Something I forgot to mention is that living in different climates can also affect how often you need to clean! This video is from the perspective of someone living in the Northeastern U.S. and the particular U.S. (and by extension, European) cleanliness culture. (When i was in Vietnam, it's was so f'ing hot and humid there and I was sweating like i ran a marathon every day.) But even more so, when I talk about showering often and how it *can* be unnecessary, it's more about the millions of shampoos and products that we are marketed to use when we shower, not just the act of rinsing your hair and body with water.
I was thinking while watching this about how Japan still has a strong bathing culture. When I visited, I loved the Onsens. There is also some fun cool themed ones as well. But it’s supposed to be very relaxing and you get to see your community as well which I think is important. They also don’t have as much space as America does so building bath houses to me instead of big bathrooms everywhere makes a lot of sense to me.
I feel like we SHOULDN'T encourage people to stop using soap 🤣🤣 we already have a problem with stinky people forcing their body oders on the public while at the grocery store or in the gas station or at work. Do you really want EVERYWHERE you go to smell like an anime convention!?!!! 🤣🤣
I have a bachelor's in microbiology. Half of my classmates are absolutely germophobic the other half will eat food that fell on the floor in 5 seconds because you need to get your immunity somehow.
People somehow forgot that the main point of cleanliness is health. If it is cold and dry during winter it can be quite unhealthy for your skin to obsessively shower. And if you have different hair structures it can also be unhealthy to wash your hair everyday. So we really shouldn‘t compare our habits to people in a completely different climate with completely different bodily needs.
I think the main point is that people who are looking to make money will find a way to use whatever they can to sell, so even something like knowledge or behaviors that should serve the general population of humans is used to feed into consumerism
true that. i live in a tropical climate where showering or bathing at least once a day is expected of you due to cultural and hygienic reasons. as a result of the hot afternoon temperatures and heat, we produce more amounts of sweat than people in colder climates. and thus, the need for stronger odours to mask the daily sweat and grime is essential.
When my sister was a baby my mom told me something her mom taught her, so her baby could sleep on their own without her needing to be next to them. It was to wear a shirt all day and around your baby and when they go to sleep or take a nap, take it off, and wrap your baby in it/put on them (you get the gist) so the baby will smell you and think your around and be more likely to stay asleep longer. And it works! Babies are smart and can recognize the smell of their caregiver. Super cool thing to know :)
Works on cats, too, lol. We sent one of my husband’s old t shirts with one of our kitties when he had to stay several days at the vet. He wore it all day, then I wore it as a nightshirt. Kitty had the smell of his humans and home with him.
interesting! I'm from the Middle East and cleanliness is super prioritised.. I remember when I lived in the UK and told a friend I usually never leave the house without showering because I don't feel good doing that, he called me arrogant. I was surprised, out of all the things you could say he choose arrogance! Cleaning rituals differs heavily from culture to culture
I was always under the impression that bathing was integral to Middle Eastern culture because you can't get into a mosque without cleaning yourself. I think it's somewhere in the Quran--that the worship of Allah required that you clean yourself with pure water first. I remember when I backpacked through the Middle East many moons ago that mosques always had these fountains where you could wash your hands and feet.
I’m from Brazil and I have the same habit! I don’t feel comfortable leaving the house without showering, so I always shower before leaving the house. And most people I know do the same. I believe it’s really common here to!
@@giuloss also Brazilian here. I don't always shower before going out (try showering at 6am in the cold of 5c° to go to class). But I don't like to go to bet without a shower, especially because my feet seem so dusty
Ukrainian here, our diplomats throughout the history were always made fun of, because they would clean themselves and care about hygiene🙃 not to mention that we were literally the ones to teach French about basic cutlery.
As a disabled person I often don’t have the energy to do more than the bare minimum and I always felt ashamed when people said they shower every day because I physically cannot do that. My condition can also cause excessive sweating which made me feel really gross in high school
I find that as a disabled person who doesn't move that much and has generally low body temp, I really don't need to shower as often when I can't anyway because I'm not producing any smells (or breeding the bacteria that causes the bad ones). Even when I do though, as everyone does, it's okay. Think about all the people with full energy who do manual labour or sports, and may not shower right away or every single day - it's okay for them, their sweat is even considered attractive by many. There's unfair stigma and ableist ideas about disabled people being unclean, based on prejudice and Capitalist ideals meant to shame disabled people into masking and damaging their own bodies and minds in order to produce more for the benefit of others, as well as make non-disabled people engage less with the community so our rights and needs are more likely to be ignored. You're doing the best you can; do what's best for your body and you deserve respect for just that, as genuine self care, that doesn't come in a bottle, is a very hard skill to learn x
I literally grew up in a household that showers every 2 days that daily showers was already a foreign concept to me and that’s actually not that uncommon so you don’t need to worry! As the video said, showering daily is actually unnecessary and even excessive.
When I started going through puberty at around 13 years old, I would bathe and wash my hair everyday but my hair was still always soooooooooooo greasy that the other kids in my sixth-grade class made fun of me. This culminated in me finally getting sent to the school nurses office later on in the year so she could talk to me about 'hygiene'. She was a really rude, blunt woman who told me straight up that the other kids in my class were complaining about the way I smelled and that they didn't like sitting near me. She then started to interrogate me about whether or not I showered/bathed regularly (i.e. daily) and if I actually used soap, shampoo, or deodorant, and if I knew how deodorant worked. It was already humiliating that other kids would make fun of me to my face about my greasy hair, and then being told that they were complaining at school to anyone who would listen just made me develop a paranoia about being perceived as "clean". I still have hang ups about this. I feel compelled to shower everyday, more if I have to go somewhere later on, I reapply deodorant very frequently if I get even a hint of musky armpits, and even keeping myself clean "downstairs" I feel so self conscious about any perceived smells or odors, that I won't let my boyfriend put his face anywhere near that area. All of it just makes me feel too vulnerable and exposed, if someone smelled me and said I reeked, I would be that lonely, humiliated middle school kid all over again.
Sorry that happened to you. This is awful and things like that can stay with you for the longest time... I hope you find a way to be at ease someday - whatever that looks like for you personally (not all trauma has to be 'overcome'. Sometimes you just need people to respect your boundries). Be kind to yourself, we are all very smelly and neurotic human creatures and that's okay.
Ugh, that sucks. I got a little bit bullied in school and among other things my classmates called me smelly and disgusting. I knew that they were just rude, but over time it did get to me, so I started to shower extra thoroughly, used a bunch of deodorant and adopted a myriad of habits to be as hygienic as possible, like washing my hands twice back to back, sleeping with socks on or keeping my nails really short. Most of these habits I still have to do to feel non-disgusting. Plus whenever the topic of hygiene is vaguely mentioned around me, I immediately suspect that my friends/family/strangers just want to politely tell me that I have terrible BO. And I can't even trust my nose to tell me accurately how I smell, it's as if I have scent-dysmorphia.
I often find it so weird, that characters in movies don't seem to smell stuff. Like when they are in a dark room and they don't smell a gigantic monster or people that are inches away from them.
As someone with curly hair, I get shocked faces from people with straight hair whenever I say I wash my hair twice a week. My hair would be brittle and dry if washed it every day! I also think there's a lot of anti-POC mentalities when it comes to hair cleanliness - I hear non-POCs talk about how gross it is to not wash your hair often, and I even remember Onision (?) put out a video years ago tearing apart a Black woman's hair routine because it was so dirty. What people don't realize is both how hair and your scalp's sebum (natural oils) work to regulate our hair's oiliness, and by washing it every day, you're removing those oils and making your hair dryer. Also, textured hair is naturally more porous and needs those oils to survive!
I have baby fine, pin straight hair that I wash once, maybe twice a week at best (and NEVER use conditioner) because otherwise it gets oily AF. Like disgustingly, visibly oily to where I want to puke…but it’s CLEAN lol. My parents grew up poor in the rural Midwest during the Depression- my mom used to recount stories of taking a bath once a week in a tin washtub & having to share the bath water with her little sister, lol. They bathed more often than that as adults with indoor plumbing, but were NOT daily bathers by any means. And they both worked professional engineering jobs in the aerospace industry so it sure AF wasn’t something other people noticed LOL.
I know plenty of people with straight hair who also wash their hair only twice a week. In fact it's the norm in Italy even for straight haired Italians.
yes!! even though i am white i have sort of loosely curly hair and for YEARS i wondered why i had such horrible dandruff issues and “poofy” frizzy hair. i literally didn’t know my hair was curly until i was like 19 because i grew up thinking you had to wash your hair 4-5 times a week. when i switched to washing my hair twice a week, my dandruff almost completely went away within a few months. it was amazing. and that was on loose curly hair! i can’t imagine the havoc that a 5x week wash day schedule would wreak on someone with coily or kinky hair.
i have fine, wavy-ish hair and i wash them no more than three times a week. It used to be two but I'm using some spray to strengthen it now so it gets oily faster. I find it bizarre to wash your hair daily if it looks okay.
I'm Russian and I just can't imagine how one can be so obsessed with cleanliness and be wearing outside clothes and boots at home at the same time. For me this is one of the mysteries of the western world
American here, and I can say that I do feel much cleaner when I switch to inside shoes and home clothes inside my home. It is hard to enforce as a general policy here since culturally people are uncomfortable removing their shoes at someone else’s home.
American here but I was originally Canadian. Wearing shoes indoors is just wrong on so many levels... and if someone needs shoes for support I would kindly ask them to bring house slippers or house-only shoes if they were going to be coming over. Plus, most of my house is carpeted. I do not want dirt/poop from outside tracked into my home dirtying it up.
@@ChampagneandWaffles People learn fast. I never allow someone to just have their shoes on in my house unless they brought a separate pair that isn't for outdoors. Also, you can buy shoe covers pretty cheap that healthcare workers and maintenance workers wear! Keep them by the door so if someone didn't come prepared but needs shoes on for health reasons they can put those on.
I have house shoes I wear. We are in Okinawa and the norm in Japanese homes is shoes off. I don't change clothes from street clothes usually but I don't lay on my bed unless I'm in sleep clothes.
It is well-researched internationally and historically. I was surprised that not one mention was made of cleanliness as it applies to the US and within the last 40, 50yrs.... aka, fairly recently. We don’t have to go back to 15th century European kings. We can simply look at modern America and its cloak of using “cleanliness” as a mask for government sponsored racism. The reason there are very few municipal pools open to this day and the reason an entire private swimming pool industry has been developed for backyard pools in the US is that once American integration was enacted by the eariy 70s, Black people were swimming with white people in public pools all across America, by law. The problem with that was Black people were historically deemed as inherently “dirty” and said to be “carriers of many diseases.” Black people weren’t to be accepted in these “intimate” interactions of partially clothed swimming and be part of white culture in such a close way. So, rather than local governments obeying the laws that all municipal activities and properties would be made open to all taxpayers and municipal residents, municipalities chose rather to shut their pools down and pave them over to stop Black people from entering these spaces. All Americans now have very few public pool options and have built a pool in their own backyard if they wish to swim in a pool outdoors. This vast change in how America swims - from public to private - is a direct result of the end of community and municipal pools and a result of racism that was veiled in America’s “cleanliness” and “purity.” This, too, should be mentioned.
exactly, and there was this boy in my class and he was such an asshole he was sexist saying we couldn’t play basketball because we were girls, he would constantly sexualize us, saying “girls are so sensitive” or “females cry so much” called us ugly. and he said if his child was gay he would beat them, and he made fun of disabled people, all right infront of peoples faces and never got in trouble. and even after that the girls in my class still wanted to be friends with him.
@@hcneymoon He was a mess, he was definitely projecting. Parents worry about their child being queer or trans, but their kids being straight up assholes is okay and definitely fine
hopefully in the next hundred years (if we last that long) those standards will have changed for the better and not just evolved into something else lmao
There's literally a trend right now that are "clean girl perfumes." Also, almost all floral perfumes, and especially designer perfumes, are stripped of their indolic/dirty elements, which are part of what makes jasmine smell like jasmine, or tuberose smell like tuberose
Also, during the hippie movement, there was a boom in perfumes with a lot of patchouli, which often has an earthy/dirty quality, which makes sense with this movement of the natural body and nature itself
I buy perfume oils from a niche small company run by someone I know and my FAVORITES are the ones that people often review as “stinky” - Jasmine, musk, vetiver, patchouli. With my body chemistry, they smell absolutely HEAVENLY, even the ones I’ve seen people gives reviews like “this literally smells like cat poop and I gagged before I threw it in the trash, I couldn’t even try it” LOL. Conversely, light floral scents get sucked up and instantly disappear, gone, poof, can’t even smell them 5 minutes later. Though I really do love me some old school heavy old lady florals!
@jankk I got a perfume from Pacifica called Tahitian Gardenia that, according to my mom and sister, smells like old lady perfume and I love it. I always loved the smell of my Nana's "Field of Flowers" scented powders, old lady scents are just amazing to me as well. Unfortunately I can't use my Tahitian Gardenia perfume very often because my mom has bad allergies :((
Honestly this explains why I can never find rose scented things that actually smell like roses. It's always "fresh cut" (aka nothing) or it smells like a different flower entirely!!!
My husband and I are goth/ alternative and we adore deep, rich complex moody perfumes🖤🖤 I love womens perfumes that add notes that are often viewed as "masculine" or too strong like incense, tobacco, oud and myrrh, that complement the more "femenine" notes. These rich, strong notes paired with Rose, Plum, Blackcurrant or Fig is heavenly to me!!🥰 My favorite perfumes are from Amouroud, Memoize London, Initio Parfums, Mancera and Amouage. They're expensive, sure, but ONE spritz lasts all day!!😌 My husband loves fugueres and deep moody oud perfumes with rose, lavender, patchouli, rum, tobacco. I can't even with the basic, boring, run of the mill perfume from luxury fashion houses (Gucci, Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana😮💨). Calvin Klein is the worst!!! These perfumes just dissipate, or is so recycled with one scent having 20 different flankers that aren't interesting or innovative. I'd get a body mist over an overpriced, basic Eau de toilette or a weak ass cologne any day. My husband and I only purchase Parfums and extrait de Parfums for the lasting power. Oh, and definitely crazy for the original creations in oil perfumes from BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab)!!🖤💜🖤💜
as a Black American i find it very hard to break away from my need of cleanliness. when our ancestors were enslaved they weren’t granted the privilege of hygiene practices. for anyone who doesn’t know a very common thing is for Black parents to make sure their kids wash themselves daily. doing things like making sure they clean behind their ear or smelling them is common. if the kid doesn’t do a good enough job they’re told to go back to the bath. so when i met a White mom who said they only wash their baby once a week i was shocked. there is even discourse in the Black community about how often you should replace your wash cloths and towels. with conversations like this it is important to think about racial minorities and how we are conditioned in different ways.
A big reason Black Americans are so concerned with cleanliness is because for centuries they were viewed as dirty due to racism. So it makes sense that Black American culture became so preoccupied with cleanliness to try to stop these racist comments.
To be fair, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something to “break away from”. If you are more comfortable keeping those habits there is nothing wrong with that. Many cultures kept higher standards of cleanliness than what we are familiar with in Western societies. Sometimes we are quick to label black cultural practices as pathologies that we need to break away from when that isn’t necessary.
@@pisceanbeauty2503 This is true for some. But I still think it’s something worth truly considering because it can be a mental hassle for many. Then it’s your decision to go on the same or change things.
Probs also tied to racism and risks of having social workers sent to Black families when the kid is seen as being gross. Personally, I would find washing a child only once a week too little as well. Babies cannot clean themselves and do not stay clean as long as adults do. They can be messy eaters and obviously..diapers, lol.
The idea of cleanliness reminds me of how body hair is viewed on women. My mom always told me we had hair on lady parts for a reason. When the girls in my high school locker room were discussing having to remove hair down there, I was confused. Body hair was seen as gross to them. I grew up seeing it as something natural and part of my body. Being clean, like removing body hair, has been pushed on us by consumerism and society. It’s insane to think back in the youth of my parents, body hair was not seen as gross by men. Same with being clean. I always enjoy how much research you do for all your videos ❤️😎 Thank you.
I agree. Shaving is percved as hygenic bc of society when in reality is actually less hygenic than not shaving. Since we cant see bacteria, virus etc I think a lot of the idea of what is hygenic has a lot of to with societal belives
@@amandak.4246 we dont ”need” hair, however shaving cause micro tears in the skin which can cause infection or ober growth of fungi. So it’s not really a fallacy that hair is more hygenic than shaving
@@user-xm1od9nb1m We need hair as it protects the skin of our pubes which is comparatively much more delicate than the skin of other body parts. The hair, you don't have to be a bushman, but even trimmed pubes prevent chafing and burns during periods, and given that sanitary pads have chemicals that have petroleum by products, the hair is like a barrier between the pad and the skin. So as long as you keep your pubes and folds clean with soap and warm water, pubic hair is actually good for you.
I started shaving my pubic hair before I even though if shaving my legs bc U hated how it felt and having very heavy periods as a kid and not being allowed tampons it got messy pretty quickly. I never felt gross for having leg hair or arm hair but it gives me sensory issues like I can feel too much, when I shave my legs feel numb 😂
The idea that “Modernity is odorless” is baffling to me. I live in America and the difference between the rural and urban areas is kind of overwhelming. The natural world smells deep and warm, with the wind gently pushing new scents to you. The city smells like vague garbage, cigarettes, and old piss, and then occasionally you get slapped with something entirely else and often worse. I don’t understand why people would think the natural world stinks. How can you live in a city with THAT MANY bad smells and not just lose the sense all together?
I mean it really depends on on where you live. Urban areas on the water like Boston and Seattle smell very different than land locked cities. And NYC is its own piss soaked beast. But there are plenty of rural areas that aren’t sweet wildflowers and grassy meadows. Ever lived in a town near an abattoir? Smells like shit for miles.
@@danirodriguez3682I grew up in a mill town in New England. It smelled like boiled cabbage every day, and on rainy days, I could smell it from my home two miles away. My dad worked there and called it the smell of money. Now the mill is gone, and I swear I can smell it on a calm day.
This Christmas I received a rosewater hand soap and lotion set from my uncle’s family. I put it in the downstairs bathroom without telling anyone. When my dad washed his hands, he was instantly reminded of his grandmother. He hadn’t smelled that specific scent in many years. It’s endearing to know he can remember his grandmother just by the similar scent of perfume she would always wear. I, too, am reminded of my own grandmother when I smell either Gardenia or Jasmine flowers. Smell is a powerful sense.
My grandmother would always wear the perfume White Shoulders by Evyan. She's been gone for almost 20 years but I still keep a bottle for the days I'm missing her. The connection between scent and memory is an incredible thing.
I’m Mexican, so cleanliness and smelling good has always been a part of our culture, even during pre Hispanic times, it is said that the mexicas would bathe a total of three times a day because smelling bad was considered an offense to the people around you, because of this they had bath houses called “temazcales” that were filled with warm water and scented herbs that where used mainly by the elite, but the common people had their own steam rooms at their homes allowing them to keep clean on a daily basis, this stayed through the years becoming very important for us till this day to smell good, but the access the internet allows us to have to see the way other cultures live made me realize how consumerist cleanliness culture is, especially in the US, every now and then I see tiktoks of people who have collections of 20 different body scrubs and body washes, or those videos of people refilling their bathroom cabinets with all types of dental floss and deodorants, no one needs that many things for showering or self grooming, and that culture has started to spread to some parts of my country (mainly the north) because of our proximity to the US and how influential it is on us, don’t get me wrong, I love a good shampoo and smelling good is always top of my list, and I see nothing wrong with liking that, but there comes a point where it becomes too much
I used to live in Sinaloa and on a typical summer day I would shower 3 times: as soon as I woke up, after school/before work, after work/before bed. The climate is so hot and humid, I couldn't stand not to. This was my practice, not everyone in my household or community did this, but I know a lot of people who did share this practice with me. I, like Mina, find water calming, cleansing and meditative so that could have something to do with it too.
Countries outside us/Europe have a completely different culture and need for hygiene, specially cause it's often warmer and humid and we can't really compare. In Brazil for example, it's so hot in summer you often need to shower twice daily, even our babies needs more baths than american children. And we also got this culture from natives
@@Marinlss it depends on where you live in the U.S. Southeast Texas (where I live) is hot and very humid in the summer. Summers in this region are BRUTAL. it's so hot and sticky. Even sitting outside relaxing in the summer, you sweat. So, skipping a bath or shower in the summer time if you're outside for any length of time is NOT an option.
As an Indian, I felt this.We have to shower two times a day during summers because it's so bloody hot and humid. And when people from outside come here they start to sweat and smell, so they have the stereotype of being smelly. When I learnt that it is actually the other way around and Indians have the stereotype of being smelly I was genuinely suprised, because everyone is obsessed with taking a good bath here. Later I learnt that it was the smell of spices and incense and everyone else really like using really strong deodarants and not the mild ones.
In one of my high school classes, a guy " malik" spontaneously loudly howled at a girl by telling her how she smelled horrible all the time, the whole class went completely silent, and the girl curled up in a ball under a plastic chair, the teacher came to bring her out of the class, she never came back to school. The teachers told us they were actually already « in the process of conversating to find a way of improving her smell situation », and that "malik" ruined everything. My friends and I were devasted by this situation, it felt horrible to see a kind classmate get shamed in this way for her odour, to the point where she no longer felt welcomed at school.
A long time ago I worked in a call center, and there was a guy who was.... very ripe. I don't think he had a sense of smell, and he was unaware just how bad his funk was. It was clear based on how greasy his hair was that he wasn't showering on a regular basis, and he didn't seem to be washing his clothes either. It went beyond the normal musky scent of a person who doesn't use deodorant, and smelled more like fresh dog poop. It was BAD. We had to have a manager pull him aside and have a very uncomfortable conversation with him. That even if he could not tell how bad he smelled, he was making it impossible for everyone around him to concentrate on their work. He showed up a little bit cleaner the next day, thankfully. In hindsight, I'm grateful that no one embarrassed him in public!
When I was in middle school there was a pair of sisters who were bullied by many people for being “weird”, wearing clothes and eyeglasses that looked 20 years out of date, and having greasy hair/body odor. Our PE teacher looked into their situation and found out that their parents were very poor & lived in very bad circumstances just a step above homelessness (and, I might add, was attempting to get them help/aid) and came back to the school and absolutely shamed the living crap out of all the girls who’d been shitty to them (by giving a scathing lecture to each period’s PE class without singling anyone out by name, but believe me, we ALL knew who was guilty, including the guilty people…some of whom had bullied *me* for *years* in grade school for being “weird” so I sure AF didn’t feel sorry for them.) It actually worked. You could feel the atmosphere in the room change, see the chagrin on their faces. It wasn’t like a movie where suddenly they were popular or got a makeover or something, but they overwhelmingly weren’t made fun of anymore, and some of the previous bullies did apologize and/or go out of their way to treat them more kindly.
@@jankk More teachers need to have the backbone to do this. I don't know why but it's extremely common for teachers to not do _anything_ to help bullied kids. Truly a chad teacher like the other commenter said
When I lived in Benin, people would shower 3-4 times a day but wear the same outfit for two days in a row, and I was always asked why I changed my outfit every day but only showered once. The perception of cleanliness varies so much culture to culture.
Well, as a Brazilian (we like to be clean here), I'll tell you my personal experience. Showering everyday and sometime more the once is more normal then changing clothes, especially when you don't have a lot of clothes. I usually use the same clothes for 2 or 3 days, because I only have so much and washing them every day takes to much Time and water. But the norm doesn't apply for underwear, those we change every time. Also need to notice the amount of phisical work and sweat of someone. If my shirt is too sweaty I'll change it, even if new. Some people have "work clothes" clothes that you put on during the day for working (for phisical labor) and then they take a shower at the end of the day and put clean clothes.
@@gisela_oliveira also, if you take more than one shower a day you’re always clean, so it doesn’t pass dirt or sweat to the clothes. So the clothes are clean. Cleaning clothes a lot ages them faster and is a tremendous water waste, especially if you use a laundry machine.
