Like the college posters that say “Jack and Jill are drinking at a party, Jill cannot consent” or “Teach your sons consent” the connotation is always one sided. Glad to see some of this is changing now.
Try living in Australia. Every poster is about how many women get abused. If you go on the government website. If you click on the female tab it’s how you can escape an abusive relationship, if you click on the male tab. It’s all about how you can stop abusing women. Seriously I hate this country so much.
My older sister (I'll call her Karen) used to abuse her husband and laugh about it to her friends (they were all just like her, you know the peaked in high school type girls) He was too nice of a guy to strike back and too embarrassed to report her so I called his sister. Long story short, Karen stopped her crap
As a woman, I feel so sad and angry that men are not helped when they need it. No one should be abused, not woman, children or men. There are no doubts that there are women who are simply nut-jobs and think nothing of abusing the men in their lives, be it physical, mental, trapping men with pregnancy, or stalking. Men need the support too and I hope that society starts to realize that their mental health during the abuse is just as bad as any physical abuse, if not more. I advocate for men's rights. They need to be heard.
It's depressing that the general consensus of scholars view the men's rights movement as anti-woman, toxic and misogynistic when in reality, it has nothing to do with that at all. We just want to be heard as the human beings that we are and treated with the same dignity as western women are. We're not made of stone and women are just as able to abuse a man as a man a woman; Courtney Clenny is evidence of this.
@@sd4055 Please tell your feminist sisters that it's not only about them. That both genders matter. That western men aren't as privileged as they were brainwashed to think.
I first became aware of the issue in college, which shows how quiet it's kept. My professor ran a women's shelter and spoke about how difficult it was to help the *one* man and his kids. Drugs and alcohol were involved and the only reason he reached out was because he had no family and money. She was the reason he lost his job and the last straw was when she tried to go after the kids. It took a little finessing, but they ended up in a safe place. Just imagine if the system had to provide for more than the one man who reached out for help
Ex mentally abused me and then tried to play victim post breakup after realizing she was too toxic to even be friends with. It eventually caught up to her as she kept getting dumped by men and I fixed myself up and am in a happy relationship over a year strong. Her closest friends knew what was up and took my side as well as her family in the end.
for anyone wondering "why didnt these guys just hit back/defend themselves?" the answer is quite simple: if he hits back, the woman can easily spin the narrative into one where the roles are reversed, especially since people who abuse their partners seem to often be manipulative to the ones around them (not just their intimate partners). the victim could easily get into a world of trouble. if he defended himself and this was in a loud fight, the woman could do the same as in the first scenario but claim rape or something similar. since there would be hypothetically little to no harm from the incident on either of them, the only sign that anything happened would be neighbor witness to a loud fight. in that case, the police and anyone involved has a much higher chance of believing the woman rather than the man. and since rape doesnt necessarily include any physical damage, it would be easily believed and the man would, again, probably get into a buttload of trouble. if youre in this type of situation, pease try to get out safely. and i mean that particular abusive situation but also the relationship entirely.
@@boxinabox6608 maybe? idk, i dont think that would really work if the majority of the community around the couple was on the abusers side already. like if he narrative is already "me vs. my partner", saying the other person (the abuser) is dumb would probably just strengthen that narrative and since its not a very concrete argument to make others stop supporting the abuser, it would possibly just worsen the situation, if it would do anything at all. i have no experience either tho, im just speculating.
@@boxinabox6608 like the abuser could probably use that statement to further strengthen their argument that "my partner is the abusive one and is trying to cause me defamation/manipulate me" etc.
As a man who suffered abuse, I found myself shunned by most of my social circle because my ex made a bunch of false accusation against me to them. Women are always considered the victim and men the aggressor. The sexism is real.
Remember, folks, it's not just men being targeted by women that get ignored. Men being targeted in general tend to get ignored. As a personal example, I was r**ed by an unknown man while I was homeless 2000 miles from my home city. Police reports were filed, to no avail. I had to fight to even file the report. I went to a doctor to ask them to collect samples (he finished in me, and I hadn't even had the ability to shower yet, so I figured there might be evidence still. I was told to leave the doctor's office, under threat of cops, for trespassing. Even some of the friends I had made didn't believe me, or worse called me a fa**ot for it. I was not wandering around looking to hook up with people, I was asleep on the roof of a pizza place. I wasn't asking for it, I was woken up to a knife against my throat. Any race, religion, gender, ANYONE can be abusive, not just men. Any and all people who come to you and confide something that personal should be taken seriously. Edit: I'm going to put a reply I gave to Rebecca here, because I feel it applies to a lot of the people who are replying to this Thanks for your support. I got lucky and the whole "time heals all wounds" thing worked for me. Nowadays I just share that as much as I can so that anyone who reads it knows that 1. Stuff like that can happen, and it isn't all that uncommon and 2. It isn't a life-ender, and you can get through it in your own way.
Exactly! I hate that people say "you can't be sexist towards a man!" And "only men are rapists!" It kills me, and I'm a female. By the way, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
@@macyr2216 Thanks for your support. I got lucky and the whole "time heals all wounds" thing worked for me. Nowadays I just share that as much as I can so that anyone who reads it knows that 1. Stuff like that can happen, and it isn't all that uncommon and 2. It isn't a life-ender, and you can get through it in your own way.
Learn to focus on subtle signs as well. Contusions (bruises), laceration (cuts), fractures, and breaks are easy. Yelling, constant profanity, pejoratives, etc. are easy. It’s the excuses and odd behavior that are the indicators most overlook. Wearing long sleeves in summer (outside of work if necessary) to hide scars, cowering when she raises her voice even the slightest in public, “falling on every sword” when things go wrong to avoid arguments, and always second guessing your own interpretation of occurrences that would be blatantly and glaringly obvious to others. If no one believes you, regardless of the method of abuse, keep speaking up until someone does.
A few years ago, I had heard constant shouting and glass breaking across the street of a townhouse. I called the cips, telling them that i am hearing a woman screaming nasty things and a lot of glass shattering. They showed up 5 minuets after a woman was assaulted on the same poarch by a woman about 20 years older. A guy opened the door when the cops showed up and saw how bloody he was, how shaken he was. The woman who was assaulted was apparently called over to pick the guy up because his room mate went crazy. A couple weeks later, i saw him again and he told me that there was a lot more that happened. Like the same older woman was threatening him with a knife, and has a court order to appear and sue the older woman for the medical costs. I gave him $10 for his bus fair and wished him luck in court. The older woman, though, found out that i had called the cops on her, tried to threaten me and intiminate me. I told her if she threatens me or my family, i will call the cops again for harassment. I then pointed to the cameras that record everything on the street, then told her to fuck off. Abusive people will look for new victims, and i was not going to have her bully my family after the shit she pulled on a rather decent guy.
The problem is women who are abusive tend to be more mentally and or emotionally abusive than physically. Although physical abuse inevitably occurs in the end. But certainly in my case it was mental or emotional.
Me too. Emotionally abusive partner. I would grind my teeth in my sleep and about 2 or 3 times a week would wake up at night so wet with sweat that I had to dry myself off and sleep on the couch. It wasn't till a month after I got free that I realized that I hadn't done either of those things since the relationship ended. I had been in that state for 20 years. It took a therapist 3 months to even make me understand I'd been abused.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I have a DV charge. My 6’5 240 lb boyfriend and I were in active addiction at the time, and physical fights would break out pretty regularly. We got into a mutual argument one night, both of us had injuries. I got the DV...I knew it would ruin his life exponentially more than mine, as he is male (and Latino). It’s sad how that shit works. (We are both over 5 years sober now and still together).
