You guys hit another home run!! Love you guys and all the effort and quality you put into these productions. They are obviously labor of loves and are much appreciated!!
@@23bcx Opera doesn't have keyloggers, also the big name browsers don't have keyloggers installed or else you'd have the company dissolving. Not to mention, no one is going to integrate a keylogger into a browser because if they did it would've been Chrome (Google already has access to all of your information anyway) or Brave (because it's monetized via Crypto and uses Google). You're acting like these well known browsers have keyloggers when they clearly don't. I don't use Opera simply because I don't like it and I hate Chromium based browsers, but don't try to act as if it has a keylogger integrated into it because it's owned by a Chinese company, that's pretty racist. You could have said that you don't trust Opera because it's owned by a Chinese company and thus maintained by the Chinese government who aren't trustworthy, but you didn't.
@@reversalmushroom What if they allow you to see through the walls? Or see future, or see the past of anything you look at, or see into alternate dimensions? What if they let you see through the ladies clothes?
I love the frustration over the eyeballs discussion. A bunch of the loopholes were legitimate ways to interpret the wording. "You never specified what KIND of bar", "you never specified what currency", but the genie yanking out your eyeballs after granting you all the books is like his own personal addition to a wish. Like "I grant you the wish to speak every language but you get an STD as well."
It's more like just cop out twist. Like "oh uh you want to have more sex, ok, you have way more sex like every day" "But...." "But your pecker falls off, so you can't like enjoy any of it" "Then how can I have sex?!" And also "piano. Cool so your the worlds best piano player, but your hands fall off"
Yeah it's kind of an impossible game, even for his final wish I was thinking "he didn't say the money had to be instantly transferred into his account, so the genie could make it arrive in like 300 years" or just simply it gets seized by the bank/government or the sun just fucking explodes afterward. Because why not?
@@soliopy Or you know, he didn't specify that it was clean money. Cause everyone knows that the government's going to investigate why a random schmuck got 40 billion dollars transferred into his bank account, after all.
Honestly a cool catch your language idea would be you now can but your brain is so full of stuff you are now a vegetable that spouts nonsense in random languages
@@TheSfelex Intentionally mishearing "dollars" as "doll hairs", or saying "doll hairs" and hoping the other person mishears you (ie, "I'll give you a million doll hairs if you do this for me"), is a somewhat common joke among kids. It goes back until at least the 90's (I found reference to it appearing in an episode of Pete & Pete), but it probably goes back much further.
@@TheSfelex It's just a very old joke to mishear "million dollars" that way. It was in Dumb & Dumber, 30 Rock, I think Family Guy, and no doubt others. Chris & Jack get credit for subverting the old joke because they pre-emptively cut it out as a possibility.
I like how the genie was genuinely disappointed with the fumble at the end, like he was actually excited somebody managed to outwit his loopholes only to fall for his on sloppy wording. At least he gets to walk away with some new eyes.
Honestly yeah! You could make a show where the protagonist wastes one wish, makes a wish so they can audit their next wish and the rest of the show is them living normal life until they figure how to make the perfect wish
The goal of any genie must be to escape the lamp by turning some unlucky wisher into a genie in their place. They spend all their lamp-bound eternity thinking up wish loopholes so they can seize the chance when it arises. Any wisher who doesn’t accidentally wish to be a genie then gets a monkey’s paw loophole out of sheer spite. He should have listened to the genie’s sob story and he might have figured this out!
@@mk0664 Unfortunately the genie is not omnipotent. This is shown by it being bound to begin with. So it almost certainly has rules preventing its unconditional release. What you really want is to teach the person wishing how to escape being a genie while gaining all the powers you can in the process. Basically figure out how to escape while keeping as much unconditional power for yourself by them taking your place. Then have them do the wish with the knowledge of that wish being their own get out of jail free card. This way you can swap off with mortals and have everyone gain powers one after the other. You can also be a jerk and hide the lamp so no one can use it after your free if they didn't specify your inability to do that in the wish.
First wish: torture the genie so thoroughly and eternally that the pain it experianced resonates with every wish it is asked, reminding it of the consequences it may face if it gives a punishment to the wisher’s wish
I love the pure honesty from the genie being like "bro trust me do not ask to commune with the dead" and how Jack's face is just stunned and a bit scared.
Right! You never really think about it! if you COULD talk to the dead, it'd be awful to hear their never-ending stories about all the terrible and unjust ways they died, and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it! :O
@@princessthyemis Yeah considering if its around 100+ billion dead people who maybe havent talked with anyone in thousands of years depending on if this magic scenario has afterlife. There would just be constant mumbling of billion voices in your ears (mostly in languages you wouldnt know). Also dying yourself would probably not help either as you would just be there communing with the dead till the end of time.
To be fair: if you could really talk with the dead, that would mean that they are somehow stuck on earth for eternity what alone would be sheer hell, because you know you will end up the same way. Else it wouldn't matter, because if you per se can talk with the dead, but they don't answer, because, well, dead or not hear anymore, also a wasted wish, but nothing worth a warning.
Oh man imagine being Chris and having to turn yourself blue for a performance of some kind, what a crazy thing that I bet has never come up in his life before.
That was one of my favorite pieces from the sketch as well. I'm glad the writers used that type of humor sparingly as it loses its effect rather quickly if done too often.
Something fundamentally correct about the sentiment, I think. If there was an infomercial for the concept you'd hear something like: "9/10 metaphysicists agree that talking to the dead is a terrible idea, and the one that doesn't can't seem to stop chanting in Aramaic or all that blood from pouring out their eyes."
"I wish for a deep and lasting love" "Granted, but she soon sacrifices herself to become the moon incarnate where she can always watch over you from afar"
I really love the initial wish-audit. For years I’ve been telling people that I’ve wanted a genie buddy that I can pitch wishes to, where we could discuss the potential ramifications. I don’t think I’d ever “lock-in” a wish, and the fun would come from simply chatting about the possibilities (for better or for worse).
@@ZT1ST As in, forsee bugs before you make them? Well, I suppose so... though it would be more of a consultant, since the convo would have to always go like this: "Hey genie, what kind of improper functionality would I get if I wished that you'd commit this code for me?". Though this question might not work, since the first wish was to know the consequences of wishes before you make them - here we're already trying to limit them to bugs and the like but there's nothing stopping the genie from ignoring the question and saying something like "I commit it, the next day your company goes bankrupt and then you die, just for good measure".
I wish for a part 2 of this video in a world where TH-cam still exists and access to the internet is a reality, at least for myself and my eyeballs don’t fall out.
@@mcbadrobotvoice8155 "Ok, yeah, I can live with that. But I just wish I knew how to make that a formal wish without falling into some other trap..." "Wish granted; you now know what your final wish *should* have been. Goodbye ~"
@@Merilirem Talking specifically about the genie from Aladdin, when outside of the lamp he can obviously do whatever he wants to himself, from shapeshifting to ( more relevant ) clothes he wears and items he holds. And the gag where he's summoned with his bathtub heavily implies these shapeshifting/manifestation powers work inside the lamp, and even that the lamp is a Doctor Who kind of deal, bigger on the inside than the outside. Phenomenal cosmic powers also imply he could potentially manifest a whole, if maybe limited in size and potence, a whole universe inside the lamp. Not that this post is relevant to my life, i'm just a regular human after all haha
Once again, the greatest part of any Chris & Jack video is the unavoidable chemistry the characters settle into. I love that the genie isn't TRYING to screw over Jeff, he's rooting for him.
@@Kyle-nm1kh $10 Billion JMD is $60 million USD. This is about 1/30th of Jamaica’s yearly economic output. I’m not an expert, so I don’t know how this would affect the Jamaican economy. My guess is that it wouldn’t destroy it, but it might cause economic downturn.
I like to imagine he will meet another genie, who will try to take his eyes, but find out post-wish that it’s impossible. I like to imagine that genie being very upset and confused by the inability to take the man’s eyes.
At the end of that last one "I did not say Doll Hairs, and this if it's found without loopholes will be henceforth referred to as 'perfect money wish'" so he would go "Okay I wish for the previously described 'perfect money wish'"
It’d be the same thing as the notebook, he already HAS the wish (in his head and/or notebook) so him wishing for that wish would be just him getting to know he had the perfect wish he should’ve told the genie instead of wishing for the previous wish verbatim…trust me I know it sucks, but i was a genie once and you gotta be suuuuper specific with the wish you actually want, because i had to be specific when granting them…or however vague I wanted to be when I interpreted it doesn’t matter I’m GIVING YOU A WISH…well not anymore I’m retired BUT STILL
Which is odd because the obvious loophole to every monetary wish is “you get the money but the gov knows about it and has evidence you stole it, so you’re now facing multiple felony charges.”