I clean my clothes more than I wish I had to. The shirt will be clean, but I sweat a lot even without doing anything, so the pits get Stinky :( it's a sad life for my clothes.
as a brazilian, from our tropical climate and indigenous heritage we have a VERY strong cleanliness culture, it's very common to take one too many showers a day with perfumed soaps, using scented moisturizers... it is also very common for us to give special soaps as a gift on birthdays, christmas, etc hahaha
Então eu fiquei um pouco em choque com os comentários achando que um banho por dia era limpeza até demais, mas enfim né, talvez eu n deva palpitar por conta dos climas diferentes kkkkjkkkkk
I was raised by a homeless mother, we slept in a bed sit due to my father being in rehab. I remember as a tween I became obsessed with smelling nice using cheap perfume and using olive oil on my ends. I associated human smells with poverty and I was obsessed to get out of it.
I have an anecdote of the harms that our modern cleanliness obsession can do: I remember, when my sister and I were very little, there was this one time where she adamantly refused to take a shower because at school the mother of another child had said to her son something along the lines of 'You need to wash your hands so you don't look like them. They bath less often than us and that's why their skin is darker, they lack cleanliness' while pointing at a black child. I don't remember the exact words, but I remember that my sister, maybe 3 or 4 years old, believed her, and she didn't want to bath because the lady had made her believe that if she did the color of her skin (which she liked as it was) would wash off. She told mom 'No me quiero desmorenizar' which would translate to 'I don't want to loose my morena-ness' (In my nation we call a person of a brown skin tone moreno or morena). And you know, now we laugh about how that's not possible and how funny the word she used to express her fear sounded, but I still feel kinda sad it had to happen in the first place. Edit to correct misspellings.
Omg this reminds me of the feminine ‘hygiene’ industry and how they claim women’s natural bits are unclean (hence you need to buy this feminine wash). But the 🐱 is self-cleaning and using feminine wash can mess up your ph.
Yes, totally! This whole industry gets money off people's insecurities :( it's sad. But it is always important to teach people that the inside is self cleaning while the vulva needs to be cleaned!
Literally this. It self cleans, you just need body wash pretty much. A lot of “feminine hygiene products” are just masking natural smells that honestly the world should just put up with lol
Growing up, I was told, "Don't smell good, don't smell bad, just don't smell." Meaning keep to basic hygiene and stay away from overly fragrant products. So a lot of the cleaning products I put on myself and use at home are natural and have little to no fragrance. I just don't really enjoy strong smells indoors unless it's from incense or a candle.
Me and my dad both start coughing and choking when somene sparys on deoderant while we are in the room. (Even if that person is us) My least favorite smell memory is a prior roommate that would come back to the dorm very sweaty and instead of using a washcloth to clean her pits or even spraying deadoeant she would spary on this really sweet strawberry full body perfume. The smell of the sweat mixed with the sickly sweet smell was horrendous! I wouldnt even mind the sweat that much but that body spray was nauseating
I don’t think ‘just don’t smell’ is any better? Humans are literally always going to smell somewhat, and being clean does NOT guarantee a less noticeable smell
gaphic if you shower daily, use castile soap, brush your teeth twice a day and floss, wash your hair, wash your clothes every time you wear them, keep your body hair under control, don't smoke or eat pungent foods, and avoid alcohol then your body will have very little smell and your sweat will just be like mild BO and not rank or offensive.
@@KFrost-fx7dtand don’t have anxiety, certain medical conditions that increase or change sweat production, not be on medications that make BO more noticeable, and be able to afford natural textile clothing that wicks sweat way and prevents bacteria on the skin from creating smells. I’m sure I’m missing a lot of things that can contribute to BO. So that makes being unscented as a pretty unreachable goal for a lot of people. Being clean and healthy is enough.
i was taught to shower and wash my hair everyday by my mom, who has no idea how to deal with my hair texture and dryness. it wasn’t until 2021 that i realized that i didn’t have to wash everyday in order to make my hair look nice and it’s been life changing. my hair looks so much healthier and my skin isn’t cracking from dryness. it makes me wish there were more conversations given to kids to explain the wide range of taking care of oneself, i might’ve actually enjoyed my hair routine growing up
I would wash my curly hair every other day and it was breaking off whenever I touched it. I only do it once a week now and it's amazing the difference it's made in my hair health.
I've recently started washing my hair every other night after spending a lifetime with the idea of daily washing. But daily washing dries out anyone's hair so I'm trying to take better care of my hair by only washing it every other day. Learning to take better care of stuff like your hair and skin is a complicated process
Tell me about it. I used to wash my face twice a day, and my skin was always dry and peeling. Now I wash my face once a day in the evening, and my skin is much healthier. I also used to wash my hair (also dry) every other day, but now I wash it once a month! Your scalp adjusts and it's fine! It has been such a time saver.
My family: If you're not going to shave, at least put on a shirt with sleeves. Me: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!
Since Mina reads comments, I wanted to share my pov. I am from Azerbaijan and many people wash their hair 1-2 times a week. And many people would consider this gross. However, when we do take a shower, it usually lasts about an hour or two and includes washing our hair 3 times (on average, some people do 2 or 5 even), body exfoliating with "kese" and "urusum", rubbing your feet with special type of stone (to exfoliate, called "dabankes") and body wash twice. This extensive routine is the norm and is done once or twice a week.
I'm from the US and basically do this. I'm disabled and showering is especially difficult so I do so about once a week, twice if it's a rare good week. However, since it's been awhile, I make sure I clean really well. I also go over my hair multiple times, most of the body can be cleaned outside of the shower easily except for hair... so I wash my hair multiple times to be sure I didn't miss any spots.
Honestly I am always confused by people thinking that when you take a shower, you HAVE to wash your hair (and its variation, when you say you don't take bath, you get weird looks because it's taken as "I don't wash myself" when duh, showers and cleaning at the sink with a washcloth are also valid options). Tbh I'm from France but once a week I also have a routine of exfoliating and all, and it's very pleasant. I like doing it on Sunday to ready myself for the next week by being fully groomed and neat. However I have curly hair and wash it with the classic shampoo/conditioner/hair oil once a month to preserve it from becoming dry and brittle - I do a weekly dry shampoo and daily combing/brushing however so my hair remains neat (and easier to handle to make my 1900s hairstyles since it's not wispy and limp and slippery).
And not to mention, we wash our privates every day, as well as our bums when using the bathroom. I never hear foreigners talk about doing this, it's the dirtiest area, so if you clean that you'll be a lot cleaner in general.
@JulieDeuxFois what does that have to do with anything? The average Azeri isn't religious nor prays five times a day, OP was talking about showering. The required cleanliness in Islam just became part of culture to us and a random person off the street might not even know what "ghusl" means.
As a massage therapist in the US I can always tell when someone has just showered and scrubbed their bodies before a massage, and not in a positive way. They have stripped away any natural oils and I have to sooo much more lotion because their skin just sucks it up. When I get to know a client I tell them to not stress about it but if they really want to take a shower before hand to only use soap on “hot spots” - pits, privates, under breasts, and feet. For the most part your back and arms are not going to smell
Yeah ! There is a difference between being hygienic and being …way over the top clean…tell someone u skipped the shower one day and all the sudden your a gross goblin spreading disease. Only wash you hair 2x a week? “Disgusting horrid grossssss” It’s gone to far . I always shower before swing a doctor or anyone who will be close in my personal body space but if I’m just going to Walmart then back home ..a showe isn’t necessary unless I’m actually stinking or something .
My college had a dorm where a Chinese professor lived and students living there had to speak Chinese as part of immersive language learning For me, living away from home, whenever I visited that dorm and was hit with the smells of sesame oil, garlic, chili, etc. it soothed me in a way I can't even really explain Especially when it was the same sort of smells that my non-Asian peers would complain about or make fun of me for
I feel this- in elementary school, one of the only girls who was good to me was Indian, and so now when I smell Indian food or just Indian people I tear up a little bit, I miss her so much.
I do shower very often, but it’s so interesting whenever people get suprised that I wash my hair once a week (maybe a week and a half) and assume I’m dirty for it. I have 4c hair and over washing damages my hair but so many non black people can’t believe it’s clean or natural. My hair needs oils and over washing strips it.
I knew a guy who had to wash his hair twice a day cause it would drop with grease. My hair only get a greasy when I smother it in stuff because it is so dry otherwize
My scalp n hair are dry we obviously have not the same hair type but it makes perfect sense that u don't need to wash your hair everyday n it could even duck it up! I'd take my non greasy dry hair scalp over having to wash more than once a day cause greasy hair
I have curly hair and people are also horrified when they hear I wash it once a week. I shower the rest every day, but my hair would be so nasty and dry and full of breakage if I washed it every day
Here where I live we all wash out hairs only once or twice a week, usually on Sundays. Because washing them more will cause more damage than good. People need to understand that everybody has a different hair type
I am also a fan of Zoologist perfumes! What I love about Tyrannosaurus Rex is how it starts out so metallic and medicinal and smoky but, over the course of the hours it sits on your skin, it becomes really green and lush and floral, transitioning from the lava and tar pits to a prehistoric jungle. It's the closest experience to actual magic that I've had from a purchase and I love it, even if it's something I don't wear out of the house.
I think I need to give T-Rex another wearing. Ironically I'm not the biggest fan because to me it smells strongly of soap, specifically old fashioned coal tar soap.
I'm italian, here if you said that you wash every day (including shampooing hair) you'd be met with stunned faces. It Is a common belief that water and heat damage hair a lot. I'd say the average person uses shampoo twice a week. Also we don't necessarily shower every single day but we do wash body parts that tend to smell more such as feet, armpits and 'down there'. Having a bidet helps a lot
that’s actually exactly how dermatologists recommend approaching hygiene. unless you’re sweating profusely or getting super dirty, it’s only necessary to wash your pits, feet and bits with soap daily
German here and same! We have a word for this quick wash (ofc there's a German word for that lol) and it's similar in English: "Katzenwäsche" or "cat's lick". I have neurodermitis and in general just dry skin all year round and my dermatologist also told me that showering every day is the worst thing you can do to your skin
i do think your water is part of that, i'm from Brazil and it's a common complaint for women that move from here to Europe that they have to wash their hairs with mineral water as the water from the shower has a certain mineral in it that makes their hair (that is used to "pure" water) calcified and ugly. since our water doesn't have it, it does not harm us the same way and no one has shower-related conditions even though a lot of people even shower 3 times a day. same thing with the heat doing damage to the hair, hair salons are VERY common here so don't get me wrong, but we also have a culture of just letting our hair dry naturally, so that reduces damage significantly.
@@cunextthursday I didn't think about water but It absolutely makes a lot of sense. Also hair drying is definetely better and I wish I could do It all year long but it's too cold for me in the winter and i get a cold or even headache :(
It's a very brief moment, but when Mina says she showers more in the winter, when she's SAD, I felt that. Showering feels like a big *effort* some days and when you don't have the mental energy to look after yourself, it's harder to make that effort. Or conversely, sometimes showering can be a form of self-care and make you feel better.
I have reynaud's so my circulation gets messed up in the cold and I shower more in the winter just to feel my hands and feet again after getting too frozen lol
@@emericcson123 i cant shower in the morning because of my raynauds (and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) because while it does raise my temperature (i have no body heat lol) all my blood pools
As someone with low energy and has taken microbiology and basic medical classes, sometimes the best way to deal with the knowledge that everything around us is gross is just a good old fashioned don't think about it, it will stress you out and you will mostly not be able to do anything about it. I literally last week learned concerning things about peanut butter and made the conscious choice of "I will be ignoring that fact"
Great video! I'd love to also hear you talk about how this 'cleanliness cult' also pertains to acne. Because a lot of the narrative around acne has been, bad skin = bad hygiene.
You're right. I've seen so many people online shaming people who have acne by telling them that they need to wash their faces as if they don't already. They treat acne like it's this dirty thing. It really sucks especially since acne can be caused by a whole lot of other things like hormones, stress, diet and health issues.
@@chaoticsiv4167 yep, exactly! i’ve had acne for most of my teenage years & it felt so gross. even though i had a rigorous skin care routine, had a healthy lifestyle (ate well, drank vitamins, worked out regularly). It was probably stress induced, but the stigma around it made me feel so dirty
yes!!! i had a friend with baaad case of acne in high school, and i remember my classmates saying "does she even know how to wash her face?" behind her back. i was so mad!! IT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKSSSSSS
@H M like healthy & balanced food. my whole family is doctors so had a nutritionist & drank supplements & didn’t have sugar in the house lol diet can definitely have a huge impact, but I don’t think it’s a one-size-fits-all. my acne simply went away when i stopped being stressed, even though my habits stayed the same
I think the “cleanliness culture” is also being partially fueled by the hygiene side of tiktok where girls show off how many bath and body works sprays they have, how many method body washes they have and how many tree hut scrubs they have. They send a message that hair care and body care should each be a 15 step processes. I’m a big fan of the phrase, “less is more”. But to each his own.
Literally agree 100%!! Less IS more!!! I have ONE cleanser and moisturizer/body lotion that I've been using for years. I always get complimented on my skin, how it's so soft, poreless, radiant, clean, etc.. People have asked me what foundation I use, or what products in my routine and are always shocked to find that I don't wear makeup, and I only use one wash and lotion. They consider me "lucky" at times for "only having to use so few things," but no. It's all about hydration, nutrition, excercise, and Honestly keeping it simple! I realized when I was young the more products I used the harsher my skin reacted, and that the less perfumes/additives/etc the absoLUTE better literally anything is for you. I honestly also only wash my hair once a week, sometimes twice in the same week. I've been living that way for years, and for my hair type I've found it's actually the healthiest thing for me. I do clean my private bits more often, though. But I absolutely do not shower-clean my everyday bc its too harmful
Them labeling it as hygiene kinda throws me off. Hygiene being defined as “n. conditions or practices conducive to maintaining health and preventing disease, especially through cleanliness”. (Greek origin & the Greek goddess of health named Hygiea) Some of that stuff achieves the cleanliness part, but is conducive to wrecked skin barriers, non-health, illnesses in ways we might not understand yet re: Johnson & Johnson promoting the use of their powders in underwear for decades before we found out the ovarian/uterine cancer risk
Oh god yes there's this one girl who has shower walls COVERED in shelves for bodz washes, soaps, shampoos and scrubs. People just go on and on asking her what is product X, Y or Z. To me, she just looks like a hoarder and someone with a serious cleanliness OCD. But others even comment they want the same setup for their showers. People really really really believe that the more products, the better for your body... It's so weird. I wish more people would pay attention in school
@@phoebeel Oh I think I’ve seen that girl but the girl I saw had even more products behind those walls! I think it’s becoming a wealth flex. Skin care can be inexpensive but look at all the pretty bottles and pretty colours and wow, I know that cream costs $1000 and that ones $750 but they’re also made for sun damaged or older skin and it’s not going to do a thing for her except maybe plug her pores. I find when I look at reviews for skin cream it’s really important to put in your age because the number of teenagers complaining a cream made for more mature skin didn’t get rid of a teeny crease in her forehead in the one week they tried it and gave up. Young girls really need education about the dangers of too many products, how long to give a product to see if it works, you don’t need the full line of products for it to work, and when you find something that works just keep using it and eventually you’ll have a group of products that make you feel and look your best. It’s hard but try to stop reading some beauty mags etc because some stories exist only to advertise products and use tactics like they’re doing an investigation or education on acne but it tells very little and the product names and prices are just throwing some things in and it looks natural but it’s the same as a picture ad which usually is on the next page nonchalantly. It gives fomo when you look great now and could save the money. Just one must 365 days a year is sunscreen. That’s from me! I’m 52 so for years just oil is what we had. I was in high school when SPF came around and was in moisturizer, my friends and I always used it and it’s actually sad when you run into the sun lovers in high school. Wow, I wrote a super long comment! Sorry for that!
I have a really hard time maintaining societal hygiene standards with regular showers because ADHD and depression, so this video helps me feel a little less gross about it. I still want to bathe regularly and get my mental health on track, but it helps lessen the pressure on me a little bit to know that showering every other day isn’t actually the worst thing in the world for me. Thank you for this!
put your energy into doing things that feed your body and soul. so many people shower and clean their home perfectly everyday but probably forget to go outside, eat, see the sun, move their body, talk to anyone, take a moment of stillness. I say this as someone with chronic fatigue syndrone. showering is about 10th on my list of priorities.
i and many people who are close to me don't shower more than 2-3 times a week during colder months. Nobody ever seems to mind and i still consider myself clean most of the time. i believe this is relatively normal where i live. my hair usually doesn't need to be washed more than every 4 days.
Fatphobia has affected my relationship w smell a lot. Being overly-cleanly to try to fight off untrue stereotypes about fat people being slobbish and smelly.
Same!! I put so much effort into how I present myself (being a size 2x and 5'7) because of the "slob" and "lazy" stereotypes. Curled hair, good smells, prepared outfits, full face of makeup, heels, etc. Of course, I enjoy doing it too, but I find myself scared to go out without all that because of public perception.
Thank god my mom raised me to be clean but not overly clean to the point of obsession. To me it's very normal to only shower every other day and only wash my hair twice a week. Despite not being big on perfume or other heavily scented products multiple intimate partners have told me I smell very good and I myself don't feel dirty or smelly at all. It was only until I started seeing a lot of tiktok discourse about showering habits that basically said that if you don't shower and thoroughly scrub every inch or your body with soap every day you are disgusting that I started doubting my own hygiene and feeling ashamed of myself for not showering every single day. I realise now that this is a very american attitude and being from europe and a relatively cold climate there really is no need to take on those habits that people preach about. Don't let people shame you into unnecessary habits that often do more harm than good and trust your own judgment.
Me too, especially being someone with skin problems and curly hair, which cannot be washed every day. No one except internet strangers who have never met me has ever said I smell bad. I think I'd rather believe the people who have actually smelled me.
Totally agree. I live in a cold climate and usually only shower every other day and wash my hair 2-3x/week. If it gets humid in the summer I’m more accustomed to just washing my body with a facecloth. My family was very frugal and, growing up, if I mentioned I wanted to shower when I showered the day before, I got a lecture on how much hot showers affect the power bill 😕
This video was incredibly interesting. As a POC growing up in a predominantly white area (there were less than 100 students of color at my hs with a student body of about 1000, and most POC students lived in the nearest city and where bussed to and from the school district every day) I was super concerned about my smell as it was brought up by my peers. I don’t think it’s uncommon POC experience to be told that you/your home/your food smells weird. I was always scared I smelled terrible and as a result would try to cover up with an array of Victoria’s Secret body spray as often as I could. I would dread gym class and the thought of sweating and tried to avoid sweating as much as possible. There was also a trend in my school where girls would carry body mists with them to every class and scented lotion and would use this multiple times a day. As an adult I’ve had to do a lot of inner work to get over my paranoia of smell and cleanliness, so thank you Mina for this eye opening history!
At boot camp, there were girls who really didn’t like me so they told people I didn’t bathe and would throw soap at me. I was ostracized by the girls bc of this rumor that I was dirty. The American obsession with cleanliness sucks when you’re a working woman who sweats. I’m glad the guys didn’t care.
This girl on my bootcamp (Canada) doesn’t shower the entire weekend and I swear, she never smelled. We don’t know how she does it, but we love her to death. Ngl, use Canadians are more… open-minded and accepting. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Boot camp means army right? Aren't soldiers supposed to be sweaty and dirty from idk excercise or being under the sun? If I ever saw a neat and clean soldier, I'd assume them to be a Nazi.
@@sarahwatts7152 Hell yes!!! I am and will always be stinkier than my husband because I work harder and I’m proud! He gets to deal with eczema more because he has more B.O. and I’m over here only itchy when I’ve been skiing for the week in dry weather.
In Brazil it's actually taught to you as a child that you should shower 3 times a day and most of us continue that thinking to adulthood. That teaching came from indigenous people so i'd assume my country can be even more obsessed with cleanliness than America sometimes, with people straight up bullying you if you dont smell like you just showered.
@@user-zy3cp7ou3k talvez na sua região seja diferente mas na minha todo mundo tem esse costume de tomar muitos banhos por dia e inclusive era ensinado que o ideia seria 3 banhos por dia e lavar o cabelo dia sim e dia não 🤷♀️
sim, eu até fiquei surpreso com o vídeo, pq eu sempre tive essa ideia de que os americanos não davam tanta importância pra higiene e muitos brasileiros pensam assim tmb. mas aparentemente eles são obcecados com isso. imagina se conhecessem os brasileiros kkk
I'm from Uruguay, and here that would be seen as weird (unless it's summer when we all wish to be under water all day). People usually shower once a day at most.
One time I was telling my sister that I wish shaving wasn't introduced because it is so unnecessary but it feels essential considering the society that we grew up in and she was like "yeah but I feel like I'm not clean if I don't shave" and I was like yeah! That's the thing...its not a matter of cleanliness because it's part of you and you don't need to shave your head every other week to be considered clean but we have to in many western areas or we'll be seen as unclean and unkempt
i feel unclean if i don't shave too :/ which sucks because i realise that's really not true and i don't want to shave!! i hope my mind will be free from these standards and myths some day
@@duck586 That's not natural tho, we feel this bc we were conditioned to do so. You'd be surprised how much of what we perceive as our own feelings or ideas was actually injected on our brains through social pressure.
i always find it amazing how smells can trigger memories. one whiff of an old deodorant i used to use and suddenly i’m back in 2017. i can feel the rumbling of my old toyota corolla, driving home from work and listening to mac demarco.. weirdly bittersweet
When I was little, the perfume my mom wore was Angel by Thierry Mugler. She wore it for a few years and then switched to other stuff. I came across it after not smelling it for years and years. One whiff and I got a pang in my stomach just like the ones I used to have every morning back then when my mom woke me up for school. I hated waking up that early and I hated school so I was always nervous and unhappy in the morning. Just a whiff and I felt that feeling again.
I work in a public library and I literally got trained on how to ask someone to leave if their odor was “offensive” for other patrons :( it’s honestly so sad. I hope I never have to do that….
This is insane because in my country it's illegal to do that, libraries are a public and pubblically founded space, why does someone has less right to it than a smelly person?
@@mxflint1715 I'm Russian and in Russia, it's not accepted in our culture to make someone leave the public space even if they smell really bad it makes everyone cry. Most people who have odor are elderly people, who are limited in movements and cannot do proper hygiene, or homeless people, who don't have a home with bathroom and money for shampoo. Also, public bathhouses are more popular in Russia than in Europe and America.
A charity in my city helps homeless people shower and wash their clothes, so honestly the majority of the homeless people in my city don't smell too bad. A great cause if you ask me
Smell and cleanliness for me can also be strongly connected to ableism sometimes. People are very judgemental about people who smell different or 'bad'. A lot of the time a health condition can have an impact on the way you smell. Maybe you have a hard time washing yourself, maybe you sweat a lot, some people deal with incontinence and there are so many more things that can change the way you smell. Another thing is autism and sensory issues. Also things like migraines. Both my mom and me avoid strong smells and perfumes. Going on public transport can be a problem when people wear strong perfumes or a lot of aftershave or bodyspray. I get very bad migraines and too many smells and sounds can make me very overwelmed and anxious. There are other conditions where strong odors can be a problem like asthma and COPD. Wearing perfumes is fine but it would be nice if more people were mindful about it. Things like avoiding spraying perfume or deodorant in spaces that are not well ventilated
It boggles my mind that people would apply scent in public. Maybe something like a gym but it just seems pretty rude even without taking into consideration people with medical conditions. If my perfume wears off by the end of the day so be it.
I'm late to the party, but I'm wondering if wearing a KN95 mask would help you with this at all? (Not the intense masks with straps that go all the way around your head, just the cone-ish shaped ones with ear loops that conform to your face better than regular surgical masks.) I use them for dust, pollen, and migraine-triggering smells. Game changer.
