Fridays with Tab and Chance - Episode: Conversations before the Death of a Spouse or Parent
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ต.ค. 2024
- Death is never easy for parents, children or spouses. I know it’s hard but it is really important to have these conversations. They can prevent double heartache later. We love y’all!
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As a widow it's a conversation to have. We ended up having it because of a movie one night, not knowing I'd actually loose him in the coming months. It is important to be open, honest, and unselfish.
Amen Love,
I lost my husband January 2022
and we both talked about it.But actually we refused to listen.Not
understanding until he became
very I'll. VERY, VERY GOOD ❤️ ❤️
We would have made 40 years
February 14th this month.
Blessings@Stacy Ikner
@@Ministercheryl6601 😢 Oh reading that scared me a little. Blessings to you sis🙏🏿✨
@@Ministercheryl6601 so sorry for your loss. Sending prayers, love and hugs your way
@@Ministercheryl6601 God bless you to grieve healthily & thoroughly. My heart beats w/yours. I will be praying for you!
Reading all of your comments, I want to extend my condolences to all of you who have experienced loss.
I remember my old pastor was dying of cancer, he picked a husband for his wife. He picked her a husband because she had been a wife for over 40 years to him and he was the only man she knew. He wanted her to be happy and stress free. She was a beautiful woman and mother. Even after he announced what he had done, folks still tried to whisper. I thought that was an admirable thing! She is still to this day with her second husband. It has been over 17 years.
Wow, interesting, and thoughtful!
Wow!!! How unselfish is that???? Wonderful first husband!!!! This leaves me speechless. 💛💛💛❤️
"Tell ol' boy, she coming with me" had me cracking up!
I see Chance admiring Tab❤️🥰 he even joined in on singing a bit lol😂🥳
Tab and Chance, my husband passed away in 2010, I have no desire to marry again. I think about him every day. It takes a lot of energy to be in a relationship, then once you get to know and understand each other, to start again that's the hesitance. I thank God for what I had in the past. God bless you and Chance life together.
Blessings to you
I lost my husband in 2015, he was the best man I ever had however we didn’t get a full chance to talk about this and to be completely comfortable with it. We did have this conversation actually 3days before he passed away. I didn’t think I would want to start life over again, but I did only because he gave me peace in the conversation with me moving on. So I did move on even now In my new life of moving forward, I’m still missing him and questioning my partner because he’s not totally what I had in my husband. Which I had to understand that doesn’t make him a bad person. So all and all you have to not be so hard on yourself if or when you move on to new love.. Praying that God gives us all strength and peace as widows..
I met this older widow who's husband died in the early 2000's I believe and she said she would never marry again because she's still very much in love with her husband and no one could take his place. So you're not alone.
I think more women tend to feel this way.
I understand this.
My parents were married 45 years. I lost my mother four years ago. My father started dating after a year. My sister's was very upset. But my dad needed some type of companionship. He was starting 2 declines. And it's what my mother wanted. She knew my dad couldn't be alone. I must say. Even though he has a lady friend. My mother took half of my dad with her. He is so different now.
It's usually like that with men, especially if he's very dependent of his spouse. We don't know what if any conversation has been had between couples, and as sad it may seem that's not our business. We don't get to dictate our parents life.
😔 🙏🏾 for you and family
@@JM-qg9bo true!
It’s definitely important to know how to function without one another after your spouse dies.
Chance said make a statue of him and put it in the bedroom... and Tab said she ready to haunt the house if a new woman lays on her side of the bed.
Tab and Chance are both hilarious. Honestly, this is an important conversation for couples and families. Thank you for this video.
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This conversation is so important to have. I just passed the 2 yr mark of my husband's death in November. I don't really remember having this talk. It was my oldest child who expressed she wanted me to date again. At one point I asked what type of man she wanted me to date. Boy was she detailed 😂 but she provided amazing qualities for a man to have. But it still wasn't until recently that I even opened up to the possibility of dating again. I'm still not ready to date but having my daughter say I just want a dad again hurts. I would rather her father was still here. But since he's not I just tell my girls pray for God to send me a man. And they do it loud and in public 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂 not loud and in public
Awwww 🥲🥲😂😂😂 mixed emotions but so sweet
I've been a widower for 2 months now and it is a new chapter in my life. We've been married for 23 years and it's hard at times, but I know my wife would want me to get on. I'm not thinking about remarrying unless God shows me different. Right now I'm focusing on my children and ministry. But I'm moving on in Jesus 🙏🏽. Thanks for sharing this.
