My observation from watching couples talk about their restoration from infideity is that the unfaithful can talk non stop and even giggle about their infedilty while the betrayed spouse is still fighting back tears talking about their spouse's infidelity 20 years later.
Thank you for watching our video. And thank you for your comments. Infidelity and any betrayal is difficult for those who experience it. And it has been our experience that individuals get different levels of healing as they go along through life. Especially when individuals choose to surrender more to God, forgive themselves and others and make choices to move forward. God is a healer!
I adore Heather and Rusty's testimony. They have given me so much hope for mine. The Holy Spirit gave me the word restoration. My whole life has changed now that I am chasing Jesus. I am leaning on Him heavily through my storm. Even though I miss my husband and desire restoration more than anything, I'm thankful for this pain because now I've met Jesus ❤️ Satan cannot have my marriage. My husband is a gift from God and I'm praying every day that he will seek the face of Jesus.
@@TheNobleMarriage also your testimony was beautiful as well! Jesus is showing me that He can restore the completely broken. I'm praying so hard He will come to my rescue.
That husband is going to be sorry, once a cheater, always a cheater, she will break h is heart again, I feel bad for him and the kids.@@TheNobleMarriage
Thank you guys, I needed to hear this. I need help, I pray that I can start healing soon. I just don't know what to do. I thank God for Jesus because I can't even imagine dealing with this situation without Him. Thank you Jesus. Please keep doing what you guys are doing. You have given me hope.
Yes grieving the a big part! Yes My husband came home 2 1/2 months ago . He was talking with a woman far away (thank God) online -emotional affair. It was all God that got him out of that- he repented and sorrowful! However now I’m going through some triggers? Like a delayed reaction- like if he says something about his life last summer? I think ugh when he was talking to her! It just comes out of the blue! Even triggers that come just like an arrow- out of no where! So please pray for me! I need Gods healing! ❤
I am being so encouraged by your podcasts. Thank you for what you guys do! As I am listening to this couple story when he says that God told him that he had permission to leave but God was asking him to stay, I had to pause as I began crying because years ago God told me the same exactly thing with almost those same words! I’ve been believing for restoration for 10 years. I believe God is just about to do a miracle for my marriage and family and his words reminded me of what God asked of me and I know He will be faithful save my husband and restore my marriage. God bless you abundantly ❤
Hey, thank you for posting this vulnerable post. We come into agreement and pray for a restoring of your marriage and that Gods will be done in your hearts and lives in Jesus name.
I didn’t really hear anything about any consequences she had to face within her marriage for devastating her husband with the ultimate betrayal. Didn’t hear much about her having to earn her way back into the marriage. Didn’t hear much about her having to do the heavy work to attempt to rebuild trust and to make real atonement to her husband. She realized her sin against God and repented. That’s great, but that doesn’t solve the destruction and devastation. she did to her marriage and her husband. That has to be atoned for directly with her husband, and requires major work on her part to earn her way back. Doesn’t sound like he did much of anything to restructure things in their marriage, require consequences and boundaries. This guy just seems like a doormat. And that’s sad.
@@TheDudeInAZ unfortunately, this happens a lot. Men and women in marriage want to experience dating and sex with others, find out the grass isn't greener, and want back in. Jesus is being used to let them back into the original marriage. It's very grieving, and there was a reason adultery was capital punishment.
What does sitting in it look like? What do the conversations and questions sound like that’s productive and healthy to have? Are very specific questions about the details healthy questions to be asking/answering? In my personal experience knowing all the details doesn’t help heal anyone in the situation.
Thank you for this comment and questions. It's very tricky with questions that come up for the unfaithful spouse because you are right, certain details are not healthy and will haunt you for months once you know. We created a program just for this question and it has great insight and sample questions on healthy questions to ask your spouse. ITs our Walking Through Betrayal Program and I highly recommend it for anyone going through Betrayal. It's great for the initial steps of healing after betrayal. ~Adelle thenoblemarriage.com/marriage-academy-programs
I understand what Heather means about doing it all over again in order to find Jesus. But honestly I don’t think I would ever put my wife through all the pain I caused her to find Jesus. Don’t get me wrong I love Jesus, but I don’t think I could ever see the pain that’s ingrained in my mind from seeing my wife so hurt. But I do understand. Thank you for sharing this testimony.
Totally: I look back at my past also and I think I am so grateful I’ve been able to walk through that and on the other side and learned and let go of so much. And if there were a possibility to go back, I would be a better decision maker and avoid hurting so many people around me because of my choices. Thank you for sharing
Praying that my wife has a supernatural experience, and God draws her back to him and then back to our marriage. I hope she wakes up and realizes she already has all her dreams right in front of her. I love 0:21 her and will continue stand for her.
Amen, we come in agreement with this prayer and pray that God brings your wife back and restores your marriage and hearts! Thank you for watching and continuing to follow along!
If only my husband who's cheating again would say this kind of thing. 20 years married, a 10, 7 and 1 year old and I saw on social media he's in Mexico with his mistress who KNOWS he's married. This is his 3rd affair and he filed divorce and served me on valentines day and told me he loved me that morning and was intimate with me. I'm letting go. He's sick. God will work on him according to his will because I don't know this man anymore. Stay at home mom and he refuses to help with groceries but already spent $1800 on his credit cards alone on this other woman and will not answer my calls or texts in regard to kids school supplies and groceries. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten sick in the bathroom this is spiritual warfare. I want our. Jesus take the wheel. This is toxic.
