My parents never let me go to sleepovers but they only ever explained it other than them saying "We're just worried about your safety" which made me feel like it was a useless rule. If my parents had explained it deeper like this I would've understood better, but when you just set the rules and skip the explaination, it only creates resentment rather than understanding in the child.
Same thing happened to me as a child! I was incredibly resentful until my mom gave me the full reason when I was 16. I understood my parents reasoning by then, but at that point there were several years of built up frustration that couldn’t be easily undone. I’ve forgiven them but as a kid it’s super frustrating
Parents sometimes don't recognize how vitally important this is. When I was a kiddo I got involved in inappropriate behavior during a group sleepover largely due to the stigma of getting my peers in trouble, but even moreso that I actually felt like I was being involved in something rather than sidelined or ignored. It was because of those unmet needs and desire to belong that I was participating in it at all. Thankfully the parent responsible for us understood that I hadn't held any sort of control in the situation and that I was just following along with what my friends wanted to do. I don't recall being punished or reprimanded at all other than being asked what happened, what my role was, and understanding that what happened was a bad thing. I'm safe and okay with no lasting trauma from that experience, it occurred over a phone call (mid 2000s, when landlines were commonplace) and I wasn't violated or pressured to do anything
I really loved when she said something like keep asking for help. Make sure they hear you and do something. Far too often kids don't feel empowered enough to keep asking until they get the help they need. I really loved that she said that and wish more adults felt like this was ok for them too ❤
That's SO important. Kids aren't used to advocating for themselves and being prepared to do what it takes to get what they need. If a kid talks to the wrong adult first (one who doesn't help), it's unlikely to occur to a kid to keep trying - especially to try to get help from another adult.
I really like the non-judgment and using the word struggle when talking about the things other kids do. That’s something we talk about with our kids when we talk about kids doing things that are contrary to what we have taught them as being right or wrong.
Thanks for making these videos! It's fun to see how you address all these different topics. One tip that you may want to consider for future videos: I think it'd be helpful to mention the child's age (or age range) at the start of the video. Jono's kid acting is entertaining, but has given me young-kid vibes in basically every video I've seen so far, so some of the dialog in this one seemed kinda odd until the end, where you mentioned this conversation actually happened with a teenager. Maybe I'm just bad at picking up on subtleties of different age groups, but I think mentioning the age at the beginning would remove the ambiguity and give folks a little extra context as they're thinking through how much tailoring they might need to do for their own kids.
I would also be curious about the age of the child in this video. This is especially because the specific unsafe topic examples used are regarding sexuality, including things like dirty jokes, and I'd be curious to understand where the age-appropriateness boundaries are being drawn here.
I love the wording on this, so you're protecting your kid, without putting others down. My mom's language wasn't so nice, but she did tell me from a young age to not do anything I didn't want to do and I had the tools and I never did. She probably read it in a parenting book.
Jonathan, you have missed your calling as an actor. Thank you Jonathan and Alicia for this video. I am afraid I'm instilling a lot of fear in my kids when I have these types of talks. I'm not ready for my kids to go to sleep overs but the are asking.
We don’t do sleepovers except with a few cousins we know are safe and have safe parents. Work moves us every few years so that’s not enough time to grow great friendships where we know their friends’ parents well enough to do friend sleepovers, so we do late overs instead. The kids go home between 11 and midnight. Camp we try to have one of us there, if possible, and we talk about safety and respect. But I like what y’all did. I’ll definitely be using that for my kids when these topics come up again.
I've listened to each of these True Parentimg videos MANY times now. And I've come to really appreciate and get the hang of the skills demonstrated here. Jono & Alica (and yes, Alicia especially) have serious hard learned and hard earned ninja parenting skills. Just awesome. I'm learning so much - and not just parenting - about how to talk about "difficult" / potentially emotional things with anyone.
True parenting is such a fun idea! One thing I will say is when Alicia turns towards Jono her voice gets quieter in the video and Jono tends to look directly towards the camera when talking to the audience which is more engaging. Anyway, thanks for the great content! I wish I had parents like the two of you.
I love jono’s acting! You guys seem to have fun making these. And Alicia’s ability to ask questions and educate while still giving your kids the chance to make their own decisions is really amazing!
