I LOVE watching your thought processes, you become the being we are trying to help and then the creative, loving helper. I AM at the counter of a chemist. OH DEAR GOD. I need help. Thankyou, It's working for me already 🙊💋💗
Heck yes, new subscriber here, sharing these far and wide. Very helpful stuff, there’s something for everyone here. I am a transit driver so this particular video is a great brush-up for me!
I love your trainings and am beginning to practice them, but an added benefit I’ve experienced after just 1 day of a couple videos is noting when *others* are using certain body language cues on me! It’s very revealing of people’s motivations. For this alone, even if I can never do the techniques right - this is a seriously life-changing value to recognize them when others use them. Thank you!
Dan, I LIKE the recent turn you've made with your new professional more serious style- actually you are returning to it and I'm so thankful I can recommend you again.
Sarah, I was seeing how I could help during this Covid-9 crisis, and after experimenting, I determined the best way to help was to do what I do best. People actually DON'T turn their brains off and wait to be entertained during a crisis. Good to know. :)
Thanks to your words Dan. Worst nightmare. My cat went to jump on me. I moved quick and had a fall. So nervous about going to hospital due to virus. In hospital not allowed in with anyone. Reception is in masks spoke to me so aggressive. When I was alone, injured pretty scared. I said can you speak to me nicely please - I'm nervous. Honesty I could not of been spoken to respectfully after. All nurses smirked. Thanks Dan it worked in a horrid situation. My arm wasn't broken just sprained and I was released yippppeee
This is definitely my number one problem, how to deal with emotional people. As you say in theory it is simple, but in the situation, that's another story. I definitely need to train to say those phrases, however troubled I am by this social situation.
That one person who disliked NEEDS to get their emotions under control and CALM DOWN 😂😂😂. Love all your videos... I’m rewatching and taking written notes!
Oh my gosh Dan!!!! Speaking of black door commands!!! You opened the door for me to ask you a question along those lines, but, more related to a video you published two months ago on how to deal with coworkers who want to act like they’re your boss. It turns out that, as you may have already noticed from my prior requests, I lack a lot on telling that type of people to back off or telling them to go do it themselves, but another problem I have picked up on about myself recently, is that I will never be able to apply any advice I get UNTIL... I ALSO learn to DETECT when I’m being bossed around! It turns out I’m the youngest of three siblings, so I grew up getting bossed around (and even bullied, being told to suck it up because younger siblings were deserving of nothing) day and night by my parents and siblings, so now as an adult I struggle with standing up for myself not only because I don’t know what to say, but because the other half of the times I don’t realize I’m being bossed around and immediately comply before I even realize what’s going on. In other words, my brain seems to have normalized being forced to be my family of origin’s floor mat after so many years of being their pee-on... And this really seems alarming to me. So, with that said, is there anything you can think of and suggest? Like any subtle details I need to be on the look out for, or any language or tones I should be listening for? Again, thank you so much for what you do Dan!!! You really are a God sent for many of us!
Cupcakes Aside thank you so much for your advice! And yes! Emotional literacy is something I so tragically struggle to develop/acquire! I will practice REPEATEDLY FLIPPING the coin!!!! You couldn’t have put it in better words! Thank you so much!!! Oh! And I know you prefer not to mention the other channel out of respect for Dan, but the terminology you mentioned did spark a channel’s name in my mind! So I will make sure I watch that channel as well for strategies!!! Thanks again!!!
I don’t consider myself very handy in social situations, but I am impressed with myself on this one! All your suggestions I have figured out on my own throughout the years!! (After many escalations with angry people). And they work as a charm because I cannot even remember the last time anyone freaking out on me. I always say things in line with your suggestions, and the angry person shows some kind of relief, almost like a thank you for helping him/her to break free from their anger.
These phrases are definitely triggering and I've experienced all of them from someone close to me. Some people might have good intentions but are so clueless as to how their words can trigger.
I was trying to access the free resources using the link provided and no matter what source I used it kept saying “not available” or that it could not connect to a server. Could you guide me to where I’d be able to access these free resources please? I really need them lol
I'm a cop, I have used this advice and have deescalated a few. Doesn't always work, but it definitely works when it does... and I can mind my business 20 minutes later lol.
I've been a Public Safety Officer and I know from experience that, never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.
I disagree. You should never tell a person how they feel. I would thank them for informing me of the problem. Also, as much as possible, give them the chance to get it out of their system.
