Surrogacy and Christianity
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ต.ค. 2024
- We wanted to take some time to share our hearts on the subject of being a Christian surrogate. With the pope’s recent statement and public figures speaking out against surrogacy, we want to share a different perspective. It’s a long video, but I'm thankful Dan and I were able to sit down and share our hearts. Love you guys tons. Thanks for being here!
DAN AND SAM
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Hey there, I'm Sam. My husband Dan and I have two kids, Canyon and Ember. In 2018 we felt led to pursue surrogacy and we are now in our second journey. We hope to encourage and inspire you with all we do!
Editing by: Crema Video
#surrogacy #surrogacyjourney #surrogate #gestationalcarrier #gestationalsurrogacy
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I truly believe we are made to be different and different minded for a reason. Doesn't make it always easy. ❤ Thanks for sharing both your perspectives. Sending hellos from Wasilla Alaska.
Tschandra
Yessss! So good!
@@WeAreDanandSam 🥰 You both have a great day.
Hi guys, i am watching your journey from South Africa. And honestly i have the up most respect for what you are doing as i have a few people in my family that went through this, and the joy those kids brought no verse in the Bible can explain. My aunt went through multiple missgarages and if i had the proper means i would have loved for her to be a mom.😪 she is my mom now though as my mother passed away from cancer.
You are doing so much good and anyone watching can see that. 🤗
I'm so proud of you for being strong enough to deal with these judgmental people out here. If i could have been a surrogate, i would have. I had a daughter with a disability, so it wasn't ideal for me to carry for someone else. My cousin however has been a surrogate 4 times, with twins twice. There are too many people having kids that have NO business being parents and there's people who were born to be parents and can't. This as close as they can be to Kenzy carrying their child organically. It's beautiful and selfless. Don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise. Love you guys and I'm beyond happy for Kenzy and her hubby ❤❤
I appreciate you guys making this video! My faith is a huge part of my life and I feel in my heart called to be a surrogate ❤
YES, YES, YES !!!! AGREED ON ALL ACCOUNTS!!!! THE POPE IS NOT GOD, HE JUST A MAN !!! DUDE HAS NO BEARING ON MY LIFE. YOU GUYS HAVE ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BE A GREAT TOOL BY GOD TO COMPLETE ANOTHERS FAMILY. GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS ❤
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 yes!!!! thank you for sharing. There’s definitely a lot of opinions out there on this topic right now which makes it so difficult for those of us who are growing our families in different ways.
I think you are the most selfless couple with such beautiful hearts.
I think it's amazing ❤what ur doing blessing someone with baby that unfortunately they cant carry them self god bless you your family and all around you ❤ xx
I ❤ you guys! Sam, you seem to be such an amazing woman/mother/friend/surrogate/wife....The amount of selflessness you show and have is a beautiful thing. I LOVE how Dan explained the compensation with surrogacy. Perfectly explained, Thank You
You can have good intentions and still be wrong about what you are doing. You said that you prayed about it, want the Holy spirit to lead you- and you said that other Christians maybe would think differently. If we serve the same God as the One who IS the authority on the morality of surrogacy, IVF, and the scientific engineering of children- you can be sure that He will give us all the same answer. So what is our standard for truth on these moral concerns? It can’t be the way that you feel or think about it, even with good intentions. You and I both need an objective source of Truth to know how we should live.
The Word says that scripture contains all we need to live a godly and upright life. So, what does it have to say about surrogacy?
We can clearly see all through scripture that it is God who is the One to open and close the womb. Psalm 127 and 128 speak of children being a blessing, ‘the fruit of the womb are His reward’. That is true. So if He is the one to grant this blessing, why do you think you need to step in and “open” a womb that has been closed? God has chosen not to give this couple a baby. That may be incredibly hard for them and for you too, if you have a tender heart that wants to see them raise a child. But God has chosen that for them. Who are you to stand in the place of God and make a baby for them?
