Conflict, Confrontation, and Arguing Well
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- Jackie and Preston revisit a conversation had during the very first season of the podcast - how to argue well. Confrontation is a necessary function of a healthy relationship and it can create more intimacy in relationships. But how do we honor God and one another as we move through conflict? The Perrys have some thoughts from what they’ve learned over the past five years.
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Disrespect is natural
Love is supernatural
-Jackie
Love this quote!
That was a word
Noted ✍️
They clean together, talking about it like its nothing... This is goals for me. I don't want a man that'll fight me about household duties. Lord hear my prayer lol
The way that I felt this comment on the highest level I absolutely understand what you mean because I have been through this already in my life and it really is frustrating
Amen and with joy and dancing
Me too
Amen!
Yes
What a conversation between two mature, and emotionally inteligent people sounds like.
that's what God does! Praise Jesus!
I was paralyzed in bed last year and I heard Jesus say out loud to me - If you believe in me get up and walk💜🕊💜 I got up and not only walked but went for a walk outside. Praise God!!!!! GOD IS ALWAYS WORKING!!!! ✌💜🕊🙏
Praise God
@@queenkamie1743 Amen 🙏
Thank you JESUS 🛐
May God bless you all the days of your life. 🎉
AMEN!!!
Hallelujah! God is still alive and performing great works even today!
“Oh, we’re back to you.” Jackie’s sarcasm is so funny 😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Very funny
Within the first 16 minutes, I realize there is a lot of humility and serving the other person in marriage.
we love a NOT 30 minutes with the Perrys 👏🏽🔥
Literally😅 I never want it to end lol
@@TheWordwithWhit SAme thoughts
Literally I could listen to them talk about the same topic for HOURS and never get tired of it 😭
"The primary insecurity we have is a lack of intimacy with God" "If I'm secure in the Lord, that frees me to love without fear" Thank you for this, it is such a helpful prayer point!
0:10-0:41 is the absolute most precious, tender, adorably flirtatious interaction I’ve seen between the 2 of them 🥰🥰
Righttt!!!! I was kinda shocked but then I remembered they have 4 children 😂😂😂I love how modest they are with their affection its so cute to me and shows the depths of their love being beyond the flesh 🤍
Yes...ive never seen that raw affection
it made my heart flutter
I just felt sorry for him when she didn't reciprocate the same feelings toward him . When he asked her what was her favorite moment and she said that she couldn't think of anything, she said she didn't have one!
He said "You can't find Nothing"? 😔
I’m glad I’m not the only one that saw that
“Disrepect is natural, Love is supernatural”
When I watch them, it reminds me of why my last relation didn’t work. I couldn’t have conversations like this, ever
Heavy on the " I don't want to tolerate the people i love , I want to love them well" 😪 patience is truly a virtue & I'm grateful for the grace , love& patience God has extended to me while working through this .
I'm not married but I need to keep this ep in my back pocket. Thank you Lord.
This conversation encouraged me to sit down and have a conversation with someone who I avoided for two years. Jackie described me like she knew me since childhood. It's hard to look at yourself and admit that you have unpleasant qualities. But it really takes getting out of your comfort zone, out of your pride, and face what God is trying to fix.
This is me too 😢
To everyone that is involved in worship...musicians, production, camera ops...don't ever think that you are simply doing a job. You are creating an atmosphere for GOD to move...for him to reveal himself in the hearts of those who are truly open and need him the most. GOD is doing the rest...he just wants US to roll out the red carpet for him...to exalt him....to be a conduit for him to work. Great job to all!
Thank you so much for this ❤️ God bless you!
beautifully said💫
I literally tell everybody i know about Jackie and Preston, as someone who grew up in a legalistic church, fell out of the church and now navigating my way back, y'all have been a great great help. Keep doing the Lord's work! Love from Uganda
That fear of rejection after conflict, yep Jackie
🤯🤯🤯 never thought of it that way
@@mrsburton7911right?!! I was like that’s a revelation😂
I’m so Jackie! I grew up in a conflict avoidant family and lacked the know-how to even communicate. Here I am 30yrs old still learning to become more vocal and assertive 😅 GOD is still growing me in this area 🙏🏽
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. After 10 years of marriage I finally know what my issue is as it relates to conflict. I’m similar to Preston here (wanting to deal with issues immediately/lacking patience) and my Husband is similar to Jackie (shutting down). Both tie into our upbringing. Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom. Listening to this again. Team 60minutes with the Perry’s!! Let’s go!!
