90 Day Fiancé - (Corey & Evelin #1) - It Begins - Therapist Reaction
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- Dr. Kirk Honda, couples therapist, reacts to 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way - Corey & Evelin. Includes clips from 90 Day: The Other Way, Season 1.
Therapist reaction to the reality television.
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#90DayFiancé #TheOtherWay #CoreyandEvelin
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Evelin is easily one of the people that have triggered me the most in 90D... She just seems so unreasonably mean and like she doesn't like him at all. Interested to hear Dr Honda's thoughts
Ahhh same! She’s not as mean as Anfisa or Angela but idk, she triggered me more! I was questioning myself as to why, like am I jealous of her or what? Her mind games triggered me the most. I feel relieved that I’m not alone.
I too wish Corey would consider what a life with Evelin could be like. She seems to have complete distain for him. He seems to accept her treatment without awareness he is being mistreated. I wonder why?
@@gerryshea3707 He cheated on her multiple times.
He cheated on her multiple times, so I’d probably resent him too.
@@brainfluidZ **SPOILER** I didn't know that! This couple was so triggering to me I couldn't stand watching them for too long. But I do remember that it came out that she cheated on him with the one friend he made, and everyone in the town was making fun of him because it was such an open secret and he was the only one that wasn't aware of it... So I guess she got her revenge?
The health care provider's judgment over having his mom being there while getting a shot is so weird to me. I have a major phobia of needles and as soon as I get a shot it takes 5 minutes until my body shuts down and I pass out. I tend to have either my spouse or mother there with me because when I wake up from passing out, I need someone to drive me home.
I agree! I’m 20 and my mom still comes with me to major appointments that I’m nervous about. Having a doctor being so judgmental makes me uncomfortable, like have any of my doctors thought that?
He was condescending even about the malaria pills.
Yeah, that was not okay. Bringing a friend, SO or a family member is totally fine. It's taking care of your mental health, so that you can take of your physical health. Nothing wrong with that at all.
Yeah, he was rude. Didn't seem to have any compassion or understanding and he didn't even have the common sense to hide it... THAT was unusual and a red flag, not Coreys phobia! 🤔
Yeah his body language was so smug and off when he said that. Having worked in healthcare his attitude bothered me. But Corey didn’t pick up on it and was fine so that’s fortunate.
"I'm Tony"
"I'm terrified"
Gosh I had forgotten about this line 🤣
Cracked me up.
I love that you validate his phobia so much, I found the dr laughing at him bringing his mom was quite offensive.
And it's easily encourage people to laugh at it. You must notice the humorous music playing while he's struggling to add to that.
So I like you validating this.
I found it almost painful to watch how Evelin behaves toward Corey and how he keeps trying to be with her. He is such a sweet person but so taken advantage of, while Evelin is stone cold.
I 100% agree!! A very tough watch..
Yes! Their entire relationship (from what I've seen) she acts like she can't stand him. She's annoyed and makes fun of him. She acts like he's a chore she doesn't want to do. From the beginning it never seemed like she truly loves him or even likes him. I'm curious what her intentions were. Did she think she could get financial gains or gain something from being on the show? He is so kind and sweet. I don't know why he wants to be with someone who's a mean girl.
I don’t know this couple but I want to say I LOVE MAMAS! We definitely have to appreciate a mother’s support even in adulthood. I don’t see it as a problem or a “red flag”. We all still need our “healthy” mothers even past the age of 18. It doesn’t make you less of an adult.
Agreed!!! Healthy support is great! 🥰❤️
hey, thank you for saying this. I actually needed to hear this, makes me feel a lot better :)
I just laughed so hard! I thought you were gonna say “we are not born with shoes “ and the vision of a baby coming out with shoes has me cracking up all over again😆😂😂😂
Thanks for the laughs 😁😁😁
So happy to hear you talk about phobias and exposure therapy! My phobia was so debilitating as a teen that I contemplated dropping out of college to avoid triggers. It's incredible how helpful a few years of gradual exposures were. I can't imagine my life right now if my phobia still dictated everything I did. It's a scary form of therapy to start and it takes a lot of courage to continue the sessions. I wish we told more people that so they knew there was a therapy that was extremely effective AND that they were capable of going through it and thriving
This is just me rambling but I'm very passionate about educating people on this, so more people like me can get help ❤
You're not rambling. Thanks for sharing your experience
I'm glad you shared your comment. I've struggled with anxiety myself but today's culture treats people like they can't be expected to ever overcome their struggles. There are so many young people who seem to think they can't complete simple tasks because of their anxiety. It's almost like people WANT to have "a thing" so they can tell everyone about it. It makes me sad for them when they are so young and putting walls up in the name of being incapable.
