It SO hard finding a middle ground between restricting and binging. It's one or the other for me. So black and white. I can't just intuitively eat, that makes me want to restrict. I can't let go of the want to lose weight. It seems impossible to accept who I am or give any kind of compassion to myself.
It can be SO hard to break that cycle. Most people in the binge/restrict need to give up the restriction first, which does often mean some backlash compulsive eating. The primal hunger tends to calm down after a while, but this can take months, which can be pretty scary. Have a look at some stories on people who have done ‘all in’ recovery. It may help normalise some of this stuff for you, even if you don’t think it’s the best approach for you ❤️
I wish you lived in my head steering me away from my chaotic and crazy behaviours. Your videos are so helpful and give such good advice. Thank you so much for your hard work on producing all your output.
I'm SO glad to have found your channel, Sarah! Your videos are helping me change the way I deal with my emotional binge eating. One thing that has really worked for me, that you're talking about in this video, is allowing myself to eat. I've tried the advice of not having anything unhealthy in my home. When my cravings hit, I am out of control going through my kitchen cabinets to find something - anything - to stuff in my face. A while ago, I decided to try your method. I have chocolates, cookies, salty nuts, and chips stored (out of sight so that I'm not triggered when I open a cabinet looking for something else) and when those strong cravings hit, it's ok. I can have what I'm craving as long as I eat it slowly. Since I made this change, my cravings are fewer and weaker than ever before. Thank you! 🤗
The continued desire to lose weight gets me so frustrated with myself. My body does so much for me everyday, yet I cannot achieve a real belief in body neutrality. I am self-compassionate but I can’t shake this - I’m just doing my best to keep calling myself out on self and body judgment every day, I am hoping I can see some progress soon. Keep going!
Your message about accepting our past actions is so helpful. You're right. Fighting with reality is a sure way to stay stuck in despair. I tried to eliminate the parts of my past self that i didn't like. The result was that i buried anger, shame, and grief further down into my pysche, which created deeper pain and suffering. Now i practice self compassion, and I've befriended the parts of myself that I labeled as bad and unworthy. I give myself love and respect instead of judgments and criticism. I feel more peaceful and alive now. Dr. Kristin Neff has some wonderful books on self compassion you might enjoy. She has a channel as well.
I’ve had little glimpses of “success” lately. I guess IE would call it “crystallization.” Making food choices and choices to listen to my body’s cues…because it actually feels good in the long run. All though compassion and permission to eat! Sometimes letting go of self-judgment…leaves my mind kind of empty…cause the critical voice is so often all that’s there. But it’s a nice break for something nicer to come in!
Your videos have helped me so much. My eating has been so much better. Things you’ve said stay with me even when I’m not struggling. I’m able to see my progress. I don’t worry as much about what’s going to happen and I’m better able to relax around eating. Thank you so much. Who am I without the pain I inflicted on myself unknowingly.? This makes me sad to even say it. Now I can learn what a great person I am underneath all that pain. There really is a skinny girl waiting to get out and she is the most beautiful inside and outside. That makes me happy. Seems weird to believe in myself but I think I like it after I take a few deep breaths. Thanks again.
You are soooo correct. I stumbled on this a month or so ago. I have trouble binging on chocolate in the evenings… so i began eating an appropriate amount in the mornings right after a healthy breakfast. It really seemed to help me. Thank you Sarah for all you do for us ❤
i have had food issues so many years, i havent a clue real hunger, real cravings, appropriate amounts, and I really dont KNOW what i really WANT to eat. I found that restriction completely is the only thing i do! Doesnt matter what i weigh, i feel out of control unless i just DONT eat much. Just enough to survive. That is safe for me.😢. These videos help so much to try to understand all this.
It's amazing when you give yourself permission. In my case, during a very restrictive phase I would buy chocolate bars and I'd never eat them or I had to go and look at all the chocolate in a particular shop. Once I gave myself permission I actually found that I didnt like chocolate as much as I thought I did. Dont get me wrong occasionally I'll eat it but it doesnt have a hold on me. I dont go in that chocolate shop anymore, I think I went about 3 times at the start of recovery 2 years a go. Obviously cant say I'm completely recovered but I'm here watching this channel due to binging but not restricting like I was but there's still a lot of stuff mentally, rules, weighing myself and generally wanting to lose weight.