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Have you avoided swimming pools and going to the beach your entire life, because some people have died of drowning? I’m pretty sure you didn’t. What you probably did though was to be careful, learn how to swim, be aware of the potential dangers, and made choices that made sure you stayed safe. Well, the same applies here. Know which behaviors are acceptable and which aren’t. Learn about domestic violence, the patterns, the characteristics, the behaviors to look out for, etc. Stay aware of how the person you’re dating makes you feel. You feel respected, validated and valued? You’re good. Most of the times you feel like sh*t, you’re opinion is never good, you never get to do what you want it’s always « theirs », you’re being invalidated whenever you share your feelings about something that happened? You’re not good. Get out. You just have to learn when it’s time to get out, either a pool or a relationship, because you’re not safe, or aren’t sure that you are, anymore. That’s people’s first and biggest mistake and misunderstanding.
I know first hand it's true. One of my ex girlfriends got pissed off cause I cooked her eggs wrong and threw a cast iron skillet at the back of my head. I remember waking up on the floor in a small pool of blood.
This was extremely upsetting to read through, my dad went through a lot with my mum. He used to hit her but she abused him in a different way, tearing him down. I've realised that until we deal with the abuse men suffer as seriously as we deal with the abuse women suffer, women will actually not be safe.
8:04 "Someone spotted the abuse and reported it to corporate and she got a promotion." SHE GOT A PROMOTION?!?!?!?!?!? What was the logic behind this? There was an eye witness who reported it!!
Before I started to transition, it happened to me. Over the course of a year the relationship got so much more abusive, starting with emotional, becoming physical and then there was the rape itself. It was all a game to see how far I'd be pushed. Every single time I have opened up (with one exception) I've been mocked, blamed, told I deserved it or wanted it. The best case scenario even with helpline workers and professionals is that I won't be believed at all, so I keep my mouth shut. I found that opening up was a mistake, even to family members, friends and professionals so I just deal with this alone as best I can. A relationship is impossible for me because I know they'd just leave if I told them about it (which I'd have to, given how badly it all affected me). My only choice is to go at it alone as although I live as a woman now, telling the story is still from the perspective of a frightened 18 year old boy. So support groups don't want to hear it.
I've been there. I had a drunken ex once who forced herself on me for literally ten minutes before finally restraining her. It sucks even worse for a woman because men are so much stronger than them and have much difficulty fighting them off. I hope you heal. 🙏
This honestly makes me scared of women knowing that they could start slapping the shit out of me in the street and people will laugh, if I push her away the police are called and I’m going to prison
To any man out there that has been advised by a woman: I'm so sorry. But I believe you. It was not your fault You didn't do anything wrong Your feelings are real and valid. However you feel, shitty, angry, upset hurt, that's valid. You were assaulted and it was wrong BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT And I hope that you can find peace and healing
If you have a abusive girlfriend (not married). Then the one of the best way how to get rid off her is. if she lives in your house wait till she goes to work. Then pack all of her stuff and throw it out a window make a sign I had enough and put it on the front door and lock back and front door. Install a hiddiden camera and wait for her. This should work butt it is not approowed.
This one thing I question in regards to those dad who wear those rules for dating my t-shirt or post those memes. What do they do when their daughter is the abuser. Or if its their son getting the abuse from his girlfriend. I kind of imagine apathy from those guys towards their son and that they would deny their daughter was that way or praise them.
If my daughter did anything like that I would help him pack (If he wanted to leave) or move her out. If he filed charges, I'd let her little ass sit in jail. Then show up to court to help him. There is absolutely NO chance in hell my wife and I would let her get away with that. Abuse is abuse, no matter the offender!
Yeah, for sure.. because « Daddy’s little princess » can’t do bad things, can’t be mean, can’t hurt nobody. We all know that. The thing is, the daughter probably behaves like this because that’s what she’s seeing and hearing at home, from her mom and dad. So this dad is probably being abused himself, thus making it way harder, or even impossible for him to distinguish and identify abuse behaviors, what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t.
Worse is apathy from women. Lately, I keep seeing videos of women doing skits saying they will ignore it if their daughter, or their son's gf, is abusing a dude/their kid. Usually some caption about how he must deserve it. Stuff sucks.
Hearing these kind of stories makes me feel so sorry for these men. Men should be able to feel safe, cared for and loved in a relationship too and should be believed when they are in abusive relationships. I kinda wanna give them all a hug
My sister was basically sexually harassed by someone related to us, or at least me. She kept it secret for 4 years and basically broke down completely when she told my mom (she told me before her). I don’t see why people are reacting this way towards men it’s not completely different. The small little things like ass touching I can assure you will make you flinch and leave an affect. Both women and men can be affected by this and there’s no reason to disregard one gender’s stories just because of their build and how impossible it seems
my brother is dealing with an abusive relationship- or trying to get away from one. she doesnt physically hit him but she does everything else to him- gets him fired anytime she finds out hes working somewhere else, calls the cops on him when she stages situations among other thigns
I am reading a subreddit about men being abused by women and it makes me so annoyed and frustrated. It's like, seriously? It shouldn't matter whether or not the victim is a man or a woman (or neither). There isn't like a "ToP fIvE tHiNgS yOu NeEd To QuAlIfY aS aN AbUsEr" list. I've read a lot of the stories where it was a 6'4 man being abused by 5'2 lady. It shouldn't be impossible or sound ridiculous for a man to be mentally/physically/financially,etc abused by oposite sex.
Ended up marrying an abusive narcissist who didn’t show any signs of that until we started living together and we went to therapy once and she cut me off every single time I tried to talk… the therapist understood and now I’m getting divorced and in the happiest place in my life.
A guy in school i was with almost got sexualy assulted. When people caught wind of that and made fun of turning down a woman like that and even bullied him. First guy i saw do that shit i followed him home and saw his folks. When i gave them the jist of it they were about laugh till i confront them about laughing about rape and possible teen pregnancy. That was like watching someone declair war at NATO to them when i then threw out the words "Hey i'd bet you want grandkids badly so much that you'd let your son get to knocking up some hooker! Say shit like that in public will net you points but damn. You've got your priorities straight. For a house this nice you'd might be able to support your future single father of a son while the woman bailed or abused the hell out of them. Had it a occured that a woman going down on a guy without protection is even thinking straight in that undercooked noodle she may call a brain." That day the police tried to arrest me and i was locked up... for the glory of an hour. Yeah the son had a mental shift of sort's called the PD and told them that his family can't place charges on me for laughing at me about rape and then scolding them. Guy nearly chocked and asked me to which i gave into details. Then that family got listed on something and i got a ride home! :D Folks were both pissed and proud at the same time. The cop said thankyou to me but in a almost shook way of sorts. Regret not asking that man what was wrong.
My brother was abused by his fiance for a long time. She kicked us out of the wedding and he got married alone, crying that his siblings and mother wasn't there. A year or two later we get him back and she trickled into the family again dependent on my my mother for help since she's a single mother again. I know deep down we're only tolerating her for the kids, but I hate how my mother is so buddy-buddy with her while the rest of us are not over our brother being abused and taken away from us, along with our nephews while we were already going through a very difficult time in our lives. If their genders were reversed, she would be ostracised and my mother would have likely run her over. I hate that because she's such a pitiful woman, that her manipulative behaviour and toxic abusiveness is easily forgiven. He's clearly uncomfortable with her being around and the rest of us make it clear we don't want to be buddies with her.
After what I've experienced in my life as far as physical and mental abuse, I never want to live with someone who can have the ability to do that to me ever again. So I don't.
Anyone I told “IF” I told just brushed it off, it’s not necessarily that they didn’t believe me but more like they didn’t care, or it was like “what? You didn’t want it???” Like I’m suppose to be some sex crazed animal or something... I hate it
So fun fact, domestic abuse laws are one of very few sub sets of law that has a "shall arrest" statement, not a "may arrest" meaning the cop has no discretion and must arrest some one when they arrive on scene. So your neighbor calls in domestic altercation on you and your spouse, the man gets cuffed and put in the car by default since its a shall arrest offense, and they coincidentally hear the woman's side first, regardless of if it was mutual or just her
It's super messed up, where the cops literally caught her in the act and decided to separate them, why was he taken away? Why didn't he stay in the house and take her away???
