Ive had 5 babies and no csections. One of my biggest pet peeves in the mother community is anyone knocking a csection Mom. That's a SERIOUS surgery. Or the other c-section moms who throw in their "well I was on my feet x days later, she's just being lazy." or some equivalent to that. That's a MAJOR surgery. That's a BIG big big big deal. I'm grateful for the circumstances that allowed me to not be a c-section mom. And I have MAD respect for mothers who bring their babies into the world that way. And, I agree with you. Birth shapes you and your birth experience and how you perceive it really impacts who you are to your core.
I cannot imagine putting another mother down for their birth experience. At the end of the day, we are all doing the best we can for our babies and that’s the only thing that should matter.
If I could love this video I would. Although I did not have a c section to deliver my kids, I have friends who have. I respect the hell out of any mom no matter what path it takes to get her there. All mommas have some part of their birth stories that didn't go completely according to plan. It's how we heal and deal that help shape us.
@@AmandaMusewhat a great story on your childbearing experience I love watching stories on these topics I’m not a woman I can’t imagine as a guy going through labor and delivery but it’s not to late to learn about it
I’ve had a natural birth and a c-section. I have good and bad memories from both experiences. I have been lucky that no one has ever been judgmental about my birthing experiences. I’m just trying to navigate parenthood so I can’t imagine how some parents feel when people are rude or mean to them about how they gave birth or how they feel about the birth. Ultimately your feelings are yours.
My first section came after pre eclampsia and failed induction. I felt like everything was being done to me, and now looking back it completely shaped my first ever post partum experience. I just had my second 5 months ago, after 7 days of labour with no progression and I couldn’t take it anymore ! That section was AMAZING . My son was born into his first ever birthday party! Hubby there, sister as a nurse... ahh just grinning ear to ear thinking about it. Baby given to me right away, BF in post op. Ah. That experiences makes me want to do it again t was that good. 💙💙💙 completely healed me from my first ! I hope everyone gets that!
YES - the best thing is to let a new mama share her story. Not a c-section, but a traumatic birth 5 years ago and that's why #2 isn't here yet. I'm still working through the emotions. The worst part was the NICU separation so when you shared about your separation from Esmé, my heart was in my throat, because it's still so raw.
Oh boy, did I need this to wake up to!! 💕My first birth was an induction, which feels isolating...it wasn't a c section and so I don't feel like it was as painful or hard to recover from and it wasn't natural, so I don't feel part of the "club." I wanted a natural birthing experience, but then life happened. I was induced at 39 weeks, due to the early on sets of preeclampsia. Nearly two days later, barely 2 cm dilated, strapped to monitors, not being able to bathe or eat properly, being constantly watched by a nurse, sleeping on a tiny hospital bed and experiencing massive back pains, I wound up asking for an epidural. I feel like I failed. Like I chickened out or have to justify why I chose to take pain relief. After I had the epidural, literally within hours, I was fully dilated and pushing took all but 30 min. But I don't feel like I did anything, since I couldn't feel the contractions or pushing and was simply doing as the doctor told me to. Following the birth I had massive bleeding, baby was taken away, doctors unceremoniously tried to remove the blood clots bare handed from my uterus, by then the epidural had worn off, eventually I went down to the operating room. 😱It's a lot like you mentioned, everyone was ok in the end, but that journey has left its scars. 😕My body fell apart in post partum. This time around, second pregnancy, am actually planning a home birth, no signs of preeclampsia and am completely scared shitless! 🙈 I feel like this is my first birthing experience, since first time around I was numb. My sister in law recently gave birth, feet first, oh natural and I asked her what natural birth is like (this is her second baby and natural birth) and she just told me that you have to be prepared. If mentally you aren't there than physically it won't happen and I know because first time around, in a hospital setting, my body clammed up completely, baby hadn't dropped, no one was ready. She asked me when I'd taken the epidural first time around, I think I was 2-3 cm and she just made this awful face, like, "you're not gonna make it to 10." Just made me feel like shit. 😓 I have low self esteem and anxiety and clam up under pressure. I wanted my mom at the home birth, to take care of my daughter and simply be there, but things haven't worked out that way; she's still making mean and rude comments to me. So I've been left to ask my neighbour to assist, thank fuck she offered/accepted! But there are certain days where she's unavailable and so now we're looking to my mother in law as a back up plan; insane history and baggage there. And so I'm really nervous about who's going to be at the birth. It feels like I'm not really deciding and that's hard for me to deal with. First time around it was me and my husband and that's what I wanted again, plus our daughter, but another adult has to be there to care for her, plus we have animals to look after. Anywho, long story. 😅 But yeah totally get you! 💕
My first was an emergency c-sec, my second a forceps and my third was a water birth. Each was beautiful..Each was needed..Each brought me my beautiful baby safely. I am so grateful to live at a time when we can benefit from modern medicine. Life saving stuff. Thanks for being so real.
I love your comment about how a woman is made to feel during childbirth will impact her for a very long time. I had a hard time with pushing with my son and I feel like I always have to apologize for that. Now I’m pregnant with my second and I have performance anxiety like I’m going to “fail” again. Which I realize is so ridiculous! But the feeling is there and 100% made me fearful to become a mother again
I had a scheduled c section with my first. Fast forward 7.5 years later, while my doctor was supportive of a VBAC, i chose to have a second c section. I went with what I knew. I’m done having babies and I’ve never had a contraction. In the end I have 2 perfect kids, i wouldn’t have cared if they came out of my nose.
Thank you so much for making this video & sharing your story. I went through counselling for ptsd from birth trauma and had an emergency c section and so much of what you said really resonated. Amazing how many c section mamas I’ve now met who have had similar experiences, I wouldn’t even say “I gave birth” for literally months after I had my son and I know others who felt the same! Like everyone, we just need a little love so thank you, again, for doing just that through this video.
I can't thank you enough for this video. You have provided some sense of validation for the trauma I felt through my c-section experience. It was 5 years ago for me and still trying to get past the feelings of inadequacy, sadness etc etc. I have felt so alone in this as I am surrounded by women who have birthed well and can't understand. I haven't been able to reach that place where I felt I could handle another birth and now realizing at 43 that having a second won't happen and experiencing grief around that. Like you I still get emotional and cried with you as you shed tears. Your video helped today! As for my scar what has helped me is thinking about it as visual proof or mark of my privilege of having my daughter and the deep love I hold for her.
OH MY GOD it was like this video turned up at exactly the right time. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second child and after having a very traumatic first birth where my choice to have a water birth was also taken away from me due to serious medical issues that arose during the last few weeks, I have made the decision to have a planned cesarean this time around. I like you still get emotional talking about the first birth - but very unexpectedly. It wasn't until I started talking to the Dr's about my options and choices this time around that all of the emotion that I had never dealt with came rushing back, ultimately making the decision for me. I'm a very proud cesarean mumma because without it I would've died, and so would my lovely daughter. I think we need to talk about our experiences in birth with far more honesty and openness in order to help each other be okay with alternative experiences to what we thought we wanted, what we thought we could do, and what we thought was the "best" way to become a mother. Love Love Loved this video and really appreciate you sharing your story (ies).
I'm crying with you. My c-section was 3 1/2 years ago and I still struggle with all of the emotions related to it. Thank you for articulating what I've been feeling for years. I appreciate your honestly and openness so much. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, Amanda!! While I have not had a c-section and therefore can't (or won't pretend to) know what that's like, I have had 2 disappointing/traumatic births. I am still trying to get past the heart ache and emotions of my second one in particular, 2 years later. So I can understand your feelings in that aspect. Mommas are amazing, however we get there!! My hat goes off to any c-section momma, though, as I know that is no joke!! ❤️
Thank you so much for this! My first birth was a difficult experience for me and I've found it hard to explain my feelings to others. So important to support every mama in their own journey!
Thank you for that video 🙏🏻 I wanted a „natural“ birth so badly, but in the end he couldn’t come out, so c-section saved my baby. I can relate so much 😢. When you have to cry in the video it makes me so emotional and relate so much. You are wonderful. So well said 😽 Sending you love from Germany! Marie
This was beautiful! I never had a c-section so I can’t fathom how you truly feel. But with my daughter, the doctor said he was concerned and it might end up as a c-section and without even having the time to process it, I was already crying. The thought scared me so much that the words being spoken into reality made me start crying uncontrollably. I feel you and I am so glad you’re moving through this and talking about it.
You had me crying with you. I never realized how intense C-sections were until I seen people in my personal life have to have them. I have a whole new level of respect for csection mamas, because the recovery is no joke and emotional healing.Thank you for sharing your story. 🖤🖤
Thank you for sharing your story. I had two super scary c-sections (seriously, I still can't talk about them for fear of scaring other people) and it took a long time to recover emotionally. I actually really love my scar! My love for my children is permanently carved into my body. Every day I am thankful for it. Love your videos, Amanda! You always pick such interesting and important topics.