I was in the public library the other day and this person smelled so badly of urine and a rotten flesh smell that it was making everyone sick our eyes water. And you're complaining about perfume? If you go in public, take a bath first. Clean every part of your body with soap. Don't go around in a dirty diaper. If you have an infection or something get it taken care of. Shouldn't be walking around smelling like a corpse and ruining everything you touch or sit on!
The library part from the beginning: just a bit of personal experience from a person who has worked in libraries for about 12 years now. The public libraries have had a policy which could be used in that way. Many of our patrons carry with them strong odors, but that alone would not be something that would typically be the reason to ask someone to leave. That was expected. In fact a couple of the locations I worked out we actually had these large air purifiers that help to neutralize the strong smells a bit. In my experience most of the time if an odor was so strong that someone was being requested to leave the premises, it also included evidence that they had urinated or defecated within the clothes that they were currently wearing. You are absolutely right that libraries are very commonly used by individuals who might have barriers to typical Western conventions of hygiene. Libraries and librarians are generally doing their best to serve their communities though. This means that most systems with the resources(aka funding) now also employ social workers. We all had a list of resources and decent relationships with local service providers. For example, we had bus passes that would get you to a location with free showers and a change of clothes. We helped people to fill out their applications for disability, Health Care, housing, work. With the consent of the individuals, Librarians try to connect them to resources that could help them. At the libraries where I worked we had bottles of water in the summer, gloves in the winter, things like flip-flops for people who didn't have shoes. Most of this was bought by us library workers, all while groups are actively trying to diminish public library funding. A rule like that out of context sounds outrageous and it is. But it is an indication of the breakdown of lots of supports for people, not an indicator of the overall services that are being provided within most of your local libraries.
Fellow librarian of 9 years here. Came to say this. You got there first. I applaud your information dissemination skills. :) Not all libraries are able to offer the same services, but neither are all libraries having to follow policies like the one mentioned in the video. Like most things in life, it often comes back to money. If you know a library that does this...don't be surprised if the policy was put into place when a city councilmember, a mayor, or a governor with an anti-homeless platform created it and they actually control the funding for the library.
@@victoriaparnell7339 yes! So much controlled by "boards" that typically don't even have a librarian as part of them. I've been in a school library for 3 years now and there's so many similarities in the bureaucracy everywhere. Sadly in all situations you have people who are there because they love their communities and they want to connect them with the information they need and provide safe spaces separate from capitalism and the need to purchase things, but they're systematically being driven out of the profession because of burnout, lack of support, and the lack of awareness for the trauma that we are confronting everyday beside our communities.
I had a cousin who was always getting sick as a kid. His mom, my uncle's wife, was a super clean freak (now she's a "normal" clean freak?). He wasn't allowed to play in the dirt, play in rivers or streams, play in the rain, touch animals. You get it. Anyway, someone told her it was because she didn't allow her son to develop a strong immune system since he wasn't exposed to common germs. My uncle got home and set his kid on the dirt outside. I don't think this single act did anything but he's a much stronger kid now, and I truly believe that her ridiculous approach to cleanliness was the cause of his poor immune system as a baby/toddler.
As someone who's struggled with personal hygenine my whole life since my parents were neglectful it's hurts a lot when I see people demonized for lack of hygenine or different hygenine.
I know it has been quite some time since you commented this, but I want to tell you that many of us struggle with personal hygiene due to neglect or mental health. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and I understand you, because I am struggling with this as well. ❤
i watched a short recently and the girl used a bar soap, body scrub and body wash, and all with exfoliating gloves/an african net sponge, and she also shaved. so in one shower she exfoliated 4 times, and then when she got out of the shower she used like 3 different lotions/body butters. self care is one thing but it was just over consumption and performative hygiene
All the lotion is probably needed because over exfoliating is so drying so she got conned into messing up her skin and is paying to fix what she payed to ruin.
we really need to consider culture differences when talking about this subject. as a brazilian, the thought of not showering every day makes my skin crawl, and that's a habit we got from indigenous people, not portuguese invaders. hearing some european people talk about how they shower once or twice a week is shocking, even considering they have actual cold days in winter (and we don't) lmao
As a fellow brazilian, I don’t know what cult of cleanliness she is talking about. Perhaps if she was talking about brazilian or middle eastern culture, then yes, although the warmer climate has a lot to do with this. But there is no such cult in US and even less Europe. I heard using perfume on everyday life was actually uncommon in US until some time ago.
Aqui nos EUA as pessoas acham que não tem que tomar banho após ir na piscina porque a água já serve como banho 😨 mesmo em piscina com cloro, que tem criança que pode fazer xixi na água, e a pessoa ainda passa protetor solar etc...e não acha que tem que tomar banho? 🤔
In High School, I would douse myself in vanilla bourbon cologne I got from Bath and Bodyworks, and this was before I knew how to properly apply cologne so I was just spraying myself up and down. One girl in my first period class actually came up to me, sniffed and said “why do you smell like a marshmallow?” It was a pretty funny interaction.
I’m personally of the belief that if you live in a cool climate, don’t work out every day, and wear deodorant, no one will be able to tell if you skip a day or sometimes even two between showers. If I already look + feel clean, and my skin and hair are healthy, washing again would be nothing but a ritual for me, because I have nothing I need to wash off. However, I can definitely say I’ve lied about my showering habits in front of co-workers and managers who are expressing judgement about proper cleanliness rituals. I’ve also had put-together looking people reveal to me in confidence that because they have particularly low body odor, they could go a week or more without showering, and no one would be the wiser - Although at that point, not cleaning might actually start to cause rashes or weigh on your mental health. The truth is, you generally can’t tell if a person keeps “clean” habits or not, and most of the time it really doesn’t make a difference, so long as they wash their hands.
My ex used to go a week between showers and she thought no one could tell. She'd claim she didn't really get much oil or BO. Trust me when I say that she had both and I could very much tell.
@@shadowscribbler6100 Did she live in a dry or humid climite? I live in humid climate (the US South) and obviously have to shower everyday becaue of the sticky humidity, but when I would visit places like Northern Colorado where the air is really cold and dry, my skin would crack and peel and everyday showers made it worse, so I had to go longer in between. My dermatologist said my skin is used to humidity, so that's why the dry and cold weather was a shock to my skin. So I could see why people that live in cold and dry climates would shower less, unless they naturally have super oily skin due to their hormones. But showering less in a humid climate? Now that's a recipe for disaster.
I went from showering everyday to once every 2 days (unless I did sports or went somewhere extremely grimy) the year I moved from the subtropics to the northern hemisphere
It's also very seasonal. I'm also in the US south and in the summer I will shower daily, but in the winter it goes to every other day - maybe three times a week or so. Usually after a heavy work out. Also in the winter my skin tends to get dryer, so there's a daily slathering on of a good lotion. Since the lotion is scented, it'll maintain that shower fresh smell even on the days I'm not showering.
For most women, I think you're 100% right (ironically... seeing as the social hygiene bar's so much higher for them). I have women friends who shower weekly, wash their hair once a month, and smell fresh as daisies. If I don't shower every morning then I can smell myself going around in a cloud of funk. 😬 Testosterone! (That being said I think my partner smells fantastic when he hasn't showered. 😂 Maybe pheromones are real, and we're all washing ourselves unsexy.)
It’s obviously not the same thing (I’m not trying to compare) but I think to a lot of people clean themselves as rituals more than having an actual need for it. That you ”feel” more clean
Nose blindness is such a thing. I used to volunteer at the stables and barn when I was in vet school, where they had a small herd of goats. Goat smell is INCREDIBLY powerful - if you're not used to it you can smell it downwind from miles away. Hell, when I first started I could smell it on myself even after bathing. But after a few weeks, I physically could not smell it. I think ten later I'm still a bit nose blind to goat smell even though I've only worked there for about a year and a half, and haven't been around goats other than in passing for most of that decade. Similarly, growing up in a smoker's house and having been a smoker myself in the past, I'm very innured to the smell of tobacco; my girlfriend, who's never smoked and whose parents never did either, has to wash her CLEAN, unworn clothes after she comes to visit me because they smell of smoke to her, even though they were kept upstairs, inside a suitcase, the opposite end of the house from the only room my parents smoke indoors. So yeah, I can see that's how it worked. Nobody minded armpit smell before deodorants after all, but after it's the norm to NOT smell like that it became incredibly noticeable to everyone when someone does.
I think cultural and geographical differences do play a part here, im from south east asia, it's hot and humid you have to shower twice a day, or once minimum. Obviously not everyone CAN shower everyday, you need access to clean water etc personally I work in healthcare with sick patients, so I have to shower everyday otherwise I don't feel clean.
One thing that pisses me off about people is how much fragrance they douse themselves in. It’s completely inconsiderate, especially when people do it in a public space. There are people (like myself) who are very sensitive / allergic to fragrance. My face starts to turn red, throb, and it BURNS and itches - this can last hours or even days (I have rosacea). My nose is also very sensitive; I get headaches and my nasal passage itself starts to get irritated immediately. It’s just such entitled behaviour! It actually makes me want to cry because it puts my comfort - a great part of my life - into strangers’ hands.
@@peaceflowerstudios6833 You have to treat it forever as there is no cure. There are topical creams / gels and oral antibiotics or other types of medication. A reaction will still occur with these though. The treatments are just used to treat the bumps and residual redness of rosacea and don’t do much in terms of stopping skin being triggered in the first place.
I feel your pain. Most scents and perfumes cause me discomfort, and some cause me to go straight into anaphylactic shock. Sometimes it’s perfumes, sometimes it’s cleaning products. It’s been over a year since I’ve gone a day without an allergic reaction. It used to be sparingly, maybe once a year, but after I got Covid now it’s every day. I
As someone who is utterly and ridiculously sensitive to smells, I can attest to the fact that EVERYONE has an odor. I can tell when people are sick. I can tell when they eat high protein diets. I can tell when they eat a lot of soy. And that’s not even mentioning people who smoke, which I think is obvious to everyone regardless of what they try to do to cover it up. Perfumes can knock me down. Even when I put deodorant on myself, it takes me time to get over the smell. Side note about bathing - I do it every day and I wash my hair every day even though I know my skin is super dry and it’s not good for my hair. It makes me feel refreshed. My son doesn’t bathe every day and I expected to point out exactly how stinky he was…but he’s not actually. He smells fine. He smells good. His skin is even drier than mine and his hair is extraordinarily dry and washing too often would not be healthy for him. I used to over wash my face and it exacerbated my acne. When I started using a gentle (and cheap) cleanser and reduced washing, my skin was actually better. So he’s probably on the right track.
Wow, I'm not as sensitive as you (i can't tell what people eat) but I've never heard anyone mention the sickness thing! Especially colds/flu that sort of thing, if I walk into a house where someone is sick like that I can smell it. I can even smell it in my own sinuses if I'm coming down with something and I've been able to head off worse infections that way. I'm just excited to see someone else mention smelling sickness because no one ever talks about it! Side note, good for you for understanding your kid's needs and not forcing him to do things in a way that wouldn't work for him :] for me, if I were to shower too often it would make me break out and smell and have horribly dry skin because it throws my body out of whack. My skin and hair are so much better now. In my experience body odor is the same--the more you wash, the faster you stink, but if you get in the habit of going a few days between, your body adjusts and it takes longer to smell bad. Weird how that happens.
@@simbelmyne7767 I’m not the only one! Yay! People think I’m making it up but now I have some validation. There is at least one other person who can smell the difference between a regular illness and an infection. I love internet :)
i dunno if youve looked into hair oils to replenish your natural oils if you hve to shower every day but if you havent you might want to. you might also try a leave in conditioner. obviously being scent sensitive might hinder your ability to do that but ive found leave in conditioner helps as someone who also has to shower everyday, for sensory reasons.
wow. your sensitivity to smells actually reminds me of service animals who are trained to alert when somebody has a tumor or something. i don’t mean that in a bad way at all, it must be difficult for you to deal with i imagine but that’s legitimately so fascinating and cool
I’m American and I’ve always felt like I wasn’t clean enough because people since my childhood would talk about showering everyday and how it was gross not to and it’s really cool to see someone talk about this in a neutral way
You're teeth are literally supposed to be kinda yellow and not like pearl white. Bleaching the teeth removes protective enamel that you can't get back (yet). As long as you're brushing and keeping that breath smelling nice it ain't no thang
Sounds to me like you are just reasonable. You'd feel perfectly fine in Europe! We don't see the need to douse ourselves in Isoprop anytime we look in a mirror. We wash and brush and care for healthy habits, but respect our bodies as functioning units that can take care of things.
Oh 100% on the teeth whitening, it’s so jarring when someone’s teeth are blindingly white, and you can always tell when someone’s gotten veneers because they look so fake. With braces, at least for me my teeth were so crooked they were stopping other teeth from growing in, so I’m still a braces supporter, but I completely understand the obsession with having straight white teeth
I had the enamel on my teeth destroyed by eating lemon wedges the same way people eat orange wedges, lol. It absolutely sucked and took YEARS to get repaired, because it was considered “cosmetic” and I sure AF didn’t have the $1000s in cash required for bonding, veneers, or whatever the currently popular fad for covering jacked up enamel was. Finally got it fixed when we lucked into an excellent dentist who worked primarily with low income people who gave me simple crowns fully covered by our crummy dental insurance, LOL. (The guy knew how to work magic in a system that was designed to screw poor people out of proper dental care.)
I have a translation of some of the earliest cookbooks coming out of the middle east, and one of the things I found most interesting was that they would temper their pots and pans with aromatic herbs (I forget which - maybe fennel) prior to cooking, because food needed to be cooked in a good-smelling vessel.
I once dated a guy who never wore any fragrance but his natural smell was so good to me I couldn't help getting close to him just to sniff him! It was his own scent and I have never met anyone else with this phenomenon. Sadly our relationship ended but I still think about him and that amazing scent. I love showering in super hot water too. I have one signature perfume and only wear it sparingly as not to have it arrive in a room before me.
Supposedly it was his pheromones that smelled good to you. I've read that that could indicate that they have a very different genome or at least immune system from your own and so your offspring would have the combined benefits and be healthier than both of you.
My boyfriend is the same! He’s used cologne on occasion throughout our relationship but for me, I’ve always loved his natural scent the most. I guess it’s a reminder that fundamentally we’re still animals looking for the best pheromones 😂
my ex girlfriend was the same!! she just smelled so good all the time, and not with any fragrance, but with her ordinary body scent. idk what kind of wizardry was that lol
I would love to see a follow up video expanding on cleanliness as an alienating and oppressive concept. Like in recent years, medias obsession with “clean girl” aesthetics. I throughly enjoyed this video for history of actual physical cleanliness but now clean is being used as an idea and I’d love to see that explored ❤
I'm terrified of smelling bad because of the stereotype that autistic people always have a nasty odour. I've gotten better recently, but there was a time where I'd have a panic attack the moment I started sweating or even as I was leaving the house, because I was so worried that I'd have that "autistic smell" that I had convinced myself of. Definitely some paranoia going on there. But there's an undeniable link between the idea of cleanliness and ableism. After all, the whole way I came to this conclusion was through watching videos of people making fun of autistic-coded characters for how bad they smell. Great video, this needed addressing.
People on Tiktok, making videos where they pretend to have conversations with obviously autistic-coded characters. The characters are never named, they were usually just referred to as the "weird kid" or the "sensitive boy", and things like that. I don't have Tiktok now, but idk it made me much more self-conscious :/.
I use to work at a local hardware store in my hometown. There was this one costumer who would occasionally came in and became known as the 'smelly guy' (or something like that) with my managers and coworkers. It really pissed me off, because, yea he smelled musky and it lingered, but he was just an old man who couldn't even walk around very much, didn't talk much but was so sweet and would always smile so nicely to me. And yet I'd have managers and coworkers talking on our walkie talkies saying 'watch out smelly guy is here' or 'get the lysol spray', and even one coworker made jokes (not even really a joke, she seemed quite serious on doing this) about spraying him with lysol. As in spraying him directly. It's just so rude, we don't treat our elders properly in this country, imo, or anyone who differs from the norm. He may have had some disability that prevented him from being able to shower correctly, or something physiologically that caused him to smell and there was nothing to be done about it, but people just notice the smell and make fun of him rather than trying to understand. It's just very rude, and I'm very happy to see this video discussing issues like that.
morgan t. I watched an episode back in 2020 on Netflix called 100 Humans, and the episode centred all on smells and body scents. It explains how as we age, our bodies become less tolerant to heat as we age. The sweat glands change with age, reducing the body's ability to cool itself effectively. And some fun puns. Which I found very enjoyable and educational! Def recommend the series. If you don't have Netflix, you can look up interesting similar videos here on YT.
I was abused at school from 3rd to 6th grade (very religious teacher and me, aparently a "sinner") and one of the "tools" used to excuse it was that I smelt bad, that I was dirty. I've never had trouble with my hygiene until waaaaaaaaaay later in life, when depression made hard things such as showering or shaving, but even though I knew I was clean and that I cleaned myself I always had trouble with that to the point I started wondering if my nose worked or not. I think the only possitive thing from going through something like that is becoming aware of subjects like these at a young age like, it's truly evil how aparently innocuous things are rooted in discrimination. I'm still scared to death of smelling "bad" or being "dirty".
so not necessarily a perfume, but my cornplant recently bloomed (didn't know they did that) and the scent it gave off would just fill my house around 5pm (the blooms open in the evening). it was like the plant was saying "thank you for taking care of me :)" because I read it's kinda rare for them to do that indoors (idk if that's true).
I had a time in my life whey I showered daily because I saw it on social media (it was at the beginning of social media) while watching many videos made by American creators. I'm from Europe, where it is not really warm for most of the year. So I went back to showering only every two days and, on the not shower day, giving myself a wash under the arms, my feet and private parts. Nothing more and noone ever complained. My hair is now only washed once a week and not every day, which makes it so much better. And I also grew up in a perfume free household as my mother is highly allergic to it.
This has absolutely been a theme I have been thinking about for the last several years, especially as a disabled and neurospicy person. There is so much ableism tied up in Western (North American in my experience) ideas of cleanliness and so many people don’t seem to realize. With my memory and attention span being so fractured, my body hurting and being to hard to work with, chronic fatigue, easily bruised or irritated skin, texture issues, a laundry list of allergies and sensitivities to things like fragrances and colorants and other ingredients that are so commonly used in cleaning/hygiene products, etc. taking a shower is an unexpectedly exhausting and time-consuming experience. It has taken me many years and a lot of patience and gentleness with myself to settle into washing habits that work for me, and to be okay with only being able to manage washing myself on a very limited basis or in stages. It does not look the way those around me engage with cleanliness and I’m okay with that now, but I had to fight to get here. So much of people’s everyday language reminds me of these things, like reliance on deodorants and the pervasive shaming of anyone who doesn’t wear it (never taking any can’t, or won’t/ ethical refusals [marketing, pollution, etc], into consideration), and perfumes for their bodies or homes like febreezes which make me itch or give me respiratory symptoms. I’ve had to sit on public transit for hours with people spraying strong perfumes, coughing and woozy the whole time but unable to take another bus/train, and I was called slurs and given nasty looks when I couldn’t stay upright or tried to ask them to stop. I would very much appreciate a world in which more people would consider the impacts of their ideas of “cleanliness”, and would hold more space and compassion for themselves and others who don’t/can’t subscribe to the same.
It's so tiring seeing everyone talk about acceptance and open-mindedness when their first reaction to someone not having the same priorities as them is disgust :(
I think one of the most toxic things about “cleanliness culture” is the way we (specifically americans) attach morality to cleanliness. You see this a lot on tiktok where finding out someone has “bad hygiene habits” makes you a bad person. Like you talked about, cleanliness is used to other groups of marginalized people, and framing cleanliness as a moral issue is the easiest way to do that.
And the think about clean homes…it’s like people have forgotten homes are lived in and still a dirty American home is way cleaner then it has ever been in history…. They call you disgusting and gross if you don’t sweep mop and vaccume and dust ect every single day!!!! Like I don’t have 3 hours to deep clean my home everyday !! I don’t have time to move my couch and every item to vaccume under and behind things ect every single day. Idk where people find the time ! But homes are lived in! They are still on earth so yes a bit of dust or dirt will exist within your 4 walls!
Agreed 2 both of the comments here. I always find it really uncomfortable if I'm in someone's home and it's so clean it doesn't feel like someone has been living there
As someone with chronic migraines, I have an intense relationship with perfume/colognes. I need to take public transport to get anywhere) and when people wear too much it can cause migraines to trigger. I know people with allergies etc can have the same issues. Most people are unaware they are doing this but if it's a friend I can talk to them about the issue, but when its strangers I can't do much. Especially at peak hour, I can't even really move.
The Care and Keeping of You was essential because it taught me about puberty such as what my anatomy was, what a period is, what training bras are, etc when my family and school would not.
I still have it from my time as a kid in the US! My parents were great about body topics but it was so nice to have a sort of “guide” aimed at girls my age back then. And the drawings were so sweet. ☺️☺️ “The Care and Keeping of friends” was another very cute one that I cherished.
It’s interesting to see this topic tackled by someone who is pro-scents. As an American who is both autistic and allergic to most things, I absolutely hate how normalized perfume is. I cannot go into makeup stores, or most clothe stores in malls. I have to ask ahead of time when meeting new people if they wear perfume.
I'm also very sensitive to smells and allergic to most things that make up scents! I absolutely hate how much laundry products smell - enough that you can wash a thrift shop shirt six times before the smell of the fabric softener doesn't make your breath seize. Cleaning products are so scented that if you buy toilet paper from a store that has them in the same aisle as detergents, the toilet paper will stink up your entire bathroom from whatever infused it through the plastic packaging. I adore some smells (like orange peel oil, rosemary oil, cardamom) that are crisp but not overpowering and don't upset my allergies. But the rest of it? There's *so much* of it, everywhere
Perfume or strong smells in general trigger my migraines. The way people douse themselves in body sprays is truly my nightmare, especially at work when I can't escape the space.
I am an HSP. Strong smells give me headaches or even nausea. The products I use mostly have no smell (also due to allergies) or only a very slight fresh smell. I don't use perfume and only use a little fabric softener when washing. But I love natural greens like grass or lavender. Everything else usually smells too strong for me. That's also the reason why I'm maybe a bit too obsessed with showering because of body odor... Sometimes this odor sensitivity can be really exhausting, especially when you're with people or at their house. :/
Glad to finally see a comment from someone who is similar to me w/ sensitivity to many fragrances. I think our society is overly obsessed with adding heavy scents to everything. Like scented trash bags??? I don’t understand how that makes anything more pleasant. I’d rather smell garbage than garbage+fake perfume odor. Ugh. People who really load up on the perfume, air fresheners, scented lotions, etc. are doing so because they like those smells, but are often really oblivious to how much that can negatively affect sensitive people around them. I’ve gotten countless migraines due to scent triggers, especially very cloying “baked goods” type scents (which smell nothing like the real thing IMO!). Unlike excess noise, which can be remedied with noise cancelling headphones or earplugs, the overabundance of artificial scents is really impossible to avoid if you can’t physically distance yourself. Sorry this is a really long comment, I just friggin hate being in sensory hell sometimes, lol.
I see a lot of Brazilians in the comments talking about how everyone in Brazil showers every day multiple times, but I honestly think there is such a significant amount of people that don't but pretend they do. I myself always felt such shame of my body's boddly things, my vaginal discharge, sweating, dandruff, my oily skin...and beeing a neurodivergent person showering feels good but can be so demanding of my executive function sometimes. I don't usually shower multiple times a day and sometimes I do go a day without showering, I do feel kind of ashamed even though I know I don't actually need it, my body odor is not strong and my skin is very sensitive after accutane. I feel like most times if I admit not showering every day this will make be disgusted and think ill of me even though they never have seen me smelly or dirty. This brings up for me such a fear of rejection and humiliation it's actually contradictory because even though I don't follow the social norm here I actually am somewhat clean obsessed and that's frequently pointed out. I imagine that there are other people with similar experiences here.