TRhank you! I am trying recovering from ED ana, but do not succeed with any "all in" or planned. I am trying a combination of "all in" and mindful eating. I found your channel looking for that. This video is a help for us who cant do some boxed package of "recover doing THIS" but need something in between and a lot of thinking to prevent extremes.
For one year I am really trying to change and get rid of this. Before , I was not aware of that much maybe my binges never were severe it happens once in a week sometimes once in twice a week. But for one year I am so aware of and I am trying to change but I am failing a lot. Actually I was just 2 months free from binges but then it started again, and every time I say to myself it is okay try again start from now but it is not okay it is definitely not okay. My only focus for my life now this because I want to end this and continue to my future life. It affects my productivity, my willingness, my happiness, my confidence. It will be much more hard times in my life in my work and if I cannot get rid of this bad habit, I cannot get through of other bad events in my life
I would love to hear an answer 🙏Is it okay for me to say “I’m gonna stop focusing on weight loss for now and heal from my ed than I can focus on exercising, watching my calories that way I can lose weight and have my dream body.” Because I can’t get over the dilemma of when I say to myself I’m not gonna focus on weight loss I eventually think that what’s the point in healing . If it’s okay to think about losing weight after recovery I will be extremely relieved.❤
Dealing with failure it is so so hard. Because my binges not so high level as used to be. But still I have some over eating problems maybe slight binge sometimes I am trying to change this behavior so hard for this year. I am going okay okay then falling this trap again but I promised myself I was okay but then I failed after two days I failed again. When we fail that much I am losing my confidence anymore and that’s also bad. Sometimes I don’t trust myself. Especially this two weeks I have failed a lot and I lost my confidence
Two months ago I started eating my fill three times a day without restrictions. No more eating at night, no more snacking between meals during the day...I felt free. This lasted about a month. Then one day two co-workers told me I had gained weight. I got on the scale and saw the extra ten pounds. I dropped everything and went back to my chaotic eating. I know it's stupid but the idea of gaining weight (me who is already overweight) is intolerable to me.
I find ANY deviation from my current chaotic eating is a diet. I binge graze sugar, chocolate, cake, croissants all day. When i commit to 3 meals and snacks no matter what I eat this is a diet to me! How do I change this thinking?
I’m not able to answer that. As an eating disorder therapist I focus on helping people heal their relationship with food and stop bingeing. If someone has done that and they want to try to intentionally lose weight there are many other voices out there they can listen to. My approach is weight neutral, which doesn’t mean I think trying to lose weight is wrong, just that I see it really messes a lot of people up. My approach would involve building up health supporting habits rather than chasing weight loss as the focus on weight directly seems to trigger many people back into disordered eating (if they struggled with disordered eating in the first place). It’s so individual. What’s ok for one person may not be ok for the other. Each person needs to figure out what works for them.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thank you very much for replying. That was my worry, that going back into a weight loss space or focusing on weight loss would mess me up again, and I didn't want that at all because now that I am in a place where I am not binging all of the time or obsessed with food and mentally knocking myself down, I never want to go back there. But, I am trying to be realistic about my physical situation as well. What you mention about health supporting habits over intentional weight loss sounds like a much kinder way to go about looking at my health. It' is very different being a position where I am needing to lose weight for medical reasons as opposed to reasons that are unhealthy or unhelpful to me. I'm really going to think on what you've said, thank you so much!