But... But women NEVER lie. Why, ALL women are perfect angels! Actually, I learned about abusive women because of my stepmother. I never gambled by letting myself be fooled by that "nice" woman. She can be a demon.
Tangentially related. My cousin is a shit, but his ex is a monster. She neglects her children, continously marries men and has their babies and then dumps them to get child support, may or may not let her boyfriends touch her daughters, and one of her daughters tried to commit suicide (age 12ish? She lied down in the road). He's a lazy bastard, but he has a wife, mother, and sister who care deeply for their/his kids. His daughter is far safer when with him. Guess who got custody? Mommy, of course. Similar thing happening with another cousin, except he doesn't depend on the women in his life to pick up his messes. He cares for his kids himself, she'd rather be with her boyfriends. I rant about Woke crap a lot, but I really fucking hate it. It casts men as the epitome of evil. It's narrow minded bullshit. And it lets women get away with even more shit than we already did.
Yes. We have had numerous studies since 1975 and a meta analysis of the data showing women are as abusive as men and in unidirectional DV, it is more likely to be the women that are violent.
No one believes us. Until they actually see it happening in front of them. My wife would slap head, kick bite, and throw stuff at me. Including knives and scissors. But even then when the place arrived, I was the one that always had to leave in court she claim that she was the one abused how? She hurt her hand slapping me and I’m a US Marine so obviously I’m dangerous.🤔 we get humiliated, defeated, talk to like we’re the problem. My saving grace is when our son finally turned 15 he didn’t want to live with her anymore because of the abuse was on him then.
No man should be abused and there is no excuse. But that said and I may get flack for saying this... Towards the end there was one guy who stayed he was raped once while drunk and almost raped while drunk. I get that intoxication doesn't equal consent, but when you get raped while intoxicated once before, don't you think one would have the sense not to get blacked out drunk again putting self in compromising position? I was raped by my ex-husband, so I do understand rape. I just can't understand why anyone would put themselves at further risk. Does that make sense? Or am I wrong to think that.
@Evan McGough Exactly. And then I read on this thread that the new partner is helping them with their emotional baggage and trust. Iike why would you put that on somebody else. I just personally feel it is selfish and very dangerous.
This is 90% of why I have no interest in dating I have a lot medical problems and I go to the doctors so much i dont have the time or energy to put up with some bs lie about me so no way in hell am I gonna even think about taking that risk
So when I was in middle school a girl would pinch and slap my butt everytime she saw me she didn’t even know my name and it was in front of teachers and people and nothing ever happened cause she was pretty. In highschool I dated a girl, she told her friends and family I had cheated on her and broke up with me with a whole scene ( I was still a virgin at the time). Her brother and one of his friends beat me up so bad I couldn’t eat without pain for several weeks. I got a lot of hate from random people I didn’t know after that. I didn’t date again till I went to college in an entirely different town. Mine aren’t as bad as some but i think think about how mad it would’ve made me nowadays.
This tread is filled with a fuck ton of survivers bias yeah there are good woman out there who will love and rebuild a broken man. Sadly these woman are very very few and far between. Also a lot of men disapear into a sinkhole of society or just end themselfs. So are unable to tell there tale here
I was also abudrf for by my ex for over a decade . Which was witnessed by my mother the first [-2 years while my ex lived with her during pregnancy with our daughter. The abuse was more problematic due to her martial arts background including competing professionally for the Philippines in international competitions while. Almost qualifying for the Olympic team in the Philippines. Multiple times police were called by her after she prevented me from attempting to call or leave the apartment including threatening me with a kn8fe twice and on one occasion i was able to get out of the apartment but only 2 steps when she grabbed me and threw me back inside. Each time the police came they always said it was because she called and that if one of us pursues charges they'll arrest both of us. When I was threatened with a knife I finally told them that if they needed to arrest me too, ok but I wanted to pursue charges. The officer responded with stating he wasn't even going to fill out a police report so he didn't have to arrest anyone. On another occasion and this was after she attempted to grab my throat which I avoided by falling on to a futon behind me. She called the police saying I attacked her when I was being kicked, punched and thrown all over the apartment and not one hostile action on my part. She immediately left after making the phone call with our daughter and I was the only one at the apartment when police arrived. I told them exactly what happened and the mark she left on my neck from her attempt to choke me. They took pictures of it and as they have leaving myex arrives at the building with my mother who she had meet her at a Taco Bell a block away. The officers talked to her and then told me that if either of us pursues charges both of us will be arrested. They also added that despite my mother being there and perfectly capable of looking after our daughter whom helped with raising her on and off for the first few years. During periods of my ex losing jobs and apartments to temporarily live with my mother. . Instead the police told us that if they arrested us. They would have foster care take our daughter despite my mother presence and be in the system after that. A year later the abuse escalated with two if you don't count the attempt to choke me from earlier attempts by my ex to either kill me or at risk of it. The first was her getting so angry that while I was sitting on the couch with our daughter watching TV. My ex is standing over me with both hands around my throat choking me with our daughter 6 inches away. I didn't do anything nor say.anything while being choked m The only concern was our daughter and the trauma she would suffer from this. At some point my ex gains control of herself and steps back. I immediately rush out of the apartment to a side exit out of the building. My ex following screaming at me. I take one step down a flight of stairs leading to the sidewalk when she pushes me down the stairs from behind. I don't know how but I managed to keep from fully falling and stumbled down the stairs while trying to keep my balance. When she saw I made it ok she immediately shouted"go ahead capl the police it's your word against mine". I did finally make the call 3 years after the abuse started because of what just happened. . I waited in front of the building for the police to arrive. I told them everything then they went to talk to her. She spent the time making a self inflicted cut on her hand shaped like a triangle saying I scratched her. Yet the edges of the woumd when I saw it was clean as if done by Sharp instrument or blade.. I was the one that was arrested and the last time I tried going to the police for help. I got out a month later and was staying with my mother over an hour away from my ex. We weren't even 1/2 way to my mother's place when non stop harassing phone calls by her wanting to get back together but I was done. Furthermore she wanted this while having restraining orders against me in place which she planned on using to further abuse me such as punishment or coerce control. At one point while temporary staying in a place for a few months while looking for something more permanent. I ended up getting into a relationship with a woman who lived in the same complex I was staying in. . It was during this time that I found out that my ex was stalking me. Who on one occasion was watching us at a pizza place a block away from the complex and Eve followed us in the complex to confront me about who she was while having a no contact/stayaway order against me in place. I refused to answer and she left after realizing the attention she attracted. Later on things didn't work out with the neighbor and I found a more permanent place. Around this time before moving out my ex showed fake documentation leading me to believe that the orders for no contact and stay away were removed. She also managed to get employed at the place I had been staying after I kivedinto a more permanent residence. At one point she loses her job there after her boss finds out she😢dating her bosses, which is followed by the apartment. Not wanting my daughter on the street I let them stay temporary with a set amount to help with costs of $100 with a month leeway for her to find work. Month comes by with not only no work but no sign of even trying to find work. Instead her abusive behavior is coming out and she was no longer welcome at my mother's house due to hmmy ex trying to harass and pressure my mother to sign over power of attorney over her when she was in November nerf of one and perfectly capable oftaking care of herself. It got so bad my mother had to evict her because she no longer felt safe and even dreaded beating in her own house. My ex has attempted to deny my moth seeing and talking with my daughter ever since even when bringing it to court with me in support of her being able to spend time with my daughter. The court found it was in my daughter's best interest due to the years my mother helped raise her. This includes reunification therapy between the two which my ex sabatoged and then denied following any further orders. Instead after attempts to getting permission to take her to Hong Kong where her brother lives and then Maine when that was denied. She finally was granted permission to take her to Washington state after the reunification therapy had been completed. Instead she immediately took her to Washington state to become a prison guard there and filed for a new case including transferring it to Washington state without serving anyone with papers. It was almost time for the hearing when it was discovered and courts in Los Angeles notified the Washington court that the case has been ongoing for years and everything was out on hold until being told they dismissed it due to other parties not served. Years later I find that they never dismissed it but instead transferred it to another county to determine if it's going take the case. which it handed back to the original Washington court. During this time all ordered visits and even contact with my daughter has been denied. Until a year later for Thanksgiving spent at my uncle's in Nevada. After the visit ended I went back to Los Angeles the next day. My ex filed for a restraining order to deny even attempting to excercise the visitation rights from California court orders. While the court in Washington had deputies in Nevada attempt to serve me papers in Nevada. Which I had never lived at his place and iive only been there twice for Thanksgiving in two separate years. Deputies notified the court I wasn't served she didn't live at the address and was in Los Angeles. Few months later another restraining order was filled also having deputies serving me in Nevada when I was living in Canyon Conutry just north of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. . Within 2 weeks of filing this my ex filed a motion in California to transfer the case to Washington but doesn't server minors council that was appointed by the court to represent my daughter's best interest. Nor anyone else and I'm only served part of the paperwork at the very last minute while missing the papers needed for filing a response. The hearing was scheduled also 2 weeks before the hearing in Washington state for the restraining order I still wasn't aware of. Upon hearing that parties were not served or partially served (something that was already familiar with the court in her doing multiple times over the years). The hearing was taken off calendar and never heard. Which was followed by the hearing in Washington which granted the restraining order denying the visits and contact with my daughter and served me papers in Nevada again. It was 6 months later that I received a call from my mother who was visiting my uncle and asked when I was last in Washington state which was years before I met my ex and visited family living there.v turns out I was being summoned to the court in Washington state for charges of violating a restraining order I never knew was in place. And claiming cyber stalking regarding phone calls requesting cthe visits ordered by the court or to talk with my daughter as a criminal offense by the Washington state court.
