I want to say this to all the ones that got away: remember how they treated you before you even think about going back to them. There’s no greater punishment than having them watch you glow up, get in a better position in life, and meet the one that is deserving of your love.
Yes, same here!! He cheated, discarded me first, but I was elated when he found new supply!! I met a terrific guy and we were married a year later. The narc ex didn't see it coming, and after 34 years, I get a hoover from him on LinkedIn. I did not reply, but almost did. He was married too, on his 3rd!! I blocked him. No contact forever!!
Every word of this is true. He attempted to get in touch after 3 years… at first it hit me like a dopamine rush; I even contemplated replying but had to sleep on it first. Slept on it, and felt disgusted. I spent a lot of time and money on therapy, therefore it didn’t make sense to undo all the hard work. Staying no contact forever! It’s not worth the BS.
Mine as well, with messages that we should visit projects he knew I was associate on (?!?!) explaining to me how he discovered them online and he was blown away, like I had no clue they exist(?!?!). All that after he knew I moved to another country with another man...They have no limits!
NO CONTACT, that's the only option...no answering the phone, texts, email, social media,...otherwise you just invite the chaos back into your life...and you'll lose.
Yes! I WAS ONE WHO GOT AWAY! I LEFT MY EX 45 DAYS AGO. AND I DIDN'T LOOK 👀 BACK! I TOOK OUT THE TRASH AND HIM TOO! GOOD LUCK SURVIVORS 👍 NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! IT DOES WORK!
Yes! I am the one that got away too. Same as you. And yes. No contact. No contact. No contact. When I left, he would knock on my bedroom window at 2 am at night scaring the sh* out of me. He would knock on my door. I woud let him in. He would say how much he missed me. For weeks. No answer. I would not give him any hooks he could use to hook me in. No answer. No questions from me. No explanations. No discusssions. Nothing. No answer even if he was in front of me. No talking. No conversations. Block all communication. I knew I was fighting for my life. Block them everywhere. This is the only way to escape.
After 23 years of marriage I walked away on January 6th 2023 , on his birthday . He will surely remember me forever . . I spotted him at a cafe recently . He has thinned out and has an empty dead look in his eyes. I started to feel a twinge of sympathy for him then remembered what he did to me . . . I paid my bill n walked out . . .
@@itmebby yea u right but I don't want here ancient history that your holding too not if u want a conversation especially when we have kids one that really needs us and no matter how much I try to bury the something that's really old it's burns me alive
@@MentalHealness so I walk out and end it cause it's things I can't change nor fix and he will forever hate me for it and he is very sick and I only wanted his relationship with his kids before anything happens but neither side is trying and I can't do it all
If they didn't treat their Grade A supply correct the first time or the second time, they never will. And like Lee said, if we go back, we might not make it out again. The narc knows we have the ability to leave them so they will make sure to fully destroy us the next chance they get. My health (not wanting to catch STD's and infections) and not knowing what he will try next to hurt me, keeps me away. A relationship starts like a brand new piece of paper but the narc crumples it up. We won't ever be able to make that piece of paper brand new again. We won't ever be able to trust them again. We won't ever feel safe. So there's no point in going back. We already know the way this story goes. Even if the narc says to stop looking in the rear view mirror. If we don't learn the lessons of the past, we are doomed to repeat them.
I had a weird dream the other night.. for some reason me and my narc ex were sitting on the couch..my dad was there too.. I kept saying “when are u gonna hit me again tho??” Like over and over.. and my dad just sat there with a sad look in his eyes.. I had blocked him over a week ago.. and that dream solidified that I shouldn’t unblock him.. Sure enough, narc ex showed up at my house on Friday night.. tryin to “give me money”.. I said “nah, I’m good”.. he got so mad, started screaming and yelling and asking “why I blocked him”.. I said, “maybe you’ll figure it out on your drive home”.. felt great to finally put my foot down..(after 5 years).. He had no desire to even try to have a conversation.. he just wanted to come over, try and “wooo me” with some money.. and tried to be all nice.. nope.. beat it!! I barely let him inside the door.. (I think he was mad cuz he tried to dress up and look all cutesy for me, and instead of my usual, “oh wow, you look/smell nice” I just said, I’m good, go away.. and shut the door.. screamed and yelled outside my house for like 5-10mins.. then peeled off like an AH.. but wow, it felt great to finally not “give in”.. Sorry for the novel.. but thanks for listening if ya got this far
I think this is true. The one that got away? Probably were quite a few that ran for cover before the narc could get too far with the bs. That has to bruise an inflated ego. Such fakery. Can't be bothered. Time to go.
Right before the end, she said "I want the old you back" in a couple different ways. It wasnt until i was gone for a month did i realize that she wanted the person who had no boundaries that was easily manipulated. Thanks for spreading awareness brother.
that's what i said to toxic dude BEFORE i realized WHAT i was asking and WHO i was dealing with. i wanted the guy who approached me on day one. didn't know THAT was NOT the REAL him.... PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've heard this before, but instead of "I want the old you back", it was "i want the soft you back", but it was a situationship at the end of the day LOL.
I kicked him out and he literally whispered in my ear on his way out "Im not that easy to get rid off". They know what they are doing and don't care. In no contact right now.
Mine said something similar and many other things of the same nature......Man go that way!!!! If your everything you say you are, you'll have no problem finding someone better than me. 😂Right
Yep - 100%. They fear that you will leave them, but they don't think you ever realllllly will pull the trigger. And then, when you leave them, they take literally years if not decades to get over it, even when they remarry.
I got away and I would never want to go back to him. My life has been getting better since I decided enough was enough. I changed my phone number after the last hoovering attempt because I have no interest in talking to him, being cordial, none of that. We have no kids together so I can act like I don’t even know him. 😅😂
There’s always ‘one that gets away’ where a narcissist is concerned. This is why they have to find people in a low vibrational state that are easier to control and keep these victims on standby for when they’re good and ready to bestow their presence on them. If you have self respect, you’re not prepared to drink from the cool aid in which case, you kick them to the curb, erecting boundaries that would make Fort Knox proud, cutting off any avenues back into your presence. Self respect = a narc free life. Do they have regret for the one that got away? Nobody with self love for themselves really cares tbh.
So true, all of it!!! And everything Lee is saying here is true too!! I am so grateful I'm the one that didn't sleep with him, changed my number, blocked him on all social media, and got completely away!!
He already knows he messed up! He knew he was going to mess up before he did it. He knew he wasn’t worthy of me. I’m Glad he isn’t my headache and draining my energy anymore. He belongs with ghetto and ratchet because he is definitely not on my level in any way.
