Wife Leaves Letter Implicating Husband in Her Murder | Sandra Duyst Case Analysis
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
- This video answers the question: Can I analyze the case of Sandra Duyst?
Support Dr. Grande on Patreon: / drgrande
Subscribe to the Bella Grande Media Podcast: / @bellagrandemedia
Dr. Grande’s book Harm Reduction:
www.amazon.com...
Dr. Grande's book Psychology of Notorious Serial Killers: www.amazon.com...
Check out Dr. Grande’s merchandise at: teespring.com/...
References:
www.govinfo.go...
So if you find yourself thinking "I should leave a note in case my spouse kills me" .. it's probably time to end that relationship, fast.
Murder also taints that perfect family image.
Laughing (horrify sad, but yea still humorous) at the last sentence of your comment.
Yes. First and foremost leave.
I've done it before when I knew I was going to be around him in a semi isolated location. A letter alone isn't enough but it can get the ball rolling.
@@clootscalhoun9481 got to keep the humor, even in death.. especially in death.
And also make sure your spouse knows you told ppl that if you die look at him,maybe he will think twice knowing ppl will know
Sandra literally solved her own murder posthumously for the police.
Someone had to! Lol
Like a boss.
@@fludderkiddie 8
Yùuyýýýýyuoi9
"Literally." Nice one!
Bless her heart. Not only did she die at her husbands hands but she also lived in fear of him. I’m glad that justice was served. Hopefully she is at peace now
So heartbreaking.
And the ones to come, amen.
I can imagine that being attacked by her husband in the barn would lead to symptoms of depression and a personality change.
Yeah, it was probably also a head injury, but good point
Right.
Between that betrayal, and what was likely a traumatic brain injury.. nobody would be ok after that...
@@AMM3. but have to live with it anyway. Good grief.
That was exactly what I thought. My husband trying to kill me would depress me
Well, of course, there's always a secretary in the midst of a murder case. And there's that insurance payout that comes in so handy!
Yeah! No matter how many times this happens, criminals do not get the picture!
Yeah, I'd like to see Perry Mason play this one out in a court of law. Storyline is as old as dirt. And predictable. Perry Mason was logical with a twist at the end. I miss some of the old time, black and white tv productions.
l
I watched enough true crime to know by now that a mix of love affairs, insurance policies and ultimatums never end well.
Don’t forgot to add sociopathy to the recipe!
Bc the spouse that chooses this marital option is highly likely to be morality free.
And financial problems
No kidding ! It’s the exact same story but different people. You would think by now that any woman would refuse for her husband to have a policy on her, Especially if he is the bread winner. If she’s the bread winner then definitely not. You want to be worth more alive than dead.
YES! was having same thought
😂
“Not being killed in the first place is always the better strategy.”
Amen, Dr. Grande. Amen.
Nothing says marriage material like cheating on your wife. Couldn't have said it better myself. This was a fascinating story. Thank you for sharing this story and your thoughts.
@Sharon Wilfong Yes, I loved that! I wish more women realized that!
@@RSZ229 AND MEN.
RIGHT?! Infidelity/adultery is so destructive and downright disgusting! It always leads to death!
@@lf9341 Yeah, I was going to put men, too. Don't know why I didn't. My bad.
@@jessitabonita I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic.
Don't know if it's an analysis of murder and mahem, but I do know I will sleep peacefully after listening to Dr. Grande's soothing voice.🍀🍀🍀🍀
As will I, friend. It's one hell of a phenomenon.
Right
I'll have Dr. Grande's video on as "background music/noise" when doing other stuff, not necessarily listening to the words & following the narrative, just being soothed by the voice :)
Yeah!
Dr Grande would kill it if he did asmr
This whole video you put together was so incredibly fascinating, and very sad!
It always makes me laugh when you go on a little rant about the ridiculousness of the Lie Detector test! 😅
Also had to laugh when you said ""I guess she was excited at the prospect of being with a man who cheats on his wife. Nothing says marriage material more than that."
Thank you again for your exceptional work, Dr. Grande!! ♡♡
IKR, his last video had a [lie-detector] vendetta in it too, hahaha.🤣
@@rullmourn1142 I noticed that too! 🤣
travel you would think so, but it works out for many women, including my stepmother.
@@enjoyslearningandtravel7957 your TH-cam name is endearing, though I wonder why you capitalized "And" and not "travel".... the name was taken?
Crazy buffons. Folks are arrogant enough to murder their spouses and actually believe it will be a happy ever after. Hideous😕 😡😎
It is so sad that money means more to some people than the life of another. And that these spousal killers never think of the great harm they do to their children by killing a loving parent.