I hate the double standards of this world. For women it is in the workplace. For men it in a this area right here. A man won’t get the kids without the worlds best argument. A man won’t get arrested unless the police see the crazy one in action. Women won’t be treated fairly in the workplace without them being in a high position. Women won’t suffer the pink tax unless a seller is a decent person. This society (mainly the united states) won’t change its sexist ways unless someone who is truly trying to fight for equality steps up to bat. Not just for women, but for men too. Edit: had a couple wrong autocorrected words here and there
Either they don't believe you, or they do but don't see the problem. I told my mother, embarrassed, about the time my first girlfriend had forced herself on me when I tried to break up with her (while threatening to claim I raped her if I didn't do it with her and stay with her). My mother sort of half acknowledged it then moved on the conversation. Either she didn't believe me, or she did but didn't think it was a problem. Because I got no advice or even a proper reaction from my mother, I thought it must be within the ambit of normal behaviour, so I stayed with that ex for another 3 months, miserable, until she got bored of me and broke up with me (thankfully). This same ex had also previously broken her finger when she swung at me and I dodged it (her punch hit the wall, and the ring she was wearing broke the finger). When I tell people about that they have blank expressions. One woman even told me I shouldn't have dodged it. I stopped trying to have relationships because I got injured a few years ago, but even if I wasn't I would have sworn off them ever since my mother decided to completely destroy the family by chasing her loins with someone other than my father. I've found that the only time I (or my father) seem to get sympathy from women about these things, is when those women are trying to pull me (or my father) into a relationship with them. I don't think it's them being dishonest, more just that they only start paying attention to and caring for men when those men are a potential suitor. It's all soured my view of women overall, which is saddening to me, but at this point in my life I would rather just give up and become a monk, rather than try again. Our culture is just awful.
Fight on men. Do not shallow. You are valid. I know of your pains and understand the struggle. Men we must stand by each other and make each other know they are loved. Fight not for pride but for a chance to recover. Fight so that you can do better. Fight not for the world but for your sake. Speak up believe in others and let them know they are loved. Men stand by your men for they are as deserving of peace as even the most unsettled person. The system may be against us but we have to fight for equality and act in peace well we do so. Your abusers will make shit up to make you look bad. Hold your head high and be honest, let's equalise the system and make no abusers strong. Men figjt for tomorrow's beauty will be seen. Fight for the time when you get justice and your abusers get what they deserve will be coming. Stand by your men and fight.
Shh don't talk about this abuse of men by women, it "hurts women" apparently (not really but I've heard "feminists" actually make this argument). But seriously, I was SA'd by a woman and I yhought that people would support her, cheer her on, laugh at me etc so I kept my mouth shut for 13 years
Some times you just wanna break all laws and beat the living crap out of people till they plead for gods help only for god to come and help you beat them
@@335chr no I'm talking about the fact that Society expects women to be emotional and that hurts men in the sense that they can't show emotion or women are expected to take care of the kids that hurts men that if they're taking care of the kids are called a babysitter
The man who was assaulted twice when he was blackout drunk NEEDS TO STOP DRINKING. I'm not blaming him, he was clearly abused. And of course you should be able to get blackout drunk WITHOUT being abused. But can you blackout drink either among friends only, or at home with someone who can take responsibility? When I was younger I deliberately never drank in public because I didn't trust that if I lost control I"d be safe. It's not rocket science.
I hate domestic violence PSAs. Why? Because it always shows the men abusing women in some fashion, never can women be the abuser.
Like the college posters that say
“Jack and Jill are drinking at a party, Jill cannot consent” or “Teach your sons consent” the connotation is always one sided. Glad to see some of this is changing now.
Try living in Australia. Every poster is about how many women get abused. If you go on the government website. If you click on the female tab it’s how you can escape an abusive relationship, if you click on the male tab. It’s all about how you can stop abusing women. Seriously I hate this country so much.
@@troystaunton254 im so sorry you have to put up with that it is shit everywhere tho
Hol up what you mean by psas im only in 8th grade we have to LEARN some crap like this in school the h*ll
It's intentional. EVERY MEDIA OUTLET IN THE WORLD IS CONTROLLED BY THE SATANIC ELITE.
This proves that we live in a corrupt society
So true. But if it was turn around the guy life would be ruined.
@Tuxedo wolf faster than 343 metres per second
@Tuxedo wolf you should call the police on the stepmother
111 likes
@Tuxedo wolf I think you should enact revenge upon that evil thing that others view as human.
My older sister (I'll call her Karen) used to abuse her husband and laugh about it to her friends (they were all just like her, you know the peaked in high school type girls) He was too nice of a guy to strike back and too embarrassed to report her so I called his sister. Long story short, Karen stopped her crap
Thank you for your empathy. Both men and women need to show each other more compassion
Salute o7
a stupid karen giving nice people named karen a bad wrap
what did his sister do?
@thousandyardgavri2785 Gave a bit of her own medicine, so to speak.
that thumbnail is perfect. #JusticeForJohnnyDepp
Justice for Johnny Depp
As a woman, I feel so sad and angry that men are not helped when they need it. No one should be abused, not woman, children or men. There are no doubts that there are women who are simply nut-jobs and think nothing of abusing the men in their lives, be it physical, mental, trapping men with pregnancy, or stalking. Men need the support too and I hope that society starts to realize that their mental health during the abuse is just as bad as any physical abuse, if not more. I advocate for men's rights. They need to be heard.
The fact you said that as a woman makes it significantly better
Thank you. 🙏
It's depressing that the general consensus of scholars view the men's rights movement as anti-woman, toxic and misogynistic when in reality, it has nothing to do with that at all. We just want to be heard as the human beings that we are and treated with the same dignity as western women are. We're not made of stone and women are just as able to abuse a man as a man a woman; Courtney Clenny is evidence of this.
@@nocturnalrecluse1216 We need to stay strong and fight for what's right. No one deserves abuse of any kind.
@@sd4055 Please tell your feminist sisters that it's not only about them. That both genders matter. That western men aren't as privileged as they were brainwashed to think.
I first became aware of the issue in college, which shows how quiet it's kept. My professor ran a women's shelter and spoke about how difficult it was to help the *one* man and his kids. Drugs and alcohol were involved and the only reason he reached out was because he had no family and money. She was the reason he lost his job and the last straw was when she tried to go after the kids.
