A Mentalist Guide to Social Interaction | Tom Indigo | TEDxBismarck

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 107

  • @mayne159
    @mayne159 4 ปีที่แล้ว +255

    1. Be bold
    Unlearn your social fears
    Notice and compliment people
    2. Be a good listener
    Be active, dont hijack the convo
    Nod 3 three times to stay alert
    3. Be passionate
    Everyone is unique, try to learn sthg abt them
    Be passionate when ure talking

    • @anidane4287
      @anidane4287 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks You saved my time

    • @chaindawgR6
      @chaindawgR6 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thanks, this is apart of my homework lolol

    • @thomafuad6523
      @thomafuad6523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      😌😌😌 I’m Noding

    • @zaiyuanlu8751
      @zaiyuanlu8751 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      A+ student, I'll use your summary, thanks

    • @bastian7106
      @bastian7106 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hate how you write but thanks you

  • @kit8209
    @kit8209 3 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I never really learned how to interact properly in elementary school due to a lot of friendship issues and overall bad friendships that negatively affected both me and others. I also happen to have adhd and go on rants a lot and I’m trying to become more self aware, this was very helpful

    • @love-su1ez
      @love-su1ez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      As someone who has anxiety I actually like when ppl with adhd ramble. I hope this doesn’t sound weird but I find it kind of cute. Idk why. Since I don’t talk much (at least at first) I don’t mind listening 🙃 but becoming more self aware is great hope it’s going well

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here. I didn’t realize it back when I gave this talk, but a big part of the content can especially help fellow neurodivergent folks consolidate their social deficits. May your quest for better social awareness be a fruitful one!

  • @DAMfoxygrampa
    @DAMfoxygrampa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    This is basically the 80/20 principle applied to social interaction. These few tips will give you 80% of the results. Good advice

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Spot on! Thank you for the kind words 😊

    • @TradeEchelon
      @TradeEchelon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I like what you said. It gives me hope I can become a better version of myself in the future.

  • @losto9247
    @losto9247 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    If you show you vulnerability and get upset because another person or people took advantage of that, remember it is not you, it is them - sociopaths. So don’t get too angry or upset, notice situation and find gratitude to whatever happened. Because thanks to universe you were given an opportunity to kick toxic people out from your life and learn ❤️👌😌peace

  • @aisuluuduisheeva2648
    @aisuluuduisheeva2648 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have never thought that being vulnerable is showing your genuineness toward a person you are talking to.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You know, if I had more time on this talk I’d have expanded on that point. We all wear “masks” for various social contexts in an effort to fit in. Unfortunately, the price of fitting in can often be a weakened genuine connection.

  • @videologs2400
    @videologs2400 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Most underrated video...better than numerous other conversation or social videos.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Video Logs Thank you for the kind words! I’m glad it helped 🙂

    • @videologs2400
      @videologs2400 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tomindigo3254 😊😊

  • @PlantagenetRose
    @PlantagenetRose 5 ปีที่แล้ว +396

    Social anxiety brought me here

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Chim Chim Panda Social anxiety is why I ended up on that stage! Hope you got something good out of it 🙂

    • @princealmighty5391
      @princealmighty5391 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Nice profile picture buddy! Very flash

    • @Michael-go9hm
      @Michael-go9hm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      AHAHAHA and for me, it dragged me here

    • @todabsolute
      @todabsolute 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I had the same issue before, but now I just hate interaction with people. They hate me when I'm being honest but judge me when I lie

    • @marveon9815
      @marveon9815 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yep 🥴

  • @asariqbal5341
    @asariqbal5341 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Great!
    Being an active and patient listener is really important 👍

  • @Michael-go9hm
    @Michael-go9hm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    This guy was awesome, reminds me of my older brother

  • @buatamante62
    @buatamante62 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Honestly a great video! Hopefully I can incorporate this!

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Anthony Bustamante I hope it goes well for you! I tried to make it as tangible and practical as possible

  • @soilmilk4712
    @soilmilk4712 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    School's starts next week and definitely my lack of social interaction has brought me here.

  • @jasonfreeman5850
    @jasonfreeman5850 ปีที่แล้ว

    Grateful for self.. and this video!!!

  • @urdin2242
    @urdin2242 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You laid it out exactly how I needed. Thank you, man.

  • @franciscopham6596
    @franciscopham6596 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    all I do is listen. I have nothing to say back is the problem

  • @g0rdo176
    @g0rdo176 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video changed my life

  • @BiowareKaiserGirl
    @BiowareKaiserGirl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am not sure what it is but I never knew what to say around people most of the time. I listen to what they are talking about and I never know whay to add that isn't awkward weird. I tried it before I just get a look and a awkward response and things move on again... it is do tiring..

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I hear you. The same thing used to happen to me ALL the time. One tip that helps me is “be more interested than interesting”.
      Basically, ask open ended questions about the other person. Get a sense of what excites them as they answer, and then follow up with another open question that lets them dive deeper into whatever excited them.
      Nothing you say or do can interest people more than themselves. Once they ask you something in return (Assuming they’re polite and socially cognizant), there’s no shame in having a couple of “scripted” responses. Put some thought into how you respond to common questions, and figure out how to answer in a concise and charming way.
      Hope that helps a little 😊

  • @NabiryeDoreen-de5mq
    @NabiryeDoreen-de5mq ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you

  • @ff-kr9mn
    @ff-kr9mn 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    It was a nice talk. Learned something interesting. Thank you so much Tom🙂

  • @lykimgech3806
    @lykimgech3806 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thx q so much. This deserves more views

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ly Kimgech Thank you so much 😊

  • @philmcgroin
    @philmcgroin ปีที่แล้ว +1

    For a lifechaning book on this subject, see:
    The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane

  • @Michael-go9hm
    @Michael-go9hm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was great and simple to grasp

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Michael M Thank you for this kind words 😊

  • @dr.magdahhassan5580
    @dr.magdahhassan5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Nice talk. Thanks a lot.

