3 UPDATES: Ex-Wife Gets The Custody of Our Child And 9 Days Later I Find Her Alone on my Driveaway..
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- 3 UPDATES: Ex-Wife Gets The Custody of Our Child And 9 Days Later I Find Her Alone on my Driveaway With a Note...But I Knew it Was Her Trap to Extort me so I DId THIS....She Ended up Losing Custody & $25,000
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#aita #reddit #relationships #redditaita #aitareddit
It all starts with the heartbreaking discovery of my ex-wife's infidelity.
My ex-wife, Danielle, and I were together for 6 years. Our relationship was the typical story of work colleagues who eventually fell in love. We both were working at the same company until I got offered a much better position in another company so we could date more openly. We eventually got more serious, got married, and had a beautiful daughter called Sara.
It had been years since I had seen my parents so for Thanksgiving, we decided to make plans to visit them and spend some time with them. Sara also needed to spend some quality time with her grandparents to feel connected to my roots. When we arrived, we were warmly greeted by my parents who were extremely excited to meet Sara. That night's dinner was great with my parents as we talked about all the moments we had missed being there for each other.
Sara was getting tired so I excused myself to put her to bed as Danielle and my parents continued to talk. Like all kids, she started pleading with me to allow her to play video games with her for some time. Looking at her pleading eyes, I finally gave in. We played a game on her tablet for a while. It was so interesting that I lost track of time until I realized it was too late and she needed to sleep. I took the tablet from her, put her to bed, and headed out. I heard Danielle still talking to my parents so I sat down on the couch in our living room to continue playing the game on the tablet.
I can't stand people who use the excuse of their partner working hard as a reason to cheat. Such disgusting, selfish people.
Quite often it's the people sitting at home doing nothing while their partner works so much to support their lazy ass.
Not to mention to keep playing victim to everyone despite everyone knowing she wasn't and had no excuse to cheat. She only played victim because she was caught.
I do think homemakers don't get enough social stimulation like you do from work and can feel starved for attention during the day - but there are so many other activities to alleviate that outside of cheating.
agreed, I can understand how one partner working too much could be one of the reasons why a relationship would end, but it's not an excuse to cheat
@@krisCrashTV in this case the daughter was in school. She had plenty of opportunity to work. Maybe OP wouldn’t have had to work as much if she did.
I would report the ex wife abandon their daughter without letting op know she was dropping their daughter at op place and then I would file for custody of their daughter and go no contact with Danielle and anyone who sides with her.
CPS needs to intervene to protect the new baby if Danielle is going out and getting drunk while pregnant.
Both comments well said
@@ladyv5655 Agreed. Not only does CPS need to intervene to protect the new baby, they should also have a social worker in the delivery room with Danielle, take the new baby away from her, and give the baby to an adopting couple, the moment, she gives birth, and have a doctor transfer Danielle to the operating room to surgically sterilize her, so that, she can't have any more children to harm or use to get money.
A mother is not necessarily always the best to look after a child. A father can be just capable.
"I'll put one child in danger to get more money for the other." "I'll also drink while knowingly pregnant!" A great way to lose your second child too, and THAT'S probably why the ex-in laws are freaking out. OP needs to stay strong.
Agreed.
Absolutely 👍🏻
A few drinks at the start of a pregnancy ain’t so bad, my mom would have like two or after work while she was pregnant for me and i turned out great💯 I’m the smartest kid on the short bus, I can tell what different type of dirt would taste like just by looking at them and I’m able to count to 7 all by myself😺
@@andrebirds6308😂
If Sarah and Danielle were staying with Danielle's parents, wouldn't the grandparents be complicit in the neglect of Sarah and the misappropriation of the child support $$$? Sounds like they knew Danielle was unstable but they ran defense for her at Sarah's expense.
Once CPS got involved there was no dropping charges
Or OP could lose his Daughter too! This is one great Dad ❤
50/50 custody and he pays child support? That's just wrong.