I saw this comment from another Brazilian talking about how this kind of became a way to reverse card gringos for being dirty and just have something to feel superior about, and I get it I do myself think gringos can be less hygienic, but the moral connotation....uhg it does back fires I think
Race and geographic locations aside, every good doctor and every specialist in the human skin will tell you that personal hygiene isn't the same for everyone. That is why it is personal. The people that sweat more easily, have more oil prone skin will most likely take more showers. If you have dry, easily more irritated skin, you would probably benefit from not taking many showers. I have heard people say they only shower 4 times a week, so they skip every other day. Do what works best for your body and do not let these weird little hygienic pick me's convince you that YOUR routine for YOUR body isn't hygienic enough. At the end of the day, if you are doing what is best for your body, it is nobody else's business or place to even speak on it. Especially of you are literally following the advice that many doctors have been giving for years now.
A million times YES. As a brazilian living abroad I feel pressured to agree with other brazilians on how disgusting it is that they don’t shower every day here, and that is usually a comment that comes full of arrogance and resentment. I for one prefer to point out how developed countries are only rich because they exploited colonies and “third world” peoples for ages, than feeling superior for showering every day in winter. Which I don’t, it’s freaking -5 degrees. To each their own, of course, it just gets annoying when there is social pressure to brag about how many showers you take.
A little metaphor: right now, there's a trend of using activated charcoal in products. It's a buzzword, cheap and eye-catching. You can get toothpaste with it, teeth whitening strips, pills. And it does "suck out toxins"! However, it does so by indiscriminately soaking up whatever it can get. Your teeth get whiter because it's stripping the enamel off them (VERY BAD), and ingesting it turns any meds you take into expensive candy. That's why they use it for overdoses. Get clean at the harm of vital parts of your body!!
@@tymondabrowski12 oh my god I even put the moral of the story at the end. it's about how the attempts to appear more beautiful can make your health worse. Come on stop trying to be smart
I shower and bathe more than I should not because I feel dirty but because it’s just soothing for me. When I shower before I go to bed I sleep like a baby.
I am naturally a messy person and I currently have very bad depression, I've had it for a few years now, and it only increased and got worse and I hate it when people outright say how much of a mess and how disgusting my room is. Like, I know that, but I have no motivation to help or clean up and whenever I do clean it up it ends up going back to the way it was before not too long afterwards. I wish people would offer constant help to people who struggle, or just do anything other than say how messy your room is as it only makes it worse. Not better- Sorry for the rant, please continue on your journey in the comments
I am also in the same situation. It's a little bit better now but i still have a long way to go be a normal person clean. It really helps only doing simple cleaning that takes less than 5 minutes. Anything more than 5 min is too much brainpower and i shut down. And people will just mind their own business but won't mind their words. A lot of people say shit about stuff but doesn't do anything about it. You've got to ask them for help because they won't know if you want or need their help. Again, people don't give a shit. P.S. I am also ranting, and i do hope we all get better in time.
I have some wicked bad cleaning problems. Have small goals and finish them. Get that wrapper off the floor. Clear enough space on the table for your cup. Clean to make yourself feel good, not because you have to. Don't neg yourself into cleaning. That's a great way to guarantee frustration. Clean to have a clean room. Best of luck. As long as your mess isn't damaging your home or health, what's the problem? Cheers and good luck.
America’s created a strange voyeuristic entertainment around struggling with messiness, to the point that we've had very popular shows such as Hoarders where we can go inside people’s homes to get an inside view of people having a hard time keeping things neat and clean. Messiness is very common in the US (largely because Americans have too much stuff) and it’s interesting how we view the issue and see others who are messy, even to the extreme of being hoarders.
But hoarding is an actual, serious mental illness that is either part of, connected to, or extremely comorbid with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, not just people with messy house because American consumerism/capitalism encourages them to buy more stuff than they need or can reasonably keep organized.
What helped me was: - have less stuff -> less clothes, less mess (and we dont use a huge part of our wardrobe). You can even sell some. - if possible, just a cover for your bed -> easier to make it presentable and since the bed is the main feature of a bedroom, a made bed makes the room feel tidier -have light in your space. Make sure to open the curtains. I always open them as soon as i wake up -have stuff organized -> this doesn't mean tidy. It just means, everything has a space. Then, when you need to clean, you don't even think of where to put stuff. You just know that t-shirts are in the left side and sweaters of the right side (this is an example, ofc). Also, this one will take a loooong time untill you are satisfied. And you probably can only do it when you have bursts of productivity -have a laundry basket with divisions-> if you have whites and colors already divided, then you just take the whites when its full and chug it inside the washing machine. Makes the process a no brainer. -have a friend help you. I've never done this, but I'd totally do it for a friend. (This one is hard, since it involves being super vulnerable) -experiment your own tecniques. You know you have low energy, so what can you do to maintain a presentable room with as little energy as possible? Sorry for unsolicited advice. Its just that ive been in a much worse state than i am now and my room is only presentable because i started to adopted a set of rules that take little energy. Like, I'll just throw dirty clothes to the floor, never clean ones, and when i have more energy, I'll pick up the pile and put it in the basket. I wish you the best of luck
Smell is a very important factor in forming memories. Marketers figured this out and they spray perfumes into the HVAC system in order to drive home their brand into their customers
Yes, this is prominent in hotel lobbies; banquet halls; casinos; fitness centers, medical facilities; spas and office buildings. It's done via cold-air diffusion technology, and it's been around since the 40s.
THE CARE AND KEEPING OF YOU MADE ME THINK ONCE WE GOT OUR PERIODS IT WAS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOREVER AND I WAS TOO SCARED TO ASK MY MOM 😂 f that book lmao
The dialogue in the comments is just as valuable as the video- it’s so interesting to hear everyone sharing how widely perspectives differ. I know as a disabled person that the relatively recent to the last few years internet trend of shaming/mocking people’s bath/shower habits has been…. Uncomfy to say the least. It’s hard to reconcile societal/cultural expectations (even in jest) with a physical inability to follow them. Sometimes I shower and brush my teeth three times a day, and sometimes I am bedridden for months and also quarantined from others with no energy to lift my arms so my hair ends up in one huge mat until someone can help with it. On a pretty regular basis, I don’t have the physical ability to stand in the shower for 40 minutes (or the money to heat the water) and scrub every inch of my body. It took me a long time especially as a person with an ostomy bag- one of the the primary things people consider “disgusting and unclean”- to not consider myself “dirty”. This definitely applies even moreso to folks who need permanent 24/7 assistance with basic tasks like toileting and bathing, and I’d love to see weaponizing peoples presumed cleanliness as a joke die off entirely- or at least make vocal exceptions for those who CAN’T do certain things vs choose not to.
My favorite description of a perfume is hands down Odeur 71 by Comme des Garçons. It’s pure poetry and 100% really how they describe this scent. “Smell of dust on a Hot Light-Bulb, Warm Photocopier Toner, Hot Metal, A Toaster, Freshly Welded Aluminium, The Ink in a Fountain Pen, Fresh Pencil Shavings, Wood and Moss, Bay Leaves and Bamboo, White Pepper, Hyacinth, Lettuce Juice.” It’s seriously perfect hahaha! I was raised by dad so I grew up using his cologne. To this day I don’t identify with most scents catered to women. My favorite perfumes are always discontinued. Currently my favorite is Bronze Wood and Leather by Jo Malone. The people at the store told me Americans just don’t like it because of the “heavy leather scent” and that basically the only people who bought it were French. I’m not quite sure what they were trying to say hahaha! When I first moved to NY 20 years ago I loved smelling Demeter scents. Earth worm was my favorite. It literally smells like fresh dirt and grass after the rain. They have scents like Thunderstorm, Turpentine, Lava Rock, Paperback and Play Doh.
I highly recommend Beyond Soap, which is a book written by a Canadian Dermatologist, it is a very easy read. Anyone pushing back on the concept of society being over clean hasn't separated the marketing from the science. It's not about not showering, which most people I find get hung up here and refuse to listen. It's about doing it right and with the right products. Over cleaning is linked to the rise in allergies, contact dermatitis, and more so re-learning how to clean ourselves properly is important.
💯 ...I was horrified to read the fine print on Johnson & Johnson baby wash that said it could cause skin irritation... but it makes sense. I always mean to research the ingredients in soaps and lotions...
I remember in band class one time a boy called me dirty after asking if I showered at night or in the morning, and I told him at night. And then he told the whole class that I didnt shower and was unclean... it has honestly given me a complex about hygiene after all these years. That and the fact that my mom pushed an unhealthy and unfair rhetoric about hygiene on me growing up. She would tell me I smelled and that my nose didnt work every day of my life even if I was just freshly out of the shower and deodorized. Now as an adult I have terrible eczema and using too much soap makes my skin get hot and itchy. Idk if its due to over-washing growing up or genetic because I know some members of my family have other skin issues, but now I have to experiment differently with my hygiene to try and meet my skin somewhere in the middle, like by maybe towel-washing some days instead of showering every day, or using clays in my armpits on some days instead of deodorant every day. My skin has now developed allergies to even all unscented, non-aluminum containing soaps. In fact, there is currently only one deodorant in the world I can use without making my skin bleed.
I'm very sorry for you, from a fellow hardcore eczema sufferer! After years of trying everything, I can only use one specific soap for hair and body, and absolutely nothing else on my skin, no moisturizer, no makeup (eyelid eczema is the worst). Luckily I can take deodorant just fine. I also shower as less as I can, every two-three days usually, and just towel bath and use the bidet daily. My skin now looks and feels totally fine since I stopped with the overshowering and products, but it will flare like crazy if I change anything. I also have to control what I eat and avoid any stress. I haven't had any complaints about odor, because basically I don't sweat nor produce oil (that is why I have eczema), and actually many partners have complimented my smell unprompted before knowing my habits.
You mentioned struggling with eczema. I have too, along with other autoimmune issues. I had a really bad version on my hands. Trial and error, learned some triggers, wheat and soy, & it's much improved since avoiding those. I still have it but better. You might want to figure out if you have any food intolerances.
Many years ago I dated a dude who, for legitimate childhood trauma related reasons, was extraordinarily clean & bathed at least twice a day, brushed his teeth multiple times a day as well. Then he started telling me I had bad breath all the time. I brushed twice a day, didn’t have cavities, no reason for stinky breath, and ended up getting SUPER self conscious about it. The next time I hung out with my best friend I asked her to tell me if my breath smelled (because I knew she’d be 100% honest) and she was baffled, said my BF was nuts. I confronted him about it and it turns out that if my mouth just smelled like normal, regular, not-stinky clean mouth and NOT minty fresh toothpaste smell, he considered it “bad breath”. It made me really angry with him.
@@andromedaspark2241 It's really interesting that you say that because I just got tested for celiacs due to some stomach pain a couple weeks ago and thankfully I *don't* have celiacs but it turns out that I DO have some light intolerance to either wheat or gluten (I have to double check my notes of which it is, I know they're different) and the doctor said I would henefit from a grain or gluten free diet. I didn't pursue it further after he said it was just an intolerance but your comment has intrigued me and motivated me to look into it further! Thank you.
I can understand why you may not want to but please consider doing a video revisiting The Care And Keeping of You ♡ That book was honestly a major part of my adolescent development and I'd love to know if it still holds up and might be a viable option for helping my own daughter's learn 😊
I come from a Japanese family that has germs/dirt-related OCD running rampant, so sweat and dirt have always been a big no-no. Drespite me not having ocd myself, the absurd level of cleanliness have been instilled so deep that I've had panic attacks from being sweaty. I am aware that it's less than ideal and constantly make efforts to interact with "dirty" things (like anything public, like benches, railings, etc) without freaking out, but it's really hard, especially in a post-covid world. Also, I collect perfume samples and really love fun fragrances. I especially like this indie brand named Alkemia! They have a Saint Louis cemetery scented one that is my absolute favourite. It smells just like the real place.
Thanks to social media, I realised, that the same people who oppressed me about "smelling"/"cleanliness" were the same people who dont wash their legs or stopped showering altogether. 🙃
Yes! Thank you, Mina! I have long been a supporter of the understanding the "hygiene" is more focused on aesthetic than health and is driven more by advertisement and propaganda than sound medical advice.
I remember when I was a young teen (13 or something like that), we went on Omegle and talked with some european girls. They asked us if we had clean water to wash ourselves (context: I live in South America). Bitch, I take showers daily, and even my grandma had potable water when she was little lol Just because we're on the third world doesn't mean we don't have the basics (and even more).
No need to be so rude. You were on Omegle, wtf do you expect? They were probably young girls who don’t know anything about your country. There is poverty everywhere. Don’t act like you know everything about every culture. You most likely don’t know very much about Europe either. Most Americans are dumb as shit when it comes to Europe 🤦🏻♀️
@@xCindyLouWhox dont underestimate how mean/dumb some people can be. as a brazilian teen, i used to be on omegle with friends all the time and people had the nerve to ask us if we had wifi lol
this is such a fascinating topic that I've never even thought of before. as a hairstylist I often end up telling clients to shampoo less because shampooing every single day is very hard on your hair and on your scalp. my suggested is at least every other day but 2-3 times a week is good for most people, some can go much longer but some people have to wash everyday for whatever reason that may be, there's not really a wrong answer but less is better.
12:09 I saw in a BBC documentary that during the post Black Death era, while they did not bath in water, they would use dry cloths to rub down their bodies regularly, effectively removing oil, debris, and dead skin from the body, and would use wooden combs, which does the same thing, and is currently a hair care trend because wooden combs spread sebum from your scalp to your ends. In English society at the time, cleanliness was still close to Godliness, and was a trait which people were judged by. Also, bad smells were supposed to bring bad humors, so people would often place herbs under what was effectively their mattresses and carpets, which was to be changed with the seasons. This applied to working class farmers, as well.
Im in love with replica sents, i use “jazz club” as my signiture sent i love it so so much the description is “heady cocktails and cigars” its so unique especially as a perfume it has some masculene undertones but yes love the brand replica
Jazz Club is my favourite too! It also manages to last long but not have a big "throw" so it doesn't bother people by filling a whole room. Amazing smell
Mina! I’m so glad you mentioned finishing your course of antibiotics. I know it’s not the focus of the video but YES! Finish them AND don’t take them unless prescribed by a professional. Great content as always
On the bit about over-sanitizing: my brother used to have a lot of allergy problems as a child that disappeared entirely once he befriended a kid from a farmer family and consequently spent a lot of time on that farm (where his immune system presumably encountered plenty of bacteria to adapt to). Obviously one kid does not a representative study make, but the conclusion that a "well-trained" immune system equals less allergies makes perfect sense to me. Also, thank you for telling us about the Zoologist perfumes! I haven't bothered much with perfumes in a while because they started to seem rather samey to me, but the Zoologist ones sound really unique and unusual. I'll definitely be checking them out!
As someone who likes outdoor activities that make me smell of sweat and dirt, it’s kinda hard in the US to live like that cause I’m always afraid/ nervous of what other people would think of me if I’m smelly. I’ve gotten more over this over time but there are still some times when it causes my anxiety to spike.
I think that this thing about not showering everyday is a very north hemysphere thing to do, because, here in Brazil everyone takes showers everyday eve multiple times a day, a practice that came from the indigenous people because it's hot in here like, you will be unconfortable if you dont shower everyday at least once
Não mesmo, isso é algo da cultura brasileira. Se vc for nos países vizinhos do Brasil (Bolívia, Peru, Argentina) vc verá que o pessoal não toma tanto banho assim. Eu visitei os Andes e boa parte das pessoas que via tinham o cabelo bem oleoso, dava pra ver que não lavavam com frequência. Aqui no Brasil temos um clima quente e grandes reservas de água, o que nos possibilita tomar tantos banhos.
I’m german and i shower like 5/7 days a week. My brazilian boyfriend had a hard time adjusting to the cold climate here with showering twice a day :’D his skin would get super dry, even with lotion. he changed his habit now, but in the beginning he didn’t feel good about not showering so often. In the beginning He was also pretty shocked to hear that i don’t shower every every day 😂 before i visited brazil, i couldn’t imagine showering twice or three times a day, but now i understand! Its soo humid in some places 😊 i kinda enjoy these cultural differences, i think they are super interesting 😊
I've lived in tropical Asian countries, and it was great to take a shower every day. But back in Pennsylvania, it's so dry in the winter because of the heating system, that a shower every day is terrible for my skin.
@@tsoialina Nem td o Brasil tem água em abundância. Mts sofrem com a seca e em regiões periféricas de mt cidade grande é comum faltar água ou ter fornecimento com qualidade horrível (vide a geosmina na água no RJ). Ainda assim a gente dá um gento de banhar. Como diz o ditado, "sou pobre, mas sou limpinha"😂😂 Apesar do clima ser um fator mt importante, tem mt gringo que vem pra cá e msm com o calor insuportável do verão não toma banho. Queria ver um vídeo desses na perspectiva brasileira. Sério, o q explica a sensação de prazer que a gente tem de tomar um banho com produtos simples e se sentir limpo e fresquinho dps?? Pq os gringos não apreciam isso? Kkkkkkk
Loved to know the history behind cleanliness. When I saw the title of this video I immediately clicked as cleanliness has been something I’ve been reflecting a lot about, as Through my personal experience and also seeing different cultures dealing with cleanliness. I feel like this reflects a lot on our state of mind. My psychologist mom used to say that the way our room/house is organised (or disorganised) is a projection of the way our minds find themselves at that moment of life. Thus, chaos would reflect chaos. I also find that the opposite also occurs when it comes to anxiety, depression and other mental disorders (ps for the word “disorders”), as cleaning and organising as to bringing a sense of cleanliness for the chaos in one’s mind. Or representing the urge to solve intangible things that are transferred to solving/cleaning the surroundings. Also in a cultural bias, I felt that in some cultures where sexuality is treated as a taboo, often the obsession with cleanliness can possibly be a way of “cleaning the dirty aims of one’s body”. It’s all just a reflection I’ve been having though. Not affirming anything 😊
i love perfumes for one reason : my grandma had one very specific perfume and when i smell it nowadays i always have an idiot smile on my face because it reminds me of her. It's one of the last things i remember of her with her voice and pictures. For the rest, i hate perfume, i'm super sensitive to smells and perfume is my personnal nightmare, especially when humans have so many different smells, i'm sad seeing people hide that. It's a part of us. And as someone who is in depression and sometimes cannot leave my bed, the obsession with cleanliness is becoming so complicated to see. I've seen people here in France arguing that if you don't shower twice a day you're disgusting and when you don't have the strength to shower every day hurts so badly.
I was thinking about how this culture around perfumes is really inhibitory to disabled or chronically ill people. Not only do we have more issues with maintaining hygiene many of us are are smell sensitive, or have pretty sever allergies. I almost got into perfume when I started getting into fashion, and then realized that most smells I would probably hate if I had to smell them over and over again on my body. The concentrated scent would probably make me overstimulated or have a physical reaction. I don't know, I've been thinking about how so many things are prohibitory for disabled people and how in many small and big ways we are isolated from public life. Who needs ugly laws when the outside world is so hostile to you that its completely inaccessible, especially considering how now the world is trying to pretend the pandemic is over and is really leaving us out to die.
Something I forgot to mention is that living in different climates can also affect how often you need to clean! This video is from the perspective of someone living in the Northeastern U.S. and the particular U.S. (and by extension, European) cleanliness culture. (When i was in Vietnam, it's was so f'ing hot and humid there and I was sweating like i ran a marathon every day.) But even more so, when I talk about showering often and how it *can* be unnecessary, it's more about the millions of shampoos and products that we are marketed to use when we shower, not just the act of rinsing your hair and body with water.
I was thinking while watching this about how Japan still has a strong bathing culture. When I visited, I loved the Onsens. There is also some fun cool themed ones as well. But it’s supposed to be very relaxing and you get to see your community as well which I think is important. They also don’t have as much space as America does so building bath houses to me instead of big bathrooms everywhere makes a lot of sense to me.
You should always call us sewer rats
I feel like we SHOULDN'T encourage people to stop using soap 🤣🤣 we already have a problem with stinky people forcing their body oders on the public while at the grocery store or in the gas station or at work. Do you really want EVERYWHERE you go to smell like an anime convention!?!!! 🤣🤣
@@WhitneyDahlin that’s not the message of the video as she stated ^^
True, but it can also be bad for your hair and skin to wash yourself that much
I have a bachelor's in microbiology. Half of my classmates are absolutely germophobic the other half will eat food that fell on the floor in 5 seconds because you need to get your immunity somehow.
Lol
I am the ground garbage goblin
@@xxwintermoonxx1528 same
@@xxwintermoonxx1528 "Im your little GARBAGE BITCH" - trixie martel
I’m a little mix of both
People somehow forgot that the main point of cleanliness is health. If it is cold and dry during winter it can be quite unhealthy for your skin to obsessively shower. And if you have different hair structures it can also be unhealthy to wash your hair everyday. So we really shouldn‘t compare our habits to people in a completely different climate with completely different bodily needs.
I think the main point is that people who are looking to make money will find a way to use whatever they can to sell, so even something like knowledge or behaviors that should serve the general population of humans is used to feed into consumerism
Exactly. There is a huge gap between percieved cleanliness/hygene and actual cleanliness/hygene
true that. i live in a tropical climate where showering or bathing at least once a day is expected of you due to cultural and hygienic reasons. as a result of the hot afternoon temperatures and heat, we produce more amounts of sweat than people in colder climates. and thus, the need for stronger odours to mask the daily sweat and grime is essential.
Nice excuse for being gross.
@@germcrazyshokoff3623 what’s ”gross” aboit what she wrote? 🤔
When my sister was a baby my mom told me something her mom taught her, so her baby could sleep on their own without her needing to be next to them.
It was to wear a shirt all day and around your baby and when they go to sleep or take a nap, take it off, and wrap your baby in it/put on them (you get the gist) so the baby will smell you and think your around and be more likely to stay asleep longer. And it works! Babies are smart and can recognize the smell of their caregiver. Super cool thing to know :)
Yo this is cool as hell.
Yep! That's how I used to get my daughter to sleep 😊
Thank you so much for this!!!! I am 4 weeks away from my due date. This is needed!
Works on cats, too, lol. We sent one of my husband’s old t shirts with one of our kitties when he had to stay several days at the vet. He wore it all day, then I wore it as a nightshirt. Kitty had the smell of his humans and home with him.
@@icydrouge6674 make sure you are practicing safe sleep though your baby could suffocate from a loose blanket or t-shirt
interesting! I'm from the Middle East and cleanliness is super prioritised.. I remember when I lived in the UK and told a friend I usually never leave the house without showering because I don't feel good doing that, he called me arrogant. I was surprised, out of all the things you could say he choose arrogance! Cleaning rituals differs heavily from culture to culture
I was always under the impression that bathing was integral to Middle Eastern culture because you can't get into a mosque without cleaning yourself. I think it's somewhere in the Quran--that the worship of Allah required that you clean yourself with pure water first. I remember when I backpacked through the Middle East many moons ago that mosques always had these fountains where you could wash your hands and feet.
I’m from Brazil and I have the same habit! I don’t feel comfortable leaving the house without showering, so I always shower before leaving the house. And most people I know do the same. I believe it’s really common here to!
@@giuloss also Brazilian here. I don't always shower before going out (try showering at 6am in the cold of 5c° to go to class). But I don't like to go to bet without a shower, especially because my feet seem so dusty
I'm Japanese and cleanliness and baths are a huge part of our culture so I feel this
Ukrainian here, our diplomats throughout the history were always made fun of, because they would clean themselves and care about hygiene🙃 not to mention that we were literally the ones to teach French about basic cutlery.
As a disabled person I often don’t have the energy to do more than the bare minimum and I always felt ashamed when people said they shower every day because I physically cannot do that. My condition can also cause excessive sweating which made me feel really gross in high school
Have no shame.... and remember the no-leg-washing confessions of those claiming to bathe daily 😅
im disabled too and have felt this, my mom doesnt shower everyday either, f it lol
I find that as a disabled person who doesn't move that much and has generally low body temp, I really don't need to shower as often when I can't anyway because I'm not producing any smells (or breeding the bacteria that causes the bad ones). Even when I do though, as everyone does, it's okay. Think about all the people with full energy who do manual labour or sports, and may not shower right away or every single day - it's okay for them, their sweat is even considered attractive by many. There's unfair stigma and ableist ideas about disabled people being unclean, based on prejudice and Capitalist ideals meant to shame disabled people into masking and damaging their own bodies and minds in order to produce more for the benefit of others, as well as make non-disabled people engage less with the community so our rights and needs are more likely to be ignored.