Dan O'Conner is a communication master!!
How did you become such a communication ninja? I'm impressed. I'd love more content for relationships outside of work.
Dan, you are a marvel. Excellent teaching with much humour. Love it.
This is very helpful. Thank you, Dan.
Mr. O'Conor thank you for this training video. Thank you.
I LOVE watching your thought processes, you become the being we are trying to help and then the creative, loving helper. I AM at the counter of a chemist. OH DEAR GOD. I need help. Thankyou, It's working for me already 🙊💋💗
You are so welcome!
Thank you so much for your videos. They’ve had a great effect on my life!
Dan, I am trying to watch all video old and new. You look forever young. Bless you. THANK YOU for what you are offering ❤
You are very welcome. I don't know about that forever young part, but I'll take it--to be polite :) :)
Fantastic video, and perfect timing! Thank you.
You're thee only person that can talk @ Turbo speed, that I can actually hear AND understand
Heck yes, new subscriber here, sharing these far and wide. Very helpful stuff, there’s something for everyone here. I am a transit driver so this particular video is a great brush-up for me!
Thanks for your words and your shares, Erin.
Ok Dan, Keep Calm and Carry ON........We got it.
Absolutely love your videos.
I hope you know how much you help people 🙏
Thanks Fatt. I am hoping to change the global dialogue, one conversation at a time.
I so enjoy his videos on this channel! So interesting and helpful 😊
I love your trainings and am beginning to practice them, but an added benefit I’ve experienced after just 1 day of a couple videos is noting when *others* are using certain body language cues on me! It’s very revealing of people’s motivations. For this alone, even if I can never do the techniques right - this is a seriously life-changing value to recognize them when others use them. Thank you!
I needed this so much. Thank you!!!
Such Great contents here, very helpful!
Dan, I LIKE the recent turn you've made with your new professional more serious style- actually you are returning to it and I'm so thankful I can recommend you again.
Sarah, I was seeing how I could help during this Covid-9 crisis, and after experimenting, I determined the best way to help was to do what I do best. People actually DON'T turn their brains off and wait to be entertained during a crisis. Good to know. :)
Thanks bunches
Always learning from you Dan. I just wished I saw this video before my last shift rather than after.
Thanks Dan as usual I will rehearse these...stay healthy and safe
Excellent teacher
Thank you! 😃
Always helpful. Sweet render on the background (black-and-white). Shine on, Dan \o/
Love this so much very empathic
Dan the man is on a mission ❤
Love this guy
Thanks to your words Dan. Worst nightmare. My cat went to jump on me. I moved quick and had a fall. So nervous about going to hospital due to virus. In hospital not allowed in with anyone. Reception is in masks spoke to me so aggressive. When I was alone, injured pretty scared. I said can you speak to me nicely please - I'm nervous. Honesty I could not of been spoken to respectfully after. All nurses smirked. Thanks Dan it worked in a horrid situation. My arm wasn't broken just sprained and I was released yippppeee
Wow, this is Superb! I am a Behavioral Health Nurse & these phrases are perfect for de-esacalting. 🎓
So happy to have helped you Sage.
Dan
This is definitely my number one problem, how to deal with emotional people. As you say in theory it is simple, but in the situation, that's another story. I definitely need to train to say those phrases, however troubled I am by this social situation.
Great tips for parenting! Thank you!
Dan O’Connor is a genius.
Please don't tell my teachers; they'd be disappointed they missed that :)
I love your channel thanks for sharing
Thank you so much!! you videos are simply the best!!
Love the green jacket. Ok, I will go back to your message now :-)
I am listening and learning
You're great. I appreciate your teaching
Love your channel.👏
Wonderful, and spread the word Frankie!
That one person who disliked NEEDS to get their emotions under control and CALM DOWN 😂😂😂. Love all your videos... I’m rewatching and taking written notes!
This advice's really needed in my field so many unwilling personalities
this lesson should be taught and re-taught to people year after year! I hear this so often... "calm down".... it is so inflammatory!
Totally agree Red Robin. :)
Dan, you rock!
Well thank you! Tell my nephew Eamon. He's 19 and he doesn't think I rock, except perhaps in a high-back chair.
yeah you are right 😊 1:29
So good!
Many thanks. Please share, Jerek.
Another killer video!!! Wow...
Many thanks. Please share, Quintessence.