4 months here, married 22 years. Best to you.
It's been 2 yrs for me. Together 30 yrs from high school. I just try to keep going. God bless you all.
Blessings to you
It’s been 1 year … was married 42 years . There are still hard days 💔
As a bedside clinician I have helped many families during the transition of a loved one. It is those conversations that were never spoken that make the initial grief process especially difficult. What if we taught our children from a young age about the reality of death? That death is not something to be feared and gave them the tools to process grief in a healthy way.
Aaaaaamen! Educating them to it’s stags & that it’s IMPERATIVE TO COMPLETE THE PROCESS B4 A NEW RELATIONSHIP!
My grandmother married at 16, had her first child at 17, second child at 18, and her third at 19. My grandfather died when she was 27 and she never remarried or dated anyone else. She's in her 70's now
DAMN!!!
Whew chile my dad died in 2021 and Monday is his birthday. Loosing a parent when you young is hard. I definitely needed this 😢thank you Tab and chance
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes! My dad died in 2021 too & his birthday is on the 28th. It has been so hard but this conversation between Tab and Chance gave me another perspective! Sending you love Keya❤️
People in families hardly talk about how this affects people. I pray every day I don’t lose my mind if I have to face this cause grief sounds like a lot. Truly. My deepest condolences
My husband unexpectedly passed away 7 years ago and we were married almost 18 years with 4 children. I completely agree with the statement of people grieve differently. I love the proactive conversations with the children that Chance mentioned. I said I wouldn’t be with anyone else yet God had different plans for me so I am now remarried to another wonderful man. We have to give people grace and let them live their life how they see fit. Great conversation topic!
Thank you for talking about this! My husband died 2 years ago, we didn’t talk about this nearly enough or in depth. It’s a very tough thing to discuss. I’m still trying to figure out life. I’m so glad that I have the assurance that we will see each other again when the time comes. I’m glad I have Jesus, my church family and my family.
I don’t use that App unfortunately
It's been 8 years for me. We never had the conversation. I just haven't found anyone and it's ok
With all Tab and Chance have going on i'm so grateful that they take the time for these sessions. Please know that it means alot.
Me and my husband had that Conversation before he died in 2015, it's been 7 yrs and I had plenty time to move on and I just decided that I wasn't ready! Because I still find it hard to move forward because he was my everything!
It’s the same for me I lost my husband in 2015, but I knew I wanted to experience life with someone because we had that conversation. It has definitely been challenging since he was my everything, however me finally moving on wasn’t as bad. I still cherish the memories we had.
@@temeikawilliams2790 I truly understand
I pray that God Bless me to meet someone special 🙏 it has to be in God's timing 🙏 Thank you for reaching out
I love those sweatshirts!! Great topic! I turned 62 on Feb. 1st and my husband 64.
Tab took me out with “That ain’t cho business “ 😭😭😭 they are both hilarious. I hope one day I have this type of connection with someone 🫶🏾
I lost my husband 2 years ago, and I know he would want me to be happy, but i would never want anyone else.
I feel like he is my husband, and will always be my husband. We will be together again in heaven. We were married for 30 years when he went to be with the Lord, we also have 4 children.
I'm so sorry for your loss 😢😔
Sorry for your loss! I pray the lord continues to renew your strength ❤
Just loss my father in December & my parents had been married for 23 years 💔 grieving is so hard , but I’m taking it one day at a time ❤ these conversations are very important !
It's been a year since my husband of over 36 years. On Sept 16, 2021 we had breakfast and talked about this conversation not knowing we would walk out the door and within 30 min he had a massive heart attack. He was on a ventilator and hooked up to every machine to keep him here. He never wanted to be on a machine, but I also told him that same day. I didn't give life and I wouldn't take life. He passed Jan 24th 2022. I would love to be married again, but if it's not in God's will I'll be ok. I can never erase 36 years. My kids are not having a new man although their 34,35 and 37.