Omg I used to express my feelings and hear, “you’re trying to control me…” 🤔🤔 like how about I’m trying to be vulnerable in hopes you will understand me and stop hurting me…?🙄
He’s told me on multiple occasions that I’m the one that got away…at first I thought it was because he pursued me for years to no avail. After I gave him a chance and it didn’t work out, he told me again that I was the one that got away…I just thought he meant I was the one to figure him out and he couldn’t lie and manipulate me like he does the others.
It’s because they didn’t get to break you down or stay with you long enough until the novelty wore off. I had an ex tell me “I just feel like what we have isn’t over” after he ignored my text messages for a day while trying to reconcile. I deleted him because he had already kind of clowned me in the two months we dated before he dumped me and I was heartbroken thinking I was somewhat to blame. He sent me a voice message once I re-added him where he says that and once I went and saw him he was satisfied and went back to mistreating me. They really do just want to get pleasure from messing with and playing with you if you’re still good supply for when they’re lonely or bored. But yeah I got away from him and saw on Spotify he had a playlist for me that is very obviously for me and I am in a sense someone who got away for sure. I think he saved it in case we ever talk again through dating apps where he usually puts me likes because we once made each other playlists smh.
It took me six months to see clearly what I was dealing with; six months longer to totally deflate his ego and then to discard him cordially and peacefully. I allowed him to hoover via casual text with one to two words responses for 18 months more and then went totally no contact. All with never once going back or allowing him to see me, or showing any anger. He is now a basket case. Hopefully, he will tread more gently with the next woman. We are both in our 60's so there you have it. They get worse in their old age. But every once in a while, they choose wrongly.
I was married for 28 years of MISERY!! I thank you for your insight and sensitivity towards victims!! I respect you because you recognize who you are BUT, you are in treatment and understand. Be blessed!!
The thing is, even if you're squared against the one that got away, don't engage. Stand your ground and refuse to fight. By knowing your self-worth, you will topple that leaderboard. But don't ever ever go back. As soon as you go back you'll be at the bottom, because they have so much shame regarding themselves that they believe a decent woman wouldn't touch them.
Yes they do. 43 years later and he still sends me friend requests on Facebook. I just keep declining hoping he will get the message it doesn't matter how long it is I still don't want you in my life.
Hopefully, there is no "message." Just stay gone. Grey Rock, No Contact, & BLOCK. It doesn't matter what they think. Keep them far far away from you. You shouldn't be aware of anything that they are saying or doing. It is no longer your business and you shouldn't want it to be. That's the only path to living a narc free life. Good luck.
I appreciate your contribution to my healing. Thanks for not trying to give me hope in a hopeless place, but truth and honesty. Take care of yourself because you're helping so many.😊
I think i was the one... and it is crumbling. It is saddening. I think the A1 supply gets treated the worst because of the trauma bond and because they mean the 'most' to the narc.. Still learning. ❤
Bless you. I am a licensed mental health counselor. Be encouraged. Some healthy minds watch your channel because they want you to teach them how to stay in a toxic relationship. And your haters are made because you are bring full awareness of the games people play. Be encouraged and stay blessed💚💕
The realest, relatable topic on this day. Just got a divorce and " you will never get involved with another man " you ain't going nowhere ", " keep (being intimate)me because at least you know me, his words. I didn't block him. He hurt to know I got the text and or/call and don't care to respond. Not worried, divinely protected. Karma got him.😂😂
UNH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "divinely protected." YOU BETTER KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (made me think of H. Walker's "God Favored Me." 'bout to loop it!!!!) "DIVINELY PROTECTED!!!!!" PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
respectfully, Ms.Tanisha...just focus on you, your healing, your rising. YOUR PROGRESS will eventually disprove whatever lies are being told about you...by a fool!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!
My narc ex always told me how he didn’t speak to me like he did his other exs because he “respected me”. All while he’s screaming at me 😂 but I’m the one who got away. He only dated bums and being with me fed his narcissistic mind. I had a lifestyle that made him feel important and he enjoyed the attention he was getting. A good looking man, nice house, nice car, good money, great friends etc. everything he didn’t have. He was definitely extremely jealous and resentful. It’s been Over two years and some how he’s still telling people Im the cause of his all his problems..😂
I think it is much more common that narcs trianglate & let their partner know that this other one is somebody who's interested in the narc oh the old exes are still interested in the narc
My Narc Ex once said that her Ex retweeted a post on Twitter that was talking about personality over looks and she felt bad thinking her personality was never good. I reassured her but I also asked why/when and how she knows he retweeted that post? Because she always said she never cared about him anymore... I never got a clear answer. But at one point she said her Ex doesn't even use twitter 😕 nothing she said ever added up and that was the same Ex she would bring up often or compare me to a lot also.
I work with my narc ex. Literally left and blocked him 32 days ago. I still see him. He has new supply (another coworker), and he tries to keep a “living the best life face” while he smears and isolates me from my coworkers. It’s hard but I am trying to take it day by day. But I have never reached out to him, and I left him as soon as I caught him cheating. He didn’t expect me to leave so abruptly. I know for a fact he got a narcissistic injury. He hates me currently and blocked me too (I know because of work stuff). I don’t know if he’s obsessed, but I am truly afraid of him hurting me/my career.
Update: He never blocked me, he just ignored me lol even about work related things. It’s been almost a month since I reached out to him about work stuff, I just try to get things done around him. Yes, I am laying in the bed I made. This was such a big lesson for me. I do not ever want to go back. But I am just observing him. He’s either reverse hoovering me right now with the silent treatment, or he has permanently discarded me. Either way, I feel so much more at peace without him and I am doing my best to avoid the flying monkeys!
It depends on the people... If you are strong and really love yourself you will get away. It is a hard way (because you really loved that person) but you will manage with time. Give it time to heal but you have to realize that you have to love yourself more and that person has issues (I call it that way). You can´t and will never change a person who doesn´t want to. It is hard for people who are empaths but you just can´t help someone who doesn´t want help... BUT: Yes people can get away - I am just sure of that.
i'm a hyper-empath. but to quote another on this page: "DIVINELY PROTECTED!!" stepped back within 3 weeks! VERY PAINFUL!!!!!! VERY!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT i kept telling myself, and still do, EXACTLY what you wrote about LOVING ME more than i'll EVER love or think i love ANY male, ANY, narcissist or not!!!! (honestly, i actually wrote a poem about THAT FACT this morning. gonna upload it...soon...) unh-unh: I LOVE ME, TRULY!!! and i'm fully grown and fully aware of exactly what you wrote: "YOU CAN'T AND WILL NEVER CHANGE A PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT TO!!!!!" damn, i REALLY wanted to love that boy!!!! I'M THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY because he basically LOST a winning lottery jackpot ticket!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m was told I was the one who got away , and I have been in this up and down rollercoaster for 9 years and tomorrow I’m done I’m leaving and No I’m not telling him that I’m leaving .
