For neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism): Ana kind of expressed this but it’s helpful for me to reduce masking as much as possible. There’s a pressure (internal and external) to have certain facial expressions or a certain tone of voice and trying keep that up for long periods of time takes a ridiculous amount of energy. I’ve contextualized this in a way where showing up without a mask or a reduced mask gives people the opportunity to accept me as I am. There’s definitely a balance of putting yourself out there in a warm way but also allowing “awkward” moments to occur without internalizing these moments as a character flaw - it takes two people to converse and sometimes you just don’t vibe
Really useful. I think I know what you mean about valuing other people for their uniqueness.. I have noticed one thing, that I rarely get exhausted when doing photography, its more like «now its time to stop»-thing. I am doing a course in taking photos of people, and I notice that it invigorates me. The approach is essential. To observe and take photos can be a pretty introverted thing, so I feel kind of more in place. Still, when taking photos of living people, I need to connect, and I found your little video here very useful. Thanks.
I definitely have a social battery as an extrovert. Everyone does. I just get really drained by being alone. I think people don’t understand that being an extrovert doesn’t mean you can keep going infinitely. We all need rest
I’ve recently started trying to separate different forms of exhaustion in my mind as having multiple batteries rather than one single battery. That way I don’t use social exhaustion as a reason to avoid other things.
In improv comedy they say 'know each other, like each other'. I really like this as a basis for any interaction. Definitely easier to do with new people, but I tried to remind myself this as a mantra whenever I lose patience with someone.
This appears to be another lens on attachment healing, and changing one’s attachment style from and insecure style to a more secure style. Thanks for posting! 🔥
I think the key as you said, is to be engaged in the social activity you are going to be and also by not being a judge with other people and only focus on their bad traits. I think this is caused because of insecurity issues, so you need to see the defects on others to cope a little bit with yourself, when you become more secure, at least in my case, you start to worry less about what others could think and also stopped focusing on their defects, once i did that, my social battery life grew, but still i need moments of being just with myself.
This is helpful. Not sure why but the last few months I've started really judging people a lot. Not sure why this started but it has created a barrier in my social life. Appreciate you reminding me how important it is to focus on the positive traits.
Fascinating, that actually makes a lot of sense. I do know that like in interactions Id get burnt out faster if I felt like I had to put in extra effort to be a part of it: likewise I was also much faster to leave if there was coffee or food I couldnt eat. Reminds me how a lot of people cannot stand plainly, as themselves without feeling uncomfortable. They have to be doing something, otherwise they have a hard time fully engaging in the social interaction
bring back the old music!! i would do a little shuffle dance every time a new video dropped but anyways great video as always. i find that getting interested in people takes you out of your own head and makes the time just melt.
This is a really interesting video for me. I'm 100% an introvert but I've had introverts accuse me of lying? It's probably because when they interact with me I've made accommodations to help my social battery last days. I can assure you, in the wrong environment it might not even last 2 hours. I really enjoy socialising in the same way I can enjoy working out. I only do workouts I enjoy (weight training, swimming, walking, etc.) and don't bother with things I don't (intense cardio/HITT). In the same way, I only give my energy to socialising that I enjoy. It might still be tiring, but it is a pleasant tired because I feel seen and connected. Plus I feel the benefits of having strong social connections in the rest of my life. Just like exercise, I sleep better, I'm happier and I'm in less pain.
Ok, I hear you and I like the message and methods you provided in this video. That said, I put SO MUCH attention and effort into social interaction. Mostly putting it into things like: Making sure I don’t offend the people involved Being accommodated Hearing and listening to everyone Making everyone feel seen and heard Quelling my MONSTEROUS anxiety Etc. I’m pretty sure I heard you address things like too much worry in interactions so I’ll try to find that again.
I love what you said about active rest, I had that same realization lately and it’s still very tempting and easy to do the passive rest but I can feel the differences of how it makes me feel later
Hey Ana! This is very helpful. Thank you for this video. If you cna please cna you make another video for those of us who are burnt out from people because of trauma? I fiund myself become introverted because of years of trauma. I lost interest in people and they just irritate me. But i don't want to be a recluse. I also have speech impediment because of childhood trauma so that doesn't help me either. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you 🙏❤️
I lost interest in people and get annoyed by them very easily as well. I know being a recluse isn't good for me but I just can't help it. Socializing even casually is unbearable. So you're not alone in that. I don't know if mine's from trauma though. I have been through some "stuff" in the past decade including severe mental illness and the "stuff" is related to that.
