ไม่สามารถเล่นวิดีโอนี้
ขออภัยในความไม่สะดวก
Is a woman REQUIRED to SERVE her IN-LAWS? | Fajr Khatira | Imam Nadim Bashir
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2023
- Please LIKE, COMMENT, & SHARE!
© EPIC Masjid
Reciter: Shaykh Sajjad Gul - Principal of EPIC Masjid's Darul Quran Hifdh School.
Here is his playlist:
• Shaykh Sajjad Gul
This is a good reminder. I am always surprised that many sheiks/imans do not talk about subject like this. By avoiding talking about it just encourage people to keep to their cultures and customs which are not in line with what Islam teach us. Scholars/sheiks keep telling us that a husband must obey his parents but very few want to advise the parents not to take advantage of the situation and make life miserable for the daughter-in-law.
I don’t know why do some men think their wives have to serve their parents. If the woman volunteers to do so, then Alhamdulilah and if she doesn’t, she’s not sinful either. Besides I wonder why there’s so much emphasis on women serving the husband’s parents…what about the husband serving the wives parents? Nobody talks about that. It’s both ways. Each one’s parents deserve to be treated with utmost respect and kindness
men are superior to women and can beat their wives as quran 4:34 suggests. women are prohibited to become leaders of a family or a nation, because God made men superior to women, be it in a family or a nation. business related testimonies requires understanding and intelligence of how trade works or regulated. when the prophet said women are deficient in intelligence, he said the reason is testimony of two women equal to one man's testimony, which refers to 2:282 of QURAN (related to business and not menses)." I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you (women)." - quote by prophet Muhammad. Reference : Sahih al-Bukhari 304; In-book reference : Book 6, Hadith 9.
when will you hypocrites ever admit in public with honesty that men are superior to women in your religion in case of gender roles? your religion says that women cannot be leaders of a country or nation; husbands are superior to their wives and can beat their wives; wives should prostrate their husband figuratively; women are deficient in intelligence and religion; etc. etc. when will you hypocrites become honest people admitting honest truths and facts of your religions and cultures?
Yeah, right sister. In India, some families only marry their sons so that a female comes to lessen the burden of household chores. Me, being a male, even I dont agree to this. Shaikh Asim al hakeem, said in one of his videos,the bride is NOT a servant for the house that you get in marriage.
In a perfect world woman keeps her own mother with her and the MIL can live with her own daughter.
Well said.. it's my mind voice too
U are quite right
I was raised with the values to be : respectful ; kind & caring { jazakallah to my mum }.
I won't lie both as a wife and as a daughter in-law its not easy living in the same house as other woman.
My mother in law jokingly asked in front of everyone who will care for me when I am old and no longer able? Myfather in-law in his late 60's unexpectedly got cancer , I take care of him...I thank Allah S. W . T for the sabr he has bestowed upon me.
May Allah make it easy for all my sisters out there that are faced with conflict in their marriages.
Jazakallah brother for this topic.
Repeat reminder lectures is needed every time so all new generations girls and boys are well educated on this.
In Somali culture if the parents are elderly they live with their biological daughters and she can still be the 'woman of the house'. She never worries about being disrespected in her own home or any of these bs issues. Subcontinent brothers/sisters need to change this aspect of the culture because its causing families to crumble, and its not like the sons are doing the labour anyway.... There's a million khutbahs on the same issue that never changes the practical reality. The women simply shouldn't have to live with or cater to in-laws unless its an absolute necessity. talking rosy about goodness and islam doesn't change the innate need for every woman to be the captain of her home, and mil not being able to relinqush control.
Well said
But islamically it is not her responsibility.
@@thesabiqoon4178of course it is. When Allah talks about caring for parents He speaks to the children. Now children means both sons and daughters. There are families where there are no sons, only daughters. Surely you don't mean their daughters can just abandon and not help their parents. But it is true sons have increased and specific responsibilities.
It make sense .it means somali' s are more sensible .
Because its not only biological son responsibility only daughter are also responsible for taking care of her parents .
I have enough experience serving In laws...mother in law, father in law and brother & sister in law....the most miserable experience ever...something that can totally destroy you but I would like this brother to reverse the wife's role and let him serve his in laws cooking and taking care of their needs for 1 month the way he expects the wife to do and then lay out the rules
Poor u.
U shouldn't be living In the same house as ur brother inlaw.
People don't understand that.
He is ur non mahram .