Fr 30 mins is not enough. Lol
Girl, I literally just said this. I'm Preston, and my hubby is Jackie. This was good!
I never thought about this. I shut down too
The same with me and my husband of 11 years. The communication is there but it’s not good arguing. I shut down and he’s confronting and be strong and wrong.
Yes! Same here. When he said he once thought that desiring to confront things right away was about unity and then recognizing it wasn't....... that hit me. I am pausing at different sections and reflecting because i am very much like Preston and I thought the same thing but I am realising impatience is really at the root.
That intro question...😂 he really had one true thought.
And Jackie was so calm in response to the revelation (small smile then "anything else") that THAT Was his happy moment. Lol i love their love
Okay 😂 I slick saw that and busted up laughing
The fact that you guys are still getting to know each other and are still intrigued by each other is so beautiful to me💜
Ya'll out here saving marriages. This is so good. Thankful for ya'll Godly example and communication of the truth of God's word to help us win...
Quick confessions keeps the enemies lies at bay 🔥🔥🔥
By taking my anger to God, He showed me that my communication style, ( disrespectful and or unloving) was something I used to be heard or to protect myself from others. The more I focus on serving my husband as I would serve God the more He could change the way I communicate. I am a mixture of the 2 of you. I start off bold and telling you exactly what the problem is and then I punish with silence. When God showed me myself... I had to ask Him to change me. Now I know that I can express myself and still be submitting. Thank you 2 for all of the "real-life walk" talk.
These people are so wise.
But also keep me so entertained.
And they have the most beautiful family.
Keep the discussions coming please
This whole video lead me to repentance, forgive me, Lord. Thank you for this couple. Lord continue to bless them!
Amen on ALL fronts!!!
@@islandQueen246 amen! Lord help us to grow IN you!
Yes! 🥹🙌❤️
This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you guys for this 🙏🏽
Disrespect is natural. Love is supernatural....😮 Let us think about that.....
I need to remember this constantly
1:30 I was watching the basketball game and Autumn came to me, "I love you daddy".. subtext, Autumn is alone and wants to interact with a daddy who is hyper focused on a televised or recorded game. She's a smart baby so she gets his attention by getting up into his lap and starting the interaction with " I love you, daddy". Smart child and a loving family environment is behind that daughter father interaction. ❤
That "he just constipated" line was funny. But fr every episode is insightful "Conflict can create more intimacy"
The Chemistry you two have is amazing to watch
In almost every relationship I know there is one individual who pursues conflict and another who avoids it. And you know what? The balance is healthy and beautiful ❤
OMG this is the best. It is helping me to see me
this couple is sooo authentic. Thank you for being gentle but straight with each other
“Be quiet please” ahaha😂 I love this conversation, you two are a blessing.
My mother also shuts down in the midst of conflict, avoids it fully. It’s very hard to have patience with her but I pray The Holy Spirit will urge her to change and grow🙏🏼
Man this right here!! This right here is good teaching! 🔥 Jackie said “Disrespect is natural, love is supernatural” I snapped my fingers like poetry! 😂🫰🏾 All jokes aside, I love this so much this is my second time watching it. So many nuggets and Godly perspectives on communicating. 🙌🏾💯
Food for thought😩🙏🏾 pray for me pls.. I am that woman who has a SHARP tongue… more so from learnt behaviour… I grew up around predominantly single, independent, outspoken women, the first out of my parents, uncles, aunts, siblings and cousins to get married. I now have x3 girls and struggle to tame my tongue
& KNOW the cycle needs to be broken. My husband has so many overt strongholds although he has come to Christ & I have so much pride to humble myself and be that submissive wife that brings him closer to Christ through my conduct.
You guys are definitely one of God’s blessing in my life❤️💯keep doing what you do.
This whole setup is amazing. Look at Jackie loving on her man all comfortable by him , showing us her soft side ❤ loooooove this !!!!!
I’m SO glad you pointed out how our mothers can display bad behavior toward men that we, as young women, often repeat if God doesn’t reveal the unhealthy patterns to us. I’ve seen that, but I refuse to repeat it.
YESSSS!!! That part spoke to my SOULLLLL!!
@@ashleefigaro4604Wow!
Wow wow wow I’m only 15 minutes in, and I am resonating heavily with Preston. I’m like Preston and my husband is like Jackie. I’ve been feeling stuck on how to change habits I formed from my childhood. This is giving me hope for how we deal with conflict in my marriage. Ok ima listen to the rest now.