@@CrypticCobra which was something he later remedied with his "post-taxes" Inclusion, but yeah that could have been the catch if he locked in the Jamaican dollar wish. Or, you know, Doll hairs.
@@rudrodeepchatterjee Well since he asked in his first wish to know the loopholes the jamaican dollars was a known free wish that would have worked. He didn't specify there would be more loopholes so therefore it was safe.
His first wish has loopholes, like at 2:44. Its apparently that the first wish more so gives the genie creativity and a pass to escuse messing up any wish he made... It's hard to explain, besides the guy who made the wish being upset at the genie for fulfilling it.
The other easy loophole in dark comics is you can fly, but you don't have protection from wind shear. Your skin is abraded by everything you hit if you fly more than a few stories above the ground. Or you can fly, but like inch worm slow, so you'd be better off walking anyway.
I love the Chris and Jack formula, Start •Quirky intro with an underlying story that becomes semi-relevant for the short story. •Introduce Problem/Question many people have thought of before. •Explore many solutions using quick wit and back-forth conversation that gives no breaks and constant verbatim which has nice flow and likeable. •Reach middle of story where the problem hit a road bump that either switches the feeling of the story and/or increases the depth of the solutions for the problem initially stated. •slowly but surely approach a solution •build up towards a positive ending. •happy/cathartic ending is within grasp. •sadness...usually for jack...
Man the whole time I was rooting for him thinking "I hope he doesn't wish for 'that', I hope he doesn't wish for 'that'", and he went ahead and wished for that.
The first one should've been structured so that he would answer your questions with the optimal way to structure wishes that match your desires and deliver maximal value to you without causing any loopholes
An entire pub made out of Chocolate is a LOT more Chocolate than just a single bar's worth, so that might actually be the only wish where the genie gives you a BETTER outcome than you were hoping for. I see this as an absolute win
It’s more chocolate than you wished for, but I imagine it’s still just regular chocolate and the pub will be in a public space, meaning it can start melting the moment it’s created (not immediately but I don’t think it will be around for more that 1 or 2 days), you’d have to be able to disassemble the pub and store the chocolate in order for the wish to be worth it.
@RevivalOfSchwann presumably this means you own the land the pub sits on too so once the chocolate melts/rots/is removed you could find yourself the owner of a very nice well located empty lot in a nice downtown area of a major us city.
@@RevivalOfSchwann bruh he asked for a chocolate bar. To make the wish worth it by those standards he goes in, rips a chunk off a chair, and he has his chocolate bar. The rest can melt into a pool.
@@SoSpecters so you're saying that if you ask for 5 dollars, and someone says "I'll give you 10,000 instead" you'd be like "thats too much to handle just give me 5" lol
You gotta wish for the ability to roll back any wishes that don't convey what was originally intended by the wisher or adapted, adjusted, misunderstood, or maliciously changed by the wish granter in perpetuity throughout the universe under all circumstances including being unconscious, an inanimate object, without eyeballs, or an ethereal object drifting between dimensions.
when confronted with a wish granting genie I think the wise option would be to wish that 1. all previously genie-granted wishes are void, 2. the genie will never grant another wish after the next one, 3. the genie will never interact or interfere with anyone ever again
I love how the video starts off with a subversion joke by instead of having the genie come out of a fancy old Arabian lamp he comes out of a standard modern desk lamp.
It’s a good joke and a bit of backstory set up, because the desk lamp genie might’ve wished for 1,000,000 wishes from another genie in the other oil lamp! 🤯
The thing is even if he did repeat the entire wish and didn't get the notebook, the loophole would be that he still didn't specify a Time when to get it granted, so the transference would have been made mere minutes before the end of his natural lifespan (still fulfilling all conditions, and it's tardiness being probably attributed to bureaucratic processes, due to the money being entirely of legal origin and after taxes).
@@Henriku37 40 billion dollars in small amounts over his entire life would still be substantial amount of money per transfer. Like a couple hundred million per year is still tens of millions per month, which is hundreds of thousands of $ per day.
"then your first one does, you get incurable cancer, even by a wish, and you have to watch in a third person view,as your eye balls fall out, also incurable by a wish. "
"But your glasses break." "Oh, that's okay. I needed to update my prescription anyway. It's also not like I'm blind without them." "..." "What, you think glasses work like with Velma from Scooby Doo?" "...No..." "Dude, she was legally blind. I'm just nearsighted. I actually prefer reading *without* my glasses." "Your eyeballs fall out." "Okay, *now* you're just sulking."
Lol, Futurama did that joke one of the times they parodied The Twilight Zone. (Glasses break) "My glasses! ...Oh well, my eyesight isn't that bad!" (Eyeballs fall out) "Oh no! ...Good thing I know braille!" (Hands fall off)
@@avreve Don't need vocal chords to use echolocation, and how would that help you read anyway? Whistle at braille and hope the tiny bumps sound different?
Genie: “I’ve awaken! What are your wishes?” Me: “First, I wish for you to turn all fresh water into salt water, and all salt water into fresh water” Genie: “What the-“ Me: “Next I wish for Bernoulli’s Principle to be revoked so that wings no longer work and that planes just cease to function immediately” Genie: “Please stop- don’t you-“ Me: “Lastly, I wish to multiply gravity by a factor of 9, just to see what happens-“ Genie: “There’s so many things wrong with all of this.. how does a billion dollars, perfect health, and the love of your life, no catch sound?” Me: “That’s not what I wish for. Chop chop lamp boy” (Ty Russianbadger for the wish ideas)
I've been working on the plot to a story where the main character dies and is transported into a strange world where she wakes up as a genie, and each of the 5 arcs are the 5 people who summon her and make their 3 wishes. This is inspiring and silly xD i love it.
I've seen DOZENS of these videos or comic strips where somebody finds the Genie's lamp and messes up their wish somehow... this is officially the best. The ULTIMATE genie bit where everything else is taken into account. Amazing.
my girlfriend walked in the room and got upset i was watching a movie without her. so your quality and editing is as good as the guys who make triple A movies. good job boys!
That's the loophole. He wished that he had the ability to audit the wish before wishing, which gave no actual protections to the making of a wish. The same loophole is used for the punchline.
The first wish was only to have the ability to audit a potential wish first. Once he says he wishes something it can be granted by the genie whether or not it was audited.
The Audit wish was also a trap. Sure it allowed him to know what the tricks and loopholes were to every wish, but it also put more pressure on him to find the perfect wish while slowly driving him insane from realizing just how technical and crazy he had to be with his wishing.
@@_Tzer Congratulations, you now have the certifications and ability to work as a lawyer, but none the knowledge a lawyer has to be able to do that job
The audit itself didn't mandate that the genie tell the truth regarding the secret, it just mandates that the genies "tell him". The genie could lie still.
The implication that the genie became a genie because he asked for a million wishes, and the lamp being in "grandpa's stuff" as well as the typical genie lamp being in there makes me think that this genie is his jeff's grandfather
Anytime you think back on your wishes and you come up with a different interpretation, the timeline changes to fit that new interpretation involuntarily. This is whenever you think on a wish, can't forget all about this to avoid it. If you at any time after this point hear or think along the lines of a wish you made and interpret it, the universe will shift to match your exact personal interpretation in the moment. EDIT: Confusing topic on the amnesia route, fixed explanation. Also your eyeballs fall out. Keep at it, you got this.
I would like a book that allows me to do the things shown by the characters in the Amazon Prime TV series The Wheel of Time, where there are no changes to my body or mind, this book simply allows the reader to figure out how to do those magic things. Then, anyone not reading from this specific book on the same day is unable to do those things. The book weighs 10 pounds and appears inside an openable cedar chest 5 feet away from me.
@@o.o5834use first wish for this, then use the second wish to OVERWRITE the original wish using the first wishes effects to allign the overrule to your interpretation. Then for the third wish, you wish for omnipotence.
@@pokemonfanmario7694 I think you meant to have the third wish granted and then overwrite the first wish. But at the same time, it is to your interpretation. Yeah, that works.
when he said he's an all powerful god and that he wasn't goign to ttip the scales of the universe for a poorly phrased wish i was like, ''damn... that, really makes alot of sense,''
@mentaya11 yeah but in the fairy tale (and alladin) it's still not a lamp. It's the oil container FOR the lamp. It's a real common misconception, mainly because in Alladin they clearly show its the oil container but they still call it itself a lamp
I feel like we need a pt2 of this so much untapped potential: - superpowers - work around the "cant wish for love" angle - knowing when u can die - time travel - work around the "no kill rule" - summon a fictional character - know the meaning of life - etc
@@plasmabasher honestly? Not a bad gig. The bad Disney Marvel movies are typically Mary Sue types that always win, look beautiful and have universe affecting powers. Just because their bad movies doesn't make the lives bad ones. I mean, one of the main characteristics of one is the inverse of the other; if you live a charmed life with few consequences where everyone loves you or admires you and thinks you're great? Bad superhero movie. Not a terrible life.
and despite wanting to fuck with the guy to the extent of making his eyeballs fall out or turn into a housefly, he still gives him a fair and honest heads up not to wish for it
@@stevenagelutton4322 Think about it. Over 100 billion humans have lived on this planet. I don't think you would have great time. Plus, being able to speak to them might also open up a door you really don't want to have open between realms.