I could get into more about how extremely unethical IVF is (with so many embryos frozen that will be ‘thrown away’ thus killing the precious children), how biologically you are turning away from Gods design (you have closed your own womb by choosing to not have more kids ‘for yourself), and a deeper dive into Scripture on the topic but I’ll leave this here.
Brother and sister- look to the Word, not to your feelings, as the final authority on these things.
Soooo very well said. I absolutely agree with what you said.
I’m curious if most of the people that are against surrogacy are parents who conceived without struggles or people that aren’t parents or people that are parents that have struggled with infertility.
I was fortunate and became pregnant by surprise and had some what healthy pregnancies. I am all for surrogacy. The gift you are giving is… life!
You can have empathy for the parents, while still prioritizing and advocating for the rights of the children. It’s SO sad that some struggle with infertility, it’s heartbreaking. But sometimes adults have to sacrifice for the sake of the children rather than ignoring the needs and lives of the children to fulfill the adult’s wishes.
Seems like the judgement does come from people who haven’t struggled in this way as well as from mothers who have a strong identity surrounding giving birth, breastfeeding etc. so sad cause we all want the same things, it’s just more difficult for some people. Surrogacy is hard enough on it’s own, to be constantly judged on top of that is such a harsh thing for a woman to do to another woman.
@@CarolynMcKenna-rx6mvthis is not the case. People who are against surrogacy are against it primarily because of the number of lives that are sacrificed in the IVF process, as well as the number of women in desperate financial situations that surrogacy exploits.
@@stephaniemills549 in the US most clinics follow the guidelines of the America Society of Reproductive Medicine which includes the parameter that the surrogate cannot be in a bad financial situation and not on any type of public assistance. Then there is a psych evaluation for everyone involved so that everyone understands every aspect. There are many protections for both parties and separate legal representation for both parties so there is no exploitation. If you have questions about the process and protections for the surrogate please let me know. What is your connection to surrogacy? Do you know anyone who has worked with a surrogate?
@@stephaniemills549 For surrogacy in the US most clinics follow American Society of Reproductive medicine guidelines including looking at the financial situation of the surrogate and ensuring that they are in a stable state. There are also layers and psychologists involved so maybe you are talking about other countries? Lmk if you have questions about the process. What would you do if you wanted to be a mother desperately and it was affecting your mental health and you do not qualify to adopt? You only get one life! Surrogacy is the embodiment of Christian values to me. It makes me believe in the goodness of humanity and the power of women. Of course guidelines need to be in place for protection but trust women to make decisions on their own.
I always wanted to be an egg donor or be a surrogate but unfortunately for me I went through the menopause and had a full hysterectomy at the age of 23 luckily I’d had 3 children by then.
And this just warms my heart so much xxxx❤❤❤❤❤
You guys are a blessing. ❤
16:09 God also told Hagar that she did nothing wrong, that she and her baby will be looked after, and that Ishmael's family line will also become a great nation. Yes, Sarah treated Hagar badly and kicked her out.. but that was because SARAH was jealous. It had nothing to do with Hagar.
I must comment on the Haggar subject since people add in the Bible. It didnt just turn out bad for her. God promised to bless Ismael too because he was Abraham's son. God said that He will make Ismael a great nation. That story has been so misunderstood and has nothing to do with surrogacy.
I just found you and have been very touched by your story! ❤
I'm a surrogate in South Africa at the moment.. We don't receive compensation at all.. We are only allowed to be reimbursed for our expenses directly related to the pregnancy..