I'm not married, but this touched me cause I'm confrontational but my friends & family are so passive aggressive
Lord I just want to thank you for these two. They are making it okay to have tough conversations. This blessed me from a parent perspective… I have a 15 yr old and I’ve been having an issues with communicating my anger and hurt. Now I know how.
Thank you guys!
Jackie looking good. 4 kids!? Okay girl at pre kid weight? That's a feat. You go girl! Lol. Seriously, I love you guys. Love your ministry. Love your love. God bless you both continually❤
Wow this is one of the best marriage conversations I've heard in a long time and of late that's the majority of what I've been watching on TH-cam. Pray for my marriage to be reconciled from divorce.
Will 🙏
I’m late but said a prayer for you. I pray things are moving in a better direction now.
Thank for sharing that part about not waiting until the anger has dispelled before having difficult conversations. I’ve been learning that having emotions like anger is not a sin but to trust God with my all my emotions. This is so great! Just teaching about healthy conflict for reconciliation!
OMG.....this has really helped me to realize how much I have kept myself away from my parent......and how much I have been trying to dominate my younger which I should not be doing.....Thank God for your words.....God bless you, your marriage and children in Jesus name. Amen.
You can always tell when spouses value their friendship just as much as their marriage.
This was such an insightful pod!!
May God replenish the wisdom yal just dropped!!
Your marriage is so beautiful and I love your transparency in sharing these challenges and learning patterns.
Communication with your partner is extremely key. One is able to grow in humility, respect, love and honor for the other person.
There isn't any partnership, It's simply Husband and Wife, representing Christ and his church.
@@andrewgadson89Humm, can you elaborate on that.
This was so good!! I’m not married yet but this helps me to have critical conversations with grace and humility
It’s the fact I have been so busy that my room was a mess, I tackled it today took 3 hours. I’m ordering jerk chicken to reward myself as I’m waiting I’m watching this. Praise God for order .
I need therapy!!! I've listened to so many of your podcasts, and they are speaking to me do deeply!!
Wow…this conversation was so enlightening. You guys have really grown so much. Jackie, I’m a communicator also and I can definitely identify with so much of what you said. Preston your perspective as a man truly blessed me. I thank God for your ministry gifts and your willingness to be transparent and vulnerable with us. May God continue to pour into your family, your marriage and your ministry.
Great epidode. I listened on my walk, and man I felt convicted. I'm more like Preston, and I want to address stuff and move on immediately so I can return to my peaceful place without always considering that my peace doesn't mean my spouse, friend, or family has returned to peace, or is ready to talk about it.
My husband is this person. I stew on things too long. I need a minute to talk about things.
Love that story Preston shared in the beginning of Autumn being super sweet and loving but not as expressive emotionally and him carving out space to sit with her. I was the same way when I was little so I can relate !! 😭 When you are a deeeeep feeler sometimes it’s more vulnerable to share how you feel. So even displaying glimpses into the depth of emotion you feel toward those you love is a vulnerable feeling. As one of 4 girls I can attest to not wanting to compete for attention with my other siblings who are more quick witted I would say. Even though I was more slow placed it’s because I was taking everything in so deeply and richly. Having those big emotions in a little body is quite an experience but knowing your being held creates the space for you to start expressing it ❤️
Whew... this is my daughter, but I didn't see it 😢 I am very emotionally expressive and have raised all of them to share their thoughts and feelings, but I'm rather demanding about it. I don't like conflict, but I don't feel comfortable sitting on and through bad feelings; I HAVE TO confront it. I'm like Preston in this, for sure. But I don't have the patience for my daughter whose face is set like stone and sooo slow to express emotion. Thank you for sharing your perspective. This has changed my outlook and shown me myself. I've got a lot of work to do. Do a work in my heart, Jesus, and create in me a clean heart, indeed. For the sake of those I love, let me show love in dying to self every day, amen.
@@Kimbrasa Ahhh wow thank you for sharing this. I love conversations like this where we get to see how we all process emotions differently and can grow to see and love each other even better. What a blessing 🙌🏾❤
"God's command to love our neighbor better than ourselves applies to our spouse."...our closest neighbor.
Appreciate your transparency of your own shortcomings...being real. Gives the rest of us hope for change 😆
I've been watching on my television. LaTonna knows I like that better than my PC or phone. The downside is not able to comment.. So I had to fire up the PC and say Good Afternoon to all of the Beautiful Brazen Bosses on here today!!!!
