You guys were spittin' facts like a minigun. Every part of the video is anchored in truth, even the "source" which I hope can be unlocked with a quantum computer in the next 300 years. Particularly the brain part was just masterful, my eyes lit up and I shot straight to google scholar because I remembered the brain thing is actually real. I always believed the best satire is tress of humour rooted in a soil of facts. By far the best onion video i've ever watched, because how immensely thought provoking and relatable it is 🤗
they went and not only doxxed him, but doxxed his thoughts, lifestyle, health, tumor, lungs, ribcage, vascular system, heart, DNA, and source, what did this guy do 😭
@@Anurania Imagine Trump or his campaign being held to anything resembling a standard of decorum such that "being extremely rude" would require damage control. Now use your one wish (wasted mine on food) to move us all to that timeline please.
@@Anurania Trump is constantly being extremely rude and the campaign doesn't even blink an eye. The joke is that Trump being extremely rude would not prompt any sort of damage control from his campaign, nevermind a "full on" response.
@zerotodona1495 I know right, how many times with touch screen tvs can you look at how in one of 2 ways 7 states can go? There's a finite number of combinations, and they go into do much detail that the onion is only barely exaggerating how much they zoom in to examine even the slightest movement
This is such great coverage. Other networks will talk about what's on our minds on election day but never what's in them. This molecular polling really sets The Onion apart.
New ownership as of April 2024. They’re shifting away from the usual news-blog model of hosting scummy clickbait ads and instead adopting an optional-subscription model.
@@ryuuguu01 Probably, yeah, an infusion of funding to build hype for the subscription model. I wouldn’t be surprised if after the election they slim it down a bit. That said, the new owners have said they’re fans of the site. They’re also a single-purpose company as opposed to a conglomerate.
It's good seeing Mr. Copeland back. I know some people were saying 10 years was far too lenient but he's paid his debt to society and we should all just move on from the unpleasantness
Yeah I wasn’t impressed by the models; mostly just how well the entire thing is put together. They really had to work to get the map looking clean, and they used so many auxiliary models for the inside of the guy’s body.
"Filling in for Clifford Baynes, who is currently catching up on fourteen years of popculture he missed out on while stranded on an island in the Indo-Pacific."
Jason Copeland is back! I remember his coverage of the 2012 election fondly: when he reported on Rodney 2012s cartoon parrot mascot to court the Latino vote, when he reported that social media has made every presidential candidate for the 2040 election unelectable! And when he famously called the “White hot sphere of rage” ticket for the republicans in 2016! It’s great to see him back in the newsroom!
Wanna earn some extra cash? Start a pool in your office as to when the Harris/Walz honeymoon will end. I'm optimistic that they'll defeat the pumpkin and his vacuous bearded sidekick, but reality is reality... You can't please all the people all the time...
Unfortunately there is a large segment of people who won't get that you are being sarcastic in your comment. They'll actually think you're defending Trump.
@@KasumiRINA according to certain members of a demographic with an intense interest in Japanese entertainment, I've heard it said that flat is, in fact, justice
It makes me feel so warm and comfy knowing how my apartment and very being can be pinpointed at any moment for the use of any kind of data. Thanks, The Onion.
Have a written record of society’s collapse. Become a member and get the paper here: bit.ly/40sNBKU
That was really well done. A lot of humour in that clip. Bravo.
moment
You guys were spittin' facts like a minigun. Every part of the video is anchored in truth, even the "source" which I hope can be unlocked with a quantum computer in the next 300 years. Particularly the brain part was just masterful, my eyes lit up and I shot straight to google scholar because I remembered the brain thing is actually real. I always believed the best satire is tress of humour rooted in a soil of facts. By far the best onion video i've ever watched, because how immensely thought provoking and relatable it is 🤗
We are so fucking back
I wonder who gave them money
@@thelonewanderer2095The TH-cam algorithm
WERE SO BACK
They got that Raid Shadow Legends moneyyy
Fr! And just in time too.
they went and not only doxxed him, but doxxed his thoughts, lifestyle, health, tumor, lungs, ribcage, vascular system, heart, DNA, and source, what did this guy do 😭
twitter leftists be like
@@biqbagel the entirety of twitter be like:
(seriously I haven’t seen a sane person on that website in years)
Maybe he didn't know about the tumor, and is now learning about it on TV. Could've saved his life ngl
@@biqbagelFor every twitter “leftist”, there is literally 100 far right dudes 💀
He remained "undecided"!