This physician is not that good, i have fear of needles and i find it best when a physician actually starts talking to me about random stuff and gets my mind off of what is happening.
Idk I think he did fine.
Everyone can be different. Some people are fixated and feel not heard it you attempt to gloss over their feelings.
When someone says they have a problem with needles in my job I usually start by asking them if they would prefer me to warn them of the needle or surprise them for that exact reason. And the reason is 50/50. Half want a warning and half want to be surprised.
It comforts me so much to know Dr. Honda struggles with anxiety and panic attacks too. Thank you for talking about this with us ❤️
My dad is 64 and is uncomfortable around needles so when he went to get the Covid vaccine he needed my mom to be there with him… nothing wrong with that. It’s support and love.
glad your dad faced his fear to get the vaccine and that he had your mom is way more compassionate than a 90day cast member.
Wishing our deserving therapist all the best with this couple. It'll be interesting to see how he expresses opinions on Eveline compassionately, considering I find her to be one of the coldest and meanest people on 90 day fiancé to date.
Been waiting for this one
She’s truly awful. Poor Cory.
My thoughts exactly Madison King!
“I love being done with this.”
I love it when he says he loves “being done with this.”. I felt relief for him.
When I was young, my pediatrician insisted my parents treat me with ice cream after a shot. I basically associated it with treats hehhee.
I got my ears pierced when I was 7, and the pain was so bad (to me), I couldn’t even cry. I was just SHOCKED. My dad told me ice cream cures ear-piercing pain, so we got ice cream. Yes, he was trying to get me a treat, but he also thought if I got a brain freeze, it would distract me from the ear pain! To this day, when I have a weird pain or headache, I wonder if ice cream would help.
Thank you for talking about phobias! My height phobia is so severe I can’t even stand on top of a chair (unless it’s super sturdy with a back) and people have always given me a hard time for it. :/ just because it’s irrational people assume I’m being a baby, but my body goes numb, I shake, and I start to immediately sweat. I hope I can convince others that it’s not my fault.
I'm so sorry for your experience. In my opinion standing on a chair is not irrational. They slip out all the time. I think fear of heights is pretty natural because most humans don't spend too much time above ground.
My first thought was you had a fear of tall people 🙈😄
@@nicky132Haha!
I have the same phobia & my body also reacts very strongly. My ex boyfriend took me to “get over my fear” by climbing a rock wall & my legs were shaking/jelly-like the whole time. I physically couldn’t do it at first & I still have to crabwalk down any tall rocks if I’m out w/ friends & we end up going to sit on a large rock/landmark we have here cuz my legs will start giving out.
You should check out the movie Vertigo (Hitchcock classic) if you haven’t seen it!
Working in the ER I quickly learned that more men faint from needle contact than females, yet it's men who ask to stand up while being injected...after the first 6footer timbered. Everyone sat or laid down.
I have social anxiety and its really frustrating to be sitting there like "really? we're doing this again?" while my body is going through the fight/flight thing. Mentally I feel fine about social situations but my body still does this. It's been 10 years. Its so exhausting and makes it impossible to hold down a job.
I suspect I suffer from something similar. I randomly took an acting class in college and I found acting class to be a kind of exposure therapy for my social anxiety…i could feel it’s potential and it makes sense why actors are so free and confident. And why the drama kids in grade school were so loud and obnoxious. Haha. I imagine how beneficial it could have been for me if I done acting classes earlier, but alas.
I haven’t run across anything else that helped as much.
I feel this on a deep deep level, rather than tell you to just face this fear, I hope that you can find resources to combat it. I have found that mantras help soothe me, so I'll say over and over in my head "you got this, Harrison, it'll be okay" I do this when I start feeling the anxious feelings, and it helps prevent anxiety attacks. Always take your time, don't rush or push yourself past limits.
I didn't appreciate the health care provider's judgement towards an anxious patient bringing a support person, regardless of age or if it's their parent. They should know better.
Totally agree👍!
I agree. I was actually surprised the Dr. hasn’t seen it often. Phobia of needles is so common.
TLC probably told him to say that
I think he just thought he was being a funny guy on TV, totally forgetting that he’s a healthcare provider and that’s horrible “bedside” manner
Idk what if he was just answering an interviewer who maybe asked “do you see this often that an adult goes in with their mother”. He’s not a psychiatrist discussing phobias in the interview so I wouldn’t expect him to answer a psychoanalytic explanation.
I underwent exposure therapy when I was younger not for a phobia but for OCD and it helped me so much!
For OCD? What was it like?
@@rains5 I went through it as well. How it went for me was being exposed to a triggering stimulus in a very mild way and in a controlled manner and riding out the anxiety. The goal was to keep the anxiety high but not to the panic response- much like Corey does in the video. Basically, as I was told, anxiety cannot remain in a high state- it takes too much energy so it rises than sustains for a short time and if nothing changes, it gradually lowers.