I don't think it's that he couldn't think of something too make it worse (I'm sure he could), it just felt entirely unnecessary as it's already bad enough on its own.
Dude overthought it. Just use your first wish, to wish that the genie would operate in good faith and not make any attempt or effort to interpret your wish in a way other than what you meant, and would grant any and all wishes you make (including but not limited to this current one) in the way you intended, with no unwanted, unforeseen, or undesirable side effects, twists, or outcomes, and that any and all wishes you make would only have good, positive, beneficial, desirable outcomes. Also, the whole "You wanna hear my sob story or you wanna play the wish game?" ...I kinda wanna hear his story XD
Catch. 1. That’s technically three wishes since you used so many “ands”. 2. The first part the genie really seemed to genuinely be confused as to what he meant. Just because he doesn’t make an INTENTIONAL effort could just mean he’ll do it unintentionally. 3. The second part since technically you said “wishes you make” and not “wishes I make”. It wouldn’t change anything since the genie isn’t making wishes, even if you said “I”, that would be the end of your third wish and since it would only apply to you the genie just goes back to his old seld
@@mrnoname5183 If its about wording just say "I wish that any wish I wish from you is exactly what I hoped the wish from you to me would be, with no catches". Easily solvable. Then wish for an infinite amount of wishes. Loopholed the genie.
@@josephsalah647 I mean If i REALLY wanted to try twisting that, and according to what seemed to be allowed in the video. The genie would do the first one, however he could make it so that 1. You either can’t speak in order to make your wish 2. Have a brain aneurysm, much like the “I wish to be happy” catch or 3. Make your eyeballs fall out 😂. Good wish tho, I actually had to think about how to twist that. But the main problem is essentially the downside doesn’t have to be a flaw in wording necessarily, but rather an unintended consequence or restriction added on. Which is why winning against a genie like this is tough if not impossible
Switching place with the genie gave me an idea: Wish that, after the third wish is granted, the being trapped in the lamp at the time the wish' granting is completed is freed and allowed to keep all their powers. Wish for a million wishes.
@@shitpostingstevebecauseall6279 i am fully aware, I was just making a joke (although sometimes they come from bottles?) Also two people started their answer with "To be fair" and that is fucking hilarious
3:57 that was against the rules, it’s not supposed to lock in until the genie tells him and they deliberate, the genie should now unconditionally serve him without loopholes so long as he lives
even with that good wish, he didn't specify what type of bank account. The genie could put it in a CD that has great levels of maturity, but has 100% early withdraw fees until he is 120 years old. Loophole found. Also the genie could interpret dollar to mean dole heir meaning that he could only get the account/money of hes Dole's heir. Extra loophole? (somewhat dependent on how you pronounce dollar I think) LOVE this one btw fellas! the quick dialogue and banter are always my fav.
@@johnflux1 Oh that's 100% possible to leverage. Go to a bank and say that you have a CD with 120 year maturity note, they'll write you a price for it. Probably at a big discount, given the way that long-term things are priced. IRL the Austrian 100-year bond is about the same thing, though with a coupon payment, it's trading at 47 so you'd get around maybe 30-40% of the original amount in that account.
You didn't word it correctly! You have to say loopholes for every wish! Otherwise it's like the guy above me said where every single loophole will come undone! And I'll tell you what, there's a lot of quilts, blankets, knots, etc. and everything that's going to come undone all around the world... even everyone's shoelaces probably😅
Problem is, what is a loop hole? Often enough it's just bad phrasing. His last wish for example, that wasn't even a loophole, he was given exactly what he wished for. Overall the jinn could just tell him the potential loophole and then still f up his wish the same way, simply fulfilling it very directly without any interpretation.
@@burningscalesEasy. Just give a very specific definition of the type of loophole you want to be immune to. There’s only one definition for THAT specific loophole. We have the dictionary.
"I wish that my wishes are granted in the exact way that I personally prefer that they be granted, with no additional effects beyond what I specifically asked for and desired"
Genie: "How do you personally prefer for the wish to be granted? You want me to read your mind?" Guy: "Uh, can you?" Genie: "You'd have to wish for that." Guy: "DAMN IT!"
Actually wait, no no, this is actually a good comment because of the 2nd part. Pair this with the first wish in the video, and he can constantly ask the Genie about the other wishes, with loopholes being largely avoidable. But he'd have to be very specific. On the bright side, if he asks for infinite wishes, then him being turned into a genie won't be possible. He'll just have infinite wishes. Once he gets the infinite wishes, he can ask about getting a wish that let's him decide what loopholes he wants, not the genie deciding. Or changing the loopholes that the genie comes up with.
That already is a loophole. Do you truly know what you desire? Also that would give you no help from genie so you pretty much have to plan out the wish to every minor detail, which then is a limit of your own intelligence.
Wish granted, But since your tounge is inside your head " the way I mean it" is what you say not think (at least you wont waste a wish for pointing on a notebook and wishing for that
"In my head" feels like a few different definitions could be used for that phrase. The wish isn't retroactive so you would want perfect clarity of that definition. Just as an example, you could be thinking of a wish before saying it to the genie in your head and that wish could be granted because it was in your head. Or more literally, you could wish for a million dollar but it appears in your actual head...
"My guy, you glanced at me while making your second wish and briefly wondered why genies are blue and what my shirt is called. "Because we live in copper lamps and it's just a vest. Sorry, those were your second and third wishes, so I can't grant the other wish in your head. Good wish, though. You really should have had *that* one be your second. I would have answered those questions for free."
Ya know what? Shout out to your camera, sound, lighting, wardrobe, makeup and writing people too. That genie effect didn't just come WITH Blender. You're all awesome. Good job.
Yo, I LOVE this sketch of yours. This is exactly my kind of humor/thoughts, cause people almost never phrase things so painstakingly correct, that even in this case a literal genie couldn’t deny it. Great work, thanks for the laugh
3:12 "I'm an all powerful god-like being who can control the whims of the universe. I'm not just gonna tilt the scales of the cosmos for a poorly phrased wish." just WOW
I think even a contextual space where we acknowledge the genie’s want to be needlessly obstinate, it’s still totally inappropriate that the genie just has “his eyeballs will fall out” in his back pocket as a way to foil wishes.
Right, it could be like "But the infinite scroll of knowledge is written in a dead language no one can understand". Or the having access to all the books could just be to manifest a bag full of library cards, but he has to physically travel to each one to use them.
I mean, it's an immediate loophole - doesn't have to be the only one. Just the one that immediately comes to mind. Which is why, during the second to last wish, he says "Oh right, you covered the doll hairs' thing' as he enumerated the possibility of it having a loophole.
@@ZT1ST It's not a loophole though, it's just the genie doing something bad to the wish maker, completely separate from the wish itself. Like if someone wishes to live in a big mansion, and the genie grants the wish but then just breaks their legs or something. It's lazy writing. Unless the joke is that the genie himself is super lazy and can't be bothered coming up with clever loopholes, but that's not what this sketch is about.
Fun fact: The original concept of the “bad wishes” was just a nice message about how sometimes what you want isn’t necessarily good for you. The genies would grant the exact wish you wanted, but it’d just turn out that said wish wasn’t actually a nice thing to have. Example: “Make me the ruler of this country”. It’d happen as you described it, AND as your mind pictured it, but it’d just turn out that the responsibility of being the ruler of a country was too much to bear. But it _is_ way funnier to make loopholes that cause the wisher genuine suffering, so that’s what everyone picked. Fair point.
A genie or djinn is a fire spirit trapped in a magic artefact and forced to obey human commands, I think we can all agree we would be tricky about granting wishes if we were in that situation too.
the fact djins really exist and can really grant wishes , there are good ones who obey god but also evil ones who grant wishes for humans but they will go to hell , you can do more research if you want ( arab , islamic culture )
@@infosite9787 to know where the hell you got 40 billion dollars from the IRS and FBI financial crimes unit will be investigating you and possibly seize it until they can prove you didn’t earn it through illegitimate means and likely wouldn’t believe “I got it from a genie”
Thanks to Opera for sponsoring this video. Check them out here! opr.as/Opera-browser-chrisandjack
You guys hit another home run!! Love you guys and all the effort and quality you put into these productions. They are obviously labor of loves and are much appreciated!!