I (a girl) went to sleepovers all the time growing up, and i never got this type of talk, and nothing bad happened. it was 10+ years ago so it wasnt as dangerous maybe
I don’t think the level of danger has changed. It’s just luck. Luckily more parents have been talking to their children about consent and safety, so hopefully things will become safer
Due to luck, nothing bad happened to me during sleepovers either. But I would never let my kids go to sleepovers. The adult minding the kids might be a pe*do.
Seeing this is so painful because my parents (or mother) were the opposite. I was sent to Summer Camps between the age of 8 and 11. Only the last one was save and beautiful but the other three were unsave. I returned traumatized from two of them. The first was the worst. There were never any savety rules and there was hardly any comfort afterward. After the third Summer Camp I came home with a couple of dírty jokes other girls told and got in trouble for that. One of the worst thing aout that camp was, that my brother was sent their as well but I hardly ever got the chance to talk to him alone and we never talked about it later on. We also told our parents several events but I skipt the most painfull ones.- (I don't know weather he told my mother something in privat.).I'm so glad we at least didn't have any smart phones back in the 90s. *Shuddering* -As for sleepovers. I never had many friends so there was only one time when I slept over at my best friend's when i was 11 that was actually really nice and kind of special. Besides I was allowed to stay with my Godmother and my other cousins form Germany for a couple of days. That made me feel special too. I even wished I could stay longer. -We also spend a lot of time with my mother's younger siblings who are about my age which was mostly ok, I only felt a little umfortable around that grandpa all the time. But we experienced a lot of amazing advatures too. -But we never had any friend's at our home for sleepover only my cousins when we were little. They stayed with us for christmas. That was alright too but I never felt save when we visited our Aunt in return in Summer.
Wow! Love hearing this situation. I used to always wonder why my mom never let me sleepover at a friend's house. Yes, I understood when I got older, but if it was explained to me like this, I wonder if I wouldn't have resented my mom for it.
This is great, but also... my kid cannot listen for this long. It'd be great to see what you would say to a kid who doesn't have the ability to stay engaged for this long.
It's so important to talk to your kids about body safety. A lot of kids take nudes and end up getting blackmailed. They don't tell anyone because of guilt and shame.
This isn't really relevant to the video, but I have to say it somewhere, and I really hope you see this: You said in a video a few months back that it's okay to think that homosexuality is a choice. The problem is, when gay people say it isn't a choice, they're probably speaking from experience. So telling them that they chose it, is like gaslighting, and it really hurts! I would know. I have seen a lot of angry so-called Christians, and you don't seem like that. If we grow up Christian, we're often just as sincere as you are. If you wouldn't choose something you were taught would send you to hell, why would we? So please believe us about our own lives, because we need more Christians that heal instead of hurt. Thank you.
WAIT THEY SAID THAT!!!!???? I've heard Jono be pro poly, so I can't imagine he's anti gay. I'm so sorry if that happened and they said that. It is untrue and so hurtful
I think that belonging to any part of the lgbtq+ community is both a choice and not a choice. You can have certain feelings and thoughts and they're absolutely valid. No one can take away those feelings and parts of you because they're absolutely a part of you. But I think the choice comes in when it's down to choosing how you want to live. Regardless of what you choose those feelings are still valid and your choice at the end of the day is also valid. Did that make any sense? 😅
@@tell-me-a-story- That's what I heard during that video. Not that the attraction was a choice, but like all attractions there is always a choice on whether or not to act on it.
How do you explain to kids that perps are more likely to be someone you know and trust than a stranger without making them paranoid and distrustful of everyone?
Far too many very sketchy things happened at sleepovers when I was growing up. We simply don’t do them with our kids. There’s lots of other fun stuff to do. For me, sleepovers are just an unnecessary risk.
my parents talk to me with a lot of fears, at school i was exposed to all kind of things, same as sleep overs, grooming, pxrn, terrible language and bad behavior, i was the good child who always rejected all this things that where uncomfortable to me, it did isolate me a through out my school days, kids are becoming more ruthless as time goes on, but now that am an adult i choose good friends that share my same way of thinking and are respectable people, it nonetheless prevent me from hanging out with the wrong people who to this days their lives are completely ruin, and they are barely 19-24 yo so yea, sometimes isolation can be good if your child is mature enough, soon or later they will find people who are in their same maturity level and comprehension
@@bitterbunn1831 Yeah it's a kinda dumb question. I wouldn't want my kids to be friends with anyone who thinks its ok to sexually assault or bully another child.