Must be a huge disparity in income for that to happen.
@@SherwoodyNot always, there are a lot of states where they push for it because it's, essentially more tax money one way or another since the government takes a cut of it. Texas is a really bad example of that where they'll force custody issues at times when the parents have one entirely worked out because CPS gets a cut of the money if there is Alimoney or Child Support.
It might also be one where the support is intended to balance out things like rent or similar if there is a paid off house in the mix.
@@AzraelThanatos Something like that happened to my sister and ex and they weren't even married. When they split it was amicable and they sorted out custody/support themselves, it wasn't good enough for the cps in the state they lived in (N.T. Australia).
@@neil999ish There are a pile of different lawsuits targeting CPS in Texas over it as of the last time I'd dug into it because, at first I didn't think that could be possible and then there were the reports all over with a search.
They're also one of the quickest to jump into a complete rework of things if one of the parents moves to Texas which creates a massive mess in and of itself.
Not as wrong as forcing a man to pay child support from an affair child just because he was still married when the child was wrong, so the law penalize responsible men and rewards lazy and deadbeat men and women, why don't go after the affair partner? And if the woman doesn't wanna say then make her take full responsibility of her actions, I hope more man would sue the system so the law could change.
Crazy, Chad the dude ex wife cheated with and destroyed her family for knocked her up and then ditched her. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Chad doesn’t want to be a dad.
Yep. Stroll down FA Boulevard and you eventually come out on FO Street………
Make this a meme and maybe hustle TShirts @weltonvillegal6258
@@weltonvillegal6258😂😂😂😂
Well she destroyed family by herself
Even if she was going through some "mental state," it does not excuse the fact she left the child on the driveway for one hour without informing the father. Anything could had happened during that hour. So she deserved the consequences.
The "mental state" is even more reason.
@@MrBeevee5 ironically true
I was about to pretty much comment the same thing. It really annoys me in these stories when someone pulls a stunt like this and their loved ones (even the people they've victimized and screwed over) have the attitude of, "Yeah, they messed up, but they must have something wrong with them mentally. They just need a lot of psychological help." No, what they need is to accept that there are adult consequences to screw-ups like this.
@@whitneybennett4857 kinda like when people use autism for bad behavior of their kids. Except plenty of people who has that said otherwise of no excuse for it
I have a mild form of autism, but I can only imagine what my mom's response would be if I called her up to bail me out after doing something like that. Probably, "Well, all I can say is you better get used to prison food because your a** is staying in there." Lol yeah, my mom's always made it clear that regardless of the circumstances, doing crap like that (let alone breaking the law) won't slide.@@tailsofchaos
Cool the good dad got custody of his little girl and no longer has to deal with his ex wife and POS daughter's mother.
I'm glad OP has of his daughter, too, because, if he didn't, that poor kid would've been on her way to the foster care system.
Because of the grandparents, I don’t see the daughter being put into foster care. However, why was the child wearing old clothes. My thought was that mom returned the clothes to the store, and spent the money on herself.
@@Sherwoody If someone got wind of that they WOULD call social services to place the daughter in the foster care system, and the new baby with another family, through closed adoption.
@@Sherwoodyshe was selling them. I wonder how much time elapsed between Chad leaving her. Und her starting to sell Sarah's stuff.
Danielle is delusional he’s working his butt off for his family and she’s cheating. There is no excuse.
Your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you.
I think if Danielle‘s parents would have raised her better with some morals and values things would’ve went a lot better. The fact that they’re begging and pleading to have their daughter free of all charges after she endangered the life of their granddaughter is disturbing it shows that they have zero concern or love for their grandchildis also sad that a mother could do that to her child. But then again, mothers do worse things to their children every single day.
Right, I was like F your daughter I’m trying to protect my daughter.
Unfortunately you can raise children with 'morals and values', but unfortunately they can always 'rebel' or go college etc and be pumped full of bs and turn out awful.
