Kids Going "Off the Derech": Reasons, Reactions, and Responses, with Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มิ.ย. 2024
- Just as many young people who are not religious become Orthodox, so do many young Orthodox Jews leave Orthodox practice behind. Colloquially, this is often called being “off the derech” - that is, off “the” way of traditional Torah practice.
The phenomenon of Orthodox Jews becoming less classically religious is real, and it’s important to think about why it happens. Is it simply a question of disbelief or doubt regarding dogma? Are there other reasons that we, as parents and educators, should take into account? In what ways are our educational methods to blame, how can we work to reform those problems, and can we fix the well-meaning but mistaken messages that may have been imparted to our children? What can we learn from those who leave Orthodoxy, and do we have a responsibility to try to convince them to come back? How can parents of children who are not shomrei Shabbat avoid the sense of failure, or a belief that their kids have rejected them and everything that they believe? On the other hand, if children seem well-rooted in an Orthodox belief system, is there any reason for concern when they attend secular college or the Israeli army?
In order to address these questions, Scott was honored to speak to Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson on this episode of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast.
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Fantastic Rabbi .. I agree it all comes from a deep place of pain like all symptoms in life.
One of the bestest talks
Bravo!
To be honest, it was only under a specific set of circumstances, that after a lifetime of Self-Hating due to being a Patrilineal forced through Christianity.....it was only remembering my Jewish Grandpa's Agnosticism and teaching me Yiddishkeit and his rejecting Judaism combined with depressiviely growing up with Fundamental Evangelical Charismatic Christianity, that finally sparked my Pintele Yid. However, in a debate with a German Christian Psychologist on Tovia's Outteach Judaism site, he made a good point that often one goes from one Fundamentalism to another. (I DO go crazy on RABBI Singer's site.) Dismantling Christianity and shredding Anti-Jewish Christian Attitudes gives me Great Joy and is Therapeutic. To what end is all the learning for if we can't dismantle Anti-Jewish Attitudes ???? I'm a Patrilineal Noahide Counter Missionary with a Pintele Yid. I finally know who I am. But, I don't want to be like a ROTE Catholic or Isolated Sheltered Religious Academic. I wish I could be a Chabadnik on the streets of NYC with a Tehillim saying "Ask Me Why The Tehillim Is JC-FREE" OR "Ask me about the Isaiah 53 Conspiracy". Now that I don't have an Identity Crisis anymore, I'm too old to really live out my IDENTITY. JUDAISM needs a mission, an application for all of that learning in the GOYIM world. CHOSEN means to Shine The Light Of The Hebrew T.N.K. to the GOYIM. This is how we save and preserve JUDAISM, with it having a PURPOSE outside of our BUBBLES.
In the eyes of the Orthodox jews, you'll always be viewed as subhuman as a goy
My teenage boys are off the derech because they say they want to have fun and play sports and go to the beach on Shabbos and eat in non kosher restaurants with their friends. They feel restricted on Shabbos and holidays and kashrut. They want to dress the ways they want and go to public universities. They won’t listen to us. They used to love going to shul No more. Their sports games are more important
Chabad had a lot to do with them turning off sad to say.
Going off what you have written, and daring to opine because you posted this here;
I would assure you that in the long run, their state is temporary and they will probably come around. Probably sooner than you think.
Maybe it's not easy now, but take heart.
@@menachemporter5367 and they met these secular teens at our chabad house who invited them over after shul on Shabbos to their homes and watch movies and drive them to the mall. Our chabad makes activities for these teens boys and girls mixed and they go fun places with them. My boys like this and have secular non observant girlfriends who they met at chabad shul. My boys are 18 and don’t wear kippah or put on tefillin or go to shul anymore. They are out having fun with their friends who they met at Chabad. The rabbi has no influence on them.
This is always very sad to hear. Right now they are under poor influences and their reasons are very superficial- this isn't a truth thing for them, it's a false narrative that they think they are more free by doing whatever they want..
My best advice would simply be an example of an erliche yid. As they grow up they'll see the gross behavior of the world, but see you as a shining example of a human being. They'll want to slowly emulated your lifestyle and realize there must be some truth to it.
Note I'm speaking as someone who's done teshuva.
It's tough but Hashem chose this for you and your kids, IYH they'll see the beauty of yiddishkeidt, B'atzlacha
I so disagree with manaclhenporter. The rabby explains it so simple and prisize. Listen again to the beginning please.
It would be more dignified if the Jews talked about their way of translating the Bible, and the Christians told each other their way of their Bible. These are two different worlds. No comparisons with the "neighbor" - everyone knows himself.
Off the derech means one thing only, not following the Torah. It’s not complicated.
Children go off the derech because they chose to. Every child has some kind of trauma according to this speaker because nobody is perfect. But not everyone goes off the derech . It’s their choice and giving excuses for them is wrong. It’s up to every parent to decide whether they want that child in their house or not. This thing of showing love to a child that chose to hurt you has no basis in reality.
You never EVER disown a child. It's unthinkable!
When G-d forbid someone has a child with special needs, not only do they not disown the child, on the contrary, they show even MORE love and compassion towards him or her.
The same thing applies in ruchnius!!!
@@Mendy-l6k In the good old days before we had this new fangled system, a child that wanted to off the derech we sat shiva for. We didn’t start showering the child with love after decided to make wrong choices. And under no circumstances would I have such a child in my house. I’m not going to reward bad behaviour. That’s what the looney left do.
it doesn't matter what you read or study or follow if it isn't ANOINTED (blood of Hashem): You will use your ego (evil Shepherd whose arm will be clean dried up and his eye darkened) when the wolf comes: You won't KNOW MESSIAH till you RECEIVE HIM and you won't receive him without 30 pieces of silver (LAMED) Malachai 3, Zech 11
get your silver cleansed and get enough of it if you want the OFFERING OF JUDAH to be pleasant to the LORD
Cap