I guess never being alone since I was 18 he was the only person in my life. My mom and dad had 12 children and she never married again when my dad died. She lived 30 years after his death. I said I never wanted to marry again, but I think my mind is changing. Y'all be blessed
I wouldn’t want my spouse to be alone. I’m gone. We had a great run, be happy, babe! ❤
I love me some Chance, he is changing and getting more expressive I love it. ❤️
If God allows you time, please have the conversation with the children. I was 12 when my dad passed, suddenly. As a grown woman, whose mother has not remarried, (yet) I could not have handled another man around her at anytime before adulthood. I was not in a place to see life through her eyes. It is important for children to understand that the living parent is just trying to maintain the best the know how. That will look different for each parent. Please include children in these conversations. ❤
This is a good topic! Love it!
I be singing that Friday song with y’all . 😃
It is so crazy that this is the topic this week. I found out I almost lost my father and I am not over the loss of my mother in 2019. It hurts, I almost lost my mother's only remaining sibling, my uncle earlier last year. I feel death is far too close to my house and I am so tired of it. My husband lost a friend he knew from work this week. Thank you for sharing the gems and wisdom that you share here. You are a blessing more than you know. ❤️
You might be going through a number 9 personal year. Maybe even a 6. Either way, I hope youre able to find some peace this year.
I have lost a lot of loved ones over the years, too. I encourage you to find a therapist if you haven’t. I also would recommend GriefShare. They have support groups in person and via Zoom. Sending love and prayers your way. 🙏🏻
🙏💐
These two are my absolute FAVORITE couple!
This is such an important video! In addition to having the conversation, create an estate plan. Make a will and if possible create a trust. Buy life insurance. Update your beneficiaries on things like your bank accounts. Too many people leave their loved ones in the dark with a lot to figure out and no starting point.
And tell people your last wishes or if you want a DNR. Get it signed and locked in place.
This conversation is really needed with all of us. Thank you.
This was so on point. A very welcoming topic. It is definitely up to the other person to decide after the loss of a husband or wife... My mother passed first and I think my dad grieved in silence. With my twins and I living with my parents during her sickness allowed my mom time to enjoy her grandsons. They were only five when she died and I believe that staying on even after she passed with my dad allowed him to enjoy them even more. Being able to watch them grow up kind of gave him a sense of purpose again. I believe that helped in the healing process. Whichever way the tables turn family has got to be there regardless. 💜🙏🏽
WOW Tab & Chance, How Did Yall Know, I Just Lost My DaDDy on 1/21/2023 😭 💔& Yall Came With This Episode This FriDay, Thank Yall 🙏🏽.... Still in my HomeTown #ATL, GA, spending time with my MoMMy!! 🙁
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's beautiful how on point Tab's timing always is. She really is doing God's work.
@@Pal3sa, Thank U & yes they r, Rgt. 😇
Prayers so sorry for your loss
My condolences to you and your family. I truly understand what you are going through.
@@e.martin1994, Thank U Much. 😇
Thank y'all for the love 💕💕💕💕
This was a serious episode and much-needed, but it also gave me a good laugh! Have a good weekend everybody!
As a Caregiver for 32 Years, in most cases the husband goes first, and the wives felt like no one could replace their Amazing Husbands, and just traveled with friends, Loved on the grandkids, and enjoyed their favorite hobbies!
Love these 2 love birds they are so much fun, I tune with each other and they still have belly laughs after 24 yrs that's amazing. Love the topical discussion today. I don't believe I've heard such discussions before. Chance demonstrated his selfless, unconditional Love for tabs by what he said it speaks volumes of him as a Man, Gather, and Husbab. Love Tabs ending it was classic. There's only one Tabs and she will haunt you out! Keep up the work lovely couple. I feel a Podcast is beckoning with You and Tabs when the time is right. Love the intimacy of this still though. Be blessed all have an amazing week.
I love y'all from Alabama,stay safe and be blessed!!!💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Wow as I watched this me and my husband took your topic to discuss. After 22 years I don’t see me ever doing this again.
Thank you for having this discussion Tab & Chance 💜💜
You guys are a beautiful couple😊
Tab you made a good point about losing a parent and the inability to get another one, versus losing a spouse.
Thanks for having this important conversation. It’s much needed.