I believe Dan is so in love with you like a love everyone wishes their partner feels about them!! It’s magical ❤
You guys made a lot of good points. I absolutely LOVED being pregnant with and delivering my children. I’m blessed that I haven’t struggled with infertility and I don’t know what I would do in that situation. That being said, I think what is really lacking in the debate and discussion surrounding surrogacy is the baby. I’ve watched so many interviews and documentaries of people born via surrogacy that feel they were purchased, long for a connection they may never be able to have and/or are fighting to change laws regarding surrogacy. I realize y’all intend to continue a relationship with the intended parents after the baby is born but that isn’t the case for everyone. Our society doesn’t want puppies separated from their mothers before eight weeks of age but this baby will long for the familiarity and comfort of the body that carried her. Can and do babies survive without their surrogate after birth? Sure. Do they thrive? That’s up for debate. Many people born via surrogacy say no. Is the desire of adults to be parents to take priority over the well being of a child? Are adults deserving of a child at any cost to the child being created? I never had an issue with surrogacy and used to say it was a beautiful and selfless act of love but I didn’t know all the facts back then. After much research, I’m cautious at best about the fertility industry. I do think one of the most beautiful things about Christianity is that each believer has the freedom to live according to their convictions from the Holy Spirit and I realize we all don’t share the same convictions. I’m not here to judge. I haven’t been in the place of a surrogate or an intended parent. I’m discovering more as I go. I just wanted to share some thoughts about things I’ve learned that have opened my eyes to a different perspective. I would love to hear the thoughts of surrogates and intended parents.
how is being born a surrogate baby different than an adopted baby? I know a few kids that were adopted close to birth and they know they are adopted. Some can see their birth moms again and some can't. Do they feel purchased the same way?
@@RebekahFOnlineTeachingadoption is rescuing a child from an unplanned traumatic beginning. It’s never ideal. Adoption is designed to redeem an already existing broken situation.
Surrogacy is intentionally creating a child with a traumatic beginning to fulfill the desires of the adults.
You would have to ask the people that were adopted. I’ve heard it said that adoption redeems a broken situation and surrogacy creates one. That saying may be referring to a different journey than the one this surrogate and intended parents are on. 🤷🏻♀️ I would think there is trauma in adoption and surrogacy but I would encourage anyone to give a listen to the episode on surrogacy Allie Beth Stuckey did. She interviews a surrogate and it never hurts to hear more perspectives and learn. I’m glad I did.
I’d like to add adoption is a very biblical concept. We are adopted into God’s family when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior. The gospel is the forgiveness and redemption of broken, lost, rejected, sinful, hurting etc. people by God choosing to sacrifice himself for us so we could become his children and join a spiritual family. Adoption is a beautiful reflection of God’s plan that I fail to see in surrogacy. Romans 8:28 says God works all things together for good for those that love Him and are called according to His purposes. Psalm 68:5 says “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families,[c] In adoption, I see the fulfillment of these verses.
@@andreamiller147 That is all true! We are adopted into God's family. I believe that! I also know we were bought at a price. 1 Cor 7:23 "You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.""
The people in the comments are crazy. I wasnt sure I would be able to carry my baby and now that I have I thank God for surrogates. Its a huge thing to go through a preganancy for someone that can't. God bless this family.
the people who can’t get pregnant can just adopt unwanted babies.
"I thank God for surrogates" nah that's a wild saying.
I think what your doing is beautiful❤ I know I couldn’t do it personally because I would get to attached but that’s pretty special that their are people out there like you and your husband😊 you two are super fun to watch and I love seeing how much you two love each other and are there for each other❤ I’m sure God would be pleased by your kindness 🙏 I’m so happy for the couple who is gonna have a beautiful child🎉
Beautiful work 💗
Amen Dan!! You could of not said thall of that any better ❤
Y’all are the best surrogates in the world 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Personally my thoughts on the external voices saying yea or nay on the mission of feeling led in heart and signed off to in the spirit that is all the validation one needs. It wouldn’t be in one’s heart to do something like surrogacy if the Father had not put that kind of live in them. One needs no other approval given, ie pope, pastor etc. Really tbh the pope isn’t exactly in a right mind and spirit anyway, I wouldn’t look to him for any answers one way or the other. Compensation is necessary, one may have their body to lay down for the mission, but doesn’t mean they have the means to do that. The transaction fee as you call it or others. Really is for the upkeep of the vessel and nourishing of the fetus from before implantation transfer until fully recovered no longer bleeding after birth, gaining pre pregnancy condition, both mental and physical, not to mention the emotional and physical undertaking the family Dan and kids have to process along the way.. it’s likely about