@@eileenfuentes6975 I’m truly sorry that you are going through all of this. It is tragic how people can become so self destructive and try to destroy the blessings right in front of them. Please get a good support group of a few people to help you get through these difficult times. Stay focused on God and his promises. Do not let the enemy win. Only we can let these situations ruin us. Believe me, I’m preaching to myself. Be obedient to God and work on being the best version of you. How you respond affects your children. Make sure you set the best example possible. I know it is not easy but over time we will reap a harvest. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:9-10 NIV bible.com/bible/111/gal.6.9-10.NIV
@@curtisharmon8978 i’ve been standing for over a year. Never in 1 million years that I think that would ever happen with the relationship that we had, but the enemy becomes the steel killing destroy. I will continue to fight for my family in a loving, godly way. It’s not easy, but it’s the right thing to do, if you have children, it’s the best hope for their future marriages to at least see one parent doing everything they can to save the covenant that they have with God. My heart breaks, I have a good days and bad days. I still ball out my eyes on many days. The pain is real, but God is a good God and he hears our prayers. He wants to restore our marriages. I know there’s a lot of stuff that has to be cleaned up in my wife’s heart and I have to believe that he is working on her at some point in time, she will realize the insanity of her choices right now. She has a man that still loves her after 27 years, even when she has put him through some of the hardest times in the last year and a half. I will pray for you, my friend God bless you.
This is really what you need for your marriage the Love of God and forgiving each other . God forgive your sin so your husband his role of forgiving , and now your marriage is better than before . Just don’t go back sort of sin
I've seen hundreds and hundreds of testimonies. When is it going to be my turn I'm gonna be standing longer than my marriage lasted. Starting to think it's not worth it. I need Help
I appreciate people who will share and try to give hope to others going through this. Stories of grace and forgiveness are important. However, these stories are almost completely lacking in any conversation about how the betrayer demonstrated remorse to their wounded partner and worked to rebuild trust. People need to hear that part because there is no real healing and a much longer road to forgiveness and health without it. If interviewees can’t express that, and interviewers won’t ask, how much repentance has really taken place? Some of these stories feel like a betrayed party showing remarkable grace and everyone celebrating that as healthy Christian recovery without any real demonstration of remorse by the betrayed for the hurt caused. Just a lot of talk about the slippery slope into sin and then grace shows up and how wonderful that is and God’s power. Videos that address the rebuilding part would be a lot more realistic, helpful and hopeful.
Thank you for sharing this comment. This is just one story of many we have on our channel. We have an entire series that talks about what the betrayer needs to do to earn trust back in the relationship and it’s a powerful series. I’ll put a link here for you. Please check out and subscribe to our channel. Every week we release more videos to help both the betrayed and betrayer move forward in a healthy, God honoring way. I encourage you to not make judgments based on 1 story and how God led them to share. In this video, This couple has a powerful testimony and are now serving God and helping other couples heal. This is a powerful testimonial that they did do the work needed for both hearts to heal. It breaks my heart to see so many harsh comments about their story when this is only a portion of what they went through. Thank you for watching and continuing your own healing from the pain you’ve experienced in your marriage! th-cam.com/play/PL_qjPvk2kzzlglG_iejC9U_b5GWwSNoRM.html&si=9JF3MCn7RzGzt6EU
@@TheNobleMarriage the content you develop deals with this aspect. My point is that none of the interviewees address it in any significant way and it isn’t asked. It leaves a false impression of recovery from this type of betrayal when real couples, many of whom minister to others, skip from the betrayal, to discovery, to forgiveness like it’s a linear path and you never hear them mention the path from regret to remorse to rebuilding trust. If I were a betrayed spouse looking for hope from these interviews, I would conclude that almost no betrayer understands the importance of demonstrating their remorse. They simply want forgiveness to alleviate their guilt so they can talk about how beautiful second chances are. This is true of almost every Christian couple I’ve heard give these testimonies. It’s not judgmental to say true remorse from the offending spouse is an important part of healing and that if you watch an entire series of “real couple” videos and it’s barely mentioned, that is a problem. The claim that true and deep healing without it doesn’t ring true. And if their heart was to truly help restore people’s relationships you would think they would mention one of the key elements if they themselves understood how critical it was. As a Christian, and someone whose parent’s marriage was impacted by this mess, I can tell you having testimonies that address this aspect would help many couples. Too many just blame sin (true, but no accountability for their role), talk a little about how they drifted from God during that time, then discovery and tears, then forgiveness and a little speech about how the betrayer is worthy of love and isn’t defined by their past. Queue the worship band and alter call so Jesus can save their marriage. The betrayed party’s experience, and the betraying party’s role in helping them recover, is never mentioned or, if it is, it’s a bit part in the overall drama. So, the content you develop is good but these interviewees leave a lot to be desired, at least from the perspective of the betrayed party.
@@matthartsook2147I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are going live on TH-cam Wednesday because of this question and we will address it then! We AGREE WITH YOU 100% Praise God for you opening our eyes to this!
My wife out me out for financial reasons, and parentimg differences, and communication issues. I find these stories to be very difficult because I did not cheat, I was working hard at least I think I was at being a good and even better man, both of us are believers but yet she has put me iut and blocked me on the phone and on all socail media. I am standing and oraying daily for my marriage though. Please pray with me for total restoration of my marriage. Iiss my wife so much.
I want to thank you for sharing vulnerably. I pray for both you and your spouses eyes, ears, hearts, and minds to be open to the Spirit of Truth and that any veil of the evil one will be removed in the name of Jesus. Amen. I come into agreement with you. Amen .
How does a man get past the intrusive thoughts of his wife being with the other man?! How do you not constantly visualize him doing things to and with her?! I can only assume he was part of their church circle now you have to see his face on a regular basis?!