I like it 👌
Oh my gosh Dan!!!! Speaking of black door commands!!! You opened the door for me to ask you a question along those lines, but, more related to a video you published two months ago on how to deal with coworkers who want to act like they’re your boss. It turns out that, as you may have already noticed from my prior requests, I lack a lot on telling that type of people to back off or telling them to go do it themselves, but another problem I have picked up on about myself recently, is that I will never be able to apply any advice I get UNTIL... I ALSO learn to DETECT when I’m being bossed around! It turns out I’m the youngest of three siblings, so I grew up getting bossed around (and even bullied, being told to suck it up because younger siblings were deserving of nothing) day and night by my parents and siblings, so now as an adult I struggle with standing up for myself not only because I don’t know what to say, but because the other half of the times I don’t realize I’m being bossed around and immediately comply before I even realize what’s going on. In other words, my brain seems to have normalized being forced to be my family of origin’s floor mat after so many years of being their pee-on... And this really seems alarming to me. So, with that said, is there anything you can think of and suggest? Like any subtle details I need to be on the look out for, or any language or tones I should be listening for?
Again, thank you so much for what you do Dan!!! You really are a God sent for many of us!
Cupcakes Aside thank you so much for your advice! And yes! Emotional literacy is something I so tragically struggle to develop/acquire! I will practice REPEATEDLY FLIPPING the coin!!!! You couldn’t have put it in better words! Thank you so much!!! Oh! And I know you prefer not to mention the other channel out of respect for Dan, but the terminology you mentioned did spark a channel’s name in my mind! So I will make sure I watch that channel as well for strategies!!! Thanks again!!!
Cupcakes Aside thank you so much! I will look him up! Richard Grannon it is!
I don’t consider myself very handy in social situations, but I am impressed with myself on this one! All your suggestions I have figured out on my own throughout the years!! (After many escalations with angry people). And they work as a charm because I cannot even remember the last time anyone freaking out on me. I always say things in line with your suggestions, and the angry person shows some kind of relief, almost like a thank you for helping him/her to break free from their anger.
Good advice!
Great Job Dan! You look fit. Intermittent fasting?
Thanks Taylor, and on the off-chance you are being serious :) :) -- pretty good metabolism. :) :)
Did I miss the free tools mentioned at 2:25? I don’t see them below. Thank you Dan!
These phrases are definitely triggering and I've experienced all of them from someone close to me. Some people might have good intentions but are so clueless as to how their words can trigger.
In my experience, these phrases are used intentionally to trigger someone.
Happy birthday!
I was trying to access the free resources using the link provided and no matter what source I used it kept saying “not available” or that it could not connect to a server. Could you guide me to where I’d be able to access these free resources please? I really need them lol
Relax!
I'm a cop, I have used this advice and have deescalated a few. Doesn't always work, but it definitely works when it does... and I can mind my business 20 minutes later lol.
I've been a Public Safety Officer and I know from experience that, never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.
😉😎
Finallyyyyyy figured it out. You look like iron man
A phrase that really infuriates me is “are you okay?” as if they are in danger ...
OH, Another phrase to add to the Do Not say is, " it's Alright,..", this lady almost Attacked Me!!
❤️😊
OK, first a heart and then a heart with a smile. Waiting for the next comment.
You are awesome…. But some of the communication skills , I think , only you could pull off
Karen, you have to try them before you come to that conclusion. Let me know when you do and we'll talk about it.
@@TheWizardOfWords you are too kind 😊❤️
I also like to say “relax” because it really calms them right down thx 🙏
Oh gosh I apologise Faheem, I disagree as I feel that’s just the same as “calm down” I feel. Love to you x
What about angry being met with sadness? My life experience says its often ignored. LOL :-D
Can you elaborate, please?
"Calm down."
>> _famous last words_
Yes.
Absolutely. I hate it when they say calm down. It's so condescending
You'll observe, that the one that's telling you to calm down, is the one that pissed you off in the 1 st place
“Relax”, is the worst.
I disagree. You should never tell a person how they feel. I would thank them for informing me of the problem. Also, as much as possible, give them the chance to get it out of their system.
Thanks for writing, Mervyn.
Naccistists do not have feelings the way we have …. 3:55
“You killed two birds with one atone???” Very surprising a master communicator would use such a disgusting adage.
Really? I was referring to the turkeys my family eats at Thanksgiving. Is that disgusting? How about that tired butterfly that never lands??
I think these people you have in mind may have borderline personality disorder