1 1/2 year journey isn’t it?! There is a fact called prenatal care and that is expensive. The taxing of your own body, the clothing purchased through pregnancy, the traveling to see natural parents, if one actually added up the costs beginning to end of all the little things that happen from the idea on, the transacting fee wouldn’t even cover the true cost. There is also a risk to Birthing mother, she puts her life on the line, child birthing is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do, it is life threatening. I think people claiming ill gotten gain through transaction like that somehow makes the sacrifice not worthy of the needed compensation for the journey is ludicrous, unless someone’s a millionaire twice over they likely couldn’t do this type of thing for free due to the costs today, unless maybe it was to carry a child for a immediate relative ie sister or a daughter that couldn’t carry. But, my thoughts don’t make it truth, but this is how I would naturally size this up. I love what you all are doing as a family, this gift is a family undertaking and processing of. A lot goes into this that people don’t probably account for in their knee jerk judgement attitudes to the negative. I say as the Father leads you can stand sure in it. Blessings you guys
You expressed all this so well!!! A big ditto!!!! ❤
Except they didn't accept compensation for this last journey. All pro Bono 🙌 because they felt guided by Jesus to bring this baby into his world 🌎 💙 ... truly incredible human beings here. They are perfect for eachother. Because God put Dan and Sam here as his earth angels.
I don't know if you guys personally answer all these questions. I absolutely love you guys. And screw the critics!! I just finished my first Surrogacy Journey end of December.
My son was diagnosed with leukemia the same day I signed finished legal. I did not start this process for the money, But it was literally the only thing that saved me financially.
Save sex couple here. I had my kids through a Sperm donor, I always wanted to pay it forward.
I don't know where you guys stand on gay or same sex couple. But I believe there's good and bad in every person whatever Their beliefs are.
Be kind
Be you
Screw the critics
Easy answer: it's really wrong. As is any artificial method of conception.
To be honest I don’t agree with surrogacy. If this was truly something selfless and your truly helping someone there would be no money involved simple.
Sam is doing this journey completely probono, so there is no money involved. Sam and Dan talk about their journey and how they feel, they are not talking about every person who does surrogacy. Not everyone does it just to be a blessing. But Sam and Dan are.
They already said they want that connection with the parents and the baby by reading and speaking to it so it hears voices regularly. Also letting Jake and Kenzy do the same thing and getting to listen to the heartbeat and getting to be present at doctor’s appointments. Going on vacation together and them staying with Sam and Dan in their house. Being in the delivery room, and considering their desires in the birth plan. They are doing all of that to make Jake and kenzy feel so included in the pregnancy and birth of their own child. She absolutely deserves compensation for the hell her body is going to be going through for the next 9 months. Just because they want to be fairly compensated for the work they put in, doesn’t mean they don’t care.
It all sounds like a good deed but as a Christian bringing a child into the world giving it to another family, what if they don’t raise them up to have a relationship with God, at the end the only thing that matters is where we will be in eternity and risking birthing a child falling into the wrong hands seems like a big risk.
Growing up in a super strict over bearing religion, the part when he said just because it ended bad for them doesn't make it bad. That hit hard, that was the basis of a lot of my religious learning growing up, they used every bad event to be like see that's why we don't celebrate birthdays. Now, as I have unlearned most of that. My emotions ans beliefs have changed so much. Its not mine or any humans right to judge anyone else's decisions. They have to make decisions for what's best themselves, it's not my decision what someone else does with their body or celebrations.
I just finished listening to the video. You are doing a great job in helping your friends. May God bless you both. Carrying a baby is a great responsibility, it requires much more than mere talk. Since you are led but the Lord as His sons, go ahead and keep blessing those around. ❤
If God didn't want it to be possible, it wouldn't have been done. Just saying.
plenty of things that are able to be done that God doesn't want to happen. that's why we have free will. dumb take
You do realize some things are the devil 😂
Excusing being a part of embryos being destroyed is losing me you guys.
