Finding Love After 50 | The Mel Robbins Show
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มี.ค. 2020
- Mel sits down with Gloria, who divorced her husband ten years ago and has been single for the last decade. She says it's all because of her "strong personality" - Mel gives her advice on how to find love after 50.
Subscribe NOW to The Mel Robbins Show: bit.ly/2NqBeYH
FOLLOW US
Instagram: / melrobbinsshow
Twitter: / melrobbinsshow
Facebook: / melrobbinsshow
For even more Mel Robbins, visit www.melrobbinsshow.com/ or melrobbins.com
Roku users, watch full episodes on The Roku Channel: bit.ly/MelOnRoku
THE MEL ROBBINS SHOW is a 1-hour talk show hosted by the leading global motivational speaker and best-selling author of THE 5 SECOND RULE, Mel Robbins. Mel helps real people transform their lives by empowering them with the tools necessary to conquer their everyday problems and life’s biggest problems.
#Love #MelRobbinsShow #SelfHelp #MotivationalSpeaking #MelRobbins #TalkShow
![เกิดใหม่ทั้งทีก็เป็นสไลม์ไปซะแล้ว ซีซั่น 3 - ตอนที่ 57 [ซับไทย]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/pNhft3YZFRE/mqdefault.jpg)
I too was married to a narcissist and over the years, it totally changed me and my personality. No more pushover, me. I was blessed to find a WHOLE man who accepted me as the new me was and we are more than happy 15 years later.
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
Hello Karen how are you doing
I’m 51 and it’s very difficult for me to trust someone. Every time I feel I find the one, I soon realize that they’re in it for their own convenience. It’s draining to keep dating so I stopped for now and I’ve been alone for quite some time now. It does get exhausting being alone though.
I'm 50 lost my wife 10 years ago and it's been tough for me, every one is in for the convince companionship brings. I'd love to see myself smile back to a lady who understands the importance of being a pair
I have a lot in common with this woman. I do everything alone. Being single for many years, i am ready, willing and able, to have a partner and companion to share my life and love with
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
Hey Kim,
How’re you doing today? Well My late wife passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 so it’s been a very tough and lonely 3 years without that special one to share everything with but God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹
@@richardmcguinn732hey Richard.... Did you connect with Kim... Look at me rooting for a love connection
The thing is, we have to be tough in a world that will push you around, and in doing so we tend to lose our feminine/ vurnerable side (as we put up walls). I've been single for over a decade and what makes me happy about being single is listening to people who are in toxic relationships. I've learned to love being by myself (I know it sounds depressing), but I realize that being alone is NOT the same as being lonely. Lonliness is a state of mind. And I'd rather spend my time alone vs being with a jerk. Cheers Everybody! Stay safe!
Me too Billie! It is so much better.💖
You don't need to gloat at someone else's pain
The problem is she's probably picking or attracting weak men, beta males who can't handle stron women. They feel inadequate. Strong woman wants a strong man
I’m 54 years old. Single. Have loads of friends. I have loads of hobbies . I’m financially independent. I don’t miss a having a man man at this age. He will definitely come with his own baggage. She probably wants something that doesn’t exist. Not for long anyway. Love yourself and embrace your lovely life. She must remember, it’s not someone else’s job to make you happy.
I go along with that. Make yourself happy first and if someone comes along , great, but if they don't your ok
@@megcurtis4361 Hey Meg good morning and happy lords day to you,
How’re you doing today? Well My late wife passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but it’s been a very lonely years even with my boy and four legged families I still miss one of the best feelings in this world which is having that special one to share everything with but God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹
Hey Dina,
Good morning and happy lord’s day to you, how’re you doing today? Well My late wife passed away 3 years ago from a shocking disease, I felt deeply devastated with grief, and I was so heartbroken 💔 but it’s been a very lonely 3 years for me even with my boy and four legged families I still misses one of the best feelings in this world no matter how independent I am which is having that special one to share every moment with but God and time are indeed the best healers.
I'd love to talk to you more if you don't mind! So it would be nice to get a reply from you when you got time okay. 🌹
Hello Dina how are you doing?
Correct, you can only make yourself happy. Although someone can certainly make you UNhappy.
The greatest love is....loving yourself. You can’t give love or receive love without loving yourself first. When you are full with self love that it will flows to others. ❤️ ♥️
And what are 5 examples of self love?