These people choose culture over religion
Jazak Allah Khayrun for addressing this important joint family issue that many marriages are facing and/or ending up in talaq divorce because married couples are either unaware or choose to ignore the Deen boundaries set by Islam...Alhumdulillah I myself survived such an oppressive marriage of serving my in-laws family while the husband was out working in a joint family for a few years, and it was a great challenging test by The Almighty Lord ALLAH SWT and only when I separated and sought out this type of knowledge like this due to my lack of ignorance, did I realize what type of situation I was in as described here and all married couples should learn of their own marital rights that they together be successful in their futures.
Excellent clarification Sheilkh ! Please continue to clarify such sensitive topics . JazakAllah Kharain Katheera 🤲❤️
May ALLAH rewards all goodness to all muslimah sister for all the happiness they given to others sincerity in life , to all sister that facing hardship with in -law may ALLAH rewards us for being SABR ,cause one day we too become in-law and be a good persone in it and Do not Follow the past experiences to be continuing in FUTURE life , much love from Nor , Singapore ❤
Mashaa Allah, great topic! Assalam O Alikum! Beautiful recitation! ♥️♥️♥️
Allahuakbar.Amazing lecture.Its the real truth happening in everyday life brother.
One of the main solution to this problem is, the couples should move out to a separate home right after marriage. And when the parents become old they can move to the parents house for help. And it would be better for the parents to stay with their daughters when old for them to feel comfortable.
I have only one son, no daughter. We live separately, but God forbid if we live to become too old , where do we go ? Allah Tallah is there.
@@nasreenkhan2716 I just made a general statement, everything depends on the family's situation. If you treat your daughter in law with love surely you will get it back in sha allah. Just make sure you choose a lady who fears Allah.
@@nasreenkhan2716 of course to your son, no righteous women would refuse his old parents into the home to be looked after. Similarly true for a husband
It is not the responsibility of the daughter who is married into another family but the son's. That is why son gets 2/3 share in inheritance of property, daughter only 1/3. A daughter cannot keep parents in law and parents in same house
@@nasreenkhan2716 right. And when you have raised your son for years and gotten him educated so he can earn, shouldn't he serve you in your old age? Daughter in law should be treated with love and respect but she must look after you too. In India that's our philosophy
Thank you for addressing this issue
Most husbands think it‘s the duty of the wife to serve the family her whole life 24/7
It comes from cultural practices of Sub-continent
@@rabyaahmed2817 Born into the wrong culture
Muslims get your priorities in order. Too many divorces are going on because of the in-law's problems. Husbands get a grip on your in-laws, they're not supposed to be controlling your family like that, especially your wife/wives. May الله give the men of the ummah backbones to take back control of their families according to Quran and Sunnah. Follow the ways of our beloved prophet muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم and you guys should turn out just fine. May الله help the marriages of the ummah moving forward! 💙😔🤍اللهم امين
same can said about wifes, who only do what their mothers and sisters tell them.
how can you let husband lead if wife is always on attack mode. women cannoy lead period!
Relax bro....while both men/women can be the cause of a divorce, in reality, in some cultures, it's mostly the men's fault or inaction. And this is coming from a married man. Do we fulfill the basic rights of a women if all live in a joint family? If she is kind enough to do so then we need to understand each person's rights and boundaries according to quran/sunnah as the sheikh mentions here. May Allah give us understanding and sabar.
@@rezca9889
Akhaan, if everything was clear to women for before marriage , she agrees to marriage , she has no valid reason to complain because thats only thing they good at.
of course if you be abusive and not give rights. husband will be balmed.. the problem is when women tries to be man of house.. No husband will tolerate it
@@farhank8336 You seem like you're good at complaining too, bro. "The problem is..." "That's the only thing they good at"... "Women cannot lead.." etc. And who makes things clear to the wives? The in-laws or the women's parents? If they are being told to get married to X or Y or Z, often the women will be cajoled or coerced into marrying so and so. That means they are complying to fulfill their parent's wishes. In that case, they're not getting any clarity, they're being made to follow a 'choice', 'pick one of these matches/or else'. Another thing, God does not like oppressors. The Prophet PBUH was not a burden on his wives but did some of his own chores himself. And he has been quoted as saying: "The best of you are those who are best to your wives." It is not about 'giving clarity' nor it 'not being a big deal' [It is, it's the running of the household/family dynamics] but about RIGHTS in Islam. You will be held accountable for what you have done and to whom. I pray that you and I and everyone else here will be able to meet our Creator with peace in concerns to this issue because rights and justice and equity are big deals in religion and you affect the future generations when they take in what you do or do not do. Some women will leave the folds of Islam due to disturbing behaviors and patterns which are cultural---not religious--implementations and THAT is a problem. May Allah grant us all understanding and sabr as the other brother said.
