how to reclaim feminine energy [from masculine and miserable to feminine and thriving]
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ต.ค. 2024
- The first 500 people to use my link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare skl.sh/manifes...
In this episode, Elle delves into the topic of reclaiming femininity and how it is embodied rather than performed. She discusses the importance of self-understanding and daily practices that can help women embrace their femininity outside societal norms and expectations. Elle shares her personal journey of moving from a masculine, misaligned state to embracing her feminine energy. Elle also addresses the issue of consumerism and societal systems that dictate what femininity should look like, emphasizing that femininity is a lifestyle and not a costume. She discusses how the contemporary perception of femininity, often dictated by media and consumer culture, can be misleading and restrictive. She further explores the idea of 'Trad Wives' and how their lifestyle can often lean towards masculinity. Elle encourages her listeners to embody their femininity by engaging in activities that they love and enjoy, without feeling guilty or being influenced by societal expectations. She closes the podcast by urging her listeners to wake up to the reality that it's okay not to fit into prescribed social norms of femininity.
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Femininity on social media has just become about overconsumption...buy these makeup products, buy this dress, buy this freaking portable cup, etc.. It's no wonder the besties are not waking up because they are not doing the inner work!
I wholeheartedly agree! I used to follow a girl who gave a lot of feminine advice, etc and I unfollowed because I felt that “being feminine” was all about external factors. Like for a example dressing in a specific way. Then I realized that true femininity comes with inner work & authenticity.
This! Capitalization invades everything and if anything it brings financial detriment to women. It’s easier for them to buy things rather than do shadow work or set boundaries 🙃
Many people don’t understand what it means to be connected to your heart and soul. These big companies need to go out of business I’ve been seeing really weird things in ads lately. Stop “buying in” to it ❤
well-spotted!!!!!!
Thank you! You're so right. It's ALL about appearance, and purchasing things to enhance it like makeup, clothing, accessories, skincare, false eyelashes and nails etc etc etc. Femininity is so much richer and deeper than that. We are the mothers, the witches, the healers, the intuitives, and the oracles. Reducing feminine energy to the superficial is a crime
✨Hey bestie...🥺
✨Bestie Wake up😠✨
So true bestie
Love this about her 😂 she’s like the best friend who just wants what’s best for us and will give us a kick in the pants to make sure that happens lol
💯 ready to wake up bestie 👏🏽👍🏾🥳🤩😊😁😎
You don’t NEED to be more feminine. You ARE already feminine. Just don’t force yourself to be masculine to fit in or even force yourself to be feminine. Just be. Feminine energy is not about stategy. Like wearing this and that TO feel x y. However if you do FEEL more feminine when you wear a dress. Go for it. It has to be easy and makes you feel happy 💗 Just don’t forget that you have both energies. Use them wisely depending on situations. I love you girls ❤
Exactly ❤
Love this ❤️
Thank you!
@@Himmiefan you’re welcome 🫶🏻
Women have base feminine energy just like men have base masculine energy. Just let it flow!
love how she's on my feed everytime i need her. so proud to be a part of the spoilt girlies support group!!
🥹🥹🫶🏽
Spoilt!! ❤
😘
not related but is it fine to be a tomboy? (not a tomboy just curious)
❤️❤️❤️
“because women are destruction as much as they are creation.” that duality is what i needed to hear.
Reminds of my godess Kali, a Hindu godess of divine femininity and destruction. She is worshipped throughout India, yet women are the most disrespected in this country. Funnily enough women who are successful and speak up for themselves are insultingly labelled as "Durga" another divine form of Kali. These men will worship female gods but then go ahead and disrespect the women in their lives, even using their godesses's names as insults
Yes!
happy international women's day ladies!! 💗💗
I wish you same right back SG ❤
🎀Happy women's day🫂🎉🌺
💕💕💕
Understanding your hormonal cycle is one of the best way to live in alignment with your femininity. Being softer and slower during certain hormone phases, and understanding it's the fundamental nature of your body. It's not something you have to constantly be working to "overcome" so that you can be an ultra productive girlboss 24/7.
I have ADHD. I read that hormonal cycles impact how ADHD presents. It changed my life. I used to try to keep the same rythm every day of the month and felt awful when I couldn't. Now I'm listening to my body. When I'm on my period I do the bare minimum and rest, when I'm ovulating I feel more creative and I do more. Of course I have to do certain things on time, but my goal is to have a life that can follow my inner rythm.
@@PaniACoCooh I need to read up on this!
That's so true 👏 I feel so much at peace when I work with my menstrual cycle rather than against it. 🫂❤🩹
Cycle syncing ❤ Yessss!!
Ummm yesssss ❤❤❤❤❤
Just when a powerful feminine rage came over me, you posted. I was LITERALLY ranting about men's propaganda that "we aren't ourselves when we're emotional. We aren't in our right minds. We can't make good, sound decisions when we're in our emotions".
They can speak for themselves. Your wisdom that men don't have good advice for women is so true. When I'm in my femininity, I AM emotional, and I feel my most divine. When I write my words of rage and go back to them, they ring just as true in a moment of calm. If men can't say the same, it speaks nothing to women, who have been forced to propagate change through feminine rage for lifetimes.
From now on, if my calm comes from a place of guilt, I will recognize it for the patriarchal cowing that it is. I claim my calm from a sense of peace and well being.
Love this !