It's not that hard to understand. You don't value them so they don't care if your existence has ceased.
@@TILLEYJS i beg to differ. It is difficult for me to comprehend the mindset of someone with no empathy, cognitive or otherwise. Having empathy myself, I cannot imagine someone not having any. Personality Disorders perplex me. From what I have come to understand, most are “unnurtured” into developing a Personality Disorder. If so, what happened to the empathy they were born with before the development of the disorder? The entire concept, including the potential of developing cognitive empathy through professional help, begs the question of where the congenital empathy met its demise.
@@susan7090 uh huh. Sure sure. You can think about where your murderer is coming from as they're shooting you in the face.
Dexter the horse might not have tried to kill her, but her husband sure does sound like a thoroughbred nightmare 🤔
Hi, everyone!
I'm watching Dr. Todd Grande from Brazil.
I love his videos.
It's 02:03 am in my country.
Yikes!!
Haha I'm in North Canada.. it's 2:15 am here too 😂
Same time... Different weather I imagine lol
I'm in Kentucky💕🇺🇲
*12:24 AM Cheers from Cancún.*
🍹🏝️🤘🏽💜😷
In New York 2:13 AM here as well.
"not getting killed in the first place is a better strategy" - Dr. Grande, 2022
Remember, Grean River Killer passed the lie detector test & knew where the bodies were, so what lie detector measured was his 100% lack of emotions about his murders.
It didn't measure anything.
the fact that gary ridgeway passed one is why i would never undergo one. the guilty can pass and the innocent can fail them.
Right and also people that have bad anxiety and has shit luck could fail it though they were truthful
@@billieyoung1729 yes i agree. i hope i never find myself in such a situation but if i do, no polygraph and no questions without consulting an attorney.
There aren’t many people who can say “blood splatter” and still keep me relaxed like you do, Dr. Soothing and funny, too!
Spatter, no "L"
@@jamesparlane9289 really? I’ve been using the wrong word in my diary for 51 years. Thanks!
I'm only speculating. But I'd say that's his low neuroticism
@@chakkakon How many killings are noted?
@@chakkakon Just looked it up. Splatter = covering with thick viscous substance eg. mud. Spatter= droplets of something eg. blood.
If ever you feel the need to write a letter like that, maybe it's time leave with no forwarding address.
He probably used all of the abuser tactics to make her stay... threaten more violence, threaten to take full custody of the kids, threaten to hurt people close to her, leave her penniless, etc..
By the sound of her note, he may have also said to her, "I can kill you & make it look like a suicide." 😢
Chilling case very sad. It's amazing how many husbands kill their wives instead of choose to divorce even though most get caught. I would choose to loose everything in a divorce and have to start over again than risk my life to die locked up in prison.
Facts. Like what is more important than freedom?
I agree with you. I said the same thing to a friend of mine and his response was, “we only know about the ones that get caught.” More probably get caught today, but years ago I think a lot of people got away with it.
There’s no way of knowing that “most get caught” bc we’ll never hear of most of those. Chilling realization for me.
And a lot of women kill their spouses to, not as many as men though.
It’s often a sociopath that chooses to kill their spouse - they tend to believe they can easily outsmart everyone - that’s why so many of these cases are mystifying as in “What were they thinking?”
She probably would not have divorced him.
Or don’t marry someone with a background pattern of instability.
Being beaten in the barn was obviously traumatizing for Sandra, but also for her horse Dexter. It seems like someone could have determined if the injury was really from her horse.
the dr. never bought that story
@@maryannenizio5074 why didn’t anyone listen to him?
@@maryannenizio5074 really? I had never heard that
Someone should have analyzed the horse dabs or hoof prints, or horse DNA on the weapon to find a match? Lets face it horses don't murder people, people do and the occasional lion or tiger. But horses get a pass.
@@isabellavalencia8026 I heard it on a video I watched on the crime
An equestrian that has her own horse has enough experience to know how to be around them without getting kicked in the head. Also, rarely do you survive this kind of accident. I’ve only met one person in my entire riding career who got kicked in the head by her horse, let alone surviving it. My heart goes out to Sandra’s loved ones..this crime is so tragic..
That's like saying anyone who drives for a living would never crash.
@@eadweard. i’m not saying it never happens. it’s just rare.
No comment!😎
@@existenceispainforameeseeks vehicles rarely run over their drivers, too 😊
My friend was kicked in the nuts by a horse and was never the same again. His health quickly deteriorated and he died young. His health was 100% fine before the kick
This man is intelligent and charismatic, I just can't stop watching his channel. God bless you Dr.