You're doing the best you can; do what's best for your body and you deserve respect for just that, as genuine self care, that doesn't come in a bottle, is a very hard skill to learn x
I literally grew up in a household that showers every 2 days that daily showers was already a foreign concept to me and that’s actually not that uncommon so you don’t need to worry! As the video said, showering daily is actually unnecessary and even excessive.
@@sapphic.flower same! We showered every other day unless we did something to get sweaty or the pool
When I started going through puberty at around 13 years old, I would bathe and wash my hair everyday but my hair was still always soooooooooooo greasy that the other kids in my sixth-grade class made fun of me.
This culminated in me finally getting sent to the school nurses office later on in the year so she could talk to me about 'hygiene'. She was a really rude, blunt woman who told me straight up that the other kids in my class were complaining about the way I smelled and that they didn't like sitting near me. She then started to interrogate me about whether or not I showered/bathed regularly (i.e. daily) and if I actually used soap, shampoo, or deodorant, and if I knew how deodorant worked.
It was already humiliating that other kids would make fun of me to my face about my greasy hair, and then being told that they were complaining at school to anyone who would listen just made me develop a paranoia about being perceived as "clean".
I still have hang ups about this. I feel compelled to shower everyday, more if I have to go somewhere later on, I reapply deodorant very frequently if I get even a hint of musky armpits, and even keeping myself clean "downstairs" I feel so self conscious about any perceived smells or odors, that I won't let my boyfriend put his face anywhere near that area. All of it just makes me feel too vulnerable and exposed, if someone smelled me and said I reeked, I would be that lonely, humiliated middle school kid all over again.
Sorry that happened to you. This is awful and things like that can stay with you for the longest time... I hope you find a way to be at ease someday - whatever that looks like for you personally (not all trauma has to be 'overcome'. Sometimes you just need people to respect your boundries). Be kind to yourself, we are all very smelly and neurotic human creatures and that's okay.
I am so sorry. You can bet your bunny boots that your boyf loves your natural scent
Ugh, that sucks. I got a little bit bullied in school and among other things my classmates called me smelly and disgusting. I knew that they were just rude, but over time it did get to me, so I started to shower extra thoroughly, used a bunch of deodorant and adopted a myriad of habits to be as hygienic as possible, like washing my hands twice back to back, sleeping with socks on or keeping my nails really short. Most of these habits I still have to do to feel non-disgusting. Plus whenever the topic of hygiene is vaguely mentioned around me, I immediately suspect that my friends/family/strangers just want to politely tell me that I have terrible BO. And I can't even trust my nose to tell me accurately how I smell, it's as if I have scent-dysmorphia.
Hurts me to read this but I can relate :(
i am so sorry you had to experience this. kids can be absolutely horrific.
I often find it so weird, that characters in movies don't seem to smell stuff. Like when they are in a dark room and they don't smell a gigantic monster or people that are inches away from them.
I remember hearing about a young pair of siblings that woke up during a house robbery because they could smell the burglar's feet/footwear.
@@pysq8 goddamn imagine being incriminated for a crime bc of your nasty ass feet 💀
o.o
As someone with curly hair, I get shocked faces from people with straight hair whenever I say I wash my hair twice a week. My hair would be brittle and dry if washed it every day! I also think there's a lot of anti-POC mentalities when it comes to hair cleanliness - I hear non-POCs talk about how gross it is to not wash your hair often, and I even remember Onision (?) put out a video years ago tearing apart a Black woman's hair routine because it was so dirty. What people don't realize is both how hair and your scalp's sebum (natural oils) work to regulate our hair's oiliness, and by washing it every day, you're removing those oils and making your hair dryer. Also, textured hair is naturally more porous and needs those oils to survive!
I have baby fine, pin straight hair that I wash once, maybe twice a week at best (and NEVER use conditioner) because otherwise it gets oily AF. Like disgustingly, visibly oily to where I want to puke…but it’s CLEAN lol.
My parents grew up poor in the rural Midwest during the Depression- my mom used to recount stories of taking a bath once a week in a tin washtub & having to share the bath water with her little sister, lol. They bathed more often than that as adults with indoor plumbing, but were NOT daily bathers by any means. And they both worked professional engineering jobs in the aerospace industry so it sure AF wasn’t something other people noticed LOL.
I know plenty of people with straight hair who also wash their hair only twice a week. In fact it's the norm in Italy even for straight haired Italians.
I wash my hair once a week, unless I have an event of some kind. It works for my curly hair!
yes!! even though i am white i have sort of loosely curly hair and for YEARS i wondered why i had such horrible dandruff issues and “poofy” frizzy hair. i literally didn’t know my hair was curly until i was like 19 because i grew up thinking you had to wash your hair 4-5 times a week. when i switched to washing my hair twice a week, my dandruff almost completely went away within a few months. it was amazing. and that was on loose curly hair! i can’t imagine the havoc that a 5x week wash day schedule would wreak on someone with coily or kinky hair.
i have fine, wavy-ish hair and i wash them no more than three times a week. It used to be two but I'm using some spray to strengthen it now so it gets oily faster. I find it bizarre to wash your hair daily if it looks okay.
I'm Russian and I just can't imagine how one can be so obsessed with cleanliness and be wearing outside clothes and boots at home at the same time. For me this is one of the mysteries of the western world
American here, and I can say that I do feel much cleaner when I switch to inside shoes and home clothes inside my home. It is hard to enforce as a general policy here since culturally people are uncomfortable removing their shoes at someone else’s home.
American here but I was originally Canadian. Wearing shoes indoors is just wrong on so many levels... and if someone needs shoes for support I would kindly ask them to bring house slippers or house-only shoes if they were going to be coming over. Plus, most of my house is carpeted. I do not want dirt/poop from outside tracked into my home dirtying it up.
@@ChampagneandWaffles People learn fast. I never allow someone to just have their shoes on in my house unless they brought a separate pair that isn't for outdoors. Also, you can buy shoe covers pretty cheap that healthcare workers and maintenance workers wear! Keep them by the door so if someone didn't come prepared but needs shoes on for health reasons they can put those on.
I have house shoes I wear. We are in Okinawa and the norm in Japanese homes is shoes off. I don't change clothes from street clothes usually but I don't lay on my bed unless I'm in sleep clothes.
Your ppl don't have washing machines and inside toilets... what cleanliness you're talking about
Damn, it’s crazy how Mina just keeps churning out these incredibly well edited and deeply researched videos.
She missed the bit about the water being unsafe in the 17th century
Hear! Freakin Hear!!! Love this channel to the max!!! Fascinating content! Recommended a few of my students to take a visit here!!!
And wearing awesome outfits and just looking generally amazing doing it!
Mina is truly exceptional.
It is well-researched internationally and historically. I was surprised that not one mention was made of cleanliness as it applies to the US and within the last 40, 50yrs.... aka, fairly recently. We don’t have to go back to 15th century European kings. We can simply look at modern America and its cloak of using “cleanliness” as a mask for government sponsored racism.
The reason there are very few municipal pools open to this day and the reason an entire private swimming pool industry has been developed for backyard pools in the US is that once American integration was enacted by the eariy 70s, Black people were swimming with white people in public pools all across America, by law.
The problem with that was Black people were historically deemed as inherently “dirty” and said to be “carriers of many diseases.” Black people weren’t to be accepted in these “intimate” interactions of partially clothed swimming and be part of white culture in such a close way.
So, rather than local governments obeying the laws that all municipal activities and properties would be made open to all taxpayers and municipal residents, municipalities chose rather to shut their pools down and pave them over to stop Black people from entering these spaces. All Americans now have very few public pool options and have built a pool in their own backyard if they wish to swim in a pool outdoors. This vast change in how America swims - from public to private - is a direct result of the end of community and municipal pools and a result of racism that was veiled in America’s “cleanliness” and “purity.” This, too, should be mentioned.
It's sad to see how even the most basic of ideals are rooted in classism, racism, ableism and sexism.
exactly, and there was this boy in my class and he was such an asshole he was sexist saying we couldn’t play basketball because we were girls, he would constantly sexualize us, saying “girls are so sensitive” or “females cry so much” called us ugly. and he said if his child was gay he would beat them, and he made fun of disabled people, all right infront of peoples faces and never got in trouble. and even after that the girls in my class still wanted to be friends with him.
@@hcneymoon He was a mess, he was definitely projecting. Parents worry about their child being queer or trans, but their kids being straight up assholes is okay and definitely fine
@@hcneymoon I really hope that kid doesn’t have kids- he’ll turn into my dad bro 😭😭😭
hopefully in the next hundred years (if we last that long) those standards will have changed for the better and not just evolved into something else lmao
@@hcneymoon that kid has some disgusting parents LMAO i stg there needs to be a parenting license for people to have kids.
There's literally a trend right now that are "clean girl perfumes." Also, almost all floral perfumes, and especially designer perfumes, are stripped of their indolic/dirty elements, which are part of what makes jasmine smell like jasmine, or tuberose smell like tuberose
Also, during the hippie movement, there was a boom in perfumes with a lot of patchouli, which often has an earthy/dirty quality, which makes sense with this movement of the natural body and nature itself
I buy perfume oils from a niche small company run by someone I know and my FAVORITES are the ones that people often review as “stinky” - Jasmine, musk, vetiver, patchouli. With my body chemistry, they smell absolutely HEAVENLY, even the ones I’ve seen people gives reviews like “this literally smells like cat poop and I gagged before I threw it in the trash, I couldn’t even try it” LOL.
Conversely, light floral scents get sucked up and instantly disappear, gone, poof, can’t even smell them 5 minutes later. Though I really do love me some old school heavy old lady florals!
@jankk I got a perfume from Pacifica called Tahitian Gardenia that, according to my mom and sister, smells like old lady perfume and I love it. I always loved the smell of my Nana's "Field of Flowers" scented powders, old lady scents are just amazing to me as well. Unfortunately I can't use my Tahitian Gardenia perfume very often because my mom has bad allergies :((
Honestly this explains why I can never find rose scented things that actually smell like roses. It's always "fresh cut" (aka nothing) or it smells like a different flower entirely!!!
My husband and I are goth/ alternative and we adore deep, rich complex moody perfumes🖤🖤 I love womens perfumes that add notes that are often viewed as "masculine" or too strong like incense, tobacco, oud and myrrh, that complement the more "femenine" notes. These rich, strong notes paired with Rose, Plum, Blackcurrant or Fig is heavenly to me!!🥰
My favorite perfumes are from Amouroud, Memoize London, Initio Parfums, Mancera and Amouage. They're expensive, sure, but ONE spritz lasts all day!!😌 My husband loves fugueres and deep moody oud perfumes with rose, lavender, patchouli, rum, tobacco.
I can't even with the basic, boring, run of the mill perfume from luxury fashion houses (Gucci, Chanel, Dolce & Gabbana😮💨). Calvin Klein is the worst!!! These perfumes just dissipate, or is so recycled with one scent having 20 different flankers that aren't interesting or innovative. I'd get a body mist over an overpriced, basic Eau de toilette or a weak ass cologne any day. My husband and I only purchase Parfums and extrait de Parfums for the lasting power.
Oh, and definitely crazy for the original creations in oil perfumes from BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab)!!🖤💜🖤💜
as a Black American i find it very hard to break away from my need of cleanliness. when our ancestors were enslaved they weren’t granted the privilege of hygiene practices. for anyone who doesn’t know a very common thing is for Black parents to make sure their kids wash themselves daily. doing things like making sure they clean behind their ear or smelling them is common. if the kid doesn’t do a good enough job they’re told to go back to the bath. so when i met a White mom who said they only wash their baby once a week i was shocked.
there is even discourse in the Black community about how often you should replace your wash cloths and towels. with conversations like this it is important to think about racial minorities and how we are conditioned in different ways.
A big reason Black Americans are so concerned with cleanliness is because for centuries they were viewed as dirty due to racism. So it makes sense that Black American culture became so preoccupied with cleanliness to try to stop these racist comments.
To be fair, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something to “break away from”. If you are more comfortable keeping those habits there is nothing wrong with that. Many cultures kept higher standards of cleanliness than what we are familiar with in Western societies. Sometimes we are quick to label black cultural practices as pathologies that we need to break away from when that isn’t necessary.
@@pisceanbeauty2503 This is true for some. But I still think it’s something worth truly considering because it can be a mental hassle for many. Then it’s your decision to go on the same or change things.
Probs also tied to racism and risks of having social workers sent to Black families when the kid is seen as being gross. Personally, I would find washing a child only once a week too little as well. Babies cannot clean themselves and do not stay clean as long as adults do. They can be messy eaters and obviously..diapers, lol.
White people be gross sometimes wth
The idea of cleanliness reminds me of how body hair is viewed on women. My mom always told me we had hair on lady parts for a reason. When the girls in my high school locker room were discussing having to remove hair down there, I was confused. Body hair was seen as gross to them. I grew up seeing it as something natural and part of my body. Being clean, like removing body hair, has been pushed on us by consumerism and society. It’s insane to think back in the youth of my parents, body hair was not seen as gross by men. Same with being clean. I always enjoy how much research you do for all your videos ❤️😎 Thank you.
I agree. Shaving is percved as hygenic bc of society when in reality is actually less hygenic than not shaving. Since we cant see bacteria, virus etc I think a lot of the idea of what is hygenic has a lot of to with societal belives
@@amandak.4246 we dont ”need” hair, however shaving cause micro tears in the skin which can cause infection or ober growth of fungi. So it’s not really a fallacy that hair is more hygenic than shaving
@@user-xm1od9nb1m We need hair as it protects the skin of our pubes which is comparatively much more delicate than the skin of other body parts. The hair, you don't have to be a bushman, but even trimmed pubes prevent chafing and burns during periods, and given that sanitary pads have chemicals that have petroleum by products, the hair is like a barrier between the pad and the skin. So as long as you keep your pubes and folds clean with soap and warm water, pubic hair is actually good for you.
@@Cosmic_Solace you’re preaching for the wrong person m8
I started shaving my pubic hair before I even though if shaving my legs bc U hated how it felt and having very heavy periods as a kid and not being allowed tampons it got messy pretty quickly. I never felt gross for having leg hair or arm hair but it gives me sensory issues like I can feel too much, when I shave my legs feel numb 😂
The idea that “Modernity is odorless” is baffling to me. I live in America and the difference between the rural and urban areas is kind of overwhelming. The natural world smells deep and warm, with the wind gently pushing new scents to you. The city smells like vague garbage, cigarettes, and old piss, and then occasionally you get slapped with something entirely else and often worse.
I don’t understand why people would think the natural world stinks. How can you live in a city with THAT MANY bad smells and not just lose the sense all together?
I mean it really depends on on where you live. Urban areas on the water like Boston and Seattle smell very different than land locked cities. And NYC is its own piss soaked beast. But there are plenty of rural areas that aren’t sweet wildflowers and grassy meadows. Ever lived in a town near an abattoir? Smells like shit for miles.
@@danirodriguez3682I grew up in a mill town in New England. It smelled like boiled cabbage every day, and on rainy days, I could smell it from my home two miles away. My dad worked there and called it the smell of money. Now the mill is gone, and I swear I can smell it on a calm day.
Because it smells bad. Especiallly cutting grass
@@jessicamoore8903 that’s really interesting! I wouldn’t have expected cabbage smell from that
This Christmas I received a rosewater hand soap and lotion set from my uncle’s family. I put it in the downstairs bathroom without telling anyone. When my dad washed his hands, he was instantly reminded of his grandmother. He hadn’t smelled that specific scent in many years. It’s endearing to know he can remember his grandmother just by the similar scent of perfume she would always wear. I, too, am reminded of my own grandmother when I smell either Gardenia or Jasmine flowers. Smell is a powerful sense.
This is so true. My Nan always used honey and milk soap and I still think of her whenever I use it!
Ponds soap reminds me of my grandmother
My grandma often smells like may-lily because it's her favourite flower and one of her favourite perfumes is Diorissimo by Dior
My Oma used to used a specific Dutch cream on her hands and the smell of it, while not strong, is distinct and it instantly reminds me of her. :)
My grandmother would always wear the perfume White Shoulders by Evyan. She's been gone for almost 20 years but I still keep a bottle for the days I'm missing her. The connection between scent and memory is an incredible thing.
I’m Mexican, so cleanliness and smelling good has always been a part of our culture, even during pre Hispanic times, it is said that the mexicas would bathe a total of three times a day because smelling bad was considered an offense to the people around you, because of this they had bath houses called “temazcales” that were filled with warm water and scented herbs that where used mainly by the elite, but the common people had their own steam rooms at their homes allowing them to keep clean on a daily basis, this stayed through the years becoming very important for us till this day to smell good, but the access the internet allows us to have to see the way other cultures live made me realize how consumerist cleanliness culture is, especially in the US, every now and then I see tiktoks of people who have collections of 20 different body scrubs and body washes, or those videos of people refilling their bathroom cabinets with all types of dental floss and deodorants, no one needs that many things for showering or self grooming, and that culture has started to spread to some parts of my country (mainly the north) because of our proximity to the US and how influential it is on us, don’t get me wrong, I love a good shampoo and smelling good is always top of my list, and I see nothing wrong with liking that, but there comes a point where it becomes too much
I used to live in Sinaloa and on a typical summer day I would shower 3 times: as soon as I woke up, after school/before work, after work/before bed. The climate is so hot and humid, I couldn't stand not to. This was my practice, not everyone in my household or community did this, but I know a lot of people who did share this practice with me. I, like Mina, find water calming, cleansing and meditative so that could have something to do with it too.
Countries outside us/Europe have a completely different culture and need for hygiene, specially cause it's often warmer and humid and we can't really compare. In Brazil for example, it's so hot in summer you often need to shower twice daily, even our babies needs more baths than american children. And we also got this culture from natives
@@Marinlss it depends on where you live in the U.S. Southeast Texas (where I live) is hot and very humid in the summer. Summers in this region are BRUTAL. it's so hot and sticky. Even sitting outside relaxing in the summer, you sweat. So, skipping a bath or shower in the summer time if you're outside for any length of time is NOT an option.
You still had the need to make it very clear that you don’t smell bad
As an Indian, I felt this.We have to shower two times a day during summers because it's so bloody hot and humid. And when people from outside come here they start to sweat and smell, so they have the stereotype of being smelly. When I learnt that it is actually the other way around and Indians have the stereotype of being smelly I was genuinely suprised, because everyone is obsessed with taking a good bath here. Later I learnt that it was the smell of spices and incense and everyone else really like using really strong deodarants and not the mild ones.
In one of my high school classes, a guy " malik" spontaneously loudly howled at a girl by telling her how she smelled horrible all the time, the whole class went completely silent, and the girl curled up in a ball under a plastic chair, the teacher came to bring her out of the class, she never came back to school. The teachers told us they were actually already « in the process of conversating to find a way of improving her smell situation », and that "malik" ruined everything. My friends and I were devasted by this situation, it felt horrible to see a kind classmate get shamed in this way for her odour, to the point where she no longer felt welcomed at school.
A long time ago I worked in a call center, and there was a guy who was.... very ripe. I don't think he had a sense of smell, and he was unaware just how bad his funk was. It was clear based on how greasy his hair was that he wasn't showering on a regular basis, and he didn't seem to be washing his clothes either. It went beyond the normal musky scent of a person who doesn't use deodorant, and smelled more like fresh dog poop. It was BAD.
We had to have a manager pull him aside and have a very uncomfortable conversation with him. That even if he could not tell how bad he smelled, he was making it impossible for everyone around him to concentrate on their work. He showed up a little bit cleaner the next day, thankfully.
In hindsight, I'm grateful that no one embarrassed him in public!
When I was in middle school there was a pair of sisters who were bullied by many people for being “weird”, wearing clothes and eyeglasses that looked 20 years out of date, and having greasy hair/body odor. Our PE teacher looked into their situation and found out that their parents were very poor & lived in very bad circumstances just a step above homelessness (and, I might add, was attempting to get them help/aid) and came back to the school and absolutely shamed the living crap out of all the girls who’d been shitty to them (by giving a scathing lecture to each period’s PE class without singling anyone out by name, but believe me, we ALL knew who was guilty, including the guilty people…some of whom had bullied *me* for *years* in grade school for being “weird” so I sure AF didn’t feel sorry for them.)
It actually worked. You could feel the atmosphere in the room change, see the chagrin on their faces. It wasn’t like a movie where suddenly they were popular or got a makeover or something, but they overwhelmingly weren’t made fun of anymore, and some of the previous bullies did apologize and/or go out of their way to treat them more kindly.
i’m very sensitive to embarrassment and rejection, i think i would’ve left the school too if that happened to me. i hope she’s doing ok now 😕
@@jankk that pe teacher is a chad
@@jankk More teachers need to have the backbone to do this. I don't know why but it's extremely common for teachers to not do _anything_ to help bullied kids. Truly a chad teacher like the other commenter said
When I lived in Benin, people would shower 3-4 times a day but wear the same outfit for two days in a row, and I was always asked why I changed my outfit every day but only showered once. The perception of cleanliness varies so much culture to culture.
Well, as a Brazilian (we like to be clean here), I'll tell you my personal experience. Showering everyday and sometime more the once is more normal then changing clothes, especially when you don't have a lot of clothes. I usually use the same clothes for 2 or 3 days, because I only have so much and washing them every day takes to much Time and water. But the norm doesn't apply for underwear, those we change every time. Also need to notice the amount of phisical work and sweat of someone. If my shirt is too sweaty I'll change it, even if new. Some people have "work clothes" clothes that you put on during the day for working (for phisical labor) and then they take a shower at the end of the day and put clean clothes.
@@gisela_oliveira also, if you take more than one shower a day you’re always clean, so it doesn’t pass dirt or sweat to the clothes. So the clothes are clean. Cleaning clothes a lot ages them faster and is a tremendous water waste, especially if you use a laundry machine.
@@GH-fb9dh you are corect; is better to keep your body clean and preserve your clothes then to wash them all the time
I clean my clothes more than I wish I had to. The shirt will be clean, but I sweat a lot even without doing anything, so the pits get Stinky :( it's a sad life for my clothes.
@@sydnerxx that's what deodorant is for.
as a brazilian, from our tropical climate and indigenous heritage we have a VERY strong cleanliness culture, it's very common to take one too many showers a day with perfumed soaps, using scented moisturizers... it is also very common for us to give special soaps as a gift on birthdays, christmas, etc hahaha
Quando ela disse orgulhosamente que toma banho todo dia eu fiquei em choque, aqui tomamos banho até pra ir pra academia kkkkkk
A Brazilian friend gave me a soap and scented oil for my new apartment, very nice brand and beautiful box.
Então eu fiquei um pouco em choque com os comentários achando que um banho por dia era limpeza até demais, mas enfim né, talvez eu n deva palpitar por conta dos climas diferentes kkkkjkkkkk
Aliás, eu agradeço todos os dias aos indígenas por ter isso como parte da cultura deles e ter permanecido com a gente, adoro um banhozinho frio
@@abacateroxo6054 sim gente um banhozinho é tudo tá maluco!!!!111
I was raised by a homeless mother, we slept in a bed sit due to my father being in rehab. I remember as a tween I became obsessed with smelling nice using cheap perfume and using olive oil on my ends. I associated human smells with poverty and I was obsessed to get out of it.
I have an anecdote of the harms that our modern cleanliness obsession can do:
I remember, when my sister and I were very little, there was this one time where she adamantly refused to take a shower because at school the mother of another child had said to her son something along the lines of 'You need to wash your hands so you don't look like them. They bath less often than us and that's why their skin is darker, they lack cleanliness' while pointing at a black child.
