grown men will NEVER need your help - STOP HOUSING THE HOMELESS!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 เม.ย. 2024
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In this episode, Elle discusses a wild Coachella story. The narrative follows a group of men who exploited their connection to one woman to gain temporary housing during the festival. Elle emphasizes the importance of enforcing boundaries, especially in co-ed living situations. She criticizes the men for their exploitative behavior and also addresses the women involved for not adhering to the 'rules of engagement' between men and women. Elle concludes the episode by underlining the importance of personal safety and the need to bring back stricter rules of interaction between men and women.
![your feelings are valid - don’t listen to men and pickmes [$6 engagement ring]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/XEpD5nLco7s/mqdefault.jpg)
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"Nobody falls in love faster than a dude who needs a place to live."
Their sex game is off the charts I’ve heard.😅
💯 💯 💯
@msNPC123 lol
AND THAT PLACE COULD BE YOUR HEART!
Or a visa / passport… :’)
Also, normalize saying no to your friends wanna bring their boyfriends to YOUR place when you’re not there!
Wait what?! I need context 😅
Who does that? Omg 👁️👄👁️
What? This is a common thing?!?!
Thats WILD
Absolutely, your domain is your safety. If a friend wants to invade that in any way they are not a friend. This shit isn’t cute
Normalize calling the cops on men for trespassing
If only cops actually did anything about it. You’d be surprised how many cops let men like this walk free with no consequences, cause chances are they’re the same kind of people
@@starstorm1267 well even if the cops wouldn't have done anything, at least there would have been a record in the system showing that they called the cops on those guys. It probably would've helped getting the deposit back 'cause that call and the cops showing would have made clear that the guys were not their friends or partners. The neighbours would have probably seen the cop car too and sided with her.
Yes! Thank you! Move #1 in a situation like this, even just to have it on record but also to stop any potential escalation. And no open or unlocked doors. Period.
Yes!
Yeeeess, call the police, generate evidence in your favor and let the cops deal with whatever it turns out, even if is just to make the guys have a hint of a second thought about bothering you again.
Women get called gold diggers just for existing, but men be like:
Ultimate projection
I've noticed that men who want shelter, food, and gas money always approach women to ask for things. They don't usually ask men, because they know women are conditioned to be nurturing and to say yes. When I realized that, I stopped helping able-bodied men in general.
Yes. Exactly.
My mom used to make me give tea to the men that guarded our house yet I didn't even know them. I know she wanted to teach me to care for people and I love her but.... I'm always mad she made me feel exposed like that.
How did i come across this part of youtube. What you and other people in the comments are saying is... total insanity. Like what world do yall live in, not helping people when you can is a totally alien concept to me.
@@pivomanslovensko Are you a man or woman? 👀
@@digimonalvatrax2738they do guard your house tho… I’d bring them drinks too, regardless of their gender.
STOP giving men the benefit of the doubt. They are counting on u to assume they are good ppl. Stop
I mean, it's fine to have the benefit of doubt, but always keep your guard on, because at the end of the day you don't know what type of schemes they have in their minds. Be safe out there ❤
@@prussiansocietyofamericawhose committing the majority of crime despite being less than half the population? oh, that's what I thought.
THIS. The TRUTH!!!
I always assume the worst
I heard that guys LOVE when you express that you trust them. I’m gonna be really careful about doing that.
I cannot BELIEVE she didn't call the police when she saw men trying to enter her house at 5 am.
seriously that is terrifying wtf
Zero survival instinct. Zero.
Thank goodness nothing bad happened
A pick me who wants to be nice and not cause a problem
@@catcoffee7958 or maybe she is let's not judge the obvious victim here
“Grown men will never need your help.” I need this on a t-shirt.
Yes!!!!!
Absolutely!
Unless a man needs cpr, he will NEVER need my help.
Me as well she needs to trademark that!
@@cosmiccrush22 fair enough one exception even then the compressions are what count not the mouth to mouth!
the worst part is that women do SO MUCH for men, like taking in a hobo, marrying a handicapped/sick man etc YET men would NEVER do the same for a woman. my rule: if a man wouldn't do this for a woman, i'm not doing it for a man.
note: i am NOT saying handicapped/sick people don't deserve love & relationship etc, but men never make this sort of sacrifice for a woman.
The fact that men are more likely to leave a partner with cancer says a lot. Also: let's be real, how many men stay to take care of a chronically ill partner? We all know men don't want to deal with it.
@@violets-for-roses exactly!! i saw Shannen Doherty talking about her cancer and how she found out her ~hubby~ was cheating on her WHILE SHE WAS DOING CHEMO. like wtf he deserves to rot in hell.