"No, because I am scared." 😂😂😂
Sounds like propaganda to me
This fuckin' kills me HAHAHAHAHA🤣🤣
So good
Lmao real
The algorithm is finally starting to get me.
"Full on damage control after footage leaked of the candidate being extremely rude." That last joke killed me 😂
I don't understand it.
@@Anurania Imagine Trump or his campaign being held to anything resembling a standard of decorum such that "being extremely rude" would require damage control. Now use your one wish (wasted mine on food) to move us all to that timeline please.
@@Anurania Trump is constantly being extremely rude and the campaign doesn't even blink an eye. The joke is that Trump being extremely rude would not prompt any sort of damage control from his campaign, nevermind a "full on" response.
Honestly I expected them to say "after footage leaked of the candidate exhibiting basic human empathy"
@@Dasycottus Even the Onion has to make some of it believable I guess...
I clicked on this without realizing it was The Onion, and I was thinking, "Wow, they really are getting obsessive over these swing states."
They actually do get weird about swing states though lol
@zerotodona1495 I know right, how many times with touch screen tvs can you look at how in one of 2 ways 7 states can go? There's a finite number of combinations, and they go into do much detail that the onion is only barely exaggerating how much they zoom in to examine even the slightest movement
Wait about 24 hours and see if this still looks like satire....
It is a whole new level of obsessive. They going to have to come up with a new word for it
Omg!! I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit!
This is such great coverage. Other networks will talk about what's on our minds on election day but never what's in them. This molecular polling really sets The Onion apart.
Molecular polling 😂😂😂
This right here is peak 2010 onion
they don't make humor like this anymore smh my head
They do, this is a prime example.
“They don’t make humor like this anymore”
-man on a video of them making news link this anymore
Copeland even came back!
@@nebaka12 they literally just made it though...
I'm tearing up. The Onion is back!
Welcome home!
This was brilliantly written and executed! Kudos!
"Can we zoom in further than that"
"No"
"Why"
"Because im scared"
I like how THAT's the reason, not because the map can't go further
We heard
😂
Me too Jason, me too
We saw the same video. Why type it out
Kudos to the graphics people on that zooming, and on the anatomical references. I appreciated this spoof on so many levels.
I love the fact they ignore the tumor
No, there was a healthcare footnote. 😂
Yeah, healthcare is gonna be a major player this election
@@jonathankkennedy looks like it wasnt
Fun fact: heart cancer is really really REALLY fuckin' rare.
Like, 1 in 100,000 people for tumors rare.
What tumor?
Finally real polling results.
This one is going to be timeless.
Just curious, why the broccoli 🥦
@@denisia1111 Don't be silly, that's a green cauliflower.
But ultimately, meaningless in the vast expanse of the universe...
@@JRAnalyzes Lol, you got a like from me: green cauliflower is what we call broccoli in our household. Don't ask!
@@JRAnalyzes No Sir that would be a juvenile cauliflower when the icon is clearly a full on adult broccoli. The Curious will remain mysterious.
Incredible level of detail. This is exactly the type of high quality, invasive journalism I expect from ONN
Did The Onion get some new funding!?!? Is The Onion back? I loved this video. Keep them coming
Yeah, it was sold to new owners earlier in the year.
New ownership as of April 2024. They’re shifting away from the usual news-blog model of hosting scummy clickbait ads and instead adopting an optional-subscription model.
@@Magic_beans_ Ah. So they're still in the burning capital to build a customer base phase.
@@ryuuguu01 - I hope they get past it. I missed this Onion.
@@ryuuguu01 Probably, yeah, an infusion of funding to build hype for the subscription model. I wouldn’t be surprised if after the election they slim it down a bit.
