welcomed, but not compulsory 😊)
There are other 12 step groups that might suit you better. They're based on members sharing their own experience, strength & hope. I found discovering I wasn't alone & that many others seemed to have had a similar life & circumstances to mine just incredible & such a relief. I found the meetings to be like a calm, peaceful 'oasis' amongst all the hardship & turmoil. A good, healthy 12 step group can be like finding the safe, caring family we never had.
Best wishes ❤️
@@bluecandymsp thanks for the long answer. I have looked for groups fitting my problems: there are none. There was one in the past but they stopped because of too few people and "too few interest". The guy at the phone said "young people nowadays don't want to invest in social activities anymore, no one wanted anymore to do actively things for the group", so they stopped... (etc., etc., etc....). Today I heard, in 2 months I have to leave the appartment I just moved in last Mai, very cheap rent, to safe money. Now I have to look again for an appartment. Never calm or lucky times....
Its so disappointing how smart AND stupid Steven Bonaccelli is 😢
I'm stuck in 1986, not a pleasant decade
That can change instead of saying I'm stuck I have to choose a better feeling thought for example I'm interested in finding out how to be unstuck.
You have my permission to join us in 2024.
Thank you