Repeating that process without taking it to the total panic point while gradually increasing the severity of exposure increases ones tolerance to the stimulus.
And the process sucks. It is so mentally and emotionally draining.
The physician needs a refresher in work ethics.
I used to have a severe case of katsaridaphobia, or fear of roaches. It went away after I took a 3-month course in hypnotherapy and began practicing self-hypnosis. I didn't even try to work on my phobia. I just noticed one day that cockroaches don't bother me anymore.
I used to have a major phobia of needles (only "cured" by an autoimmune diagnosis that resulted in biweekly bloodwork and therefore, exposure) and I think doctors need to be better prepared for that situation. I remember being a child and trying to work through my panic attacks when getting shots and then having the pediatric nurse "surprise" me by giving the shot early when I asked for a count to 3. I didn't recognize it at the time, but I was trying to create my own pacing like you talk about in this video as a way of working through my anxiety and it ended up making my anxiety about needles a lot worse for a lot of years because I then distrusted any nurse who had to give me a shot.
I’m a professional body piercer and heavy modification artist. Myself is very heavily tattooed and pierced but I can NOT stand getting vaccinations or IV’s. It’s not so much of the needle that scares me more of the fact that you were putting something in me that I can’t necessarily take out. Also not to mention I’ve never not seen a doctors office or a hospital that did not, not cross contaminate something.
I recall as a child loving getting my blood taken and telling the doctor that I loved the pinch of the needle. They probably thought I'd become a heroin addict. lol
Thank you Dr Honda, this has helped me understand myself more. I didn’t realize I had phobias but I do have a mild fear of needles and I think that was worsened by the fact that I had 4 c-sections. What you said about each bad experience building on the other makes total sense.
I also now realize that my anxiety around checking my messages, voicemail, texts, and making appointments is actually a phobia. The longer I take to check the more anxious I become, but once I do check I feel better and it’s not a big deal. I am pretty sure a huge contributor is that my ex husband has left me abusive messages on my voicemail and text and email. It’s gotten worse and the things I get anxious about are pretty benign.
I am going to talk to my therapist about exposure therapy.
My ex boss were also sending me a lot of awful messages, which led me to just silence my phone completely (it was 2 years ago and I still didn't change the settings).
It is amazing to me, that my new boss doesn't understand that I don't want to use my phone for my job and I prefer to be contacted only through the professional tools and only during the work hours.
Because it is not normal to other people. But it's not normal to me. Ehhhh.
Let me know what way of exposure does your therapist advice ;)
I have a phobia of needles and this is very interesting to me. I've always been terrified of them. Once when I was eight, I was freaking out before routine vaccinations and the nurse threatened to call police and have them strap me down in order to let her get on with it. I hope that lady isn't working with kids anymore. Anyways, as silly as it sounds for an adult, I like to pretend to a brave character from TV or movies while I get shots and that helps.
Oh this is awful!! You poor thing!! What a horrid thing for a health care professional to say. I’m glad you’re able to put your ‘brave’ cape on, I do that too in many situations, it works and there’s zero shame in that! ❤️
Hi, fellow needle phobe here! I've had similar experiences with terrible bedside manner. Two experiences really stick out. The first was a TB test for a new job where the nurse told me to stop being a baby and said it was fine with her if I didn't get the job because I was too scared to get a little needle and then proceeded to death grip my arm and shove it in, leaving me bruised for 3 weeks. The second, and far more traumatic, was when I was trying to get my very first blood draw. I was living out of state and it was the first time I tried getting a needle without my mom (boyfriend was there though) and I was on lorazepam to help calm me down. They put me in this little room with a curtain for a door right in the hallway but they left the curtain open. A few nurses walked by and stood right outside, within my view and started laughing at me for crying. They then went down the hallway, got a few other nurses and they all walked by, one by one, to look at me. Then they stood right out of view from the curtain and I could hear them all talking and laughing at me, the 19 year old having a panic attack over a blood draw, for at least 5 minutes. It was humiliating to have these medical professionals openly ridicule me for my phobia. The nurse doing my blood draw sent me home after trying for 45 minutes (unsuccessfully) to stick me. I was told to come back another day, but I never did.
Ugh I hate hearing about health professionals that aren't compassionate,since I know a lot of nurses that go out of their way to treat their patients like they'd want to be treated. Sorry that happened to you
I love all the 90 day fiancee reactions from Dr. Honda but I'm particularly interested in this one because I'm from Ecuador and I find Evelin and Corey's interactions jarring. Looking forward to seeing how Dr. Honda uses them as a jumping off point for all of us deserving listeners :b
When my 3 yr old began seeing a nutritionist, I brought a different family member with me to every appointment lol I was so new to it. I felt bringing different perspectives and knowledge helped me asked better questions.