If you are there favorite then you are the one that got away. Do not expect them back, be strong you got this, and set boundaries, be form, and stay firm what you do or say. If they act crazy document and here come the cops next.
I dated my ex briefly the first time 18yrs ago. We reconnected and had a 4 year relationship. I didn't know he was a covert narcissist until near the end. He really didn't think I was going to get away this time. He tore me down to almost nothing, but he would have been happy to keep me around forever. He underestimated my strength throughout the entire relationship. I finally had to go no contact to survive. He hasn't tried to hoover directly, but he continues to contact his non biological children. He really thinks I'm going to let him in my life in any way. That's a big no. He flat out told my adult son that he went to therapy recently & they confirmed he's not a narcissist 🙄 Either way, he's an emotional abuser.
I am sooooo agree with you .... After 4 years .... he still stalk me on social media , call and messages me from fake numbers . I moved out from another country far away and I know every time when he is in back of all this ... Thanks for confirmation
My ex attached to his exes son who isn't his but he's been there since he's been born. He lied to me saying the boy was his and the mother abandoned him for drugs. He said he was going to get custody of the boy and never did anything. Just leeched off everyone with lies. I learned he really hated me and was jealous of me. I was warring with him for almost two years. I left him alone and it's been peaceful. He has been at my door crying and lying. I actually hate him and have no more compassion for him.
Great video …. Very helpful. I definitely “got away” too soon. I’m hoping that he will leave me alone … it’s been 3 months of no contact. He abruptly discarded me before he was ready … cause I “saw his behavior patterns” and called him out … he immediately ended the relationship. He never got the chance to fully devalue me. I got out 🏃
I got away from my narc husband because he treated me horrible and was planning to kill me, because he didn't need me anymore because I had already made him rich, he got very drunk and told me how he planned to finish my life, he tried to hoover me back and marry me again until he died, I knew that if I go back he would kill me 💯. I got out and stayed out . Of course, I was the love of his life and yet he was going to kill me. Thanks for the video.
Yep, and it was me! She’s had a thing for me since 1999 and we’ve gone back & forth for years but just because I will most likely be “The One” doesn’t mean she didn’t treat me the worst. I also had a very long lovebombing stage but still not tolerating her abuse and left in November finally, for good. I’m guessing my ex will end up settling later in life.
The person I was in a relationship who had narcissistic traits claimed that he had several "ones that got away". Which I read as he pushed them away with his bad behaviour. He was exhausting to be with. I had to see him recently (I had no choice) and he told me he currently has a "good partner". I started at him blankly, and at that point I told him I had to go home. A good partner? He has had several and they all told him to get the hell out of his life. When I left he was in denial. I believe his current partner was around when he was still texting me, trying to engage, and telling me he was still in love with me. He is definitely not the one that got away for me. I realized he would never change and that his life is such a mess. I have a great life and I would not ruin it for him. I'm so glad I'm away from him. I'm healing and will continue for a while. I have no desire to be in a relationship until I feel certain that I will never chose a man like my ex ever again.
I love that Kane Brown song called Heaven. I actually felt that way with the narc and sent the song to him. But good times in bed aren't worth being used, drained, talked crap about, cheated on, and never knowing what he will do next. Sadly I've been celibate ever since because it'll be hard to find that heaven again. Lol.
I think what you’re doing is so powerful and I know I can speak for most of us here when I say “thank you” for helping many of us with your testimony and advice. Blessings and light on your continued journey of self awareness and teaching others.
Yes! I'm in a relationship now with one who I was the one who got away a 20 years ago. He even married twice, and I was the one who "got away". We are dating now and I'm recognizing his behaviors as a narcissist, and because I do love him and believes he loves me how he can, I'm learning how to manage the difficulties in our relationship in a way that is good for both of us. This has been so informational AND, yes, I can totally relate to this. He sometimes is angry with me that I didn't leave my relationship of that time, to be with him. I'm always trying to explain to him that I recognized back then that a relationship between us would have been difficult, and I didn't have the maturity back then, that I have now. The struggle is real, but at this point, he does sometimes show awareness of his behavior and I have the ability to step back, recognize his behaviors as what they really are and respond in a healthy way. Thank you for your videos because they do give me hope that he can improve, with the right supports and him wanting to (and he does) Your videos also explain his behaviors and give me insight in how to respond. You are a hero!
Yes they do and sometimes they have let him or her get away , get away from TRUE learning selfhelp healing, that really showed you how much they love you, and making the choices to run away from TRUE freedom from the worst enemy you have , and that's yourself, for those who don't know
30 years later and my 1st husband still is trying to stay in contact. Even after he stalked me and it's only because I've been watched over that I'm still here.
Hi, thanks for even sharing, (and this is a little off topic) but not to be prejudice but as a 33 year old black woman, this makes me feel better that not only a black man that sounds to be American like myself, but have this diagnosis overall. I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but I was honestly thinking of not pursuing college because of the guilt of my potential disorder and also not continuing a relationship with my partner due to me feeling like I would be a burden to his life. So this is motivating in a sense that I'm not alone. Thank you very much for sharing.
I was emotionally disconnected while planning my exit. I let him talk , project , lie , & cheat on himself & deflect. He pulled the trigger on himself. We must know ourselves truly . When you do youll know your worth . Leave .
That’s my ex girlfriend… she literally had a baby with someone else and still 7 years later she still obsessed with me. She sabotaged her relationship and now she’s not with that guy… she’s a mess, she even named her kid after my nickname
I’m the one that got away. It’s been almost 4 years now. He’s posting about me on his socials and calling me a narcissist. I only look a few times per year when I’m feeling sad and curious. I’m actually grateful for our relationship because as terrible as it was, it was my wake-up call. Now being the one that got away gives me a some pride and feeds my ego. As much as I try to release my ego, I’m still only human and it feels good knowing that I was the best he’ll ever have!
YES!!!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! to answer the question! HE HIT THE JACKPOT AND DIDN'T KNOW OR CARE ... i literally just said THAT FACT within the last 24 hours!!!! got away. need to stay away, at least physically 'cause i'm STILL thinking about dude! get out of my head HAMMOCK!!!!!!! can't tell you how many times i've been...thinking...and logged on and there's a video about...my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!! too synchronistic!!!!
huh, the person that i had always thought of as the one that away, turned out to be a narcissist. and the reason why i felt this way was because of the love bombing and then, nothing.
he used to tell me "I know you gonna run away from me like the others" and I never understood why he would say that. so I think he was used to women abandoning him, not the other way around. that was probably his way of doing things, so he could hoover them easily when the time comes.
The churches need to learn about all of this and do a better job of preparing the congregation before marriage and after. I've been feeling like my life is disposable and appreciate how on spot your insight is, and when you said everyone wants to go to heaven but live a good life while you're here.