That's gonna help her move the needle?
People need to stop pushing the "there's someone for everyone" idea because, in reality, there isn't. Most women need to learn how to be content being alone. The constant pushing to create "happily ever after" could be better spent pursuing one's own interests, building up to something for oneself, etc., instead of wasting time in bars, dance halls, dating apps, etc. Sure, there are decent men looking for solid relationships out here, too, but they are hard to find. Sitting around pining and crying about not having Mr. Right is not a good use of time.
I cannot agree with you more Hillari. Well said. I also didn't like the way that Mel sort of made out that because she was a strong woman she had to change that to get a man in her life. Where are the men who appreciate a woman for being strong and capable? Those qualities are what make a good mate, not just a " bragging rights " trophy wife. Of course we're vulnerable underneath, just as men are. But you don't see talk show hosts telling men they need to be more vulnerable to get a woman in their life. I think, like you do, looking for love is a waste of time. It either happens organically in life, as you happily live your life. Or you should content yourself with your self love. It's better than being in a bad relationship with a man, just to have a relationship. Believe me, I know from experience, as I bet a lot of us here have. Being alone isn't the awful thing that society makes it out to be. But being in an abusive relationship with a selfish man, just so that you don't have to be alone, is an awful thing. A lot of older women are alone, find hobbies, love yourself, you're are all amazing.🥰
Stardustceiling you’re missing the point of this ...this woman does love herself and has a great life, as she said. She’s looking for someone who’s will COMPLIMENT her life and there’s nothing wrong with that! Either you don’t care about having a relationship or you do, this woman wants to be in a relationship and she has done all the right things… But you’re going on about women being in a relationship with the wrong man that wasn’t the point of the show!
She already has her own interests and life.. now she wants to share her life with someone. What’s wrong with that? Being content by being ALONE gets a little boring after 10 years maybe!?
@@kaffeine69 agreed. To be alone is not a good thing and a normal desire is for companionship, not dependency.
I don't agree with what you said. Human beings can't be alone. Not good for your sanity. It's good to feel confident and stable if you don't have a partner but it doesn't mean being alone should make you happy and fulfilled. Having a healthy relationship is what we all should seek for.
She is a lovely woman....please don't change who u are. A strong confident woman .💟🍀
She deserves a lovely man to treat her well
And share experiences together💕
Yes she is, she deserves to be treated like a queen 👑
Where are you located?
I've been single for nine years and I am happy and tranquil. I don't think I could live with a husband or partner again.
I love that she Knows what she wants.I understand how she feels. Being with a narsass is the worst.
It makes sense that she is protective having been in a relationship with a narcissist. They will suck the life out of you with gaslighting and manipulation. She seems like a terrific woman who is smart, authentic and has a lot to offer. She should think about why she attracts people who may be narcissistic. Often it is because your are an empathic person who is a caretaker. Going forward she should try to be more open to people but also be very mindful of red flags. I find that as you get older it's more difficult to meet potential partners because not everyone continues to grow and improve as a person so the pool seems to get smaller and smaller.
That being "too strong" can be a shield, and letting that down a bit would be good (vulnerable). But there's also this "desperate" thing that ppl can sense a mile away. She does come across as desperate to make this happen ("determined to make it happen this year"), and that's rooted in fear (which can also bring arrogance and control-y-ness), and it's not attractive. Thing is, ya' gotta be okay/fine (still way good) with it not happening. There's no foundation for true confidence without that. A peaceful heart (requires true acceptance of whatever might happen) is a powerful heart. And will attract the same. Same with a fearful heart, which will block the good things we're wanting in our life. Again, you have to first accept the idea of not having "the thing."(=peace, which is Job One toward manifesting our heart's desire.)
Great point
Narcissists feed off of vulnerability, why open herself up to attract a narcissistic partner?
It's for her to open up to a good person...not to everyone.
"Men are intimidated by me". Has to be the most over used phrase by women ever. Note to women, men are not intimidated by you. Or should I say the majority are not. Men don't want a woman that comes across as being a headache. We want peace, not someone who is a piece of work. What man wants some woman who thinks shes tough or some "boss attitude". Be a nice person. That's what a man wants. The "I intimidate men" is just a way of not working on your own flaws.
Exactly. "Big personality" is code for "big pain in the ...er.. uh.. neck".