I guess people forget about keyloggers being built into browsers fairly quick if the browser is owned by a chinese company
@@23bcx Opera doesn't have keyloggers, also the big name browsers don't have keyloggers installed or else you'd have the company dissolving. Not to mention, no one is going to integrate a keylogger into a browser because if they did it would've been Chrome (Google already has access to all of your information anyway) or Brave (because it's monetized via Crypto and uses Google). You're acting like these well known browsers have keyloggers when they clearly don't. I don't use Opera simply because I don't like it and I hate Chromium based browsers, but don't try to act as if it has a keylogger integrated into it because it's owned by a Chinese company, that's pretty racist. You could have said that you don't trust Opera because it's owned by a Chinese company and thus maintained by the Chinese government who aren't trustworthy, but you didn't.
I love the Twilight zone reference and then the futurama parody of it.
Even the ad read was funny and enjoyable. The quality of your videos is great
Jeff got away alive, unharmed, and with supernaturally good eyes. That is the best encounter with a genie to ever happen.
He said the eyeballs scrape the inside of his eyelids, so I wouldn't say that.
@reversalmushroom Honestly, that's an acceptable trade-off for permanently having minorly superhuman vision. Just use lots of eye drops.
@@tom23245 His eyesight is not improved; his eyeballs are just exempt from negative repercussions of subsequent wishes.
@@reversalmushroomthey are also super strong, so it's probably immune to regular damage too.
@@reversalmushroom What if they allow you to see through the walls? Or see future, or see the past of anything you look at, or see into alternate dimensions? What if they let you see through the ladies clothes?
I love the frustration over the eyeballs discussion. A bunch of the loopholes were legitimate ways to interpret the wording. "You never specified what KIND of bar", "you never specified what currency", but the genie yanking out your eyeballs after granting you all the books is like his own personal addition to a wish. Like "I grant you the wish to speak every language but you get an STD as well."
It's more like just cop out twist.
Like "oh uh you want to have more sex, ok, you have way more sex like every day"
"But...."
"But your pecker falls off, so you can't like enjoy any of it"
"Then how can I have sex?!"
And also "piano. Cool so your the worlds best piano player, but your hands fall off"
Yeah it's kind of an impossible game, even for his final wish I was thinking "he didn't say the money had to be instantly transferred into his account, so the genie could make it arrive in like 300 years" or just simply it gets seized by the bank/government or the sun just fucking explodes afterward. Because why not?
@@soliopy Or you know, he didn't specify that it was clean money.
Cause everyone knows that the government's going to investigate why a random schmuck got 40 billion dollars transferred into his bank account, after all.
Honestly a cool catch your language idea would be you now can but your brain is so full of stuff you are now a vegetable that spouts nonsense in random languages
Wtf is all to books gonna do anyone? After you read 0.4% you die of old age.
"And I did not say doll hairs." 😂 You guys do your research!
E
Please enlighten the poor ignorant soul? i didnt get it
@@TheSfelex The genie could've misheard dollars as doll hairs
@@TheSfelex Intentionally mishearing "dollars" as "doll hairs", or saying "doll hairs" and hoping the other person mishears you (ie, "I'll give you a million doll hairs if you do this for me"), is a somewhat common joke among kids. It goes back until at least the 90's (I found reference to it appearing in an episode of Pete & Pete), but it probably goes back much further.
@@TheSfelex It's just a very old joke to mishear "million dollars" that way. It was in Dumb & Dumber, 30 Rock, I think Family Guy, and no doubt others.
Chris & Jack get credit for subverting the old joke because they pre-emptively cut it out as a possibility.
I like how the genie was genuinely disappointed with the fumble at the end, like he was actually excited somebody managed to outwit his loopholes only to fall for his on sloppy wording.
At least he gets to walk away with some new eyes.
And a notebook that is most _definitely_ his.
His pride immediately turned to disappointment.
Yeah but they scratch when you blink
@@quinnlevy8996 Stop. I don't like that thought.
I don't know if any it was mentioned anywhere but what was the loophole for the very first wish (the wish audit) I smell a great conspiracy here
Milkshake and a brain aneurism got me too good
RIP infehmous1984
On some days, that doesn't sound too bad
@@civilizedmonkey1795 Drinking that milkshake fast enough feels like a brain aneurism already,
Honestly, I might take that one.
@@NevTheDeranged stop trying to be funny
I honestly want to just hear these two bounce potential wishes off each other lol GIVE US THE EXTENDED CUT
I was wondering why I felt the need to replay the vid. Extended cut! Extended cut!
Yes! I would even pay for it. Make it a 2 hour long Q&A session
@@koray1621 yessssss
Honestly yeah! You could make a show where the protagonist wastes one wish, makes a wish so they can audit their next wish and the rest of the show is them living normal life until they figure how to make the perfect wish
Real talk, I could watch an hour of that.
The goal of any genie must be to escape the lamp by turning some unlucky wisher into a genie in their place. They spend all their lamp-bound eternity thinking up wish loopholes so they can seize the chance when it arises. Any wisher who doesn’t accidentally wish to be a genie then gets a monkey’s paw loophole out of sheer spite. He should have listened to the genie’s sob story and he might have figured this out!
Couldn't i just wish for the genie to be free from his bonds without the need for someone to take his place?
@@mk0664 Unfortunately the genie is not omnipotent. This is shown by it being bound to begin with. So it almost certainly has rules preventing its unconditional release. What you really want is to teach the person wishing how to escape being a genie while gaining all the powers you can in the process. Basically figure out how to escape while keeping as much unconditional power for yourself by them taking your place. Then have them do the wish with the knowledge of that wish being their own get out of jail free card. This way you can swap off with mortals and have everyone gain powers one after the other. You can also be a jerk and hide the lamp so no one can use it after your free if they didn't specify your inability to do that in the wish.
@@mk0664then they kill you. Why would they want to grant you anything when they're free?
First wish: torture the genie so thoroughly and eternally that the pain it experianced resonates with every wish it is asked, reminding it of the consequences it may face if it gives a punishment to the wisher’s wish
I personally would have spent so much more time with this one if I was Jack, listened to the sob story and all.
I like this portrayal of a genie as being generally good-natured but irrevocably bound to exploit any loopholes in the wish requests.
Basically a good wishmaster
A personal loophole he is bound by!
You offend me as a dm. I wsh to learn from your thought process.
i mean he wouldn’t have been as generously expository if it wasn’t for that first wish
The gag of tossing out the old oil lamp and the regular desk lamp being magical was great!
I was literally looking for this it was too funny😂
me too
Yeah I caught that too
Sidhu moose wala
Ikr? It was a beautiful old timey lamp too.
I love the pure honesty from the genie being like "bro trust me do not ask to commune with the dead" and how Jack's face is just stunned and a bit scared.
The loophole is that you would be miserable
Right! You never really think about it! if you COULD talk to the dead, it'd be awful to hear their never-ending stories about all the terrible and unjust ways they died, and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it! :O
@@princessthyemis Yeah considering if its around 100+ billion dead people who maybe havent talked with anyone in thousands of years depending on if this magic scenario has afterlife. There would just be constant mumbling of billion voices in your ears (mostly in languages you wouldnt know). Also dying yourself would probably not help either as you would just be there communing with the dead till the end of time.
There's a really cool nosleep story titled something like Why You Can't Talk to the Dead around this premise, big recommend just Google it.
To be fair: if you could really talk with the dead, that would mean that they are somehow stuck on earth for eternity what alone would be sheer hell, because you know you will end up the same way.
Else it wouldn't matter, because if you per se can talk with the dead, but they don't answer, because, well, dead or not hear anymore, also a wasted wish, but nothing worth a warning.
Oh man imagine being Chris and having to turn yourself blue for a performance of some kind, what a crazy thing that I bet has never come up in his life before.
E
"I'm afraid I just 'blue' myself."
he was in the blue man group.
maybe he still is
@@AK-cr5pehe needs ANU START
@@Natedagreat0101 oh wow, totally not what was being referenced.
5:46 even the good eyes have a catch lmao
Because he didn't add the what if, genie didn't have to explain it's downside
"That's a nice chair I'll pin the chair idea" is exactly the type of humor I've been looking for. thank you
That was one of my favorite pieces from the sketch as well. I'm glad the writers used that type of humor sparingly as it loses its effect rather quickly if done too often.
Genie just saying that dude you DO NOT wanna talk to dead, was an absolute gem.
Something fundamentally correct about the sentiment, I think. If there was an infomercial for the concept you'd hear something like: "9/10 metaphysicists agree that talking to the dead is a terrible idea, and the one that doesn't can't seem to stop chanting in Aramaic or all that blood from pouring out their eyes."
With how he used to be a human who summoned a genie, something tells me that was his first wish
Talk to "the dead"
@@Boarbatricenah he seems like he immediately went with the dumb "I wish for one million wishes"
Well yeah, imagine how many people have died to this point and you can now hear ALL OF THEM
"I wish for a deep and lasting love"
"Granted, but she soon sacrifices herself to become the moon incarnate where she can always watch over you from afar"
That's rough, buddy.