@@dimitrirousseau1910 looks like your wife on leash on you. may Allah allow you to man that you were suppose to be.
You dont need to vent your issues toward me. solve it like muslim man.
Allah bless you and your family.
MashaAllah ...very good topic...loved the other 2 topics also...mummy's boy and daddy's girl
Jazak Allahu khairan kaseeran
Ya Shaykh. JazakAllah Khairan for this very clear and open speech about another cultural disease that has spread around our Ummah. This was a long overdue speech and the Shaykh covered all the details precisely. May Allah Reward you for this, Shaykh and May Allah Guide our Ummah. How can any Muslim or even any decent human being treat his wife or in-laws treat their daughter-in-law this way when they would not accept their daughter to be treated like this. Such selfishness and arrogance that the daughter that comes to their home is inferior...😡😡😡
May Allah Protect me from ever being one of these oppressors...Aameen
Why can't the man take care of his older parents? Why does the man expect his wife to attend to his parents needs unless the wife volunteers to do so.? It is the duty of the son/daughter to take care of their own parents in their old age.
Masha Allah. Thank you Shaikh for talking about this topic. JazakAllahu Khairan.
Mashallah Tabarakallah Shaikh. It's high time that our scholars talk of this taboo. But we also need permanent solutions for this kind of situation e.g. mental and spiritual abuse. Where can these women goes if they want divorce coz most of the time they are not financially able? We should get mosques to open up halfway houses for them.
jazakallah for taking the leap toaddress this. It was well said, my brother. Now, if only the right people see this.
This problem is not prevalent among Muslims in Malaysia. Over here, I can see many elderly choose to live with their daughters. Some prefer to live alone, not wanting to leave their own house. But usually sons/daughters live nearby who will see to their needs. My mom has such a chill attitude towards her daughters in law. She treats them like guests. Lol. Even when they didn’t step into the kitchen, she rarely complains.
But shouldn't your sister in law be grateful that her mother in law brought up her husband well, and so he is able to feed and clothe her? My mom too treats her daughter in law like a guest. An aunt had leukemia, daughters in law were indifferent, when she was hospitalized in her last moments, doc said she was famished. The daughters of those women now don't care about their parents and are miserable in their lives. What goes around comes around but if we are good human beings, Allah sends help
@@nazneenahmgrateful for what 😂😂😂.the husband married the wife ,it is his duty to take care of her..😂😂u are definitely and indian.still living in hindu culture 😂😂😂
@@ramsiyajafar641 don't you ever read the Quran and the Hadiths?Why does the son inherit 2/3 of property left behind by parents while daughter gets only 1/3?. Don't mock us Indians. Islam was spread in India by Sufis and the reins of all Sufi orders were in the hands of descendants of Hazrat Hussain ibn Ali (RA), the grandson of the Prophet. The Chisti order is from descendants of Hazrat Jainul Abedin, the son of Hazrat Hussain (RA). We possess the knowledge of the mystical powers of the Quran, I bet you have never even heard of it. Don't be arrogant about your ignorance. That is the first lesson of Sufism- control your nafs or your big ego will make you a megalomaniac
Its a big issue, many house have been broken because mother in law& daughter in law, here in my country many still follow like india,Allah make it ease who are strugling on this
Won’t it be great if every woman keeps her own mother with her and the mother in law can live with her own daughter.that would be a perfect world.
The Sahabah used to rush to do good deeds. I think it is something we forget in our times. Only if we all had the intention to do good for one another and give each their rights with respect, this world would a better place.
The Shaikh gave beautiful reminders. We forget that we all will be held accountable for what we said or did that hurt another. Culture has dominated many of us, even the most righteous and religious among us - leading us astray from the truth, and preventing us from being just. Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones, or acknowledge the rights of our elders, is not one of us.” May Allah swt grant us hidayah to be merciful with one another and open our hearts to each other. Ameen.
It's always better do live seperatly
Convey message of Islam to all people of the world and to everyone who will come also convey message of Islam to all world leaders........
Nice lecture
the best thing is before you get married make it clear if she accept or not. its not even big deal.