THIS 💯
So well said, girlie❤💯🫂totally agree with you
❤
So true about coming back to what you wrote in rage over men doing what they do AGAIN, and thinking “yeah, now that I’m calm I can once again reiterate that my opinion HAS NOT CHANGED.”
SO true.
So sick of being told I’m not thinking straight.
Of course maybe I will word it differently in a calm state, but it never once was some hallucinatory rant that made no sense.
I feel like a very feminine woman wearing sweats. I’m literally feminine af but I feel masculine when I have to help men survive.
THIS - just one more thing to clarify what went wrong in my last relationship. I bought us a house, I bought him a truck, I helped him through college. I wish I knew this years ago, but at least I know now.
This! I’m from NYC, we have different aesthetics to fashion and femininity. What makes me feel manly is helping men with anything!!!
@@Bewtsie right lol
I feel like a feminine woman in jeans and a t shirt and also when I wear a dress. I don't feel feminine when I have to wear dress pants and a dress shirt with a logo on it for work. It just makes me feel frumpy. When I wear a dress or jeans, I feel more girly.
@@HaleyMary I can feel feminine in the most "masculine" looking clothing, but it's because it makes me feel comfy and happy, and my feminine energy comes out of that. 🥰
I wear sweats, lots of black, have tattoos, piercings... I feel quite femme and am treated as such. It's definitely a mindset! Find a style you enjoy and others will start to enjoy it too. ❤
Me too, love my tattoos 😁
@@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt Yes! Tattooed ladies rule!! 😍
I am on my health journey of loosing fat and gain more muscles to feel really cool in my loose grey sweats. Last night I had a talk with my husband about where I want to get tattoos and piercings that might not interfere with my job (school teacher) but still let me feel my feminin side.. and no colour can ever beat black.
Oh sounds loveable❤
Yes! Most of my wardrobe is black and I have multiple large, visible tattoos. Still feeling feminine and authentic!
My hobbies are ball python breeding, fashion and art/jewelry making, i feel like a free medusa while taking care of my gorgeous snake. 💅🏽
I love snakes!! 🐍 my mom never let me have one 😭 Now I have a Belgian Malinois and a cat and that’s enough for me rn also my husband is like… not an adamant no but he’s a bit hesitant about snakes lol maybe one day. You get it Medusa! 💖
That’s cool af! ❤
That's so awesome👏
Snakes are associated with Goddesses in many cultures ❤
Love it for you!!!
This is the first time I’ve heard feminine energy described in a way that isn’t misogynistic or off putting. It’s unfortunate that femininity being an individual expression is a revolutionary thought but I appreciate you voicing it. Thank you for creating spaces that spread information which can help other femmes move with more discernment in a world that’s hell bent on keeping us complacent and in the dark.
Oh man, when that woman said “I want to feel more like a woman, and this sucks” i totally felt that. All I want is to be able to be feminine and actually survive instead of being trampled on - I’ve had to rework my entire life to be able to actually be the original version of myself and stay in my feminine energy
I feel this so much ❤❤❤ sending you good vibes sis
@@GetElevatedWithMe this is so sweet, thank you! Currently my life is way better and I’m dating a man who’s finally taken the financial pressure off me. It’s just taken me 38 years to get here, largely thanks to channels like this one that made me realize it’s possible ♥
@@instagamrr I am so freakin PROUD of you yessssss!!! I’m 39 so we’re basically twins lol. I’m so thankful that we both found women who inspired us to become who we are today. I have changed so many times just in the past 6 months alone and I’m so happy! 🩷
@@instagamrr also lock down that ring 💍 🤣 my spouse and I both were like ehhh about marriage but honestly I love it.
So I’m a guy but I just thought I would add my 2 cents and say you should also balance your Masculine as well. You don’t want be completely Feminine because you’ll get trampled on like you said. You have to have boundaries, self respect and assertiveness as well as the willingness to put that into practice. I think it’s a balance at the end of the day of the two energies. Ying and Yang.
Anyone else feel so feminine without makeup on? Nothing man made, just vibes. But then sometimes I feel feminine in a fun makeup look too and I enjoy making myself an artefact of beauty. Sometimes I feel feminine at the gym lifting weights and sometimes I feel feminine going for a gentle walk. What femininity means to me is like a roll of the dice every single day. I always wake up with new needs, new ideas, new curiosities❤
I agree! Sometimes I feel I look more masculine with makeup. I think some makeup trends were derived from drag artists so it may be too harsh. I’ve been wanting to explore Korean makeup styles because it’s softer.
Totally. The worst thing about makeup, in my opinion, is that it can create a certain dysphoria towards your natural face. If you don't put on makeup every day, you get used to your "real" face and stop worrying about whether your foundation is ruined or your lipstick is smudged. The rest of the world notices that confidence too. If one day you want to put on makeup, it will stand out more. But on normal days, you will go to bed and wake up looking good.
I know quite a few women over 50 who don't normally wear makeup, sometimes they also have gray hair, and they transmit a very special freshness. Some are not particularly pretty, but their faces are very pleasant to look at. I know this is sometimes a thing to criticize on pickmeshas, but It isn't in those vibes at all. It's not about bragging about how good your skin looks without makeup, or not "needing" it in front of other women who wear it. It's about feeling comfortable with something as personal as your face.
It also makes it easier to reapply your sunscreen, which cannot be missed. 🌞
Great comment, our natural look is beautiful and a great vibe in it's own way. Glad you are loving different aspects of your beauty. You go, girl! 😊🤩
So true! I love my fun eyeliner art bc anything else is too much for me, even if i do it only for myself for some minutes it is so damn fun to do.