Thank you for this comment and your vulnerability. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. However it is a normal experience where the enemy has a playground with our minds. I pray Gods supernatural peace over your thoughts and mind in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7) Also pray this prayer out loud. It helps. Over and over th-cam.com/video/KbbbMpVqzq8/w-d-xo.htmlsi=N9Zk9Zaz5H8-upRh
Having a memory is a not the enemy. These videos never seem to address the importance of trustworthiness, humility and a demonstrated change of heart from the betrayer. Healing the relationship and moving past those triggers requires humility, consistency, and dedication over time from the betraying party. Empathy, warmth, and dedication are incredibly healing. Without those, the betrayed part has a much more difficult path to forgiveness. Yet these videos spend so much time talking about the power of sin and forgiveness, and almost no time on what the betrayer needs to do to help heal the wound they’ve created. That’s a huge gap.
God will restore my marriage I don’t want to help people after I get through what I’m going through after everything happens and my marriage is completely restore
I’m praying for full restoration in your marriage and both your individual lives as well. One thing I know is that God loves to write stories He can be seen in so he gets all the credit. And the power of the testimony is so great. Thank you for watching and sharing.
I believe they went to Hope Restored Intensive. We also have intensives that are for lasting healing. You can check out more about it here: thenoblemarriage.com/marriage-intensives
She still doesn't respect him, it's all about (from her mouth) I, I I, me, me, me. Her talking was 90% to his %10. She never took accountability. She never considered the impact it made on her husband. She never addressed his pain. You can tell just by looking in his eyes that he's still broken. She even said that she would do it all over again, just to find Jesus. Well, clearly she hasn't found Him, because it's still all about her, and if she had in fact found Him, then the very thought of doing it again would appal and disgust her. But no, its all about her. She never addressed his pain, nor does she stop talking over him. Her disrespect for her husband is the very reason why she cheated in the first place. If she didn't get caught would she have stopped? No. Definitely not, because it was all about her, and her husband didn't matter until she needed healing. So instead, her husband's pain and hurt was put on the back burner and invalidated, to once again meet her needs, to the point where even now she sees no wrong in it, and that she's the victim. What about her husband? You can see his pain. You can see how much he loves her, but that he was never given the right, nor the grace to heal properly because it was all about her, and still is. Very sad indeed.
I see what you’re talking about when they speak only about themselves and how their betrayal caused so much embarrassment and shame to themselves it becomes obvious there’s no repentance for deeply hurting the husband and if their infidelity wasn’t DISCOVERED the betrayal would have likely continued. The reason she “sat through it” with him was that she wanted to keep the family together for the kids and out of pride. Someone PLEASE tell me how this type of situation plays out!
I also see what you're saying. The hurt in his eyes breaks my heart and it's as if she doesn't even notice. ??? Cheaters are super selfish people who think of themselves and dismiss the future impact, living in the now moment. It's very fortunate people like these couples have so much family and support around them. Most of us struggling don't have that. It's a lonely road to walk with doubt and despair. No wonder people want to kill themselves. I completely understand... poor souls. I'm glad God restored these couples lives. My heart breaks for those of us who are less fortunate 💔... please Jesus help us too.
Its been 11 years, she cant be still grovelling, she said she realised that what she had done was a sin against God, how much more repentant than that should she be? When she said I, I, I, was where she was owning up to her part in falling into the affair , i havent heard her give a single excuse except that she went into sin. She even says when she looks back she is appalled, at the 52nd minute i havent heard her once speak over him. If he has forgiven her, shouldnt we all?
@jwaugh319 Thank you for your comment on this video. I can see your hurting heart and that your comment actually has nothing to do with the video but rather to do with your own pain. I am sorry that you didn't feel respected and that your spouse didnt take accountability for the impact it had on you. I know that your pain is great because this story is a story of redemption and a marriage that is healthy and thriving. Sometimes when we have been wounded by someone deeply we see our own story in others examples and it brings the pain back to the surface as if the stories are similar. This is a normal experience and just know that we are sorry for your pain. The couple in this story has done the very hard work to heal and are both following after God and leading a ministry to help other couples walking this road also. I want to encourage you that you dont have to wait on your spouse to get your own healing. You deserve to find lasting healing! Please check out this powerful program we created with you in mind. I pray your heart is restored in Jesus name and that you are covered in peace and strength as you walk your own healing journey. programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/Sp2C2WjG
@cspd3522 Thank you for your comment here. when betrayal comes out, no matter how it comes out, there are many emotions that a couple goes through and shame and embarrassment are not uncommon to experience. However, this does not indicate the posture of the betrayers heart towards their spouse. In this story, Rusty and Heather are sharing how they started out--lost and then Jesus did a number on both of them. This is a story of redemption and healing. Sometimes the motives that initially keep a couple together are selfish motives and yet, God will gracefully reorganize the motives where He sees needed and that's the case in this story. It's a beautiful story of pain and redemption that is only possible with God. Nothing else can accomplish this kind of healing and transformation. I pray if you have been wounded by betrayal, that you also find lasting healing to the pain you have endured. I pray God restores you heart and makes it whole again in Jesus name. Only He can do that. No-one and nothing will fix the God-sized whole that you are experiencing and I just encourage you to take it to him! If you are seeking healing, please take a look at our Becoming Whole & Complete program. It was created to help individuals who have experienced betrayal or pain and guide you to find lasting healing. You are worth it! programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/Sp2C2WjG/checkout
I committed the adultery (didn’t have sex but tried) would it be wrong of me to send this to my husband? She literally sounds just like me down to the pride
I think it would be a great idea to send to your husband when done in the right way. You could share that you would like him to watch this because you got a lot out of it and can really see yourself in this story. Ask him if he would be willing to watch it and see if he relates to this story as well. You also could share that it has made a big difference for you and hope it does the same for him. Hope this helps. I love your heart in trying to connect and wanting to do it the right way! ~Adelle
thank you for your comment. I imagine you have experienced some pain and trauma similar to this couples story. I pray that you find the healing you deserve and that God will restore your heart! This story is a powerful story of healing and I assure you she has a lot of remorse from the pain she caused and has done the work to heal her marriage. I pray you experience the same!