@@miomio6890 Sort of. I only keep tasty whole foods in my house and mostly cook at home. I don't do big grocery trips, and keep only what I need for a week or two around to cut down on the feeling of having 'so much food!' If I do want a treat of some kind, I have to go out and get it, and I only get 1-2 portions at the most and really enjoy it when I have it. And I don't allow myself to do that every day, but I don't limit it to only one day a week either. I've learned that I can not track calories or macros without going getting food noise and madness, but I can do intermittent fasting - eat breakfast a couple hours later, stop eating a few hours earlier several days a week (not suggesting others do this. Saying it to show that I had to find out what I could and couldn't do for myself to manage my eating while not going crazy with it). I've learned that having some discipline and self control with my eating is okay, and even mentally helpful (as opposed to just having an eating free for all), but too much sends me to a bad place mentally and causes binges and body issues. I've really worked on and learned that life is not meant to be be an easy ride, always calm and peaceful with no challenges or mental struggles, and a person is meant to cultivate self discipline and the ability to tell themselves "no" without it being a huge emotional thing or triggering a binge. I was never taught or had this enforced to me as a child, so I have to teach myself these things as an adult. Like teaching a kid how to say no to things and control themselves without having a tantrum about it. (Again, not saying anyone should try this, only that it has really helped me.) I've read some things on stoicism that helped with this, but more than anything, a lot of just being honest with myself, and telling myself "no" and meaning it, when I think what I am doing or eating is going to be really bad for me mentally or physically. While also allowing myself to indulge on my own terms, not the terms of my ED.
Im a diabetic for 25 years and I binge. How do I be ok with bingeing? My sugar goes up and down and without restriction my sugar stays higher and then goes all the insulin I have to take. My indo is not happy with me 😩
Check out this account as she talks about diabetes and blood sugars from a medically-informed, non restrictive perspective instagram.com/foodfreedomdiabetes?igsh=MTFhdzUxdHl5Z253aA==
I have pretty nuanced opinions on this; I think these can help some people and make it worse for others. I deliberately stay away from discussing these on social media as they are a medical intervention and I don’t feel comfortable from an ethics perspective being an influencing factor in people making these medical decisions. Never say never, but at the moment my stance is to avoid talking about these on social media and focusing on the emotional and psychological.
I see it as an addiction. So do we think people who are addicted to smoking are traumatized and numbing out? I don't feel guilty about bingeing and am happy....
The human experience of this or any addictive-like behaviours is so diverse that what is true for one may not be true for another. For me, treating my bingeing eating as an addiction only made it worse, but for someone else it could be helpful. Trauma is a risk factor for addictions AND I think addictions can develop independently of trauma. Smoking cigarettes just doesn't have a numbing effect on the body whereas drugs, alcohol and food do so it's always going to look a bit different
I do chase weight loss though and have been stuck in the restrict,/binge cycle. I find Ur suggestions re chaos and planning helpful as I think I'm on the ADHD spectrum especially with food
I eat once a day for almost a decade but I have serious issues that are impacting my life negatively. When I see "binge eating" in your titles or thumbnails, I always think "hmm, I'm not a binge eater so this is not for me" :D Am I wrong to think that?
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thanks for the reply. let me put it a different way. When you use the term "binge eating" does that mean you are not targeting people who only eat once a day? Or, who is your target audience when you talk about binge eating?
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Thank you for not making us feel - lazy, disgusting, weak, hopeless
Such a breath of fresh air right?
@@WiseMindNutrition Yes, so wonderful!
It SO hard finding a middle ground between restricting and binging. It's one or the other for me. So black and white. I can't just intuitively eat, that makes me want to restrict. I can't let go of the want to lose weight. It seems impossible to accept who I am or give any kind of compassion to myself.
It can be SO hard to break that cycle. Most people in the binge/restrict need to give up the restriction first, which does often mean some backlash compulsive eating. The primal hunger tends to calm down after a while, but this can take months, which can be pretty scary. Have a look at some stories on people who have done ‘all in’ recovery. It may help normalise some of this stuff for you, even if you don’t think it’s the best approach for you ❤️
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thank you
That’s exactly where I’m stuck - and have been for decades. Thank you, Sarah, for your positivity. ❤
Try structured eating!
I relate completely to your comment
I wish you lived in my head steering me away from my chaotic and crazy behaviours. Your videos are so helpful and give such good advice. Thank you so much for your hard work on producing all your output.