I live in Spain. People bring several family members with them on doctor visits (and almost everywhere).
The way I got over my fear of needles was by getting on the Depo shot! It wasn’t intentional, like I didn’t get on the shot *to* get over my fear of needles but exposure sure as hell works!
And here I am having a full panic attack watching him get the needle. When he shrunk away when the guy touched his arm to move his sleeve out of the way, I lost it. Probably not the best thing for me to watch, but damn, it is validating to see someone else have such similar physical reactions to me.
I have a dental phobia, as a result I found it very hard to find a dentist who didnt get annoyed, or upset when I would pace the anxiety. I have never heard it described like that and frankly I do that for a lot of the anxieties I have. I always felt like I was a brat or bad for wanting to control and pace the anxiety but I have never heard it described as a positive skill (its very looked down upon in my family unfortunately)
it was actually interesting to me to watch someone with the same phobia i have to react to it so much differently than I do. It was nice that he wanted family/doctor support and understanding, where as i typically shame myself, want no one around me except for the person taking my blood (I find upper shoulder vaccinations less horrible than getting my bloods drawn in the lower forearm), I stare *DIRECTLY* at the injection site as a punishment for not being braver/not trusting the person taking my blood (as if there is something "wrong with them" for doing this to me), and all of this makes me so horribly anxious that by the end of it, I am too dizzy to remember and have fainted before. So it is like starting all over with trying to deal with this phobia because I constantly forget the experience. Dr.k's advice/ methods, tho stressful, might actually help me...
I have pretty severe separation anxiety (which SUCKS as an adult because people see it as a little kid thing). The first time I had to leave my dog I spent weeks panicking about leaving him. The day he was due to leave (to stay with trusted family) I cried so hard I started hiccuping like a child. It sounds crazy, and makes you feel crazy, but it's very VERY real at the time.
I used to work at a Drs office and one of our patients had a needle phobia too. She didn't tell us how bad it was and showed up without anyone for support. She fainted the second the needle went in. The poor nurse was screaming code for help because the needle was still inside and patient was falling off the seat. After patient recovered she had to wait 20mins extra in the clinic because we couldn't let her drive like that. Afterwards she was ashamed and I feel bad that she feels that way on top of having to deal with that phobia. Poor lady.
I have an intense phobia of strep throat swabs. I act like this guy with those. Its so embarrassing. When I was a teenager I would even start crying, and doctors acted like I was being an overly dramatic girl, they didn't understand. I have always understood that throat swabs aren't dangerous, but that specific thing still scares the heck out of me. That doesn't make me a crazy person, It makes me a normal person who happens to have a phobia.
If you don't do Anisa and Jorge I'm suing v.v'
Evil-Lyn is the one of the most evil villains of the series and I feel Corey literally threw his life away.
Evelin is really cruel toward Corey. She seems to only care about her needs and her plans, and does not seem to be interested in considering---or even knowing---his dreams, hopes, or wishes.
She doesn't even seem like she likes him.
I'm 39 years old and finally got a tattoo. I've wanted them for Ages but I'm phobic of needles. I had a stuffed animal I squeezed to death, a playlist of my favourite music and basically anxiety talked for two hours. Not looking once at the needle.
It's an accomplishment cuz I used to have to take anti anxiety meds for day surgeries!
Not appreciating the doctors attitude about age having anything to do with a PHOBIA.
I've fainted several times after injections. The doctor that gave me Hep A & B vaccines chuckled & said "I've never lost someone in 32 years. You'll be fine." He stood me up after the injections, I saw literal tunnel vision and dropped to the ground. Took several minutes to get me to wake up. I've since gotten help for the fear & even survived numerous rounds of epidural spinal injections in all 3 sections of my spine (9 or so over 1 1/2 yrs) for spine damage & nerve root compression. After that I'm good w/injections. I just turn my head & all is well. The help from a therapist did help!
Just now starting to watch this series of Corey and Evelin and I love hearing you talk about phobias. I have emetophobia (fear of vomit/vomiting) and I know what it feels like to have that anxiety attack when being faced with something you are so afraid of. It's definitely something that I know is irrational but that doesn't take away the fear. I got to the point where my phobia was affecting my daily life but with some therapy and lots of little (or big) moments of facing my fears, I have made lots of progress and I'm proud of myself. I would love to hear you talk more about phobias or maybe you already have and I'm not aware
Having traveled multiple times to Ecuador, it is not necessary to take anti-malaria medication everyday and certainly not for the rest of ones life!!! There are regions and seasons for malaria... the information is accessible in Ecuador when and where outbreaks happen. Only then is it pertinent to take meds. .. and you have the option to avoid that area (if possible).