They been straight helping my marriage of 12yrs with their content. Keep it coming Perry’s!!❤ I’m loving EVERY bit of it!
Jackie’s outburst gets me EVERY TIME! Lol
Quick confession is imperative in marriage, yes! This is sooo good. So true. But like Jackie stated, we learn this by watching women we grow up with or around. And too, and especially, fatherless. Communication, letting one another know how we feel. It’s like when we sin and realize it, go directly to the Father and confess. “I’m sorry, I messed up”. Pride aside and confess. Thank you so much, truth.
As I was listening, it just came to me
what a beautiful creation here on earth your marriage union is, and the conversations that arise from you two are so beneficial to those listening that I'm just so glad that such conversations are being shared with the rest of the world!
To anyone who's reading this, YOUR SITUATION IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE, WINNING IS IN YOUR DNA
Amen❤
“These behaviors are effecting my respect and I want to respect you. I want to value you but that is making it hard for me.” Wish i had this years ago 😅❤
I needed these months ago
@@shesvirtuous the one that i use with males that matter is, “when you do ____ it makes me feel ____.” But even this takes time because i have to sit and fill in the blanks before i go address it with them lol 😅 they always respond well. it’s just aggravating to stop, sit, and find the accurate fill-ins. Most of the time its a repetitive behavior so i have to dig within as to why it makes me feel a kinda way and also decipher is it a me problem that i can fix or is it something thats really that important that it requires their assistance/change. Like are they being offensive or am i just offended kind of thing…
@@LorenaHarper thank you
WoW!! This was truly beneficial to life married, engaged, or single,. How forthright and to the point. This made me realize my mistakes in relationships, and things I put up with in relationships, that should not have been. A lot of who we are as adults is what we been through growing up. That you “Perry’s “ . God bless your marriage continuously.
They’re both really deep souls. Having the deep knowledge of God, having the mind of Christ. Jesus has certainly knitted their hearts together.
This is definitely an area of prayer for me.
I gotta keep a dictionary when I watch this podcast and I love it.
Dealing with conflict is an area I certainly struggle with and hearing this is super helpful and and very therapeutic. I thank you guys for being super transparent and just leaving out there. Imma watch a few times so to make sure I didn’t miss anything!! Much love and God Bless!!❤❤
Enough to make a grown man cry. Such great stuff...I just discovered this podcast and I'm so glad I did. Thank You Lord!
Christlike love is just as vulnerable as submission...I have never looked at it from that vulnerability standpoint. That's deep. Thanks!!
This gives me hope and being taught many lessons. I pray to God that he gives us strength in my marriage and helps us get through whatever battles that is hindering us from growing. I really needed to hear this.
To keep it 100 videos that y’all do like this has really helped me in the process of engagement to marriage. Videos like these definitely makes it easy to see my own issues in my engagement in a very convicting but loving way but what’s different about this content is that you both are giving practical answers and advice to help change the problems in both parties.. I thank God that the Holy Spirit is moving through you both. Much love Perry’s
This conversation was an immediate answer to my prayers. Thank you for fine tuning my perspective 🙏🏽🔥🔥🔥
I'm a lot like Preston in this. I wanna confront conflict fast.
Same. Nothing in me can allow things to stew and fester. I'm addressing it.
@_ashleighla I totally get you. It can work for us and also against us😅
Honestly I hate to dwell on things so I confront it immediately but I’m learning to pace myself.
So beautiful how Preston shows up supportive and patient in the marriage to model how Christ loves the church. Jackie’s statement about how being secure in the love of God frees a person to fully love their spouse was powerful.
My goodness. This one was so meaty! "Women who are communicators..." whew 😮💨
Thank you Jackie for that comment “withholding yourself from somebody you are called to love is some form of punishment and that’s not like Jesus”. I tend to go back into the introvert self when I get hurt and I feel talking at that time will hurt me more cuz I will hurt them if I try to speak. However when I go into my cave I may take long and my fiancé is a wonderful man and he may give me time to process things through and when he does that it would hurt me the most cuz I would now feel like he doesn’t care and he doesn’t want to apologize. So when I listened to you guys and when you made that comment, I stopped the podcast and called him right there and then and we talked things through and I have you to thank cuz I didn’t know how long I was gonna punish him with my silence😂 even though I was missing him. It’s a journey and thank God we have him to help us and people like you too. Amazing talk. God bless you all.