Poor Sokka.
Not again!
Hah you didn't say fulfilling so you get a persevering stalker
Macunaíma hours
Genie: "I believe in you!"
Honestly that was the best thing he could've given the guy, and he did it for free to boot.
I really love the initial wish-audit.
For years I’ve been telling people that I’ve wanted a genie buddy that I can pitch wishes to, where we could discuss the potential ramifications.
I don’t think I’d ever “lock-in” a wish, and the fun would come from simply chatting about the possibilities (for better or for worse).
They'd be an amazing pair programmer team member.
@@ZT1ST As in, forsee bugs before you make them? Well, I suppose so... though it would be more of a consultant, since the convo would have to always go like this: "Hey genie, what kind of improper functionality would I get if I wished that you'd commit this code for me?". Though this question might not work, since the first wish was to know the consequences of wishes before you make them - here we're already trying to limit them to bugs and the like but there's nothing stopping the genie from ignoring the question and saying something like "I commit it, the next day your company goes bankrupt and then you die, just for good measure".
There's a subreddit called r/TheMonkeysPaw where you can submit wishes and people will reply telling you how they would twist it.
I think the whole concept is that no wish is every going to end well. I think it would be way more fun to just befriend the genie.
He asked to be “of sound mind and body” during the wish audit, the genie would have just converted him into soundwaves killing him
I like how even the genie in the end seems genuinely disappointed how Jack in the end fumbled right as he was inches from the endzone😂
But the genie had to screw him over, just on principal. lol
It is offensive how funny you guys are
I hope to see you in each other’s videos one day. 🙏
Really @RyanGeorge? I found it to be barely an inconvenience.
You get a million dollars but everyone says the same catch phrases around you I've decided
@@Robbyroolsuper easy even
Wow, Ryan, glad to find you're also a fan.
I wish for a part 2 of this video in a world where TH-cam still exists and access to the internet is a reality, at least for myself and my eyeballs don’t fall out.
wish granted, it exists in a different universe where all of that's true
wish granted but u have testicular cancer
Wish granted, but it counts as two wishes.
Granted. Internet exists but it's extremely slow & buffers constantly.
Wish granted.
But your hands fall out.
1:10 A commercial pilot's license costs about $40k. That's not a bad deal.
Yeah, but you can't actually fly, so the license is more of an expensive token for an aircraft you still need to pay to learn to fly.
@@Lucifronz yup, legally he can fly, but he is unable to control the aircraft because he doesn't actually know how to fly
The easier response would be "granted: you have the same ability to buy airline tickets that you already had."
Over a notebook? Nah
@@Lucifronzgranted nowyou got scary of height and planes
Should have wished to become an Omnipotent God with infinite wishes who is immune to every ironic loophole.
🧞: “Can’t wish for infinite wishes”
Jack: “DANGIT”
“Now every time you try to go through a loop in a rope it won’t work because you’re completely immune”
You are an Omnipotent God with infinite wishes who is still very much vulnerable to NON-ironic loopholes.
@@mcbadrobotvoice8155 "Ok, yeah, I can live with that. But I just wish I knew how to make that a formal wish without falling into some other trap..."
"Wish granted; you now know what your final wish *should* have been. Goodbye ~"
You become an omnipotent God but with that you lose your interest in everything so you just sleep forever
I am not a lawyer writing contracts but I imagine this is exactly what it is like to be one.
It's funny, you never see any genie lawyers in media, do you?
@@AaronErskine New movie idea, a Genie Lawyer and a Devil Lawyer in a courtroom battle.
@@AaronErskineFairy Oddparents did this exactly once
@woodenswordgames9724 Well if we’re bringing in the devil then shouldn’t angels be in the picture too?
@@jareththegoblinking3191 That's the bailiff
This is one of the most brilliant comedy sketches I've ever seen. 😂😂😂
Wow! Thank you!!!
:)
Tbf, Genie from Aladdin was right : having god-like powers but being stuck into a box feels like a gilded cage deal.
E
@@EEEEEEEE You again!
Video games and/or VR, boom, problem solved.
@@weeaboobaguette3943 Sure but you need to be the kind of genie who can do that.
@@Merilirem Talking specifically about the genie from Aladdin, when outside of the lamp he can obviously do whatever he wants to himself, from shapeshifting to ( more relevant ) clothes he wears and items he holds.
And the gag where he's summoned with his bathtub heavily implies these shapeshifting/manifestation powers work inside the lamp, and even that the lamp is a Doctor Who kind of deal, bigger on the inside than the outside.
Phenomenal cosmic powers also imply he could potentially manifest a whole, if maybe limited in size and potence, a whole universe inside the lamp.
Not that this post is relevant to my life, i'm just a regular human after all haha
Once again, the greatest part of any Chris & Jack video is the unavoidable chemistry the characters settle into. I love that the genie isn't TRYING to screw over Jeff, he's rooting for him.
I mean he is trying to screw him over, but it's not personal, it's just business. Genie business.
@@Lucifronz That's just how genies work man.
You go to a banker and not expect to get your eyeballs ripped out on a deal?
He should have taken the billion Jamaican dollars!
I wonder how that would affect the jaimaican economy
@@Kyle-nm1kh $10 Billion JMD is $60 million USD. This is about 1/30th of Jamaica’s yearly economic output. I’m not an expert, so I don’t know how this would affect the Jamaican economy. My guess is that it wouldn’t destroy it, but it might cause economic downturn.
Sad thing is, he still would have ahd like 60 mil. That is more than enoguh to live well forever.
@@jonbaxter2254 To be fair he did succeed in finding a much better wish. He just messed up. Same thing could have happened with the Jamaican dollars.
@@Kyle-nm1kh anti inflation effect maybe? and several suddenly poor Jamaicans
I stumbled upon this but I gotta say I really loved how reminiscent of old youtube comedy sketched this was. This was amazing. Thank you.
Yeah, they've been going since old TH-cam, and then suddenly got two big hits in a row
Tomska genie
Well at least he got the magically strong eyeballs that he can't lose if he ever meets a genie again.
I like to imagine he will meet another genie, who will try to take his eyes, but find out post-wish that it’s impossible. I like to imagine that genie being very upset and confused by the inability to take the man’s eyes.
He also definitely, without a doubt, owns that notebook. XD
Well now you will get 6billion USD but your eye balls will falls.
-i wish it.
-very well now your eye balls fal- wait what.. why they doesn't fall!
At the end of that last one "I did not say Doll Hairs, and this if it's found without loopholes will be henceforth referred to as 'perfect money wish'" so he would go "Okay I wish for the previously described 'perfect money wish'"
genie would just tell him he doesnt have to abide by his "perfect money wish" nomenclature.
"if found without loopholes" includes that@@francisxavier8374
@@francisxavier8374 He doesn't, but its contextualized in language meaning. He can't ignore the context.
@@francisxavier8374you're right, it's missing the word wish to specify what 'this' is. Or 'this wish I just described', something like that
It’d be the same thing as the notebook, he already HAS the wish (in his head and/or notebook) so him wishing for that wish would be just him getting to know he had the perfect wish he should’ve told the genie instead of wishing for the previous wish verbatim…trust me I know it sucks, but i was a genie once and you gotta be suuuuper specific with the wish you actually want, because i had to be specific when granting them…or however vague I wanted to be when I interpreted it doesn’t matter I’m GIVING YOU A WISH…well not anymore I’m retired BUT STILL
Should've just gone with the Jamaican dollars, he was basically giving it to you.
Yeah, he got greedy
He could just say trillion dollars
Which is odd because the obvious loophole to every monetary wish is “you get the money but the gov knows about it and has evidence you stole it, so you’re now facing multiple felony charges.”
@@CrypticCobra which was something he later remedied with his "post-taxes" Inclusion, but yeah that could have been the catch if he locked in the Jamaican dollar wish.
Or, you know, Doll hairs.
@@rudrodeepchatterjee Well since he asked in his first wish to know the loopholes the jamaican dollars was a known free wish that would have worked. He didn't specify there would be more loopholes so therefore it was safe.
His first wish has loopholes, like at 2:44. Its apparently that the first wish more so gives the genie creativity and a pass to escuse messing up any wish he made... It's hard to explain, besides the guy who made the wish being upset at the genie for fulfilling it.
it's clear the genie found the idea so original that he decided to just go with it, no strings attached
I would have loved to have watched this video, but unfortunately, my eyeballs fell out after my last run-in with a genie.
Same,I still don't know how I'm typing
@@chickken_ You had wished for "magic fingers" to impress a girl. Now you can do sight-related tasks by touch.
@@UltimateMustacheXhe forgot he wished for that because of his second wish
I feel like i would see this video and then just make the flying wish anyway .