EXACTLY, Sam.... THAT was the problem. He slept with Hagar, with his wife's permission....BUT then Sarah started getting jealous and Hagar started gloating and flitting around... THAT was their situation. It is totally different today. You are using your body to grow a baby for a husband and wife who love each other tremendously! This baby is made up of their DNA. YOU are growing her for them. The Hagar comparison doesn't even compare today. You and Dan are such special people. Being able to do this for someone else is AMAZING. Praying God's Richest BLESSINGS on your family, and on Jake and Kinzy's family. I think it is cool how y'all are becoming a family together, too.
❤
Hagar’s story also has nothing at all to do with why Christians oppose surrogacy. They didn’t address any of the real reasons, unfortunately! Instead, they focused on these red herring issues
Fun fact we go to the same dentist I think 😂 kinda neat! I love that dentist
You are right about the Pope. The Pope doesn't acknowledge that the Lord Jesus is the only way. What say does he have in your life. Besides, the Bible clearly tells us not to call any man on earth our Father, because we have one Father in heaven
What about my dad ?
One of the most misused verses that Protestants use to criticize Catholicism 🤣 so do you call your dad father? Because according to that logic you’re not supposed to call ANY man father except God…except there are countless times in the Bible of men being referred to as a father.
I don't think you're criticizing the Pope in good faith. If you were to listen to him speak more often you'd know that he does acknowledge Jesus Christ all the time.
Deeply interesting, be blessed. Always.
The earliest example of “surrogacy” is in the Old Testament (Genesis 16:1-15). The story is told, “Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, 'The Lord has kept me from having children. I think why some people can be on the fence about a “Christian being a surrogate” Many, if not most, Christian bioethicists and legal scholars would agree that commercial surrogacy is morally and legally problematic since it constitutes the sale of a child. Some even claim it is a form of human trafficking.
Yes - especially when couples (or individuals) can buy an embryo and then pay someone to carry it. In those cases, they’re literally buying a child.
The baby is not Dan and Sam's, your body is creating her for her parents. The baby girl is her parent's egg and sperm.
Has anyone told the baby that? Has anyone told her not to grow attached to Sam’s heartbeat, her voice, her smell? Sam has talked about ways that she intentionally detaches… the baby doesn’t get that option
@stephaniemills549 the baby will be going to parents that will treasure & love him/her with all their heart and that is what truly matters.
@@jacquelineazulay6141 the trauma the baby will experience also matters. The other embryos that were sacrificed in the process also matter.
@stephaniemills549 I'm pretty sure that baby will be okay. I was adopted and my birth mom didn't even get to see me. They had a sheet up and whisked me away to the nursery, and I was with a foster family for 8 weeks before my parents adopted me. I have no lasting affects. I had a wonderful childhood with parents who loved me. I met my birth mom when I was 15.
@@CynthiaS82many adopted children are not okay. Many surrogate children are not okay and are advocating for it to be illegal. At least adoption redeems a traumatic beginning… surrogacy intentionally creates it.
This woman is amazing and does the most amazing thing for someone ever. I wouldn't be a dad if It wasn't for a surrogate❤.. and yes im gay... I don't believe god tells you anything you have your own mind and you make your own choices it's nothing to do with god. This is imprinted in people's minds to take it too far by saying having a child for someone on is cruel for the baby . Why that baby isn't hers it's the people's she's carrying it for. Bible study isn't going to make anyone change it's just another way for people to control and make people think a different way. Stop using god for what people do in life
more videos like this!!
If Jake and Kenzie want more kids in the future, will you be their surrogate again?
Have you seen that video that when baby grows in untero their DNA goes into mother's blood and can stay in mums bloodstream for up to 13 years.
I heard it stays in them for the rest of their life
Hi guys, I see you want to be helpful and do something good for others. The parents may have gained a child through this surrogacy. As good, kind and selfless as this act of surrogacy may sound.. may be you can give a thought about what the child will go through? Loss of birth mom is still a loss. We can’t do anything if the child lost their birth parents by death. But in this situation we have a choice. And we surely dont want children to be experience loss the moment they are born, that’s not fair at all for the child.