@faran k....curious to know about you....r u married?
@@ndean3296 Alhumduillah and its Farhan.
@@ndean3296but he's not a SHE. ofcourse it's not a big deal
It's not all black or white. Sometimes the daughter in law is very nice and understanding, but the in laws treat her like the servant of the house. On the other hand, the in laws are nice and welcoming but the daughter in law proves to be difficult. The situation is different depending on the people, place and culture.
I personally feel that the best person to look after parents are their own daughter. That is if her husband is willing for her to do that. If her husband is willing, then the sons should be dignified and respectful enough to financially help their sister to look after their parents on behalf of them.
I've implemented a just policy in my case. Since my wife willingly took care of my parents, I too looked after her parents. I've noticed in most cases, the husbands don't return the favour to the wife's parents. Let's go eye for an eye but on positive vibes.
Some moms refuse to let go even after marriage. You see couples moving out and almost immediately the mother in law moves in with them.
We need few more episodes of this please
She didn't like his family. She used that she was oppressed bcoz she didn't want to take care of his mother. He was usually not home. He believed whatever was picture she painted. Poison was planted . Son believed mother was oppressing the wife. No he is v distance from his mother. His displeasure to do anything for his mother break our heart. All that was done saying she was oppressed . Now old mother doesn't have help in groceries, doctors appointment in daily life bcoz the distance was created between son n mom. But no one cares or knows except Allah swt.
There's another side of the story is happening in many home.
Even non Muslim they helped their's mother and father in law subhan Allaah
@@rukhsanaahmad5204 but why is it is muslim cultures that only the daughter serves her in laws and not the son serves his in laws?
@@MH-bf4uu I am not saying the daughter in law have to do house work for her in laws
In islam we should respect each
other atleast we visit
@@MH-bf4uu For the man to serve the in laws he'll have to be a GHOR JAMAI meaning house husband living at the wife's maternal/ paternal home .
There are a lot of house husband living at the wife's paternal home because the wife is the only daughter or her ( wife's) brother's left the paternal home to live separately with thier wife's because they don't want to take care of the old people ( father and mother)
In those situation if the husband decides to go and live with the in laws because his wife is the only career of her parents he will support and provide for her and his in-laws the way he did at his paternal home is by earning a living the way he did at his paternal home .
It dosent mean he'll be hands of 24/;7 that's it because even the in-laws won't allow it as it seen as belittling the son in law .
In some families the son in law is more loved more then thier own son's well fed, pampered treated as a king they put the son in law on a high pedestal and I've witnessed this with my own eyes.also the opposite also happens some son in laws are treated like dirt .
The cultural custom are so much entwined in society to older generation it's normal because they've been raised up in that society but for someone from outside looking into that society they can't wrap thier heads around it because they've been bought up in a different society.
As the saying goes you can take the man out of the country but you can't take the country out of the man .
MashaAllah, beautifully explained
I dont know why people mix religiom and culture it makes it very difficult to live. I married my husband and this is exactly what goes on in his family and if u dont do what they tell you to do they give attitude or give a dirty look. My husband stays neutral on this. So what i decided to do is help out a little around the house then i go in my room and enjoy my own company. So that i dont disrespect or they to do me. I feel this is not the best way to deal with this but what can i do. All i can do is ask Allah( SWT) to ease our tensions.
Great topic brother
Please don't choose your mother over any woman who can leave you anytime. remember you have a 1 mother. I know it's difficult to work and care for your parents especially when you don't have siblings or Money to hire someone. Inshaa'Allah i will skip marriage and take care of my parents
Alhamdulillah you are very wise and caring person
Person like me husband passed away and have no daughter where should I go I have no choice
Unfortunately many shekh hurting very good mother in laws they openly says wife is over mother that is wrong mother has her place and wife has her place it should be balanced men should realize that if he will die or divorced most of the women gets married the women you are choosing over your mother she forgets you
Mother should be treated as a
mother and wife should be treated as a wife if wife is above mother then Allah swt have revealed in the Holy Quran treat your wife with respect and dignity give her all the rights according to Islam but don't hurt your mother
Yes but ur mother Is ur mother ur wife is ur wife.
There is no comparison.
Ur mother has lived her life she has her own husband.
U have 2 get married and live ur life.
It doesn't mean u cut ties with ur mother
@@noreenbi9079 Islam is very different than western thinking. Leaving your parents in elderly care facility is not a Islamic way or a humane way. Maybe if you read the Muslim holy book (Quran) you will know that after the right of Allah(God) it's the parents rights.