I always was more tomboyish in my style bc dresses just never were my thing even as a child, and just embracing it to not use it as a shield for me but as a way of my self is amazing
This may sound weird, but since I made the decision to stop shaving my underarms, I’ve felt more feminine. It’s not everyone’s jam, but to me it has always imparted this “wild” aesthetic that I feel so comfortable and powerful in. This video has really validated that for me.
I feel the same way. Not shaving is being natural and carefree, which always seemed so feminine to me. Shaving seems so masculine to me because it's about control and dominance over nature.
I just simply started forgetting to shave my legs and armpits because being more in my feminine energy, I have different priorities 🥰. (Still shave the cat occasionally, only because I like that it's more sensitive)
@ZalemMoon I guess that makes sense. Women naturally have hair too :)
When I was in highschool I had this art teacher who never shaved and had a long wild hair and I think I have never been closer to god. I admired her so so much, she is so amazing
FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME. IM CRYINGGGGGG :')
I have noticed that spending time regularly working on my writing gives me a glow up. I don’t change anything else about my life, but will just prioritize my creative work and it’s like I develop a lit-from-within glow. Now I am realizing that It’s only when I get into a more masculine mindset with that work, focusing on deadlines and long term ambitions, that I notice that glow fade. This video was an eye opener. Thank you.
I love your comment so much, I vibe with it so heavy. I'm a writer, too, and when I try to force it, I'm miserable. Whereas when I'm in that flow state and letting the story unspool, its so effortless and wonderful. Rooting for you, bestie!
I make music and it works exactly the same for me. When I work on my music the way I want to, I feel some kind of joy and satisfaction that I don't feel when working with deadlines or with ambition in mind. I feel inexplicably happier overall, even though I've changed nothing in my life otherwise. It's like I feel the strength to take on more challenging stuff than usual.
I feel like this is just a general conflict all people in creative pursuits face, rather than a gendered thing.
I never realised just how masculine I’ve been for many years trying to be in the corporate world while carrying unhealed trauma. The 9-5 never worked for me and I never lasted long in a job! And I denied myself of girly things and colour. I absolutely love colour! Now I’ve been on a journey back to being my true self and it’s so comforting to know that this is the best way to reclaim my femininity. I want nothing more than to feel like a real woman, a free spirit, a joyful girl running and dancing around barefoot and spending my life creating (I’m a painter by the way).
Oh lovely ❤❤❤❤❤ I am a singer and I feel you
@@gjinkalla23 Thank you! I’m glad it’s simple (not that it’s easy!). I’m weary of all the content about how to be feminine! Knowing it’s a matter of being authentic prepares me more for the inner work.
All women are feminine, because all women are the female sex. It doesn't matter how you dress, what hobbies you have or what things you like... you're still a (feminine) woman. Be yourself and don't let anyone say to you that you're less of a woman because of any reason.
💯🎯
I agree with this so much. I do what I love, most of it isn't seen as feminine ( riding a Harley, flying planes, being in the military, fixing cars). In my mind, these things can be feminine because I am a female, and I love doing them.
@@JenniferJohnson-ub3gt Absolutely! I also love things that are not seen as "feminine" and people constantly make fun of me because of that, despite that, I still enjoy those activities. As you said, in my mind, the hobbies that I like are feminine, because a woman (me) is carrying them out.
Facts! We shouldn't pothole and trap ourselves into rigid roles and performative antics like men do.
@@decoraqueena6413Your biology does that for you in general.
If you look at generalities, men and women choose different jobs for a reason.
How are roles defined? By choices, If you look at stats. Men and women choose completely different ways to live life. This is due to biology.
Shakti --> Creation
Kali --> Death (both physical & metaphorical)
Being the Source of Mother Earth, every girl has both of these energies in her. ❤
If women are the divine feminine, then I guess "Gods can be cruel" too.
@@eulennachathen449 Goddesses don't lay their wrath unecessarily. So no, She isn't cruel, but nurturing.
Funny coincidence you mentioned Kali. I was just listening to a Kali mantra before getting to this video
@@NormalWinterFox Light an incense when you do it. Watch the environment change. ✨❤️
I love the video that said a nymph is the true expression of feminine energy. We are inherently chaotic, nurturing, beautiful, and serene. What better way to embody that than a being made of nature. It reminds me of one of my all-time favorite songs "Willow Maid" by Erutan. Something that beautiful must be free to roam, not be constricted to walls. My favorite line: "he could not take from the forest what was never meant to leave."
I just listened to the song and it broke my heart. Sth. deep inside me resonated with the story as a symbol of what was stolen from us.
Or at least attempted to be taken / eradicated, because "you cannot take from the forest, what was never meant to leave"
I love that sooong, it is my all time favourite as well!!! ❤❤ 🎉
I listened to this song for the first time and it resonates so deeply with me. It’s heartbreaking
I agree that I feel my most feminine and in my own power when I slow down and relax and just observe. Just simply existing and being there. Nature and practicing witchcraft also help me heal after I’ve been in my masculine energy 😅. I could literally just sit on my porch and watch the rain, the thunderstorm and feel the wind in my face, and automatically feel so feminine. Our bodies just soak up all that energy. Dancing in my room, moving my hips, singing in a slower softer tone. Have any of you listened to Lana and all of a sudden feel like an other worldly femme fatale? Well bc those things really embody the divine feminine😊 however if you were to listen to idk Nicki Minaj, you feel that masculine boss babe energy coming on. So with all that said, I see why nymphs and fairies are ideal.
i just love how u brought up the tradwife thing ,how these women are somehow gaslighted into believing how what society selfishly wanted from them was what they actually needed.