I have a phobia of opossums. Just seeing one freaks me out. 🤢
The thing about having to pace the situation yourself and having control hits home! I have a huge fear of heights, and every time I get convinced (lol) of going on a ride in an amusement park or a flight, I feel so anxious and panicky since I cannot stop the ride or the feeling. I just try to listen to music and imagine I'm in a car or something and just power through it 😅
😂😂😂 i feel for him. Im a nurse clinician who's also afraid of needles. I tell healthcare workers that ahead of time when i need shots and i close my eyes, and hum music on the inside lol.
Do you get anxious when you have to give shots too or just when you're on the receiving end?
@@yyyy622 lol not anymore but during my first clinicals yes. I was freaking out. Thought i would pass out lol
Is this a gender-linked phobia? It occurs to me that if it's about having something enter your body, that's a situation women are a lot more accustomed to than men, so I wouldn't be surprised if we're much less fearful of injections.
Oh I loved loved loved watching Dr Honda's take on this phobia! I have a fear of needles myself and I hope maybe one day I get rid of it. Even watching this reaction made my hands sweaty. I relate to Corey, I usually don't sleep the night before needles injection and cry the closer I get to the deed, but I know damn well it doesn't make any sense. Some nurses are nice about it and help me get through it but some seem annoyed or irritated. I understand why but it only makes my anxiety worse. I guess I would let people film this for scientific purposes
I have horrible anxiety with needles, I have fainted every time I get blood work done. I always lay down and I do get laughed at by some of the hospital staff but I know in the end I need to go at my pace or I will be more traumatized by it.
Lol , the doc looks like he’s stressing about needles . He looks like he could use a glass of water.
My brother has an extreme phobia of needles. Ever since he was young he would physically freak out to the point that he needed to be strapped down. It's really painful to see someone you love so terrified and it's jarring to see them physically restrained (even as a toddler). What ended up helping is that our little sister got Diabetes and he was exposed to many needles. Now he's 18 and while he still is initially scared it's not as drastic as before. He just got his Covid shot and Im so proud of him ♥️
Having worked as a phlebotomist I've seen many people who act like this with needles. I always appreciate (and thank them) if they tell me before so I could get them a bed so they could lie down during the drawing. I try to make it as comfortable for them as possible and ask if they want me to say when I stick or to talk about a specific subject during the draw. I don't ever judge them for being fearful because being afraid sucks enough! With children too I try to give them some sense of control in the situation since it usually makes it a LOT easier.
I ordered extra strength tattoo cream from Amazon to help my son overcome his fear of injections....it's been a game changer for him 😊
what actually rly helped me with needles was getting them but not looking at them so that when it happened, all i felt was very small pain that i realized wasnt as bad as i thought bc by looking at it, i always felt like it would hurt more compared to looking away
This reminds me of my youth when i was legit scared of needles, because i was always taking vaccines or doing blood tests. When i started to grow up i realised i wasnt afraid of the needles, but of the blood, which now i turned out a huge fobia for me. So much that whanever i see blood i start to get nausea n faint (this happened many times). Small quantities/video games/movies are fine but if i see in front of me like a medium/big portion of fresh blood (doesnt matter if its human or animal blood, or even my own) or even hear abt surgeries i'll most likely faint. I didnt knew there was treatments to deal with fobia, so it was a nice to watching this n learning more abt it.
When I was about 4 or 5 years old I had to get my blood drawn and I wanted my mom in the room with me but for whatever reason the nurses said I couldn't have her with me which very much upset me. They took me into the room and went to draw my blood and I started to have a meltdown, 2 nurses had to hold me down and the one drawing my blood had to stick me 3 separate times since my vein kept popping. It was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life and I've spent A LOT of time working on my phobia. I can successfully get vaccines but I still can't get my blood drawn so half win I suppose lol.
Thats terrible! Who would deny a little kid a parent during a blooddraw?!? I'm so sorry that happened to you.
@@KC69134 oh thank you for your kind words
Needles also reminds me of insect stings. Could be the cause of the phobia.
This reminds me of my fear of making phone calls in the past lol (though it wasn't that bad). I still get a rush of anxiety when I have to make one though (I even got it right now just thinking about it lol)
Same! It’s like performance anxiety. I’m so thankful for online ordering and appointment scheduling.
@@Lowlight91 oh yes! I remember the struggle I faced when I wanted to get help from professionals for my anxiety but they only scheduled by phone lol I'm so happy you can do everything online nowadays
I dont have a phobia of needles, but when I was about 6, I had pretty severe kidney issues and was admitted in hospital for a month. I had various catheters (for easy IV access) which forever ruined my veins. Now, it's extremely hard for nurses to draw blood. Most have to literally dig with the needle, and when they dig, I always faint. 🙃
The dude getting the shot looks like me being in a car while it's going up a mountain road. Sh*t's real, yo.