I'm SO glad to have found your channel, Sarah! Your videos are helping me change the way I deal with my emotional binge eating. One thing that has really worked for me, that you're talking about in this video, is allowing myself to eat. I've tried the advice of not having anything unhealthy in my home. When my cravings hit, I am out of control going through my kitchen cabinets to find something - anything - to stuff in my face. A while ago, I decided to try your method. I have chocolates, cookies, salty nuts, and chips stored (out of sight so that I'm not triggered when I open a cabinet looking for something else) and when those strong cravings hit, it's ok. I can have what I'm craving as long as I eat it slowly. Since I made this change, my cravings are fewer and weaker than ever before. Thank you! 🤗
The continued desire to lose weight gets me so frustrated with myself. My body does so much for me everyday, yet I cannot achieve a real belief in body neutrality. I am self-compassionate but I can’t shake this - I’m just doing my best to keep calling myself out on self and body judgment every day, I am hoping I can see some progress soon. Keep going!
Your message about accepting our past actions is so helpful. You're right. Fighting with reality is a sure way to stay stuck in despair. I tried to eliminate the parts of my past self that i didn't like. The result was that i buried anger, shame, and grief further down into my pysche, which created deeper pain and suffering.
Now i practice self compassion, and I've befriended the parts of myself that I labeled as bad and unworthy. I give myself love and respect instead of judgments and criticism. I feel more peaceful and alive now.
Dr. Kristin Neff has some wonderful books on self compassion you might enjoy. She has a channel as well.
I’ve had little glimpses of “success” lately. I guess IE would call it “crystallization.” Making food choices and choices to listen to my body’s cues…because it actually feels good in the long run. All though compassion and permission to eat! Sometimes letting go of self-judgment…leaves my mind kind of empty…cause the critical voice is so often all that’s there. But it’s a nice break for something nicer to come in!
Your videos have helped me so much. My eating has been so much better. Things you’ve said stay with me even when I’m not struggling. I’m able to see my progress. I don’t worry as much about what’s going to happen and I’m better able to relax around eating. Thank you so much. Who am I without the pain I inflicted on myself unknowingly.? This makes me sad to even say it. Now I can learn what a great person I am underneath all that pain. There really is a skinny girl waiting to get out and she is the most beautiful inside and outside. That makes me happy. Seems weird to believe in myself but I think I like it after I take a few deep breaths. Thanks again.
You express the thoughts that so many of us have so articulately.
You have so much insight.
Thank you for the work you do ❤
🙌🏼 I need to listen to this daily 💞
You are soooo correct. I stumbled on this a month or so ago. I have trouble binging on chocolate in the evenings… so i began eating an appropriate amount in the mornings right after a healthy breakfast. It really seemed to help me. Thank you Sarah for all you do for us ❤
i have had food issues so many years, i havent a clue real hunger, real cravings, appropriate amounts, and I really dont KNOW what i really WANT to eat. I found that restriction completely is the only thing i do! Doesnt matter what i weigh, i feel out of control unless i just DONT eat much. Just enough to survive. That is safe for me.😢. These videos help so much to try to understand all this.
❤🩹
Thank you so much for your content, I am recovering from binge eating and that's largely because of you. You are a blessing
This is so helpful. I'm going to watch it again soon to help it sink in
It's amazing when you give yourself permission.
In my case, during a very restrictive phase I would buy chocolate bars and I'd never eat them or I had to go and look at all the chocolate in a particular shop.
Once I gave myself permission I actually found that I didnt like chocolate as much as I thought I did. Dont get me wrong occasionally I'll eat it but it doesnt have a hold on me. I dont go in that chocolate shop anymore, I think I went about 3 times at the start of recovery 2 years a go.
Obviously cant say I'm completely recovered but I'm here watching this channel due to binging but not restricting like I was but there's still a lot of stuff mentally, rules, weighing myself and generally wanting to lose weight.