Amanda!!! I’ve been watching you and following you for quite some time now. One of very first videos that moved me was your birth story of Esme. I cried watching it because your story was so similar to my own and I almost felt like you were telling my story and understood how I felt. you are such a gifted, amazing story teller who knows how to touch people’s heart. ❤️
C-Section mama here. It was medically necessary, so the c section was planned. I read blogs and watched youtubers talking about their experience as I was terrified going into it. I mean, everyone from parents to the nurse in prenatal classes tell you all about vaginal birth. But c section was only mentioned in passing. Most people talked about how fast they healed. 1 week and they were ok moving around. 2 weeks to feel like regular routine. So it was SUCH a shock when I went through mine and, a month into it, I was still not myself. No one has personally judged me for having a c section, but just reading the harsh comments online makes you feel like crap. Then you have those saying how c section is the easy way out, the ignorance of which infuriates me. Then you have all the people who share their beautiful vaginal birth experiences and their perfect breastfeeding from moment one. There's just so much pressure on all of us mommies to have this blissful smooth birth experience that we beat ourselves up when it doesn't happen that way. I just want every pregnant mama out there to take the pressure off. Let life roll out the way it's supposed to be. A mama is a mama no matter how she got there. Stop the judging. 😊
Thank you so so much sharing your story and being vulnerable. I just had my second c section 5 months ago and whenever I am asked about my birth experience I am overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and grief over it not being the all natural amazing experience I dreamed of. I have two absolutely amazing children now, and most likely there won´t be another due to massive scarring and my boyfriend not wanting any more. So, another huge thing to grieve. It was helpful when you said, "it is part of your story". Hopefully I will be able to heal and give myself the grace I need...
Someone is cutting onions, a whole lot of onions.. All the onions in the world. Jokes apart this is such an eloquent way of telling your story. This was beautiful!
Thank you for this video, it gives me goosebumps remembering my experience: like you I had two c-sections, the first one was horrible and the second one was a healing experience... Respect for every mama and her story ❤️❤️❤️
What a fantastic topic to cover. Thank you. Ive just had a baby 2 weeks ago our 2nd. I was able to have a natural birth but it doesnt matter how you bring your baby into the world (c- section or natural birth) as long as they arrive safely and Mums ok. We're all Mums together and should respect other ladies stories 😊 Thats help lift each other up not pull each other down x
The end, you got me all teary, and yes be kind! Exactly, everyone has their own story and even though I’m not a C-section mom, I’ve have respect for those Mamas! Well said about the negativity, I’ve been seeing way too much of it lately... and not focus on that too much, end of story. I’m so glad you shared your story!
Such a wonderful video Amanda. You know my story, for the most part. I obviously had that VBAC with my third, but it ended up being a very traumatic experience. I do have that regret about not deciding on second c-section. I remember when Colette was a week old, we were all sitting down for dinner as a family and talked about my experience with my older girls and I started crying and couldn't stop. I hadn't cried or been upset (even during the traumatic birth) until that point and it all came out at once. My daughters were looking confused and wondering why I was crying. My husband explained to them what a tough time we had and that mommy was sad because it was very scary. I think it was good for them to see that. It's okay to be sad or disappointed in the way things turn out. We are all human and just because someone else may be going through something worse, doesn't mean our feelings aren't valid. Births are just one of many things that we hold to such a high standard. I don't know if it's the internet, or just in us to try to be "perfect" in everything we do...but it's exhausting. The pressure we put on ourselves it ridiculous. Most men don't compare themselves to others - at least my husband doesn't. And his life is so simple. Why can't I be that way??? Anyway...thanks Amanda. You are awesome
Oh goodness so much of what you've said throughout this video resonates with me as a fellow csection mumma. Thank you for your kind words and understanding. You've opened my mind to view my sons birth story very differently (and I needed that) xx
You bring up SO many great points! So much of what we read before we give birth says to "make a birth plan" and yet so much can/will/does happens outside any well laid "plan". I still struggle with feeling like something was done TO me versus 'it was done FOR me'. Thank you for including us in this conversation!
I love this video! I had a natural birth with my first baby and had to have a c-section with second baby because she was breached. And I have gone through all the emotions that you have talked about. It was definitely very traumatic emotionally. So glad you made this video so nice to know I'm not the only person that have felt like this xxx
I love your videos Amanda because you’re so mature, sensible and can have an intelligent conversation! It’s so important to discuss c-sections. I personally haven’t had one but my sister had 3. At times people say it’s not “giving birth” or done “properly” or “naturally.” It breaks my heart. It doesn’t matter one iota how each person is blessed with a child. 💗
In general I think that we all need to support and love one another. Especially as women, there are so many more things we can relate to each other about rather than trying to compete. We should all listen to each other more and be there for one another.
Finally got a chance to watch this video and I can relate so much 😢 my second son was born through an emergency c-section and it was traumatic & very hard to heal from for months both emotionally and physically! I talked about it as much as possible & that’s how I healed. I also wanted a natural birth like you and thought it would be because my first went how I thought it would. Thank you for making this video & for being so raw. So beautiful ❤️
Honestly I had 2 csections.... and I was happy never had guilt and I am glad for my babies and glad for my scar, and glad I tried to naturally give birth but ended up emergency because we all struggle just like you said. I am a proud csection mama !!!
So very well put. Especially the part about how we need to be supportive of each other, listening to every story because it is equally important. I will go back and listen to it another day again for more good stuff, though, because my silly brain got so distracted by the music in the background after a while that I could not concentrate on what you were saying. I'll try again when I am more well rested and can concentrate for a bit longer. :)
Thanks for speaking about this. I agree, one way of giving birth is not better/worse or harder/easier than any other. We all need to be nicer to one another and stop judging. Thanks for your message, I really enjoy your videos.
THANK GOODNESS FOR C SECTIONS! There are a lot of mamas and babies that wouldn't be alive today without them. I haven't had a c-section, but there is no judgment from me. However a mama gets her baby into the world is what is best.
I’m due with my second baby in a few weeks. Baby is currently breech, and I’m facing the possibility for a c section this time. I’m so fearful of the unknown of that. Because of the discovery of a spinal issue since having my daughter I know that I will be put under anesthesia to have the c section, which is something I think I’m probably the most scared of. No one in my immediate family/friend circle has ever had a c section, so I feel very overwhelmed without having someone to talk to about it. Thank you for your video. It’s reassuring to hear someone talk so openly about their experience 💕
Emily Troutman sending positive thoughts! I was a breech baby, Doctor fiddled with me and my mom prayed a lot and I ended up head down. Anything is possible! 💕 Also, very recently, my sister in law went into labour, got to the hospital and baby's feet were coming out first. They wanted to do an emergency c section, but never got the time to. Baby came out, everyone was fine, next day they were home! Chin up. Whatever birth you end up having, massive positive energy being sent your way!
I also just wanted to add, that I very nearly lost my life after delivering my first child (vaginally). A huge post partum haemorrhage came out of nowhere. 4 years later I have found peace and dealt with it. I had free counselling at our NHS hospital that really helped process the entire experience x
Teared up with you at the end there. My mom had 2 c sections for me and my sister and 30 years later she still gets emotional about it. Although I had 2 vaginal 'easy' births for my babies, i felt like my first was very painfull and traumatic and not at all how I wanted it to be/ expected it to be. But everytime I brought it up, I was made to feel like i was not entitled to talk about it that way. My second birthing experience was also a healing one for me with a midwife where my requests/concerns/ fears were heard, respected and valued. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Leah-Marie Plante same. I had a traumatic birth experience first time around, an induction birth and it feels like a no man's land, where it isn't a c section and it wasn't natural and I just don't know where I fit into.
Natural Vegan Mom I was also induced for my first and honestly I feel like the pain isn't comparable to natural labor and the whole experience is so different.