I also have/had a debilitating needle phobia! Since I was a little kid I would pass out anytime a needle was basically even mentioned (this includes talking about epinephrine in AP psych class in high school.) I started working for a vet, and the daily exposure to needles made my fear almost disappear. Now I can poke animals no problem! But when it's my turn, there's still a decent chance I will pass out, but I've learned to deal with it enough that it doesn't stop me from getting medical procedcures done. His Dr. didn't have the best bedside manner at all, I couldn't tell but it looked like he was drawing up the vaccines in front of him! Also I always hide the syringes and things from people who have a needle phobia, and always talk about something else when they're out. It just seems like common sense.
Same here Dr. Honda regarding a needle phobia but I didn’t have the luxury of small doses of exposure. My current pregnancy requires me to get a progestin shot weekly plus blood work every other month. I’ve gotten better but I still have an anxiety body reaction each injection. My partner is extremely supportive and hasn’t missed an appointment and that has been extremely helpful to have someone in the room with me to remind me that I’m fine. Still sucks though lol!
thank you for discussing phobias. people always think it's irrational and we know it's irrational but still have the phobia. i had a phobia of needles but I'm chronically ill and have had so many shots and blood drawn it no longer bothers me. the exposure really does help.
This is a fascinating discussion about phobias. I am learning a lot and so appreciate it. Personally, I have always had a phobia about roller coasters (even the small ones), but it's hard to expose myself because I can't control when it starts and stops. Sigh - any advice?
I struggled with a full-on phobia for many years, so much so that I have blacked out a couple of times because of triggers. I have gaps in my memory for some traumatic situations. The reaction of people around me was to laugh at me. I am pretty sure the producers included the scenes of Corey's anxiety so that people would laugh at him and think he's ridiculous.
This was so good! But how do you get therapy...for phobia about therapy😳? Catch 22.
Not sure if you're genuinely asking or not, but my answer would be: Do exposures yourself! Take a minute a day to research therapists, then move on to contacting them for a consultation, then telehealth. Anyone with any fear can pace themselves to naturally get adjusted to their fear
@@zaxxya7883 Completely serious. Thanks!
Is it a fear of therapy, or a fear of opening up? Like a fear of bringing up things that may have happened in the past?
@@moka7242 Therapy itself.
This is a real thing. My ex had a deeper underlying need to be right and dominate and by definition couldn’t allow himself to get therapy as that might ‘prove him wrong’ and he couldn’t handle it.
My husband is way over 30 and he won’t go to the doctor without me AND our 90 pound dog. 😆 My dog has also taught me a lot about the normal animal response to things too. There is nothing wrong or shameful with asking for support and comfort. When my husband gets a needle our dog turns her head and looks at the wall and refuses to look. If a knife is involved…she starts shaking and definitely refuses to look. This has been going on for years now!
I have a fear of driving in tunnels
For me it’s driving over bridges!
I have a needle phobia (needles meaning shots/ injections/ syringes) people don’t understand there’s a massive difference between being scared and having a phobia and how intense it is. Even though I know it’s silly I can’t help it.
Suggestion is to tag your video in the description better: like this one is clearly about a fobia
I have a phobia of flying! My therapist says it's not a phobia because I am able to go on a plane etc BUT when I am up there for me is like being in hell, I can't open my eyes in the entire fly, I don't go to the bathroom, I DON'T EVEN TAKE OFF THE SEATBELT 😔 It's so exhausting and frustrating because I want to travel to different countries but I recognize that I avoid going on trips because of this fear. With the pandemic I am more controlled since my family can't travel that much but is sad to have this fear when my family (I also have 2 kids) love to travel 😭
I hate needles too and I wish I could have brought my mom with me when I got the covid vaccine! I was crying all alone (but in the room full of everyone else getting the vaccine) it was the worst! The physician was so sweet though. I love how dr Honda explained the experience because it's so true how I know it's so silly and as I'm crying and shaking and like hyperventilating I'm like "I'm fine!! I'm just scared of needles" to the physician who was wondering if something was seriously wrong. And then right after I get it I'm like "Oh! that isn't so bad!" but then again every time I go and have to get one the same thing happens! Phobias are so weird lol
As I child I was incredibly phobic about shots, to the point where my pediatrician would have a nurse waiting outside the door when I needed a vaccination because I was known as a runner hahaha. I actually suspect I know where my phobia stemmed from, my mother is off the charts phobic about needles and as a kid any time I would need a shot she would start to freak out and cry and I am pretty sure it terrified me as a kid to see my parent get so worked up that I assumed whatever was coming must be horrible. As an adult I have zero fear or issues with vaccinations, or bloodwork, or needles in general, and I don't get anxious at all about them. It is such a switch from where I was as a kid it is almost funny, but my mom still gets totally freaked out by them.