The ultimate blame is on the person who does the wrong!
Agreed. And I'll tell you one thing, Danielle's parents wouldn't care if Sara ends up in foster care.
They didn’t think it was a big deal, abandoning a little girl and spending the money that you sent for her being spent on other things🤦♀️
Agreed, Danielle's parents are too damn naive.😠
Drinking while being pregnant is never right, it's damaging, why would someone do that to their baby to be? Selfish immature people have no business making babies. If she can't go nine months without a drink she has bigger problems.
If my daughter or son ever did to my grandchild what Danielle did (leaving her alone in the driveway), the only person I would advocate for is my grandchild. I would be supporting and helping my son/daughter-in-law to get full custody and make sure that my child was held accountable for endangering my grandchild's life. Even if Danielle's parents disagreed with OP pressing charges, they should have been furious on behalf of their grandchild. Instead, they should where Danielle got her lack of responsibility from, and their lack of reaction ensured they too would be removed from Sarah's life.
And the ex who lives with her parents didn't have them take care of the little girl while she's out getting drunk?
Good morning everyone
Good morning!
Good evening 😅
okay i'm hoping that this woman doesn't get to keep the baby she's about to have. even though the other guy bailed I hope his family take the kid in because after hearing o.p's story and what his own daughter went through. this mother was literally using her for her own benefit as well as preparation of the child she cared more about obviously. Now that she no longer has custody this child could be at risk of suffering the same abuse maybe worse, especially since they're a baby. the mother's own parents have already expressed how she was treating op's child was no big deal and even lectured him on being a bad parent yet it's obvious they don't know what the difference between a good parent and a bad one is if they consider the neglect no big deal. Im glad I.p and his daughter are well But I sure hope that new baby from that other man is taken away from a woman who obviously is the true example of a bad mother with two equally bad grandparents who think all that she's done is nothing serious.
I wonder if Chad still lives next door.
@@Sherwoody lol if he does we know he won't be getting a moments piece from that crazy woman or her parents
@@Sherwoodyor was already married during the affair.
People, if you catch your spouse in the act of committing infidelity and your child asks where their parent went/what happened, don't lie or mince words. Just be straightforward with them in a way that's age-appropriate. "I'm sorry, honey, but it turns out that your mommy/daddy has a bf/gf that I didn't know about."
NOOO! It's ignorant to put all that adult stuff on a child ! In custody court it's also a reason you'd possibly lose custody of the child ! It's called " Parental Alienation " It's selfish to try to tarnish the relationship the child has with the other parent . I'd sa once they are 18 then they can handle something like that. It would be horrible to try to sway your child's opinion of their mother or father In that way and it would only be for your own selfish reasons. Do you have any idea what bringing children into adult problems? Does to a child's mental and emotional health ?!
No, it's not parental alienation; you're just stating a fact. You don't have to do it to be malicious. You don't have to be like, "Oh, and just so you know, your other parent's a bad person because they cheated on me." If your child ASKS you what happened, tell them what happened.@@perfectlyimperfect9129
It's not parental alienation. You don't have to say to your kid, "Oh, and just so you know, your other parent's a bad person because they cheated on me." If the child ASKS what happened, tell them the truth in a factual way and not a malicious way. Then give them time to form their own opinion about the situation and decide for themselves if they think it's worth it to maintain a relationship with the other parent.@@perfectlyimperfect9129
Nice tale. Kudos to the writer❤
What about the nerve of the OP's ex-in-laws to say that the OP would be a lousy parent. When that is exactly what their daughter was.