I don't remember the exact words, but I remember that my sister, maybe 3 or 4 years old, believed her, and she didn't want to bath because the lady had made her believe that if she did the color of her skin (which she liked as it was) would wash off. She told mom 'No me quiero desmorenizar' which would translate to 'I don't want to loose my morena-ness' (In my nation we call a person of a brown skin tone moreno or morena).
And you know, now we laugh about how that's not possible and how funny the word she used to express her fear sounded, but I still feel kinda sad it had to happen in the first place.
Edit to correct misspellings.
WTF, it's so wild. It's so stupidly racist I can't wrap my head around it.
As wildly racist as it is, I appreciate your sister’s interpretation.
We should do the reverse and tell our kids we need to educate them so they aren't as stupid as that lady, pointing her out as a prime example.
As stupidly racist as that woman was, I'm delighted that your sister's take away from it was that she didn't want to lighten her beautiful skin
@@royalscholar7504 exactly what I was coming here to say! what a good kid
Omg this reminds me of the feminine ‘hygiene’ industry and how they claim women’s natural bits are unclean (hence you need to buy this feminine wash). But the 🐱 is self-cleaning and using feminine wash can mess up your ph.
I remembered the early Lysol campaign where they were telling women to use it directly on themselves for that reason 😭😭
You mean they said it gets dirty, not that it’s inherently unclean. And yeah that was a whole scam
Yes, totally! This whole industry gets money off people's insecurities :( it's sad. But it is always important to teach people that the inside is self cleaning while the vulva needs to be cleaned!
@@KZesty that sounds painful 😖
Literally this. It self cleans, you just need body wash pretty much. A lot of “feminine hygiene products” are just masking natural smells that honestly the world should just put up with lol
Growing up, I was told, "Don't smell good, don't smell bad, just don't smell." Meaning keep to basic hygiene and stay away from overly fragrant products. So a lot of the cleaning products I put on myself and use at home are natural and have little to no fragrance. I just don't really enjoy strong smells indoors unless it's from incense or a candle.
Me and my dad both start coughing and choking when somene sparys on deoderant while we are in the room. (Even if that person is us)
My least favorite smell memory is a prior roommate that would come back to the dorm very sweaty and instead of using a washcloth to clean her pits or even spraying deadoeant she would spary on this really sweet strawberry full body perfume. The smell of the sweat mixed with the sickly sweet smell was horrendous!
I wouldnt even mind the sweat that much but that body spray was nauseating
I don’t think ‘just don’t smell’ is any better? Humans are literally always going to smell somewhat, and being clean does NOT guarantee a less noticeable smell
@@gaphic обязательно надо было вставить свои 5 копеек
gaphic if you shower daily, use castile soap, brush your teeth twice a day and floss, wash your hair, wash your clothes every time you wear them, keep your body hair under control, don't smoke or eat pungent foods, and avoid alcohol then your body will have very little smell and your sweat will just be like mild BO and not rank or offensive.
@@KFrost-fx7dtand don’t have anxiety, certain medical conditions that increase or change sweat production, not be on medications that make BO more noticeable, and be able to afford natural textile clothing that wicks sweat way and prevents bacteria on the skin from creating smells. I’m sure I’m missing a lot of things that can contribute to BO. So that makes being unscented as a pretty unreachable goal for a lot of people. Being clean and healthy is enough.
i was taught to shower and wash my hair everyday by my mom, who has no idea how to deal with my hair texture and dryness. it wasn’t until 2021 that i realized that i didn’t have to wash everyday in order to make my hair look nice and it’s been life changing. my hair looks so much healthier and my skin isn’t cracking from dryness. it makes me wish there were more conversations given to kids to explain the wide range of taking care of oneself, i might’ve actually enjoyed my hair routine growing up
I would wash my curly hair every other day and it was breaking off whenever I touched it. I only do it once a week now and it's amazing the difference it's made in my hair health.
I've recently started washing my hair every other night after spending a lifetime with the idea of daily washing. But daily washing dries out anyone's hair so I'm trying to take better care of my hair by only washing it every other day. Learning to take better care of stuff like your hair and skin is a complicated process
Tell me about it. I used to wash my face twice a day, and my skin was always dry and peeling. Now I wash my face once a day in the evening, and my skin is much healthier. I also used to wash my hair (also dry) every other day, but now I wash it once a month! Your scalp adjusts and it's fine! It has been such a time saver.
@@stefanienorthover2317 I like to splash water on my face when I wake up because it cleans the sleep out of your eyes but I only wash it at night
i love being a traitor to the ideal of femininity and an object of disgust 💁♀
Talking about having a period makes one remember femininity is gross and painful too!
Lol
Same ❤️❤️ love not shaving and having imperfect skin and rougher nails etc.
I love being and looking human
I farted while I read your comment. Just let it rip, since I am alone in bed.
My family: If you're not going to shave, at least put on a shirt with sleeves.
Me: LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!
Since Mina reads comments, I wanted to share my pov. I am from Azerbaijan and many people wash their hair 1-2 times a week. And many people would consider this gross. However, when we do take a shower, it usually lasts about an hour or two and includes washing our hair 3 times (on average, some people do 2 or 5 even), body exfoliating with "kese" and "urusum", rubbing your feet with special type of stone (to exfoliate, called "dabankes") and body wash twice. This extensive routine is the norm and is done once or twice a week.
I'm from the US and basically do this. I'm disabled and showering is especially difficult so I do so about once a week, twice if it's a rare good week. However, since it's been awhile, I make sure I clean really well. I also go over my hair multiple times, most of the body can be cleaned outside of the shower easily except for hair... so I wash my hair multiple times to be sure I didn't miss any spots.
Honestly I am always confused by people thinking that when you take a shower, you HAVE to wash your hair (and its variation, when you say you don't take bath, you get weird looks because it's taken as "I don't wash myself" when duh, showers and cleaning at the sink with a washcloth are also valid options). Tbh I'm from France but once a week I also have a routine of exfoliating and all, and it's very pleasant. I like doing it on Sunday to ready myself for the next week by being fully groomed and neat. However I have curly hair and wash it with the classic shampoo/conditioner/hair oil once a month to preserve it from becoming dry and brittle - I do a weekly dry shampoo and daily combing/brushing however so my hair remains neat (and easier to handle to make my 1900s hairstyles since it's not wispy and limp and slippery).
And not to mention, we wash our privates every day, as well as our bums when using the bathroom. I never hear foreigners talk about doing this, it's the dirtiest area, so if you clean that you'll be a lot cleaner in general.
@@mahi1066 yes! Not using water on ur bum is side eye for me
@JulieDeuxFois what does that have to do with anything? The average Azeri isn't religious nor prays five times a day, OP was talking about showering. The required cleanliness in Islam just became part of culture to us and a random person off the street might not even know what "ghusl" means.
You somehow make me care about topics I’ve never considered in depth before
omg my thoughts exactly
As a massage therapist in the US I can always tell when someone has just showered and scrubbed their bodies before a massage, and not in a positive way. They have stripped away any natural oils and I have to sooo much more lotion because their skin just sucks it up. When I get to know a client I tell them to not stress about it but if they really want to take a shower before hand to only use soap on “hot spots” - pits, privates, under breasts, and feet. For the most part your back and arms are not going to smell
Yeah ! There is a difference between being hygienic and being …way over the top clean…tell someone u skipped the shower one day and all the sudden your a gross goblin spreading disease. Only wash you hair 2x a week? “Disgusting horrid grossssss” It’s gone to far .
I always shower before swing a doctor or anyone who will be close in my personal body space but if I’m just going to Walmart then back home ..a showe isn’t necessary unless I’m actually stinking or something .
My college had a dorm where a Chinese professor lived and students living there had to speak Chinese as part of immersive language learning
For me, living away from home, whenever I visited that dorm and was hit with the smells of sesame oil, garlic, chili, etc. it soothed me in a way I can't even really explain
Especially when it was the same sort of smells that my non-Asian peers would complain about or make fun of me for
I feel this- in elementary school, one of the only girls who was good to me was Indian, and so now when I smell Indian food or just Indian people I tear up a little bit, I miss her so much.
I do shower very often, but it’s so interesting whenever people get suprised that I wash my hair once a week (maybe a week and a half) and assume I’m dirty for it. I have 4c hair and over washing damages my hair but so many non black people can’t believe it’s clean or natural. My hair needs oils and over washing strips it.
I knew a guy who had to wash his hair twice a day cause it would drop with grease. My hair only get a greasy when I smother it in stuff because it is so dry otherwize
My scalp n hair are dry we obviously have not the same hair type but it makes perfect sense that u don't need to wash your hair everyday n it could even duck it up! I'd take my non greasy dry hair scalp over having to wash more than once a day cause greasy hair
I have curly hair and people are also horrified when they hear I wash it once a week. I shower the rest every day, but my hair would be so nasty and dry and full of breakage if I washed it every day
Here where I live we all wash out hairs only once or twice a week, usually on Sundays. Because washing them more will cause more damage than good. People need to understand that everybody has a different hair type
people in general are way too uptight about hair washing?? i have wavy hair and i wash it once a week with no problem.
I am also a fan of Zoologist perfumes! What I love about Tyrannosaurus Rex is how it starts out so metallic and medicinal and smoky but, over the course of the hours it sits on your skin, it becomes really green and lush and floral, transitioning from the lava and tar pits to a prehistoric jungle. It's the closest experience to actual magic that I've had from a purchase and I love it, even if it's something I don't wear out of the house.
I think I need to give T-Rex another wearing. Ironically I'm not the biggest fan because to me it smells strongly of soap, specifically old fashioned coal tar soap.
I'm italian, here if you said that you wash every day (including shampooing hair) you'd be met with stunned faces. It Is a common belief that water and heat damage hair a lot. I'd say the average person uses shampoo twice a week. Also we don't necessarily shower every single day but we do wash body parts that tend to smell more such as feet, armpits and 'down there'. Having a bidet helps a lot
that’s actually exactly how dermatologists recommend approaching hygiene. unless you’re sweating profusely or getting super dirty, it’s only necessary to wash your pits, feet and bits with soap daily
German here and same! We have a word for this quick wash (ofc there's a German word for that lol) and it's similar in English: "Katzenwäsche" or "cat's lick". I have neurodermitis and in general just dry skin all year round and my dermatologist also told me that showering every day is the worst thing you can do to your skin
@@clarimm6675 sjdksk you people have words for everything, that's so cool!!
i do think your water is part of that, i'm from Brazil and it's a common complaint for women that move from here to Europe that they have to wash their hairs with mineral water as the water from the shower has a certain mineral in it that makes their hair (that is used to "pure" water) calcified and ugly. since our water doesn't have it, it does not harm us the same way and no one has shower-related conditions even though a lot of people even shower 3 times a day. same thing with the heat doing damage to the hair, hair salons are VERY common here so don't get me wrong, but we also have a culture of just letting our hair dry naturally, so that reduces damage significantly.
@@cunextthursday I didn't think about water but It absolutely makes a lot of sense. Also hair drying is definetely better and I wish I could do It all year long but it's too cold for me in the winter and i get a cold or even headache :(
It's a very brief moment, but when Mina says she showers more in the winter, when she's SAD, I felt that. Showering feels like a big *effort* some days and when you don't have the mental energy to look after yourself, it's harder to make that effort. Or conversely, sometimes showering can be a form of self-care and make you feel better.
Yeah I’m my family depression showers are a thing where if any of us take two or three showers a day it’s a sign of us being depressed lol
I have sad showers in the morning and depression clean my room at night so I can avoid sleeping.
I have reynaud's so my circulation gets messed up in the cold and I shower more in the winter just to feel my hands and feet again after getting too frozen lol
@@emericcson123 i cant shower in the morning because of my raynauds (and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) because while it does raise my temperature (i have no body heat lol) all my blood pools
As someone with low energy and has taken microbiology and basic medical classes, sometimes the best way to deal with the knowledge that everything around us is gross is just a good old fashioned don't think about it, it will stress you out and you will mostly not be able to do anything about it. I literally last week learned concerning things about peanut butter and made the conscious choice of "I will be ignoring that fact"
I need to know the pb stuff now 😭
what concerning things???
i’ve developed ocd from learning certain things abt microbiology and it’s so so damaging. not thinking abt it is literally how i keep it together lol
Great video! I'd love to also hear you talk about how this 'cleanliness cult' also pertains to acne. Because a lot of the narrative around acne has been, bad skin = bad hygiene.
You're right. I've seen so many people online shaming people who have acne by telling them that they need to wash their faces as if they don't already. They treat acne like it's this dirty thing. It really sucks especially since acne can be caused by a whole lot of other things like hormones, stress, diet and health issues.
@@chaoticsiv4167 yep, exactly! i’ve had acne for most of my teenage years & it felt so gross. even though i had a rigorous skin care routine, had a healthy lifestyle (ate well, drank vitamins, worked out regularly). It was probably stress induced, but the stigma around it made me feel so dirty
yes!!! i had a friend with baaad case of acne in high school, and i remember my classmates saying "does she even know how to wash her face?" behind her back. i was so mad!! IT'S NOT HOW THAT WORKSSSSSS
@H M like healthy & balanced food. my whole family is doctors so had a nutritionist & drank supplements & didn’t have sugar in the house lol
diet can definitely have a huge impact, but I don’t think it’s a one-size-fits-all. my acne simply went away when i stopped being stressed, even though my habits stayed the same
Diet is generally not the cause behind bad acne either.
I think the “cleanliness culture” is also being partially fueled by the hygiene side of tiktok where girls show off how many bath and body works sprays they have, how many method body washes they have and how many tree hut scrubs they have. They send a message that hair care and body care should each be a 15 step processes. I’m a big fan of the phrase, “less is more”. But to each his own.
Literally agree 100%!! Less IS more!!!
I have ONE cleanser and moisturizer/body lotion that I've been using for years. I always get complimented on my skin, how it's so soft, poreless, radiant, clean, etc.. People have asked me what foundation I use, or what products in my routine and are always shocked to find that I don't wear makeup, and I only use one wash and lotion.
They consider me "lucky" at times for "only having to use so few things," but no. It's all about hydration, nutrition, excercise, and Honestly keeping it simple! I realized when I was young the more products I used the harsher my skin reacted, and that the less perfumes/additives/etc the absoLUTE better literally anything is for you.
I honestly also only wash my hair once a week, sometimes twice in the same week. I've been living that way for years, and for my hair type I've found it's actually the healthiest thing for me. I do clean my private bits more often, though. But I absolutely do not shower-clean my everyday bc its too harmful
Them labeling it as hygiene kinda throws me off. Hygiene being defined as “n.
conditions or practices conducive to maintaining health and preventing disease, especially through cleanliness”. (Greek origin & the Greek goddess of health named Hygiea) Some of that stuff achieves the cleanliness part, but is conducive to wrecked skin barriers, non-health, illnesses in ways we might not understand yet re: Johnson & Johnson promoting the use of their powders in underwear for decades before we found out the ovarian/uterine cancer risk
Oh god yes there's this one girl who has shower walls COVERED in shelves for bodz washes, soaps, shampoos and scrubs. People just go on and on asking her what is product X, Y or Z. To me, she just looks like a hoarder and someone with a serious cleanliness OCD. But others even comment they want the same setup for their showers. People really really really believe that the more products, the better for your body... It's so weird. I wish more people would pay attention in school
@@phoebeel Oh I think I’ve seen that girl but the girl I saw had even more products behind those walls! I think it’s becoming a wealth flex. Skin care can be inexpensive but look at all the pretty bottles and pretty colours and wow, I know that cream costs $1000 and that ones $750 but they’re also made for sun damaged or older skin and it’s not going to do a thing for her except maybe plug her pores.
I find when I look at reviews for skin cream it’s really important to put in your age because the number of teenagers complaining a cream made for more mature skin didn’t get rid of a teeny crease in her forehead in the one week they tried it and gave up. Young girls really need education about the dangers of too many products, how long to give a product to see if it works, you don’t need the full line of products for it to work, and when you find something that works just keep using it and eventually you’ll have a group of products that make you feel and look your best. It’s hard but try to stop reading some beauty mags etc because some stories exist only to advertise products and use tactics like they’re doing an investigation or education on acne but it tells very little and the product names and prices are just throwing some things in and it looks natural but it’s the same as a picture ad which usually is on the next page nonchalantly. It gives fomo when you look great now and could save the money. Just one must 365 days a year is sunscreen. That’s from me! I’m 52 so for years just oil is what we had. I was in high school when SPF came around and was in moisturizer, my friends and I always used it and it’s actually sad when you run into the sun lovers in high school. Wow, I wrote a super long comment! Sorry for that!
You literally saw
I have a really hard time maintaining societal hygiene standards with regular showers because ADHD and depression, so this video helps me feel a little less gross about it. I still want to bathe regularly and get my mental health on track, but it helps lessen the pressure on me a little bit to know that showering every other day isn’t actually the worst thing in the world for me. Thank you for this!
yeah even if I enjoy showering alot of the time I just can't be bothered or it escapes me.
put your energy into doing things that feed your body and soul. so many people shower and clean their home perfectly everyday but probably forget to go outside, eat, see the sun, move their body, talk to anyone, take a moment of stillness. I say this as someone with chronic fatigue syndrone. showering is about 10th on my list of priorities.
@@shaunnarochelle yeah for real, plus shampooing all the time makes your hair insanely dry
i and many people who are close to me don't shower more than 2-3 times a week during colder months. Nobody ever seems to mind and i still consider myself clean most of the time. i believe this is relatively normal where i live. my hair usually doesn't need to be washed more than every 4 days.
Fatphobia has affected my relationship w smell a lot. Being overly-cleanly to try to fight off untrue stereotypes about fat people being slobbish and smelly.
This rings true to me as well, especially when it comes to smelling like food or grease.
Same, I shower twice a day bc of it
Same!! I put so much effort into how I present myself (being a size 2x and 5'7) because of the "slob" and "lazy" stereotypes. Curled hair, good smells, prepared outfits, full face of makeup, heels, etc. Of course, I enjoy doing it too, but I find myself scared to go out without all that because of public perception.
Same omg!!
me too…
Thank god my mom raised me to be clean but not overly clean to the point of obsession. To me it's very normal to only shower every other day and only wash my hair twice a week. Despite not being big on perfume or other heavily scented products multiple intimate partners have told me I smell very good and I myself don't feel dirty or smelly at all. It was only until I started seeing a lot of tiktok discourse about showering habits that basically said that if you don't shower and thoroughly scrub every inch or your body with soap every day you are disgusting that I started doubting my own hygiene and feeling ashamed of myself for not showering every single day. I realise now that this is a very american attitude and being from europe and a relatively cold climate there really is no need to take on those habits that people preach about. Don't let people shame you into unnecessary habits that often do more harm than good and trust your own judgment.
Me too, especially being someone with skin problems and curly hair, which cannot be washed every day. No one except internet strangers who have never met me has ever said I smell bad. I think I'd rather believe the people who have actually smelled me.
Totally agree. I live in a cold climate and usually only shower every other day and wash my hair 2-3x/week. If it gets humid in the summer I’m more accustomed to just washing my body with a facecloth. My family was very frugal and, growing up, if I mentioned I wanted to shower when I showered the day before, I got a lecture on how much hot showers affect the power bill 😕
Same here re: the tiktok community. It's a v privileged and self obsessed view
@@Skippy196 yup, don't shower daily, do sink washes and brush teeth daily and no one has ever called me dirty irl
👏🙌🏻 thank you. I’m the same way.
This video was incredibly interesting. As a POC growing up in a predominantly white area (there were less than 100 students of color at my hs with a student body of about 1000, and most POC students lived in the nearest city and where bussed to and from the school district every day) I was super concerned about my smell as it was brought up by my peers. I don’t think it’s uncommon POC experience to be told that you/your home/your food smells weird. I was always scared I smelled terrible and as a result would try to cover up with an array of Victoria’s Secret body spray as often as I could. I would dread gym class and the thought of sweating and tried to avoid sweating as much as possible. There was also a trend in my school where girls would carry body mists with them to every class and scented lotion and would use this multiple times a day. As an adult I’ve had to do a lot of inner work to get over my paranoia of smell and cleanliness, so thank you Mina for this eye opening history!
i got comments like that too but my mom was hella clean (latina) and i just didn’t care/forgot about what they said lol
At boot camp, there were girls who really didn’t like me so they told people I didn’t bathe and would throw soap at me. I was ostracized by the girls bc of this rumor that I was dirty. The American obsession with cleanliness sucks when you’re a working woman who sweats.
I’m glad the guys didn’t care.
This girl on my bootcamp (Canada) doesn’t shower the entire weekend and I swear, she never smelled. We don’t know how she does it, but we love her to death. Ngl, use Canadians are more… open-minded and accepting.
I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Boot camp means army right? Aren't soldiers supposed to be sweaty and dirty from idk excercise or being under the sun? If I ever saw a neat and clean soldier, I'd assume them to be a Nazi.
That's just nasty, such petty high school behavior. Hopefully the other parts of your experience were better
Would've gotten them dirty and muddy every chance I got and throw that soap back full force
@@sarahwatts7152 Hell yes!!! I am and will always be stinkier than my husband because I work harder and I’m proud! He gets to deal with eczema more because he has more B.O. and I’m over here only itchy when I’ve been skiing for the week in dry weather.
In Brazil it's actually taught to you as a child that you should shower 3 times a day and most of us continue that thinking to adulthood. That teaching came from indigenous people so i'd assume my country can be even more obsessed with cleanliness than America sometimes, with people straight up bullying you if you dont smell like you just showered.
q brasil é esse
acho q moro em um brasil diferente
I mean, we also have daily temperatures of 30C or higher so...
@@user-zy3cp7ou3k talvez na sua região seja diferente mas na minha todo mundo tem esse costume de tomar muitos banhos por dia e inclusive era ensinado que o ideia seria 3 banhos por dia e lavar o cabelo dia sim e dia não 🤷♀️
sim, eu até fiquei surpreso com o vídeo, pq eu sempre tive essa ideia de que os americanos não davam tanta importância pra higiene e muitos brasileiros pensam assim tmb. mas aparentemente eles são obcecados com isso. imagina se conhecessem os brasileiros kkk
I'm from Uruguay, and here that would be seen as weird (unless it's summer when we all wish to be under water all day). People usually shower once a day at most.
One time I was telling my sister that I wish shaving wasn't introduced because it is so unnecessary but it feels essential considering the society that we grew up in and she was like "yeah but I feel like I'm not clean if I don't shave" and I was like yeah! That's the thing...its not a matter of cleanliness because it's part of you and you don't need to shave your head every other week to be considered clean but we have to in many western areas or we'll be seen as unclean and unkempt
i feel unclean if i don't shave too :/ which sucks because i realise that's really not true and i don't want to shave!! i hope my mind will be free from these standards and myths some day
@@duck586 That's not natural tho, we feel this bc we were conditioned to do so. You'd be surprised how much of what we perceive as our own feelings or ideas was actually injected on our brains through social pressure.
@duck586 alright calm down, they're just trying to educate u
@@duck586 You know shaving actually increases skin irritation tho? Just sayin
@@duck586yeah i get itchy too and it can actually hurt in jeans cause of the thick fabric rubs against the long hairs and pulls it
i always find it amazing how smells can trigger memories. one whiff of an old deodorant i used to use and suddenly i’m back in 2017. i can feel the rumbling of my old toyota corolla, driving home from work and listening to mac demarco.. weirdly bittersweet
When I was little, the perfume my mom wore was Angel by Thierry Mugler. She wore it for a few years and then switched to other stuff. I came across it after not smelling it for years and years. One whiff and I got a pang in my stomach just like the ones I used to have every morning back then when my mom woke me up for school. I hated waking up that early and I hated school so I was always nervous and unhappy in the morning. Just a whiff and I felt that feeling again.
Also, the way she pronounced "gandh" completely changed it's meaning 😭💀. Btw, her videos are amazing and well researched.
I work in a public library and I literally got trained on how to ask someone to leave if their odor was “offensive” for other patrons :( it’s honestly so sad. I hope I never have to do that….