Oh my gosh thank you so much for this Dr Honda!!!! You’re the best!!!
Everyone deserves to be comforted! There is never an age where you don't need your parents, people need to stop shaming people for loving/taking comfort in their parents. Maybe if society didn't shame this healthy behaviour more people would ask for help and receive the support they need!
I'm of the belief that SIT is a much better option for many who return from war and have PTSD as opposed to exposure therapy. I believe that continually talking about the events and exposing people that way only retraumatizes them. I know this isn't true for everyone, as no treatment is, but i believe there should be the option for this in a much broader way than the current options.
Hi Dr. Honda, is everything okay? Please know you are appreciated by many, no matter what is going on!🙏🏾❤️
WHAT?! Hold on, had to pause 1.5 minutes in. I also have trypanophobia! This is going to be so interesting to watch. Let's see if his is because of the pain, or if he is like me and has no objection to the pain but is scared of the physical needle? Also, I just want to add that I faced my phobia and got both doses of the covid vaccine, so if I can do it, so can you! Granted I did have to bring my mom with to both appointments and had to take valium. I still had several panic attacks, both times, even tried to run once (totally unconscious movement, but luckily mom caught me). But the nurses were so incredibly kind. I got through it, even though I bawled like a baby at 26 years old. I have been to therapy, and it helped to some degree, but unfortunately my insurance only paid for 5 sessions. Anyways, super interested to see another adult, a man even, with this phobia. One of the hardest things about this phobia is the social stigma of being grown and still afraid of something most people get over as young children.
I feel for anyone with anxiety of any sort, since I have social anxiety that has in the past crippled my ability to thrive.
Omg I can't wait to see what you have to say about this couple. I feel like this is the couple that is the most misconstrued by production
this is random but i just noticed the mgmt album in the back lmao. taste >>
I think i saw one or two episodes woth this couple. The lady seemed like horrible person or at least, not nice. I was hoping they will break up later but i gues they survived, since they are in another season 😄
They are married now...
@@jclyntoledo I got lost in their lies. One moment they play she never wants to marry, and the next, she admits they’ve already been married for a year. 🤔 What?!
I'm almost 40 and have anxiety over getting injected with things, so I always have someone with me. I'm also prone to panic attacks. I have had it during various medical things, so I do need to have a support person. Once it was so bad I almost hit the doctor.
US is very disconnected with their family. In other countries it's normal to not only see mom but friends and other family. It's actually weird to not have anyone with you.
I'm late in the game just barely watching now but I just wanted to say that I behave the same way to needles and I'm pretty sure it has everything to do with my earliest memory of being vaccinated when I was 5 and the nurse telling my mom to hold my arm down and I remember wondering why my mom made a face and why she needed to hold my arm down and then they stuck the needle in my vein to draw my blood and I kicked and screamed while being held down and feeling betrayed by my mom for what felt like torture.
I'm 34 and I WILL NOT get a shot or bloodtest by myself.
Do yall think this fear comes from the fact we were forced to get all types of vaccines and bloodwork as a child? Like I remember being pinned down, and same with my sister, and while we got over it as we got older (sort of like repeated exposure) I can definitely see a scenario where you don't.
When it comes to needles, I'm fine when it comes to vaccines, but for procedures where they gotta give me IV or do a blood test, I get woozy (even typing this is making me light-headed). What makes it even worse is that I have very small veins, and I've gotten poked too many times, so I always tell the nurses to let me lay down. This fear makes me disappointed, cause I want to donate blood. My mom even makes fun of me by bringing up the time when I hit a nurse's hand away from me when I was getting blood drawn as a toddler.
I have a phobia of needles myself and it used to be so bad that at around 8 or so I had to be pinned down by my mom, grandma, the nurse giving me the shot AND a neighbour from the private nurse I was getting the shot from, that was very traumatic but since I would refuse to voluntarily walk the steps to the building where his office was they just forced me inside, it became a little better after that cause I promised my mom on my next shot I would do my best not to freak out and it worked and once my body realized it was way less painful to get a shot when you're relaxed it just began relaxing on it's own although my brain is still freaking out I usually manage to not show any fear response, I do inform all my nurses though when I go do stuff like this that I'm extremely nervous and I've cried a few times recently after I left the doctor's office cause I was forced to go alone because of covid and have needles stuck in me for a biopsy recently and my anxiety kicked in so much that as soon as I got out and saw my mom I full broke down and began sobbing, I do manage to get through it and don't pass out though even when getting blood taken although I am always asked to lie down since my anxiety is always so noticeable they get scared of me fainting, I do think that I would probably faint if I donated blood because of how long the needle would have to be in my body AND because I can't stand blood either, funny enough though getting a tattoo was a very relaxing experience for me and I would guess possibly because I can't see the needle so my brain doesn't really register that that's what's happening, watching youtube videos of stuff like this being done to others helps me a lot actuallly as well and I'm always told to lie back when getting anythinf done with needles and not watching it happening helps me a lot too.
i'm terrified of needles, i had to bring a jacket to cuddle while i got my covid shot since i went alone lol
Dr. Honda, I’m curious, did you get anxious watching this?