Same old same old story. Married young had kids quickly life is tough , husband busy bla bla bla. Another guy’s 🍌 was just so good she had to try it. He’s there for the kids and most of the church is not helpful. Those who advised him to leave were right. 11 years on he still has triggers. Should have left her if he had the money and resources. Kids are older now he has no obligations to stay with her. He can stay we can all say what an excellent guy he is. Buts that’s it. Just that.
Thank you for sharing where you are and how this is impacted you. It’s important to know that this video is not the whole story and they have a beautiful relationship and marriage now. They have done the hard work to heal and honor God through their mistakes in the past. I am sorry for what you have been through and my encouragement is to keep watching our channel. It is FULL of great videos to help individuals heal from the pain of unfaithfulness. We are in a series right now that is our background story and how unfaithfulness even begins. It goes far deeper than this couples story in this video. I’ll post the link below and pray you receive the healing God died on the cross for you to have! th-cam.com/play/PL_qjPvk2kzzk5I-CjIJZsXi0UJCZHkRcF.html&si=DhrVJ24UzOhnHE-k
My husband left me 8 months ago (well I put him out) for a younger woman after 35 years of marriage. I just couldn’t put up with his behavior anymore. I still love him and I am heart broken. We were together more than half our lives and I thought it would be forever🥲The whole family and our 31 year old son are just so shocked at what he’s doing. It’s just not him at all but he seems to be totally bewitched from this other woman. I hope and pray that god leads him back home where he belongs.
Yes. The enemy is real and is like a roaring lion. He has come to steal, kill and destroy. I’m so sorry to hear this. We pray for healing in both of your hearts and open eyes, ears, hearts and minds in this.
hey, I don't usually comment on stuff like this. But I was like your husband back in 2009-2011. God supernaturally visited me back in 2011 causing me to completely stopped cheating. My marriage didn't survive, we actually broke up and got divorce in 2023, but not because of me. I'm a 100% strong Christian since my visitation with Jesus, my ex is the one now that left God. Crazy. She was a strong christian, I was a cheater. Now I'm the strong Christian and she left God and us. But God is in control. Anyway, God can change your husband's heart. God did it to me and I'm a great redeemed Godly man, great father and I love Jesus. So keep praying. Anything is possible with God. Blessings!
@PatriciaStowasser I have a feeling that he is coming back, so just wait a little bit before you introduce another man in your life. Children should learn at school to conduct healthy marital lives in their physical, mental, and social dimensions. They should learn the importance of honesty in these issues. Unfortunately, there is a systematic attack on the marriage institution, monogamy, and family values.
I wish you well, I truly do. But an adulterous woman will not change her ways. I pray for you and your family. When she betrays you again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Especially since there is no mention of how her affair affected her husband, children, and damaged her Christian witness. The Christian church ignores the pain of betrayed men. And they wonder why men have left Christianity in droves and the pews are filled with feminist
Thank you for sharing your perspective. However I respectfully don’t agree. After being married to someone who was unfaithful, restoring our marriage has been the best thing for both of our lives. Jesus is a miracle worker and he loves using broken people who have walked this road to help others get the healing they deserve too. Heather was transformed by Jesus in a moments time and her marriage has been completely restored to even better than it was before. I’ve had the same experience in my own marriage. Betrayal is what SAVED my marriage. Not everyone learns their lesson and has a wake up call, but those that do, they live a life of passion, transparency and openness. This is what makes it beautiful on the other side of restoration.
Amen. The same. Takes work and no self justification. Hard work no one wants to do or accept, easy to call it. But it has it responsibilty from the cheater to do much more than expected without expecting
Men cheat for sex, it is wrong, but that is the reason. Women cheat at an emotional level, they intentionally want to hurt others because of their “feelings “, their cheating is at a deeper more cruel level @@starrangel0
My observation from watching couples talk about their restoration from infideity is that the unfaithful can talk non stop and even giggle about their infedilty while the betrayed spouse is still fighting back tears talking about their spouse's infidelity 20 years later.
Thank you for watching our video. And thank you for your comments. Infidelity and any betrayal is difficult for those who experience it. And it has been our experience that individuals get different levels of healing as they go along through life. Especially when individuals choose to surrender more to God, forgive themselves and others and make choices to move forward. God is a healer!
To me she looks pretty ashamed while rusty’s speaking on his pov..
I adore Heather and Rusty's testimony. They have given me so much hope for mine. The Holy Spirit gave me the word restoration. My whole life has changed now that I am chasing Jesus. I am leaning on Him heavily through my storm. Even though I miss my husband and desire restoration more than anything, I'm thankful for this pain because now I've met Jesus ❤️
Satan cannot have my marriage. My husband is a gift from God and I'm praying every day that he will seek the face of Jesus.
We adore them also.
Thanks for the comment. We are praying over this and that Gods will be done.
@@TheNobleMarriage also your testimony was beautiful as well! Jesus is showing me that He can restore the completely broken. I'm praying so hard He will come to my rescue.