A man wants a pleasant companion, occasional sex, and no drama.
I have a friend just like this. she is beautiful, successful, and refers to herself as a "boss babe", "bad bitch" etc. She says men are just afraid of her and intimidated by her. She tells us she is "over qualified" to be in a relationship and that's why she cannot hold a man's attention, but this whole "boss bitch" persona is just a coping mechanism for her loneliness.
I agree why label yourself like that. Always a cover up.
That's why she can't find a man, she's too busy trying to act like one. Men don't want to date a boss, they want a woman who could be a future wife & companion.
I've been single over 10 year's and I absolutely hate it as I had previously been in long term relationships so was quite a change. I'm wealthy, retired, and alone. It wasn't too bad while I had family but now that everyone died except a half brother and my son who is almost 18 and only visits every other weekend. (Court order). I find women my age 49 or even close to my age are usually so set in ways that they won't really allow a man to truly love them. As for the younger ones the delusions are unreal. Most believe they are Gods gift to men and expect an above average man even if they are average. Don't even get me started on the hookup culture! At this point I have pretty much lost hope. I know good women exist but finding them and connecting with them is getting tougher every year. All I really wanted was a family and I had one when my son's mother left me and still today has never explained why. As for being happy alone it can still get lonely after a while. One thing most don't consider nowadays is being alone can actually shorten your life and bring many health issues as we are not meant to always be alone.
Did you find someone?
She needs more help than just a show appearance. Narcissistic abuse is long lasting and she needs help from someone that can essentially hold her hand to guide her
Indeed, perhaps had a narc mommy dearest.
There's so many unaddressed issues here.
That was so unhelpful
What I need most to be vulnerable is reassurance
Life is sweet treated with the rightful person, living life independent life together. How is life treating you there?
Secure in your own wings not the tree branch you land.
@@ladyofspaHello dear
May life help her find love. She deserves it. She should do community service, she may find some one there.
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
I'm 53, divorced 3 years ago. Dated a man 18 years younger a long distance for 2 years .
I will be finishing my degree this year. Financial difficulty is a stress. Looking forward to travel and enjoy my life .
He was 7 years older and I could not do anything right for most of our 30 years !
Now I'm looking for a committed relationship, possible a marriage.
I'm an empath , want to fix everyone, spread myself thin to help
I don't mind to be vulnerability and it is a strength ! I have expectation of a person and if these expectations don't get filled, I get more persistent to get what I want . Get upset .
I'm learning not to ask, but just walk away when I don't get what I need in a relationship. What are the other option for me ?
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
Do you believe you can fine true love anywhere, real love comes in different ways.
Where are you located? Greetings from Long Beach California
The sad truth is that finding love after 50's isn't that easy because women become invisible for men in the same age or older. Men in their 50's and 60's are attracted to younger women (30' and 40's). Women in their 50's should be in stable relationship, if not enjoy life being alone and make the most of it. Don't look for love, but take care of yourself, be healthy, look good and stay in shape physically and be financially stable. Love finds you when you love yourself first and be the person you want to be with - and that is no other than yourself.
but are women in their 30s and 40s attracted to men in their 50s and 60s? only when they are wealthy and most aren't
@@TheSunshinefee You are right! What can a 60 year old man do to a woman half of his age ?
The relationship will be 1% love and 99% deceitful.
@@aiwangerjennifer7366 I’m a single guy I need gorgeous girl like you, I know you might have been taken by now and if not can we be friends ?
You must love yourself before you will allow someone else to love you.
She needs to get back into her feminine energy and learn to be able to receive, having been married for 30 years in a. Narcissist marriage with two special needs kids I had to be strong my entire life . After my husband died unexpectedly at 50 I was widowed aged 49 it took me six years to learn how to date trust and let my guard down . But the best thing I did was learn how to be in my feminine energy
how did you do that? (finding your feminine energy)
Men over fifty don’t want women their age, they want much younger. If they do want a woman their age, it’s because they want a nurse with a purse! They will use you and spend your money on a younger woman.
She is thinking more then she should.. Relationships is a plaaace where we feel not where we think
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
You’re totally right about that to be honest.
You are singing my song sister! xo
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
Hey Cheryl,
How’re you doing today? Good morning and happy lord’s day to you. Well it’s right for a woman to be strong with great energy for her to be independent! But it really feels lonely been alone when one is getting old.