I hear you! And since we do do this, it means we need to set the bar higher for men who are able bodied. There is an insta couple of a hot model type with a paralyzed man who’s lower half never fully developed. They look happy but dude treats her like a queen and they don’t appear to have struggle love even despite his condition (he understands what she does for him, values it, and he has worked to be good and secure with himself) And they are the exception. But that to me makes me realize there is noooooo reason we shouldn’t expect able bodied men to try harder. As yoda said, there is no try. Only do. Fr though.
Predators are attracted to us (disabled / severely ill) if we look "normal"
But only because they know we're defenseless and they can do anything they want.
They're incredibly dangerous
@@violets-for-rosesmy dad wasn’t always the best role model, but he took care of my step mom during her cancer. My dad was horrible to my mom in terms of cheating in her with so many women, but changed for my step mom I think. I wish he would have admitted his previous faults to me but he did not waver with my step mom. So I at least got to see that.
Some women are, "yes" women. I would have straightforwardly said, "no". I'm a "no" woman by default.
We've been programmed by birth to be yes women and you-have-to-be-nice women.
I’m a yes woman until you threaten my peace and quiet…then I’m a “fuck off” woman 😂
Do you know, that's the ONLY good advice my stepfather (a notoriously selfish individual) ever gave me.
He said "When you say yes, you surrender the power to another person. It'll be difficult to say no afterwards because they now feel entitled to your time and they take it from granted. People don't feel grateful for the things they take for granted and so when you try to gain back control of the situation they are going to fight you.
So say no first. Even if you are almost positive you want to say yes, when you say no you take back the power. And people will feel grateful if later on you change your mind. They will feel privileged because they will see your time as the precious commodity it is. "
@@missrebel634 so true. We have to practice saying no and de-program ourselves so we don't get taken advantage of.
You just have standards and common sense
My sister housed the homeless in me and my moms house and got pregnant by him IN OUR HOUSE, please ladies protect yourself and your future these men are everywhere.
Omg!! That sounds dangerous
The hell…I would never allow it, my mother and aunts would never let me or my sister or their daughter do THAT.
That's craaaaaazy!
Baby trapped her
You mean like that video?
ALSO: if a guy has to persuade you of something because your first reaction is hesitation or inner debate, your answer then defaults to NO.
Yes, trust your gut.
100%
@@gorgeous1fangirl your profile pic makes that 100 times better
So she backed down and let them into the house after he said all that 💩 to her?! Gurl grow a back bone and stop being a door mat for broke bros.
If I understood correctly she said no and they let themselves in
@@deezed6478Then she should have immediately called the police. Her housing and personal safety is on the line, this is no time to be polite.
@@once.upon.a.time.to be fair in this situation she might want to not make them mad so they wouldnt attack her since she d stand no chance in a conflict like that, hence why being polite (not saying its necesarly the safest way to be cautious, it depends so much on circumstances and how panicked you are) that could give her the opportunity to be left alone for a moment and secretly call for help
@@elena3476That’s why you do not open the door and call the police.
Who opens the back door that leads to your bedroom in the early hours of the morning to a "Man shaped figure"?!
Ether she’s got the worst survival instincts OR she’s not telling the whole story.
This was voluntary "victimhood". The first guy was testing the boundaries. Not saying no to all that bs told him and his friends they could take even more from these girls.
I'm so worried for young women today. Can we normalise just saying no please, girls.
I wonder why she didn't feel nervous allowing men that entitled stay in their house.
💯!!!!
Deciding to live your life is not volunteering to be a victim. In a perfect world, you should be able to have people stay and not have something bad happen to you - especially not be blamed if it does
I feel like we're forgetting the most important bit here: WHATS THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA? They should absolutely be outed for being shitheads.
That was my thought too, but then I thought we don't need to give them the views. Unless someone knows a way to view Tik Tok content through some sort of proxy that won't give them that...
One of the guys on there used to reply to me on snap. He always gave me shit head vibes so I’m not shocked. I’m pretty sure he’s on something most the time lol
Exactly
Right i need it, finna bully them 😂
@@jams1070 right after you sis 💪
The good men really are offline. Case in point, my husband, busy working and literally helping build us a house.
You think this is an online problem? Seriously...smh
@user-qu2gp8mw9u I don't think it's just men online but men online who has a large social media persence just are the worse and they tell you that they are the worse if you listen to them carefully. At least they tell and show women that they are. Men who are not online would probably course correct that behavior without validation that nothings wrong with themself when something is setious wrong with them.
exactly because it signals character and values. good men have their priorities straight, and unless they're literally artists/entertainers making real money, don't include keeping a social media presence if having one at all.
@@NaanaaLeafI agrée. Why would a normal man with a job and hobbies be active on social media. It’s definitely a yellow flag.
Also case in point, my partner is on social media, but he posts a lot of stupid silly memes and dad jokes. He also plays with AI chatbots lol
Why do women even do this with dudes THEY DON'T KNOW??? No common sense what so ever.
right if I hear tapping on my window in the middle of the night and see the silhouette of a man I would call the cops not open my door...