That said, the new owners have said they’re fans of the site. They’re also a single-purpose company as opposed to a conglomerate.
This is so brilliant
Shuddup bot
@witherworld8969 no u
Hey! You're here.
@@CZsWorld Vote kamala to save democracy
the only news i trust
It's news without mercy.
Abso F'n lutely!!!
The only news that dives a closer look than any other news channel smh. Thank god we have Big Onion fighting against Big Media on our side
YEAHHHH JASON COPELAND IS BACK!
It's good seeing Mr. Copeland back. I know some people were saying 10 years was far too lenient but he's paid his debt to society and we should all just move on from the unpleasantness
? what happened
@@nirvanaheightsNothing important. We’ve all been locked up for 10 years. People are blowing it out of proportion.
@@nirvanaheights he was an accomplice to the Clifford Banes incident, lets just leave it at that
@@nirvanaheights Try to look forward, not backwards.
@@D2attemp Ah yes, the famous clock tower incident.
Thank you Jason
"That is a big map" best way to respond to the depressing tone lol
Could be taken as cheery, too.
Nihilism is a good servant and a poor master.
No I will not elaborate further. Because I'm scared.
I'm so glad y'all are making videos again
"Past the tumor" 😭😭😭
That was my favorite part, I love the delivery.
That part killed me 💀
@@MrZega000💀
Health care going to be really important this election
😰 I was not expecting a hit of PTSD to go with my comedic dopamine.
I needed this spiritually
This is the only news channel that I trust to give me a precise weather forecast localized entirely within my house.
Is an aurora borealis localized entirely within your kitchen?
May I see it?
@@BonJoviBeatlesLedZep No
They understand voters on a fundemental level.
@@TheJadeFistWell TheJadeFist, you are an odd fellow, but I must say. You steam a good poll
Jason has returned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As a 3D digital artist I have to say, that 3D animation is actually amazing.
It looks like they took a guy straight out of The Sims though
@@TheCJRhodes more like garrys mod
Yeah I wasn’t impressed by the models; mostly just how well the entire thing is put together. They really had to work to get the map looking clean, and they used so many auxiliary models for the inside of the guy’s body.
I didn't ask for your life story!..geez!!...
This is exactly what I needed to watch.
Now this is peak Onion.
Hey arent you the guy that does
Oh my god its the guy that does
Something about this guy's entertainment seems pretty generic but I can't quite place it
i remember you! you are the one that does
The does that guy has up showed
Oh Onion. You have made us proud, and lol!
Brilliant. Much enjoyed 💙💯
Please bring back the debate.. 'In the Know'!
Great to see Jason Copeland back
@julianvickers i want to know what's Cliffard Bane is up to these days. Hope he still managing to survive all his adventures 🙏🏼
"Filling in for Clifford Baynes, who is currently catching up on fourteen years of popculture he missed out on while stranded on an island in the Indo-Pacific."
Jesus, "in the Known" was liquid gold dripping from TH-cam
"But I don't need a dead baby" - Nancy
You guys have outdone yourselves. Best one yet!
“Past the tumour..”. Priceless.
The healthcare won't be
Sent this to all my friends cause this, THIS is the best stuff from the Onion in so long I'm so happy.
Nice profile pic.
Holy shit, Jason Copeland’s still alive?
WE'RE BACK
He survived the Tea Party, but Andrea did not.
Andrea Bennett is still stuck in the election bunker
Hell yeah!
Imagine the guy finding out he has a tumor on his heart by watching this. 💀
Unfortunately , neither side wants universal health care unless you're an illegal or Israel
One of the BEST Onion bits in years. Well done, everyone.
Wow they are back!
Oh dang it's Jason!! Hell yeah, he's my favorite political analyst!!!
Glad you came back!!!
That was really an in-depth look. I have never seen such an in-depth look at a voter.
This was great. Thank you for this.
Jason Copeland is back! I remember his coverage of the 2012 election fondly: when he reported on Rodney 2012s cartoon parrot mascot to court the Latino vote, when he reported that social media has made every presidential candidate for the 2040 election unelectable! And when he famously called the “White hot sphere of rage” ticket for the republicans in 2016! It’s great to see him back in the newsroom!