I went to a technical high school for fashion design, as a woman who is 6' this made me feel so feminine finally, knowing that I can tailor my clothes to actually fit my body gave me so much confidence. My teacher was wonderful and I learned so much about textiles and I can construct a garment from the ground up until this day ❤
The scrunchie moment was so adorable & endearing. It's fun seeing another side of you when you're not having to big sis it for us all!
I have my dad's face like carbon copy... Even our eyebrow shape is the same. Throughout my whole childhood whenever I wear girly clothes i was made fun of or called names because I look like my dad and that hurt a lot. Idk what happened but something in me snapped and i stopped caring about people's words. That did it. I became more feminine when I was solely focusing on myself and doing what makes me happy.
Um I love this? For some reason I always felt like doing my makeup and hair made me look more "manly" so I hardly ever do it, but I'm also a skincare junkie who is applying another product every two hours and I love trying to live out my glass skin girlie fantasy, so I could never figure out the disconnect. The disconnect is that the behaviors I perceived as "masculine" were literally changing my appearance to adhere to a standard while the behaviors I really enjoyed doing were actually meant to nourish and indulge the parts of me that makeup is supposed to be covering up. My inner spoiled girlie was right all along!
Simone de Beauvoir wrote a profund and extensive analysis of houselabour and one of her main points is that it doesn't create long-term effects, it's repetitive and it's a never ending cycle - you cook a meal, then it's eaten, you clean and then the dust and dirt appears again. So basically, the traditionally female houselabour doesn't produce anything that would last longer than a few hours.
honestly, this negative concept of house work seems written by a man
It has wonderful longterm effects! Your family feeling comfortable and peaceful when the house is beautifully put together and clean. When home cooked food is made. Yes I understand sometimes the children and husband take a clean home and home cooked food for granted but EVERYONES quality of life including the woman who does the house labor goes up when it's made a priority.
It feels very short lived, the satisfaction I get from a clean, well organized home. And a home cooked meal. All the hard work I do can be wiped out in a matter of minutes. It’s like dedicating hours to draw a portrait. I saw its beauty for about 5 minutes and then someone comes and splashes paint all over it. Everyday.
@@cbreeze123 the affect and quality is absorbed through. It makes a difference to you and others seeing all your hard work. A woman makes a house a home for everyone.
@@dolcisima___ no, actually. A man would likely say those things don't matter because they don't yield lasting results, Simone says it is shortlived and yet everything would fall apart without it. I think the point is that the shortlivedness explains why it has been thankless for so long and women have been okay with it being thankless when it shouldn't be
Funnily enough, I feel feminine when I am motorcycling, travelling, being out in nature, learning new useful skill and baking. I love cooking and baking but not constantly to "please" someone. I prefer being out on my motorcycle having an adventure. Motorcycling taught me how to properly groom my hair so its healthy whilst riding. 🏍❤️
I feel masculine when I am expected to do male roles as well as my feminine roles. To do men's work whilst the man around does nothing. Yeah... I stopped that.
I love wearing dresses, heels, make-up and pampering myself.
I will say this, I feel most feminine when I am free and bave freedom. When I take care of my skin, my body, my mental health, relaxing, creating something beautiful and enjoying my hobbies that feed my soul. 🏍🌸
So true, i love riding my vespa so much, it really just calms something down in me, even my dad can see that riding my vespa makes me happy, its really a glow up.
I have been a medic for 40 years, I have a retired police officer in a large inner city for 22. For me wearing a dress, putting on make up wearing heels has always made me feel more feminine. But the real change in my femininity came when I softened my attitude. I smile more and at first it felt fake but now it feels real and I know it’s genuine I speak softer I talk slower, when I used to walk in uniform I walked like the Terminator now I walk slower and I specifically take my time wherever I’m going. When I talk to people, I look him in the eye and I smile as they’re speaking, I’ve learned how to become warm and inviting. Trust and believe if I ever need to bring out who I was in the past, she can come out really fast, and turn into the beast she was, but right now I’m loving my feminine side. it doesn’t have a specific look. It’s what makes you feel soft the feeling is softness. Respectfully ladies. LT Lorrie❤❤
Literally I went thru the same i-need-to-try-more-dresses-to-'reclaim'-my-femininity phase. It made me feel SO uncomfortable in my body, I hated it and then that made me feel like I was somehow a failure at woman-ing. It sounds so stupid and obvious now but it stopped after I realized that dressing more 'masculine' was what I LIKED and made me most comfortable, happy and even sexy feeling in my body because it was aligned with what /I/ liked/wanted instead of what I thought I /should/ like or want. And it doesn't make me feel less 'girly', if anything I feel more so now because I'm at ease and enjoying my own appearance more.
Same! I HATE dresses and other "feminine" clothing, I wear very "masculine" clothing, but somehow I feel the most feminine wearing masculine clothing because it makes me feel happy, comfy, and safe, and I liked how my body looks in them. This automatically brings out my feminine energy. I don't have to look feminine to be feminine 💖
I, ummm, had a lot of rage over my tradwife life and completely got rid of it. What did it for me was looking at my daughters naive, rosy faces and not wanting them to have my miserable, grueling life. Not wanting them to have this intense male/pick-mesha gaze on them so intensely. Funnily enough, I and my daughters started learning about the local flora and restoring our local habitat after that and now we all know and can ID hundreds of plants and my husband LOVES that about us, he thinks it’s so beautiful, he’s in awe of us; I was so surprised (we did it for ourselves). Nymph era!