So well said! The last couple days I've had bad sciatic pain. The only other time I've had this pain was during both of my labours. The pain was so bad that I was throwing up and I couldn't even feel my contractions. This is giving all sorts of flashbacks (not in a good way). It's so true how your births affect you for the rest of your life. My births went as planned and my kids and I were super healthy, but I still find myself traumatized by the experience :(
I love love love this video! C section is a hard subject for me. This is going to be a long post so just get ready lol. When my husband and I decided to try and start a family we went into like anyone else thinking oh we will get pregnant this month...boy was I wrong lol. Finally 8 or 9 months later and being diagnosed with PCOS I got pregnant! Apart of me felt less than a woman bc I couldn’t get pregnant the “normal way” but I brushed it off thinking oh well I’m finally pregnant this is amazing! Then after 14 hrs of labor a c section it was. In that moment I didn’t to much think about it I just wanted this kid out so I could eat 😂.. That night all was well, we had just turned out the light to go to sleep and low and behold I started to hemorrhage. It took them about 3 hrs to get time stable and 3 pints of blood. The flowing weeks I suffered from pain, obviously and pp depression. I couldn’t seem to get the breast feeding thing down and I cried constantly. I loved my baby I just cried. It was all just very traumatizing. This may seem shallow or whatever but nobody explains to you what your stomach will look like afterwards and that was hard for me to see. So after the whole experience I thought well whose ready for round 2? So 3 and a half years later and a round of clomid I’m pregnant again! Still in the back of my head thinking why can’t I just get pregnant on my own?? We knew it’d be a c section this time bc we figured out my pelvis was to narrow for my large babies to come out of. (My first was 8lbs 15oz) So sure enough I hemorrhaged again. My baby was 10lbs 9oz and 22 in long this time 😳😳This time I didn’t even make it out of recovery before I started doing it. I was away from my baby for almost 6 hrs and that sucked. (With my first she ended up being away from me for about that long too.) Being away from your new baby is worse than any physical pain I think. So same thing with pp depression and feeling just bad about myself. I’ve seen things on the intranet kind of putting c section mamas down but let me tell you after having 2 c sections and 4 people pushing down on your stomach right after you being cut open with my both hands, at the same time trying to get your uterus to contract so you will stop bleeding has got to be the most painful experience ever. I finally just come to the conclusion you know my body did a lot of things wrong but it kept two beautiful baby girls alive and healthy and at the end that’s all that matters. They love me know matter how I birthed them. Do I wish I could experience a vaginal birth, heck yes!! Will I ever get to?? No and it’s okay. Childbirth is hard no matter what, you are bringing life into this world it’s suppose to be hard. Everything about being a mama is hard but women need to stick together and cheer each other on no matter how we have our babies, or how we choose to feed them, or what diapers we use, etc. We are all in this together and no one is any better than the next person. Oh and side note I can’t touch my scar either lol.. as far as what what my scar looks like it doesn’t bother me. I can’t seem to get over the stretch marks and saggy skin I’ve acquired lol. I was nervous about the way my husband would see me bc in my eyes my stomach looks gross. I know it was where my babies lived but still. My husband was and still is sooo sweet about it. I remember the first time we were able to get inmate after our first I wanted to leave my shirt on and he was like no I love your body now even more than before because you made me a dad. If your stomach still looked perfect we wouldn’t have our baby. He does a good job of reminding me every single day that he thinks I’m beautiful.
Aw, well said and look at all these positive comments! All births are a defining moment. “Be gentle to a new momma” totally agree! I did manage to have two home births, first was kinda traumatic and second was wonderful. Urg, body changes. My postpartum belly 😬
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 2nd C-section scheduled for May 31! 😬 My first one was traumatic, hoping this one is more of a peaceful environment since it is planned. Thank you for always sharing your emotions 😘
This is such an interesting topic for me, because I think, I personally, have had some pretty negative thoughts about c-sections. All before I even had kids. I very much thought (and truly, I had several woman tell me) "I just don't want to deal with the pain, so I'm going to have a c-section" and their babies were having some serious health complications because they were induced too early and resulted in c-sections. It was almost that birth was just too inconvenient for them and their baby could just do the extra work of healing because they didn't want to? And the moms that were the angriest about their c-sections were actually more angry at their doctors who induced them too early when their bodies weren't ready. They felt like their power was taken away to make their own decisions. Now, I've since had two home births. The first was a 28 hour labor with a sunny side up baby. Back labor, tearing, it was a HARD birth. Almost traumatic, because I too didn't know if I could have another baby and do that again. My second was at home also and was so healing. Now that I have kids, I see c-sections differently, even though I haven't had to have one. One truly isn't easier than the other. They both hurt. They can both scar. They both bring us our children that we are SO grateful for. I feel bad about the judgement I felt, though thankfully I don't think I ever said a word about. I did know some very flippant moms about it though, and I wonder if they were shocked to find out it wasn't just a quick and easy option for birth? Going from a baby inside to a baby outside is just HARD. We just need to support one another and shut up, like you said.
Thank you for being so honest. Humans judge, it’s our nature, but being willing to change and see a different perspective is incredible. I cannot imagine choosing a c-section as my main option 😯
Stefani West I too, before and after having children, have had women tell me they had a scheduled c-section and couldn’t wait because it was going to be so easy to not have to go through all the pain of vaginal birth 🙄. I remember being ignorant about all of it and believing that they were going to have the easier birth! Now that I know better, I can’t believe the things I’ve heard people say about having the “easier” way. I’ve had 2 vaginal births. One was wonderful, one was VERY traumatic. I also know mothers that have had horrible c-sections. Neither one is easy, that’s for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I kind of new that c-sections were risky and painful to recover from before kids, now after going through it, whenever I hear "I'm having a c-section because I don't want to feel pain while giving birth" I kind of roll my eyes a bit ... Which is also judgmental and wrong but you know ... None of my business to talk them out of it, never having experienced a vaginal birth before.
So many people do that, choose it as first option. Even my friend said (because she had c-section) "you know you can schedule if, so you still save yoir vagina" wtf.
Lovely video. I had a section with my twins. The experience was great, recovery from the actual operation was fine, but I had pre-eclampsia which escalated after birth which was not good. Having been to natural childbirth classes, I felt like I had let my babies down. I worried there wasn’t enough immediate skin to skin, they were at risk of infection as they hadn’t come out my birth canal. There have been horror stories linking c-sections with all sorts of issues in kids. I felt I had let the sisterhood down. I still don’t think, 7 years later, I have let go of the guilt. Mums permanently feel guilty!
Oh Amanda, I’m tearing up with you. Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on the topic. I have two children, my first was a completely drug free natural birth, it was a beautiful birth. My second ended up being a emergency c section in which I had to be put under for. I was not awake for his birth and in icu for days after his birth. I didn’t get to meet my son till he was 2 days old. Although it’s been 7 years now, I still struggle. I feel bad that I have no memory or his birth and with my first I can remember every detail. It’s hard but as you said, it didn’t happen to us it’s apart of us and our story. Wow, amazing video ❤️🇨🇦
My first 2 csections weren’t planned but I was fortunate to have an easy, fairly pain free recovery. I have a ridiculously high pain tolerance. I didn’t need pain meds after back surgery before I ever had babies. My third birth coming in Nov, we’ve opted for a csection. I’m hoping a spinal will work so I can be awake. That is my one regret is not hearing my boys first cries. I had to be sedated because the epidurals didn’t take likely because of the scar tissue from back surgery. Every birth is different and every story affects that woman differently. I agree, no one person’s experience minimizes another person’s experience or pain. We all process our experiences in our own way and that’s ok. My feelings about my births are valid, yours are valid, the woman who gets torn up during a vaginal birth are valid, the one who only pushed 3 times and didn’t tear are valid. We should be able to share our stories without someone having to say “well, my birth...”
What a lovely video Amanda, I cried with you. My first c-section was Traumatic, and it took me a long time to see it as something beautiful. Thankfully my second was so much better, peaceful even. I totally agree, we should all be kind and respectful to new moms and even seasoned mommas. We’re all just trying to do the best we can. What your husband said about your scar made me CRY! Gah I have so much think about and share on this subject. Maybe time for me to dust off ye olde camera and make a video. Sending you hugs from now Sunny Minnesota!
I have never had a c section but am so upset at the fact that people would even have anything negative today about it. i always felt the they were very serious and often had sympathy for the mothers of an unplanned c section cause they felt like failures in childbirth. I can defiantly to the part you said to tell a person i hear you, its ok, tell me more. acknowledge what happen cause i had a loss last year and people exclude me from delivery stories cause i don't have the child i delivered. my water broke, i felt contractions, i felt her come out of me, i help her, i loved her and i named her. I felt the pain of recovering from delivery i felt my breast engorged. i have an experience to share but it doest count. Thank you for this video.
Thank you so much for posting this video, Amanda. I am also an expat in Guatemala far from my family and a first time mom. My baby girl Mila was born via unplanned C-section just over four months ago, and it has been so difficult to process. I feel as if her birth happened to me instead of because of me which makes me sad and I know it impacted my ability to connect with her in the first few weeks of her life. Can you share what specific things you have done to find healing? I would love some ideas. I do feel as though my confidence as a mother is growing which is helping me heal and accept that this was my journey, but I would love more tips as to how to accept this and even perhaps one day be proud of it.
Thanks Amanda, I cried the whole video, I’m so with you 😘. Same as you I had 2 c- sections , my first nearly 6 years ago with my daughter was emergency one with fully anesthetic( water birth with no drugs- was my plan) and long waking up-so traumatic ,and second 10 months ago with my son I was advised to go for c-section because this could have happened again, second time much better healing 😘😘😘love your videos
My experience is much like yours... it was a traumatic emergency csection after failed induction...that was in 2015 and since then I've been scared to have another baby. I feel like I'd have an elective one for my next...i get stressed when people tell me I MUST try for a Vbac. I feel bad though that having a csection will determine how frequent i can have kids and perhaps...how many i can have. I need to do a video like this on my channel if April is an awareness month
Thank you for sharing. You should definitely make a video ☺️💗
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Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, your story and your tears with us. With my first son I was planning to have a un-meddicated birth, and I ended up having a c-section, for which I was zero prepared emotionally. Now I'm pregnant with our second baby and I have mixed feelings about childbirth... I would still want to have a natural un-medicated birth... But what if I have another c-section? The thing is, I guess, I'm still afraid of the experience, I'm still afraid of what can happen, and I am on my path to learn to overcome that fear and deal with it. Your story and emotions on this video helped me accept my story a little bit more, and feel that I'm not alone. Thank you for that.