Not charismatic but definitely droll and entertaining
Trustworthy, moral, conscientious, well-spoken, intelligent and politically reasonable! Perfect!💎
@@TheDramacist A matter of opinion. I find Dr. Grande quite charismatic. ❤️
Hi Dr. Grande. In my opinion, he was a loser. Anyone who thinks this guy is intelligent is very mistaken because he should've divorced her if he wasn't happy in his marriage, that would've been smart. Just goes to show how cra-cra this situation is. Thanks again for informtive analysis Dr. G, Peace and love, Janine Smiley😀🙂😎🤩😍
@@TheDramacist My girlfriend complains about his voice when I listen to him. She's a psychology major getting her masters so I just laugh to myself about it.
“Nothing says marriage material better than a man who cheats on his wife.”
Gotta laugh out loud at this and your follow-up Dr. Grande! Thanks a bunch.
Some women believe that they are somehow different (read sexier!) than the wife. But it's the husband's character that stays the same!
Dr. Grande is now part of my night routine, I often fall asleep listening to his voice. 🥰
omg same haha :))
I'm not diagnosing this dream only speculating what is going on in a dream like this.
Dr Grande your voice and choice of roast lines are all therapeutic 💆🏻♂️
I finally found the common denominator.
"Perfect Family".
That seems to be a common thread in a lot of your videos.
We all know there are no perfect families.
Always interesting.
Thank you.
Peace 💕🇺🇲
Or someone who lived in a tightknit community...
Or had no enemies!
Always enjoy your videos. In this case, it might be or feel very hard to leave a marriage, with children involved. Not only appearances, but feeling helpless and dependent, and even fearful of leaving an abuser. As a lifelong equestrian, it is highly unlikely, virtually impossible, that her horse kicked her, especially that it would land a blow on her head inside the confined space of a stall or even barn. I believe her letter completely. So very sad.
1.) The Dr. who treated her after the barn incident stated the wounds were NOT consistent with a horse kick.
The wounds were smaller and there were several of them.
2.) Wish you had explored further the interesting aspect of why someone would stay in this situation.
Most women in a relationship with a man who has attacked them strongly feel leaving them would trigger an escalation - as it so often does esp. with psychopaths.
Also leaving takes strength and how strong are you feeling after an axe attack?
Not to mention the cognitive dissonance that might occur after such an attack.
I can agree with this. I think the analysis could’ve gone a bit deeper here and explored a bit more. 🙏🏻
Thanks, because I was curious if there had been a clearer story behind her wounds in the barn.
@@bascha4098 You bet. That’s from the “Murder She Wrote” episode of Forensic Files.
I’m sure she was also scared for her children. Contrary to popular belief, family court isn’t exactly kind to domestic violence victims when it comes to custody issues.
@@Rainbowcreamsoda Didn’t even think of that, but I would be worried for the kids too.
"I guess she was excited at the prospect of being with a man who cheats on his wife". 🤣
No mention of the affair in the letter. I am guessing the wife found out about the 10 year affair and confronted the husband in 1998, tried to kill her. Sorry for the children lost both parents.🙏
Hey Doc, you're like a modern day psychological Sherlock Holmes! Great insights and detective work. Your videos are amazing. Good job🙂
That "...write the word 'lying' on a piece of paper, fold it, and unfold it at the right time" line had me LOL!
That's the concept of polygraph tests in a nutshell. I wish more people would spread the truth about how worthless they are. There is no such thing as a machine that can detect lies. If there really was such a machine, can you imagine how that might change the whole world as we now know it?
His humour in this one was on a new level. Had me laughing out loud several times. Dr. Grande is a staple to be included in my every day!
I think she kept it secret because how do her children process that their father tried to kill their mother *so* brutally? The thought had to be overwhelming to her. Also, she may have been trying to wait until the kids finished school (worried about lifestyle/financial implications of divorce). 😢
@@polarbearsrus6980 Exactly - I'm convinced he tried to kill her before, and she was afraid of him and hoped the letter and her knowledge of his deed might be enough to prevent another attempt! It reminds me of battered women staying with their abusive partner in order to "protect the kids, protect their family/loved ones and protect themselves" It's completely wrong, in fact they endanger them as much as if they leave, yet they almost all do it for way too long
I loved the last line, yes "getting justice is important, but not being killed in the first place" is indeed a good idea. Another great and insightful video! You continue to give keen and amusing commentary of otherwise tragic events and people, which creates great content. I always try and tune in when you put out a video. Thanks!