LOL LOL he said “Jody” I lost it! and yup wives are going to be a ghost. GREAT TOPIC🙌🏾🫶🏾🤎
Much Detroit love to you my gorgeous brown sugar your spice is offered at targets to buy I can't wait hope you'll get it at Walmart as well and Krogers 😇🎉🥰💯‼️ I just lost my uncle on Tuesday at age 70 when I feel broken hearted. Have a blessed evening both of you and Chance 🥰💯‼️📺📽️💎🍾🙋🏻♀️
So sorry for your loss, peace love and blessings from redford township mi 🙏💐
I love you two as well as the hoodies they are fly!
I lost my husband 4 yrs ago & we had a brief discussion of wanting each other to move on, when we were faced with the "death due us part" came about. We never had this conversation with our children. I agree with Tab. I won't remarry again. Been there done that but I am in a relationship
Tabitha! Please do not think I am crazy but I literally had a dream about your mother two days ago. We had a heartfelt conversation about you and my mother. I made a video about it but just didn’t have the courage to post or share it with you. And then I look and see what your topic for today is and I am wondering what is God trying to tell me! Anyway, I’m at work in the bathroom crying because I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know why and I haven’t even watched your video yet lol
🤔
Praying for Ricky Smiley who lost his son! He had me crying watching him grieving on his video, I had to change the channel and watch something that I knew would lift my spirit up! Tab and Chance do it for me every time!❤️
This is a hard subject for me to talk about considering my husband passed away. He was my soulmate and I find it hard dating and trusting another man
A very much needed conversation to be had!
Wow! How timely is this video. Today is one year since we laid my husband to rest. Today has been challenging. It’s so weird because we did have these conversations and he actually prepared me for death intentionally and unintentionally. We have two very small children and all though I know his wishes for our life, it’s hard for me to imagine a new life. I keep God first and focus on my #HealingJourney for now and trust the plans that God has for me and our children. I’m so grateful that God blessed us with children because I don’t know if I would have been able to do this without them even though it’s so challenging.
I love how you spotlighted that every persons grief is different, IT IS NOT THE SAME! My prayer is that people become more loving and gentle with others.
My condolences. 🫂🙏🏾
God bless you & keep you and your family strong.
When you lose a spouse, you mind will drift away like you will be carried slowly by a current of air. You will never stop thinking about your life together. Keep Praying
Men move on quickly because having the support and to be nurtured by a woman is usually a high priority.
Women me in particular I was 33 with 2 children 11months and 5yrs old, so our concerns are based on children and trying to heal going through the different stages of grief is alot and also being great actress for your children your healing takes longer because you're constantly faking your happy for the children.. Love you both.
A video everybody needs to hear!! So please share!! I was woman that went through this!! I lost my husband of 28 years!!! We talked about it. But me and my family tried to avoid it!! He would threw stuff in here and there. Then one day he so serious! The next day he passed!! How everything was planned out. I know God told him or showed him. Anyways I’m thankful!! But it’s hard it been 2 years and 5 months!! Everybody grieve differently!! For yourself and kids. Thanks you guy for putting this video out!! People need to hear it!!🥰
There was a couple back home where I come from. They were married over 60 years, she passed first and within hours he passed.❤❤
Yes, ppl can die from a broken heart.
I'd die if my husband died. I'd probably never date again because these men today are very different, and unsafe
Chance said a Staples Center Statue in the front yard. I hollared!😂😂😂😂
This is much needed mature conversation!! Thx Tab&Chance
My husband said if he passes first and i date someone else he's going to stalk me from the dead😂. He said that i also need to get his body stuffed so I can keep it in the house😂😂... Nooo sir.... way to creepy😂
Thank y’all for this convo! I lost my sister 9yrs ago and it’s still weird for me to see her husband with someone else. I just can’t shake the feeling but I’m glad he’s happy!
Y’all are JUST TOO CUTE!
First visit to your channel. I will listen fully and then give a secondary comment.
This conversation must be had! I lost my husband suddenly November of 2021.
I lost mine suddenly in Nov. 2022. Praying for you; pray for me.
@@learninghealingmentoringgr5578 I’m so sorry for your loss!