Survivor here. I lived this with my ex husband for 20 years. I didn't realize he was a narcissist until I was older. My ex husband and I have been together since we were 17. In Hines sight this relationship was over 13 years ago.I just didn’t know what I was dealing with or how to get out. God saved me and didn’t allow me to loose my mind.
Now it makes sense.He admitted to looking for his "ex" after we had been married for years. He said he was hoping to find her miserable and that bad things had happened to her.( terrible things to admit) Then I found out his ex was a woman that he had known for 2 weeks. He love bombed her and put her down in conversations, made friends with her mom whom she didnt get along with. Hes still hung up on her.
Hey Lee!! I love all of your videos!! You have helped me tremendously in my healing process from my narcissistic relationship. I felt so alone until I started watching your videos. Just to know that my ex was and still is always chasing his kids Mother let’s me know that Im not crazy. I told him when we were together that it bothered him if she had a boyfriend or if he was not her focus. He swore up and down that he was done with her romantically, but my instinct was telling me different and I seen signs of him still loving her and love bombing her. She was his ONE that got away. Thank you for helping me heal Lee!! Your videos are super powerful to me!!! Nothing but Love to You and Your Family!!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Its exactly right the mind feckers! They hate you but wont f off!!? nah and he really in fact does think I will always be there for him. "Getting away emotionally" is everything. Lee helped me so much Dr. Ramani just to name a few greats! Appreciate yall😊
My ex narcissist cheated on me then discarded me but when he sees me he tells me he loves me,he misses our family,im a great woman, and he hasnt forgotten that about me and I just ignore him and he is with someone else it’s been 5 months and im loving my peace and my healing I will never go back period
Figured out my current husband is a narc *after* we got married. The first few years of being together, we had roommates, meaning he behaved very well. Then they moved out, and the pandemic hit. We grew a deep trauma bond as we went thru covid together. We eventually had some time apart, and I should've seem the signs, but things didn't get really bad til after the wedding. I know I'm not his first choice, and he knows he's not my first choice. I may leave someday, but for now, I'm learning to cope and to get whatever I can out of this situation. Best wishes to all
I was discarded 7 weeks ago; he got mad because he ghosted me and i just let it be. When he came back, I told him I had another friend, then he discarded me. This has left me so confused; I guess I'm the one that got away.
I hope I never eva meet another narcissist. I am so thankful for all the videos and information y'all putting out cause I understand what happened so clearly and working on me and therapy and no contact with dude cause he broke my ass down to I was gutteral crying . Nope not breaking the nc having your emotions played with is sick
I left kids daddy yesrs ago to this day he will tell me i lost the best thing when I had u. And have to remind him thats been a long time ago buddy im different woman now. Not that little girl he remembers
I have experienced so much of what you are talking about. They have gotten married. However, I receive random "hello" texts and check my cameras from time to time because I know how they have been in the past.
I just wanna take the time to comment to let people know that being "the one" IS NOT a good thing. I am the one who got away for my ex and he won't STOP TRYING. I am married to someone else and he has a gf that mutual friends know. It never ends! If I didn't share a child with them, I'd go no contact. We have an OP and it's still not enough for him to get it!!
Nothing more fun that two narcissists trying to make it work! Mine married someone else and I have a long term relationship. “We escaped each other” is an understatement.
I’ll say it for you. LEAVE!! Lee has educated folks too much for there to be any confusion on what you will eventually have to do to stay safe and sane. How many times has he said just because they love you doesn’t mean they will treat you well? Come on people! Lol
STRONG statement there...."They don't think you will ever leave them...but they treat you like you will."💯💯💯
smh. THISSSS is REALLY sad that ANY human acts like this and...worse still, acts like nothing is wrong with acting like THISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
💯
I think they know we should
it sums narcissists up. they want you to stay but push for you to leave, but don't think you will. whew
I got away. >:)
I want to say this to all the ones that got away: remember how they treated you before you even think about going back to them. There’s no greater punishment than having them watch you glow up, get in a better position in life, and meet the one that is deserving of your love.
Yes, same here!! He cheated, discarded me first, but I was elated when he found new supply!! I met a terrific guy and we were married a year later. The narc ex didn't see it coming, and after 34 years, I get a hoover from him on LinkedIn. I did not reply, but almost did. He was married too, on his 3rd!! I blocked him. No contact forever!!
Every word of this is true. He attempted to get in touch after 3 years… at first it hit me like a dopamine rush; I even contemplated replying but had to sleep on it first. Slept on it, and felt disgusted. I spent a lot of time and money on therapy, therefore it didn’t make sense to undo all the hard work. Staying no contact forever! It’s not worth the BS.
THANK YOU...for...what...i hope i won't have to remember...later. hope he just stays away.
love this for u 🫶🏾
Yesssss good for you 💪🏽💯
Mine as well, with messages that we should visit projects he knew I was associate on (?!?!) explaining to me how he discovered them online and he was blown away, like I had no clue they exist(?!?!). All that after he knew I moved to another country with another man...They have no limits!
❤️🙌✊ Great decision
NO CONTACT, that's the only option...no answering the phone, texts, email, social media,...otherwise you just invite the chaos back into your life...and you'll lose.
👍💯Agree!!!!
Yes! I WAS ONE WHO GOT AWAY! I LEFT MY EX 45 DAYS AGO. AND I DIDN'T LOOK 👀 BACK! I TOOK OUT THE TRASH AND HIM TOO! GOOD LUCK SURVIVORS 👍
NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! NO CONTACT! IT DOES WORK!
i hear that! yeah, time away heals!!! slowly, but surely! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so proud of you....I'm counting days too
I did everything blocked on everything and his friends and family
Everyone
Yes! I am the one that got away too. Same as you. And yes. No contact. No contact. No contact. When I left, he would knock on my bedroom window at 2 am at night scaring the sh* out of me. He would knock on my door. I woud let him in. He would say how much he missed me. For weeks. No answer. I would not give him any hooks he could use to hook me in. No answer. No questions from me. No explanations. No discusssions. Nothing. No answer even if he was in front of me. No talking. No conversations. Block all communication. I knew I was fighting for my life. Block them everywhere. This is the only way to escape.
It does work 💪🏽🙌🏽💯
After 23 years of marriage I walked away on January 6th 2023 , on his birthday . He will surely remember me forever . . I spotted him at a cafe recently . He has thinned out and has an empty dead look in his eyes. I started to feel a twinge of sympathy for him then remembered what he did to me . . . I paid my bill n walked out . . .