We need to start holding ourselves accountable. Its been how many years of other women telling us the same stories and yet we’re still here? I’m starting to loose empathy.
Because they're afraid of saying no its programmed in women
Fortunately most women would never do that stupid and obviously dangerous thing.
@@giseleb7807 literal decades of cautionary tales 🤦🏾♀️
those losers definitely did not consider the girls as human beings. and the boyfriend used his girlfriend in a game he played with other men. quite gross to see real life examples.
What blows me is the fact they weren't even officially a couple, yet the friend was making such big offers for him with other people's assets...
Bad moves all around.
This is some men's "pump & dump" culture... grown men doing things for the approval/attention of other men, especially at the expense of a woman's heart, care, kindesses, etc.
I have NEVER understood WHY people OPEN the damn door in an obviously sketchy situation. I mean WTF is going on in their heads?!!
I believe it's a freeze fawning situation. And they weren't completely strangers, they had been at her place drinking and have fun, they probably thought it was ok to crash her place.
Seems boundaries weren't made clear.
I say this all the time! If you don’t know what’s goin on out there then DON’T OPEN THE DOOR!!! It’s so stupid!
This was so crazy of them to open the door in the middle of the night for strangers. I NEVER open the door unless it is someone im expecting at an agreed upon time
Fr my sister once opened the door to my cousins ex bf when he was yelling and screaming and clearly off a coke high, then tried to lecture me and my other sister for not wanting to let him in and treating him “rudely” when he was inside the house and literally ACTIVELY robbing us
Hi, it’s called trauma. I’ve done it myself. my mother traumatised me in to being a people pleaser. I have a shiny spine now but it took a while. But even I didn’t do it twice in a row the second time I flicked off the lights (it was night) and I ignored the rapping on the door and they went away!
This girl was too chill with this mess. She will be in this situation again.
I think she's talking like this to not givw the 'she crazy' callers any fodder.
@@bikerultimatewgaf what these bums think! But no she gives off the crazy vibes as in, she talks like she has learned nothing! Shit in my back room? Its in the gutter and gfriend needed to call the cops when they came back
Ikr
As women, we should know, if a man is homeless he has used up all of the charity and graces of every woman he has known because women in general does not just leave anyone starving and sleeping on the street. I don't feel any empathy for these men and especially when I have seen men laugh at homeless and starving women and children all over social media with no mass outrage or disapproval. The real hearts of men is cruelty.
Not just women, but his family members don't want shit to do with him as well.
So by your metric how do you explain homeless women?
@@tikifreaky5204 Men are not women. Women are not men.
@@tikifreaky5204not always but from what I’ve seen (from personal experience as well), homeless women are usually struggling with mental illness (not to say that a homeless man isn’t). My mother was briefly homeless due to mental illness but my family fought to get her back the whole time along with treatment. Then, she reverted back to herself.
Since Coachella is in California. Remember, in the state of California if someone stays at your house for 2 nights in a row they now have established tenants rights and the police cannot escort them out of your home. You have to go to the courts and pay to have them legally evicted.
Slumber parties as adults are not a good thing.
wat?!
That doesn't seem right to me. If I recall it was two months, and when I looked it up it said over 30 days. It definitely shouldn't be as few as two days though. I believe they just passed a law this year which diminished squatter's rights somewhat as well.
U can hire someone to squat w them and make them uncomfortable. That's a whole career now
2 days? Yeah that doesn't sound right. 😂
Whatt!!?
If someone had called the police and filed a report, they might've been able to get out of the fees.
In California if someone stays the night at your place for two nights in a row they have established tenants rights and you have to pay the court to evict them because the police are no longer in jurisdiction to remove your new tenant.
I don’t know why they didn’t call the police night one when these GROWN men are outside their windows. 😅
That felt so predatory when I heard about those fees
I hate that she had to learn all that the hard way
Your channel is doing a public service.
She is a blessing
She was much needed especially in this generation
Wisdom is always needed
No living together before marriage ❤
No ring 💍 no living together ❤
That has no relevance to the situation at hand and would not help any women avoid bad situations nor is it realistic or for everyone.
What you're saying is "You should change your name and tie your social status and finances to someone before being able to observe their day-to-day activities." Which is really dumb, sorry. 'No living together before engagement' is more realistic.
I disagree, I'm not getting married just to find out NOW that we can't work together while living togeyher
Exactly! Some women are silly. They live with their men and create several kids without marriage license. If the guy dies suddenly and he has some wealth, guess who will inherit it? Not her and her children, of course, unless there is a will. Do you really believe a dude got a girl pregnant several times without the ring, will put her name on his will? No na, easy women are easy targets to men. Do have basic standards.
Amen!
Im sorry, we women need to start holding ourselves accountable. Countless and countless stories and yet we’re still here. Whats the point of sharing these stories if we won’t learn from others mistakes? We’ve been having these conversations for YEARS now. Its draining.