I never move away from a homeless person on the subway. I figure they get enough unkindness. (I feel you not wanting to hurt someone's feelings)
This is insane because in my country it's illegal to do that, libraries are a public and pubblically founded space, why does someone has less right to it than a smelly person?
@@mxflint1715 I'm Russian and in Russia, it's not accepted in our culture to make someone leave the public space even if they smell really bad it makes everyone cry. Most people who have odor are elderly people, who are limited in movements and cannot do proper hygiene, or homeless people, who don't have a home with bathroom and money for shampoo. Also, public bathhouses are more popular in Russia than in Europe and America.
Don't hope. Refuse to comply with something that actively harasses unhoused populations and causes them further harm.
A charity in my city helps homeless people shower and wash their clothes, so honestly the majority of the homeless people in my city don't smell too bad. A great cause if you ask me
Smell and cleanliness for me can also be strongly connected to ableism sometimes. People are very judgemental about people who smell different or 'bad'. A lot of the time a health condition can have an impact on the way you smell. Maybe you have a hard time washing yourself, maybe you sweat a lot, some people deal with incontinence and there are so many more things that can change the way you smell.
Another thing is autism and sensory issues. Also things like migraines. Both my mom and me avoid strong smells and perfumes. Going on public transport can be a problem when people wear strong perfumes or a lot of aftershave or bodyspray. I get very bad migraines and too many smells and sounds can make me very overwelmed and anxious. There are other conditions where strong odors can be a problem like asthma and COPD. Wearing perfumes is fine but it would be nice if more people were mindful about it. Things like avoiding spraying perfume or deodorant in spaces that are not well ventilated
This
All of this. Besides, some people go with such a heavy hand (as in, apply too much) of perfume that it is nausea inducing
It boggles my mind that people would apply scent in public. Maybe something like a gym but it just seems pretty rude even without taking into consideration people with medical conditions. If my perfume wears off by the end of the day so be it.
I'm late to the party, but I'm wondering if wearing a KN95 mask would help you with this at all? (Not the intense masks with straps that go all the way around your head, just the cone-ish shaped ones with ear loops that conform to your face better than regular surgical masks.)
I use them for dust, pollen, and migraine-triggering smells. Game changer.
I was in the public library the other day and this person smelled so badly of urine and a rotten flesh smell that it was making everyone sick our eyes water. And you're complaining about perfume? If you go in public, take a bath first. Clean every part of your body with soap. Don't go around in a dirty diaper. If you have an infection or something get it taken care of. Shouldn't be walking around smelling like a corpse and ruining everything you touch or sit on!
The library part from the beginning: just a bit of personal experience from a person who has worked in libraries for about 12 years now. The public libraries have had a policy which could be used in that way. Many of our patrons carry with them strong odors, but that alone would not be something that would typically be the reason to ask someone to leave. That was expected. In fact a couple of the locations I worked out we actually had these large air purifiers that help to neutralize the strong smells a bit. In my experience most of the time if an odor was so strong that someone was being requested to leave the premises, it also included evidence that they had urinated or defecated within the clothes that they were currently wearing. You are absolutely right that libraries are very commonly used by individuals who might have barriers to typical Western conventions of hygiene. Libraries and librarians are generally doing their best to serve their communities though. This means that most systems with the resources(aka funding) now also employ social workers. We all had a list of resources and decent relationships with local service providers. For example, we had bus passes that would get you to a location with free showers and a change of clothes. We helped people to fill out their applications for disability, Health Care, housing, work. With the consent of the individuals, Librarians try to connect them to resources that could help them. At the libraries where I worked we had bottles of water in the summer, gloves in the winter, things like flip-flops for people who didn't have shoes. Most of this was bought by us library workers, all while groups are actively trying to diminish public library funding. A rule like that out of context sounds outrageous and it is. But it is an indication of the breakdown of lots of supports for people, not an indicator of the overall services that are being provided within most of your local libraries.
woah you guys are doing god's work with all of these!!! libraries where i'm from don't have anything like that, it's just books and nothing else
Fellow librarian of 9 years here. Came to say this. You got there first. I applaud your information dissemination skills. :) Not all libraries are able to offer the same services, but neither are all libraries having to follow policies like the one mentioned in the video. Like most things in life, it often comes back to money. If you know a library that does this...don't be surprised if the policy was put into place when a city councilmember, a mayor, or a governor with an anti-homeless platform created it and they actually control the funding for the library.
@@victoriaparnell7339 yes! So much controlled by "boards" that typically don't even have a librarian as part of them. I've been in a school library for 3 years now and there's so many similarities in the bureaucracy everywhere. Sadly in all situations you have people who are there because they love their communities and they want to connect them with the information they need and provide safe spaces separate from capitalism and the need to purchase things, but they're systematically being driven out of the profession because of burnout, lack of support, and the lack of awareness for the trauma that we are confronting everyday beside our communities.
I had a cousin who was always getting sick as a kid. His mom, my uncle's wife, was a super clean freak (now she's a "normal" clean freak?). He wasn't allowed to play in the dirt, play in rivers or streams, play in the rain, touch animals. You get it. Anyway, someone told her it was because she didn't allow her son to develop a strong immune system since he wasn't exposed to common germs. My uncle got home and set his kid on the dirt outside. I don't think this single act did anything but he's a much stronger kid now, and I truly believe that her ridiculous approach to cleanliness was the cause of his poor immune system as a baby/toddler.
As someone who's struggled with personal hygenine my whole life since my parents were neglectful it's hurts a lot when I see people demonized for lack of hygenine or different hygenine.
I know it has been quite some time since you commented this, but I want to tell you that many of us struggle with personal hygiene due to neglect or mental health. It is nothing to be ashamed of, and I understand you, because I am struggling with this as well. ❤
i watched a short recently and the girl used a bar soap, body scrub and body wash, and all with exfoliating gloves/an african net sponge, and she also shaved. so in one shower she exfoliated 4 times, and then when she got out of the shower she used like 3 different lotions/body butters. self care is one thing but it was just over consumption and performative hygiene
All the lotion is probably needed because over exfoliating is so drying so she got conned into messing up her skin and is paying to fix what she payed to ruin.
@@silentlyjudgingyou exactly!
we really need to consider culture differences when talking about this subject. as a brazilian, the thought of not showering every day makes my skin crawl, and that's a habit we got from indigenous people, not portuguese invaders. hearing some european people talk about how they shower once or twice a week is shocking, even considering they have actual cold days in winter (and we don't) lmao
As a fellow brazilian, I don’t know what cult of cleanliness she is talking about. Perhaps if she was talking about brazilian or middle eastern culture, then yes, although the warmer climate has a lot to do with this. But there is no such cult in US and even less Europe. I heard using perfume on everyday life was actually uncommon in US until some time ago.
@user-un2yh9sm1r então né? Por aqui estadunidense tem fama de ser nojento, ela falou isso e eu: 🤡 como assim?
Morando nos EUA eu também tenho a impressão de que os standards de higiene aqui são beeem mais desleixados do que no Brasil!
@nana NOSSA SIMMMM enquanto isso brs tomando mais de um banho por dia
Aqui nos EUA as pessoas acham que não tem que tomar banho após ir na piscina porque a água já serve como banho 😨 mesmo em piscina com cloro, que tem criança que pode fazer xixi na água, e a pessoa ainda passa protetor solar etc...e não acha que tem que tomar banho? 🤔
In High School, I would douse myself in vanilla bourbon cologne I got from Bath and Bodyworks, and this was before I knew how to properly apply cologne so I was just spraying myself up and down. One girl in my first period class actually came up to me, sniffed and said “why do you smell like a marshmallow?” It was a pretty funny interaction.
I’m personally of the belief that if you live in a cool climate, don’t work out every day, and wear deodorant, no one will be able to tell if you skip a day or sometimes even two between showers. If I already look + feel clean, and my skin and hair are healthy, washing again would be nothing but a ritual for me, because I have nothing I need to wash off. However, I can definitely say I’ve lied about my showering habits in front of co-workers and managers who are expressing judgement about proper cleanliness rituals. I’ve also had put-together looking people reveal to me in confidence that because they have particularly low body odor, they could go a week or more without showering, and no one would be the wiser - Although at that point, not cleaning might actually start to cause rashes or weigh on your mental health. The truth is, you generally can’t tell if a person keeps “clean” habits or not, and most of the time it really doesn’t make a difference, so long as they wash their hands.
My ex used to go a week between showers and she thought no one could tell. She'd claim she didn't really get much oil or BO. Trust me when I say that she had both and I could very much tell.
@@shadowscribbler6100 Did she live in a dry or humid climite? I live in humid climate (the US South) and obviously have to shower everyday becaue of the sticky humidity, but when I would visit places like Northern Colorado where the air is really cold and dry, my skin would crack and peel and everyday showers made it worse, so I had to go longer in between. My dermatologist said my skin is used to humidity, so that's why the dry and cold weather was a shock to my skin.
So I could see why people that live in cold and dry climates would shower less, unless they naturally have super oily skin due to their hormones. But showering less in a humid climate? Now that's a recipe for disaster.
I went from showering everyday to once every 2 days (unless I did sports or went somewhere extremely grimy) the year I moved from the subtropics to the northern hemisphere
It's also very seasonal. I'm also in the US south and in the summer I will shower daily, but in the winter it goes to every other day - maybe three times a week or so. Usually after a heavy work out. Also in the winter my skin tends to get dryer, so there's a daily slathering on of a good lotion. Since the lotion is scented, it'll maintain that shower fresh smell even on the days I'm not showering.
For most women, I think you're 100% right (ironically... seeing as the social hygiene bar's so much higher for them). I have women friends who shower weekly, wash their hair once a month, and smell fresh as daisies. If I don't shower every morning then I can smell myself going around in a cloud of funk. 😬 Testosterone!
(That being said I think my partner smells fantastic when he hasn't showered. 😂 Maybe pheromones are real, and we're all washing ourselves unsexy.)
honestly as someone with ocd, ritualized cleanliness is more of a self-soothing experience than anything
Same
It’s obviously not the same thing (I’m not trying to compare) but I think to a lot of people clean themselves as rituals more than having an actual need for it. That you ”feel” more clean
Same
Nose blindness is such a thing. I used to volunteer at the stables and barn when I was in vet school, where they had a small herd of goats. Goat smell is INCREDIBLY powerful - if you're not used to it you can smell it downwind from miles away. Hell, when I first started I could smell it on myself even after bathing. But after a few weeks, I physically could not smell it. I think ten later I'm still a bit nose blind to goat smell even though I've only worked there for about a year and a half, and haven't been around goats other than in passing for most of that decade.
Similarly, growing up in a smoker's house and having been a smoker myself in the past, I'm very innured to the smell of tobacco; my girlfriend, who's never smoked and whose parents never did either, has to wash her CLEAN, unworn clothes after she comes to visit me because they smell of smoke to her, even though they were kept upstairs, inside a suitcase, the opposite end of the house from the only room my parents smoke indoors.
So yeah, I can see that's how it worked. Nobody minded armpit smell before deodorants after all, but after it's the norm to NOT smell like that it became incredibly noticeable to everyone when someone does.
I think cultural and geographical differences do play a part here, im from south east asia, it's hot and humid you have to shower twice a day, or once minimum. Obviously not everyone CAN shower everyday, you need access to clean water etc personally I work in healthcare with sick patients, so I have to shower everyday otherwise I don't feel clean.
One thing that pisses me off about people is how much fragrance they douse themselves in. It’s completely inconsiderate, especially when people do it in a public space. There are people (like myself) who are very sensitive / allergic to fragrance. My face starts to turn red, throb, and it BURNS and itches - this can last hours or even days (I have rosacea). My nose is also very sensitive; I get headaches and my nasal passage itself starts to get irritated immediately. It’s just such entitled behaviour! It actually makes me want to cry because it puts my comfort - a great part of my life - into strangers’ hands.
Damn, this sounds rough. Are there any remedies for this, like anti-inflammatory meds or something?
@@peaceflowerstudios6833 You have to treat it forever as there is no cure. There are topical creams / gels and oral antibiotics or other types of medication. A reaction will still occur with these though. The treatments are just used to treat the bumps and residual redness of rosacea and don’t do much in terms of stopping skin being triggered in the first place.
RIP. love me my fragrances
I feel your pain. Most scents and perfumes cause me discomfort, and some cause me to go straight into anaphylactic shock. Sometimes it’s perfumes, sometimes it’s cleaning products.
It’s been over a year since I’ve gone a day without an allergic reaction.
It used to be sparingly, maybe once a year, but after I got Covid now it’s every day.
I
@@missmia196 so does my sis, but I just ask her to spray them in the bathroom that I never use
As someone who is utterly and ridiculously sensitive to smells, I can attest to the fact that EVERYONE has an odor. I can tell when people are sick. I can tell when they eat high protein diets. I can tell when they eat a lot of soy. And that’s not even mentioning people who smoke, which I think is obvious to everyone regardless of what they try to do to cover it up. Perfumes can knock me down. Even when I put deodorant on myself, it takes me time to get over the smell.
Side note about bathing - I do it every day and I wash my hair every day even though I know my skin is super dry and it’s not good for my hair. It makes me feel refreshed. My son doesn’t bathe every day and I expected to point out exactly how stinky he was…but he’s not actually. He smells fine. He smells good. His skin is even drier than mine and his hair is extraordinarily dry and washing too often would not be healthy for him. I used to over wash my face and it exacerbated my acne. When I started using a gentle (and cheap) cleanser and reduced washing, my skin was actually better. So he’s probably on the right track.
Wow, I'm not as sensitive as you (i can't tell what people eat) but I've never heard anyone mention the sickness thing! Especially colds/flu that sort of thing, if I walk into a house where someone is sick like that I can smell it. I can even smell it in my own sinuses if I'm coming down with something and I've been able to head off worse infections that way. I'm just excited to see someone else mention smelling sickness because no one ever talks about it!
Side note, good for you for understanding your kid's needs and not forcing him to do things in a way that wouldn't work for him :] for me, if I were to shower too often it would make me break out and smell and have horribly dry skin because it throws my body out of whack. My skin and hair are so much better now.
In my experience body odor is the same--the more you wash, the faster you stink, but if you get in the habit of going a few days between, your body adjusts and it takes longer to smell bad. Weird how that happens.
@@simbelmyne7767 I’m not the only one! Yay! People think I’m making it up but now I have some validation. There is at least one other person who can smell the difference between a regular illness and an infection. I love internet :)
@@beccangavin woohoo! :D me too, yay validation \o/
i dunno if youve looked into hair oils to replenish your natural oils if you hve to shower every day but if you havent you might want to. you might also try a leave in conditioner. obviously being scent sensitive might hinder your ability to do that but ive found leave in conditioner helps as someone who also has to shower everyday, for sensory reasons.
wow. your sensitivity to smells actually reminds me of service animals who are trained to alert when somebody has a tumor or something. i don’t mean that in a bad way at all, it must be difficult for you to deal with i imagine but that’s legitimately so fascinating and cool
I’m American and I’ve always felt like I wasn’t clean enough because people since my childhood would talk about showering everyday and how it was gross not to and it’s really cool to see someone talk about this in a neutral way
You're teeth are literally supposed to be kinda yellow and not like pearl white. Bleaching the teeth removes protective enamel that you can't get back (yet). As long as you're brushing and keeping that breath smelling nice it ain't no thang
Sounds to me like you are just reasonable. You'd feel perfectly fine in Europe! We don't see the need to douse ourselves in Isoprop anytime we look in a mirror. We wash and brush and care for healthy habits, but respect our bodies as functioning units that can take care of things.
Oh 100% on the teeth whitening, it’s so jarring when someone’s teeth are blindingly white, and you can always tell when someone’s gotten veneers because they look so fake. With braces, at least for me my teeth were so crooked they were stopping other teeth from growing in, so I’m still a braces supporter, but I completely understand the obsession with having straight white teeth
I had the enamel on my teeth destroyed by eating lemon wedges the same way people eat orange wedges, lol. It absolutely sucked and took YEARS to get repaired, because it was considered “cosmetic” and I sure AF didn’t have the $1000s in cash required for bonding, veneers, or whatever the currently popular fad for covering jacked up enamel was. Finally got it fixed when we lucked into an excellent dentist who worked primarily with low income people who gave me simple crowns fully covered by our crummy dental insurance, LOL. (The guy knew how to work magic in a system that was designed to screw poor people out of proper dental care.)
Shout out mina for finding the most interesting somehow relevant topics in my life that I always find myself pondering in the shower
I have a translation of some of the earliest cookbooks coming out of the middle east, and one of the things I found most interesting was that they would temper their pots and pans with aromatic herbs (I forget which - maybe fennel) prior to cooking, because food needed to be cooked in a good-smelling vessel.
omg nice
I once dated a guy who never wore any fragrance but his natural smell was so good to me I couldn't help getting close to him just to sniff him! It was his own scent and I have never met anyone else with this phenomenon. Sadly our relationship ended but I still think about him and that amazing scent. I love showering in super hot water too. I have one signature perfume and only wear it sparingly as not to have it arrive in a room before me.
Supposedly it was his pheromones that smelled good to you. I've read that that could indicate that they have a very different genome or at least immune system from your own and so your offspring would have the combined benefits and be healthier than both of you.
My boyfriend is the same! He’s used cologne on occasion throughout our relationship but for me, I’ve always loved his natural scent the most. I guess it’s a reminder that fundamentally we’re still animals looking for the best pheromones 😂
Yo when a guy smells good on his own, that is primal. That will get under my skin and that’s when I realize I’m super into them. Cool share!
my ex girlfriend was the same!! she just smelled so good all the time, and not with any fragrance, but with her ordinary body scent. idk what kind of wizardry was that lol
I would love to see a follow up video expanding on cleanliness as an alienating and oppressive concept. Like in recent years, medias obsession with “clean girl” aesthetics. I throughly enjoyed this video for history of actual physical cleanliness but now clean is being used as an idea and I’d love to see that explored ❤
I'm terrified of smelling bad because of the stereotype that autistic people always have a nasty odour. I've gotten better recently, but there was a time where I'd have a panic attack the moment I started sweating or even as I was leaving the house, because I was so worried that I'd have that "autistic smell" that I had convinced myself of. Definitely some paranoia going on there. But there's an undeniable link between the idea of cleanliness and ableism. After all, the whole way I came to this conclusion was through watching videos of people making fun of autistic-coded characters for how bad they smell. Great video, this needed addressing.
Bro I've never met an atustic person who smelled bad. Even those who are "severely atustic"
I am atustic myself and I smell fine. I'm you do too
Wait there's a stereotype that we smell bad? BRUH. I'm literally the most princess-y person at my office lmao
Which characters if you remember?:0
People on Tiktok, making videos where they pretend to have conversations with obviously autistic-coded characters. The characters are never named, they were usually just referred to as the "weird kid" or the "sensitive boy", and things like that. I don't have Tiktok now, but idk it made me much more self-conscious :/.
I use to work at a local hardware store in my hometown. There was this one costumer who would occasionally came in and became known as the 'smelly guy' (or something like that) with my managers and coworkers. It really pissed me off, because, yea he smelled musky and it lingered, but he was just an old man who couldn't even walk around very much, didn't talk much but was so sweet and would always smile so nicely to me. And yet I'd have managers and coworkers talking on our walkie talkies saying 'watch out smelly guy is here' or 'get the lysol spray', and even one coworker made jokes (not even really a joke, she seemed quite serious on doing this) about spraying him with lysol. As in spraying him directly. It's just so rude, we don't treat our elders properly in this country, imo, or anyone who differs from the norm. He may have had some disability that prevented him from being able to shower correctly, or something physiologically that caused him to smell and there was nothing to be done about it, but people just notice the smell and make fun of him rather than trying to understand. It's just very rude, and I'm very happy to see this video discussing issues like that.
My grandpa lost his sense of smell before he died. Your coworker might not have been able to smell himself.
morgan t. I watched an episode back in 2020 on Netflix called 100 Humans, and the episode centred all on smells and body scents. It explains how as we age, our bodies become less tolerant to heat as we age. The sweat glands change with age, reducing the body's ability to cool itself effectively. And some fun puns. Which I found very enjoyable and educational! Def recommend the series. If you don't have Netflix, you can look up interesting similar videos here on YT.
I was abused at school from 3rd to 6th grade (very religious teacher and me, aparently a "sinner") and one of the "tools" used to excuse it was that I smelt bad, that I was dirty. I've never had trouble with my hygiene until waaaaaaaaaay later in life, when depression made hard things such as showering or shaving, but even though I knew I was clean and that I cleaned myself I always had trouble with that to the point I started wondering if my nose worked or not. I think the only possitive thing from going through something like that is becoming aware of subjects like these at a young age like, it's truly evil how aparently innocuous things are rooted in discrimination.
I'm still scared to death of smelling "bad" or being "dirty".
so not necessarily a perfume, but my cornplant recently bloomed (didn't know they did that) and the scent it gave off would just fill my house around 5pm (the blooms open in the evening). it was like the plant was saying "thank you for taking care of me :)" because I read it's kinda rare for them to do that indoors (idk if that's true).
I had a time in my life whey I showered daily because I saw it on social media (it was at the beginning of social media) while watching many videos made by American creators. I'm from Europe, where it is not really warm for most of the year. So I went back to showering only every two days and, on the not shower day, giving myself a wash under the arms, my feet and private parts. Nothing more and noone ever complained. My hair is now only washed once a week and not every day, which makes it so much better. And I also grew up in a perfume free household as my mother is highly allergic to it.
This has absolutely been a theme I have been thinking about for the last several years, especially as a disabled and neurospicy person. There is so much ableism tied up in Western (North American in my experience) ideas of cleanliness and so many people don’t seem to realize.
With my memory and attention span being so fractured, my body hurting and being to hard to work with, chronic fatigue, easily bruised or irritated skin, texture issues, a laundry list of allergies and sensitivities to things like fragrances and colorants and other ingredients that are so commonly used in cleaning/hygiene products, etc. taking a shower is an unexpectedly exhausting and time-consuming experience. It has taken me many years and a lot of patience and gentleness with myself to settle into washing habits that work for me, and to be okay with only being able to manage washing myself on a very limited basis or in stages. It does not look the way those around me engage with cleanliness and I’m okay with that now, but I had to fight to get here.
So much of people’s everyday language reminds me of these things, like reliance on deodorants and the pervasive shaming of anyone who doesn’t wear it (never taking any can’t, or won’t/ ethical refusals [marketing, pollution, etc], into consideration), and perfumes for their bodies or homes like febreezes which make me itch or give me respiratory symptoms. I’ve had to sit on public transit for hours with people spraying strong perfumes, coughing and woozy the whole time but unable to take another bus/train, and I was called slurs and given nasty looks when I couldn’t stay upright or tried to ask them to stop.
I would very much appreciate a world in which more people would consider the impacts of their ideas of “cleanliness”, and would hold more space and compassion for themselves and others who don’t/can’t subscribe to the same.
It's so tiring seeing everyone talk about acceptance and open-mindedness when their first reaction to someone not having the same priorities as them is disgust :(
I think one of the most toxic things about “cleanliness culture” is the way we (specifically americans) attach morality to cleanliness. You see this a lot on tiktok where finding out someone has “bad hygiene habits” makes you a bad person. Like you talked about, cleanliness is used to other groups of marginalized people, and framing cleanliness as a moral issue is the easiest way to do that.
And the think about clean homes…it’s like people have forgotten homes are lived in and still a dirty American home is way cleaner then it has ever been in history…. They call you disgusting and gross if you don’t sweep mop and vaccume and dust ect every single day!!!! Like I don’t have 3 hours to deep clean my home everyday !! I don’t have time to move my couch and every item to vaccume under and behind things ect every single day. Idk where people find the time ! But homes are lived in! They are still on earth so yes a bit of dust or dirt will exist within your 4 walls!