Wow! Thank you so much for the kind words! We will be praying for you and your husband. What an awesome testimony you have - keep chasing Jesus!
That husband is going to be sorry, once a cheater, always a cheater, she will break h is heart again, I feel bad for him and the kids.@@TheNobleMarriage
Thank you guys, I needed to hear this. I need help, I pray that I can start healing soon. I just don't know what to do. I thank God for Jesus because I can't even imagine dealing with this situation without Him. Thank you Jesus. Please keep doing what you guys are doing. You have given me hope.
Thank you for this comment and for watching this video.
I pray that God will heal your heart and that His Will be done in your life.
Yes grieving the a big part! Yes My husband came home 2 1/2 months ago . He was talking with a woman far away (thank God) online -emotional affair. It was all God that got him out of that- he repented and sorrowful! However now I’m going through some triggers? Like a delayed reaction- like if he says something about his life last summer? I think ugh when he was talking to her! It just comes out of the blue! Even triggers that come just like an arrow- out of no where! So please pray for me! I need Gods healing! ❤
I am being so encouraged by your podcasts. Thank you for what you guys do!
As I am listening to this couple story when he says that God told him that he had permission to leave but God was asking him to stay, I had to pause as I began crying because years ago God told me the same exactly thing with almost those same words! I’ve been believing for restoration for 10 years. I believe God is just about to do a miracle for my marriage and family and his words reminded me of what God asked of me and I know He will be faithful save my husband and restore my marriage. God bless you abundantly ❤
We are praying and believing with you!
Amen! Thanks Rusty and Heather for praying over them! God bless you guys.
Hey, thank you for posting this vulnerable post. We come into agreement and pray for a restoring of your marriage and that Gods will be done in your hearts and lives in Jesus name.
I didn’t really hear anything about any consequences she had to face within her marriage for devastating her husband with the ultimate betrayal.
Didn’t hear much about her having to earn her way back into the marriage.
Didn’t hear much about her having to do the heavy work to attempt to rebuild trust and to make real atonement to her husband.
She realized her sin against God and repented. That’s great, but that doesn’t solve the destruction and devastation. she did to her marriage and her husband. That has to be atoned for directly with her husband, and requires major work on her part to earn her way back.
Doesn’t sound like he did much of anything to restructure things in their marriage, require consequences and boundaries. This guy just seems like a doormat. And that’s sad.
@@TheDudeInAZ unfortunately, this happens a lot. Men and women in marriage want to experience dating and sex with others, find out the grass isn't greener, and want back in. Jesus is being used to let them back into the original marriage. It's very grieving, and there was a reason adultery was capital punishment.
Hello there!! Thank you for joining us for this video!
Thank you to Rusty and Heather
Thank you guys for sharing ❤
Beautiful!
Thank you!
This is a beautiful testimony
Thank you for watching!
What does sitting in it look like? What do the conversations and questions sound like that’s productive and healthy to have? Are very specific questions about the details healthy questions to be asking/answering? In my personal experience knowing all the details doesn’t help heal anyone in the situation.
Thank you for this comment and questions. It's very tricky with questions that come up for the unfaithful spouse because you are right, certain details are not healthy and will haunt you for months once you know. We created a program just for this question and it has great insight and sample questions on healthy questions to ask your spouse. ITs our Walking Through Betrayal Program and I highly recommend it for anyone going through Betrayal. It's great for the initial steps of healing after betrayal. ~Adelle thenoblemarriage.com/marriage-academy-programs
I understand what Heather means about doing it all over again in order to find Jesus. But honestly I don’t think I would ever put my wife through all the pain I caused her to find Jesus. Don’t get me wrong I love Jesus, but I don’t think I could ever see the pain that’s ingrained in my mind from seeing my wife so hurt. But I do understand. Thank you for sharing this testimony.
Totally: I look back at my past also and I think I am so grateful I’ve been able to walk through that and on the other side and learned and let go of so much.
And if there were a possibility to go back, I would be a better decision maker and avoid hurting so many people around me because of my choices.
Thank you for sharing
That’s because she doesn’t really respect her husband, and isn’t really “in love” with him.
Praying that my wife has a supernatural experience, and God draws her back to him and then back to our marriage. I hope she wakes up and realizes she already has all her dreams right in front of her. I love 0:21 her and will continue stand for her.
Amen, we come in agreement with this prayer and pray that God brings your wife back and restores your marriage and hearts! Thank you for watching and continuing to follow along!
If only my husband who's cheating again would say this kind of thing. 20 years married, a 10, 7 and 1 year old and I saw on social media he's in Mexico with his mistress who KNOWS he's married. This is his 3rd affair and he filed divorce and served me on valentines day and told me he loved me that morning and was intimate with me. I'm letting go. He's sick. God will work on him according to his will because I don't know this man anymore. Stay at home mom and he refuses to help with groceries but already spent $1800 on his credit cards alone on this other woman and will not answer my calls or texts in regard to kids school supplies and groceries. I've gotten to the point where I've gotten sick in the bathroom this is spiritual warfare. I want our. Jesus take the wheel. This is toxic.