I heard you say that changing your social circle to people who talked about things that interested you enabled you to get into flow in socializing. I haven't found anyone like that. Normally, socializing is an aversive experience. Caring about and appreciating my interlocutor doesn't make it less aversive. Reading or doing projects doesn't seem to change things either. It gives me more to talk about, but doesn't make that talking easier. I don't think your method generalizes to me 😢
Everyone making a big deal about Ana using the word rawdog is hilarious 🤣 and yes I know what it means. Maybe it’s just a gen z thing, but I hear people use that word all the time (in a non-saucy context)
introvert, low battery, none of this works on me. I don't feel like I have any sort of control of my social battery. I just go off and I need way too much rest with very little social interaction. I'm kinda hopeless rn, but I'm going to therapy expecting to get better
It might help you to figure out why exactly you get drained. For INTJs/INFJs, it's sensory rather than emotional -- that means, crowds, smells, and noise. And this doesn't get better by forcing yourself to care/engage more. My rule number one is to never do more than one social event in a day. There are special earplugs that help (good grief, in America, people are effing loud all the time!), but the only way I can handle this over the top extroverted society is by physically removing myself from the scene. Restrooms don't work for me -- the risk of someone having brainlessly sprayed some toxic 'air refresher' is way too high. So I pretend I'm a smoker, I go outside for ten minutes, close my eyes, and just breathe. I can handle one-on-one conversations for up to 8 hours without breaks, btw. With the right person. Also, detox from fortified food/enriched flour. Takes about 3-5 months to get this crap out of your system. You want only natural B-vitamins in your system.
As someone who tends to be lazy and apathetic, does that mean saying fk it and learn wtv u can about other ppl will naturally keep u interested in them? I have found myself forgetting about certain info about others :
The more I listen to stuff on these topics, the less I can see people as introverts and extroverts. I thought it was a fixed feature of a persons nature(maybe even biology), but all the people I listened to, who changed, are talking about things they had to overcome or work through. like things that where put in their way and they had to recognise these to being able to change. In my understanding if I where a real introvert I would have to put on extra gear to be able to "act" or feel like an extrovert. But that would be more like masking but that drains your batterie even more. Am I missing something or is it more like people behaving introvertish and not being an introvert or is it just my way of thinking of identity? Open for other opinions
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I never thought I'd hear Dr. Ana telling me to rawdog life.
Lmao
As she should
Yeah, two hours into the party is generally when people start asking me if I'm alright.
🫶
your profil pict tell me about it
@@sacha_msky It's Jean-Baptiste Say.
For neurodivergent folks (specifically those with autism): Ana kind of expressed this but it’s helpful for me to reduce masking as much as possible. There’s a pressure (internal and external) to have certain facial expressions or a certain tone of voice and trying keep that up for long periods of time takes a ridiculous amount of energy. I’ve contextualized this in a way where showing up without a mask or a reduced mask gives people the opportunity to accept me as I am. There’s definitely a balance of putting yourself out there in a warm way but also allowing “awkward” moments to occur without internalizing these moments as a character flaw - it takes two people to converse and sometimes you just don’t vibe
The plotting your escape is so relatable.
Really useful. I think I know what you mean about valuing other people for their uniqueness.. I have noticed one thing, that I rarely get exhausted when doing photography, its more like «now its time to stop»-thing. I am doing a course in taking photos of people, and I notice that it invigorates me. The approach is essential. To observe and take photos can be a pretty introverted thing, so I feel kind of more in place. Still, when taking photos of living people, I need to connect, and I found your little video here very useful. Thanks.
Sounds like you've found a passion that really gets you in a state of flow! :)
I definitely have a social battery as an extrovert. Everyone does. I just get really drained by being alone. I think people don’t understand that being an extrovert doesn’t mean you can keep going infinitely. We all need rest
I’ve recently started trying to separate different forms of exhaustion in my mind as having multiple batteries rather than one single battery. That way I don’t use social exhaustion as a reason to avoid other things.
In improv comedy they say 'know each other, like each other'. I really like this as a basis for any interaction. Definitely easier to do with new people, but I tried to remind myself this as a mantra whenever I lose patience with someone.
This appears to be another lens on attachment healing, and changing one’s attachment style from and insecure style to a more secure style. Thanks for posting! 🔥
I think the key as you said, is to be engaged in the social activity you are going to be and also by not being a judge with other people and only focus on their bad traits. I think this is caused because of insecurity issues, so you need to see the defects on others to cope a little bit with yourself, when you become more secure, at least in my case, you start to worry less about what others could think and also stopped focusing on their defects, once i did that, my social battery life grew, but still i need moments of being just with myself.
This is helpful. Not sure why but the last few months I've started really judging people a lot. Not sure why this started but it has created a barrier in my social life. Appreciate you reminding me how important it is to focus on the positive traits.
Fascinating, that actually makes a lot of sense. I do know that like in interactions Id get burnt out faster if I felt like I had to put in extra effort to be a part of it: likewise I was also much faster to leave if there was coffee or food I couldnt eat.
Reminds me how a lot of people cannot stand plainly, as themselves without feeling uncomfortable. They have to be doing something, otherwise they have a hard time fully engaging in the social interaction
9:30 did not expect those words
Lol oops
Damn
haha rawdoging social interactions 😂perfect
great video
thanks for your work!
bring back the old music!! i would do a little shuffle dance every time a new video dropped
but anyways great video as always. i find that getting interested in people takes you out of your own head and makes the time just melt.