“Women are creation… but we also are destruction” and THATS on Inanna 🌟
I love my girl hobbies. Baking and sewing are fun and I've started learning to crochet
I feel like society has loaded a lot of negativity in the words feminine and masculine. Growing up in an asian household, I guess I can say it's a blessing to have access to concepts like yin and yang, duality and how in a specific moment in time, a person embodies both energies at once just in different proportions that are constantly changing. Women have both, it's just we are usually yin>yang and men are usually yang>yin and a woman with too much yin and no yang is unhealthy as well as too much yang. It's crazy how a change in terms instantly makes this make more sense and less judgmental, but it's basically what this masculine/feminine conversation is all about.
I’m a punk/goth/alt chick. Thought I wasn’t being feminine enough. I bought some floral dresses but realized through this video that my style is very feminine because I put the patches on myself. I have great costumes, but they convey a tough girl vibe. I girl it up a bit with my extensions
As I said in another comment, dark, gothic, hardcore, punk, metal, emo, grunge, mod, victorian, witchy, alternative... All of them could be super femenine styles. And back is the essence. Coco Chanel, Ditta von Teese, Rooney Mara, Kat von D, Grace Neutral... There are so many sources of inspirations.
The black cat energy it's also a vibe.
Thank you Elle! I really struggle with feeling feminine especially with the work that I do being labeled as “traditionally masculine” (agriculture). I can’t help but feel drawn to this field, the thought of sitting in a cubicle office all day would absolutely drive me insane.
And now that you’ve mentioned the connection to the earth as feminine, I feel better and that I am actually where I’m meant to be.
Although it is feeding consumerism, one way I’ve felt better was to dress in women’s outdoor clothes, instead of unisex. Before, I would cry because I felt as if I looked like a gross manly construction worker. It was really bringing me down. The downside is that women’s clothes are more form fitting and I just feel so unsafe showing my body to the world. I don’t know if it’s porn or men’s loneliness , but I feel really gross/hungry gazes from men even when I’m dressing modestly, but feminine. And it’s terrifying. I don’t feel safe to embrace my full femininity in this world and it’s really unfortunate.
waching this while taking a break from sewing my first ever real lolita dress. I wanted to partake in this sub fashion for the longest time, was not allowed as a teen and now that Im embracing my femininity, myself and just healing my inner child Im getting into it. I can physically feel the healing aspect of this, so yeah, dont be ashamed, the people who shame you are not supposed to be in your life. Be your beautiful feminine self
Omg you showing off your knitted sweaters was too wholesome
That’s true, all the photogenic pictures of women of depictions of women tend to look like they’re just existing with their feminine aura, while the man is offering her everything she could want ! For me, I guess my femininity comes from my hobbies, and my caregiving. And maybe my sexual nature (only with my husband though). I feel very feminine in those spaces. When I cook and clean, personally it doesn’t make me feel feminine, just feels like a chore 😂
Cooking isn't feminine. I feel you❤
Never thought about how rage in feminine but so true. We call it mother nature; the soft rain that waters the crops the heavy thunder storm that drowns. The soft breeze that cools on a hot day, the hurricane winds that rip the roof off.
I love sweats, that’s how I feel most feminine. I feel deserving of receiving comfort
As a crafty lady myself, I love that you are too! You're sweaters look great, and reusing your remnants for scrunchies is fantastic. Keep at it! It used to be that all the women in your family knew how to sew or crochet or knit or something similar. Now, you can't get comprehensive dressmaking or tailoring classes outside a university setting anymore. These arts are being taken from us, yet these skills are so useful and so important.
As for the topic of the video, I needed that validation. I've never been part of a "scene" or an "aesthetic" or the like before. I just like what I like. Sometimes I'm more "girlie" like when I'm crafting, sometimes I'm more "boyish" like when I'm playing video games. I just do me. Over the years, I have struggled with feeling too feminine (and thus "weak") or not feminine enough (and thus less desirable). All of this has been me trying to come to terms with the various ideologies American society has tried to shove down my throat to make me feel bad about myself so I will engage in consumerism to "fix" myself. It's all garbage. I'll figure out who I am on my own. Maybe I'll take some advice from here and some advice from there, but it's ultimately up to me. I'm also within my right to change my mind if one of those pieces of advice turns out to not be my jam.
One of the things I loved the most about the sailor moon series was how the characters didn't have to emulate men in order to be heroines. In modern movies, superhero women seem like they have to embody masculine traits in order to be a superhero, but in the sailor moon series the girls were still 'feminine' (I put that in quotes because I know everyone's idea of feminine is different) while still saving the world.
And they were all feminine in their own way.
Yes, strength and femininity was still intact in the 90s when i grew up and honestly i didn't really struggle with this one particular topic ever. I do find new movies unwatchable tho, femininity (and masculinity) is consciosly destroyed in the media and poor gen z seem to struggle.
If you want to be a trad wife, be a trad wife, if you want to be a girlboss corporate girlie, be a girlboss corporate girlie, if you want the best of both world, you can have the best of both world (which I believe is the case for most women, we are for a majority of time, in between the spectrum). Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot be. Listen to your intuition, take what resonates from the outside, discern, and let your inner spirit guides you.