Sheesh Preston’s last point about fear is so gooddd. Makes “perfect love casts out fear” hit me anew ❤
Another gem, so good! I love how real this conversation was, I can’t wait for Glory Dallas!!
I'm not even 8 minutes in and this conversation is blessing my soul. I was actually trying to continue in order binging the previous seasons, however due to the enemy trying to plague my marriage, the Spirit instantly led me to this video. Our foundation within our upbringing can cause so much chaos within our marriages. We definitely have to clear the slate through help from God, therapy, and sitting down with our spouses to define within OUR marriages exactly how we want it to be and what we want our offsprings to see that is within Christ and how He wants us to be within the marriage. MY LORD!!!!🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
OAN: 42:19-42:20: I need that saying on a shirt good sir! Bold Apparel indeed!
Jackie be teaching me new words
I just love them. This is crazy. This video popped up as me and my husband are cleaning the bathroom. 😂😫🖤
More Godly healthy authentic relationships.
These videos are such a blessing to my marriage. Thank y’all so much.
The fact this is the first time watching y’all and Autumn is my name I’m instantly crying SUBSCRIBED😭
Amen
This is so good. How we were raised, what we witnessed, has become the norm for most of us. Allowing the Lord to reprogram us in HIS ways is a process but it’s so beautiful and fruitful.
You guys are so transparent about everything. I Love It.
Yes Love the way thay teach open bless them
This is Blessed is peacemaker for they shall be call the children of God. You have be wise in how confront, so peace is made.
Phenomenal conversation. Bless this beautiful Union🙏🏾✝️
This is soooooooooooooo good! Y’all- this is theee type of conversation we as a nation NEEEED to elevate mentally. Precise and Certain transparency, not surface level conversation. The way they aligned biblical truths with the unspoken truths of our hearts 🤯🔥. This is skillful articulation from artist who have great marital conversation and connection (practiced and learned) as well as meditating on how to express oneself (practiced and learned). Praise God . And these take courage and Intentionality to develop.
Oh my goodness, so powerful!!!! I'm a lot like Jackie in not wanting to confront and never realized how it's tied to insecurity and believing that I might be abandoned. That's so on point for me.
Lord....I THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! 💯💯💯 Priceless content for both sides. Thank you Lord!!! Lord help us to acknowledge that which needs to be removed from us and learn how to communicate well so that we can love one another and grow in the right way. (REPLAY!!)
“Be quiet please…” LOL I just started watching y’all’s podcast yesterday and I already love the way yall interact w each other 😂😂 relatable
This is good! I definitely can relate to Jackie with my upbringing. Even now at 35 I’m learning how to properly have awkward discussions in a healthy manner.
I saw the episode on Spotify and thought "aah let me watch it today, I've missed their wisdom as well as their faces" i come over here and what? 40hours?😂 Forget yals faces I'm going back on Spotify for the wisdom 🤣 I'll see you another time, love you and GOD bless your faces😂❤️❤️❤️
God just used this to bless me and confirm and bring a bit of clarity to the message He was giving me yesterday. Thank you all for continually sharing this with the internet & the world 🙏🏾
Pure wisdom! Real, relevant and necessary.
Lol Preston’s stinky breath metaphor and Jackie’s bewilderment to that at 43:02 😂 I was listening to this on Spotify and couldn’t stop laughing!
This episode is so personal to me, man.
I could totally relate with the "being mean with words" that Preston was talking about.
My Ex. and I used to have a lot of issues. I stayed because I deeply loved her and believed it could work. I did.
But I experienced the worst form of emotional and verbal abuse ever. I've never been with someone who treated me that way. I didn't feel safe. I didn't even feel like a man around her. Felt so intimidated.
I've ended things, but I still feel sad sometimes. I told her "we can have disagreements/issues. That's okay. But how we sort things out is super important."
We would have an issue, she'd say some mean things that would stick long after we sorted things."
You guys hit almost every time. But you know your audience is not emotionally mature to really grasp all of this. It's so good to hear it tho, they you put it dwn. Most haven't been able to do like yall do. I'm here for it. I am so grateful to God for allowing me to gain so much . ❤
sheeesh we are waiting!
Lord knows I need to hear this, the flesh wants to argue about why I gotta wait for 2days for this but the title of this video is humbling me😂
I heard “Your spouse is not your enemy!” years ago and it changed how I handle my husband! We are fighting the problem. It isn’t me against him!