It took a little finessing, but they ended up in a safe place. Just imagine if the system had to provide for more than the one man who reached out for help
Ex mentally abused me and then tried to play victim post breakup after realizing she was too toxic to even be friends with. It eventually caught up to her as she kept getting dumped by men and I fixed myself up and am in a happy relationship over a year strong. Her closest friends knew what was up and took my side as well as her family in the end.
Thumbnail is so perfect
Yes
Same
Yup
Christ on a bike yer right
Totally!
for anyone wondering "why didnt these guys just hit back/defend themselves?" the answer is quite simple: if he hits back, the woman can easily spin the narrative into one where the roles are reversed, especially since people who abuse their partners seem to often be manipulative to the ones around them (not just their intimate partners). the victim could easily get into a world of trouble.
if he defended himself and this was in a loud fight, the woman could do the same as in the first scenario but claim rape or something similar. since there would be hypothetically little to no harm from the incident on either of them, the only sign that anything happened would be neighbor witness to a loud fight. in that case, the police and anyone involved has a much higher chance of believing the woman rather than the man. and since rape doesnt necessarily include any physical damage, it would be easily believed and the man would, again, probably get into a buttload of trouble.
if youre in this type of situation, pease try to get out safely. and i mean that particular abusive situation but also the relationship entirely.
You can just tell everyone you know they are bad like for a dumb reason(if they don't believe you are abused) and get away
I have no experiences like this though
So idk if it would work
@@boxinabox6608 maybe? idk, i dont think that would really work if the majority of the community around the couple was on the abusers side already. like if he narrative is already "me vs. my partner", saying the other person (the abuser) is dumb would probably just strengthen that narrative and since its not a very concrete argument to make others stop supporting the abuser, it would possibly just worsen the situation, if it would do anything at all. i have no experience either tho, im just speculating.
@@boxinabox6608 like the abuser could probably use that statement to further strengthen their argument that "my partner is the abusive one and is trying to cause me defamation/manipulate me" etc.
As a man who suffered abuse, I found myself shunned by most of my social circle because my ex made a bunch of false accusation against me to them. Women are always considered the victim and men the aggressor. The sexism is real.
Remember, folks, it's not just men being targeted by women that get ignored. Men being targeted in general tend to get ignored.
As a personal example, I was r**ed by an unknown man while I was homeless 2000 miles from my home city. Police reports were filed, to no avail. I had to fight to even file the report. I went to a doctor to ask them to collect samples (he finished in me, and I hadn't even had the ability to shower yet, so I figured there might be evidence still. I was told to leave the doctor's office, under threat of cops, for trespassing. Even some of the friends I had made didn't believe me, or worse called me a fa**ot for it.
I was not wandering around looking to hook up with people, I was asleep on the roof of a pizza place. I wasn't asking for it, I was woken up to a knife against my throat. Any race, religion, gender, ANYONE can be abusive, not just men. Any and all people who come to you and confide something that personal should be taken seriously.
Edit:
I'm going to put a reply I gave to Rebecca here, because I feel it applies to a lot of the people who are replying to this
Thanks for your support. I got lucky and the whole "time heals all wounds" thing worked for me. Nowadays I just share that as much as I can so that anyone who reads it knows that 1. Stuff like that can happen, and it isn't all that uncommon and 2. It isn't a life-ender, and you can get through it in your own way.
That sucks that happend to you and I'm sorry for the way you were treated. Know you are not alone and I hope ur doing better know 👍
I'm truly so very sorry this happened to you.
that sucks lol
Exactly! I hate that people say "you can't be sexist towards a man!" And "only men are rapists!" It kills me, and I'm a female. By the way, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
@@macyr2216 Thanks for your support. I got lucky and the whole "time heals all wounds" thing worked for me. Nowadays I just share that as much as I can so that anyone who reads it knows that 1. Stuff like that can happen, and it isn't all that uncommon and 2. It isn't a life-ender, and you can get through it in your own way.
Learn to focus on subtle signs as well. Contusions (bruises), laceration (cuts), fractures, and breaks are easy. Yelling, constant profanity, pejoratives, etc. are easy. It’s the excuses and odd behavior that are the indicators most overlook. Wearing long sleeves in summer (outside of work if necessary) to hide scars, cowering when she raises her voice even the slightest in public, “falling on every sword” when things go wrong to avoid arguments, and always second guessing your own interpretation of occurrences that would be blatantly and glaringly obvious to others. If no one believes you, regardless of the method of abuse, keep speaking up until someone does.
A few years ago, I had heard constant shouting and glass breaking across the street of a townhouse. I called the cips, telling them that i am hearing a woman screaming nasty things and a lot of glass shattering. They showed up 5 minuets after a woman was assaulted on the same poarch by a woman about 20 years older. A guy opened the door when the cops showed up and saw how bloody he was, how shaken he was. The woman who was assaulted was apparently called over to pick the guy up because his room mate went crazy. A couple weeks later, i saw him again and he told me that there was a lot more that happened. Like the same older woman was threatening him with a knife, and has a court order to appear and sue the older woman for the medical costs. I gave him $10 for his bus fair and wished him luck in court.
The older woman, though, found out that i had called the cops on her, tried to threaten me and intiminate me. I told her if she threatens me or my family, i will call the cops again for harassment. I then pointed to the cameras that record everything on the street, then told her to fuck off.
Abusive people will look for new victims, and i was not going to have her bully my family after the shit she pulled on a rather decent guy.
I wouldn't have said anything and filed a restraining order
@@MASTEROFEVIL I cound't do that without her being forcibly removed from the very townhouse she lived in.
@@tikibomber Darn
The problem is women who are abusive tend to be more mentally and or emotionally abusive than physically. Although physical abuse inevitably occurs in the end. But certainly in my case it was mental or emotional.
Me too. Emotionally abusive partner. I would grind my teeth in my sleep and about 2 or 3 times a week would wake up at night so wet with sweat that I had to dry myself off and sleep on the couch. It wasn't till a month after I got free that I realized that I hadn't done either of those things since the relationship ended. I had been in that state for 20 years. It took a therapist 3 months to even make me understand I'd been abused.
I feel so bad for guys who aren't able to come out abt their abuse/ who aren't believed :(
And society wonders why there are so many broken men
Yup.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I have a DV charge. My 6’5 240 lb boyfriend and I were in active addiction at the time, and physical fights would break out pretty regularly. We got into a mutual argument one night, both of us had injuries. I got the DV...I knew it would ruin his life exponentially more than mine, as he is male (and Latino). It’s sad how that shit works.
(We are both over 5 years sober now and still together).
Glad u both are sober! Proud of u both
@@spiritualdawg3623 thanks angel! 💙💙💙
Thank you for telling your story. Awareness of what abuse is helps everyone to recognize and address it.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female ex-partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
My mom hit me, tried to tell my dad, didn’t believe me, end of story
Call the police
Lik how? Did she hit you because you did something wrong or did she abused you?
All I did was forget to take the trash out... for the 5th time
@@monkeyboi9979 still illegal
@@monkeyboi9979 to hit
And this is the reason why I refuse to date, no matter how much I desperately I want to. Way too risky
Not everyone is the same, but it's fine nobody can force you to date.
Same here.
Have you avoided swimming pools and going to the beach your entire life, because some people have died of drowning? I’m pretty sure you didn’t. What you probably did though was to be careful, learn how to swim, be aware of the potential dangers, and made choices that made sure you stayed safe.
Well, the same applies here. Know which behaviors are acceptable and which aren’t. Learn about domestic violence, the patterns, the characteristics, the behaviors to look out for, etc. Stay aware of how the person you’re dating makes you feel. You feel respected, validated and valued? You’re good. Most of the times you feel like sh*t, you’re opinion is never good, you never get to do what you want it’s always « theirs », you’re being invalidated whenever you share your feelings about something that happened? You’re not good. Get out.
You just have to learn when it’s time to get out, either a pool or a relationship, because you’re not safe, or aren’t sure that you are, anymore. That’s people’s first and biggest mistake and misunderstanding.