@@Donotcare6
I know that.
I did not say leave ur parents.
Of course when they are old look after them.
Of course it's parents right.
But u have a right 2 ur wife 2 and ur children.
I am Muslim so u don't need 2 tell me
The maintenance of relationships and positive social ties entails things like showing respect, helping each other out, serving (to an extent), etc. Your spouse is more likely to respect you if you also show kindness/respect to their parents and siblings. HOWEVER.... the ....problem..... is that in many cultures (especial South Asian: Pakistani, Indian, etc).......this is taken to an extreme by many husbands (and husband's mom/siblings; the in-laws) to where they feel they are....."entitled" .....to service and sacrifice from the wife/daughter-in-law.....and it can turn oppressive especially in joint family setting. This "entitlement" comes with a lot of pettiness and especially petty gossip behind the wife's back or.....as verbal attacks to her face. For example, how DARE the wife wake up late in the morning and fail to make breakfast for the in-laws.....how DARE she forget to serve them chai .....there can be micromanaging and the list can go on and on. Some men tend to get defensive and deny that this is even an issue or will say that it shouldn't even be an issue, but they need to reflect on the following: Art imitates life. A very common theme in many of the dramas is the struggles between wife and in-laws. It is indeed a prevalent problem in society, hence that theme often shows up in the dramas, the news, the literature. This particular subject is not as common a theme in Western shows because it's not a prevalent issue or struggle in Western society/culture ...which...of course...has its own share of issues. But the root issue is entitlement.
I have seen every woman in Pakistan being a servant of her mother-in-law and father- in- law and the woman who refuses is known as a bad wife in the whole family. Illiterate people consider pakistani culture as Islam.
Yes well said .
Silly people
In Islam it says a wife is entitled 2 her own space even if it is a small house
I’m not being rude here at all and I don’t want anyone to think I’m mocking people’s culture or religion but I find it so sexist the way the woman is expected to live with her in laws. My friend got married in 2019 in Glasgow however she had to basically give up her life and career to move up north for him and live with his family for three years and she has had a baby too along with some health issues but she is away from her parents. They have their own place now but they lived with them for three years or something ridiculous. I think that’s shocking and isn’t right in this day in age especially as she has been left alone a lot of the time as her husband is an off shore worker. She makes out everything is great but I think it’s a show personally as she was a very ambitious person before marriage. She has a social media presence and if I’m honest I think that’s why she got married. The husband should man up and stop relying on mummy. Apparently they will always have to live near his family as “he is the one who provides.” Sorry that is BS especially as she is raising the child. There needs to be more equality sorry.
This is only a south Asian problem I never see Arabs have this issue
Great topic! Please educate our egotistical culture and the mother of the mens! Who thinks they are equal or close to GOD Astagfirullah! As they make the sons wife to worship them! Forcefully against their will impose so much burden! Husband just sit and watch ji ammi ji ammi 😑
I think children should take care of their parents...if the son is taking care of his parents then when the son is away and they need 24 hrs/7 assistance then he should make the necessary arrangements and not impose his responsibilities on his wife...what about her responsibilities to herself in pregnancy and raising her own family?
The parents don't get old as soon as the son gets married.
U should be active be able 2 do ur own work
MashaAllah great talk. Anyone has the link to the first part where he talked about joint families?
Salaam, but Even after marriage she has a right to change her mind bcz maybe it was way way more than what she thought …to cook, clean the children, home, husband.. then an ill mother and father in law…. And what if she too much help with her own parents !! Ya rabi
How about one about men and their in-law? Nobody talks about that abuse
Imam is very balanced. He has done daddy's girl and mama's boy lectures. Here they are if you missed them. He may do one for the other side as Imam has been balanced in the past.
th-cam.com/video/jNfUg8v4zDI/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/cDxv9uhxSmU/w-d-xo.html
MashaAllah i just listened. So wonderful. Men also have in law issues that rarely gets discussed. So it would be nice if you can shed some guidance on that.
Daughters in law are not required to serve parents in law. But in that case they also must not expect help from parents in law and sisters in law when they are in trouble. My mom is 80 years old, she or i feed my brother breakfast and lunch because his wife works and so doesn't cook in the daytime. During Ramadan me and mom have to provide iftar every day to my brother and sister in law. I am a working woman too. Is this just? Women want to take but not to give. But if a person behaves like a dog, he or she should expect to be treated like a dog. My sister in law didn't help me and my brother when my mom got operated, she went to live with her parents during those tough days, but she makes my brother serve her parents.