@@eileenfuentes6975 I’m truly sorry that you are going through all of this. It is tragic how people can become so self destructive and try to destroy the blessings right in front of them. Please get a good support group of a few people to help you get through these difficult times. Stay focused on God and his promises. Do not let the enemy win. Only we can let these situations ruin us. Believe me, I’m preaching to myself. Be obedient to God and work on being the best version of you. How you respond affects your children. Make sure you set the best example possible. I know it is not easy but over time we will reap a harvest. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”
Galatians 6:9-10 NIV
bible.com/bible/111/gal.6.9-10.NIV
I hope she did or will. I am in the exact same place. Trying to just trust in God's will
@@curtisharmon8978 i’ve been standing for over a year. Never in 1 million years that I think that would ever happen with the relationship that we had, but the enemy becomes the steel killing destroy. I will continue to fight for my family in a loving, godly way. It’s not easy, but it’s the right thing to do, if you have children, it’s the best hope for their future marriages to at least see one parent doing everything they can to save the covenant that they have with God. My heart breaks, I have a good days and bad days. I still ball out my eyes on many days. The pain is real, but God is a good God and he hears our prayers. He wants to restore our marriages. I know there’s a lot of stuff that has to be cleaned up in my wife’s heart and I have to believe that he is working on her at some point in time, she will realize the insanity of her choices right now. She has a man that still loves her after 27 years, even when she has put him through some of the hardest times in the last year and a half. I will pray for you, my friend God bless you.
Great story...
Glad you enjoyed it
Thank you for watching!
This is really what you need for your marriage the Love of God and forgiving each other . God forgive your sin so your husband his role of forgiving , and now your marriage is better than before . Just don’t go back sort of sin
Thanks for watching and for sharing this
I've seen hundreds and hundreds of testimonies. When is it going to be my turn I'm gonna be standing longer than my marriage lasted. Starting to think it's not worth it. I need Help
I pray for peace over you and I pray for Gods will to be done in your heart and life.
I appreciate people who will share and try to give hope to others going through this. Stories of grace and forgiveness are important. However, these stories are almost completely lacking in any conversation about how the betrayer demonstrated remorse to their wounded partner and worked to rebuild trust. People need to hear that part because there is no real healing and a much longer road to forgiveness and health without it. If interviewees can’t express that, and interviewers won’t ask, how much repentance has really taken place? Some of these stories feel like a betrayed party showing remarkable grace and everyone celebrating that as healthy Christian recovery without any real demonstration of remorse by the betrayed for the hurt caused. Just a lot of talk about the slippery slope into sin and then grace shows up and how wonderful that is and God’s power. Videos that address the rebuilding part would be a lot more realistic, helpful and hopeful.
Thank you for sharing this comment. This is just one story of many we have on our channel. We have an entire series that talks about what the betrayer needs to do to earn trust back in the relationship and it’s a powerful series. I’ll put a link here for you. Please check out and subscribe to our channel. Every week we release more videos to help both the betrayed and betrayer move forward in a healthy, God honoring way. I encourage you to not make judgments based on 1 story and how God led them to share. In this video, This couple has a powerful testimony and are now serving God and helping other couples heal. This is a powerful testimonial that they did do the work needed for both hearts to heal. It breaks my heart to see so many harsh comments about their story when this is only a portion of what they went through. Thank you for watching and continuing your own healing from the pain you’ve experienced in your marriage!
th-cam.com/play/PL_qjPvk2kzzlglG_iejC9U_b5GWwSNoRM.html&si=9JF3MCn7RzGzt6EU
@@TheNobleMarriage the content you develop deals with this aspect. My point is that none of the interviewees address it in any significant way and it isn’t asked. It leaves a false impression of recovery from this type of betrayal when real couples, many of whom minister to others, skip from the betrayal, to discovery, to forgiveness like it’s a linear path and you never hear them mention the path from regret to remorse to rebuilding trust. If I were a betrayed spouse looking for hope from these interviews, I would conclude that almost no betrayer understands the importance of demonstrating their remorse. They simply want forgiveness to alleviate their guilt so they can talk about how beautiful second chances are. This is true of almost every Christian couple I’ve heard give these testimonies. It’s not judgmental to say true remorse from the offending spouse is an important part of healing and that if you watch an entire series of “real couple” videos and it’s barely mentioned, that is a problem. The claim that true and deep healing without it doesn’t ring true. And if their heart was to truly help restore people’s relationships you would think they would mention one of the key elements if they themselves understood how critical it was. As a Christian, and someone whose parent’s marriage was impacted by this mess, I can tell you having testimonies that address this aspect would help many couples. Too many just blame sin (true, but no accountability for their role), talk a little about how they drifted from God during that time, then discovery and tears, then forgiveness and a little speech about how the betrayer is worthy of love and isn’t defined by their past. Queue the worship band and alter call so Jesus can save their marriage. The betrayed party’s experience, and the betraying party’s role in helping them recover, is never mentioned or, if it is, it’s a bit part in the overall drama. So, the content you develop is good but these interviewees leave a lot to be desired, at least from the perspective of the betrayed party.
@@matthartsook2147I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are going live on TH-cam Wednesday because of this question and we will address it then!
We AGREE WITH YOU 100%
Praise God for you opening our eyes to this!
Thank you for such a detailed comment! It’s obvious and yet wasn’t that obvious to me.
@@matthartsook2147 thank you again. This is the video we made after your comment. th-cam.com/users/liveLkibYcf2D8Y?si=0-nFlxH79TP72OjI
18:27 MY WHY, for standing
I hope my husbands life changes forever
Amen! Praying for your husband and that God rescues his heart!
My wife out me out for financial reasons, and parentimg differences, and communication issues. I find these stories to be very difficult because I did not cheat, I was working hard at least I think I was at being a good and even better man, both of us are believers but yet she has put me iut and blocked me on the phone and on all socail media. I am standing and oraying daily for my marriage though. Please pray with me for total restoration of my marriage. Iiss my wife so much.
I want to thank you for sharing vulnerably. I pray for both you and your spouses eyes, ears, hearts, and minds to be open to the Spirit of Truth and that any veil of the evil one will be removed in the name of Jesus. Amen.