This is 100 percent amazing.
As soon as he started zooming into the county, I knew where this was going. I did not expect to have an existential crisis towards the end.
incredibly done
you love to see the return of Jason.
Can’t wait for Clifford Banes to finally come back
Well put, well said. Great reporting 👍
ONN - The Tomahawk of Truth in The Skull of Lies!
The baldness-inducing radiation fighting back against the tumor of lies
....Thats a full on yes from me for the entire duration of the video, thank you very much.
The little awkward hop he had to do to zoom in on the brain has me in stitches.
This is incredible.
Even after the election over I hope we keep getting Onion videos. Funniest thing I see all day.
The one good thing about Trump winning is that they will have A LOT of material.
@@TintelinusExpect it feels like we all age 10 Years for every year he was President.
Wanna earn some extra cash?
Start a pool in your office as to when the Harris/Walz honeymoon will end.
I'm optimistic that they'll defeat the pumpkin and his vacuous bearded sidekick, but reality is reality...
You can't please all the people all the time...
ONN!!!! Keep them coming
Another daily helping of eyewatering truth. Thank you, The Onion
I lend my voice to the chorus of “welcome back Jason copeland”! I’ve missed you 😊
No way Jason Copeland is back
This is a masterwork
Hilarious and existential. Thanks ONN.
Suddenly, I realize how unimportant all this is on the cosmic scale. Thanks ONN.
Did you clear the 6th grade?
Best electoral vote touch screen map zooming I've ever seen. Take that, mainstream media.
I’m so glad you guys are back, right when we needed you
This is somehow both what I expected when I clicked on this video and also an absolutely insane surprise
Wow, this is literally beyond time.
hell yeah. keep peelin' it.
This is hillarious
"its got the lungs"
Not for long
I needed this.
Trump being rude? No way!
This is the real october surprise.
Unfortunately there is a large segment of people who won't get that you are being sarcastic in your comment. They'll actually think you're defending Trump.
@@MMMMattbubbles are strong
I’m so happy you are doing these again.
this is brilliant
Crushing it, as always.
Absolutely amazing breakdown by ONN
This is so on point
See, graphics designers? You don’t need to be flat to be modern! This looks great!
Exactly!!!!
I am not a graphic designer but I will take your words in support as an IBTC member.
@@KasumiRINA according to certain members of a demographic with an intense interest in Japanese entertainment, I've heard it said that flat is, in fact, justice
friggin hell...i chef kiss to this. now THAT'S journalism.😲
When are we getting to the nads?
Future votes do not impact the present election cycle until after the McFly Incident of 2120.
Thank you.
This is classic onion "Ninja Parade" levels of hilarious and just what I needed thank you ONN!
Oh, so that's what internal polling is. I thought it was something dirty.
This is the funniest this I've seen in a very long time. Thank you so much ONN!
I didn't expect him to zoom in on the body! Then the freaking cells! 😂
😮😮😮 I feel sooo exposed right now
Hey neat! Good to see Jason is still around!
Finally a new in touch with the people!
Whoever wrote this, make them write future ones
Don’t worry! They’re way ahead of you.
The writer’s chair has straps.
@@SigFigNewton Unfortunately, it also had electricity. That mistake won't happen twice!
News without mercy, fantastic.
I knew what the joke was gonna be when they started zooming, but god I loved it
“the”
Just brilliant!
I prayed for this version of the Onion to return 🙏🏾
Our prayers are answered!
ONN IS SO BACK LETS FUCKING GO
It makes me feel so warm and comfy knowing how my apartment and very being can be pinpointed at any moment for the use of any kind of data. Thanks, The Onion.
I knew it was coming, but when he zoomed into the bedroom I almost died 😂
No notes! That little hop to zoom in the head, the existentialism.. I need nothing else, thank u Onion!
Amazing!
Jason!!!!
I understood this much better than all the other polls.
When the world needed them the most, they returned