Totally off topic, but did anyone notice that the stuffy in Jono’s lap must have a green stripe on it? It disappeared and instead looks like the car seat fabric.
Interesting. As a viewer from Germany, this feels extremely over-bearing and over-protective. Sleep-overs tend to be totally normal and a day-to-day experience here. There's hardly a week when my boys don't have a friend over or sleep elsewhere themselves. We talk a lot about general issues of safety and bounderies of course (these are important topics for kids no matter where they go) and I always check in on them when they come back, and they know they can always call me and get out of a situation they don't like when they need to. But I would never lecture them like this before they go to a friend. I'd feel like I put the fear of life into them instead of the joy. I generally don't think lectures are a good way to teach your kids things. That's not a conversation, thats preaching.
My parents never let me go to sleepovers but they only ever explained it other than them saying "We're just worried about your safety" which made me feel like it was a useless rule. If my parents had explained it deeper like this I would've understood better, but when you just set the rules and skip the explaination, it only creates resentment rather than understanding in the child.
Same thing happened to me as a child! I was incredibly resentful until my mom gave me the full reason when I was 16. I understood my parents reasoning by then, but at that point there were several years of built up frustration that couldn’t be easily undone. I’ve forgiven them but as a kid it’s super frustrating
Honestly not only in a child!
"That deer is roaming around in the moring."
Random distracted child stuff, love it.
About safety...that car wheel is kinda loose, might want to get that checked out. xD
And wear belts!
😂😂
Pretty sure that’s actually a pilates wheel as well.
Parents sometimes don't recognize how vitally important this is. When I was a kiddo I got involved in inappropriate behavior during a group sleepover largely due to the stigma of getting my peers in trouble, but even moreso that I actually felt like I was being involved in something rather than sidelined or ignored. It was because of those unmet needs and desire to belong that I was participating in it at all.
Thankfully the parent responsible for us understood that I hadn't held any sort of control in the situation and that I was just following along with what my friends wanted to do. I don't recall being punished or reprimanded at all other than being asked what happened, what my role was, and understanding that what happened was a bad thing.
I'm safe and okay with no lasting trauma from that experience, it occurred over a phone call (mid 2000s, when landlines were commonplace) and I wasn't violated or pressured to do anything
I really loved when she said something like keep asking for help. Make sure they hear you and do something.
Far too often kids don't feel empowered enough to keep asking until they get the help they need. I really loved that she said that and wish more adults felt like this was ok for them too ❤
That's SO important. Kids aren't used to advocating for themselves and being prepared to do what it takes to get what they need. If a kid talks to the wrong adult first (one who doesn't help), it's unlikely to occur to a kid to keep trying - especially to try to get help from another adult.
I really like the non-judgment and using the word struggle when talking about the things other kids do. That’s something we talk about with our kids when we talk about kids doing things that are contrary to what we have taught them as being right or wrong.
Thanks for making these videos! It's fun to see how you address all these different topics.
One tip that you may want to consider for future videos: I think it'd be helpful to mention the child's age (or age range) at the start of the video. Jono's kid acting is entertaining, but has given me young-kid vibes in basically every video I've seen so far, so some of the dialog in this one seemed kinda odd until the end, where you mentioned this conversation actually happened with a teenager. Maybe I'm just bad at picking up on subtleties of different age groups, but I think mentioning the age at the beginning would remove the ambiguity and give folks a little extra context as they're thinking through how much tailoring they might need to do for their own kids.
I would also be curious about the age of the child in this video. This is especially because the specific unsafe topic examples used are regarding sexuality, including things like dirty jokes, and I'd be curious to understand where the age-appropriateness boundaries are being drawn here.
In the video they said “tweenager” so I’m guessing this child is somewhere between 11 and 13?
I love the wording on this, so you're protecting your kid, without putting others down. My mom's language wasn't so nice, but she did tell me from a young age to not do anything I didn't want to do and I had the tools and I never did. She probably read it in a parenting book.
