How To Determine If You Are In Limerence @Relearning Relationships

How do you determine if you are in limerence?.
Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one’s feelings reciprocated; but not primarily just for a sexual relationship.
Limerence is considered an emotional state of being emotionally attached to,
or even obsessed with, another person.
It’s typically experienced involuntarily, and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one’s feelings-a near-obsessive form of romantic love
So, in a nutshell, limerence wants to obtain something for itself, it’s pleasures and benefits but true and love wants to give selflessly, which often requires sacrifice, effort, patience and time.
1. obsessive thoughts about your partner:
- spending more time thinking about her/ him, mire than anything else, including work, responsibilities, friends, family and Or other duties. You can’t get them out of your head even if you try and distract yourself. (Codependency, low self esteem, unhealed R or C trauma.
- You fantasise about spending your life with him/ her despite barely knowing them. This includes wanting to do anything for them such as ( fixing them, Saving them from their problems).
- You have lustful thoughts about him/ her that increase overtime.
- You find yourself daydreaming about him/ her about situations where he/ she reciprocates the same level of interest.
- you find yourself obsessing over anything he or she says or does wether it be negative, positive or neutral.
2. Emotional dependence.
- strong feelings of depression, insecurity and uncertainty when you are away from him/ her.
- When he/ she shows interest in you this causes feelings of ecstasy and euphoria. Feeling like you can’t live without him/ her.( no different than a drug addict taking a hit) it’s like a dug to you.
- Longing and yearning for reciprocation in regards to the status of his/ her feelings 24/7 and you become hyper focused on the nuances of his/ her lifestyle and daily habits looking for cues to figure out their interest level. ( they take a little longer to Text back, they tell you they’re busy).
- You constantly make yourself available to him/ her due to obsession and neediness.
3. Projecting your fantasy:
- you say things like “you are perfect” or “flawless”, “ I want to spend my life with you” “I will never leave you” all the time, despite the fact that you know deep down that no one is perfect. You think they are the "one".
- You put him/ her on a pedestal and obsess over them. You idealise everything they say and do.
- You overlook and willingly ignore red flags.
4. Impaired functioning.
- your other relationships and friendships become less important as you are preoccupied with him/ her.
- you change your daily habits, routine and lifestyle just to appease him/ her.
- you have severe mood swings of euphoria when around him/ her or when away from him/ her you feel miserable, lonely and unable to function. This can affect your ability to focus on your career, studies, sleep and your self esteem.
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@Relearning Relationships

[@DiLLyi]

my ex whom ive been with for 17 years completely inlove with and obsessed with eachother.. fell in limerence with his younger coworker as she was going through a breakup and he was trying to be there for her. he ended up emotionally cheating on me for 6 months in which he established a relationship with her and dumped me later. it hurts but i know its his insecurities and his ego getting stroked by a new woman. she literally advised him to dump me and he obliged.. atleast now i know the kind of man he is.. I'm fiercely loyal and that's what i want in a man

[@ronjones2435]

Me too

[@allthingshigh]

The Universe has blessed me with answers once again. Another puzzle piece to this insane ride. I was finally ready for the truth and had been asking for decades. The Universe saw I was ready and has been dropping truth bombs left and right over the last year. It has been incredible and I thank you for the lessons.

[@charmedprince]

Yes, this exactly happened to me. The only good (best) thing I learned was I got to see how empty my life was. Now I am more aware of what I need to develop within myself. My L.O. was an angel. I'm just sorry she ended up sort of a victim of the whole thing. I wish I could say sorry for putting her in that situation but I'm sure she's mature enough to forget the whole thing. If we meet up again someday, I'll tell her sorry. Not in a limerent way, but sorry that she had to be the person who ended up as my limerent object.

[@kp-zm1wp]

Great content, Christian! New subscriber. Hope your channel grows! Video suggestion: It'd be cool to see you make a video on the list of things men should be doing to screen out and test women. For example, not moving in with a women, getting to know her for several years. If she's a thot and permiscuous, she is unlikely to wait and more likely to rush for marriage. Over time you can see how she's like on her low days and check her behavior. Check if she is consistently loyal, submissive and feminine.

[@RelearningRelationships]

I can do a video on a few simple tests you can make and questions you can ask her that can give you some insight. Keep in mind, behaviour and actions are the truest indicator of her attraction, respect and faithfulness.

[@RelearningRelationships]

Thank you for your support! I’m glad you enjoy the content :)

[@lauracantone2459]

Just seeing this today. My husband had this in 2012. His life was low, without a heart transplant he was terminal. Went limerence for one of his nurses. The relationship only lasted 3 months. But he was definitely everything in this talk. Exactly. This is the best explanation I have heard. What resonated was love is giving limerence is selfish. , That how I now will explain it to people.

[@KJ-pu8dw]

People who have been in narcissistic relationships often describe being Love Bombed by the partner who later turned out to be abusive.
Do narcissists actually fall into limerence with the object of what will become the person they will abuse?

[@RelearningRelationships]

No. Narcissists don’t have the emotional capacity to care about others.

[@danika9448]

It’s probably vice versa. People become limerant over a narcissistic person - I certainly have. In fact, a narcissist can be the perfect limerant object due to the inconsistency.
Being limerant (ie. In illusion) is also one of the only ways to stay attached to a narcissist over a period of time… You have to lie to yourself to make the unacceptable treatment acceptable, the rose-tinted glasses enable you to stay in a dead-end situation.

[@zippyblessed839]

Thank God im watching this video now.

[@THUNDER-kw3wq]

Thank goddd its not limerance ! Thank you

[@skyefrew7750]

wow!!!! :O thank you

[@ALion-kh6fn]

Sorry, I am delayed my commend on Your presentation, honestly I say,, is outstanding, So thank You. I would go back time to time , to check what is new. By the way, this state of mind "limerence is well documented thousand years ago, altough not by this name. Old times King Salomon wrote Provers 13:12, that " Expectations postponed makes the heart sick", Even King David did have Jonathan as friend of His hearth, and lamentated after His death very Heartfeld words. 1Samuelsbook 1:25,26.,.

[@melaniep4913]

Some examples you mention seems like anxious attachment style. Im not sure it has anything to do with limerence. Its all very confusing.

[@ALion-kh6fn]

Sorry " Limerence" is a right word I think. You see already blind.