TRhank you! I am trying recovering from ED ana, but do not succeed with any "all in" or planned. I am trying a combination of "all in" and mindful eating. I found your channel looking for that. This video is a help for us who cant do some boxed package of "recover doing THIS" but need something in between and a lot of thinking to prevent extremes.
You say exactly what I have been needing to hear. I’ve learned so much from you and have been making progress. I can’t thank you enough!
I get so frustrated that I seem to fight with my brain, can’t we be on the same team?😂
Hi Sarah I'm struggling so much with my binge eating I need some help
Thank you so much for your efforts!
✌❤😁
Thank you for putting out all this content! I think listening to you more often will help!
For one year I am really trying to change and get rid of this. Before , I was not aware of that much maybe my binges never were severe it happens once in a week sometimes once in twice a week.
But for one year I am so aware of and I am trying to change but I am failing a lot. Actually I was just 2 months free from binges but then it started again, and every time I say to myself it is okay try again start from now but it is not okay it is definitely not okay. My only focus for my life now this because I want to end this and continue to my future life. It affects my productivity, my willingness, my happiness, my confidence.
It will be much more hard times in my life in my work and if I cannot get rid of this bad habit, I cannot get through of other bad events in my life
Another fabulous video! Thank you.
I would love to hear an answer 🙏Is it okay for me to say “I’m gonna stop focusing on weight loss for now and heal from my ed than I can focus on exercising, watching my calories that way I can lose weight and have my dream body.” Because I can’t get over the dilemma of when I say to myself I’m not gonna focus on weight loss I eventually think that what’s the point in healing . If it’s okay to think about losing weight after recovery I will be extremely relieved.❤
Dealing with failure it is so so hard. Because my binges not so high level as used to be. But still I have some over eating problems maybe slight binge sometimes
I am trying to change this behavior so hard for this year. I am going okay okay then falling this trap again but I promised myself I was okay but then I failed after two days I failed again. When we fail that much I am losing my confidence anymore and that’s also bad. Sometimes I don’t trust myself.
Especially this two weeks I have failed a lot and I lost my confidence
You are brilliant! Thank you for all your help ❤
Please put this in a book. It's life changing. Xxx❤
That is the plan 🤫
Your insight and guidance is invaluable! Thank you so much 🙂
Always love the analogies you use.
So good!
This video is life changing
Two months ago I started eating my fill three times a day without restrictions. No more eating at night, no more snacking between meals during the day...I felt free. This lasted about a month. Then one day two co-workers told me I had gained weight. I got on the scale and saw the extra ten pounds. I dropped everything and went back to my chaotic eating. I know it's stupid but the idea of gaining weight (me who is already overweight) is intolerable to me.
Great video Sarah thank you ❤
I find ANY deviation from my current chaotic eating is a diet. I binge graze sugar, chocolate, cake, croissants all day. When i commit to 3 meals and snacks no matter what I eat this is a diet to me! How do I change this thinking?
So helpful. Thanks a lot ❤❤❤
The REBEL! That is sooooo meeeeee!!!
I feel guilty eating my lunch because people see a fat person not eating a salad and you feel the judgement
After you've gotten a handle on binge eating, how do you then transition into healthy weight loss if one actually does have weight to lose?
I’m not able to answer that. As an eating disorder therapist I focus on helping people heal their relationship with food and stop bingeing. If someone has done that and they want to try to intentionally lose weight there are many other voices out there they can listen to.
My approach is weight neutral, which doesn’t mean I think trying to lose weight is wrong, just that I see it really messes a lot of people up.
My approach would involve building up health supporting habits rather than chasing weight loss as the focus on weight directly seems to trigger many people back into disordered eating (if they struggled with disordered eating in the first place).
It’s so individual. What’s ok for one person may not be ok for the other. Each person needs to figure out what works for them.
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thank you very much for replying. That was my worry, that going back into a weight loss space or focusing on weight loss would mess me up again, and I didn't want that at all because now that I am in a place where I am not binging all of the time or obsessed with food and mentally knocking myself down, I never want to go back there. But, I am trying to be realistic about my physical situation as well.