Jonathan, you have missed your calling as an actor. Thank you Jonathan and Alicia for this video. I am afraid I'm instilling a lot of fear in my kids when I have these types of talks. I'm not ready for my kids to go to sleep overs but the are asking.
We don’t do sleepovers except with a few cousins we know are safe and have safe parents. Work moves us every few years so that’s not enough time to grow great friendships where we know their friends’ parents well enough to do friend sleepovers, so we do late overs instead. The kids go home between 11 and midnight.
Camp we try to have one of us there, if possible, and we talk about safety and respect. But I like what y’all did. I’ll definitely be using that for my kids when these topics come up again.
I've listened to each of these True Parentimg videos MANY times now. And I've come to really appreciate and get the hang of the skills demonstrated here. Jono & Alica (and yes, Alicia especially) have serious hard learned and hard earned ninja parenting skills. Just awesome.
I'm learning so much - and not just parenting - about how to talk about "difficult" / potentially emotional things with anyone.
I like how you talk calmly and explain things in a understandable/kind way
True parenting is such a fun idea! One thing I will say is when Alicia turns towards Jono her voice gets quieter in the video and Jono tends to look directly towards the camera when talking to the audience which is more engaging.
Anyway, thanks for the great content! I wish I had parents like the two of you.
I love jono’s acting! You guys seem to have fun making these. And Alicia’s ability to ask questions and educate while still giving your kids the chance to make their own decisions is really amazing!
I love this! Down with family vlogs! Family reenactments ftw!
I (a girl) went to sleepovers all the time growing up, and i never got this type of talk, and nothing bad happened. it was 10+ years ago so it wasnt as dangerous maybe
I don’t think the level of danger has changed. It’s just luck. Luckily more parents have been talking to their children about consent and safety, so hopefully things will become safer
Due to luck, nothing bad happened to me during sleepovers either. But I would never let my kids go to sleepovers. The adult minding the kids might be a pe*do.
That was such a great example of a safety talk! Also, I thought we were the only family to use the cereal as a “pet” name. 😂
I'm watching this as I'm waiting for my 9 yr boys to get home from a sleepover they had at their friend's house lol
Seeing this is so painful because my parents (or mother) were the opposite. I was sent to Summer Camps between the age of 8 and 11. Only the last one was save and beautiful but the other three were unsave. I returned traumatized from two of them. The first was the worst. There were never any savety rules and there was hardly any comfort afterward. After the third Summer Camp I came home with a couple of dírty jokes other girls told and got in trouble for that. One of the worst thing aout that camp was, that my brother was sent their as well but I hardly ever got the chance to talk to him alone and we never talked about it later on. We also told our parents several events but I skipt the most painfull ones.- (I don't know weather he told my mother something in privat.).I'm so glad we at least didn't have any smart phones back in the 90s. *Shuddering* -As for sleepovers. I never had many friends so there was only one time when I slept over at my best friend's when i was 11 that was actually really nice and kind of special. Besides I was allowed to stay with my Godmother and my other cousins form Germany for a couple of days. That made me feel special too. I even wished I could stay longer. -We also spend a lot of time with my mother's younger siblings who are about my age which was mostly ok, I only felt a little umfortable around that grandpa all the time. But we experienced a lot of amazing advatures too. -But we never had any friend's at our home for sleepover only my cousins when we were little. They stayed with us for christmas. That was alright too but I never felt save when we visited our Aunt in return in Summer.
This is immediately added into my parenting playlist 🥳
Wow! Love hearing this situation. I used to always wonder why my mom never let me sleepover at a friend's house. Yes, I understood when I got older, but if it was explained to me like this, I wonder if I wouldn't have resented my mom for it.
Important! Tricky subject that I'm glad you addressed. Thanks!
True Parenting? Helping me out before my child arrives! 🥳
This is great, but also... my kid cannot listen for this long. It'd be great to see what you would say to a kid who doesn't have the ability to stay engaged for this long.
It's so important to talk to your kids about body safety. A lot of kids take nudes and end up getting blackmailed. They don't tell anyone because of guilt and shame.
Gold.