I believe they do have one that got away but their pride won’t allow them to admit to it! 🥴
😵
They aren’t thaaaaat stupid. Even though they try to fight it .. they know inside themselves
@@MentalHealnessand they still be angry 😡 about things that are ancient history
@@itmebby yea u right but I don't want here ancient history that your holding too not if u want a conversation especially when we have kids one that really needs us and no matter how much I try to bury the something that's really old it's burns me alive
@@MentalHealness so I walk out and end it cause it's things I can't change nor fix and he will forever hate me for it and he is very sick and I only wanted his relationship with his kids before anything happens but neither side is trying and I can't do it all
9:30 "Just because they valued you the most doesn't mean they will treat you any better" - This is a very useful point. Great insight.
i appreciate it
If they didn't treat their Grade A supply correct the first time or the second time, they never will. And like Lee said, if we go back, we might not make it out again. The narc knows we have the ability to leave them so they will make sure to fully destroy us the next chance they get. My health (not wanting to catch STD's and infections) and not knowing what he will try next to hurt me, keeps me away. A relationship starts like a brand new piece of paper but the narc crumples it up. We won't ever be able to make that piece of paper brand new again. We won't ever be able to trust them again. We won't ever feel safe. So there's no point in going back. We already know the way this story goes. Even if the narc says to stop looking in the rear view mirror. If we don't learn the lessons of the past, we are doomed to repeat them.
I had a weird dream the other night.. for some reason me and my narc ex were sitting on the couch..my dad was there too..
I kept saying “when are u gonna hit me again tho??” Like over and over..
and my dad just sat there with a sad look in his eyes.. I had blocked him over a week ago.. and that dream solidified that I shouldn’t unblock him..
Sure enough, narc ex showed up at my house on Friday night.. tryin to “give me money”.. I said “nah, I’m good”.. he got so mad, started screaming and yelling and asking “why I blocked him”.. I said, “maybe you’ll figure it out on your drive home”..
felt great to finally put my foot down..(after 5 years)..
He had no desire to even try to have a conversation.. he just wanted to come over, try and “wooo me” with some money.. and tried to be all nice.. nope.. beat it!! I barely let him inside the door..
(I think he was mad cuz he tried to dress up and look all cutesy for me, and instead of my usual, “oh wow, you look/smell nice” I just said, I’m good, go away.. and shut the door..
screamed and yelled outside my house for like 5-10mins.. then peeled off like an AH.. but wow, it felt great to finally not “give in”..
Sorry for the novel.. but thanks for listening if ya got this far
Very well said. All facts
💯
Wow couldn’t have said it better 💯
Great analogy
They just don't like anyone getting away, even if they are with someone else.
I think this is true. The one that got away? Probably were quite a few that ran for cover before the narc could get too far with the bs. That has to bruise an inflated ego. Such fakery. Can't be bothered. Time to go.
RIGHTTTTTT
People getting away is a loss and they dont like losing
Oh, yes. I believe so. That's why they are always looking for new supply.
Right before the end, she said "I want the old you back" in a couple different ways. It wasnt until i was gone for a month did i realize that she wanted the person who had no boundaries that was easily manipulated. Thanks for spreading awareness brother.
that's what i said to toxic dude BEFORE i realized WHAT i was asking and WHO i was dealing with. i wanted the guy who approached me on day one. didn't know THAT was NOT the REAL him.... PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i've heard this before, but instead of "I want the old you back", it was "i want the soft you back", but it was a situationship at the end of the day LOL.
This ⬆️! I was told “you’ve changed “ and I said “I have, and I’m ok if people don’t like the new me”
I disconnected from my ex-husband 3 years before I physically, left. That's why it was Hella-Easy to leave.😜
🫣🫣
I kicked him out and he literally whispered in my ear on his way out "Im not that easy to get rid off". They know what they are doing and don't care. In no contact right now.
Mine said something similar and many other things of the same nature......Man go that way!!!! If your everything you say you are, you'll have no problem finding someone better than me. 😂Right
No contact and my life is PEACEFUL now.
🙌🏾
It's good to be the one who got away and stayed away for good✌️✌️✌️
‼️‼️
❤❤❤❤❤
Yep - 100%. They fear that you will leave them, but they don't think you ever realllllly will pull the trigger. And then, when you leave them, they take literally years if not decades to get over it, even when they remarry.
smh. sighing deeply. ... ditto my last comment ... sad ...
Yesss they can be moved on new life they be so confused and stuck on you that’s the dangerous part!!!
I got away and I would never want to go back to him. My life has been getting better since I decided enough was enough. I changed my phone number after the last hoovering attempt because I have no interest in talking to him, being cordial, none of that. We have no kids together so I can act like I don’t even know him. 😅😂
There’s always ‘one that gets away’ where a narcissist is concerned. This is why they have to find people in a low vibrational state that are easier to control and keep these victims on standby for when they’re good and ready to bestow their presence on them. If you have self respect, you’re not prepared to drink from the cool aid in which case, you kick them to the curb, erecting boundaries that would make Fort Knox proud, cutting off any avenues back into your presence. Self respect = a narc free life. Do they have regret for the one that got away? Nobody with self love for themselves really cares tbh.
So true, all of it!!! And everything Lee is saying here is true too!! I am so grateful I'm the one that didn't sleep with him, changed my number, blocked him on all social media, and got completely away!!
You wil not get to your full potential in a toxic relationship❤ love this & so true
‼️♥️
Totally!!!! 💯
He already knows he messed up! He knew he was going to mess up before he did it. He knew he wasn’t worthy of me. I’m
Glad he isn’t my headache and draining my energy anymore. He belongs with ghetto and ratchet because he is definitely not on my level in any way.
The don't treat you any better if you go back. Each time you go back they will treat you worse than what they did the last time.
💯💯
The worst is when you are told are just trying to " control " because you express boundaries.
I was told that last week and I live in a new location this week.... deuces!!! I ain't going for no BS...
Omg I used to express my feelings and hear, “you’re trying to control me…” 🤔🤔 like how about I’m trying to be vulnerable in hopes you will understand me and stop hurting me…?🙄
He’s told me on multiple occasions that I’m the one that got away…at first I thought it was because he pursued me for years to no avail. After I gave him a chance and it didn’t work out, he told me again that I was the one that got away…I just thought he meant I was the one to figure him out and he couldn’t lie and manipulate me like he does the others.
UMMMM-HUH!!!!!!! to the last sentence!!!!!
Yes!!! Good on you.
It’s because they didn’t get to break you down or stay with you long enough until the novelty wore off. I had an ex tell me “I just feel like what we have isn’t over” after he ignored my text messages for a day while trying to reconcile. I deleted him because he had already kind of clowned me in the two months we dated before he dumped me and I was heartbroken thinking I was somewhat to blame. He sent me a voice message once I re-added him where he says that and once I went and saw him he was satisfied and went back to mistreating me. They really do just want to get pleasure from messing with and playing with you if you’re still good supply for when they’re lonely or bored. But yeah I got away from him and saw on Spotify he had a playlist for me that is very obviously for me and I am in a sense someone who got away for sure. I think he saved it in case we ever talk again through dating apps where he usually puts me likes because we once made each other playlists smh.