A male friend of mine was watching this with me. He said she talks to much , she is loud
and looks manish .
Hello dear, how are you doing today, I hope all is going well in this time of covid. I will be glad to hear for you.
Smh
Hello Elaina, how are you doing
Hi Elaine
Nice to meet you here
Show your vulnerability first and then the person will show up. I had to do the work to learn that my value comes from me, not my partner. After the work, the right man came into my life when I was ready.
Hello
because death is always near
yes i get lonely but i know the right one will come and willing to part alone and make best of it
its hard and its not us
too many women are out there exposing themselves leading astray men delaying that moment when they realize that common ground is more important then looks
I know how it feel to be lonely, Trust me I have been there
Hello dear, how are you doing today, I hope all is going well in this time of covid. I will be glad to hear for you.
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
Looks will fade away with time for sure what a point you made.
Hello
i dont pick anything i live by the moment
Hello Misa
How are you doing
Hi dear
How are you doing today
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
I'm looking for loyal friendships with other that will be lifelong. That would be a blessing. A romantic partnership would be great too yet I'm not sure what that looks like.
Do you believe you can see true love anywhere? Real love comes in different ways
You are a beautiful lady. God Bless.
hi
Hello dear, how are you doing today, I hope all is going well in this time of covid. I will be glad to hear for you.
Hello how are you doing
Hi there
Nice to meet you here
Hmmm
I can so relate to Gloria about this situation. I too am a strong woman (authentic, strong body and a rich voice, graduated from college recently and so much more) and I'm sixty-five. I think this takes men aback instead of them becoming human and sensitive. I'm also accused of being too smart because I read a lot (have my nose in a book many times). Sometimes I think that my personality has been developed from compounded trauma. My vulnerability is rarely seen especially if I'm in the company of a man...for good reason. My body language changes, my voice lowers, but trying to find a medium in this behavour is a challenge.
My wife read a lot always had (she died) her nose in the book many times I got used to it myself and we were best pals, she had great personality. Her vulnerability was being in love with me, I can only imagine how brilliant and enthusiastic your intellectual mind is
never dumb yourself for a man. read as many books as you want.
Strong people don’t really need to reiterate that they are sting all the time
i think there are many like her,,,,,she made a mistake,,,,,,,,no man would be intimidated by her,,its about what she gives,,,,,,or does not,,,,,,,,
Did she find love?
Do you watch the video angel?
@@sanusirazaq9635 No, where can i find it?
@@kipepeo75 I mean the TH-cam video we’re commenting on “Finding love after 70”
Are you in your 70 too angel? Though you still look younger in your dp.
I'd love to hear her ex's side of the story. Somewhere between the two tales would probably be the truth.
Possibly but not necessarily. There are instances when one person really is incredibly difficult - for example, if a partner has extreme narcissist personality traits - in such a case, no, this is not a 50/50 or a 60/40 blame share issue. Saying things like 'it takes two' can be trite or dismissive, disregarding the reality that there really are people that have personality or behavioural issues that simply make them bad partners...
I don't get why you broke up with your husband????
Hello
its no ones fault
we learn and teach through out life, and move on we need to grow spiritually we know what we want and its harder to share ourself because we know by now what we really want
we flow into a relationship that is meant for us because we can accept even the flaws
Best thing is to just be yourself and todays society is too fake includes men/ women
career minded is a danger zone
life should be fun most of time and during bad times still should be good
I guess life sometimes steals the sun part from us and make us suffer with knowing
Fun
Life is your right, don’t give up the fight
Well spoken now I can see the major reason you’ve chosen to ignore those men trying to get through you.
Pardon my forgetfulness how have you being and how is COVID over there. Pleases stay safe.
She's blunt, direct, & stuck in her ways. That could be why she can't find love. Men don't gravitate towards dominating women.
Or traditional feminine ones either. They want submissive, dumb blonde eye candy status symbols,that are not gold diggers. So catch 22. Men are silly beasts.
She's beautiful. I think a younger person would work best for her. In her case.
God, I love her. I want to be her when I grow up.
Yep! People always say strong personality when you are smart and know what you want! Well I’m proud of my strong personality, I ain’t hurting anyone just being honest and speaking my mind sometimes if people can’t take it than is their problem. She should do the same too, she just haven’t met the right person or friends yet.
Are you kidding me
Am I the only one feeling twenty years younger than 50 when watching these videos? Am I really this old?! I guess so.