I come into agreement with you. Amen .
Thank you for sharing your heart. I’m so sorry you are experiencing such deep pain. I pray for peace over your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Amen.
How does a man get past the intrusive thoughts of his wife being with the other man?! How do you not constantly visualize him doing things to and with her?! I can only assume he was part of their church circle now you have to see his face on a regular basis?!
Thank you for this comment and your vulnerability.
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this.
However it is a normal experience where the enemy has a playground with our minds.
I pray Gods supernatural peace over your thoughts and mind in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)
Also pray this prayer out loud. It helps. Over and over
th-cam.com/video/KbbbMpVqzq8/w-d-xo.htmlsi=N9Zk9Zaz5H8-upRh
No one can. That’s why this is so heinous. The highest disrespect to him and he still has to live it and put on a smiley face
Having a memory is a not the enemy. These videos never seem to address the importance of trustworthiness, humility and a demonstrated change of heart from the betrayer. Healing the relationship and moving past those triggers requires humility, consistency, and dedication over time from the betraying party. Empathy, warmth, and dedication are incredibly healing. Without those, the betrayed part has a much more difficult path to forgiveness. Yet these videos spend so much time talking about the power of sin and forgiveness, and almost no time on what the betrayer needs to do to help heal the wound they’ve created. That’s a huge gap.
God will restore my marriage I don’t want to help people after I get through what I’m going through after everything happens and my marriage is completely restore
I should throw in there and then either one of us have actually cheated
I’m praying for full restoration in your marriage and both your individual lives as well. One thing I know is that God loves to write stories He can be seen in so he gets all the credit. And the power of the testimony is so great. Thank you for watching and sharing.
What marriage intensive
I believe they went to Hope Restored Intensive. We also have intensives that are for lasting healing. You can check out more about it here: thenoblemarriage.com/marriage-intensives
Marriages can survive after an affair as long as the stupid suffering spouse can let their loser spouse back in their lives
Your comment made me laugh. This is definitely one perspective to have. Im glad there are others as well.
She still doesn't respect him, it's all about (from her mouth) I, I I, me, me, me. Her talking was 90% to his %10. She never took accountability. She never considered the impact it made on her husband. She never addressed his pain. You can tell just by looking in his eyes that he's still broken. She even said that she would do it all over again, just to find Jesus. Well, clearly she hasn't found Him, because it's still all about her, and if she had in fact found Him, then the very thought of doing it again would appal and disgust her. But no, its all about her. She never addressed his pain, nor does she stop talking over him. Her disrespect for her husband is the very reason why she cheated in the first place. If she didn't get caught would she have stopped? No. Definitely not, because it was all about her, and her husband didn't matter until she needed healing. So instead, her husband's pain and hurt was put on the back burner and invalidated, to once again meet her needs, to the point where even now she sees no wrong in it, and that she's the victim. What about her husband? You can see his pain. You can see how much he loves her, but that he was never given the right, nor the grace to heal properly because it was all about her, and still is. Very sad indeed.
I see what you’re talking about when they speak only about themselves and how their betrayal caused so much embarrassment and shame to themselves it becomes obvious there’s no repentance for deeply hurting the husband and if their infidelity wasn’t DISCOVERED the betrayal would have likely continued. The reason she “sat through it” with him was that she wanted to keep the family together for the kids and out of pride. Someone PLEASE tell me how this type of situation plays out!
I also see what you're saying. The hurt in his eyes breaks my heart and it's as if she doesn't even notice. ??? Cheaters are super selfish people who think of themselves and dismiss the future impact, living in the now moment. It's very fortunate people like these couples have so much family and support around them. Most of us struggling don't have that. It's a lonely road to walk with doubt and despair. No wonder people want to kill themselves. I completely understand... poor souls. I'm glad God restored these couples lives. My heart breaks for those of us who are less fortunate 💔... please Jesus help us too.
Its been 11 years, she cant be still grovelling, she said she realised that what she had done was a sin against God, how much more repentant than that should she be?
When she said I, I, I, was where she was owning up to her part in falling into the affair , i havent heard her give a single excuse except that she went into sin.
She even says when she looks back she is appalled, at the 52nd minute i havent heard her once speak over him.
If he has forgiven her, shouldnt we all?
@jwaugh319 Thank you for your comment on this video. I can see your hurting heart and that your comment actually has nothing to do with the video but rather to do with your own pain. I am sorry that you didn't feel respected and that your spouse didnt take accountability for the impact it had on you. I know that your pain is great because this story is a story of redemption and a marriage that is healthy and thriving. Sometimes when we have been wounded by someone deeply we see our own story in others examples and it brings the pain back to the surface as if the stories are similar. This is a normal experience and just know that we are sorry for your pain. The couple in this story has done the very hard work to heal and are both following after God and leading a ministry to help other couples walking this road also. I want to encourage you that you dont have to wait on your spouse to get your own healing. You deserve to find lasting healing! Please check out this powerful program we created with you in mind. I pray your heart is restored in Jesus name and that you are covered in peace and strength as you walk your own healing journey.
programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/Sp2C2WjG
@cspd3522 Thank you for your comment here. when betrayal comes out, no matter how it comes out, there are many emotions that a couple goes through and shame and embarrassment are not uncommon to experience. However, this does not indicate the posture of the betrayers heart towards their spouse. In this story, Rusty and Heather are sharing how they started out--lost and then Jesus did a number on both of them. This is a story of redemption and healing. Sometimes the motives that initially keep a couple together are selfish motives and yet, God will gracefully reorganize the motives where He sees needed and that's the case in this story. It's a beautiful story of pain and redemption that is only possible with God. Nothing else can accomplish this kind of healing and transformation. I pray if you have been wounded by betrayal, that you also find lasting healing to the pain you have endured. I pray God restores you heart and makes it whole again in Jesus name. Only He can do that. No-one and nothing will fix the God-sized whole that you are experiencing and I just encourage you to take it to him! If you are seeking healing, please take a look at our Becoming Whole & Complete program. It was created to help individuals who have experienced betrayal or pain and guide you to find lasting healing. You are worth it! programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/Sp2C2WjG/checkout
I committed the adultery (didn’t have sex but tried) would it be wrong of me to send this to my husband? She literally sounds just like me down to the pride
I think it would be a great idea to send to your husband when done in the right way. You could share that you would like him to watch this because you got a lot out of it and can really see yourself in this story. Ask him if he would be willing to watch it and see if he relates to this story as well. You also could share that it has made a big difference for you and hope it does the same for him. Hope this helps. I love your heart in trying to connect and wanting to do it the right way! ~Adelle
No remorse on her part at all….
thank you for your comment. I imagine you have experienced some pain and trauma similar to this couples story. I pray that you find the healing you deserve and that God will restore your heart! This story is a powerful story of healing and I assure you she has a lot of remorse from the pain she caused and has done the work to heal her marriage. I pray you experience the same!
Same old same old story. Married young had kids quickly life is tough , husband busy bla bla bla. Another guy’s 🍌 was just so good she had to try it.
He’s there for the kids and most of the church is not helpful. Those who advised him to leave were right. 11 years on he still has triggers. Should have left her if he had the money and resources. Kids are older now he has no obligations to stay with her. He can stay we can all say what an excellent guy he is. Buts that’s it. Just that.
Thank you for sharing where you are and how this is impacted you. It’s important to know that this video is not the whole story and they have a beautiful relationship and marriage now. They have done the hard work to heal and honor God through their mistakes in the past. I am sorry for what you have been through and my encouragement is to keep watching our channel. It is FULL of great videos to help individuals heal from the pain of unfaithfulness. We are in a series right now that is our background story and how unfaithfulness even begins. It goes far deeper than this couples story in this video. I’ll post the link below and pray you receive the healing God died on the cross for you to have!
th-cam.com/play/PL_qjPvk2kzzk5I-CjIJZsXi0UJCZHkRcF.html&si=DhrVJ24UzOhnHE-k
My husband left me 8 months ago (well I put him out) for a younger woman after 35 years of marriage. I just couldn’t put up with his behavior anymore. I still love him and I am heart broken. We were together more than half our lives and I thought it would be forever🥲The whole family and our 31 year old son are just so shocked at what he’s doing. It’s just not him at all but he seems to be totally bewitched from this other woman. I hope and pray that god leads him back home where he belongs.
Yes. The enemy is real and is like a roaring lion. He has come to steal, kill and destroy.
I’m so sorry to hear this. We pray for healing in both of your hearts and open eyes, ears, hearts and minds in this.
hey, I don't usually comment on stuff like this. But I was like your husband back in 2009-2011. God supernaturally visited me back in 2011 causing me to completely stopped cheating. My marriage didn't survive, we actually broke up and got divorce in 2023, but not because of me. I'm a 100% strong Christian since my visitation with Jesus, my ex is the one now that left God. Crazy. She was a strong christian, I was a cheater. Now I'm the strong Christian and she left God and us. But God is in control. Anyway, God can change your husband's heart. God did it to me and I'm a great redeemed Godly man, great father and I love Jesus. So keep praying. Anything is possible with God. Blessings!
@@PatriciaStowasser any update?
@PatriciaStowasser I have a feeling that he is coming back, so just wait a little bit before you introduce another man in your life.
Children should learn at school to conduct healthy marital lives in their physical, mental, and social dimensions. They should learn the importance of honesty in these issues.
Unfortunately, there is a systematic attack on the marriage institution, monogamy, and family values.
@@husaynal-husayni5673 I have no thoughts at all of introducing another man in my life. My husband is the love of my life.
I wish you well, I truly do. But an adulterous woman will not change her ways. I pray for you and your family. When she betrays you again, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Thank you for sharing
Especially since there is no mention of how her affair affected her husband, children, and damaged her Christian witness. The Christian church ignores the pain of betrayed men. And they wonder why men have left Christianity in droves and the pews are filled with feminist
I am sorry, but Heather cheating is unforgivable.he should divorce her, and keep her away from his family, A cheating woman is beneath contempt
Thank you for sharing your perspective. However I respectfully don’t agree. After being married to someone who was unfaithful, restoring our marriage has been the best thing for both of our lives. Jesus is a miracle worker and he loves using broken people who have walked this road to help others get the healing they deserve too. Heather was transformed by Jesus in a moments time and her marriage has been completely restored to even better than it was before. I’ve had the same experience in my own marriage. Betrayal is what SAVED my marriage. Not everyone learns their lesson and has a wake up call, but those that do, they live a life of passion, transparency and openness. This is what makes it beautiful on the other side of restoration.
Amen. The same. Takes work and no self justification. Hard work no one wants to do or accept, easy to call it. But it has it responsibilty from the cheater to do much more than expected without expecting
You wouldn't say that if it was the other way around 🙄
Men cheat for sex, it is wrong, but that is the reason. Women cheat at an emotional level, they intentionally want to hurt others because of their “feelings “, their cheating is at a deeper more cruel level @@starrangel0
If you believe a cheating wife can change, then you are a fool. A cheating wife is beyond disgusting @@TheNobleMarriage