Btw he made this playlist 2 and a half years later/since we’ve spoken ! lol:/
It took me six months to see clearly what I was dealing with; six months longer to totally deflate his ego and then to discard him cordially and peacefully. I allowed him to hoover via casual text with one to two words responses for 18 months more and then went totally no contact. All with never once going back or allowing him to see me, or showing any anger. He is now a basket case. Hopefully, he will tread more gently with the next woman. We are both in our 60's so there you have it. They get worse in their old age. But every once in a while, they choose wrongly.
I was married for 28 years of MISERY!! I thank you for your insight and sensitivity towards victims!! I respect you because you recognize who you are BUT, you are in treatment and understand. Be blessed!!
33 years of miserable marriage here
25 and counting 😢😢😢😢
20 & counting but separated...
Exactly! My ex-narc thought that I would never leave him. I told him that he doesn't believe that fat meat is greasy!! ✌🏾
Eggs aint poultry...grits aint groceries...and Mona Lisa was a man...good luck.big luck...
Eggs ain't poultry...grits ain't groceries...and Mona Lisa was a man. good luck.❤
🙌🏾
The thing is, even if you're squared against the one that got away, don't engage. Stand your ground and refuse to fight. By knowing your self-worth, you will topple that leaderboard.
But don't ever ever go back. As soon as you go back you'll be at the bottom, because they have so much shame regarding themselves that they believe a decent woman wouldn't touch them.
Yes they do. 43 years later and he still sends me friend requests on Facebook. I just keep declining hoping he will get the message it doesn't matter how long it is I still don't want you in my life.
Just block him
Does he have a partner who doesn't realize?
Hopefully, there is no "message." Just stay gone. Grey Rock, No Contact, & BLOCK. It doesn't matter what they think. Keep them far far away from you. You shouldn't be aware of anything that they are saying or doing. It is no longer your business and you shouldn't want it to be. That's the only path to living a narc free life. Good luck.
I appreciate your contribution to my healing. Thanks for not trying to give me hope in a hopeless place, but truth and honesty. Take care of yourself because you're helping so many.😊
I think i was the one... and it is crumbling. It is saddening. I think the A1 supply gets treated the worst because of the trauma bond and because they mean the 'most' to the narc..
Still learning. ❤
Bless you. I am a licensed mental health counselor. Be encouraged. Some healthy minds watch your channel because they want you to teach them how to stay in a toxic relationship. And your haters are made because you are bring full awareness of the games people play. Be encouraged and stay blessed💚💕
The realest, relatable topic on this day. Just got a divorce and " you will never get involved with another man " you ain't going nowhere ", " keep (being intimate)me because at least you know me, his words. I didn't block him. He hurt to know I got the text and or/call and don't care to respond. Not worried, divinely protected. Karma got him.😂😂
Some of them end your life on the one year anniversary of when the divorce was final. Be careful
UNH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "divinely protected." YOU BETTER KNOW THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (made me think of H. Walker's "God Favored Me." 'bout to loop it!!!!)
"DIVINELY PROTECTED!!!!!"
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After dealing with the ex narc 15 yrs off and on I LEFT NEVER 2 RETURN!!! I GOT AWAY!!!
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"We escaped each other."🤣🥰
I talked to him so bad told him to block me got tired and snapped on him
😂😂
I'm done 😂 You are so right Why does he keep the smear campaign going so long
They still hurt
No kidding! Literally a year and a half of this nonsense!
respectfully, Ms.Tanisha...just focus on you, your healing, your rising. YOUR PROGRESS will eventually disprove whatever lies are being told about you...by a fool!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!
My guy got so far in my head, he didn't have to run game. I was like a dog waiting at the door with my tail wagging.
😫
Respect to you for being so brutally honest with yourself,that takes strength 👋
My narc ex always told me how he didn’t speak to me like he did his other exs because he “respected me”. All while he’s screaming at me 😂 but I’m the one who got away. He only dated bums and being with me fed his narcissistic mind. I had a lifestyle that made him feel important and he enjoyed the attention he was getting. A good looking man, nice house, nice car, good money, great friends etc. everything he didn’t have. He was definitely extremely jealous and resentful. It’s been
Over two years and some how he’s still telling people
Im the cause of his all his problems..😂
Yes emotionally disconnecting from him. That's me.
stay strong
I think it is much more common that narcs trianglate & let their partner know that this other one is somebody who's interested in the narc oh the old exes are still interested in the narc
My Narc Ex once said that her Ex retweeted a post on Twitter that was talking about personality over looks and she felt bad thinking her personality was never good.
I reassured her but I also asked why/when and how she knows he retweeted that post? Because she always said she never cared about him anymore...
I never got a clear answer.
But at one point she said her Ex doesn't even use twitter 😕 nothing she said ever added up and that was the same Ex she would bring up often or compare me to a lot also.
I work with my narc ex. Literally left and blocked him 32 days ago. I still see him. He has new supply (another coworker), and he tries to keep a “living the best life face” while he smears and isolates me from my coworkers. It’s hard but I am trying to take it day by day. But I have never reached out to him, and I left him as soon as I caught him cheating. He didn’t expect me to leave so abruptly. I know for a fact he got a narcissistic injury. He hates me currently and blocked me too (I know because of work stuff). I don’t know if he’s obsessed, but I am truly afraid of him hurting me/my career.
Update: He never blocked me, he just ignored me lol even about work related things. It’s been almost a month since I reached out to him about work stuff, I just try to get things done around him. Yes, I am laying in the bed I made. This was such a big lesson for me. I do not ever want to go back. But I am just observing him. He’s either reverse hoovering me right now with the silent treatment, or he has permanently discarded me. Either way, I feel so much more at peace without him and I am doing my best to avoid the flying monkeys!
It depends on the people... If you are strong and really love yourself you will get away. It is a hard way (because you really loved that person) but you will manage with time. Give it time to heal but you have to realize that you have to love yourself more and that person has issues (I call it that way). You can´t and will never change a person who doesn´t want to. It is hard for people who are empaths but you just can´t help someone who doesn´t want help... BUT: Yes people can get away - I am just sure of that.
i'm a hyper-empath. but to quote another on this page: "DIVINELY PROTECTED!!" stepped back within 3 weeks! VERY PAINFUL!!!!!! VERY!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT i kept telling myself, and still do, EXACTLY what you wrote about LOVING ME more than i'll EVER love or think i love ANY male, ANY, narcissist or not!!!! (honestly, i actually wrote a poem about THAT FACT this morning. gonna upload it...soon...) unh-unh: I LOVE ME, TRULY!!! and i'm fully grown and fully aware of exactly what you wrote: "YOU CAN'T AND WILL NEVER CHANGE A PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT TO!!!!!" damn, i REALLY wanted to love that boy!!!! I'M THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY because he basically LOST a winning lottery jackpot ticket!!!!! PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got out in 9 weeks. It was/is painful.