Hmmm! That’s your thought and that’s great inner peace and beauty
Don’t you find that most men after 50 are looking for a maid?
They want a nurse or a purse 😂😂😂
Clarity
Examples
Modeling is what this segment lacked. I came away with very little no real plan shes been showing up as her..... and zero results.
Is she mothering replace it with z...
Is she controlling replace it with y....
Is she argumentative or not a good listener...... practice this. And this is what it looks like, sounds like.
it's obscene how what seems like a good intention to help others is stained by marketing and selling a trinket. I guess Capitalism is going to capitalism.
you are not a relationship therapist nor a psychologist, stop this, mel
That's the red on her is a defense mechanism... Specially when she has been judge ...
This woman seems lovely - I doubt that she is actually doing anything 'wrong.' Sometimes we want to believe that we (or someone else) is doing something 'wrong' because then, if we figure what that is, we can fix it and - voila! - love will happen. It suits our 'self-improvement, can-do culture. But that isn't always true. The simple fact is that it is hard to find a good partner, esp. at her age when the dating pool is a lot smaller. At that point in peoples' lives, unless a marriage is really bad, many people (both men and women) will stick with what they have rather going thru the upset of divorce, which would involve upsetting any children (and, yes, even grown children can be hurt when parents' divorce), potential financial upheaval, etc. As one of my friends says 'I know I'm not going to find anything better at this stage and it's not bad enough to blow up my life now so I'm going to stick it out if I can." (BTW, I'm not saying there aren't happy 20 or 30 year marriages, just that there are plenty that are 'meh' as well and for many people in the latter variety, the advantages of being married, including the many advantages our society bestows on married people, ultimately outweigh their dissatisfaction.)
Yes you are totally correct, she deserves to be treated like a queen 👑 she's.
How is life treating you over there?
Far be for me to question the superior ability of women to hold two opposing thoughts in theirs minds at once but the advice given in this episode is the height of insanity.
How, in the age of girl power and the me too movement do women expect a world where men are still obligated to chase them down and sweep them off their feet?? It is an unrealistic expectation! Really this is NOT the 1950s. And, ladies if that's the life you're living expect to either be alone or pursued by crazy people. Ladies you see a man you are interested in you better speak up and share the responsibility of initiating the relationship. lol
Considering your patronizing initial comment (which, ironically enough, could have come straight out 1950s) has nothing to do with this woman's problem, could it possibly be that you might just have your own issues with women? lol
@@suzy1750 I haven't a problem with women at all. I am not afraid of pointing out how flawed and duplicitous people can be.
She is very complicated woman
linda how are you doing
@@luckymorgan5146 I am ok tanx an u?
@@lindarobinson8381 am perfectly good seriously i must confess you look so beautiful and amazing
@@luckymorgan5146 who are you and where do you live?
@@lindarobinson8381am Mr Lucky i live in NEW Jersy also an engineer
This gal seems too needy for a right partner?? She should ...... stop the intense ..... proving that, ..... She's right! ..... She's entitled! .....It comes ... across as controlling & bossy. .........
Lighten ........ up ..... Find a friend first! ...... & see what happens?? .....
That’s so true, hello dear 👋
😂 she's looking for a partner no a husband
Haha Haha! This is so funny! Come on people? Really? Lol! You left your husband and 10 years later your still unhappy. Sounds like you made a mistake. Lol!
Ace of spades How so?
@@anisequoia6975 how so you say, well look at it she is lost, by herself and depressed. She could of been happy and married with the kids and her husband, but she thought it was him and now you see it was her the whole time.
Ace of spades All it is, is you’re subjective perspective. That’s what all these comments are really. Everyone’s subjective perspective.
@@anisequoia6975 no not really, she left and 10 years later she feels worst. She thought it was him but in reality she needed to work on her within the marriage. She thought she could lean on the love of her kids, but kids grow up and leave. You can run but life and that mirror will catch up to you.
Ace of spades From acknowledging you’re first comment on this episode clip, again just my perspective, and with all do respect, it sounds like based on you’re first comment is you’re own projection from what triggered a similar life experience of yours? Cause if not, you’re comments wouldn’t come off a bit defensive.
Mel, she is a red personality... Take a look at Dr. Taylor Hartman personality code.
grow your hair out and meditate to change your personality!