This is a really interesting video for me. I'm 100% an introvert but I've had introverts accuse me of lying? It's probably because when they interact with me I've made accommodations to help my social battery last days. I can assure you, in the wrong environment it might not even last 2 hours. I really enjoy socialising in the same way I can enjoy working out. I only do workouts I enjoy (weight training, swimming, walking, etc.) and don't bother with things I don't (intense cardio/HITT). In the same way, I only give my energy to socialising that I enjoy. It might still be tiring, but it is a pleasant tired because I feel seen and connected. Plus I feel the benefits of having strong social connections in the rest of my life. Just like exercise, I sleep better, I'm happier and I'm in less pain.
Ok, I hear you and I like the message and methods you provided in this video.
That said, I put SO MUCH attention and effort into social interaction. Mostly putting it into things like:
Making sure I don’t offend the people involved
Being accommodated
Hearing and listening to everyone
Making everyone feel seen and heard
Quelling my MONSTEROUS anxiety
Etc.
I’m pretty sure I heard you address things like too much worry in interactions so I’ll try to find that again.
I learn so much from your videos. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you so much!
I love what you said about active rest, I had that same realization lately and it’s still very tempting and easy to do the passive rest but I can feel the differences of how it makes me feel later
Hey Ana! This is very helpful. Thank you for this video. If you cna please cna you make another video for those of us who are burnt out from people because of trauma? I fiund myself become introverted because of years of trauma. I lost interest in people and they just irritate me. But i don't want to be a recluse. I also have speech impediment because of childhood trauma so that doesn't help me either. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you 🙏❤️
Thanks for the suggestion! Noted
I lost interest in people and get annoyed by them very easily as well. I know being a recluse isn't good for me but I just can't help it. Socializing even casually is unbearable. So you're not alone in that. I don't know if mine's from trauma though. I have been through some "stuff" in the past decade including severe mental illness and the "stuff" is related to that.
Wait hold up, please tell us more about this person who liked to eat paper because I distinctly remember having a friend who did the same thing...
I use the same mindset and analogy in my life but I’ve never saw it in that aspect, thank you so much anna❤.
You are worthy of admiration. Really amazing work. Keep sharing please. ❤
Ok - gotta rawdog it. Thank you.
ngl i miss the o.g intro, was hella groovy. had me bopping and doing a funky dance.
Thank you for this video❤
I heard you say that changing your social circle to people who talked about things that interested you enabled you to get into flow in socializing. I haven't found anyone like that. Normally, socializing is an aversive experience. Caring about and appreciating my interlocutor doesn't make it less aversive. Reading or doing projects doesn't seem to change things either. It gives me more to talk about, but doesn't make that talking easier. I don't think your method generalizes to me 😢
Looks like you haven't found your people yet, and I hope you do!
I have a request. Do you think you can do a video on the topic to why so many women obsess over witchcraft & rituals?
Everyone making a big deal about Ana using the word rawdog is hilarious 🤣 and yes I know what it means. Maybe it’s just a gen z thing, but I hear people use that word all the time (in a non-saucy context)
introvert, low battery, none of this works on me. I don't feel like I have any sort of control of my social battery. I just go off and I need way too much rest with very little social interaction. I'm kinda hopeless rn, but I'm going to therapy expecting to get better
It might help you to figure out why exactly you get drained.
For INTJs/INFJs, it's sensory rather than emotional -- that means, crowds, smells, and noise. And this doesn't get better by forcing yourself to care/engage more.
My rule number one is to never do more than one social event in a day.
There are special earplugs that help (good grief, in America, people are effing loud all the time!), but the only way I can handle this over the top extroverted society is by physically removing myself from the scene.
Restrooms don't work for me -- the risk of someone having brainlessly sprayed some toxic 'air refresher' is way too high. So I pretend I'm a smoker, I go outside for ten minutes, close my eyes, and just breathe.
I can handle one-on-one conversations for up to 8 hours without breaks, btw. With the right person.
Also, detox from fortified food/enriched flour. Takes about 3-5 months to get this crap out of your system. You want only natural B-vitamins in your system.
New music!
As someone who tends to be lazy and apathetic, does that mean saying fk it and learn wtv u can about other ppl will naturally keep u interested in them? I have found myself forgetting about certain info about others :
The more I listen to stuff on these topics, the less I can see people as introverts and extroverts. I thought it was a fixed feature of a persons nature(maybe even biology), but all the people I listened to, who changed, are talking about things they had to overcome or work through. like things that where put in their way and they had to recognise these to being able to change. In my understanding if I where a real introvert I would have to put on extra gear to be able to "act" or feel like an extrovert. But that would be more like masking but that drains your batterie even more. Am I missing something or is it more like people behaving introvertish and not being an introvert or is it just my way of thinking of identity?
Open for other opinions
Ana, how can I accept myself?
Excellent question
I need to move. Maybe i need a new environment
Backstreet Boys - The Call
Nice song
❤
👏💛🎶
Great video but really makes me think you don’t know the origin of the term “raw dog” 😂😂
Unfortunately I couldn't find another expression for doing something without any safety equipment haha
I don't know the term what did I miss? 👀
Anna, are you an INFJ?
Do you have kids?