@@lilyluxuria2871 All the best for you healing... It will get better with time. Just focus on your life-goals...
I’m was told I was the one who got away , and I have been in this up and down rollercoaster for 9 years and tomorrow I’m done I’m leaving and No I’m not telling him that I’m leaving .
@@regina9894 Be careful. Be safe. Sending you positive energy & good vibes. God bless you. 🙏🏼
If you are there favorite then you are the one that got away. Do not expect them back, be strong you got this, and set boundaries, be form, and stay firm what you do or say. If they act crazy document and here come the cops next.
I REALLY needed this, seriously! Especially around the 10 minute mark. 😢
♥️
Valued most. For all the wrong reasons. NO CONTACT REMEMBER WHY YOU LEFT!
I dated my ex briefly the first time 18yrs ago. We reconnected and had a 4 year relationship. I didn't know he was a covert narcissist until near the end. He really didn't think I was going to get away this time. He tore me down to almost nothing, but he would have been happy to keep me around forever. He underestimated my strength throughout the entire relationship. I finally had to go no contact to survive. He hasn't tried to hoover directly, but he continues to contact his non biological children. He really thinks I'm going to let him in my life in any way. That's a big no. He flat out told my adult son that he went to therapy recently & they confirmed he's not a narcissist 🙄 Either way, he's an emotional abuser.
NPD has to by diagnosed by a psychologist and over several sessions. Narcissist = liar
Hello I’m 62 I got away so fast didn’t look bk three weeks today yeahhhhhh💪🏽🙏
I am sooooo agree with you .... After 4 years .... he still stalk me on social media , call and messages me from fake numbers . I moved out from another country far away and I know every time when he is in back of all this ... Thanks for confirmation
I been watching alot of your videos 24/7 and providing education on narcissist topic
My ex attached to his exes son who isn't his but he's been there since he's been born. He lied to me saying the boy was his and the mother abandoned him for drugs. He said he was going to get custody of the boy and never did anything. Just leeched off everyone with lies. I learned he really hated me and was jealous of me. I was warring with him for almost two years. I left him alone and it's been peaceful. He has been at my door crying and lying. I actually hate him and have no more compassion for him.
Great video …. Very helpful.
I definitely “got away” too soon. I’m hoping that he will leave me alone … it’s been 3 months of no contact. He abruptly discarded me before he was ready … cause I “saw his behavior patterns” and called him out … he immediately ended the relationship.
He never got the chance to fully devalue me.
I got out 🏃
You know your shit man!! Straight facts. Its amazing how your'e self diagnosed.
I got diagnosed by a therapist. Im self aware
I got away from my narc husband because he treated me horrible and was planning to kill me, because he didn't need me anymore because I had already made him rich, he got very drunk and told me how he planned to finish my life, he tried to hoover me back and marry me again until he died, I knew that if I go back he would kill me 💯. I got out and stayed out . Of course, I was the love of his life and yet he was going to kill me. Thanks for the video.
You r so spot on. I tell my son in law that my daughter is one. I know how he feels. I told him to leave but he won't.
Yep, and it was me! She’s had a thing for me since 1999 and we’ve gone back & forth for years but just because I will most likely be “The One” doesn’t mean she didn’t treat me the worst. I also had a very long lovebombing stage but still not tolerating her abuse and left in November finally, for good. I’m guessing my ex will end up settling later in life.
Yeah the settling hurts their future family
The person I was in a relationship who had narcissistic traits claimed that he had several "ones that got away". Which I read as he pushed them away with his bad behaviour. He was exhausting to be with. I had to see him recently (I had no choice) and he told me he currently has a "good partner". I started at him blankly, and at that point I told him I had to go home. A good partner? He has had several and they all told him to get the hell out of his life. When I left he was in denial. I believe his current partner was around when he was still texting me, trying to engage, and telling me he was still in love with me. He is definitely not the one that got away for me. I realized he would never change and that his life is such a mess. I have a great life and I would not ruin it for him. I'm so glad I'm away from him. I'm healing and will continue for a while. I have no desire to be in a relationship until I feel certain that I will never chose a man like my ex ever again.
I want to be the one who gets away from them! 😅
🙏
Thank you so much for this Lee. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this.
You are so welcome
I also was one who got away from my baby daddy he had a nervous breakdown and showed up at my job and tried to come back not in this life time
On the first date.
I was told about the x. Thank you so much for the Information.
I love that Kane Brown song called Heaven. I actually felt that way with the narc and sent the song to him. But good times in bed aren't worth being used, drained, talked crap about, cheated on, and never knowing what he will do next. Sadly I've been celibate ever since because it'll be hard to find that heaven again. Lol.
Amazing song
I am thriving! Thank you, Lee
You got this!
I think what you’re doing is so powerful and I know I can speak for most of us here when I say “thank you” for helping many of us with your testimony and advice. Blessings and light on your continued journey of self awareness and teaching others.
You’re so cool. Been through it all in my past with narcissists. To hear it directly from a diagnosed narcissist is nothing short of amazing.
Yes! I'm in a relationship now with one who I was the one who got away a 20 years ago. He even married twice, and I was the one who "got away". We are dating now and I'm recognizing his behaviors as a narcissist, and because I do love him and believes he loves me how he can, I'm learning how to manage the difficulties in our relationship in a way that is good for both of us. This has been so informational AND, yes, I can totally relate to this. He sometimes is angry with me that I didn't leave my relationship of that time, to be with him. I'm always trying to explain to him that I recognized back then that a relationship between us would have been difficult, and I didn't have the maturity back then, that I have now. The struggle is real, but at this point, he does sometimes show awareness of his behavior and I have the ability to step back, recognize his behaviors as what they really are and respond in a healthy way. Thank you for your videos because they do give me hope that he can improve, with the right supports and him wanting to (and he does) Your videos also explain his behaviors and give me insight in how to respond. You are a hero!
You are God sent! Thank you for reminding...
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I'm EMPOWERED and Thank you for providing the information.
💪🏽💪🏽
Must disappear and heal you we are big hearted and know our worth run 🏃♀️ ❤❤❤
The way his flabbers were ghasted when I went away, stayed away, and moved on. Each step somehow shocked him.