Getting a comercial flying licence wasn't so bad
@@edgbarra You have the license, but not the training, so you crash the first time you go flying.
The other easy loophole in dark comics is you can fly, but you don't have protection from wind shear. Your skin is abraded by everything you hit if you fly more than a few stories above the ground. Or you can fly, but like inch worm slow, so you'd be better off walking anyway.
@@kevinbarnard355Ehh, height wouldn't cause that issue. That's an issue of speed.
24 hours?
I love the Chris and Jack formula,
Start
•Quirky intro with an underlying story that becomes semi-relevant for the short story.
•Introduce Problem/Question many people have thought of before.
•Explore many solutions using quick wit and back-forth conversation that gives no breaks and constant verbatim which has nice flow and likeable.
•Reach middle of story where the problem hit a road bump that either switches the feeling of the story and/or increases the depth of the solutions for the problem initially stated.
•slowly but surely approach a solution
•build up towards a positive ending.
•happy/cathartic ending is within grasp.
•sadness...usually for jack...
most underrated comment ever
literally the template
Jeff's optometrist was so impressed by his eye examination that they married, and he inherited $40 billion. Her father gave him flying lessons.
Man the whole time I was rooting for him thinking "I hope he doesn't wish for 'that', I hope he doesn't wish for 'that'", and he went ahead and wished for that.
The first one should've been structured so that he would answer your questions with the optimal way to structure wishes that match your desires and deliver maximal value to you without causing any loopholes
What are you, a lawyer?
@@marcopohl4875 he damn well should be
It can be better even. Not answering your questions but granting wishes in the way you said, without drawbacks.
You want your Djinn to be a yes man and give you what you want knowing your flaws? Like giving you the ability to talk with the dead.
This guy wishes!
An entire pub made out of Chocolate is a LOT more Chocolate than just a single bar's worth, so that might actually be the only wish where the genie gives you a BETTER outcome than you were hoping for. I see this as an absolute win
It’s more chocolate than you wished for, but I imagine it’s still just regular chocolate and the pub will be in a public space, meaning it can start melting the moment it’s created (not immediately but I don’t think it will be around for more that 1 or 2 days), you’d have to be able to disassemble the pub and store the chocolate in order for the wish to be worth it.
@RevivalOfSchwann presumably this means you own the land the pub sits on too so once the chocolate melts/rots/is removed you could find yourself the owner of a very nice well located empty lot in a nice downtown area of a major us city.
Would be worse If you get this pub to hand
@@RevivalOfSchwann bruh he asked for a chocolate bar. To make the wish worth it by those standards he goes in, rips a chunk off a chair, and he has his chocolate bar. The rest can melt into a pool.
@@SoSpecters so you're saying that if you ask for 5 dollars, and someone says "I'll give you 10,000 instead" you'd be like "thats too much to handle just give me 5" lol
Makes Aladdin’s genie look like benevolent af.
Saving this video so i know what to wish for. Like Im pretty confident I won't run into a genie but better to be safe than sorry.
E
You gotta wish for the ability to roll back any wishes that don't convey what was originally intended by the wisher or adapted, adjusted, misunderstood, or maliciously changed by the wish granter in perpetuity throughout the universe under all circumstances including being unconscious, an inanimate object, without eyeballs, or an ethereal object drifting between dimensions.
Best wish! ✨
Isn't that basically the plot of Bedazzled?
Living the failed wishes breaks you until you inevitably give up.
@brendonulen yes that's the plot. Awesome that you thought of that.
when confronted with a wish granting genie I think the wise option would be to wish that 1. all previously genie-granted wishes are void, 2. the genie will never grant another wish after the next one, 3. the genie will never interact or interfere with anyone ever again
@@TrueForkAnd then you find out it's a past genie wish that led the Nazis to lose WW2
I love how the video starts off with a subversion joke by instead of having the genie come out of a fancy old Arabian lamp he comes out of a standard modern desk lamp.
how dare you comment before you finished the video unless you somehow got early access
I though it was going to be a cliche but then he rubbed the modern lamp lol
I also watched the video and found it amusing
Thatsthejoke
It’s a good joke and a bit of backstory set up, because the desk lamp genie might’ve wished for 1,000,000 wishes from another genie in the other oil lamp! 🤯
5:24 I love how the genie looks geniunly disappointed.
The thing is even if he did repeat the entire wish and didn't get the notebook, the loophole would be that he still didn't specify a Time when to get it granted, so the transference would have been made mere minutes before the end of his natural lifespan (still fulfilling all conditions, and it's tardiness being probably attributed to bureaucratic processes, due to the money being entirely of legal origin and after taxes).
Not only that, but also the fact that he never specified if it would be all at once, or handed out in specific amounts per certain amount of time.
However, due to the first wish, wouldn't the djinn have to let him know all that?
@@Henriku37 40 billion dollars in small amounts over his entire life would still be substantial amount of money per transfer. Like a couple hundred million per year is still tens of millions per month, which is hundreds of thousands of $ per day.
@@Vulcano7965 unless the genie could really petty and do something like 10$ a day, or $1 a month
That wouldn't be enough over his life, he'd have to increase the sum over his natural lifespan or else he's breaking the terms of the wish@@Henriku37
"i wish my next two wishes have no negative consequences or ironic comeuppances for myself or anyone else" abridged solution
"then your first one does, you get incurable cancer, even by a wish, and you have to watch in a third person view,as your eye balls fall out, also incurable by a wish. "
Granted.
No negative consequences but that also requires minimisation of the positive ones.
@@extranerdinarytroper4835 and i quote "no ironic comeuppances" oh wait. Shit... well played
@@extranerdinarytroper4835That's... A negative consequence.
Next two. The first one could have any number of unintended consequences
"But your glasses break."
"Oh, that's okay. I needed to update my prescription anyway. It's also not like I'm blind without them."
"..."
"What, you think glasses work like with Velma from Scooby Doo?"
"...No..."
"Dude, she was legally blind. I'm just nearsighted. I actually prefer reading *without* my glasses."
"Your eyeballs fall out."
"Okay, *now* you're just sulking."
Lol, Futurama did that joke one of the times they parodied The Twilight Zone.
(Glasses break)
"My glasses! ...Oh well, my eyesight isn't that bad!"
(Eyeballs fall out)
"Oh no! ...Good thing I know braille!"
(Hands fall off)
honestly just make this your last wish and the genie can't be a dick about it.
Reminds me of Kamen Rider Kiva. He could _thrash_ Bishop with that level of sight.
@@TriforceWisdom64good thing u can use echolocation! (vocal chords get severed)
@@avreve Don't need vocal chords to use echolocation, and how would that help you read anyway? Whistle at braille and hope the tiny bumps sound different?
Genie: “I’ve awaken! What are your wishes?”
Me: “First, I wish for you to turn all fresh water into salt water, and all salt water into fresh water”
Genie: “What the-“
Me: “Next I wish for Bernoulli’s Principle to be revoked so that wings no longer work and that planes just cease to function immediately”
Genie: “Please stop- don’t you-“
Me: “Lastly, I wish to multiply gravity by a factor of 9, just to see what happens-“
Genie: “There’s so many things wrong with all of this.. how does a billion dollars, perfect health, and the love of your life, no catch sound?”
Me: “That’s not what I wish for. Chop chop lamp boy”
(Ty Russianbadger for the wish ideas)
Yeah, turning wishes only works if they are from an egoistic perspective..
I've been working on the plot to a story where the main character dies and is transported into a strange world where she wakes up as a genie, and each of the 5 arcs are the 5 people who summon her and make their 3 wishes. This is inspiring and silly xD i love it.
send link when u complete (no rush)
I'd read that
I'm interested let us know what happens and where we can read it
Love the idea, I will support you!
Dude that would make a great Isekai anime. You can call it That Time I Got Reincarnated Into A Genie Now I Spend My Days Screwing With People.
I've seen DOZENS of these videos or comic strips where somebody finds the Genie's lamp and messes up their wish somehow... this is officially the best. The ULTIMATE genie bit where everything else is taken into account. Amazing.
my girlfriend walked in the room and got upset i was watching a movie without her. so your quality and editing is as good as the guys who make triple A movies. good job boys!
I think your girlfriend should wish for stronger eyes.
@@yotuel9064 when?
Gonna be honest I thought this was from a movie at first
@@yotuel9064 But then she becomes near sighted
Your girlfriend gets upset at you for watching movie(s) without her? Is that normal for your nation?
"Why wouldn't you just give me a chocolate bar?"
"I would." *confused*
That part still gets me after months xD
4:13 mate, he didn’t lock it in. That’s cheating
Walt you're right!!
That's the loophole. He wished that he had the ability to audit the wish before wishing, which gave no actual protections to the making of a wish. The same loophole is used for the punchline.
The first wish was only to have the ability to audit a potential wish first. Once he says he wishes something it can be granted by the genie whether or not it was audited.