For some people all they do is nod but no actual knowledge seeps into their head.
@@tessy28our self love and self preservation needs to be more important than the approval and attention from men. We need to start calling women out and hopefully we all learn.
Saying no is really REALLY hard when You've been trained and brainwashed your while life to say yes with a smile.
@@sarahlpw time to learn to start saying it. this is embarrassing. none of this should have happened.
@@sarahlpw she is a travel nurse. She said “no” to a typical nursing job because she knows her worth knowing how much more travel nurses make. She needs to know her worth when it comes to men and friendships as well. She is a victim but she needs to learn from this. We have been having these discussions for YEARS now and we still can’t get it together. Men won’t change - they don’t care. So its up to us to change and stop giving them access to us and our resources.
Trespassing. She should’ve called the police that first time they jumped the fence
"Washing his balls with my with my olaplex." I'm sorry, what? A bottle is like 30 dollars! And he washed his Pubic hair with it!? Gross!
He does not deserve olaplex smhhhh
$36 where I am! I’d be heated 👹👿🤬😤
As we step into modern times we forget that men can be DANGEROUS to us. At best monetarily and emotionally. At worst physically. I consider these women lucky that these men didn’t physically harm them or worst. This stuff is SERIOUS.
The good men really are offline. My partner has 0 social media presence or interest and he’s the only man in my 25 years that hasn’t abused me or tried taking advantage of me. He’s humble, he’s masculine, he’s caring, he’s motivated, he’s got good morals, he’s healed me from trauma and helped me stand up for myself and stop being a yes woman. And one of the biggest things for me is because he doesn’t have social media and he doesn’t watch corn, he doesn’t see other women as options. He acts like a man, he treats me like a woman and he’s present in this world and our life instead of being glued to his phone all the time.
I need good women 2 find good men because I know a bsf who's a guy like this, his girlfriend is litteraly these guys in the video but the female version and 10x worsee
Yeah my ex acts like a female and has more photos than some females and it’s literally the same damn photos of him in the gym… mind you as much as he’s in the gym you’d think he’d have a badass body, and as much as he posts you’d think he’d be sponsored by a clothing brand or protein brand but it’s neither… when she mentioned about social media I cringed because I always threw that in his face, and he just couldn’t see it. He truly feels he’s blessing women with his online presence. Not to mention he copies and pastes inspirational quotes for his stupid gym photos 🤦🏽♀️. When she mentioned men having social media is a red flag it validated me… I’m like I knew I wasn’t crazy for calling him out on this behavior. When we were broken up this past time which was two years he had a whole bunch of different girls he had slept with on it and AGAIN.. she mentioned this… they use women for clout.. that’s all he has.. he posts them to show them off 🤦🏽♀️… I feel freaking dumb for going back to that 💩
I'm sorry, but why tf did she let this happen multiple times? 😨 I would've been so scared that these men would stab or SA me in my sleep. We really need to help other women to say NO.
My housemate would bring random men from a first date home to sleep with them. She brought hole a guy who had money for a hotel, is building a house but wanted to mooch off her. He love-bombed her like crazy, called her babe and took her out shopping on the second day of seeing him in a row, and let him sleep for a week. He would not clean up, would put his clothes everywhere and make her cook and clean for him. My housemate saw these things but was in denial of his treatment. After two months of him coming and going every couple of weeks, I stated the boundaries in place each time and he kept "surprising her" in coming back unannounced. I lost my shit and said i would call the police, that was the only way to make him leave and he guilt tripped and manipulated her to thinking I was the AH. Don't trust homeless men.
brought home*
Jesus! This is why I haven't lived with anyone since I was 22. Always had my own spaces. I always advise ladies that when they level up their money, they need separate apartments or secure your own living space that no one but you has access too. I avoided so much nonsense situations this way.
Only person I am willing to live with my now is my fiancé. Some roomates are genuinely crazy. They think nothing of putting your life at risk.
@@tessy28 Exactly roommates can expose you to dangerous people when you've made efforts to only be surrounded by healthy people. And you can be in the middle of drama that doesn't concern you because you live there. I've heard of people being in physical fights to defend their roommates from a violent partner, roommates always having over their questionable friends who harass them and disturb their sleep. It's an unnecessary stressor. If you don't have much, it's better to live in a studio until you can afford a more spacious apartment.
For me, housemate living rules now include "no sleepovers with partners at our apartment", if they need to have a sleepover, they can have it at his place...unintended consequence is that the bar is set higher for ppl who my roommates can be with, bc if he doesn't have a place and is interested in sleepovers, he's undateable.
The friends in question ofc didn't realize... they fought me on this bare minimum requirement, insane.
an old roommate would bring randos over...like what??? why am i getting jump scared finding a stranger in my bathroom???
another housemate who only has male friends will have her situationships over and call them "friends"...a mess, on her way out.
all in all, live alone if you can as a woman, living with women who never knew protection and don't love themselves is awful.