Yes they do and sometimes they have let him or her get away , get away from TRUE learning selfhelp healing, that really showed you how much they love you, and making the choices to run away from TRUE freedom from the worst enemy you have , and that's yourself, for those who don't know
30 years later and my 1st husband still is trying to stay in contact. Even after he stalked me and it's only because I've been watched over that I'm still here.
Hi, thanks for even sharing, (and this is a little off topic) but not to be prejudice but as a 33 year old black woman, this makes me feel better that not only a black man that sounds to be American like myself, but have this diagnosis overall. I haven't been officially diagnosed yet, but I was honestly thinking of not pursuing college because of the guilt of my potential disorder and also not continuing a relationship with my partner due to me feeling like I would be a burden to his life. So this is motivating in a sense that I'm not alone. Thank you very much for sharing.
excellent ending. You are correct...there is no way to self-actualize dealing with toxic relationships at all. glad I woke up
I was emotionally disconnected while planning my exit. I let him talk , project , lie , & cheat on himself & deflect. He pulled the trigger on himself. We must know ourselves truly . When you do youll know your worth . Leave .
That’s my ex girlfriend… she literally had a baby with someone else and still 7 years later she still obsessed with me. She sabotaged her relationship and now she’s not with that guy… she’s a mess, she even named her kid after my nickname
This my exact situation 😭😭😭 he had a baby and still obsessed won’t leave it’s crazy and annoying and dangerous!!!
I’m the one that got away. It’s been almost 4 years now. He’s posting about me on his socials and calling me a narcissist. I only look a few times per year when I’m feeling sad and curious.
I’m actually grateful for our relationship because as terrible as it was, it was my wake-up call.
Now being the one that got away gives me a some pride and feeds my ego. As much as I try to release my ego, I’m still only human and it feels good knowing that I was the best he’ll ever have!
YES!!!! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! to answer the question! HE HIT THE JACKPOT AND DIDN'T KNOW OR CARE ... i literally just said THAT FACT within the last 24 hours!!!!
got away.
need to stay away, at least physically 'cause i'm STILL thinking about dude!
get out of my head HAMMOCK!!!!!!! can't tell you how many times i've been...thinking...and logged on and there's a video about...my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!! too synchronistic!!!!
Yep!! Same!!
🙏
huh, the person that i had always thought of as the one that away, turned out to be a narcissist. and the reason why i felt this way was because of the love bombing and then, nothing.
he used to tell me "I know you gonna run away from me like the others" and I never understood why he would say that. so I think he was used to women abandoning him, not the other way around. that was probably his way of doing things, so he could hoover them easily when the time comes.
🙌🏾
The churches need to learn about all of this and do a better job of preparing the congregation before marriage and after. I've been feeling like my life is disposable and appreciate how on spot your insight is, and when you said everyone wants to go to heaven but live a good life while you're here.
Survivor here. I lived this with my ex husband for 20 years. I didn't realize he was a narcissist until I was older. My ex husband and I have been together since we were 17. In Hines sight this relationship was over 13 years ago.I just didn’t know what I was dealing with or how to get out. God saved me and didn’t allow me to loose my mind.
Now it makes sense.He admitted to looking for his "ex" after we had been married for years. He said he was hoping to find her miserable and that bad things had happened to her.( terrible things to admit)
Then I found out his ex was a woman that he had known for 2 weeks. He love bombed her and put her down in conversations, made friends with her mom whom she didnt get along with.
Hes still hung up on her.
Hey Lee!! I love all of your videos!! You have helped me tremendously in my healing process from my narcissistic relationship. I felt so alone until I started watching your videos. Just to know that my ex was and still is always chasing his kids Mother let’s me know that Im not crazy. I told him when we were together that it bothered him if she had a boyfriend or if he was not her focus. He swore up and down that he was done with her romantically, but my instinct was telling me different and I seen signs of him still loving her and love bombing her. She was his ONE that got away. Thank you for helping me heal Lee!! Your videos are super powerful to me!!! Nothing but Love to You and Your Family!!!!🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Its exactly right the mind feckers! They hate you but wont f off!!? nah and he really in fact does think I will always be there for him. "Getting away emotionally" is everything. Lee helped me so much Dr. Ramani just to name a few greats! Appreciate yall😊
My ex narcissist cheated on me then discarded me but when he sees me he tells me he loves me,he misses our family,im a great woman, and he hasnt forgotten that about me and I just ignore him and he is with someone else it’s been 5 months and im loving my peace and my healing I will never go back period
If they're lucky they got away.
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Figured out my current husband is a narc *after* we got married. The first few years of being together, we had roommates, meaning he behaved very well. Then they moved out, and the pandemic hit. We grew a deep trauma bond as we went thru covid together. We eventually had some time apart, and I should've seem the signs, but things didn't get really bad til after the wedding. I know I'm not his first choice, and he knows he's not my first choice. I may leave someday, but for now, I'm learning to cope and to get whatever I can out of this situation.
Best wishes to all
Thank you for your posts!
I was discarded 7 weeks ago; he got mad because he ghosted me and i just let it be. When he came back, I told him I had another friend, then he discarded me. This has left me so confused; I guess I'm the one that got away.
Narcissism is so misunderstood actually no one should be allowed to capitalize on it not a doctor or a self-proclaimed
ok
I hope I never eva meet another narcissist. I am so thankful for all the videos and information y'all putting out cause I understand what happened so clearly and working on me and therapy and no contact with dude cause he broke my ass down to I was gutteral crying . Nope not breaking the nc having your emotions played with is sick
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This is so spot on. I’m going through this now.
I left kids daddy yesrs ago to this day he will tell me i lost the best thing when I had u. And have to remind him thats been a long time ago buddy im different woman now. Not that little girl he remembers
No, no, I could never go back
I have experienced so much of what you are talking about. They have gotten married. However, I receive random "hello" texts and check my cameras from time to time because I know how they have been in the past.
When I left he said mentally it didn't make sense he thought I wasn't going to leave him alone
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If you have identified your narc relationship, plz leave🙏
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I just wanna take the time to comment to let people know that being "the one" IS NOT a good thing. I am the one who got away for my ex and he won't STOP TRYING. I am married to someone else and he has a gf that mutual friends know. It never ends! If I didn't share a child with them, I'd go no contact. We have an OP and it's still not enough for him to get it!!
Nothing more fun that two narcissists trying to make it work! Mine married someone else and I have a long term relationship. “We escaped each other” is an understatement.
I’ll say it for you. LEAVE!! Lee has educated folks too much for there to be any confusion on what you will eventually have to do to stay safe and sane. How many times has he said just because they love you doesn’t mean they will treat you well? Come on people! Lol
Tell them No, that's not true, maintain your frame, and watch how they react.
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Thank you for providing me with the knowledge i needed. it’s given me answers on things i didn’t un dealing with my first (and last) narcissist ❤