  • @allxson_k
    @allxson_k 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm here bc our face to face class is about to start.

  • @sujith0999
    @sujith0999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great speech. .I can't understand why the viewers number is so less. ..

  • @kartiksarode7726
    @kartiksarode7726 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really helping me

  • @candykandy
    @candykandy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great tips. Thank you!

  • @meenaxirana2695
    @meenaxirana2695 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Well said!

  • @sbo6477
    @sbo6477 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Everyones on social media which is anything but social so spending hours a day being anti-social then when actual social interaction occurrs you are prohibited

  • @JustmeSEVEN
    @JustmeSEVEN 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "it's easier to present our best self on screen"
    Me: yeah yeah •-•

  • @matta9358
    @matta9358 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good video, belongs on the main channel really.

  • @Ctskates
    @Ctskates ปีที่แล้ว

    I smoked my social skills out the window so im hoping this will help.

  • @richard-social8125
    @richard-social8125 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Is this meant to advice for work environemnts as well.

  • @ericmartinez7322
    @ericmartinez7322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    10:52 time stamp no
    offense but what works for you does not work for me.

  • @Keylight1
    @Keylight1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I packaged it alright!

  • @carrie5194
    @carrie5194 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I have to meet my crush's friends in two days and I rlly don't want to mess it up... 🙃being introverted sucks sometimes

  • @anonymousperson3433
    @anonymousperson3433 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    3:05

  • @bydiebydie5535
    @bydiebydie5535 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great video!!!

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bydie Bydie Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

  • @jacketw6855
    @jacketw6855 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is a valuable speech but if I would look around standing on a bus and I would compliment to a stranger, I guess that would be that cringe situation that the stranger and the other passangers would remember for a long time. Once I did something similar, although not complimenting, but it became a painful regret.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sometimes you’ll feel self conscious or cringey when you first start. That’s ok, it’s part of the learning process. Even when you are cringey, 99% of the time people just forget about you. You have nothing to lose by being kind 🙂

    • @joshuasihombing8340
      @joshuasihombing8340 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you sure? Are you sure it would be cringe? Are you sure they would remember it for a long time? Are you sure they would even care about you? Sometimes it's about being strong for get rejected, and that's called confidence

  • @azkcm
    @azkcm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Em, you also need to be that good looking to show compliment to a stranger or they would think that you are a weirdo, wouldn’t they?

    • @ZTheLastViking
      @ZTheLastViking 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's what I thought too
      It's not just what is said but also who gives the compliment that matters

    • @robertochacon5338
      @robertochacon5338 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      that's why the compliment must be neutral. like on the shirt, not on the boobs... LOL

  • @mirouu13
    @mirouu13 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Nice

  • @coordinator3039
    @coordinator3039 ปีที่แล้ว

    Here because of someone who made me realize I need a doctor.

  • @MirzaTauqirYoutube
    @MirzaTauqirYoutube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Million dollar content but only 45k views

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re too kind! You can always help by sharing on social media.

  • @yonotthatguy
    @yonotthatguy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    isn't it people pleasure mentality?

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Good question! People-pleasing is generally the term used to describe sacrificing your own well-being to make others feel better. I certainly don’t advocate that.
      But I do advocate making people happy whenever it’s feasible for you. After all, what do you have to lose?

    • @TradeEchelon
      @TradeEchelon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@tomindigo3254 I agree!

  • @HDLitch
    @HDLitch 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I can do 1 and 2 not 3 though

  • @paragbharadia2895
    @paragbharadia2895 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    you are god!

  • @mazzerdorazio2433
    @mazzerdorazio2433 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The MLM recruiters that hang out in Target watched this video

  • @TheLGNDAslan
    @TheLGNDAslan 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    COVID-19 Brought Me Here.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Now that COVID-19 restrictions are lifting, I hope you’ll try flexing your social muscles 🙂

  • @elizabethbanks2074
    @elizabethbanks2074 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The guy seems a little off on stage. Wonder if he’s tried taking an acting class.

    • @tomindigo3254
      @tomindigo3254 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Good eye! Truth be told, I was completely off my game that day. Several things behind the scenes took place that made it difficult for me to switch into performance mode. Plus, I was pretty nervous because I built up the idea of a TEDx talk so highly in my head. But I was lucky that the message came across and seemed to benefit my audience.

  • @alexplingu4373
    @alexplingu4373 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    second

  • @Wally12936
    @Wally12936 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    First

  • @triniSOCCERdude1
    @triniSOCCERdude1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    im sure he was using magic to hit on girls in the street. totaly pick up artist thing...nice! B)

  • @adventurousone5077
    @adventurousone5077 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Give your life to Jesus Christ. Believe and pray:
    *God, I know I'm a sinner. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, died on the cross for my sins and arose again on the 3rd day. I confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and accept Him as my Savior. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.*
    It's about making a choice. Really believe. Speak it aloud and mean it.

  • @loombaron
    @loombaron ปีที่แล้ว

    be bold, not italic

  • @chrishill1800
    @chrishill1800 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ted talks are so boring