So this is love?||Vent||Read desc before commenting||Ft- Me IRL, M04@

TW! Cheating, using, toxicity, lying, nud3s, cussing
She pressed me against the wall in an alleyway and started kissing me. I had a girlfriend. Yet I didn't stop her.
This went on for like 5 minutes before she pulled away and ran off. Leaving me there.
She knew I had a girlfriend, yet still insinuated a makeout session with me, and then ran off.
It's my fault for not stopping her when she kissed me. I know that. But she could have at least not just fucking left me there.
We have been using each other for 2 years. It's so fucking toxic. We both know but never bothered to stop it. We could never be together because the past is toxic towards each other would ruin everything.
We don't even know if we have romantic feelings for each other or if we want to keep being hookups.
She got mad when I got into a relationship while talking to her, when she did the same thing.
Her sister and I went through her phone for shits and giggles and found out she had been sending nude$ and crude messages to a guy in our school.
We were both disgusted and told her mom.
The worst part is, she was doing all this while talking to me, and knowing the guy had a girlfriend. It's also the guys fault for sending them back, but I think you get the point.
No matter how much we try, we'll never do anything but use each other. It's fucked up but we can't stop.