Thank you for talking about this!!! it is so important in our lives ...my mother taught us about death very young she always say God brought us here but we never going to know when he'll take us so to say get ready thing are definitely different now days it's just no age any more I remember growing up it used to be the elderly but the important thing in death is having insurance cause my mother would not want her family members sell dinners or car washes always told if you can get your done hair you can purchase a policy Please in my experience teach your family members about death at a young age my finding it won't be so traumatize to the young 🙏🏽💕✌🏽
This happened to my grandma. She got sick. Had a stroke was living in that conduction for almost 15 years. My grandpa at that time, healthy as all can be. Once he got sick he passed with in 2 years then a year later on the same day my grandma passed. He came to get his wife.
Wow! This is an awesome video. We don’t want to talk about this topic but it’s necessary. 🥰
Yaaasss! We always look forward to Friday's with Our SoilBrotha and SoilSista Tab & Chance 💖💖 Bring The Beat Back 🤣
I lost my dear friend, my mother on October 21, 2018.It's been the hardest thing that I've ever experienced. She was a beautiful woman and she ministered to many. She taught us the way of The Most High. I'm very thankful for that. I loved her very much. ❤❤❤❤
Between 2018 and 2020 I lost my mother, my step mother, both grandmothers, my last great grandmother and my matriarch of a great aunt. Every single one of their husbands had somebody serious within a year… my step dad already had someone that my brother swears my mom knew of silently approved of… her moms husband flew in a Thai woman 6 months after my granny passed… Unc got with the neighbor… pops has a was living with another woman a year later… great grand dad got one of the church members… I was pissed and upset and couldn’t help but think that they were all just moving too fast. One of my cousins asked “what’s too fast” and I couldn’t really answer. But I’m glad they’re happy.
Great conversation. My mom recently passed. She and my dad were together for 49 years. He said he's content in his happiness. He lost the love of his life"
This did my heart so good. I loss my husband in 2021 and I can relate to a lot of what has been shared here. As of now I have no interest in a new relationship. I am glad that Tab and Chance took the opportunity to bring awareness to this type of topic. Love your love and energy towards each other. This is definitely an example of couple goals for many. I pray that the both of you continue to love each other and your family and wishing you both continual success. Your a blessing.❤️
Y’all still gone give us some giggles ❤ even through this conversation.
It's also important for adult children to have this convo with their parents.
This is such a tough conversation, but sadly, one that is so important. Thank you for taking the time to discuss such a delicate matter in a meaningful, loving way and giving us a way to smile about in the process. 🙏🏽❤️
This was so timely as we just lost our mom on 1.25 of this year. Thanks Tab for you and your husband sharing on this topic.
Chance said "tell oh boy you coming with me in the after life" 😏
❤ it!
What a great conversation! I'm glad to hear someone else mention the pod burial; it's beautiful and sustainable.
My mom passed 2021 then my dad 2022 from a broken heart. He gave up after my mom passed. They were married 52 years. For me, everyday is a struggle right now.
My grandad lost his wife (my grandmother) on December 4th,2022 after 55 years of marriage. 🙏🏽 his whole life revolved around her. he was a very good husband, never left her side. He’s a retired veteran and is still active physically, in his right mind, drives a nice big truck and still getting around. He said “i have no life now that Shirley is gone”. It’s easy to say but it’s very hard to move on after being married and in love for so long. 🙏🏽🕊️ ❤️ grieving has no time limit.
Hey Pastors Chance &vTab! This is a wonderful topic, I hadn’t even thought about this. I’ll be embarking upon a new marriage as my marriage is in process of dissolution - permitted by God. I definitely will keep this topic in my pocket for the future. Flip-side … Y’ALL NVR DISAPPOINT, I PEED THIS TIME, THO. Yuuuuz MY FRIDAY COMIC RELIEF. TY! Sincerely!
I agree Tabitha and Chance, it's very important to have this conversation beforehand. My husband and I have talked about how we both want to be buried and also to our children. We both want to be buried together in the same plot. February 5th is our 51 year old Wedding Anniversary! I will be 75 years old on March 5th and my husband will be 79 years old on August 3rd. We said said that we will never get married again if one of us dies first. What I have with my husband, I know that I will never find again. The Lord put us together and we truly through the years became one and we Thank God for our Union together everyday. 🙏❤ Peace and Blessings Tabitha and Chance Always. 🙏❤🙏❤
I gotta comment again because this was one of my favorite episodes. Even tho it’s a very tough topic, the episode was filled with love.