It makes me even angrier that he did this while her (and his...) children were in the house.
It is a very good thing the autopsy happened.
Watching from the Philippines! Love Dr. Todd Grande videos...always. Thank you.
That was an awesome analysis as always. Thank you so much Dr Grande
I loved your comments about people wanting a 'perfect family' 👍
Still shocks me how much police use and rely on those "lie detector" machines, its appalling.
@@enjoyslearningandtravel7957 that’s insane! For a job? Wow
@Enjoys Learning And travel - that certainly sounds believable
@@enjoyslearningandtravel7957 I have heard about that. You may enjoy a specific video by Matt Orchard called the lies of the polygraph, does a great history of how it was used initially widespread and how it became so prevalent in police work
@@enjoyslearningandtravel7957 I quit a fast food job in 1972 when they announced because of cash register thefts they were going to have us all undergo them. When I resigned and they asked why I told them I was a high school student and didn’t want any part of it. He told me my drawer was never off and they knew it wasn’t me but they had to do everyone. They found the guy by watching from the lot across the street. Found out from my friends who stayed.
This is one of the best TH-cam channels. Thanks for all the amazing content
You are hitting all of the good cases from Forensic Files. And you give more insight into the cases as well. Well done, Dr. Grande!
Would you please consider doing a video on the Mandela Effect and what in the world is going on when a lot of people remember things a different way and others say that never happened. Thank you
The analysis is more intriguing as always,
Thank you, Dr. Grande.
The hilarious verbal bludgeoning given to the efficacy of lie detector tests was the best yet. Just as I'm chuckling at the red light analogy you drop in the folded paper line, I can't breathe for laughing. Just what I needed on an otherwise dreary morning.
Brilliant analysis Dr Grande, I believe he killed her, for his mistress and money. Sandra was a smart woman too leave a note to implicate , her husband, for her homicide. Thank you Dr Grande. Awesome analysis and sad topic.
Smart enough to leave a note.. the smarter choice would be to leave the man. So sad
@@AMM3. I agree but there is the possibility she also feared for her children?????
@@AMM3. the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they leave.
@@Mama_Bear524 that's very true but as in this case, it's still usually safer than staying
1:20AM in Ontario, Canada. Thanks for another great video Dr. G❤️🫂
Don’t you just love it when Dr Grande says “please like it”.. 🙈😂😍
a get out of jail cupon would have been more appropriate! you nailed the humour once again! you never disappoint!!
It's terrible Sandra was going through Abuse!! But it was Brilliant to write, and hide that letter! Rest In Peace Sandra 💔💔🙏🙏🕊️🕊️
The stories people make up to cover their tracks never cease to amaze me. Lovely shirt. Thanks Dr G😊💖💖
Nice to see you still going strong Dr., congratulations on 1M! I believe I saw this story on Dateline, 48 hours or one of those classic vintage shows back in the 90s..ty!👍💛
Dateline & 48 hours are still on with new episodes. People always killing someone.
Thank you for speaking about the reality of lie detector tests, and the manipulative, even dishonest manner in which they are used. That poor woman. The fear and anxiety she spent her last days in must have been it's own level of hell. But, the strength and courage it took to write that letter is astounding. May her soul be free and at peace.
I have so many videos to catch up on of yours, Dr. Grande, and I couldn't be happier about that! I hate that I've missed your videos for almost two weeks, but wow, you've been a busy man pumping out such great topics! Thank you for all of your hard work. We appreciate you! ♥️
These people who leave letters like that or say their SO is going to kill them make me so sad. They know whst will happen but its like they jave given up on life.
I am really enjoying this channel!! Deadpan jokes are my favorite so far, I laugh so hard! Bravo Doctor!
That is an excellent idea about the letters! Fantastic analysis, Dr. Grande! ❤️
This is so sad. She was probably worried about the consequences of reporting him or leaving. As someone who knows how it is first hand it’s overwhelming and scary. You worry about every little prospect of leaving and most of all how the person will react once you make a move. You don’t want it to get worse and you’re happy for any momentary peace.
Yes, exactly. She was scared of him and wanted to sweep the incident under the carpet.
Dr Grande just an FYI in this video the audio seems to have an issue where every time you talk there is a bit of a buzz in the background. Something seems wrong with the mic. Love the videos!
Love your work, and your sense of humour. Very clever and informative. I enjoy everything you do. Thank you for your hard work and constantly new posts
quality content, thank you for your awesome work
That was most intriguing.
I hope you& your family have a lovely evening.
PS : it’s raining here in California! Finally!