Definitely not aita you done what was right for your daughter your ex wife is such a horrible parent glad she's facing the consequences of her actions and I'm glad that you have custody of your daughter now you can live a happy life together all the best in the future
Massive NTA, Sounds like Danielle didn't like op spending money on the daughter and wanted money to herself specially when she wasn't able to get any settlement from op. She also couldn't move on that op divorced her and the attention her daughter was getting from her own father. So she tried to take her resentment out on her own kid by leaving her abandoned and her desperate attempt to get money out of op because she feels that she should have gotten a settlement from op for divorcing her. I understand that Danielle's parents didn't want their daughter in trouble because of how she's been since the divorce but Danielle brought this upon herself because of her resentment and greed. It was HER own stupidity to think that it would work in her favor and op wouldn't do anything. To keep defending their daughter like that despite everything she did to and insult op that he would be a horrible dad shows their true disgusting colors. I'm not surprised that Danielle is upset because she just lost the money and now had to pay op back.
Update, op is an amazing dad and honestly the ex inlaws aren't worth keeping around if their just going to excuse all the vile things their daughter had done. Specially to their grandchild.
Update 2, it's on Danielle that her AP left her because she insisted on having the kid. But how disgusting do you have to be to sell your own kid's stuff for money then pull that desperate attempt for more money out of op. She blew up her own life with refusing to communicate and only lie. I understand that her parents are feeling bad for her but she has no excuse for what she's done. I agree with op on the insane level of negligence that his ex wife has displayed. She only proved that she's not fit to be a parent in any shape or form.
Update 3, why am I not surprised that she refused to talk to her daughter or see her now that she can't use the poor kid to get money out of op. All she's accomplishing is solidifying how selfish she is and only cared about herself. Trash took itself out. Good riddance.
Preach
The dad was not an a**hole for going almost scorched earth on the ex.
Honestly, even if OP didn't want to press charges, this is one of those few times that the police will arrest someone regardless. It leaves the realm of what the victim wants and enters someone is going to jail.
Never trust the grandparents on the moms side. It is a big deal to abandon a kid alone for any length of time. If it wasnt she wouldn't have been charged.
Imagine her excuse "he wouldnt forgive me for cheating so i had to do this.!!"
Anyone that cheats isn't worth being with, They don't love you or they would never hurt you in that way. And to use the excuse that your partner was working is even worse. It's never okay to make the other parent look bad in the eyes of the child by telling them details of adult problems, When they are 18 maybe then they can handle it. Otherwise you're just putting a bunch of stress and confusion onto a child who doesn't understand.
And it would only be selfish on your part to make your partner look bad to Your kid.50/50 why would he have to pay childsupport ?Kids have a way of blaming themselves.
That's a lot of bs. How much was Ex really getting for her daughters clothes. Also the fact she was out drinking and how she abandoned her daughter. The reason she lost in court again is proof she is unfit.
I bet neighbor broke up with her since she started him to support her like op did. The baby could be real and he ran. But I doubt it. Glad ops daughter doesn't have to see a toxic person like that. I bet ex has a drug problem because how she is acting is how addicts are. Not to mention the court could get access to see what she spent the money on.
If there isn't, there should be a law that makes it illegal for bars, clubs, restaurants und the like from serving alcohol to an obviously pregnant woman.
1. As a woman named Danielle, I DO NOT CLAIM THIS ONE!!!
2. As a single parent, I DO NOT CLAIM THIS ONE!!!!
3. OP did right by not only divorcing her cheating ex-wife but reporting her and going for full custody.
My ex did the same to me (we weren't married). He left our 2-month-old baby in the house for hours by herself because he was mad at me. If jail wasn't an option, I would've ended him. He's not in our lives. She doesn't even see him as her father (her choice).
The way he talks his daughter is going to hate him in the future.
The funny thing is all Apple devices automatically sync when it proximity to each other. I saw this happen at the last store I was work at. The Owner's Personal Cell synced with the Store's Ipad.
So, she thought she was going to cash in on having two children for paychecks, but Chadly chose to run for the hills rather than stick around and pay. At least the family courts did something right this one time by giving the father custody.