Well sorry 2 say ur brother isn't a man.
He needs 2 man up and not let his wife walk all over him .
Why does he look after her parents .
He should say am going 2 look after my mum.
@@noreenbi9079 you are right. Since my brother puts all the burden of looking after our mom on me, i have taken a break, have come to my maternal grandparents' home to help with some property issues here. My sister in law has slept in the house where me and mom live , after 4 years of her marriage..My bro isn't happy about it, telling me that instead of saving property of other people, i should take care of our own, so i told him not to be selfish 😀
@@nazneenahm
Thats good u need 2 look after ur self 2 .
Sister, tbh the blame lies with you and your mother. Why are you serving an adult man, when he is fully capable of it himself and so is his wife? In fact she should be cooking for herself and him. The issue is your cultural way to being up boys to not do anything and expect everything of girls. She is not your sister or your daughter. Islamically she is not even obligated to live with you. You are also not obligated to cook for her or her husband. Simply tell the brother NO and to get off his behind and do it himself with his wife. Islamically the duty to serve parents and look after them whether they are sick or healthy, is on you, the daughter and your brother, the son. So your expectations should be of your brother. Sit him down and tell him you can't serve him and his wife. As for his relationship with his inlaws thats between him and them. You don't have a say in it. But you can tell him it's unfair he has time for them but not for his own mother (duty and fardh). Talk to your brother instead of complaining about his wife. Also learn to differentiate between your culture and Islam. This is specific to the subcontinental region and culture. I hope things work out and your brother realizes his own duties and mans up and you guys stop pampering and spoiling him.
Haha Here in the west it would be a big deal if the daughter in law just treated the in laws with some respect, let alone take care of them. It would be nice if the imams did a talk on that, but unfortunately they are scared of being canceled instead of speaking of Haq
😢
Sadly this is the culture in Bangladesh sylhet region that wife need to serve the in laws. Hope things get changed.
The man can stay home and take care of his parents while his wife goes and work. He cannot be at two places at one time. So if he is at work and she is home she needs to step up
❤️❤️❤️🌹🌹🌹🌹
7:54 and 10:23 absolutely wrong. A wife (or husband) most definitely has the right to say she/he doesn't want to do anything for her/his inlaws, seeing Islamically she/he is not obligated. Anything she does must be voluntary and is a form of Sadaqah and she should be appreciated for it and possibly compensated for her useless and lazy husband not being willing to serve his own parents when it is Fardh and obligatory upon him, whilst marriage is not Fardh but recommended. If the brother can't find time to serve his parents, he also has no time for a wife or kids. Yes, one should respect and be good to ones inlaws, but you can not force people to like each other or do stuff for each other. Relationships don't work that way. It's has to be voluntary and without entitlement, pressure or force otherwise people build up resentment and eventually it comes out.
Brother, you have got to stop mixing your subcontinental culture into Islam. You can not just make up rulings which happen to go against established Islamic jurisprudence and consensus fo scholars. Also it would be great if you could address the so-called men of your community and instill in them the understanding that they are commanded by Allah to serve their parents. If they can not or will not do it themselves, then they should not marry and add to their responsibilities. Rather they should use the money (intended for the wedding, maintenance of wife and children) to hire a caretaker or maid. Other than that you speak sense and hopefully you can educate your community, especially the brothers, to be responsible and embrace not only their rights but also their duties. You must address why your fellow brothers don't want to serve their own parents but are full of excuses yet they have time for work, friends, wife, kids, leisure, sports etc but not to serve their own parents. It's really about your culture clashing with Islam.
He can stay home to take care of his parents while his wife works. How else can he be at work and with his parents at the same time
this is not how it works men must provide for his wife and for this he must work wife isnt obliged to give one cent to husband or work
Husbands look at it this way. By allowing your wives to serially serve your parents, you are depriving yourselves of abundant reward.😅. As long as she is doing it either by obeying you or by directly serving them when they ask, she is getting rewarded. So you guys are losing.
Please dont bring in psychologistswe come here for pure Islam.
No, he just serve her husband. And for husband he must be fair and square.
