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HOW TO DEAL WITH TANTRUMS Dr. Becky Kennedy (@DrBeckyatHome) Shares her Advice!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ส.ค. 2024
- This strategy has worked for me and I'm excited to share it with you! Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy @drbeckyathome) shares her strategy for building emotional regulation skills for kids and managing meltdowns. All toddlers tantrum, it's a normal response when they feel BIG emotions. But, it's REALLY hard as a parent when tantrums begin to disrupt your day and upset your child. Here are three ways to help your kid calm down and regulate themselves. Especially when we're home with our kids all day long this advice is super helpful!
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I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm already watching parenting videos! Thank you for posting this!!!!
You are so welcome! So excited for you!!
These are tips we can use in adult relationships.
Yes I just finished reading the whole brain child, it was amazing and so life changing for me and how I parent! I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 year old son . Thank you for sharing I'll follow her now.
You're so welcome!! I've read about the ideas in that book but I need to read it.
Child psychologists and psychiatrists have discovered that toddlers have a quite specific pattern they follow in all tantrums, even if the specifics of them are quite different. Now and then you get lucky and can get them to articulate what they want from you, but not that often. It is like the aura before a migraine; it is really important to notice it and what will follow and address it early on, if you can. So many of these powerful emotions seem to relate to their frustrations, some legitimate in terms of what they still need to learn to do and some that are about not being able to control everyone/thing in their realm to their liking. She is absolutely right about heading them off at the pass, if it's possible. Sometimes we just don't catch it early enough. Precisely, we have to be calm to promote calm in them, even if we feel we must have them remove themselves from the situation via time-out or some such until they feel better. Good that she mentions not letting them hit and other violent behaviors. The building of a story with them later is a practice of the native tribes of the North American Arctic regions. They retell the story, so that you both understand the experience in simple language the same way. There are even books by aboriginal authors about this practice. Jean Briggs wrote of her study while living with the Inuit above the Arctic Circle in "Never in Anger" and "Inuit Morality Play." A family was talked into 'adopting' her and she was amazed that they were never even angry with her stupidity about what to do in terms of survival in a harsh environment. These deal with teaching very small children how to control big feelings and anger and how they used storytelling to teach rather than hollering or threats. Of course, the stories or plays performed came after the child had calmed down and sometimes then involved other members of the family. It was probably essential to their physically difficult lives for them to have as little drama or aberrant behavior as possible so that the community would not suffer. But, this is true in our homes. Sometimes they even act out the story of what occurred with dolls or stuffed animals. But there is little prefrontal cortex at the toddler stage and it is not fully developed until biological adolescence ends around age 22 years. So, we are helping to form the controls they will store in their prefrontal cortex and prepare them for rational thinking. It is part of what good fairy tales do, not the Disney crap designed to make more little consumers and make future Morlocks/workers want unhealthy or unrealistic things. Thanks.
Love all your insight, thank you so much for sharing!!
The book suggestion is so interesting, thank you for sharing! Love the idea of retelling the story. I just want to add about the prefrontal cortex - teenagers have this part of the brain completely change, in simple terms it's like it scrambles. People often expect far too much of both toddlers and teenagers because they don't understand the basics of what is happening physically. I wish it was taught in schools and by health visitors etc!
@@SamWest96 Yes, the toddler switchover from baby to child and the teenage switchover from child to adult is traumatic enough and then so many are unaware of the lack of permanent formation yet in the prefrontal cortex that needs to be understood as a liability for them that we need to monitor and train. Most are not aware that adolescence lasts through about age 22, after college.
@@philippapay4352 it's true, which is why it frustrates me to no end how young people are expected to make concrete future plans, when their brains are still developing.
@@SamWest96 It is questionable if they should be driving on public streets (not worried about farm equipment with less variables) or voting or drinking until after college. It's all an issue for their safety and that of others. They do not make good judgments reliably. College, long ago in the mists of time, was a liberal education for 4 years after which one went to graduate and post-graduate school to specialize, not unlike a liberal pre-med education that helps prepare you for med school, but does not at all neglect all the other educational disciplines. We now worry about our toddlers going to daycare and preschool where they learn Russian and Mandarin to be able to compete for what? A lot of the best working class jobs are electrician, plumber, carpenter and you must do an established apprenticeship for them. We are ok with someone drinking and driving, which they unfortunately often do together, but they cannot masturbate. We have such screwed-up priorities and fail to take biology into account.
My son is 2.5 and I’m 21 weeks pregnant. This was great!
So glad to hear it!
My favourite wee ray of sunshine! Hope you're well Marion. 😘
Aww thank you!
Saving this for when I have a little one 👍🏻
I wish I had these ideas in mind from the beginning too lol!
Awesome advice! I don't have kids yet but I've been watching your videos for a while and can't wait to put these tips into practice 😊
That's so nice to hear, thank you!
Toddler tantrums r just a practice run for teen tantrums 😉 and you can deal with those in the exact same way... By the time I was done with my 6 kids, toddler years, I went strait into the teen years😁 having lots of fun and a lot of slow breathing 😂
Oh my goodness lol that's such a full picture perspective, love it!
You are so cute and sweet. Such a real definition of mommy. Thank you for introducing this psychologist to us. I will look more into her teachings. I think she is great! God bless you and your family sweet girl.
You are so kind, I'm so glad to hear that this advice resonated for you!
My daughter is 15 months old and we are yet to
experience tantrums! I find these advise very interesting and definitely gave me some idea on how to prepare as much as possible! Great video!
Glad it was helpful! It's good to know what to expect I find a lot of parents are totally unprepared and then frustrated by their kids suddenly behaving differently.
My Jewish Mommy Life I will be coming back to this video when the time comes! 🙌🏻
Thank you for this!
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you 💕🤗 Shalom !
You’re very welcome!
This was really interesting. I have a 1, 2, 4 and 14 year old x
Wow! I'm sure your heart and hands are full!
My children are 18 months and 3 years old. I have the hardest time with my 14 year old.