Chad lives next door, yet they both felt the need to leave evidence of their affair on their phones. How stupid! With OP at work, anything they needed to say to each other could have been said in person. Are people really leaving this kind of stuff on their phones? I'm not a phone user except for calls only. BTW, the $25,000 judgement made me doubt the story for the first time.
Stupid will always stupid.
In many US states a parent failing to pay child support could face up to six months in jail and/or a $25,000 fine so it is feasible that a judge could issue a $25,000 fine to a custodial parent misusing the child support payments and selling the personal belongings of the child purchased by the other parent.
@@ixxieangel Well, if you want to stretch credibility to this extent, have at it.
@@ixxieangel I searched and could only find this statement: In most jurisdictions with parental responsibility laws, a violation of the law is a misdemeanor and a person charged with the crime faces up to one year in prison, a fine in the range of $1,000, or both.
Tbh, I doubt most of these stories. Firstly they’re all written the same way. Little nuances, the adverbs used etc. It’s so clear these have the same Author. So are they real? Yeah probably but I’d bet they’re rewritten and embellished!
Of course it ends with Disney 😂🙄
Why did I hear all those old commercials for Disney at the end?
OP … you just gained full custody of your daughter, and rightfully so. What are you going to do next?
WE’RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!!!!!
You did the correct thing to protect your daughter and she drinking while pregnant and I think they may take that baby from her to because she not stable and the hospital will report if that child has withdrawal from alcohol
No the pad was logged into the account to pick up calls and texts. You could have logged in to the apple account to get them on your phone. LOL she is ignorant.
Sooo... she abandoned her child around dark and drank WHILE pregnant 😮 double the messed up
Calling the lawyer, CPS, filing charges with the police, and getting back to family court to demand full custody of the child was the appropriate move to make. The woman's family is also showing who they are, and OP should be careful to not expose his daughter to their toxicity. They need to strip her of custody of the second child, too, because of fetal alcohol syndrome, as the woman was using alcohol and likely drugs while pregnant.
He can’t drop the charges it is up do CPS, it’s to late once a complaint is filed they must investigate.
The inescapable shadow of this story’s unnecessary use of adjectives is a weight that I cannot bare to take with me into the life that exists past this one, the one that exist when my eyes will close and cease to open further. There in the absence of life, will I be forced to suffer the recollection of this sordid story of love and the betrayed.
Sadly we men cannot catch a break. If we work hard, long hours to support our family. The wife will use that against us saying that "we were 'never' there." If we work a job that allows us to spend more time with our family. We're accused of not being a good provider.
What are we supposed to do?
No
I in a million wouldn't have accepted for a 50/50 custody, after what she had done. She basically put the daughter's life in danger, by inviting the neighbor to the house. I would have raised this point in the court, which would have been an advantage for the case. Also, why on Earth would you want to see your daughter in shabby clothes, when you were the one buying her new clothes every now and then. I wouldn't have believed ex's story about saving the clothes for better days etc. Children between the age of 1 to 14, can't wear their old clothes after a year or two, because of their physical growth. OP should have sued neighbor sob, he let him walk free from destroying a family. I would have shamed this ahole to the public by making a social media post stating how this lowlife destroyed a family.
Agreed. If someone had noticed that, they would call social services to not only have Danielle thrown in jail for abandonment/neglect, but also take Sara away from her, place Sara in the foster care system, and with another family, through closed adoption, plus, strip Danielle of her parental rights.⚠️
Custody has zero to do with the Fidelity of either partner and in fact, since he had done no parenting prior to this time, I'm guessing that 50/50 was a gift to him
Not all states/countries have alienation of affection laws unfortunately.
@@neil999ish Just gave it as an option for those countries and states which have the laws for alienation of affection.
I would have let your daughter see the messages. Never let your ex control the narrative. EDIT: DUDE, tell your daughter what’s going on in age appropriate language! And 50-50 custody 🤡 this is how society rewards cheaters. What a screwed up ending. I’d be filing a restraining order ASAP. Your ex is clearly a monster, and I’d be going back to court, suing her for selling all the stuff you were buying for Sara. And Chad walking out on her is the ultimate karma ending, lol.