Housing a homeless not only puts you in danger of working twice as more for him, spending money and taking care for his s..t…. But also it’s an opportunity cost: you cannot meet a normal man while this organism is around, or simply enjoy your solitude)❤
organism :D I actually burst out laughing, I love this
@@electron-Volt I mean.. yeah, it’s like ameba or so… ))
Yes to the opportunity cost. Learn to love the time you have to yourself. We don't need men as bed warmers and placeholders.
organism 😭😭😭
Keep in mind Elizabeth Smart's parents tried to help out a homeless guy by giving him work at their home. We know how that worked out.
YES 💯EXACTLY! This is the constant danger that pickmeisha mothers and NPC fathers put their daughters in.
im not familiar with the case, what happened?
@@SoVidushiShe was kidnapped
@@SoVidushi "Elizabeth Ann Smart was kidnapped at age fourteen on June 5, 2002, by Brian Mitchell from her home in the Federal Heights neighborhood of Salt Lake City, Utah. She was held captive by Mitchell and his wife, Wanda Barzee, on the outskirts of Salt Lake City, and later, in San Diego County, California. Her captivity lasted approximately nine months before she was discovered in Sandy, Utah, approximately 18 miles (29 km) from her home."
thanks
Don't worry about being nice or being "cool", worry about your own comfort and safety! That is a lesson I've learned now that I'm in my 30s that I wish I knew in my early 20s.
"think you're the balls? You're not even the sack" SLAUGHTERED ME
Say it with me.. boundaries as soon as I saw the suit cases I am throwing that shit outside.
The ONLY man I'd be comfortable to sleep in a co-ed situation is my brother. As both being immigrant children in a messed up world, we developed a supportive platonic sibling bond with MUTUAL respect. Until I find a man who is as respectful and appreciative as my brother is, no one is allowed to share my personal, independent space. This story is bonkers to me that we as women would allow even a toe to peep into our sacred space that is not worthy of our time.
I wish women would stop letting others walk all over them. Sisters pleaaaaseee stop this!!
Let’s normalise upholding boundaries and not feeling bad about it!
“No one falls in love faster than a man who needs a place to stay” FACTS! 😂
Reminds me of a guy who helped his homeless coworker live with him so he could still work, then that homeless coworker killed him for a petty reason :/
Edit: researched it up, apparently the manager was killed by their employee bcuz he wanted to kick the employee out and the employee didn't want to leave. Sometimes its best not to help too much or just do a one and done thing
That's why I am a firm believer in helping, but in absolute secret -- nobody knows it is you, have a detached representative in your stead. Or a daddy long legs situation -- because you never know what will happen.
this happened to someone I went to HS with! he and his (single) mom let another kid live with them bc he'd been kicked out. but the kid started doing drugs in the house so the mom asked him to leave... and he killed both his friend and the mom. it was so crazy, they were a nice family.
@@bloodmajesty414i simply refuse to help homeless men. as someone who lives in nyc, those ppl are dangerous and i try my best to avoid them. i only give out money to homeless women bcuz its a lot harder or women on the streets whereas homeless men rather be on the streets than improve their life and follow shelters rules
The employee was being abusive towards the guy who let him stay and the guy's partner, IIRC. Like, you fuq up your free ride and then take the person's life when they rightfully and rightly tell you to bounce?
This story just incensed me! When I lived in Chicago as a single unattached woman I was into the Tango scene. Well there was a Tango festival near my house. I met a lady who was from Peoria and she and I exchanged numbers. The next weekend she texted me to stay at my place and could she bring her friend too? I was polite and said I don’t allow people I don’t know to stay at my house. She was so upset. She tried to guilt me. I know we were all women, but I barely knew her and she had the unmitigated gall to invite someone I did not know too like it was nothing. That was 10 years ago. And because of my upbringing I felt like I was being selfish, but this storytime triggered and vindicated me after all these years! Thanks for sharing. People these men especially are so dang entitled!!
And if they won't use you this way, they will still latch onto you emotionally, trying to make you their thetapist, socially, using you to make friends, try to constantly be in your presence to raise their status to other men, even spiritually, because they see that you have a great energy.
There was a guy who latched onto me under the premise that he was 'lonely' and 'didn't know how to talk to people' and because I didn't know better, I helped him make friends, tought him social skills, intruduced him to other people, so he had access to a bunch of opportunities, and esentially improved his life.
And after he got what he wanted, he didn't talk to me ever again and just ghosted me with no remorse.
Don't make my mistake. Don't ever try to help them.
Let them help each other because they should have their own groups and friendships, not latch onto us.
But that guy didn't have any.
That should've been a huge red flag to me. I was just too kind hearted and not yet exposed to their true nature
They HAVE their own groups, readymade and waiting! It's called GOLF
100% men help each other. I've seen guys FAIL UPWARD because of 'guy code' even tho they may not even know each other at all!
the second time she should've taken their trash out and not let them in and called the police on them
I KNOW!!!!
