Limerence while married? Is it possible?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ค. 2024
- Disclaimer: Just my opinions. TH-cam is not therapy, nuance is everything.
Get 1-1 coaching from me for limerence: www.unfoldinglimerence.com
Join for free, my community "Learning through Limerence": unfoldinglimerence.mykajabi.c...
Hi I’m Marios, on this channel we talk about psychology. I'm doing my doctorate degree in counselling psychology in London.
🕊Twitter: / marios_cg
📸Insta: / marios_cg
♪TikTok: / marios_cg
Chapters:
00:00-01:14 - INTRO
01:15-02:35 - IS IT CHEATING?
02:36-04:07 - IT IS NOT A CRUSH EXACTLY
04:08-06:09 - WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
06:10-07:50 - LIMERENCE IS NOT LOVE
07:51-08:30 - OUTRO
Disclaimer: On the channel we discuss themes relating to psychology and mental health, but it is not advice and if you need support including mental or medical attention please seek support from a licensed professional.
#limerence #obsession #heartbreak
tags: limerence, obsessive love, obsession, love, why can't I stop thinking about them, psychology, personal development, limerence help, limerence cure, limerence vs love, limerence abandonment, limerence addiction, limerence intrusive thoughts - บันเทิง
Thank you for your channel. I have struggled with limerence for most of my adult life (on and off- and teenage years) and finding your videos finally filled in the gaps and helped me feel seen and heard. It's given me the strength to ask my husband to support me and understand the limerence, and I am slowly recovering from my latest LE from watching your videos (coupled with my own inner work/inner child stuff). Thank you for giving of this information so freely.
I am a married man, 60 years old. I had a friend who I had a great platonic relationship with a 40 year old female colleague. We texted nearly every day, mostly just fun banter, although sometimes we shared deep personal issues, and leaned on each other. We called each other best friend. Then we had a big fight, and she said she did not want to be my friend any more. I apologised, and texted her I was I wanted to make up. But she did not reply. I believed she really meant it, so I have been no contact with her. My wife knows all about it, I didn't have anything to hide from her, so she has been supportive. The separation from my former friend hurts me very deeply, and I miss her horribly. I think about her all the time during the day, and lie awake at night thinking about her. I imagine seeing and speaking to her, and rehearsing what I would say, so that we can be friends again. It's been over two months, and it seems like forever. I don't want to tell my wife about the limerence, because it's not normal to be like this about an ex-friend.
Thanks for sharing this- I hope it is much better for you now ( you postet it three months ago) and wish you all the best. Why should it not be normal to be very said about loosing a very good friend?
I was (or am) in a very similar situation. It was incredibly hurtful for 8Months, but finally I think I could work it out. Limererence is now almost completely gone, it’s possible even though I see her regularly at work. But it was a long way.
@@Snoerk Thanks for you kind words. It's nearly 6 months now, and the limerence is receding. I still think about my ex-friend every day, but the insomnia and sadness has gone, replaced by acceptance.
Thank you for all your wonderful videos! I am from the United States and I find it so amazing that people take the time to give out such wonderful information from all over the world. You’re a wonderful therapist thank you.
Going thru this right now. I'm in a 15 yr relationship, dearly love my partner but I can't stop thinking about my LO. but this has happened with past men before. But only after seeing this vid do I feel like I might have the courage to work thru it and be free. My LO is currently dating someone and I genuinely want the best for them. And I want to be a true friend to him, not a woman secretly pining over him. It's not fair to me or him. My therapist tells me its an escape from my problems, an obsession. I believe she's right, but damn, its hard. I get caught up with "will they move in together?" "Will they marry and have kids?" But my biggest shame/fear is wanting something bad to happen to my relationship so i can run to him. I'm trying, and I feel like this video along with the rest can help me better understand this mental illness. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. Please continue, I'll stay tuned 😊
glad you got on the doctorate. Welcome to the club.
Great advice.
Thanks a lot for your very helpful videos!
Excellent. Thank you :)
Thank you
I think that being limerent is always shameless, especially in marriage or relationships. I did it with my ex boyfriend, but I was honest with him (not about limerence, just about painful breakup).
I'm wondering if there is a correlation between limerence and BPD? You talk a lot about image of "perfect myself" towards LO. Does it mean that we don't know who we really are? Such a strange coping mechanism to get a little piece of love from person who may even doesn't know about you. Healing from limerence feels like waking up after a deep coma.
I'm not married but am in a long term relationship (I should never have entered into but that's another story) & this has happened to me twice. Both times I wasn't looking for anything but women showed genuine interest & I got too attached, 2nd one I'm struggling through right now. All the advice is to let go & move on but when you're in a relationship you can't move on without breaking it up which is even more pain on top of the limerence pain!
Break it up before you cheat. It’s not fair on the partner, believe me I’ve been on the other side of this.
But can the person going though Limerence control their impulses?
How can i get rid of it? no contact is impossible, he is My co-worker. 10 years ago i refused him, bec. of being limerent for another boy, now he has become My co-worker,and i regret for refusing him every breath i take. he is unavailable now, please help me. 🤕
What happens if the limerent cuts off from the LO before taking it past flirty texts/outings...they end it before they lose interest in them (for fear of losing their marriage). If they run into the LO months later, will limerence begin again since the limerent may still have them on a pedestal?
There are no guarantees, but my experience has been that limerence needs to run its course (which may take months or years) to avoid chances of it reigniting the feelings. No contact is a long term solution for those who choose it. You can reengage with the person once the limerence has completely gone.
I think you are full of BS
Okay 👌🏽