Can you do the show sister wives please
Wow man congrats on 1 million subscribers! That’s incredible. I just love your videos and you always make me giggle at least once during the video ;)
“Not being killed in the first place is always a better strategy.” 😂😂😂
It's creepy not knowing the truth even after her death.
You're brilliant and hilarious, Dr Grande. Thank you for sharing your fascinating and entertaining analyses.
I can only imagine how much work goes into producing them, too.
So thanks, thanks, and ever thanks!
Good evening everyone.
It was clearly suicide. She stabbed herself in the back...... 19 times. (A different case.)
if the only way a woman can leave is broke, it is a lot harder to do so. housing subsidies should be readily available to everyone needing them. maybe with a five year limit. the type of group housing available to a woman leaving an abuser is enough to send her running back to him.
The guy is great. Even though this is a serious/tragic crime he manages to make us laugh a little. I enjoy listening to his professional take on various people and crimes.
LOL. There you go. When the lie detector shows that you are innocent the police suddenly starts to have doubts. LOL. What a laugh. Excellent presentation Dr. Grande, thank you for this!
So enjoyable, thank you Dr. Grande!
I love your sense of humour and calm voice
“I guess she was excited at the prospect of being with a man that cheats on his wife. Nothing says marriage material more than that.” 😂 Love your humor, Dr. Grande, and love how you say it with a straight face.
Good episode Doctor. Keep up the great work.
As we all know, relationships are so complex in every aspect. You could be sleeping with enemies. I thought I met a man of integrity; a most caring, honest, and responsible man with strong work ethics and married him 22 years ago. It turned out extremely disastrous, and I couldn’t trust myself of making a right judgment anymore. So I decided to remain single. One thing I trust myself is the decision I made 18 years ago.
Ditto.
Really interesting episode! Thanks!
The guy must be kind of a psycho, he must have been so relaxed after the murder that convinced the police and could pass a lie detector because of the false belief that a relaxed person is not guilty, when it's just a rarer personality trait.
You cannot pass or fail such a test.
Always interesting
Thank you ❤
Great analysis as usual, thanks Dr. Grande.❤️
Hello my friend, how are you going? 😜❤💙
@@cottontails9003 Hi there!😃 I am doing good, how about you and the baby?🥰
@@rejaneoliveira5019 Thank you Rejane, we are both healthy.
Perfect sense of humor, Dr. Grande!
Why would he give them the clothes he was wearing? He certainly had other clothes he could have handed over that didn't have blood on them. It's so easy to catch the stupid ones.
The police saw him the night of the murder. Perhaps they were very distinctive clothes and he didn’t have anything similar to give them? Or he’s just dumb :)
He probably thought he washed them or that they wouldn't waste resources to test them since he was so cooperative.
Thanks Dr Grande, my teeth are killing me and your smooth story tell kept me from smashing my head into the wall Dyatlov pass style for a few minutes.
Best voice,best stories and that is a perfect color of shirt for your completion!
Many depressed people don’t care if they live or die and the thought of her having to leave her husband and start over may have been too overwhelming for her to deal with so it was just easier to just keep on the way things were.
HI DR.GRANDE!!! 🥰
Love your videos. Smart, to the point, educational and great humour!
That was excellent, doc. 👍
Your idea at the end reminds me of the tv show "YOU", where the therapist told 2 married serial killers (ofc she did not know at the time) that their relationship is fixable, it was not like they were murderers :).
He did a video on that show, and pronounced it really strangely.
@@eadweard. yes, it was about the first 2 seasons, now it's at the third, I would really like an update.
I made it early! Thank you, as always, Dr. Grande!
I am from GR and never knew this happened! I was a kid though, so I’m sure that was by design. I like your idea about the notes, Dr. G. I can see your next book-Harm Prevention: A wife. A husband. A mistress. The note…that binds them! 😁 📖
Another great concise view
Great analysis Dr Grande. Perhaps could extend the counselling letter writing to include the opportunity for feedback : multiple choice questionnaire of methods of death, levels of life - insurance, etc..? 😉
Why is your voice soo calming? I fell asleep twice
Sandra Duyst was my Sunday school teacher, for real. I knew her husband from church. Some people believed him, but I think he is very guilty.
I like the inculpatory letter writing counseling idea.
Your dry humor is hilarious 😆😆
I’ve been binge watching your channel for weeks. My friend who is not a doctor has diagnosed me with addiction. I’d like a second opinion.
I remember this case. Thanks for this.
Just an FYI, older S&W automatics had a flat steel sear spring that when/if it lost tension results in "double taps".