This situation is akin to having a girl’s picnic trip to the beach: don’t feed the seagulls (men*).
No matter how engaged they seem with you or how cute it looks, if you feed them, more seagulls will come. When more seagulls come, it means not only will your snacks and food be ravaged, the food and snacks your girls brought will also be impeded on. This may subsequently result in the surrounding beach goers having their resources and food impinged on as well by the seagulls. Most importantly- seagulls can carry diseases that are harmful to humans, you don’t know where the hell that bird has been.
Summer is coming girlies, so remember: 🗣️DON’T FEED THE SEAGULLS.😂
That's an unfair comparison for the seagulls...
@@melchiorlise2466 I don’t make the rules. Don’t feed the seagulls. 🤷🏿♀️
@@whyistherumalwaysfinished27 I would take a diseased seagull over a Hobosmexual any day. But I see your point
@@melchiorlise2466 Oh absolutely, but in a world where you can choose neither…😂🤷🏿♀️
"Don’t feed the seagulls!" 😂😂😂 dying laughing here!
I was over the story when she said her friend asked if one of the boys could stay over. And the friend who asked went back to her own home. Like no girl. You better take this man you were booed up with all day home with you. I don't know him!
EXACTLY, this story was wild from the start.
@user-br3ty9rt1m Yup. And I still feel we didn't get the whole story. How do we go from arguing with a group of guys at 5 am trying to enter your home to allowing them in your house to sleep on the floor? It doesn't make sense. A lot of the decisions by the players in this story just don't make sense.
I wished she would have just called the cops the second she heard someone outside of the house. She is so lucky that all they wanted to do was sleep, eat and shower. If they wanted to assault her or her friends they definitely would have. Women really need to keep their safety in mind
The way I would have called the police if someone was knocking on my bedroom door. But also this is California so the police probably wouldn't come.
Or they'd show up to tell you it was a civil matter.
Depends on the city. The culture and service vary widely.
im from palm springs and they come because there is nothing else going on in the area. its not a busy city its bassically a small town.
If a man want’s you to “help” him, YOU are NOT HIS dream girl!
When I was in my late 20s I shared a flat with 2 guys my age in a prestigious suburb of Sydney. However the lease was in my name, they were more transient. My furniture, etc. When they went to travel for Christmas they wanted to rent their rooms out as the area is very sought after and they can make tons of $$$. I told them NO as the rental rules prohibit this plus not allowed to use airbnb in area.
They completely ignored what I said, and I overheard them planning to airbnb their rooms anyway. I freaked out!!! I told them I need to AT LEAST meet whoever is staying with me first!! They didn’t care. When I asked them how the renters were gonna get into the house without meeting me… they responded that they will leave a drop box outside!!!!!!
You can imagine I actually had a nervous breakdown. The AUDACITY of these men to think they can just let STRANGE MEN into my house without me knowing, possibly while I was sleeping is only something entitled hobosexuals would do. It was insane because they refused to listen to me and I had no one to help me. I get post traumatic stress just thinking about it.
It's illegal it sublease a rental property in Australia, you could've recorded their conversations and reported them to the landlord to get them evicted. They could've even been charged with fraud since they must be the legal owner to rent out an Airbnb
Honestly.... it's also not only for our safety, it's also simply just a NO to being forced to host people, have ppl invade my home, hell no.
I had a mobile home for 2 years and people just thought they could crash at my place, eat my food ask me to drive them around. I gladly did it for my female friend but when 2 guys latched on to her, nightmare. I let it happen back then for a few nights. They scratched my non-stick pans, didn't take their shoes off and dirtied everything, ate my food etc. I had to make and unmake THEIR bed bc of weaponized incompetence and after a few nights of them having the AUDACITY to start complaining about me being too strict with my rules (of taking the shoes off etc.) I kicked them out. You best believe that was the last time I did that.
Thank you Elle for this video.
My point is: Even if you feel safe with them bc you know them for example, or bc it's a girl, or family. If you don't want to host them, don't !!!
As a mom, this story gave me heart palpitations. I think part of this is caused by overemphasizing ‘be nice’ as we raise our girls and not focusing more on how to set and hold firm boundaries: “No, that’s inappropriate. Absolutely not.” I am going to try to focus more on teaching boundary-setting to my girl. We also have to teach our girls wisdom: “what about my safety?” Good lessons: Thank u!
Please look up the book "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. Could save so many lives! I had my daughter read it as a teen. Wish I'd had it growing up!
