What about your partner?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ต.ค. 2024
- Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings
➡️ linktr.ee/patr...
⚠️ Disclaimer
My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.
If you are, or someone you know, is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255
“They are with someone they’re close to and they have nothing to work with - just like childhood” its truly is a nightmare 🤦🏾♀️😞
This is what I was just going to quote. That really stood out to me.
There’s a reason that partnered can be one of the loneliest conditions there is - and you nailed it.
This!😢 I have CPTSD from early childhood emotional neglect/abuse. I married a man with avoidant attachment. 30 years of continued emotional neglect. 10 yrs separated. He says he doesn't do "psycho babble" Its been so painful & lonely. You cant heal in a similar environment you grew up in.
😢❤
Spot on, “you can’t heal in similar you grew up in”. 100% True
❤
I grew up with childhood trauma from my parents that lasted well into my adulthood and marriage, and in the middle of dealing with that on a regular basis, married a covert narcissist with very controlling and narcissist parents and brother. I had no idea why he didn't want to work on our relationship or said the hurtful awful things he did (and a lot more triggering things I will not mention here), and why his family seemed so backwards half the time and nice the other half. I attempted therapy for my childhood issues and ended up opening a HUGE can of worms, and realized the person I was with was extremely abusive and toxic, not just my parents, as well as my in-laws! I had married into another horribly toxic family. I'm getting out now and fighting for my kids, thanks to a wonderful trauma informed therapist, and determined to find out what a healthy relationship really looks and feels like - someday, after I'm in a healthier place. Yikes.
Your videos are amazing. You understand this stuff inside out.
Absolutely 💯 one guy called it "Kumbiya crap."
Bye
Buy him books, acts like he can’t read. Send him a podcast, never gets around to listening.
Now he’s angry that I can’t try anymore. He’s never going to “get it”….*on purpose.*
And just as sad and confusing... Is when they are partially available, I call it "surface-ly" available, but they think and act like ALL is/will be "fixed" just by me going to my counselor and/or taking my meds. 😢
Not only the partner also the ones close too you. But it's also a lifelesson cause that means you have some healing too do and some boundries too set or maintain.
So true, and it is EXHAUSTING!!
My husband is a psychiatrist. You would think I nailed it with "psych minded," but I've never felt more disconnected in a relationship, even though he understands all I've dealt with. His emotional capacity is limited. He understands and supports me, but there's no true emotional intimacy and it's lonely.
The few non-traumatized people around who had an emotional secure upbringing do have the skills needed, even more than us, but may not speak the psychology phrases and words we do from therapy. And some people might want to consider therapy but need our impact or a good conversation to do so. Nobody is perfect but true kindness does exist and we should not lead with mistrust.
You totally just described my marriage, and just as you stated: they’re with someone they’re close to and they have nothing to work with just like childhood. And unfortunately , my husband isn’t just a “pain in the ass.” He’s an extremely toxic narcissist and the most selfish, self-centered, heartless, and thoughtless human being I ever known and heard of.
Thank you Patrick.
Yes, and that's why I had to exit the relationship 😢
Explains a lot, thank you for all your Videos.
Oh boy were my previous partners psych-minded. So much so they used my trauma against me. I’ve since learned I sought those people out because it was familiar and I thought I could fix them. Thanks, childhood trauma for THAT!
THANK U so much for putting this into words. i call pysch-mindedness 'enlightenment' and u are right it is the most painful slog accidentally being with people who arent pysch minded. thank goodness i am now 🙌
I don't have time for such people... thank God I've got my red flag detector back in service...
Is there a website specifically for people who are actively working on themselves to meet each other? Because meeting people in the wild (including on current apps) is a toxic waste dumpster fire lol
I’ve wondered that too! Unfortunately the area I live in is FILLED with emotionally immature people, and at this point I’ve just given up trying to date as it seems that everyone I meet is never going to work on themselves
I’ve wondered that too! Unfortunately the area I live in is FILLED with emotionally immature people, and at this point I’ve just given up trying to date as it seems that everyone I meet is never going to work on themselves
I’ve wondered that too! Unfortunately the area I live in is FILLED with emotionally immature people, and at this point I’ve just given up trying to date as it seems that everyone I meet is never going to work on themselves
Ppl on apps are not good quality tbh. Met two exes on them 😂 never again .
I think I said the other day, my husband has gone to therapy with me! Let me see if I can copy and paste what I said...
"My husband has gone to therapy with me. He knows that asking for help with certain aspects of your life is a sign of strength, not weakness. Just part of the wonderful person he is! :) Having said that, though, you can think that you can control outside situations (like whether or not your spouse has any interest in going to therapy). But, the truth is, you can only choose how you react. It is empowering to realize that! If you feel bad because you can't convince someone to get therapy, realizing that you can't control anything but your reaction can free you! Take care, everyone! Susan"
So true. I'm lucky enough to now have a small group of friends who all own their shit, and we're not perfect, but we all respect one another's boundaries and energy, so navigating any conflict that comes up doesn't have to be SO difficult. Only problem is that I now have much less patience with people who don't own their shit, and there are a lot of them in the world 😢
Navigating these things has brought me closer to the true history of man.
These problems have been resolved in the past. Unquestionably.
We are in the dark, on purpose.
I just don’t have anybody at all. Sigh. 😢
You have you and freedom to be you. Fly high!
@@judithbamber3140 Thanks for invalidating my desire for love here. I *want* love and connection, not to be by myself. I've had me for 44 years, and I'd like a relationship, thank you very much.
Agreed. Was with someone last year who was not only not psych minded but also had his own, very severe, relational/childhood trauma and spent the duration of our relationship trying to pretend everything was okay. This not only meant a lot of masking on his part but also a great deal of discomfort whenever I would show any emotions or want to discuss anything remotely serious- I was labelled intense and he insisted he was very laid back, even though he clearly wasn't 😂
Wow!! Thank you
No SH*T! Patrick nails it again! The only way you can survive that situation is setting boundaries- and that’s triggering too. I have this thing now I do- I’ll say “knock knock” to that person and do the motion with my hand and then say, “oh, yeah, nobody’s home.” Might as well laugh.
Yes it kinda sucks.
So true
...and me, the ever forgiving soul, waits for him to become "psyche minded." 😢❤️🩹
Don't wait. Cuz then you'll regret not taking the chance on people who actually are worthy of our time and energy...
@@lesliesantos8595 😊💕