This isn't really relevant to the video, but I have to say it somewhere, and I really hope you see this: You said in a video a few months back that it's okay to think that homosexuality is a choice. The problem is, when gay people say it isn't a choice, they're probably speaking from experience. So telling them that they chose it, is like gaslighting, and it really hurts! I would know. I have seen a lot of angry so-called Christians, and you don't seem like that. If we grow up Christian, we're often just as sincere as you are. If you wouldn't choose something you were taught would send you to hell, why would we? So please believe us about our own lives, because we need more Christians that heal instead of hurt. Thank you.
Well, having sex is always a choice, though the attraction probably isn't.
WAIT THEY SAID THAT!!!!???? I've heard Jono be pro poly, so I can't imagine he's anti gay. I'm so sorry if that happened and they said that. It is untrue and so hurtful
@@tell-me-a-story-yeah bc rape doesn't exist. GTFO
I think that belonging to any part of the lgbtq+ community is both a choice and not a choice. You can have certain feelings and thoughts and they're absolutely valid. No one can take away those feelings and parts of you because they're absolutely a part of you. But I think the choice comes in when it's down to choosing how you want to live. Regardless of what you choose those feelings are still valid and your choice at the end of the day is also valid. Did that make any sense? 😅
@@tell-me-a-story- That's what I heard during that video. Not that the attraction was a choice, but like all attractions there is always a choice on whether or not to act on it.
How do you explain to kids that perps are more likely to be someone you know and trust than a stranger without making them paranoid and distrustful of everyone?
Far too many very sketchy things happened at sleepovers when I was growing up. We simply don’t do them with our kids. There’s lots of other fun stuff to do. For me, sleepovers are just an unnecessary risk.
Question: what if the safety measures ans attitude result in the child being excluded from the group? Be it school friends or other social groups?
my parents talk to me with a lot of fears, at school i was exposed to all kind of things, same as sleep overs, grooming, pxrn, terrible language and bad behavior, i was the good child who always rejected all this things that where uncomfortable to me, it did isolate me a through out my school days, kids are becoming more ruthless as time goes on, but now that am an adult i choose good friends that share my same way of thinking and are respectable people, it nonetheless prevent me from hanging out with the wrong people who to this days their lives are completely ruin, and they are barely 19-24 yo so yea, sometimes isolation can be good if your child is mature enough, soon or later they will find people who are in their same maturity level and comprehension
@@bitterbunn1831 Yeah it's a kinda dumb question. I wouldn't want my kids to be friends with anyone who thinks its ok to sexually assault or bully another child.
I have the play and the structure, just not the clarity.
Also, if it’s a camp with multiple adults, I’m ok, if it’s just a friend, we do lateovers, and they come home to sleep, but play late into the night.
Totally off topic, but did anyone notice that the stuffy in Jono’s lap must have a green stripe on it? It disappeared and instead looks like the car seat fabric.
Helpful. Mom to a 5 year old.b
Lol fancy seeing you here. 😂
@@timtheasianinc I love them and Cinema Therepy
@@caffinejedi Same. They've helped me with a lot. 😁
Im just here to see Jono in a blonde wig. 😂😂
I was vibing with that outro. Sounded like a spy theme.
JONO please do mended light for being Erica
I love that show!!
What is the average age parents let kids go to sleep overs?
I just can't get past how Alicia talks AT her children instead of with them.
During these kinds of conversations my kids would not talk. It's more information... for clarification: could have talked, but would not.
True parenting with no seatbelts on
I want a Byson
For the algorithm
How old is she?
Dude c' mon...why 😂😂😂
Interesting. As a viewer from Germany, this feels extremely over-bearing and over-protective. Sleep-overs tend to be totally normal and a day-to-day experience here. There's hardly a week when my boys don't have a friend over or sleep elsewhere themselves. We talk a lot about general issues of safety and bounderies of course (these are important topics for kids no matter where they go) and I always check in on them when they come back, and they know they can always call me and get out of a situation they don't like when they need to. But I would never lecture them like this before they go to a friend. I'd feel like I put the fear of life into them instead of the joy. I generally don't think lectures are a good way to teach your kids things. That's not a conversation, thats preaching.
Idk, too long of a lecture maybe?