My birth was quick and easy. My pregnancy with my second was horribly traumatic. It was one thing after another, possible downs, VCI, vasa previa and most of my pregnancy I felt like my body couldn't do the one thing it was designed to do. I didn't end up with any of those but it did turn out I had a bi-lobed placenta which they didn't know till I gave birth. I think the more we empower other moms the more we grow ourselves. We raise better humans when we do it together ❤ plus I love all birth stories
On acknowledging the scar: at 3 or 4 days postpartum a midwife came into my room for a regular check up and said "Oh, your scar is beautiful, would you like to see it", I almost cried, saying no, I hated that thing, it was forever there to remind me that I had failed on the first step of becoming a mother. And this lovely midwife, bless her soul, knowing that VBACs are basically non-existent here, said "Your scar is yours to keep, it's now and forever your way to bring life into this world, you should never be ashamed of it, no-one can take your birth or your baby away from you now." and then added "Plus, you would actually be able to show your child exactly where YOUR babies come from, mamas with vaginal births - probably not so much :D"
I loved my c-sections lol however I had a very traumatic natural delivery with my first. So when I went on to have my second baby I asked for a c-section. As well with my third. BUT I can see where it can be very traumatic for women. ❤️❤️
I am so so sorry to take over the comment section but I would love if Dean could share his side of the experiencing the c-sections, what were his fears and concerns and to what extend did have an opinion on how you should deliver. I cringe when I hear future dads go "My wife is not having a c-section and that's that" - and not realizing that sometimes even the moms don't have a choice. I lucked out and have a super supportive partner, that didn't complain one bit when helping through recovery, not to mention he did not care how we "split into two", as long as we were both healthy.
I am also a C-section mama April 25th 2024😢 i had wished for a normal first time birth but i ended up going for an emergency C-section.. i wasn't happy.. i literally cried. A lot of things came into my mind...my body is going to change...will i survive this. Oh the healing process is painful and long am still not healed to this day. For the fact that i wasnt ready for it i wasnt happy but i had to be okay with it and i told myself that C-section was my normal delivery.
Belly birth mama here! Thank you for making such a wonderful video. I too had planned a natural home water birth and ended up having a mandatory caesarean do to breech babe with potential special needs. I have to say it was a beautiful wonderful experience. Got to do delayed chord clamping, I had them drop the drape, and I got to have my baby girl on my breast while I was being stitched. I was only separated from her for about 5 mins while being taken to recovery. However I do still find myself struggling to say I birthed my baby.... when I know I should say “ heck ya I did! She just came out a different hole”. Anyway thanks again for making this video 💕
Ive had 5 girls naturally and never had a tear or been cut and now Im 33 weeks and 5 days with my last baby which is my only boy and hes breech and they said if he doesn't turn they are gonna schedule my c section. Im terrified. I dont want to go through surgery. I dont care about the scar or what other people say. My concerns are me being scared of being cut open. Also I want my baby as soon as hes born. I have all these other kids to take care of also. How bad is the pain after the spinal wears off? How hard is recovery? How soon can you breastfeed after?
Thank you for this video. My mom had a c-section for me and she used to tell me that every year on my birthday her scare would get super itchy! I thought it was funny and it made me feel special in a way. Have you experience anything like that?
Love how you put this ❤️ can’t believe you would get negative comments on that post! I’m the same, planning all natural, unmediated births, and can imagine the heartache and disappointment if things don’t go as planned 😞
The position of your scars sound just like mine! My first was perfect because she was breech and high up. My seconds head was diagonal into my hip so that scar is crooked because of her head.
I had a friend post something angry about csection awareness month, because she had a natural birth. And I think it's just not fair to be angry about an experience that you didn't have. My csection was extremely traumatic. I planned on all natural calm birth, and it all changed. My daughter came early, and she wasn't supposed to live, and I didn't even know if she was alive after they took her out. Not to mention the pain, physically, I had afterwards. The whole thing was awful. I think that's the point of the awareness month. The majority of csections are traumatic births, in one way or another. It's unfortunate that there is always some shaming.
It took a long to come to terms with how my labour and birth turned out. I kept going between saying I should have been more adamant about trying to keep going with the birth and recognising times within my labour where the midwife's actions had affected the eventual outcome. I was induced a few days early and was given a pitocin drip. The first midwife was barely in the room to watch me have a full contraction but was in control of how much pitocin to give so she kept upping it. At one point my contractions didn't really have a beginning or an end and then the back pain began. I believe my baby rotated to posterior at that point. Fast forward many hours the ob came to check on me. My body had been trying to push for a while but I wasn't allowed to until the Ob came. A quick check showed I was only 7cm dilated and confirmed bub was posterior. At this point the gas was doing nothing and they recommended an emergency c section because it would be safer to do it then (it was around 8pm by this time) rather than in the middle of the night (My ob was up at 6am to come induce me at the hospital) I took the c section knowing I would soon not have to feel the contractions anymore. Bub was healthy and we had skin to skin contact and breastfeeding straight away but the actual labour is a bitter sweet memory
I shouldn’t have put my make up on before watching this video. You’re both experiences are very similar to mine and I am also not a fan of touching or having anyone else touch my scar. I’m hoping that I can be as confident and content as you are one day.
I would like to share my story it's different .. I had my baby early my blood pressure went high and the doctor said I can't let you leave the hospital with him in your belly no one was there with me .. I was beating my self up how my body fail him he was so small it's scary .. when people come to visit they will be like poor thing he is so tiny you shouldn't have listen to that doctor or why u were so stressed that you made your blood pressure high .. it hurts .. being a mom is hard enough no need for shaming one another ..
I have had a c section and the fear of going through the pain again is stoping me from thinking about the second one. My husband want's another baby and i do too... but i m too scared...
Alice Sava I had a giant cry after this video because that what hurts my heart the most - that I might not have my Jack had I let the fear win. I definitely understand your feelings 💗
Childbirth is hard. Being a momma is hard. It’s so important to support each other. I was able to have a vaginal birth, but I had an awful experience & I wasn’t able to see my baby for his first 24 hours. AWFUL.
Kelsea Tackett I’m so sorry for you! I had my 4th recently and couldn’t hold him for the first maybe half hr and after 3 births of holding h8: immediately after it made a big difference to me bonding with him (I felt like I loved him madly a week or so in, but it still wasn’t the same as the immediate holding and loving experience I had 3 times earlier). I really pray that more hospitals make holding the baby an urgent need if st all possible. I hope your little guy or girl is ok xxxx
Sarah W I was able to hold him for about 30 min before they took him to the nicu. I am grateful for that. I had preeclampsia and because of the medications I was on, they didn’t let me out of bed for 24 hours. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and praying for a much better experience. Thankfully, my little guy is a perfectly healthy almost 2 year old.
I gave it a good thought over the past few days and I must say I really do not understand why the Csection mothers feel the need to explain themselves to anyone. Why do they feel a need to be recognized as mothers by other mothers. I mean I am very sorry but this sounds a bit crazy to me. Maybe my own personal story put things in ‘a down to Earth’ perspective but I really feel this blown out of any logical proportion.
I had 3 csections.one to give birth to my baby girl who had died 24 hrs earlier. I really could't give a ... about who feels it is an easier or more difficult way to give birth. I couldn't really care about who wants to listen to how I gave birth either. Maybe my priorities have changed. Maybe it's just me.
Ive had 5 babies and no csections. One of my biggest pet peeves in the mother community is anyone knocking a csection Mom. That's a SERIOUS surgery. Or the other c-section moms who throw in their "well I was on my feet x days later, she's just being lazy." or some equivalent to that. That's a MAJOR surgery. That's a BIG big big big deal. I'm grateful for the circumstances that allowed me to not be a c-section mom. And I have MAD respect for mothers who bring their babies into the world that way. And, I agree with you. Birth shapes you and your birth experience and how you perceive it really impacts who you are to your core.
I cannot imagine putting another mother down for their birth experience. At the end of the day, we are all doing the best we can for our babies and that’s the only thing that should matter.
Agreed.
If I could love this video I would. Although I did not have a c section to deliver my kids, I have friends who have. I respect the hell out of any mom no matter what path it takes to get her there. All mommas have some part of their birth stories that didn't go completely according to plan. It's how we heal and deal that help shape us.
It’s so so true.
@@AmandaMusewhat a great story on your childbearing experience I love watching stories on these topics I’m not a woman I can’t imagine as a guy going through labor and delivery but it’s not to late to learn about it
I’ve had a natural birth and a c-section. I have good and bad memories from both experiences. I have been lucky that no one has ever been judgmental about my birthing experiences. I’m just trying to navigate parenthood so I can’t imagine how some parents feel when people are rude or mean to them about how they gave birth or how they feel about the birth. Ultimately your feelings are yours.