May be you could do a little bit more research on what children of surrogacy went through, how this affects their growth, sense of identity and mental well being. You could also interview grown up children born out of surrogacy or adopted children who have lost their birth parents. It’s not an easy decision for you I’m sure, but I trust that God designed life as sacred and we should not take it lightly..
Ooo what's the bracelet?
Want to know also.
Will they be staying with you guys after the baby is born for a few days before they go back?
No, baby goes right to Kenzy immediately. Kenz and Jake will have their own hospital room but will obviously spend time with Sam and Dan, their kids will meet the baby, Sam will hold the baby etc but not right away
@@debbiehirsch1416 I think she meant will Jake, Kenzy and the Baby stay with them for a few days to get to know baby before travelling home to Florida 😌 Obviously they won’t be keeping the baby for a few days, that’s already been discussed by them as not happening or appropriate, but it’s a lot to take a baby you’ve just met and started to bond with across the country to Florida!
@@mollyrice1578she's not going to bond !! It's not her baby , the baby will go directly to the parents the baby is their child!!!!
@@Tweety22. again, I’m talking about Jake and Kenzy bonding and adjusting to parenthood, not Dan and Sam!
You guys have spoken alot about the parents… but what about the baby? You guys can do everything in your power to have a mindset prepared for giving up baby and receiving baby… etc… but that sweet baby girl is going to be taken from you and she grew in you and having seen how instant my own babies knew I was their mom & needed me. I feel for her. God made the whole process of bringing children into the world and every bit of our make up intentionally designed to connect with our children through pregnancy. Birth. Breast feeding. Skin to skin. Your heart beat. Your voice. It begins at implantation and it’s all for her! Are those things you consider? I haven’t heard you speak on it.
So I know that Sam plays mom and dad talking and reading a book to baby so that baby is hearing those voices regularly. Jake and Kenzi visit frequently so baby is familiar with her parents voices. When baby arrives she will go straight for skin to skin with Kenzi and Jake not Sam. Breastfeeding is neither here nor there. Some can’t or don’t choose to breastfeed. Some mothers use donor milk. An intended mother can induce lactation if she wishes.
It really sounds like you guys are trying to convince yourself that doing this is okay.
@@buckeyehcwhy is it not ok though? This couple are not having affairs or betraying their marriage vows. They felt led to bless another Christian couple unable to have their own with a baby. I’m finding it so hard to figure out what is wrong or sinful about surrogacy? Please help me… I’m curious as a Christian.
@@rachelpauley6843because they’re putting the desires of the adults above the well-being of the baby. We don’t even take puppies from their mothers for the first couple months. The baby knows nothing of its DNA - it just knows the voice, smell, and heartbeat of the mother that grew it. Even though babies bond with their dads and may recognize their voice, there is something that is different between a baby and its mother - the mother who carried it - and everyone who has experienced being a parent knows this.
@@rachelpauley6843 agree with stephanie. Also, children are not to be bought and sold. While Dan and Sam had high standards for the intended parents, not all surrogates are like that. Recently, a pedophile was arrested. He'd been in the process of paying a surrogate to have a baby boy for him to rape. He shared his plan online. Also...While Dan and Sam did not intend for embryos to be wasted, they are a part of a system that allows human embryos to be thrown away. And this is not in the baby's best interest. Dan and Sam are empathizing with the intended parents rather than the baby. I strongly believe that Dan and Sam know deep down that what they're doing is immoral, it sounded like they were rationalizing their decision in this video.
Do you stay in contact with the first couple you did surrogacy with!?
Yes! She did
She doesn’t. The parents chose to be private
Are you guys against gay people?
No they're not
@@Tweety22.oh thank god. So happy to hear that
Bros wife is community property
Every woman should be a mother and if this means surrogacy then I'm all for it, I was going to donate my eggs but unfortunately too old 🫣🙄 you are awesome!! I always said as a child I wanted to be a surrogate with my health I couldn't but your an amazing person!!!
Your husband is awesome!
Xx