👉👉👉 You imam/ molana sb, 📌 if Quran and sunnah is silent about such issues, you should also don't discuss and interpret your own explanation 📌
👉 It is an issue of common sense and social justice.📌
👉This matter pertains to two way traffic. If the inlaws take care of their daughter in law, she has an obligation to respond positively.📌
👉There are multiple type of situations in every house and families and you need not to genralize it one way or the other 📌
👉When the shariya is silent about it 📌 you should also let it be solved by the families their self with their own common sense 📌
👉 By speaking as standing on the mimber of masjid you make it a religious issue 📌
👉
when it's a social issue.
👉My counter argument is that when shariya has neither commanded nor stopped the daughter in law to serve her in-laws, but left the matter to her wisdom and free will as a social obligation connected to her eeman why do you people make a debate 📌
👉You are unintentionally promoting nuclear family system in Islamic society.📌
👉Once you don't have full knowledge of the subject you should not ride on the mimber of masjid with the mic 🎤 in your hand and give incomplete and insufficient arguments in such matters which pertain to the "" ijtihaad "" for every human being --Muslim or non-Muslim person 📌
I think the aalim is qualified to discuss matters like this in light of sharia
Unless you are also a scholar or student of knowledge you have no right to challenge him
And even if you disagree there has to be a level of etiquette involved
We need to start respecting our ulama
100% agree with you AKHI
This has not been an issue for our great great great grand mother,grand mother, mother's, aunties, sister's they know their place in society that's why from early age in the Asian subcontinent India, Srilanka, Pakistan, Bangladesh, middle eastern countries girls are taught how to take care of the house hold by grand mother, mother's, mother's because they were taught by their parents from the time humans inhabited this earth.
There's always been order in society but all of a sudden people are trying to create chaos were thier is none they're trying to break the norms of society .
This problem is only in the west wish is seeping into Indian subcontinent and the middle east because of the social media platforms suddenly respecting taking care of elders is a curse
He is clearly an imam and student of knowledge and speaks from some knowledge. Unlike you. Living separately IS the Islamic model of living after marriage and is still common today among most muslims (outside the Subcontinent/South Asia) such as the Middle East. It's better the imam preaches the Islamic model than your preferred subcontinental hlndu cultural model. Much of what he said is already established in Ijma'ah dating back centuries.
What is the Islamic solution to the caring for elderly parents then? If a man has an elderly mother who requires care and he can not do it because he’s at work all day and he can’t afford a carer then what should he do? Let his mum rot in her own stool and urine? Divorce his wife and find a wife who agrees to care?
Please listen carefully on what the Imam said. Find proper solutions get other siblings involved.
@@SAK1912that's not a solution. Some people don't have siblings. There is something called basic courtesy. If your mother in law is in intense pain, but the wife refuses to give even a glass of water to her, then I don't think you are acting like a muslimah. The imam spoke spoke just about the one side of the story, I am sorry to say this.
@@SamirKhan-bs2wv 100% agree with you brother about the Imam's talk being one sided. He completely neglected to talk in detail how many Muslim wives in western world especially in America, Canada, UK etc abuse their privilege by taking advantage of laws of the land to do Zulm against their in-laws and the husband. Forget about serving in-laws, many wives make it quite clear to their husband that his parents are not to step anywhere near their house and not welcome to the house. So, an occasional visitation or an extended stay by the in-laws turns into major arguments and fights. The environment becomes so toxic that the parents stop visiting their son's home as they don't want to be the cause for the fights and break-up of the son's marriage. So, the husband and his parents just accept the injustice and suffer in silence
Listen properly the shaikh said that if the husband shows love n respect to his wife then she will also reciprocate in the same manner.He also said that a man before marriage must make it clear to the girl about his condition then its up to her to decide whether she is willing or not.I think that when a man gives such love n respect to his wife n her family then obviously she will too reciprocate in the same manner.
@@Ch1SupBwlChmp absolutely true I am going through my heart is crying she didn't let me to see my Granddaughter
dear shakyh, i sorry bit tje undertone of this lecture is not good, and i think indirectly encourage divorce!! you have not been very balances etc and a delicate talk like this needs more time etc
This video is biased in favour of daughters in law. I see elderly dying in neglect and starvation & such people should take revenge by donating all their property, jewellery and money to charity or people who will look after them. Carrot and stick policy is the best
Just render help if the need arises. Remember one day you will be an in-law to someone. Anybody who ill- treats their in-laws they are devils who doesn't deserve to live in this earth. THIS GOT NOTHING TO DO WIYH RELIGION.