Screwing your neighbors wife is the worst sin ever committed,it is also the most unforgivable one
NTA, quite frankly the so called mother is wrong on so many levels. How can you leave a child all alone without informing her father. The mother is all about herself and didn't want the father to win. She had the affair and then plays the blame game. Dispicable, please that father and daughter are living happily together.
The updates were very revealing, to me anyway.
It's such a shame that the couple were obviously not communicating for a significant ammount of time before it all blew-up in their faces:
The husband was working long hours to provide for his family, while the wife needed more of his love & attention.
It's very telling that the husband was able to make more time for his daughter once the divorce was settled than before.
Can't help thinking a lot of grief could have been avoided by just sitting down & talking now & then.
LOL. Is that the way you see it?
It sounds to me that since OP was able to make time for his daughter after the divorce, that he had always been making time for his daughter BEFORE the divorce as well as making time for his wife. His wife had all this extra time to go screwing around with Chad which probably meant OP was spending time with his daughter so your argument falls on deaf ears.
It was the POS wife who had been obviously spending more time away from the family.
The logistics don't work in your favor.
Ha ha if a dad can put his daughter’s hair into a decent looking ponytail that is very impressive. 😂
You do know that a *LOT* of men work as beauticians doing *WOMEN'S* hair *ALL* day, *EVERY* day.
OP has no say in the consequences of his exes actions. Once police and child protection get involved, it's out of his hands. Once the judge decides, its decided. I've known greedy women who want more, only to lose the generous amount they used to receive. But the grandparents? Hell no. My grandfather wouldn't stand by and lay me get hurt by either of my parents. He wouldn't tolerate nonsense. What was wrong with those grandparents? Anyone who dumps a child without notification should get everything that they deserve. The father can take the money he was giving the ex and use it for care while he's at work.
If tears didnt get to guys, women would be in trouble.
When the cheater talked about XH work schedule, XH should have told her to take a good look around my house and realize why you signed a prenup before marriage. My success paid for a lifestyle you will no longer enjoy! 😉
This is an exact copy of a version where a sil found her brothers wifes message the same exact way-
OP's ex-wife is probably on drugs and sold all her child's nice things to support her habit. That's why she didn't have them to wear whenever OP saw her. I've heard this story time and time again. I just don't understand why the courts don't force the mothers or whoever the custodial parent is to prove via receipts or whatever that they are in fact using the child support the way they are supposed to. This would probably drastically lower the amount of child support men are required to provide. I imagine given that there are millions of women scamming men in this way. It's sickening how easy it is for mothers to get the courts to force men in the USA to pay for their children and in some states the courts don't even care that a DNA test has proven the kid isn't even his. As long as the parents were married when that child was born the court recognizes that kid as his. Or if the couple has lived together and the man has spent a certain amount of time with that child the woman can go to the court and convince the judge that he's bonded with her child and therefore he is a father figure and needs to support this child even if the couple is no longer together. It sucks and should be illegal but it's not.
Why was he paying child support when they shared custody?
The stupid counts
Tell me you're a wanna be novelist without actually saying so . . . 😋
$25000 fine was a weak point of believability.
NTAH
Women and accountability.
If only this father had been as involved and caring about his kid when he was actually married and not pushing all the child care onto his ex, perhaps he would still be married and in a healthy relationship with his.😊
I don’t buy that argument. At age 8 the daughter would have been in school most of the day. OP admits to working more hours to support the household, but is the answer to that sleeping with the next door neighbour. Mom was just full of self serving excuses.
Pfffft..... Alot of Monogamous people are fkn hilarious to me. They will say "eww" to polygamy and they'll go and cheat anyways. 😂
Whys he paying CS. They have 50/50 custody of their child