I love starting my day with coffee and the Spoiled Girlie Support group. ✨This is so refreshing 💖 I felt like I was in my masculine for so long in a cycle of narcissistic abuse and when I started healing and being soft to myself I started really stepping into that feminine energy. Recently I’ve decided to start a TH-cam channel to reconnect with my hobbies like music, reading, podcasts, art, and just unleashing my creative energy and it makes me feel so fulfilled and feminine again even if it’s been a slow start.
Honestly the feminine energy really starts with how you treat yourself on the inside and it starts to show on the outside. You shine differently and you start to appear so much differently 💖🥰
Creating things is one thing that makes me feel feminine whether it is clothes, jewelry or music. Also taking care of my physical appearance is another that makes me feel feminine. I don't wear make up on a daily basis but I am into skincare and growing my natural lashes to nurture the beauty I naturally have
knitting...oh my gosh those tops were adorable. :)
She’s so talented! I would wear 🥰
I was always thought to be strong and tough, to power through. I'm done! I want to put myself first. I'm over it. ✨✨
Ugh i needed this because im so caught between i want a HUSBAND and to be apoiled but i hate cleaning organizing ill need a maid too but i have sooo much creativity i paint make clothes love to cook (hate the dishes) and i LOVE shopping and styling but i refuse to be a house servant for a mediocre man
Same girl. When you get a hubby, outsource everything that takes away from your happiness x
Same here. I feel the exact same struggle. I want love and stability with a good man but don't want to believe that this love has to look like servitude to a mediocre man.
We are not made for servitude. Maybe knowing this is good enough for now. The rest will follow.
I have been thinking about the concept of feminine rage lately, and i am fascinated by it. She has voiced everything I have thought about it.
The Goddess Kali seems like a good representation of female rage. She's powerful and destructive but not considered evil. She channels dark and chaotic energy and wears the heads of her defeated enemies around her neck. But on the other hand she is one of the few deities in Hinduism that can grant wishes. She is also prayed to for protection from evil. And Kali's rage is stopped by Shiva who throws himself at her feet.
What an interesting deity, isn't it? 😅
Yes girl yes 👏
Sewing IS my life
Many textiles arts are female coded💅 Dancing always also reconnects me to my divine feminine 💃
the concept of feminine rage and then the transmutation of that into destruction energy is ever manifested so magnificently in the themes of Goddess MahaKali, who is both divine mother and a fearsome destroyer. At the same time upon understanding and deference by her husband God Shiva himself she returns to her most feminine being as Parvati.
So often mythology is really a reflection of the society.
Anyways I LOVED THIS UPDATE so much keep the good work going Elle.
And to other spoiled Girlies Happy Women's Day, lets get PAID
I love the emphasis on what you love equallig your femininity. What I really love is dealing with logic (mathematics, reasoning, constraint based design) but just because I love fashion and beauty more than the people around me I was pigeonholed from childhood into occupationally pursuing the things I just wanted to be hobbies! Ironically I am now feeling my most feminine now being empowered to become an electrician!
I love crochet. My grandmother taught me the basics over 30 years ago and it really helps with my anxiety. I can sit and watch a show and crochet something for myself or someone else. Its so nice.
“The artifacts do not make the woman” 🗣️🗣️🗣️
This is insanely insightful. I totally agree with your view of femininity. Growing up, I thought I wasn't "feminine" because I didn't "dress like a woman". People told me I "looked like a man" compared to anyone around me. I'm glad to have my feelings reassured not just by myself, but to hear someone else who really gets it say it. I can't tell you how much more energetic and happy I feel when I wear what I want and allow myself to do what I really want to do.
Ahhh the timing!
Happy International Women’s Day Elle & fellow spoiled girlies🤭💌🥂
Recently I started doing my makeup, I got really good at it especially given I’ve never experimented with makeup my entire life (F19) and I let my hair down (I got curly hair and I usually braid it so I’m just letting it loose) and oh my god it’s like nights and day, both socially and internally.
Before I put any makeup on people would already call me a model but now every other person at my job is telling my I’m beautiful and girrrl these men have basically no poker face around me now, and I feel so feminine! My inner monologue has become so much more positive and I’m much more relaxed.
I used to not put any effort into my looks and now that I’m taking the time to pamper myself I’ve started appreciating myself way more, I hope every woman wakes up to their power!!! I’m never going back :)
Honestly, a lot of this is not that different from learning to unmask as a late diagnosed/high masking autistic person. Love this so much. ❤❤❤
That's a really interesting take on this and I am inclined to agree!
sorry this isn't completely related but THIS is what was missing from katara in the live action avatar, her feminine rage. they tried to fit her into this girlboss archetype but smoothed over everything else that made her such a special character to me and many others. as a matter of fact, it was her rage at her sexist, narrow-minded brother which was the catalyst for the whole story starting. she was both creation and destruction in that moment. i absolutely love how through the three main girl characters, katara, azula and toph, we see three different shades of femininity.
I absolutely LOVE crocheting!! Literally one of the best hobbies I’ve decided to do!!