My first section came after pre eclampsia and failed induction. I felt like everything was being done to me, and now looking back it completely shaped my first ever post partum experience. I just had my second 5 months ago, after 7 days of labour with no progression and I couldn’t take it anymore ! That section was AMAZING . My son was born into his first ever birthday party! Hubby there, sister as a nurse... ahh just grinning ear to ear thinking about it. Baby given to me right away, BF in post op. Ah. That experiences makes me want to do it again t was that good. 💙💙💙 completely healed me from my first ! I hope everyone gets that!
YES - the best thing is to let a new mama share her story. Not a c-section, but a traumatic birth 5 years ago and that's why #2 isn't here yet. I'm still working through the emotions. The worst part was the NICU separation so when you shared about your separation from Esmé, my heart was in my throat, because it's still so raw.
Oh boy, did I need this to wake up to!! 💕My first birth was an induction, which feels isolating...it wasn't a c section and so I don't feel like it was as painful or hard to recover from and it wasn't natural, so I don't feel part of the "club." I wanted a natural birthing experience, but then life happened. I was induced at 39 weeks, due to the early on sets of preeclampsia. Nearly two days later, barely 2 cm dilated, strapped to monitors, not being able to bathe or eat properly, being constantly watched by a nurse, sleeping on a tiny hospital bed and experiencing massive back pains, I wound up asking for an epidural. I feel like I failed. Like I chickened out or have to justify why I chose to take pain relief. After I had the epidural, literally within hours, I was fully dilated and pushing took all but 30 min. But I don't feel like I did anything, since I couldn't feel the contractions or pushing and was simply doing as the doctor told me to. Following the birth I had massive bleeding, baby was taken away, doctors unceremoniously tried to remove the blood clots bare handed from my uterus, by then the epidural had worn off, eventually I went down to the operating room. 😱It's a lot like you mentioned, everyone was ok in the end, but that journey has left its scars. 😕My body fell apart in post partum. This time around, second pregnancy, am actually planning a home birth, no signs of preeclampsia and am completely scared shitless! 🙈 I feel like this is my first birthing experience, since first time around I was numb. My sister in law recently gave birth, feet first, oh natural and I asked her what natural birth is like (this is her second baby and natural birth) and she just told me that you have to be prepared. If mentally you aren't there than physically it won't happen and I know because first time around, in a hospital setting, my body clammed up completely, baby hadn't dropped, no one was ready. She asked me when I'd taken the epidural first time around, I think I was 2-3 cm and she just made this awful face, like, "you're not gonna make it to 10." Just made me feel like shit. 😓 I have low self esteem and anxiety and clam up under pressure. I wanted my mom at the home birth, to take care of my daughter and simply be there, but things haven't worked out that way; she's still making mean and rude comments to me. So I've been left to ask my neighbour to assist, thank fuck she offered/accepted! But there are certain days where she's unavailable and so now we're looking to my mother in law as a back up plan; insane history and baggage there. And so I'm really nervous about who's going to be at the birth. It feels like I'm not really deciding and that's hard for me to deal with. First time around it was me and my husband and that's what I wanted again, plus our daughter, but another adult has to be there to care for her, plus we have animals to look after. Anywho, long story. 😅 But yeah totally get you! 💕
My first was an emergency c-sec, my second a forceps and my third was a water birth. Each was beautiful..Each was needed..Each brought me my beautiful baby safely. I am so grateful to live at a time when we can benefit from modern medicine. Life saving stuff. Thanks for being so real.
I love your comment about how a woman is made to feel during childbirth will impact her for a very long time. I had a hard time with pushing with my son and I feel like I always have to apologize for that. Now I’m pregnant with my second and I have performance anxiety like I’m going to “fail” again. Which I realize is so ridiculous! But the feeling is there and 100% made me fearful to become a mother again
I had a scheduled c section with my first. Fast forward 7.5 years later, while my doctor was supportive of a VBAC, i chose to have a second c section. I went with what I knew. I’m done having babies and I’ve never had a contraction. In the end I have 2 perfect kids, i wouldn’t have cared if they came out of my nose.
Thank you so much for making this video & sharing your story. I went through counselling for ptsd from birth trauma and had an emergency c section and so much of what you said really resonated. Amazing how many c section mamas I’ve now met who have had similar experiences, I wouldn’t even say “I gave birth” for literally months after I had my son and I know others who felt the same! Like everyone, we just need a little love so thank you, again, for doing just that through this video.
I can't thank you enough for this video. You have provided some sense of validation for the trauma I felt through my c-section experience. It was 5 years ago for me and still trying to get past the feelings of inadequacy, sadness etc etc. I have felt so alone in this as I am surrounded by women who have birthed well and can't understand. I haven't been able to reach that place where I felt I could handle another birth and now realizing at 43 that having a second won't happen and experiencing grief around that. Like you I still get emotional and cried with you as you shed tears. Your video helped today! As for my scar what has helped me is thinking about it as visual proof or mark of my privilege of having my daughter and the deep love I hold for her.
OH MY GOD it was like this video turned up at exactly the right time. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with my second child and after having a very traumatic first birth where my choice to have a water birth was also taken away from me due to serious medical issues that arose during the last few weeks, I have made the decision to have a planned cesarean this time around. I like you still get emotional talking about the first birth - but very unexpectedly. It wasn't until I started talking to the Dr's about my options and choices this time around that all of the emotion that I had never dealt with came rushing back, ultimately making the decision for me. I'm a very proud cesarean mumma because without it I would've died, and so would my lovely daughter. I think we need to talk about our experiences in birth with far more honesty and openness in order to help each other be okay with alternative experiences to what we thought we wanted, what we thought we could do, and what we thought was the "best" way to become a mother. Love Love Loved this video and really appreciate you sharing your story (ies).
I'm crying with you. My c-section was 3 1/2 years ago and I still struggle with all of the emotions related to it. Thank you for articulating what I've been feeling for years. I appreciate your honestly and openness so much. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this, Amanda!! While I have not had a c-section and therefore can't (or won't pretend to) know what that's like, I have had 2 disappointing/traumatic births. I am still trying to get past the heart ache and emotions of my second one in particular, 2 years later. So I can understand your feelings in that aspect. Mommas are amazing, however we get there!! My hat goes off to any c-section momma, though, as I know that is no joke!! ❤️
Thank you so much for this! My first birth was a difficult experience for me and I've found it hard to explain my feelings to others. So important to support every mama in their own journey!
Thank you for that video 🙏🏻
I wanted a „natural“ birth so badly, but in the end he couldn’t come out, so c-section saved my baby.
I can relate so much 😢.
When you have to cry in the video it makes me so emotional and relate so much. You are wonderful.
So well said 😽
Sending you love from Germany!
Marie
This was beautiful! I never had a c-section so I can’t fathom how you truly feel. But with my daughter, the doctor said he was concerned and it might end up as a c-section and without even having the time to process it, I was already crying. The thought scared me so much that the words being spoken into reality made me start crying uncontrollably. I feel you and I am so glad you’re moving through this and talking about it.
You had me crying with you. I never realized how intense C-sections were until I seen people in my personal life have to have them. I have a whole new level of respect for csection mamas, because the recovery is no joke and emotional healing.Thank you for sharing your story. 🖤🖤
Thank you for sharing your story. I had two super scary c-sections (seriously, I still can't talk about them for fear of scaring other people) and it took a long time to recover emotionally. I actually really love my scar! My love for my children is permanently carved into my body. Every day I am thankful for it. Love your videos, Amanda! You always pick such interesting and important topics.
Thank you for sharing 💗
Amanda!!! I’ve been watching you and following you for quite some time now. One of very first videos that moved me was your birth story of Esme. I cried watching it because your story was so similar to my own and I almost felt like you were telling my story and understood how I felt. you are such a gifted, amazing story teller who knows how to touch people’s heart. ❤️
C-Section mama here. It was medically necessary, so the c section was planned. I read blogs and watched youtubers talking about their experience as I was terrified going into it. I mean, everyone from parents to the nurse in prenatal classes tell you all about vaginal birth. But c section was only mentioned in passing. Most people talked about how fast they healed. 1 week and they were ok moving around. 2 weeks to feel like regular routine. So it was SUCH a shock when I went through mine and, a month into it, I was still not myself. No one has personally judged me for having a c section, but just reading the harsh comments online makes you feel like crap. Then you have those saying how c section is the easy way out, the ignorance of which infuriates me. Then you have all the people who share their beautiful vaginal birth experiences and their perfect breastfeeding from moment one. There's just so much pressure on all of us mommies to have this blissful smooth birth experience that we beat ourselves up when it doesn't happen that way. I just want every pregnant mama out there to take the pressure off. Let life roll out the way it's supposed to be. A mama is a mama no matter how she got there. Stop the judging. 😊
All of this, YES 👏🏻💗🙌🏻
Thank you so so much sharing your story and being vulnerable. I just had my second c section 5 months ago and whenever I am asked about my birth experience I am overwhelmed with sadness, anger, and grief over it not being the all natural amazing experience I dreamed of. I have two absolutely amazing children now, and most likely there won´t be another due to massive scarring and my boyfriend not wanting any more. So, another huge thing to grieve. It was helpful when you said, "it is part of your story". Hopefully I will be able to heal and give myself the grace I need...