@@a.b.2850 deleting the whole comment thread now because of this
This is really sad.
I thought it would be 5 posts
I know first hand it's true. One of my ex girlfriends got pissed off cause I cooked her eggs wrong and threw a cast iron skillet at the back of my head. I remember waking up on the floor in a small pool of blood.
Are you okay now?
@@HarunoHime07 physically yes, mentally no. But im in therapy for that and everything thats happened in my life.
@@macyr2216 yea but i kept being told "she must've been defending herself" so i let it go. Besides. I've gone thru worse.
Another ex fought me with a knife and fillet my finger.
Glad you know that's not how you treat someone you love, wishing you the best with therapy
This was extremely upsetting to read through, my dad went through a lot with my mum. He used to hit her but she abused him in a different way, tearing him down. I've realised that until we deal with the abuse men suffer as seriously as we deal with the abuse women suffer, women will actually not be safe.
8:04
"Someone spotted the abuse and reported it to corporate and she got a promotion." SHE GOT A PROMOTION?!?!?!?!?!? What was the logic behind this? There was an eye witness who reported it!!
Ikr?? I was disgusted
Before I started to transition, it happened to me. Over the course of a year the relationship got so much more abusive, starting with emotional, becoming physical and then there was the rape itself. It was all a game to see how far I'd be pushed.
Every single time I have opened up (with one exception) I've been mocked, blamed, told I deserved it or wanted it. The best case scenario even with helpline workers and professionals is that I won't be believed at all, so I keep my mouth shut.
I found that opening up was a mistake, even to family members, friends and professionals so I just deal with this alone as best I can. A relationship is impossible for me because I know they'd just leave if I told them about it (which I'd have to, given how badly it all affected me).
My only choice is to go at it alone as although I live as a woman now, telling the story is still from the perspective of a frightened 18 year old boy. So support groups don't want to hear it.
I've been there. I had a drunken ex once who forced herself on me for literally ten minutes before finally restraining her. It sucks even worse for a woman because men are so much stronger than them and have much difficulty fighting them off.
I hope you heal. 🙏
This honestly makes me scared of women knowing that they could start slapping the shit out of me in the street and people will laugh, if I push her away the police are called and I’m going to prison
To any man out there that has been advised by a woman:
I'm so sorry.
But I believe you.
It was not your fault
You didn't do anything wrong
Your feelings are real and valid. However you feel, shitty, angry, upset hurt, that's valid.
You were assaulted and it was wrong
BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT
And I hope that you can find peace and healing
If you have a abusive girlfriend (not married). Then the one of the best way how to get rid off her is. if she lives in your house wait till she goes to work. Then pack all of her stuff and throw it out a window make a sign I had enough and put it on the front door and lock back and front door. Install a hiddiden camera and wait for her. This should work butt it is not approowed.
If I ever ever meet a fellow woman blaming a male victim for their abuse I will slap them silly
THANKS FOR THAT BECAUSE NO ONE IN THE SOCITY BELIEVES US MEN
This one thing I question in regards to those dad who wear those rules for dating my t-shirt or post those memes. What do they do when their daughter is the abuser. Or if its their son getting the abuse from his girlfriend. I kind of imagine apathy from those guys towards their son and that they would deny their daughter was that way or praise them.
If my daughter did anything like that I would help him pack (If he wanted to leave) or move her out. If he filed charges, I'd let her little ass sit in jail. Then show up to court to help him. There is absolutely NO chance in hell my wife and I would let her get away with that. Abuse is abuse, no matter the offender!
Yeah, for sure.. because « Daddy’s little princess » can’t do bad things, can’t be mean, can’t hurt nobody. We all know that.
The thing is, the daughter probably behaves like this because that’s what she’s seeing and hearing at home, from her mom and dad. So this dad is probably being abused himself, thus making it way harder, or even impossible for him to distinguish and identify abuse behaviors, what behavior is acceptable and what isn’t.
Worse is apathy from women. Lately, I keep seeing videos of women doing skits saying they will ignore it if their daughter, or their son's gf, is abusing a dude/their kid. Usually some caption about how he must deserve it. Stuff sucks.
Hearing these kind of stories makes me feel so sorry for these men. Men should be able to feel safe, cared for and loved in a relationship too and should be believed when they are in abusive relationships. I kinda wanna give them all a hug
Me and my brother just talked about this today. Johnny Depp
I love seeing Johnny Depp on the thumbnail 👏🏻
My sister was basically sexually harassed by someone related to us, or at least me. She kept it secret for 4 years and basically broke down completely when she told my mom (she told me before her). I don’t see why people are reacting this way towards men it’s not completely different. The small little things like ass touching I can assure you will make you flinch and leave an affect. Both women and men can be affected by this and there’s no reason to disregard one gender’s stories just because of their build and how impossible it seems
I think it's because people often don't think of men being the victims.
my brother is dealing with an abusive relationship- or trying to get away from one. she doesnt physically hit him but she does everything else to him- gets him fired anytime she finds out hes working somewhere else, calls the cops on him when she stages situations among other thigns
Unpopular opinion: in the US, male abuse is more severe than female abuse, because female abuse is actively supported by the state.
I am reading a subreddit about men being abused by women and it makes me so annoyed and frustrated. It's like, seriously? It shouldn't matter whether or not the victim is a man or a woman (or neither). There isn't like a "ToP fIvE tHiNgS yOu NeEd To QuAlIfY aS aN AbUsEr" list. I've read a lot of the stories where it was a 6'4 man being abused by 5'2 lady. It shouldn't be impossible or sound ridiculous for a man to be mentally/physically/financially,etc abused by oposite sex.
Ik
There is also that google ignores mens day
And celebrates womens day
And they actually celebrate different genders
On different days
Ended up marrying an abusive narcissist who didn’t show any signs of that until we started living together and we went to therapy once and she cut me off every single time I tried to talk… the therapist understood and now I’m getting divorced and in the happiest place in my life.
A guy in school i was with almost got sexualy assulted. When people caught wind of that and made fun of turning down a woman like that and even bullied him. First guy i saw do that shit i followed him home and saw his folks. When i gave them the jist of it they were about laugh till i confront them about laughing about rape and possible teen pregnancy. That was like watching someone declair war at NATO to them when i then threw out the words "Hey i'd bet you want grandkids badly so much that you'd let your son get to knocking up some hooker! Say shit like that in public will net you points but damn. You've got your priorities straight. For a house this nice you'd might be able to support your future single father of a son while the woman bailed or abused the hell out of them. Had it a occured that a woman going down on a guy without protection is even thinking straight in that undercooked noodle she may call a brain." That day the police tried to arrest me and i was locked up... for the glory of an hour. Yeah the son had a mental shift of sort's called the PD and told them that his family can't place charges on me for laughing at me about rape and then scolding them. Guy nearly chocked and asked me to which i gave into details. Then that family got listed on something and i got a ride home! :D
Folks were both pissed and proud at the same time. The cop said thankyou to me but in a almost shook way of sorts. Regret not asking that man what was wrong.
My brother was abused by his fiance for a long time. She kicked us out of the wedding and he got married alone, crying that his siblings and mother wasn't there. A year or two later we get him back and she trickled into the family again dependent on my my mother for help since she's a single mother again. I know deep down we're only tolerating her for the kids, but I hate how my mother is so buddy-buddy with her while the rest of us are not over our brother being abused and taken away from us, along with our nephews while we were already going through a very difficult time in our lives. If their genders were reversed, she would be ostracised and my mother would have likely run her over. I hate that because she's such a pitiful woman, that her manipulative behaviour and toxic abusiveness is easily forgiven. He's clearly uncomfortable with her being around and the rest of us make it clear we don't want to be buddies with her.
MEN NEED SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING
CUZ ABUSE REALLY SUCKSDOOR
YALL
Let’s use this video as a wake up call
After what I've experienced in my life as far as physical and mental abuse, I never want to live with someone who can have the ability to do that to me ever again. So I don't.