Elle! I love your channel. I have been so confused by other women and the way they don’t take care of their beauty. Femininity is your most important attribute. My mother did everything to make me feel inadequate she was so masculine. I am naturally feminine she tried to make me seem useless. Thank you for these truths! I never went along with the program but I would have thrived more and been more productive if I wasn’t being devalued every fucking day!🤬🧿💖
There are a lot of things I thought weren’t for me bc my mom didn’t like them: hot baths with epsom salt and essential oils (girl - I do this once a week now), exercise (weight lifting, walking, jogging, tai chi and yoga - I even tried judo bc my husband is into it), facials and mani/pedis, makeup, and more feminine clothing that fits my figure. I learned how to play music and hone my music craft and singing from my dad. Music is to me neutral coded but it’s the thing that fills my cup the most in addition to writing novels 💖 and listening to music + reading… creative input and output if that makes sense. Feel free to Grow into yourself 💕 There’s nothing wrong with women for liking masculine coded things either… my sister LOVES cars and racing. I think that’s cool, too!
Tara, also known as the female Buddha, has several embodiments including "Wrathful Tara". I encourage my female besties to look her up. There's a temple called Tara Mandala in Pagosa Springs, CO dedicated to Tara. It was started by the first American female to be ordained as a Tibetan Buddhist nun. They also offer retreats dedicated to the Divine Feminine. I've personally vetted this place. It's legit legit.
I’m a woman, but I enjoy both the more feminine activities (drawing, playing with my pets) and masculine activities (video games, doing chores for my family).
Doing chores for the family is masculine? I must be hallucinating women doing 99% of all the domestic labor in the world. lol
Why do you think they have to be categorised in 'feminine' or 'masculine' ???????????
Why do video games have to be masculine? I think that just perpetuates the idea that women shouldn't exist in that space.
@@gvsmani4810 the whole video is about categorizing feminine and masculine things
@@l.s.d.5863 Ok true. Doing labor/chores is more feminine.
"Don't get mad, get paid because anger and bitterness, it's not my birthright" - and that is now my fav quote☺
As an engineering student myself , whatever I do feels feminine to me , I code , I skate , I paint and I just enjoy life
Afterall no matter What I do I feel feminine energy , I do give breaks to myself and love to dress too but tomboy girlies are also feminine to me .😁
Yoga has really made me feel my peace, understand my body, move with intention, and connect with the energy inside of me and think of how that impacts what I project outward. You don't need money for yoga, it's for everyone and is there for you if you're there for yourself.
Being feminine... My personal struggle. Life experienced me in the way to be tough and strong, not soft to myself or to the world. My therapy is helping me changing it. Being overweight as a child also didn't help to find your feminine side. I love those videos ❤️
Ps. I want to add that taking care of plants helps me. I started wkth buying flowers every week, some time ago I bought mint and I want to go into gardering ❤️
I can't even express how much I've needed a video like this. Femininity is so much more complex and dynamic than the image we're force-fed. And I KNOW that feeling: of being a woman, knowing I'm a woman and yet being made to feel by society that I'm not womanly and have to work at it or be extra or go against what works for me. Thank you for this, from the bottom of my heart. Oh, also? I legit squealed when I saw your knitwear! It was all so pretty, that baby blue top was to die for, Elle!
It is indeed so much more complex. Most modern sources have little of it. Anthropology of traditions oriented around women is very interesting and often far more nuanced.
I wanna say I absolutely love your content and recommend it to my sisters and even my mom to watch. I've learned so much from you and my life is better for it. So thank you for putting this out there!
Question though: would it be possible to get a Spoiled Girlie reading list? You recommend so many interesting books it would be nice to look into them as well.
Trying to be a good student! 🤪
Women need to connect to their creativity and the earth. Actually as a high functioning woman managing education and work, it does feel like nothing but trying to break into male dominated industries, I wonder why I have to do this. But in reality there is no other better choice. I am all for the soft life but we have to survive in this wild world. My idea is to use my soft life where ever possible to preserve that sense of connection to my inner most authentic self.
OMG Girl! That cardigan is SUPER CUTE! You did SUCH a great JOB! LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!
Love this sooo much. Also love the commentary on how rage is in fact creation. In destroying you are in fact opening new doors for yourself and creating space for new growth. Everything exists on a scale. Destruction and creation are the same coin, just different sides.
I love knitting, crochet and sewing as well! I was always a fan of vintage couture sewing so that was what I have focussed on and I love it! It also makes you more discerning when it comes to shopping for clothes because you know about fabrics and sewing techniques so you can spot good quality a mile away.
I've been a Tailor for over 20 years. And I've been teaching middle school and high school students in an after-school program part time. And I love to make my own clothes in my off time too. I would love to answer any of your sewing related questions..I love your channel . I just showed my mom your video about hospice wives yesterday.
Thank you for reminding us how powerful WE are as a woman , your follower from Tunisia 🇹🇳 , love you❤❤❤
the way I smiled when skillshare ads come up, because ABOUT TIME girly pops get some of that bag!!!!
I just wanna have a bookstore coffee shop bakery and live in peace taking care of my family ❤
I just realised that most of the time our wonderful ladies stress that they had to channel masculinity to survive and get to a point where they can think of reclaiming their femininity. It seems like hustling and working on our dreams while in a male dominated surrounding demands that you abandon your femininity to have a chance to *exist* in that atmosphere. Surely, a secured environment nourishes femininity but my concern is, can we still remain in our feminine energy when the given circumstances don't feel so safe to be ourselves? Why must masculinity be solely associated with leadership and femininity as the submissive one?