@@doberchicthat’s such a great book!
about the victim blaming: you can both be a victim and the guilty party. you are an adult and you have responsibilities. the gf had a responsibility to her roommate and should have warned her bf about his friends. the third girl outrageously asked them to house a guy she literally just met, thus putting her friends in danger. the girl in the video had responsibility to her landlord and neighbors yet put them in danger and financial risk by her being passive. let us not see women as invalids and act like just because they're victims, they're completely blameless. all three girls acted very irresponsibly again and again over the course of 3 days. pointing that out isn't victim blaming.
you are free to do whatever you want if you have your own house and live alone. but as long as you're co-habitating with other women or girls, boundaries are a must and you don't have the option of being passive or timid. would you keep the door unlocked and open and blame the thieves if your roommate's stuff gets stolen? feminism requires women to stand up for each other. not making stupid decisions that could put their lives and finances in danger.
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The fact she just let them continue to stay is also on her.
She needs to be held accountable for this foolishness as well. She should have called the police and get it over with.
They learned on Saturday that she has no boundaries, so OF COURSE they were back on Sunday. It must be a nurse thing, taking 'duty of care' too far. The audacity & lack of manners would make me insulated enough to leave them outside.🚪
When I was in Japan I was living in a sharehouse. It's very common both for foreigners and for young adult. And "women only" sharehouses are completely normalized, I lived in one and I remember feeling so safe.
Stop casual sex, it would fix most problems in the dating scene today. Spread the word.
I love the "absolutely no". Adding it to my vocabulary!
Another important thing is that women have to let go of the pick-me girlfriends. That girl to who asked for the guy to stay over is such a typical pickme - willing to put her friend in danger just to help a hobosexual... That's not okay.
I'm happy I am surrounded by lesbians and straight female separtists, I haven't had to deal with this kind of nonsense in many years.
Where is this magical land?
@@helgahaa I got lucky with my work, and accidentally found a woman owned business where all the employees are women except one guy. For my personal life I just made sure all my friends were terfs 😂 (they're the best)
@@almibry luckyyyy
To be fair... it doesn't have to be strange male in your house to pose a threat. It could be your "loving husband" that you sleep beside who decides they don't know what consent is
WHY WOULD SHE OPEN THE DOOR. This is enraging.
So many mistakes were made 🤦♀️
Bro I'd never let a not closely related man in my living spaces, especially if I'm by myself or only with my girlfriends.
Like, nope, I would have literally go "tell anyone u want, BYE" and let them sleep on the street. I don't care, you try to get in my house and I'm calling the cops.
Look I housed a bf who was gonna be homeless after a year into dating and that was enough to take care of a lifetimes worth of charity (currently reaping the good karma being happily single), but strangers in my house? No ty. These are the horror stories my fam warned me bout when I moved out.
that goes hand in hand with not dating the unemployed!
@@andromeda1903Right! No job, no sex. Our ancestors had that part right and we’ve forgotten it.
@@andromeda1903 preach! Update: tomorrow I’m going on a date with a guy I’ve known for a few years now. He’s very employed n only gave him the chance after three years of proving he’s willing to pay not just for me but for our mutual friends if needed. Somethings really sexy about a guy who’s down to take care of his people. Wish me luck. Been holding out elevating myself to this point.
@@andromeda1903 I know I learnt the hard way. Update though: after almost 2 years of staying single working on myself I have a date tomorrow with a guy I’ve known for about the same amount of time who’s very much employed. I’m finally at a point where I feel I’ve come far enough to start dating again n there’s nothing hotter than a guy who’s displayed multiple times over that period he’s not only down to take financial care of me, but anyone of our friends too when needed (including guy friends). Wish me luck this is also the first date I’ve said yes to in so long and I’m nervous af.
You guys I never open the door until someone answers who they are. I have my phone in hand, some kind of footwear on, and the other door is ready for me to run to if I need to escape.
Ive been raised to help people out in need. Luckely after doing all the work for a hobo and him having an easy life off of me, i learned my lesson.
A male friend of my bf wanted to stay at my house for months and im so glad i rejected. He ended up with a disabled women who he leached off, overstayed longer then agreed upon, gave her a lot of trouble and - after many months overdue - leaving angry, not even a thank you, just angry that she didnt let him stay longer. Now he s leeching off another couple. He s a young 27y old male. Blaming everyone and giving every excuse in the world for not working
"and what do they do? The same thing again on Sunday" Why are you LETTING them into your house? Call the police and REMOVE THEM.
A hard but necessary lesson for her. I hope she actually learned.
Heeeeeey bestie! Even though we're calling men to accountability, we should also take charge of our own safety when we can. They never should have entertained them on the second night. Great video!
A man does not need your help. This hit home hard Elle! Men in my life act helpless on purpose so I’ll help. I need to stop that. And they treat you like crap when you help them anyway bc they think you’re below them now. Also, they will leave a mess in the house bc they are OK living like pigs, but know that I don’t want to so I’m forced to clean it up. Lately I have been practising not doing any of that and letting the mess go tbh. It sucks but here we are. I’m also trying not to help, I catch myself more now so that’s some progress. Another sneaky thing they do is ask for your opinion and bc I’m a helper (fixing this too), I end up ususally just stepping in, giving me a false sense of pride. Man it’s just crazy!! Eyes are opening though thanks for the content as always Elle!