Well this'll be really depressing
Anyone I told “IF” I told just brushed it off, it’s not necessarily that they didn’t believe me but more like they didn’t care, or it was like “what? You didn’t want it???” Like I’m suppose to be some sex crazed animal or something... I hate it
That's terrible...
I got slapped once. I told her with angry eyes that she only gets one. Women in my future the same is true for you.
i am glad that you noticed the sign and got urself out of that situation well done 👏🏻🥰
So fun fact, domestic abuse laws are one of very few sub sets of law that has a "shall arrest" statement, not a "may arrest" meaning the cop has no discretion and must arrest some one when they arrive on scene. So your neighbor calls in domestic altercation on you and your spouse, the man gets cuffed and put in the car by default since its a shall arrest offense, and they coincidentally hear the woman's side first, regardless of if it was mutual or just her
It's super messed up, where the cops literally caught her in the act and decided to separate them, why was he taken away? Why didn't he stay in the house and take her away???
Duluth model, the man is always the perpetrator even if he is the victim.
@@loganblackwood2922 duluth??
But... But women NEVER lie. Why, ALL women are perfect angels! Actually, I learned about abusive women because of my stepmother. I never gambled by letting myself be fooled by that "nice" woman. She can be a demon.
It's beyond words
Tangentially related. My cousin is a shit, but his ex is a monster. She neglects her children, continously marries men and has their babies and then dumps them to get child support, may or may not let her boyfriends touch her daughters, and one of her daughters tried to commit suicide (age 12ish? She lied down in the road). He's a lazy bastard, but he has a wife, mother, and sister who care deeply for their/his kids. His daughter is far safer when with him. Guess who got custody? Mommy, of course. Similar thing happening with another cousin, except he doesn't depend on the women in his life to pick up his messes. He cares for his kids himself, she'd rather be with her boyfriends.
I rant about Woke crap a lot, but I really fucking hate it. It casts men as the epitome of evil. It's narrow minded bullshit. And it lets women get away with even more shit than we already did.
Heartbreaking.
Let me guess, No
You weren’t believed.
It does say "Men who are abused by woman, and tried to tell someone, what was it like?
The first post before the stories
The person who wrote that was obviosly distracted when they wrote that
It should have been "Men who are/were abused by women and tried to tell someone, what is/was it like?"
Dang
I don’t wanna listen to this. I already know the answer. It hurts to think about.
Is it really that common men getting abused by women for that many stories?
Yes. We have had numerous studies since 1975 and a meta analysis of the data showing women are as abusive as men and in unidirectional DV, it is more likely to be the women that are violent.
This was depressing af.
No one believes us. Until they actually see it happening in front of them. My wife would slap head, kick bite, and throw stuff at me. Including knives and scissors. But even then when the place arrived, I was the one that always had to leave in court she claim that she was the one abused how? She hurt her hand slapping me and I’m a US Marine so obviously I’m dangerous.🤔 we get humiliated, defeated, talk to like we’re the problem. My saving grace is when our son finally turned 15 he didn’t want to live with her anymore because of the abuse was on him then.
No man should be abused and there is no excuse. But that said and I may get flack for saying this... Towards the end there was one guy who stayed he was raped once while drunk and almost raped while drunk. I get that intoxication doesn't equal consent, but when you get raped while intoxicated once before, don't you think one would have the sense not to get blacked out drunk again putting self in compromising position? I was raped by my ex-husband, so I do understand rape. I just can't understand why anyone would put themselves at further risk. Does that make sense? Or am I wrong to think that.
22:04
This is straight up kidnapping/abduction
Why do these abuse survivors go on dating again and getting into relationshops without healing first ...just baffles me
@Evan McGough Exactly. And then I read on this thread that the new partner is helping them with their emotional baggage and trust. Iike why would you put that on somebody else. I just personally feel it is selfish and very dangerous.
@Evan McGough Agreed!
Possibly because society Nowdays demands, like If you are a single woman, you are empowered, but If you are a single Man, you are a loser
This is 90% of why I have no interest in dating I have a lot medical problems and I go to the doctors so much i dont have the time or energy to put up with some bs lie about me so no way in hell am I gonna even think about taking that risk
So when I was in middle school a girl would pinch and slap my butt everytime she saw me she didn’t even know my name and it was in front of teachers and people and nothing ever happened cause she was pretty.
In highschool I dated a girl, she told her friends and family I had cheated on her and broke up with me with a whole scene ( I was still a virgin at the time). Her brother and one of his friends beat me up so bad I couldn’t eat without pain for several weeks. I got a lot of hate from random people I didn’t know after that. I didn’t date again till I went to college in an entirely different town.
Mine aren’t as bad as some but i think think about how mad it would’ve made me nowadays.
This tread is filled with a fuck ton of survivers bias
yeah there are good woman out there who will love and rebuild a broken man.
Sadly these woman are very very few and far between.
Also a lot of men disapear into a sinkhole of society or just end themselfs.
So are unable to tell there tale here
We live in a Gynocentric Society. Let's be real.
We either treat male victims seriously! Or we treat female victims like we do male victims currently.
I was also abudrf for by my ex for over a decade . Which was witnessed by my mother the first [-2 years while my ex lived with her during pregnancy with our daughter. The abuse was more problematic due to her martial arts background including competing professionally for the Philippines in international competitions while. Almost qualifying for the Olympic team in the Philippines. Multiple times police were called by her after she prevented me from attempting to call or leave the apartment including threatening me with a kn8fe twice and on one occasion i was able to get out of the apartment but only 2 steps when she grabbed me and threw me back inside. Each time the police came they always said it was because she called and that if one of us pursues charges they'll arrest both of us. When I was threatened with a knife I finally told them that if they needed to arrest me too, ok but I wanted to pursue charges. The officer responded with stating he wasn't even going to fill out a police report so he didn't have to arrest anyone. On another occasion and this was after she attempted to grab my throat which I avoided by falling on to a futon behind me. She called the police saying I attacked her when I was being kicked, punched and thrown all over the apartment and not one hostile action on my part. She immediately left after making the phone call with our daughter and I was the only one at the apartment when police arrived. I told them exactly what happened and the mark she left on my neck from her attempt to choke me. They took pictures of it and as they have leaving myex arrives at the building with my mother who she had meet her at a Taco Bell a block away. The officers talked to her and then told me that if either of us pursues charges both of us will be arrested. They also added that despite my mother being there and perfectly capable of looking after our daughter whom helped with raising her on and off for the first few years. During periods of my ex losing jobs and apartments to temporarily live with my mother. .
Instead the police told us that if they arrested us. They would have foster care take our daughter despite my mother presence and be in the system after that.
A year later the abuse escalated with two if you don't count the attempt to choke me from earlier attempts by my ex to either kill me or at risk of it. The first was her getting so angry that while I was sitting on the couch with our daughter watching TV. My ex is standing over me with both hands around my throat choking me with our daughter 6 inches away. I didn't do anything nor say.anything while being choked m The only concern was our daughter and the trauma she would suffer from this. At some point my ex gains control of herself and steps back. I immediately rush out of the apartment to a side exit out of the building. My ex following screaming at me. I take one step down a flight of stairs leading to the sidewalk when she pushes me down the stairs from behind. I don't know how but I managed to keep from fully falling and stumbled down the stairs while trying to keep my balance. When she saw I made it ok she immediately shouted"go ahead capl the police it's your word against mine". I did finally make the call 3 years after the abuse started because of what just happened. . I waited in front of the building for the police to arrive. I told them everything then they went to talk to her. She spent the time making a self inflicted cut on her hand shaped like a triangle saying I scratched her. Yet the edges of the woumd when I saw it was clean as if done by Sharp instrument or blade.. I was the one that was arrested and the last time I tried going to the police for help.