It takes more time than I expected to get to that healed place, I hear you.
Someone is cutting onions, a whole lot of onions.. All the onions in the world. Jokes apart this is such an eloquent way of telling your story. This was beautiful!
Those tears snuck up on me, geez 😅💗
Thank you for this video, it gives me goosebumps remembering my experience: like you I had two c-sections, the first one was horrible and the second one was a healing experience...
Respect for every mama and her story ❤️❤️❤️
What a fantastic topic to cover. Thank you. Ive just had a baby 2 weeks ago our 2nd. I was able to have a natural birth but it doesnt matter how you bring your baby into the world (c- section or natural birth) as long as they arrive safely and Mums ok. We're all Mums together and should respect other ladies stories 😊 Thats help lift each other up not pull each other down x
The end, you got me all teary, and yes be kind!
Exactly, everyone has their own story and even though I’m not a C-section mom, I’ve have respect for those Mamas!
Well said about the negativity, I’ve been seeing way too much of it lately... and not focus on that too much, end of story.
I’m so glad you shared your story!
Such a wonderful video Amanda. You know my story, for the most part. I obviously had that VBAC with my third, but it ended up being a very traumatic experience. I do have that regret about not deciding on second c-section. I remember when Colette was a week old, we were all sitting down for dinner as a family and talked about my experience with my older girls and I started crying and couldn't stop. I hadn't cried or been upset (even during the traumatic birth) until that point and it all came out at once. My daughters were looking confused and wondering why I was crying. My husband explained to them what a tough time we had and that mommy was sad because it was very scary. I think it was good for them to see that. It's okay to be sad or disappointed in the way things turn out. We are all human and just because someone else may be going through something worse, doesn't mean our feelings aren't valid. Births are just one of many things that we hold to such a high standard. I don't know if it's the internet, or just in us to try to be "perfect" in everything we do...but it's exhausting. The pressure we put on ourselves it ridiculous. Most men don't compare themselves to others - at least my husband doesn't. And his life is so simple. Why can't I be that way??? Anyway...thanks Amanda. You are awesome
Oh goodness so much of what you've said throughout this video resonates with me as a fellow csection mumma. Thank you for your kind words and understanding. You've opened my mind to view my sons birth story very differently (and I needed that) xx
You bring up SO many great points! So much of what we read before we give birth says to "make a birth plan" and yet so much can/will/does happens outside any well laid "plan". I still struggle with feeling like something was done TO me versus 'it was done FOR me'. Thank you for including us in this conversation!
I love this video! I had a natural birth with my first baby and had to have a c-section with second baby because she was breached. And I have gone through all the emotions that you have talked about. It was definitely very traumatic emotionally. So glad you made this video so nice to know I'm not the only person that have felt like this xxx
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Loved this video...everything you said was so on point. Thanks so much for sharing your story with us Amanda.
I love your videos Amanda because you’re so mature, sensible and can have an intelligent conversation! It’s so important to discuss c-sections. I personally haven’t had one but my sister had 3. At times people say it’s not “giving birth” or done “properly” or “naturally.” It breaks my heart. It doesn’t matter one iota how each person is blessed with a child. 💗
Yes 🙌🏻
In general I think that we all need to support and love one another. Especially as women, there are so many more things we can relate to each other about rather than trying to compete. We should all listen to each other more and be there for one another.
Finally got a chance to watch this video and I can relate so much 😢 my second son was born through an emergency c-section and it was traumatic & very hard to heal from for months both emotionally and physically! I talked about it as much as possible & that’s how I healed. I also wanted a natural birth like you and thought it would be because my first went how I thought it would. Thank you for making this video & for being so raw. So beautiful ❤️
Honestly I had 2 csections.... and I was happy never had guilt and I am glad for my babies and glad for my scar, and glad I tried to naturally give birth but ended up emergency because we all struggle just like you said. I am a proud csection mama !!!
So very well put. Especially the part about how we need to be supportive of each other, listening to every story because it is equally important.
I will go back and listen to it another day again for more good stuff, though, because my silly brain got so distracted by the music in the background after a while that I could not concentrate on what you were saying. I'll try again when I am more well rested and can concentrate for a bit longer. :)
Thanks for speaking about this. I agree, one way of giving birth is not better/worse or harder/easier than any other. We all need to be nicer to one another and stop judging. Thanks for your message, I really enjoy your videos.
Sara Peterson thank you so much 💗
THANK GOODNESS FOR C SECTIONS! There are a lot of mamas and babies that wouldn't be alive today without them. I haven't had a c-section, but there is no judgment from me. However a mama gets her baby into the world is what is best.
I’m due with my second baby in a few weeks. Baby is currently breech, and I’m facing the possibility for a c section this time. I’m so fearful of the unknown of that. Because of the discovery of a spinal issue since having my daughter I know that I will be put under anesthesia to have the c section, which is something I think I’m probably the most scared of. No one in my immediate family/friend circle has ever had a c section, so I feel very overwhelmed without having someone to talk to about it. Thank you for your video. It’s reassuring to hear someone talk so openly about their experience 💕
I’m sending so much positivity your way; wishing you a smooth delivery. You’ve got this 💗
Emily Troutman sending positive thoughts! I was a breech baby, Doctor fiddled with me and my mom prayed a lot and I ended up head down. Anything is possible! 💕 Also, very recently, my sister in law went into labour, got to the hospital and baby's feet were coming out first. They wanted to do an emergency c section, but never got the time to. Baby came out, everyone was fine, next day they were home! Chin up. Whatever birth you end up having, massive positive energy being sent your way!
I also just wanted to add, that I very nearly lost my life after delivering my first child (vaginally). A huge post partum haemorrhage came out of nowhere. 4 years later I have found peace and dealt with it. I had free counselling at our NHS hospital that really helped process the entire experience x
Oh wow, that must have been so scary. Thank goodness for counselling and I’m so happy you are here to tell your story.
Thank you so much for making this video! I’m a c-section mama and I so understand everything you said!
Teared up with you at the end there. My mom had 2 c sections for me and my sister and 30 years later she still gets emotional about it. Although I had 2 vaginal 'easy' births for my babies, i felt like my first was very painfull and traumatic and not at all how I wanted it to be/ expected it to be. But everytime I brought it up, I was made to feel like i was not entitled to talk about it that way. My second birthing experience was also a healing one for me with a midwife where my requests/concerns/ fears were heard, respected and valued. Thank you for sharing your experience!
It’s amazing how sometimes all we need is sometime to listen and validate our feelings. I’m so glad you had a healing 2nd birth 💗
Leah-Marie Plante same. I had a traumatic birth experience first time around, an induction birth and it feels like a no man's land, where it isn't a c section and it wasn't natural and I just don't know where I fit into.
Natural Vegan Mom I was also induced for my first and honestly I feel like the pain isn't comparable to natural labor and the whole experience is so different.
Leah-Marie Plante yes. For me the after birth pains and recovery were not pleasant at all. Once the epidural wore off, all the hurt hit at once.
I love how real you are. Thank you for sharing your story.
So well said! The last couple days I've had bad sciatic pain. The only other time I've had this pain was during both of my labours. The pain was so bad that I was throwing up and I couldn't even feel my contractions. This is giving all sorts of flashbacks (not in a good way). It's so true how your births affect you for the rest of your life. My births went as planned and my kids and I were super healthy, but I still find myself traumatized by the experience :(
I love love love this video! C section is a hard subject for me. This is going to be a long post so just get ready lol. When my husband and I decided to try and start a family we went into like anyone else thinking oh we will get pregnant this month...boy was I wrong lol. Finally 8 or 9 months later and being diagnosed with PCOS I got pregnant! Apart of me felt less than a woman bc I couldn’t get pregnant the “normal way” but I brushed it off thinking oh well I’m finally pregnant this is amazing! Then after 14 hrs of labor a c section it was. In that moment I didn’t to much think about it I just wanted this kid out so I could eat 😂.. That night all was well, we had just turned out the light to go to sleep and low and behold I started to hemorrhage. It took them about 3 hrs to get time stable and 3 pints of blood. The flowing weeks I suffered from pain, obviously and pp depression. I couldn’t seem to get the breast feeding thing down and I cried constantly. I loved my baby I just cried. It was all just very traumatizing. This may seem shallow or whatever but nobody explains to you what your stomach will look like afterwards and that was hard for me to see. So after the whole experience I thought well whose ready for round 2? So 3 and a half years later and a round of clomid I’m pregnant again! Still in the back of my head thinking why can’t I just get pregnant on my own?? We knew it’d be a c section this time bc we figured out my pelvis was to narrow for my large babies to come out of. (My first was 8lbs 15oz) So sure enough I hemorrhaged again. My baby was 10lbs 9oz and 22 in long this time 😳😳This time I didn’t even make it out of recovery before I started doing it. I was away from my baby for almost 6 hrs and that sucked. (With my first she ended up being away from me for about that long too.) Being away from your new baby is worse than any physical pain I think. So same thing with pp depression and feeling just bad about myself. I’ve seen things on the intranet kind of putting c section mamas down but let me tell you after having 2 c sections and 4 people pushing down on your stomach right after you being cut open with my both hands, at the same time trying to get your uterus to contract so you will stop bleeding has got to be the most painful experience ever. I finally just come to the conclusion you know my body did a lot of things wrong but it kept two beautiful baby girls alive and healthy and at the end that’s all that matters. They love me know matter how I birthed them. Do I wish I could experience a vaginal birth, heck yes!! Will I ever get to?? No and it’s okay. Childbirth is hard no matter what, you are bringing life into this world it’s suppose to be hard. Everything about being a mama is hard but women need to stick together and cheer each other on no matter how we have our babies, or how we choose to feed them, or what diapers we use, etc. We are all in this together and no one is any better than the next person.