What you mention about health supporting habits over intentional weight loss sounds like a much kinder way to go about looking at my health. It' is very different being a position where I am needing to lose weight for medical reasons as opposed to reasons that are unhealthy or unhelpful to me. I'm really going to think on what you've said, thank you so much!
@@thatraccoonqueen did you figure it out?
@@miomio6890 Sort of. I only keep tasty whole foods in my house and mostly cook at home. I don't do big grocery trips, and keep only what I need for a week or two around to cut down on the feeling of having 'so much food!'
If I do want a treat of some kind, I have to go out and get it, and I only get 1-2 portions at the most and really enjoy it when I have it. And I don't allow myself to do that every day, but I don't limit it to only one day a week either.
I've learned that I can not track calories or macros without going getting food noise and madness, but I can do intermittent fasting - eat breakfast a couple hours later, stop eating a few hours earlier several days a week (not suggesting others do this. Saying it to show that I had to find out what I could and couldn't do for myself to manage my eating while not going crazy with it).
I've learned that having some discipline and self control with my eating is okay, and even mentally helpful (as opposed to just having an eating free for all), but too much sends me to a bad place mentally and causes binges and body issues.
I've really worked on and learned that life is not meant to be be an easy ride, always calm and peaceful with no challenges or mental struggles, and a person is meant to cultivate self discipline and the ability to tell themselves "no" without it being a huge emotional thing or triggering a binge. I was never taught or had this enforced to me as a child, so I have to teach myself these things as an adult. Like teaching a kid how to say no to things and control themselves without having a tantrum about it. (Again, not saying anyone should try this, only that it has really helped me.) I've read some things on stoicism that helped with this, but more than anything, a lot of just being honest with myself, and telling myself "no" and meaning it, when I think what I am doing or eating is going to be really bad for me mentally or physically. While also allowing myself to indulge on my own terms, not the terms of my ED.
Im a diabetic for 25 years and I binge. How do I be ok with bingeing? My sugar goes up and down and without restriction my sugar stays higher and then goes all the insulin I have to take. My indo is not happy with me 😩
Check out this account as she talks about diabetes and blood sugars from a medically-informed, non restrictive perspective instagram.com/foodfreedomdiabetes?igsh=MTFhdzUxdHl5Z253aA==
How do you feel about Vyvanse and Mounjaro? Id love to hear about your thoughts on both in a video or podcast
I have pretty nuanced opinions on this; I think these can help some people and make it worse for others. I deliberately stay away from discussing these on social media as they are a medical intervention and I don’t feel comfortable from an ethics perspective being an influencing factor in people making these medical decisions.
Never say never, but at the moment my stance is to avoid talking about these on social media and focusing on the emotional and psychological.
I see it as an addiction. So do we think people who are addicted to smoking are traumatized and numbing out? I don't feel guilty about bingeing and am happy....
The human experience of this or any addictive-like behaviours is so diverse that what is true for one may not be true for another. For me, treating my bingeing eating as an addiction only made it worse, but for someone else it could be helpful.
Trauma is a risk factor for addictions AND I think addictions can develop independently of trauma. Smoking cigarettes just doesn't have a numbing effect on the body whereas drugs, alcohol and food do so it's always going to look a bit different
I do chase weight loss though and have been stuck in the restrict,/binge cycle. I find Ur suggestions re chaos and planning helpful as I think I'm on the ADHD spectrum especially with food
I eat once a day for almost a decade but I have serious issues that are impacting my life negatively. When I see "binge eating" in your titles or thumbnails, I always think "hmm, I'm not a binge eater so this is not for me" :D Am I wrong to think that?
Not wrong at all! You are the expert of your experience and you can use whatever language or concepts that make the most sense to you
@@TheBingeEatingTherapist Thanks for the reply. let me put it a different way. When you use the term "binge eating" does that mean you are not targeting people who only eat once a day? Or, who is your target audience when you talk about binge eating?
How do you literally just read my thoughts?
It’s a gift 😉
My Cognitive dissonance who make this act..