***No Green Iguanas***

■■■ Green Iguanna Blues ■■■
Revised Lyrics: Green Iguana Blues
[**Verse 1**]
I don’t wanna Barbecued iguana,
Why can’t they stay
Lounge beneath my Tiki hut in my parrot-head pajamas,
Sittin half naked under the the palms in my makeshift sauna.
Sharing my aquatic paradise with bulky fat o’l iguanas,
Oh, there’re patrolling the beach, the streets, and the seashores, what do they do it for,
I don’t think I can take anymore
seas-oh, the drama!
They’re lurking, skulking, in branches and bushes,
Falling from the trees, with surprising whooshes.
There are foreigners pouring into our land,
They wear camo to blend in, scales and colored skins, as they crawl across the sand
Overwhelming and destroying our law and order.
We don’t wanna anymore illegal iguanas,
Pouring across our boarders
Taking up our time and money,
There are iguanas in the Bahamas,
And Havana, on south around Guyana,
And then again all the way west to Tijuana
But you won’t find them in Fontana California,
But maybe as far north as Savannah, in the Carolinas,
Yeah, they even have iguana’s in Ghana,
all the way to Africa in Botswana,
But hallelujah, no iguanas,
in the Big Blue Sky country of Montana
So I geared up with a lasso and a 50 cal gun,
Mostly for show-oh, but ain’t it fun?
If this green tide continues to swell,
I might just escalate to napalm and hell,
Claymore mines to guard my terrain,
And a rabid dog to mess with their reptilian brain.
[**Verse 2**]
Now, it ain’t that their scaly skins bother me,
Their anatomy piques my curiosity.
Though I must confess, under coconut and leaves,
These critters don’t taste half-bad, these thieving thieves!
It's that time of year, the early dawn’s glow,
The sun heats slow, my advantage, just so.
[**Chorus**]
I am the Iguana Man,
Call me crazy, with a lizard-chasing plan.
From distant lands, these invaders came,
In my sunny yard, they’ve made their fame.
[**Verse 3**]
Where’d you come from? How'd you invade?
Hunting you down, my daily escapade.
"You don’t belong," that’s what they chant,
Eradication chants, they rant and rant.
[**Bridge**]
Plump and fat, we roam and rule,
Dragons in the gardens, by the pool.
Tearing up plants, feasting on eggs,
Our leggy marches, nature’s dregs.
[**Verse 4**]
I am the Iguana Man,
Misfit hero in this sunny land.
Happy in my green-hued spree,
You can’t decide the fate of me.
[**Outro**]
Yet as I chase with tools absurd,
From flamethrowers to the spoken word,
Perhaps it’s me, not they, who’s truly absurd,
In this wild, reptilian, iguana-blurred world.