Tab leads with love & grace & Chance is never shy about letting us know how much he loves Tab. It’s refreshing to see this type of relationship. Not putting them on a pedestal but they are an amazing example of what a lot of us younger people want out of a relationship.
Just tuning in to the episode. Definitely in this space at the moment as I lost my father in August 2023 and going through the grieving process. Some days I feel alright and then there days where I'm just out of it emotionally, sad, not wanting to be around a lot of people.
Happy birthday Tab 🎉
Thank you SOOOO much for this video!!! I just lost my mother in law a fee months back and my father in law is currently trying to move on and i just needed this video. God is good.
Chance be looking in total amazement.
I Love this segment because this is one conversation that is always overlooked but need to be had. Another important thing just to add, is HOW you want go. If you make it known, it will save a LOT of fighting once you’re gone. For me, keep it CHEAP&SIMPLE! I’m dead and I don’t need NOBODY wasting unnecessary money that’ll I’ll NEVER be able to thank you for it. I LOVE YALL 🥂💕💕💕💕
Well glad this came across for me
Lost my husband less than a mo ago.
We talked about the what if’s, home going service details, obit, and all in place but still so much we didn’t think to talk about. Of course we thought we had more time he was not sick and left a legacy and big shoes to fill.
I am thankful for our many years of marriage, his relationship with Christ and all the good times we shared.
Chance wasn't having it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I just love y’all 😂😂 but much needed conversation we must all have with our families ❤
Tab and Chance I loved this. My husband passed away in 2010 and I remember talking to him about me not getting married again. My life has changed so much since that day. I keep my self busy with different things to help me with my grief. Even though it’s been almost 13 years in May I have my days and moments for sure. Thanks for sharing this with us. I love you all! ❤️🙏🏽🫂😘
Great topic! Thank you for this episode.
Yes y’all are Love 💕🙏🏽🙏🏽 “And he who abide in love abides in God”
This is a must conversation for each couple ❤❤❤
This is Nikki from KMN L.A. Thank you for talking about this. Today is the 5 year anniversary of losing my soul mate husband. He told me the same thing Chance said. I have someone who loves me and loved my husband too. I don't have a pain free moment nonetheless. But I carry on in his name.
You two crack me up, even during difficult topics! Much love xo
Yes we we said the same thing, we would never marry again. My husband and I are high school sweethearts and we been married 27 years. I can’t see myself with anyone else but if I did date, I won’t marry again…I love these sessions and your relationship. It remind me of my marriage and I love y’all ❤❤❤❤🙏🏾🙏🏾
I wonder how many times did the camera man laugh at these two!!! And if he understands who “Jody” is😂 THAT PART - a FOREVER LAUGH🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There's no camera man.
@@Kayla-po3uo actually they do use one, perhaps not each time but as mentioned in previous vids, of late, they use a camera person
Being a widow for little over a year this is a conversation that needs to be had. However when you are in the actual situation your perspective changes depending on your emotions, your wants, needs and how you are grieving. I also agree children should be a part of the conversation their feelings matter but at the end of the day it's the grieving person's heart that takes precedence.
Why I love them sooo much...I got tears in my eyes just with the song! I am soooo happy for yall and seeing BLACK LOVE!!! THANK U FOR ALL YALL BEEN THROUGH TO BE HERE FOR US TO SEE YALL!! HUGS!!
This is such an important conversation. We've been married 49 years and we've had a version of this conversation several times. It's refreshing to hear you all talking about this in this way.
Tabitha is so cray - whoo - whooo, too funny, and a staples Center Statue? Here's to a long life for you both. I'm cracking up 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I absolutely love you two!🤎🤎🤎🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🤎🤎🤎
I’ve been a widow for almost 4 years. My husband and I were married for 23 years. And he was only 50 when he passed away. I was 45 and I kept saying this can’t be real! I had to talk to my son and daughter that eventually I want the companionship again. My son is not feeling that at all! I always say to him it’s important for me to have happiness and I did all the vows in my marriage. So in the eyes of the Lord I can marry again.