No men would be in my house period, thats wild.
In this economy it may seem like a decent strategy to pool resources in order to afford rent. Please be so mindful with your peace.
I always make it clear to friends that my house does not have an open door policy…people need to ask if they can come over and they are almost never allowed to just show up with a stranger…and certainly not when I’m not there.
I also respect their house.
Okay but who are these dudes? Name and shame them.
When I was a teenager I remember I had a friend that was also very open with making contact with random people, drinking at her place constantly. At that time we just graduated and wanted to go to the next party. So I jumped into the shower, got ready but when I came back to my room she and some guys were chilling in my room. I was so shocked! She knew where we kept our house keys hidden and invited them all over to my place. I still lived with my parents back then but they were at work. I got sooo damn furious and angry and kicked them all out. That was my personal space and nobody asked me about it - still I would have said no.
Women, normalize not allowing your boundaries to be crossed or putting yourself in dangerous situations trying to be "nice".
There is girl in my class who have literally zero survival instinct 😭 & she will blinding follow any boy ( she thinks they are her friends) I have seen those boys smirking behind her, I have mentioned this serval times, but one day she listens & another day forgets it💀
:( i hope she finally learns
Yes we really are “pedestrians in a car world” every man has the ability to harm us physically - WE NEED TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER AS WOMEN & be in solitary to protect each other like men are with using/ manipulating women
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect. That was reckless on her part.
I wouldve called the cops so fast.
Sis, don't talk to them. keep the doors locked, call the police, throw their ish out the window. Put on some headphones if they're making too much noise. Laugh in their face if you can't ignore them. Don't let this happen to you girls, please just don't.
If people won’t leave call the cops. And don’t open the door.
I’m an American woman living in Paris. I’ve been contacted several times by friends-of-friends, people I worked with or went to high school with 20 years ago (aka strangers), asking if they can crash on my couch. All men, who then bitch that hotel rooms are too expensive and why can’t they crash with me and my young daughter??? And if they can’t stay with us, can I recommend hotels, restaurants, museums, etc. Why am I your travel agent, bro?
I housed the homeless before and had a short thing with him. I definitely learned from my mistakes and have to actively forgive my myself for putting myself at risk. Luckily nothing traumatizing happened, but things could have gone so wrong for me.
What attracted you to an homeless man in the first place? I feel like stories like this is what other women need to hear about to deter them.
What makes a homeless man attractive to a normal woman? I can’t get my mind around that.
Guy was probably attractive physically. That’s what y’all do
Life gets an instant upgrade the moment you stop opening your front door.
My sister and I went to visit one of my cousins for the weekend. We went out with some guys and stayed out till 1:00am. When we came back, the doors were locked. We did not knock or try to wake them. We found somewhere to stay. And we found out when the doors locked and came back before then the next night. We had to respect her boundary because she showed it by her actions. Women need to set boundaries, not just say them but hold that boundary.
nooooo what are girlies doingggg I wouldn't even wanna live/roadtrip with just my brothers, I can't even imagine with a stranger!
I grew up with only a sister, so this male behavior I had to learn the hard way. 😩 boundaries are soooo good ladies
Tbh there are no victims here, only participants. She participated in this nonsense. Call women out for this behavior. When you follow along with pickme standards it gets you bit. Play pickme me games win pickme prizes. We all learn this eventually, don't be nice to rando men 😂
Finally. I found a sensible comment.
Who tf opens the door at 5am to an unknown man? Where is the common sense? 😂
Accurately pointing a woman's accountability in what happened to her isn't victim blaming. Yes, these men are assholes which is why she shouldn't have opened her door to them in the middle of the night after they jumped her fence. Omg just call the cops.
Thank you! You dont know how many times i get frustrated that people want to leave the responsibility Only to men to be good people. Yes men should be decent people but the reality of life is that people wont always be good so its up to US to protect ourselves no matter what it takes. In the end we will pay the consequences of trusting that everyone should be decent people if it turns out they are not. Never leave YOUR safety up to someone else.
And they know where you live and put photos of your home and street on the internet. That is so unsafe. Women, please don't do anything like this.
The companion of fools suffers great proverbs 13:20
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There is noooooo way a stranger would be crashing at my place. She would have had to take old dude with her.
My ex is now a hobosmchexual..stay safe out there.
It’s always a good day when you drop a video 💅
If a girl where to crash after a party like that, shed probably even clean up a bit before leaving. 😂
Manifestelle Video I'm so ready for this 😍😍😍♥️♥️♥️
Every video is eye-opening, thank you a lot 💌
I'm not sure who I'm more infuriated with, the guys or the girl.