I love that."you are most feminine when you are yourself"
I love the bit about FEMININE RAGE. When working to build your dream life and overcome obstacles and stay disciplined… we may feel we need to be angrier to avoid complacency. But feminine rage is not merely emotion, it’s motion. With anger we may risk losing some of ourselves in leaning into masculinity. Rage acknowledges our agency and complexity. Rage destroys so that we pave the way to better things, and it allows us to move forward.
Medusa energy 🌋
Skirts and dresses for me are symbols of the religious oppression I had to live under for more than 20 years. What I really like are Iron Rangers and overalls, and no man or woman is going to shame me into a dress ever again.
Good for you! I was forced to wear skirts as well. The first time I was able to wear pants I felt free and secure in my body. I was able to move without worrying about my hemline coming up by accident. Now I only wear skirts for warm weather if I feel like it. No more cold, wind-burned legs!
@@Maria-ow8pk I had zero fashion sense when I left because of so many years being trapped inside my body and being shamed for being a woman. I’m still learning what I like to wear, and appreciating other women’s sense of style so much.
Same girl! 👏👏I felt like a prisoner inside myself and my body was not my own. I also appreciate fashion and beauty! I used to hide and cover up but I've been growing and getting out of my comfort zone bit by bit each year. 💄🪞✨@@artemisia4718
I came out of that a few years ago. I split up with my ex-fiance and left the Church in 2018, realizing that I don't want to be like these people. I spent way too long trying to fit in with people who I realized were not good people.
In 2019, I went back to school. I graduated in 2022 and went from making $30k to $100k. I moved into my first solo apartment and spent the last year and a half learning about myself.
So I have domestic skills, sure. It's the domesticated femininity not the fashionable feminity. But "womanhood", I don't know. I don't know how to define womanhood for myself outside of toxic baggage. Being labeled a woman feels like pressure to fit into a certain mold. So I dropped it.
So I retained the aspects of feminity I liked but dropped the womanhood. I also am coming into my masculinity more, both in my career and in dating women and I like it. I think everyone finds their balance.
Yes 💖 I am ambitious and confident, compassionate and in tune with my emotions, intelligent and charismatic, entrepreneur and caretaker, yin and yang ☯️ Be and love yourself! ✨ 💕 Love you, Besties xoxo 😘
Finally putting words to what I've been feeling. It's all about being a natural, earth-connected, spirirual woman or human.
love that part about rage! 🔥
Eldritch feminine fury is natural. It is also a threat…
I like to clean my space make sure it’s all decorated to how I want it but note it’s my space so I hate sharing with other people who dirty it and I end up a maid cleaning after everyone, at the end of the week from working I like to take time to deep clean my apartment and make sure it looks and feels right. Finally decorating to my style and not following anyone else’s. I noe it’s weird but for a long time I could not even decorate my bedroom to how I wanted it to without my mom and especially dad throwing my decorations away or putting up God posters in place of drawing I had made and put up. So creating my safe space is important.
Your knits are gorgeous 🥹 sewing is rough sometimes an underrated lifesaver: When you thread or rethread your machine keep the presser foot UP. No more clogging ❤ And change your needles often. LOVE YEW
This is by far the most helpful thing about femininity I have ever seen.
It´s so so encouraging to see a young woman being so unapologetically honest and amazing. Im learning so much, things are falling into place watching your channel. It´s like I always knew these things on some level it but couldn´t put it together. Thank you so very much!
Whenever I felt stuck in a male coded environment, I subconsciously started doing feminine stuff to balance my energy. I'm realizing that just now watching you bestie Guru Manifestelle❤! I immigrated to the US 12 years ago and worked at my moms hair salon. The women in there were masculine, worked really hard, and looked deadeyed. I worked just as hard there to pay my way through college while navigating my way through college. But the whole time, I always had headphones one, danced while doing anything!!!, shopped, experienced with different fashion styles, and I even taught Zumba. I thing when it comes to maintaining one's femininity in a male coded world. We women need to trust our instincts more. We are of nature; it's in us. We're inherently connected to the source. For instance it doesn't matter how shit life is, being near water in a woddy environment heals me like magic. It always has. I'm a Pisces with a cancer moon 😂
A little late.. but OMG Love this!! Lately I was thinking how to get into my feminine energy!!! This couldn't be any more perfectttt! the timing is french kiss
I'm so grateful for this channel. I feel most feminine when I get to spend time by myself. I'll go on an hr walk/run on the beach or a leisurely nature walk where God speaks to my heart. Being able to be with myself is me pouring into me.
I just want to say that, if you are born to fit perfectly in the "mold", that's fine too. Don't feel bad about it and love doing what you do!
"Why am I apologizing?!" Yeah hun why ARE you apologizing? 🤣
We getting some grade A material here for free, I sure as hecccc aint about to complain about it being "too long". This is crucial info right here!
Yay girlie hobbies! 💙👑
Yassss🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
I have come to see myself as a concentric circle. There will be layers of different things around me but the core will always be a kind and loving feminin woman who will forever grow her circles... ❤
I love creating... I miss drawing, painting, sculpting, and writing. I think reorganize my space and and life, let myself create again. 😅
You have a good balance of both Feminine and Masculine even though you only talk about the feminine energy. At the end of the day, I do believe it’s a balance of both energies. Have a nice day ❤
Love that sponsors are finally noticing great content!!!
22:22
Yup
I don’t draw or write to keep up with house chores
Glad it’s not “ocd”!
Elle, you are literally a divine and blessed presence on this app. love you bestie and thank you for being a part of me waking up. i’m always gonna have your back 💋