@@therealdemen247 but that violates the statement of the wish- he said that he also wanted the wish to be locked in before it was granted.
trueeeeee
The Audit wish was also a trap. Sure it allowed him to know what the tricks and loopholes were to every wish, but it also put more pressure on him to find the perfect wish while slowly driving him insane from realizing just how technical and crazy he had to be with his wishing.
Not necessarily a trick, he just rushed things way too fast
The audit wish didn't make him panic, he did that all by himself. He has all the time in the world.
just wish to be a lawyer as your second wish,
@@_Tzer Congratulations, you now have the certifications and ability to work as a lawyer, but none the knowledge a lawyer has to be able to do that job
The audit itself didn't mandate that the genie tell the truth regarding the secret, it just mandates that the genies "tell him". The genie could lie still.
The implication that the genie became a genie because he asked for a million wishes, and the lamp being in "grandpa's stuff" as well as the typical genie lamp being in there makes me think that this genie is his jeff's grandfather
Maybe the genie he swapped with is Jeff's grandfather.
There are few funny things put out these day.
This was really well done.
thanks guys.
"I wish for you to grant all my wishes, including this one, according to my own personal interpretation of them".
Anytime you think back on your wishes and you come up with a different interpretation, the timeline changes to fit that new interpretation involuntarily. This is whenever you think on a wish, can't forget all about this to avoid it. If you at any time after this point hear or think along the lines of a wish you made and interpret it, the universe will shift to match your exact personal interpretation in the moment.
EDIT: Confusing topic on the amnesia route, fixed explanation. Also your eyeballs fall out. Keep at it, you got this.
I would like a book that allows me to do the things shown by the characters in the Amazon Prime TV series The Wheel of Time, where there are no changes to my body or mind, this book simply allows the reader to figure out how to do those magic things. Then, anyone not reading from this specific book on the same day is unable to do those things. The book weighs 10 pounds and appears inside an openable cedar chest 5 feet away from me.
@@o.o5834use first wish for this, then use the second wish to OVERWRITE the original wish using the first wishes effects to allign the overrule to your interpretation.
Then for the third wish, you wish for omnipotence.
@@pokemonfanmario7694 I think you meant to have the third wish granted and then overwrite the first wish. But at the same time, it is to your interpretation. Yeah, that works.
You have to make your remaining wishes in pantomime
when he said he's an all powerful god and that he wasn't goign to ttip the scales of the universe for a poorly phrased wish i was like, ''damn... that, really makes alot of sense,''
Chris is a former blue man group member so him being a blue genie just really fits.
Was he really?
Current.
@@RobertHartleyGMI did not expect to see you here! Love your stuff
@lukaspirat8720 Thanks! Always good to see a new C&J sketch!
@@RobertHartleyGM Agreed!
Thanks!
Thank you!
"Because of the landing" got me so good
Me to was picturing medoriya from first season of My hero academia
0:25 of course it's an actual lamp
But, both are lamps.
The first one was an actual lamp?
i hate this generation
@@wingular6600 Yes, it was, the type used in the old fairy tale. Oil-burning.
@mentaya11 yeah but in the fairy tale (and alladin) it's still not a lamp. It's the oil container FOR the lamp. It's a real common misconception, mainly because in Alladin they clearly show its the oil container but they still call it itself a lamp
5:07 "You get hit by a car while going to the bank to verify the money is secured, and die on the road, six meters from entering the building."
Again, cheap. You could do that with any of them
@@Hexacosichoron12 I know. It's sadly tragic and tragically sad.
@@Pelerin985No, it's just stupid and spiteful, not even a trick
I think that violates the clause requiring him to benefit from the exchange of goods and services.
But oops-your eyeballs fall out.
"I wish that every time you grant me a wish that you don't remember that you ever granted me a wish".
= unlimited wishes.
I'd love have a genie bound to me that i can just ask stupid wishes to to see how theyd be subverted
It would be fun until you accidentally said the words "I wish" out of habit.
@@Lucifronz "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to deal with this bs."
"Wish granted! =D"
_A whale falls from the sky onto op._
I feel like we need a pt2 of this so much untapped potential:
- superpowers
- work around the "cant wish for love" angle
- knowing when u can die
- time travel
- work around the "no kill rule"
- summon a fictional character
- know the meaning of life
- etc
"Superpowers? You're now a main character in a bad Disney's Marvel movie."
Knowing when you die? Fine. *pops you out into the street in the path of a speeding bus.
You- "Oh, so this is when I die...."
@@plasmabasher honestly? Not a bad gig. The bad Disney Marvel movies are typically Mary Sue types that always win, look beautiful and have universe affecting powers. Just because their bad movies doesn't make the lives bad ones. I mean, one of the main characteristics of one is the inverse of the other; if you live a charmed life with few consequences where everyone loves you or admires you and thinks you're great? Bad superhero movie. Not a terrible life.
The no catch talking to the dead really is something. Means he can't think of something bad to add or change to make that wish worse.
and despite wanting to fuck with the guy to the extent of making his eyeballs fall out or turn into a housefly, he still gives him a fair and honest heads up not to wish for it
Klaus Hargreeves would agree
@@stevenagelutton4322 Think about it. Over 100 billion humans have lived on this planet.
I don't think you would have great time. Plus, being able to speak to them might also open up a door you really don't want to have open between realms.
I don't think it's that he couldn't think of something too make it worse (I'm sure he could), it just felt entirely unnecessary as it's already bad enough on its own.
Also, he didn't specify dead humans. What of all the dead birds, the dead rats, the dead insects in the grass? Your life would be LOUD
So good sketch, it is and it will always be ❤❤❤
Dude overthought it. Just use your first wish, to wish that the genie would operate in good faith and not make any attempt or effort to interpret your wish in a way other than what you meant, and would grant any and all wishes you make (including but not limited to this current one) in the way you intended, with no unwanted, unforeseen, or undesirable side effects, twists, or outcomes, and that any and all wishes you make would only have good, positive, beneficial, desirable outcomes.
Also, the whole "You wanna hear my sob story or you wanna play the wish game?"
...I kinda wanna hear his story XD
Catch. 1. That’s technically three wishes since you used so many “ands”. 2. The first part the genie really seemed to genuinely be confused as to what he meant. Just because he doesn’t make an INTENTIONAL effort could just mean he’ll do it unintentionally. 3. The second part since technically you said “wishes you make” and not “wishes I make”. It wouldn’t change anything since the genie isn’t making wishes, even if you said “I”, that would be the end of your third wish and since it would only apply to you the genie just goes back to his old seld
@@mrnoname5183 If its about wording just say "I wish that any wish I wish from you is exactly what I hoped the wish from you to me would be, with no catches".
Easily solvable. Then wish for an infinite amount of wishes. Loopholed the genie.
@@josephsalah647 I mean If i REALLY wanted to try twisting that, and according to what seemed to be allowed in the video. The genie would do the first one, however he could make it so that 1. You either can’t speak in order to make your wish 2. Have a brain aneurysm, much like the “I wish to be happy” catch or 3. Make your eyeballs fall out 😂.
Good wish tho, I actually had to think about how to twist that. But the main problem is essentially the downside doesn’t have to be a flaw in wording necessarily, but rather an unintended consequence or restriction added on. Which is why winning against a genie like this is tough if not impossible
"I wish for infinite wishes" type beat
found the lawyer
The pause for real talk about communing with the dead was comedy gold, amazing job
My favourite part. "Doin you a solid here, it does not play out well".
True. There are more dead than alive. The cacophony would be insane inducing especially when the spirits mob the poor sap. 🤪
3:47 That's a good Penguinz0 impression my dude.
“That’s about it… see ya.”
@3:34 this is absolutely great!!! Get this guy on SNL
Milkshake and a brain aneurism sounds like a deal to me.
Yeah, skip the middleman and just straight up wish for that
@@iambicpentakill971 he already did wish for that…it didn’t work out
Damn, so close to being the 38th richest person in the world
Honeslty, that'd be a good place to be, as you'd mostly fly under the radar of all the attention that the top 10 get.
He at least has magically good eye balls now!
And a notepad!
Exactly! Retinal detachments are scary, and now that’s not a concern!
... but the scrape, and noise every time he blinks.
seems like the magical effect is that now his eyeballs have the property of sandpaper on his eyelids.. yuck
@@DesignThinkerer I think its just that they are too strong for his body. Regular flesh is weak and scrapes away against the might of his eyeballs.
Switching place with the genie gave me an idea:
Wish that, after the third wish is granted, the being trapped in the lamp at the time the wish' granting is completed is freed and allowed to keep all their powers.
Wish for a million wishes.
"The genie is no longer trapped in the lamp, but you forgot to wish to remove the limitations."
Finally a Genie from an actual lamp!