Oh and side note I can’t touch my scar either lol.. as far as what what my scar looks like it doesn’t bother me. I can’t seem to get over the stretch marks and saggy skin I’ve acquired lol. I was nervous about the way my husband would see me bc in my eyes my stomach looks gross. I know it was where my babies lived but still. My husband was and still is sooo sweet about it. I remember the first time we were able to get inmate after our first I wanted to leave my shirt on and he was like no I love your body now even more than before because you made me a dad. If your stomach still looked perfect we wouldn’t have our baby. He does a good job of reminding me every single day that he thinks I’m beautiful.
Aw, well said and look at all these positive comments! All births are a defining moment. “Be gentle to a new momma” totally agree! I did manage to have two home births, first was kinda traumatic and second was wonderful. Urg, body changes. My postpartum belly 😬
Loved this so much!
Raw, emotional and real 💖
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 2nd C-section scheduled for May 31! 😬 My first one was traumatic, hoping this one is more of a peaceful environment since it is planned. Thank you for always sharing your emotions 😘
This is such an interesting topic for me, because I think, I personally, have had some pretty negative thoughts about c-sections. All before I even had kids. I very much thought (and truly, I had several woman tell me) "I just don't want to deal with the pain, so I'm going to have a c-section" and their babies were having some serious health complications because they were induced too early and resulted in c-sections. It was almost that birth was just too inconvenient for them and their baby could just do the extra work of healing because they didn't want to?
And the moms that were the angriest about their c-sections were actually more angry at their doctors who induced them too early when their bodies weren't ready. They felt like their power was taken away to make their own decisions.
Now, I've since had two home births. The first was a 28 hour labor with a sunny side up baby. Back labor, tearing, it was a HARD birth. Almost traumatic, because I too didn't know if I could have another baby and do that again. My second was at home also and was so healing.
Now that I have kids, I see c-sections differently, even though I haven't had to have one. One truly isn't easier than the other. They both hurt. They can both scar. They both bring us our children that we are SO grateful for. I feel bad about the judgement I felt, though thankfully I don't think I ever said a word about. I did know some very flippant moms about it though, and I wonder if they were shocked to find out it wasn't just a quick and easy option for birth?
Going from a baby inside to a baby outside is just HARD. We just need to support one another and shut up, like you said.
Thank you for being so honest. Humans judge, it’s our nature, but being willing to change and see a different perspective is incredible. I cannot imagine choosing a c-section as my main option 😯
Stefani West I too, before and after having children, have had women tell me they had a scheduled c-section and couldn’t wait because it was going to be so easy to not have to go through all the pain of vaginal birth 🙄. I remember being ignorant about all of it and believing that they were going to have the easier birth! Now that I know better, I can’t believe the things I’ve heard people say about having the “easier” way. I’ve had 2 vaginal births. One was wonderful, one was VERY traumatic. I also know mothers that have had horrible c-sections. Neither one is easy, that’s for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I kind of new that c-sections were risky and painful to recover from before kids, now after going through it, whenever I hear "I'm having a c-section because I don't want to feel pain while giving birth" I kind of roll my eyes a bit ... Which is also judgmental and wrong but you know ... None of my business to talk them out of it, never having experienced a vaginal birth before.
So many people do that, choose it as first option. Even my friend said (because she had c-section) "you know you can schedule if, so you still save yoir vagina" wtf.
Lovely video. I had a section with my twins. The experience was great, recovery from the actual operation was fine, but I had pre-eclampsia which escalated after birth which was not good. Having been to natural childbirth classes, I felt like I had let my babies down. I worried there wasn’t enough immediate skin to skin, they were at risk of infection as they hadn’t come out my birth canal. There have been horror stories linking c-sections with all sorts of issues in kids. I felt I had let the sisterhood down. I still don’t think, 7 years later, I have let go of the guilt. Mums permanently feel guilty!
I am so grateful for this video. You really have a way with words. Thank you.
TheTest24 💗💗💗
Always so well said and well spoken.
Oh Amanda, I’m tearing up with you. Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on the topic. I have two children, my first was a completely drug free natural birth, it was a beautiful birth. My second ended up being a emergency c section in which I had to be put under for. I was not awake for his birth and in icu for days after his birth. I didn’t get to meet my son till he was 2 days old. Although it’s been 7 years now, I still struggle. I feel bad that I have no memory or his birth and with my first I can remember every detail. It’s hard but as you said, it didn’t happen to us it’s apart of us and our story. Wow, amazing video ❤️🇨🇦
Wow, thank you for sharing 💗 It takes some work, but we can heal from it.
Crying right there with ya! Wow. Thank you thank you, thank you🙏
My first 2 csections weren’t planned but I was fortunate to have an easy, fairly pain free recovery. I have a ridiculously high pain tolerance. I didn’t need pain meds after back surgery before I ever had babies. My third birth coming in Nov, we’ve opted for a csection. I’m hoping a spinal will work so I can be awake. That is my one regret is not hearing my boys first cries. I had to be sedated because the epidurals didn’t take likely because of the scar tissue from back surgery.
Every birth is different and every story affects that woman differently. I agree, no one person’s experience minimizes another person’s experience or pain. We all process our experiences in our own way and that’s ok. My feelings about my births are valid, yours are valid, the woman who gets torn up during a vaginal birth are valid, the one who only pushed 3 times and didn’t tear are valid. We should be able to share our stories without someone having to say “well, my birth...”
Yes, yes, yes! 👏🏻
What a lovely video Amanda, I cried with you. My first c-section was Traumatic, and it took me a long time to see it as something beautiful. Thankfully my second was so much better, peaceful even. I totally agree, we should all be kind and respectful to new moms and even seasoned mommas. We’re all just trying to do the best we can. What your husband said about your scar made me CRY! Gah I have so much think about and share on this subject. Maybe time for me to dust off ye olde camera and make a video. Sending you hugs from now Sunny Minnesota!
Yes! Do it!
I have never had a c section but am so upset at the fact that people would even have anything negative today about it. i always felt the they were very serious and often had sympathy for the mothers of an unplanned c section cause they felt like failures in childbirth. I can defiantly to the part you said to tell a person i hear you, its ok, tell me more. acknowledge what happen cause i had a loss last year and people exclude me from delivery stories cause i don't have the child i delivered. my water broke, i felt contractions, i felt her come out of me, i help her, i loved her and i named her. I felt the pain of recovering from delivery i felt my breast engorged. i have an experience to share but it doest count. Thank you for this video.
It counts. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing 💗
Thank you for sharing! 💖
Thank you so much for posting this video, Amanda. I am also an expat in Guatemala far from my family and a first time mom. My baby girl Mila was born via unplanned C-section just over four months ago, and it has been so difficult to process. I feel as if her birth happened to me instead of because of me which makes me sad and I know it impacted my ability to connect with her in the first few weeks of her life. Can you share what specific things you have done to find healing? I would love some ideas. I do feel as though my confidence as a mother is growing which is helping me heal and accept that this was my journey, but I would love more tips as to how to accept this and even perhaps one day be proud of it.
Thanks Amanda, I cried the whole video, I’m so with you 😘. Same as you I had 2 c- sections , my first nearly 6 years ago with my daughter was emergency one with fully anesthetic( water birth with no drugs- was my plan) and long waking up-so traumatic ,and second 10 months ago with my son I was advised to go for c-section because this could have happened again, second time much better healing 😘😘😘love your videos
It’s amazing how healing the 2nd one can be 💗
AmandaMuse TOTALLY mentally and physically big difference
My experience is much like yours... it was a traumatic emergency csection after failed induction...that was in 2015 and since then I've been scared to have another baby. I feel like I'd have an elective one for my next...i get stressed when people tell me I MUST try for a Vbac. I feel bad though that having a csection will determine how frequent i can have kids and perhaps...how many i can have. I need to do a video like this on my channel if April is an awareness month
Thank you for sharing. You should definitely make a video ☺️💗
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, your story and your tears with us. With my first son I was planning to have a un-meddicated birth, and I ended up having a c-section, for which I was zero prepared emotionally. Now I'm pregnant with our second baby and I have mixed feelings about childbirth... I would still want to have a natural un-medicated birth... But what if I have another c-section? The thing is, I guess, I'm still afraid of the experience, I'm still afraid of what can happen, and I am on my path to learn to overcome that fear and deal with it. Your story and emotions on this video helped me accept my story a little bit more, and feel that I'm not alone. Thank you for that.