I got out a month later and was staying with my mother over an hour away from my ex. We weren't even 1/2 way to my mother's place when non stop harassing phone calls by her wanting to get back together but I was done. Furthermore she wanted this while having restraining orders against me in place which she planned on using to further abuse me such as punishment or coerce control. At one point while temporary staying in a place for a few months while looking for something more permanent. I ended up getting into a relationship with a woman who lived in the same complex I was staying in. . It was during this time that I found out that my ex was stalking me. Who on one occasion was watching us at a pizza place a block away from the complex and Eve followed us in the complex to confront me about who she was while having a no contact/stayaway order against me in place. I refused to answer and she left after realizing the attention she attracted. Later on things didn't work out with the neighbor and I found a more permanent place. Around this time before moving out my ex showed fake documentation leading me to believe that the orders for no contact and stay away were removed. She also managed to get employed at the place I had been staying after I kivedinto a more permanent residence. At one point she loses her job there after her boss finds out she😢dating her bosses, which is followed by the apartment. Not wanting my daughter on the street I let them stay temporary with a set amount to help with costs of $100 with a month leeway for her to find work. Month comes by with not only no work but no sign of even trying to find work. Instead her abusive behavior is coming out and she was no longer welcome at my mother's house due to hmmy ex trying to harass and pressure my mother to sign over power of attorney over her when she was in November nerf of one and perfectly capable oftaking care of herself. It got so bad my mother had to evict her because she no longer felt safe and even dreaded beating in her own house. My ex has attempted to deny my moth seeing and talking with my daughter ever since even when bringing it to court with me in support of her being able to spend time with my daughter. The court found it was in my daughter's best interest due to the years my mother helped raise her. This includes reunification therapy between the two which my ex sabatoged and then denied following any further orders. Instead after attempts to getting permission to take her to Hong Kong where her brother lives and then Maine when that was denied. She finally was granted permission to take her to Washington state after the reunification therapy had been completed. Instead she immediately took her to Washington state to become a prison guard there and filed for a new case including transferring it to Washington state without serving anyone with papers. It was almost time for the hearing when it was discovered and courts in Los Angeles notified the Washington court that the case has been ongoing for years and everything was out on hold until being told they dismissed it due to other parties not served. Years later I find that they never dismissed it but instead transferred it to another county to determine if it's going take the case. which it handed back to the original Washington court. During this time all ordered visits and even contact with my daughter has been denied. Until a year later for Thanksgiving spent at my uncle's in Nevada. After the visit ended I went back to Los Angeles the next day. My ex filed for a restraining order to deny even attempting to excercise the visitation rights from California court orders. While the court in Washington had deputies in Nevada attempt to serve me papers in Nevada. Which I had never lived at his place and iive only been there twice for Thanksgiving in two separate years. Deputies notified the court I wasn't served she didn't live at the address and was in Los Angeles. Few months later another restraining order was filled also having deputies serving me in Nevada when I was living in Canyon Conutry just north of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. . Within 2 weeks of filing this my ex filed a motion in California to transfer the case to Washington but doesn't server minors council that was appointed by the court to represent my daughter's best interest. Nor anyone else and I'm only served part of the paperwork at the very last minute while missing the papers needed for filing a response. The hearing was scheduled also 2 weeks before the hearing in Washington state for the restraining order I still wasn't aware of.
Upon hearing that parties were not served or partially served (something that was already familiar with the court in her doing multiple times over the years). The hearing was taken off calendar and never heard. Which was followed by the hearing in Washington which granted the restraining order denying the visits and contact with my daughter and served me papers in Nevada again. It was 6 months later that I received a call from my mother who was visiting my uncle and asked when I was last in Washington state which was years before I met my ex and visited family living there.v turns out I was being summoned to the court in Washington state for charges of violating a restraining order I never knew was in place. And claiming cyber stalking regarding phone calls requesting cthe visits ordered by the court or to talk with my daughter as a criminal offense by the Washington state court.
I hate the double standards of this world. For women it is in the workplace. For men it in a this area right here. A man won’t get the kids without the worlds best argument. A man won’t get arrested unless the police see the crazy one in action. Women won’t be treated fairly in the workplace without them being in a high position. Women won’t suffer the pink tax unless a seller is a decent person. This society (mainly the united states) won’t change its sexist ways unless someone who is truly trying to fight for equality steps up to bat. Not just for women, but for men too.
Edit: had a couple wrong autocorrected words here and there
I don’t know how many times i am going to need to say this but Anyone Can Be Abusive In Any Form And Anyone Can Be Abused.
Either they don't believe you, or they do but don't see the problem. I told my mother, embarrassed, about the time my first girlfriend had forced herself on me when I tried to break up with her (while threatening to claim I raped her if I didn't do it with her and stay with her). My mother sort of half acknowledged it then moved on the conversation. Either she didn't believe me, or she did but didn't think it was a problem.
Because I got no advice or even a proper reaction from my mother, I thought it must be within the ambit of normal behaviour, so I stayed with that ex for another 3 months, miserable, until she got bored of me and broke up with me (thankfully).
This same ex had also previously broken her finger when she swung at me and I dodged it (her punch hit the wall, and the ring she was wearing broke the finger). When I tell people about that they have blank expressions. One woman even told me I shouldn't have dodged it.
I stopped trying to have relationships because I got injured a few years ago, but even if I wasn't I would have sworn off them ever since my mother decided to completely destroy the family by chasing her loins with someone other than my father.
I've found that the only time I (or my father) seem to get sympathy from women about these things, is when those women are trying to pull me (or my father) into a relationship with them. I don't think it's them being dishonest, more just that they only start paying attention to and caring for men when those men are a potential suitor.
It's all soured my view of women overall, which is saddening to me, but at this point in my life I would rather just give up and become a monk, rather than try again.
Our culture is just awful.
Fight on men. Do not shallow. You are valid. I know of your pains and understand the struggle. Men we must stand by each other and make each other know they are loved. Fight not for pride but for a chance to recover. Fight so that you can do better. Fight not for the world but for your sake. Speak up believe in others and let them know they are loved. Men stand by your men for they are as deserving of peace as even the most unsettled person. The system may be against us but we have to fight for equality and act in peace well we do so. Your abusers will make shit up to make you look bad. Hold your head high and be honest, let's equalise the system and make no abusers strong. Men figjt for tomorrow's beauty will be seen. Fight for the time when you get justice and your abusers get what they deserve will be coming. Stand by your men and fight.
Shh don't talk about this abuse of men by women, it "hurts women" apparently (not really but I've heard "feminists" actually make this argument).
But seriously, I was SA'd by a woman and I yhought that people would support her, cheer her on, laugh at me etc so I kept my mouth shut for 13 years
Notice how all these are about women? Crazy
Well the question was specifically about female perpetrators.
@@chimpwimp9407 wow, it's almost as if it was a joke. Nah, that makes to much sense.
Some times you just wanna break all laws and beat the living crap out of people till they plead for gods help only for god to come and help you beat them
Thumbnail aged well
I wish I never knew that sexism was a thing
why I've gone monk
there are times i thank my stars for being a jobless incel loser.. and reading these are such a time
👍
Everyone needs to remind themselves that misogyny sexism and patriarchy are double-edged swords
Translation you support females abusing men because men are the patriarchy
@@335chr no I'm talking about the fact that Society expects women to be emotional and that hurts men in the sense that they can't show emotion or women are expected to take care of the kids that hurts men that if they're taking care of the kids are called a babysitter
@@lokilaufeyson7193 there should be equal punishment for everyone
@@335chr I don't think you actually understood it
@@335chr it means it works the other way too
The man who was assaulted twice when he was blackout drunk NEEDS TO STOP DRINKING. I'm not blaming him, he was clearly abused. And of course you should be able to get blackout drunk WITHOUT being abused. But can you blackout drink either among friends only, or at home with someone who can take responsibility? When I was younger I deliberately never drank in public because I didn't trust that if I lost control I"d be safe. It's not rocket science.
Wee
Oh, but abuse is something men do to women and kids, doncha know.
Man up, buttercup
/s
We can’t just man up and forget about it we don’t tell girls to women up do we?
"Women up! It's not that hard to get over it, isn't it?"