Agreed 2 both of the comments here. I always find it really uncomfortable if I'm in someone's home and it's so clean it doesn't feel like someone has been living there
like the phrase “cleanliness is next to godliness”
@@Souls-at-zer0SO MUCH THIS
As someone with chronic migraines, I have an intense relationship with perfume/colognes. I need to take public transport to get anywhere) and when people wear too much it can cause migraines to trigger. I know people with allergies etc can have the same issues. Most people are unaware they are doing this but if it's a friend I can talk to them about the issue, but when its strangers I can't do much. Especially at peak hour, I can't even really move.
ooooh my god, i relate so much!! migraines and headaches mostly make me extremely sensitive to light , but strong scents are awful too 💀
The Care and Keeping of You was essential because it taught me about puberty such as what my anatomy was, what a period is, what training bras are, etc when my family and school would not.
Oh, absolutely! This was the only information I had until I was an adult.
I still have it from my time as a kid in the US!
My parents were great about body topics but it was so nice to have a sort of “guide” aimed at girls my age back then. And the drawings were so sweet. ☺️☺️
“The Care and Keeping of friends” was another very cute one that I cherished.
It’s so nice to realize this is a shared memory. 😊
It’s interesting to see this topic tackled by someone who is pro-scents.
As an American who is both autistic and allergic to most things, I absolutely hate how normalized perfume is. I cannot go into makeup stores, or most clothe stores in malls. I have to ask ahead of time when meeting new people if they wear perfume.
I'm also very sensitive to smells and allergic to most things that make up scents! I absolutely hate how much laundry products smell - enough that you can wash a thrift shop shirt six times before the smell of the fabric softener doesn't make your breath seize. Cleaning products are so scented that if you buy toilet paper from a store that has them in the same aisle as detergents, the toilet paper will stink up your entire bathroom from whatever infused it through the plastic packaging.
I adore some smells (like orange peel oil, rosemary oil, cardamom) that are crisp but not overpowering and don't upset my allergies. But the rest of it? There's *so much* of it, everywhere
Perfume or strong smells in general trigger my migraines. The way people douse themselves in body sprays is truly my nightmare, especially at work when I can't escape the space.
I am an HSP.
Strong smells give me headaches or even nausea.
The products I use mostly have no smell (also due to allergies) or only a very slight fresh smell.
I don't use perfume and only use a little fabric softener when washing. But I love natural greens like grass or lavender. Everything else usually smells too strong for me.
That's also the reason why I'm maybe a bit too obsessed with showering because of body odor...
Sometimes this odor sensitivity can be really exhausting, especially when you're with people or at their house. :/
Glad to finally see a comment from someone who is similar to me w/ sensitivity to many fragrances. I think our society is overly obsessed with adding heavy scents to everything. Like scented trash bags??? I don’t understand how that makes anything more pleasant. I’d rather smell garbage than garbage+fake perfume odor. Ugh.
People who really load up on the perfume, air fresheners, scented lotions, etc. are doing so because they like those smells, but are often really oblivious to how much that can negatively affect sensitive people around them. I’ve gotten countless migraines due to scent triggers, especially very cloying “baked goods” type scents (which smell nothing like the real thing IMO!).
Unlike excess noise, which can be remedied with noise cancelling headphones or earplugs, the overabundance of artificial scents is really impossible to avoid if you can’t physically distance yourself.
Sorry this is a really long comment, I just friggin hate being in sensory hell sometimes, lol.
GODDD SAME we all live in Smell Hell don't we
I see a lot of Brazilians in the comments talking about how everyone in Brazil showers every day multiple times, but I honestly think there is such a significant amount of people that don't but pretend they do. I myself always felt such shame of my body's boddly things, my vaginal discharge, sweating, dandruff, my oily skin...and beeing a neurodivergent person showering feels good but can be so demanding of my executive function sometimes. I don't usually shower multiple times a day and sometimes I do go a day without showering, I do feel kind of ashamed even though I know I don't actually need it, my body odor is not strong and my skin is very sensitive after accutane. I feel like most times if I admit not showering every day this will make be disgusted and think ill of me even though they never have seen me smelly or dirty. This brings up for me such a fear of rejection and humiliation it's actually contradictory because even though I don't follow the social norm here I actually am somewhat clean obsessed and that's frequently pointed out. I imagine that there are other people with similar experiences here.
I saw this comment from another Brazilian talking about how this kind of became a way to reverse card gringos for being dirty and just have something to feel superior about, and I get it I do myself think gringos can be less hygienic, but the moral connotation....uhg it does back fires I think
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Race and geographic locations aside, every good doctor and every specialist in the human skin will tell you that personal hygiene isn't the same for everyone. That is why it is personal. The people that sweat more easily, have more oil prone skin will most likely take more showers. If you have dry, easily more irritated skin, you would probably benefit from not taking many showers. I have heard people say they only shower 4 times a week, so they skip every other day. Do what works best for your body and do not let these weird little hygienic pick me's convince you that YOUR routine for YOUR body isn't hygienic enough. At the end of the day, if you are doing what is best for your body, it is nobody else's business or place to even speak on it. Especially of you are literally following the advice that many doctors have been giving for years now.
A million times YES. As a brazilian living abroad I feel pressured to agree with other brazilians on how disgusting it is that they don’t shower every day here, and that is usually a comment that comes full of arrogance and resentment. I for one prefer to point out how developed countries are only rich because they exploited colonies and “third world” peoples for ages, than feeling superior for showering every day in winter. Which I don’t, it’s freaking -5 degrees. To each their own, of course, it just gets annoying when there is social pressure to brag about how many showers you take.
@@tmeier90 Exactly!!
A little metaphor: right now, there's a trend of using activated charcoal in products. It's a buzzword, cheap and eye-catching. You can get toothpaste with it, teeth whitening strips, pills. And it does "suck out toxins"! However, it does so by indiscriminately soaking up whatever it can get. Your teeth get whiter because it's stripping the enamel off them (VERY BAD), and ingesting it turns any meds you take into expensive candy. That's why they use it for overdoses. Get clean at the harm of vital parts of your body!!
That's a digression (side topic), not a metaphor.
@@tymondabrowski12 oh my god I even put the moral of the story at the end. it's about how the attempts to appear more beautiful can make your health worse. Come on stop trying to be smart
@maliberlin9046 a metaphor is a comparison of one thing to another in a symbolic way, like "She was a dove among crows" metaphors don't have a moral
@@realleon2328 dude. don't ever publish a book.
I shower and bathe more than I should not because I feel dirty but because it’s just soothing for me. When I shower before I go to bed I sleep like a baby.
I am naturally a messy person and I currently have very bad depression, I've had it for a few years now, and it only increased and got worse and I hate it when people outright say how much of a mess and how disgusting my room is. Like, I know that, but I have no motivation to help or clean up and whenever I do clean it up it ends up going back to the way it was before not too long afterwards. I wish people would offer constant help to people who struggle, or just do anything other than say how messy your room is as it only makes it worse. Not better- Sorry for the rant, please continue on your journey in the comments
I am also in the same situation. It's a little bit better now but i still have a long way to go be a normal person clean. It really helps only doing simple cleaning that takes less than 5 minutes. Anything more than 5 min is too much brainpower and i shut down.
And people will just mind their own business but won't mind their words. A lot of people say shit about stuff but doesn't do anything about it. You've got to ask them for help because they won't know if you want or need their help. Again, people don't give a shit.
P.S. I am also ranting, and i do hope we all get better in time.
I have some wicked bad cleaning problems.
Have small goals and finish them. Get that wrapper off the floor. Clear enough space on the table for your cup. Clean to make yourself feel good, not because you have to.
Don't neg yourself into cleaning. That's a great way to guarantee frustration. Clean to have a clean room.
Best of luck. As long as your mess isn't damaging your home or health, what's the problem? Cheers and good luck.
America’s created a strange voyeuristic entertainment around struggling with messiness, to the point that we've had very popular shows such as Hoarders where we can go inside people’s homes to get an inside view of people having a hard time keeping things neat and clean. Messiness is very common in the US (largely because Americans have too much stuff) and it’s interesting how we view the issue and see others who are messy, even to the extreme of being hoarders.
But hoarding is an actual, serious mental illness that is either part of, connected to, or extremely comorbid with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, not just people with messy house because American consumerism/capitalism encourages them to buy more stuff than they need or can reasonably keep organized.
What helped me was:
- have less stuff -> less clothes, less mess (and we dont use a huge part of our wardrobe). You can even sell some.
- if possible, just a cover for your bed -> easier to make it presentable and since the bed is the main feature of a bedroom, a made bed makes the room feel tidier
-have light in your space. Make sure to open the curtains. I always open them as soon as i wake up
-have stuff organized -> this doesn't mean tidy. It just means, everything has a space. Then, when you need to clean, you don't even think of where to put stuff. You just know that t-shirts are in the left side and sweaters of the right side (this is an example, ofc). Also, this one will take a loooong time untill you are satisfied. And you probably can only do it when you have bursts of productivity
-have a laundry basket with divisions-> if you have whites and colors already divided, then you just take the whites when its full and chug it inside the washing machine. Makes the process a no brainer.
-have a friend help you. I've never done this, but I'd totally do it for a friend. (This one is hard, since it involves being super vulnerable)
-experiment your own tecniques. You know you have low energy, so what can you do to maintain a presentable room with as little energy as possible?
Sorry for unsolicited advice. Its just that ive been in a much worse state than i am now and my room is only presentable because i started to adopted a set of rules that take little energy. Like, I'll just throw dirty clothes to the floor, never clean ones, and when i have more energy, I'll pick up the pile and put it in the basket.
I wish you the best of luck
Smell is a very important factor in forming memories. Marketers figured this out and they spray perfumes into the HVAC system in order to drive home their brand into their customers
Yes, this is prominent in hotel lobbies; banquet halls; casinos; fitness centers, medical facilities; spas and office buildings. It's done via cold-air diffusion technology, and it's been around since the 40s.
THE CARE AND KEEPING OF YOU MADE ME THINK ONCE WE GOT OUR PERIODS IT WAS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOREVER AND I WAS TOO SCARED TO ASK MY MOM 😂 f that book lmao
ily Mina
The dialogue in the comments is just as valuable as the video- it’s so interesting to hear everyone sharing how widely perspectives differ.
I know as a disabled person that the relatively recent to the last few years internet trend of shaming/mocking people’s bath/shower habits has been…. Uncomfy to say the least. It’s hard to reconcile societal/cultural expectations (even in jest) with a physical inability to follow them. Sometimes I shower and brush my teeth three times a day, and sometimes I am bedridden for months and also quarantined from others with no energy to lift my arms so my hair ends up in one huge mat until someone can help with it. On a pretty regular basis, I don’t have the physical ability to stand in the shower for 40 minutes (or the money to heat the water) and scrub every inch of my body. It took me a long time especially as a person with an ostomy bag- one of the the primary things people consider “disgusting and unclean”- to not consider myself “dirty”.
This definitely applies even moreso to folks who need permanent 24/7 assistance with basic tasks like toileting and bathing, and I’d love to see weaponizing peoples presumed cleanliness as a joke die off entirely- or at least make vocal exceptions for those who CAN’T do certain things vs choose not to.
My favorite description of a perfume is hands down Odeur 71 by Comme des Garçons. It’s pure poetry and 100% really how they describe this scent. “Smell of dust on a Hot Light-Bulb, Warm Photocopier Toner, Hot Metal, A Toaster, Freshly Welded Aluminium, The Ink in a Fountain Pen, Fresh Pencil Shavings, Wood and Moss, Bay Leaves and Bamboo, White Pepper, Hyacinth, Lettuce Juice.” It’s seriously perfect hahaha!
I was raised by dad so I grew up using his cologne. To this day I don’t identify with most scents catered to women. My favorite perfumes are always discontinued. Currently my favorite is Bronze Wood and Leather by Jo Malone. The people at the store told me Americans just don’t like it because of the “heavy leather scent” and that basically the only people who bought it were French. I’m not quite sure what they were trying to say hahaha!
When I first moved to NY 20 years ago I loved smelling Demeter scents. Earth worm was my favorite. It literally smells like fresh dirt and grass after the rain. They have scents like Thunderstorm, Turpentine, Lava Rock, Paperback and Play Doh.
Have you tried Tom Ford’s Oud Wood? I feel like you’d appreciate it!
I highly recommend Beyond Soap, which is a book written by a Canadian Dermatologist, it is a very easy read. Anyone pushing back on the concept of society being over clean hasn't separated the marketing from the science. It's not about not showering, which most people I find get hung up here and refuse to listen. It's about doing it right and with the right products. Over cleaning is linked to the rise in allergies, contact dermatitis, and more so re-learning how to clean ourselves properly is important.
💯 ...I was horrified to read the fine print on Johnson & Johnson baby wash that said it could cause skin irritation... but it makes sense.
I always mean to research the ingredients in soaps and lotions...
I remember in band class one time a boy called me dirty after asking if I showered at night or in the morning, and I told him at night. And then he told the whole class that I didnt shower and was unclean... it has honestly given me a complex about hygiene after all these years. That and the fact that my mom pushed an unhealthy and unfair rhetoric about hygiene on me growing up. She would tell me I smelled and that my nose didnt work every day of my life even if I was just freshly out of the shower and deodorized. Now as an adult I have terrible eczema and using too much soap makes my skin get hot and itchy. Idk if its due to over-washing growing up or genetic because I know some members of my family have other skin issues, but now I have to experiment differently with my hygiene to try and meet my skin somewhere in the middle, like by maybe towel-washing some days instead of showering every day, or using clays in my armpits on some days instead of deodorant every day.
My skin has now developed allergies to even all unscented, non-aluminum containing soaps. In fact, there is currently only one deodorant in the world I can use without making my skin bleed.
Yes! My mom also does the “you smell horrible” even if I literally just got out of the shower
I'm very sorry for you, from a fellow hardcore eczema sufferer! After years of trying everything, I can only use one specific soap for hair and body, and absolutely nothing else on my skin, no moisturizer, no makeup (eyelid eczema is the worst). Luckily I can take deodorant just fine. I also shower as less as I can, every two-three days usually, and just towel bath and use the bidet daily. My skin now looks and feels totally fine since I stopped with the overshowering and products, but it will flare like crazy if I change anything. I also have to control what I eat and avoid any stress. I haven't had any complaints about odor, because basically I don't sweat nor produce oil (that is why I have eczema), and actually many partners have complimented my smell unprompted before knowing my habits.
You mentioned struggling with eczema. I have too, along with other autoimmune issues. I had a really bad version on my hands. Trial and error, learned some triggers, wheat and soy, & it's much improved since avoiding those. I still have it but better. You might want to figure out if you have any food intolerances.
Many years ago I dated a dude who, for legitimate childhood trauma related reasons, was extraordinarily clean & bathed at least twice a day, brushed his teeth multiple times a day as well. Then he started telling me I had bad breath all the time. I brushed twice a day, didn’t have cavities, no reason for stinky breath, and ended up getting SUPER self conscious about it. The next time I hung out with my best friend I asked her to tell me if my breath smelled (because I knew she’d be 100% honest) and she was baffled, said my BF was nuts. I confronted him about it and it turns out that if my mouth just smelled like normal, regular, not-stinky clean mouth and NOT minty fresh toothpaste smell, he considered it “bad breath”. It made me really angry with him.
@@andromedaspark2241 It's really interesting that you say that because I just got tested for celiacs due to some stomach pain a couple weeks ago and thankfully I *don't* have celiacs but it turns out that I DO have some light intolerance to either wheat or gluten (I have to double check my notes of which it is, I know they're different) and the doctor said I would henefit from a grain or gluten free diet. I didn't pursue it further after he said it was just an intolerance but your comment has intrigued me and motivated me to look into it further! Thank you.
I can understand why you may not want to but please consider doing a video revisiting The Care And Keeping of You ♡
That book was honestly a major part of my adolescent development and I'd love to know if it still holds up and might be a viable option for helping my own daughter's learn 😊
I come from a Japanese family that has germs/dirt-related OCD running rampant, so sweat and dirt have always been a big no-no. Drespite me not having ocd myself, the absurd level of cleanliness have been instilled so deep that I've had panic attacks from being sweaty. I am aware that it's less than ideal and constantly make efforts to interact with "dirty" things (like anything public, like benches, railings, etc) without freaking out, but it's really hard, especially in a post-covid world.
Also, I collect perfume samples and really love fun fragrances. I especially like this indie brand named Alkemia! They have a Saint Louis cemetery scented one that is my absolute favourite. It smells just like the real place.
Thanks to social media, I realised, that the same people who oppressed me about "smelling"/"cleanliness" were the same people who dont wash their legs or stopped showering altogether.
🙃
Yes! Thank you, Mina! I have long been a supporter of the understanding the "hygiene" is more focused on aesthetic than health and is driven more by advertisement and propaganda than sound medical advice.
I remember when I was a young teen (13 or something like that), we went on Omegle and talked with some european girls. They asked us if we had clean water to wash ourselves (context: I live in South America). Bitch, I take showers daily, and even my grandma had potable water when she was little lol Just because we're on the third world doesn't mean we don't have the basics (and even more).
🤨 Yeah like if you’re on Omegle, obviously you have the ability to take showers lol….I don’t understand some people.
No need to be so rude. You were on Omegle, wtf do you expect? They were probably young girls who don’t know anything about your country. There is poverty everywhere. Don’t act like you know everything about every culture. You most likely don’t know very much about Europe either. Most Americans are dumb as shit when it comes to Europe 🤦🏻♀️
@@xCindyLouWhox dont underestimate how mean/dumb some people can be. as a brazilian teen, i used to be on omegle with friends all the time and people had the nerve to ask us if we had wifi lol
this is such a fascinating topic that I've never even thought of before. as a hairstylist I often end up telling clients to shampoo less because shampooing every single day is very hard on your hair and on your scalp. my suggested is at least every other day but 2-3 times a week is good for most people, some can go much longer but some people have to wash everyday for whatever reason that may be, there's not really a wrong answer but less is better.
12:09 I saw in a BBC documentary that during the post Black Death era, while they did not bath in water, they would use dry cloths to rub down their bodies regularly, effectively removing oil, debris, and dead skin from the body, and would use wooden combs, which does the same thing, and is currently a hair care trend because wooden combs spread sebum from your scalp to your ends. In English society at the time, cleanliness was still close to Godliness, and was a trait which people were judged by. Also, bad smells were supposed to bring bad humors, so people would often place herbs under what was effectively their mattresses and carpets, which was to be changed with the seasons. This applied to working class farmers, as well.
Im in love with replica sents, i use “jazz club” as my signiture sent i love it so so much the description is “heady cocktails and cigars” its so unique especially as a perfume it has some masculene undertones but yes love the brand replica
Jazz Club is my favourite too! It also manages to last long but not have a big "throw" so it doesn't bother people by filling a whole room. Amazing smell
yes!! it is my absolute fav!! i also really like “coffee break”, almost like the daytime sister of “jazz club”, and they layer super well!
Mina! I’m so glad you mentioned finishing your course of antibiotics. I know it’s not the focus of the video but YES! Finish them AND don’t take them unless prescribed by a professional. Great content as always
On the bit about over-sanitizing: my brother used to have a lot of allergy problems as a child that disappeared entirely once he befriended a kid from a farmer family and consequently spent a lot of time on that farm (where his immune system presumably encountered plenty of bacteria to adapt to). Obviously one kid does not a representative study make, but the conclusion that a "well-trained" immune system equals less allergies makes perfect sense to me.
Also, thank you for telling us about the Zoologist perfumes! I haven't bothered much with perfumes in a while because they started to seem rather samey to me, but the Zoologist ones sound really unique and unusual. I'll definitely be checking them out!
As someone who likes outdoor activities that make me smell of sweat and dirt, it’s kinda hard in the US to live like that cause I’m always afraid/ nervous of what other people would think of me if I’m smelly. I’ve gotten more over this over time but there are still some times when it causes my anxiety to spike.
Just know that nobody will have the courage to actually *say* anything about it and funk on! 🤣
I think that this thing about not showering everyday is a very north hemysphere thing to do, because, here in Brazil everyone takes showers everyday eve multiple times a day, a practice that came from the indigenous people because it's hot in here like, you will be unconfortable if you dont shower everyday at least once
Não mesmo, isso é algo da cultura brasileira. Se vc for nos países vizinhos do Brasil (Bolívia, Peru, Argentina) vc verá que o pessoal não toma tanto banho assim. Eu visitei os Andes e boa parte das pessoas que via tinham o cabelo bem oleoso, dava pra ver que não lavavam com frequência. Aqui no Brasil temos um clima quente e grandes reservas de água, o que nos possibilita tomar tantos banhos.
I’m german and i shower like 5/7 days a week. My brazilian boyfriend had a hard time adjusting to the cold climate here with showering twice a day :’D his skin would get super dry, even with lotion. he changed his habit now, but in the beginning he didn’t feel good about not showering so often. In the beginning He was also pretty shocked to hear that i don’t shower every every day 😂 before i visited brazil, i couldn’t imagine showering twice or three times a day, but now i understand! Its soo humid in some places 😊 i kinda enjoy these cultural differences, i think they are super interesting 😊
I've lived in tropical Asian countries, and it was great to take a shower every day. But back in Pennsylvania, it's so dry in the winter because of the heating system, that a shower every day is terrible for my skin.
@@tsoialina Nem td o Brasil tem água em abundância. Mts sofrem com a seca e em regiões periféricas de mt cidade grande é comum faltar água ou ter fornecimento com qualidade horrível (vide a geosmina na água no RJ). Ainda assim a gente dá um gento de banhar. Como diz o ditado, "sou pobre, mas sou limpinha"😂😂
Apesar do clima ser um fator mt importante, tem mt gringo que vem pra cá e msm com o calor insuportável do verão não toma banho.
Queria ver um vídeo desses na perspectiva brasileira. Sério, o q explica a sensação de prazer que a gente tem de tomar um banho com produtos simples e se sentir limpo e fresquinho dps?? Pq os gringos não apreciam isso? Kkkkkkk
Loved to know the history behind cleanliness. When I saw the title of this video I immediately clicked as cleanliness has been something I’ve been reflecting a lot about, as Through my personal experience and also seeing different cultures dealing with cleanliness. I feel like this reflects a lot on our state of mind. My psychologist mom used to say that the way our room/house is organised (or disorganised) is a projection of the way our minds find themselves at that moment of life. Thus, chaos would reflect chaos.
I also find that the opposite also occurs when it comes to anxiety, depression and other mental disorders (ps for the word “disorders”), as cleaning and organising as to bringing a sense of cleanliness for the chaos in one’s mind. Or representing the urge to solve intangible things that are transferred to solving/cleaning the surroundings.
Also in a cultural bias, I felt that in some cultures where sexuality is treated as a taboo, often the obsession with cleanliness can possibly be a way of “cleaning the dirty aims of one’s body”.
It’s all just a reflection I’ve been having though. Not affirming anything 😊
i love perfumes for one reason : my grandma had one very specific perfume and when i smell it nowadays i always have an idiot smile on my face because it reminds me of her. It's one of the last things i remember of her with her voice and pictures. For the rest, i hate perfume, i'm super sensitive to smells and perfume is my personnal nightmare, especially when humans have so many different smells, i'm sad seeing people hide that. It's a part of us. And as someone who is in depression and sometimes cannot leave my bed, the obsession with cleanliness is becoming so complicated to see. I've seen people here in France arguing that if you don't shower twice a day you're disgusting and when you don't have the strength to shower every day hurts so badly.
I was thinking about how this culture around perfumes is really inhibitory to disabled or chronically ill people. Not only do we have more issues with maintaining hygiene many of us are are smell sensitive, or have pretty sever allergies. I almost got into perfume when I started getting into fashion, and then realized that most smells I would probably hate if I had to smell them over and over again on my body. The concentrated scent would probably make me overstimulated or have a physical reaction.
I don't know, I've been thinking about how so many things are prohibitory for disabled people and how in many small and big ways we are isolated from public life. Who needs ugly laws when the outside world is so hostile to you that its completely inaccessible, especially considering how now the world is trying to pretend the pandemic is over and is really leaving us out to die.