You are not alone, and I'm glad to help you feel more supported. xo .
Amen! Thank you for this! ❤
My birth was quick and easy. My pregnancy with my second was horribly traumatic. It was one thing after another, possible downs, VCI, vasa previa and most of my pregnancy I felt like my body couldn't do the one thing it was designed to do. I didn't end up with any of those but it did turn out I had a bi-lobed placenta which they didn't know till I gave birth. I think the more we empower other moms the more we grow ourselves. We raise better humans when we do it together ❤ plus I love all birth stories
On acknowledging the scar: at 3 or 4 days postpartum a midwife came into my room for a regular check up and said "Oh, your scar is beautiful, would you like to see it", I almost cried, saying no, I hated that thing, it was forever there to remind me that I had failed on the first step of becoming a mother. And this lovely midwife, bless her soul, knowing that VBACs are basically non-existent here, said "Your scar is yours to keep, it's now and forever your way to bring life into this world, you should never be ashamed of it, no-one can take your birth or your baby away from you now." and then added "Plus, you would actually be able to show your child exactly where YOUR babies come from, mamas with vaginal births - probably not so much :D"
I loved my c-sections lol however I had a very traumatic natural delivery with my first. So when I went on to have my second baby I asked for a c-section. As well with my third. BUT I can see where it can be very traumatic for women. ❤️❤️
We all walk a different path, it’s true! Thank you for sharing 💗
I am so so sorry to take over the comment section but I would love if Dean could share his side of the experiencing the c-sections, what were his fears and concerns and to what extend did have an opinion on how you should deliver. I cringe when I hear future dads go "My wife is not having a c-section and that's that" - and not realizing that sometimes even the moms don't have a choice. I lucked out and have a super supportive partner, that didn't complain one bit when helping through recovery, not to mention he did not care how we "split into two", as long as we were both healthy.
I am also a C-section mama April 25th 2024😢 i had wished for a normal first time birth but i ended up going for an emergency C-section.. i wasn't happy.. i literally cried. A lot of things came into my mind...my body is going to change...will i survive this. Oh the healing process is painful and long am still not healed to this day. For the fact that i wasnt ready for it i wasnt happy but i had to be okay with it and i told myself that C-section was my normal delivery.
Belly birth mama here! Thank you for making such a wonderful video. I too had planned a natural home water birth and ended up having a mandatory caesarean do to breech babe with potential special needs. I have to say it was a beautiful wonderful experience. Got to do delayed chord clamping, I had them drop the drape, and I got to have my baby girl on my breast while I was being stitched. I was only separated from her for about 5 mins while being taken to recovery. However I do still find myself struggling to say I birthed my baby.... when I know I should say “ heck ya I did! She just came out a different hole”. Anyway thanks again for making this video 💕
I tell my kids they took the sunroof option!!! 💗
Ive had 5 girls naturally and never had a tear or been cut and now Im 33 weeks and 5 days with my last baby which is my only boy and hes breech and they said if he doesn't turn they are gonna schedule my c section. Im terrified. I dont want to go through surgery. I dont care about the scar or what other people say. My concerns are me being scared of being cut open. Also I want my baby as soon as hes born. I have all these other kids to take care of also. How bad is the pain after the spinal wears off? How hard is recovery? How soon can you breastfeed after?
I started crying at minute 5.. I was told that I should have a c section at all 37 weeks.
I was planning on an unmedicated natural birth.
Thank you for this video. My mom had a c-section for me and she used to tell me that every year on my birthday her scare would get super itchy! I thought it was funny and it made me feel special in a way. Have you experience anything like that?
Sometimes it does get itchy, I never thought about it that way though! ☺️
Love how you put this ❤️ can’t believe you would get negative comments on that post! I’m the same, planning all natural, unmediated births, and can imagine the heartache and disappointment if things don’t go as planned 😞
YASSSSSSS. Preach, Mama!! 🙌🙌
a great video! thank you
💗
The position of your scars sound just like mine! My first was perfect because she was breech and high up. My seconds head was diagonal into my hip so that scar is crooked because of her head.
I had a friend post something angry about csection awareness month, because she had a natural birth. And I think it's just not fair to be angry about an experience that you didn't have. My csection was extremely traumatic. I planned on all natural calm birth, and it all changed. My daughter came early, and she wasn't supposed to live, and I didn't even know if she was alive after they took her out. Not to mention the pain, physically, I had afterwards. The whole thing was awful. I think that's the point of the awareness month. The majority of csections are traumatic births, in one way or another. It's unfortunate that there is always some shaming.
It took a long to come to terms with how my labour and birth turned out. I kept going between saying I should have been more adamant about trying to keep going with the birth and recognising times within my labour where the midwife's actions had affected the eventual outcome. I was induced a few days early and was given a pitocin drip. The first midwife was barely in the room to watch me have a full contraction but was in control of how much pitocin to give so she kept upping it. At one point my contractions didn't really have a beginning or an end and then the back pain began. I believe my baby rotated to posterior at that point. Fast forward many hours the ob came to check on me. My body had been trying to push for a while but I wasn't allowed to until the Ob came. A quick check showed I was only 7cm dilated and confirmed bub was posterior. At this point the gas was doing nothing and they recommended an emergency c section because it would be safer to do it then (it was around 8pm by this time) rather than in the middle of the night (My ob was up at 6am to come induce me at the hospital) I took the c section knowing I would soon not have to feel the contractions anymore. Bub was healthy and we had skin to skin contact and breastfeeding straight away but the actual labour is a bitter sweet memory
This sounds very hard, wow. Thank you for sharing 💗
I shouldn’t have put my make up on before watching this video. You’re both experiences are very similar to mine and I am also not a fan of touching or having anyone else touch my scar. I’m hoping that I can be as confident and content as you are one day.
Carly Luu I’m working on it too 💗
You are a beautiful human :)
My scar is the same way and I feel the same way about it and my belly button 😂. This was a beautiful video.
☺️💗
I would like to share my story it's different .. I had my baby early my blood pressure went high and the doctor said I can't let you leave the hospital with him in your belly no one was there with me .. I was beating my self up how my body fail him he was so small it's scary .. when people come to visit they will be like poor thing he is so tiny you shouldn't have listen to that doctor or why u were so stressed that you made your blood pressure high .. it hurts .. being a mom is hard enough no need for shaming one another ..
Wauw.........you are sweet, warm, wise and gorgeous!!! We have to be nice to eachother!!! 😘
I have had a c section and the fear of going through the pain again is stoping me from thinking about the second one. My husband want's another baby and i do too... but i m too scared...
Alice Sava I had a giant cry after this video because that what hurts my heart the most - that I might not have my Jack had I let the fear win. I definitely understand your feelings 💗
Childbirth is hard. Being a momma is hard. It’s so important to support each other. I was able to have a vaginal birth, but I had an awful experience & I wasn’t able to see my baby for his first 24 hours. AWFUL.
Kelsea Tackett I’m so sorry for you! I had my 4th recently and couldn’t hold him for the first maybe half hr and after 3 births of holding h8: immediately after it made a big difference to me bonding with him (I felt like I loved him madly a week or so in, but it still wasn’t the same as the immediate holding and loving experience I had 3 times earlier). I really pray that more hospitals make holding the baby an urgent need if st all possible. I hope your little guy or girl is ok xxxx
Sarah W I was able to hold him for about 30 min before they took him to the nicu. I am grateful for that. I had preeclampsia and because of the medications I was on, they didn’t let me out of bed for 24 hours. I’m currently 32 weeks pregnant and praying for a much better experience. Thankfully, my little guy is a perfectly healthy almost 2 year old.
I just had a c section yesterday an its so painful
Tomorrow will be better than today. And it will continue to get easier. I hope you’re ok 💗
I hope so 😢 an thank you so much i never new what ppl went thru tell now
I read kindness as kidneys lol
I gave it a good thought over the past few days and I must say I really do not understand why the Csection mothers feel the need to explain themselves to anyone. Why do they feel a need to be recognized as mothers by other mothers.
I mean I am very sorry but this sounds a bit crazy to me. Maybe my own personal story put things in ‘a down to Earth’ perspective but I really feel this blown out of any logical proportion.
It’s human nature for people to want to feel validated. TBH you’re proving my point. Is your experience somehow “more” than someone else’s?
I had 3 csections.one to give birth to my baby girl who had died 24 hrs earlier. I really could't give a ... about who feels it is an easier or more difficult way to give birth. I couldn't really care about who wants to listen to how I gave birth either. Maybe my priorities have changed. Maybe it's just me.