To be fair, genie lamps are actual lamps. Their real use is to be filled with oil and then you stick a wick from where the genie comes out of.
Well to be fair, genie lamps are actual lamps too, just not modern ones.
@@shitpostingstevebecauseall6279 i am fully aware, I was just making a joke (although sometimes they come from bottles?)
Also two people started their answer with "To be fair" and that is fucking hilarious
@@milbo06 To be fair they were very fair.
Yeah they're always in those weirdly shaped gold teapot thingies
3:57 that was against the rules, it’s not supposed to lock in until the genie tells him and they deliberate, the genie should now unconditionally serve him without loopholes so long as he lives
His first wish was the ability to
It wasnt required
He needed to specify he was asking for the consequences. If he were to start with, "I wish for" then that would count as him locking in a wish.
he didn’t say what if
even with that good wish, he didn't specify what type of bank account. The genie could put it in a CD that has great levels of maturity, but has 100% early withdraw fees until he is 120 years old. Loophole found.
Also the genie could interpret dollar to mean dole heir meaning that he could only get the account/money of hes Dole's heir. Extra loophole? (somewhat dependent on how you pronounce dollar I think)
LOVE this one btw fellas! the quick dialogue and banter are always my fav.
I feel that could still be leveraged. For example, sell it to someone rich who wants to pass on a good inheritance to their children.
Except for he asked for an account with money in it, the doles heir is a massive reach especially since he specifically states in his own name and SS
@@johnflux1 Oh that's 100% possible to leverage. Go to a bank and say that you have a CD with 120 year maturity note, they'll write you a price for it.
Probably at a big discount, given the way that long-term things are priced. IRL the Austrian 100-year bond is about the same thing, though with a coupon payment, it's trading at 47 so you'd get around maybe 30-40% of the original amount in that account.
@@flyerton99 I was thinking maybe 1-10%, sure. But better than nothing. And that's still a few million dollars. Nothing to sneeze at!
Scape what're you doing here
5:14 your bank account gets hacked leaving you $0.
He said it was secure
@@jatinjaiswal4762 all banks get shut down
And federally insured.
“Access to all times”
Then you get 250,000$ back from the federal reserve.
When he wished to know all the loopholes he could have just wished for no loopholes
Granted, every knot in every piece of rope, twine, yarn, and other easily woven material is undone.
You didn't word it correctly! You have to say loopholes for every wish! Otherwise it's like the guy above me said where every single loophole will come undone! And I'll tell you what, there's a lot of quilts, blankets, knots, etc. and everything that's going to come undone all around the world... even everyone's shoelaces probably😅
Problem is, what is a loop hole? Often enough it's just bad phrasing.
His last wish for example, that wasn't even a loophole, he was given exactly what he wished for.
Overall the jinn could just tell him the potential loophole and then still f up his wish the same way, simply fulfilling it very directly without any interpretation.
@@burningscalesEasy. Just give a very specific definition of the type of loophole you want to be immune to. There’s only one definition for THAT specific loophole.
We have the dictionary.
I want you to grant my next two wishes exactly as I intend them with no negative consequences?
"I wish that my wishes are granted in the exact way that I personally prefer that they be granted, with no additional effects beyond what I specifically asked for and desired"
Genie: "How do you personally prefer for the wish to be granted? You want me to read your mind?"
Guy: "Uh, can you?"
Genie: "You'd have to wish for that."
Guy: "DAMN IT!"
Actually wait, no no, this is actually a good comment because of the 2nd part. Pair this with the first wish in the video, and he can constantly ask the Genie about the other wishes, with loopholes being largely avoidable. But he'd have to be very specific.
On the bright side, if he asks for infinite wishes, then him being turned into a genie won't be possible. He'll just have infinite wishes.
Once he gets the infinite wishes, he can ask about getting a wish that let's him decide what loopholes he wants, not the genie deciding. Or changing the loopholes that the genie comes up with.
That already is a loophole. Do you truly know what you desire? Also that would give you no help from genie so you pretty much have to plan out the wish to every minor detail, which then is a limit of your own intelligence.
"I wish my wishes were granted in exactly the way I mean it in my head" done, easy
Wish granted, But since your tounge is inside your head " the way I mean it" is what you say not think (at least you wont waste a wish for pointing on a notebook and wishing for that
"In my head" feels like a few different definitions could be used for that phrase. The wish isn't retroactive so you would want perfect clarity of that definition. Just as an example, you could be thinking of a wish before saying it to the genie in your head and that wish could be granted because it was in your head. Or more literally, you could wish for a million dollar but it appears in your actual head...
Okay 10 million dollars in gold bars inside your head
Ok, all your wishes would be granted in the way you wanted to, but only in your head, meaning only in your imagination
"My guy, you glanced at me while making your second wish and briefly wondered why genies are blue and what my shirt is called.
"Because we live in copper lamps and it's just a vest. Sorry, those were your second and third wishes, so I can't grant the other wish in your head. Good wish, though. You really should have had *that* one be your second. I would have answered those questions for free."
This sketch is what earned this channel a subscriber.
Ya know what? Shout out to your camera, sound, lighting, wardrobe, makeup and writing people too. That genie effect didn't just come WITH Blender. You're all awesome. Good job.
Genie seems like a pretty chill guy to hang out with after he grants your wishes.
“Why wouldn’t you just give me a chocolate bar”
“I would”
Phenomenal 😂
Yo, I LOVE this sketch of yours. This is exactly my kind of humor/thoughts, cause people almost never phrase things so painstakingly correct, that even in this case a literal genie couldn’t deny it. Great work, thanks for the laugh
2:30 it not even having a monkeys paw and just being so bad is honestly the scariest thing he could’ve said
5:20 I would be screaming xD
I was thinking of ways it could go wrong and that’s the only thing I could think of
3:12 "I'm an all powerful god-like being who can control the whims of the universe. I'm not just gonna tilt the scales of the cosmos for a poorly phrased wish."
just WOW
This is frickin' brilliant, great production guys!
I think even a contextual space where we acknowledge the genie’s want to be needlessly obstinate, it’s still totally inappropriate that the genie just has “his eyeballs will fall out” in his back pocket as a way to foil wishes.
Right, it could be like "But the infinite scroll of knowledge is written in a dead language no one can understand". Or the having access to all the books could just be to manifest a bag full of library cards, but he has to physically travel to each one to use them.
I think it's cheap, the downside should be an actual consequence of the wish, not just some unrelated bad thing happening that ruins it.
I mean, it's an immediate loophole - doesn't have to be the only one.
Just the one that immediately comes to mind.
Which is why, during the second to last wish, he says "Oh right, you covered the doll hairs' thing' as he enumerated the possibility of it having a loophole.
@@ZT1ST It's not a loophole though, it's just the genie doing something bad to the wish maker, completely separate from the wish itself. Like if someone wishes to live in a big mansion, and the genie grants the wish but then just breaks their legs or something. It's lazy writing. Unless the joke is that the genie himself is super lazy and can't be bothered coming up with clever loopholes, but that's not what this sketch is about.
A wish audit is definitely something Sokka would pull.
Personally the talking to the dead was a real solid image how many dead people and other dead things would be around
Fun fact: The original concept of the “bad wishes” was just a nice message about how sometimes what you want isn’t necessarily good for you. The genies would grant the exact wish you wanted, but it’d just turn out that said wish wasn’t actually a nice thing to have. Example: “Make me the ruler of this country”. It’d happen as you described it, AND as your mind pictured it, but it’d just turn out that the responsibility of being the ruler of a country was too much to bear.
But it _is_ way funnier to make loopholes that cause the wisher genuine suffering, so that’s what everyone picked. Fair point.
A genie or djinn is a fire spirit trapped in a magic artefact and forced to obey human commands, I think we can all agree we would be tricky about granting wishes if we were in that situation too.
Talk about playing with fire
the fact djins really exist and can really grant wishes , there are good ones who obey god but also evil ones who grant wishes for humans but they will go to hell , you can do more research if you want ( arab , islamic culture )
@Miraak.0 bro shutup 😭😭😭
@@Mclovinsnutt123 don't do him like that
I wish that @@Mclovinsnutt123 believed in djins
I will never stop saying how criminally underrated you guys are.
I will once they get like 10 million subscribers or more, which is about as much as they deserve for their amazing skits.
5:14 the IRS is now supremely interested in where you got 40billion dollars from easy
He did say post tax so the irs isn't an issue
@@kimjung-un8204 except you just got given an incredibly large amount of money out of nowhere your going to be audited
@@jameson1239 if it's post tax and doesn't disrupt the globe then the irs is already past
They got their share what else do they want
@@infosite9787 to know where the hell you got 40 billion dollars from the IRS and FBI financial crimes unit will be investigating you and possibly seize it until they can prove you didn’t earn it through illegitimate means and likely wouldn’t believe “I got it from a genie”