I really hope some day you can do Danielle and Garritt from the most recent season of Seeking Sister Wife. It would be interesting to hear your comments related to their style of polygamy!
Wow, interesting! I’ve never been scared of just seeing needles or being vaccinated, but any time I have had my blood drawn or been too close during an operation (I’m a medical student), I’ve felt lightheaded and had to sit down for a little before continuing. I’ve always wondered where it came from and how to get rid of this phobia (or whatever it is!)
To the comment about taking your parent or parents to doctor's appointments. Even if you're a grown adult I don't see a problem with it and if I lived closer to my mom I would probably have her go to most of my appointments just to have her there for me, and she's a nurse so it helps me feel better. And I'm almost 32
As someone who has to take medication every day for the rest of my life, his initial hesitation irked me. Like... it's not that big of a deal. It really isn't.
I'm ok long as I don't see the needle. My doctor forget that my reaction so violent he thought I was in cardiac arrest...simple shot ended up being in the hospital for 2 days
Also, sorry I will probably be pausing and commenting a few times, exposure has to be very carefully planned and designed. My needle phobia progressed to the point it is at today because of traumatic experiences. I've always been needle phobic but bad encounters just further validated the panic my body was experiencing. A few examples: my mom once told me I was going in for a routine physical, only to get there and find out they had two nurses waiting to hold me down and give me 4 shots (one of which was the cervical cancer shot which hurts like a bitch), I had to get a TB test for my first job and the occupational nurse told me to quit acting like a baby and that it was fine with her if I didn't get the job because I was too afraid of a little needle...she then clamped her hand around my arm and shoved the needle in...I was bruised for 3 weeks. When I was in college I was living out of state with my boyfriend...I needed bloodwork done (never had bloodwork in my life and still haven't) to test for lupus...doctor prescribed me lorazepam and my boyfriend (now husband) took me to the appointment...they placed me in this little side room off the hallway with just a curtain for a door but they didn't close it...so the lorazepam didn't help me at all and this was my first needle appointment without my mom AND they were trying to do the procedure I am most terrified of, so i started hardcore panicking, like full on sobbing and I couldn't do it, well some nurses started walking in the hallway and they would stop outside the curtain and openly laugh at me for crying about bloodwork, then they went and fetched some friends and had them all walk by and then they made fun of me right out of view of the curtain for being an adult and crying like a baby over a needle...the nurse trying to do the bloodwork sent me home after 45 minutes of straight panic and told me to come back another day...I never did, but I'm pretty sure I don't have lupus... my doctor theorized that my symptoms were part of my migraine disorder, but she just wanted to rule out lupus to be safe.
I still haven't ever had my bloodwork done, and I don't know if I will ever get to that point. But these experiences really traumatized me and have made my phobia harder to manage. On the flip side, I have had some really great experiences that have helped me as well. I always explain far ahead of time that I have a needle phobia and request the kindest nurses available. My mom works in finance at the hospital system I use so she always recommends really great physicians who won't judge. I've learned through complete coincidence that my phobia is manageable in certain areas of my body, like the top of my hand. I have now had a few IVs placed in the top of my hand rather than my inner elbow, and while I still panic, I can get through it. My mom still comes with me to every appointment now that I moved back home, and she advocates for me to the staff. My best friend happens to be a phlebotomist and, while she wasn't supposed to, she brought me home an unused needle so I can continue my exposure therapy at home since insurance won't pay for any more therapy...I don't stick myself, and I actually haven't had the courage to even look at it yet, but i think once i feel up to it that it will help me if i can hold this thing and study it and train my brain not to see it as a threat. Thanks to therapy I can now talk about needles without going into a panic attack, I can watch medical scenes with needles on TV without looking away (still can't do scenes of intravenous drug use or non-medical settings, but I don't want to anyways), I can force myself to get certain shots in the upper arm that I need (like my covid vaccines), and I have started to identify certain specifities of my phobia...i.e. my fear seems to mainly stem from the fact a sharp object is being placed inside me and no one can SEE what it is poking. Even though I KNOW they are trained for how and where to place the needle, my mind irrationally imagines it piercing through necessary stuff and that I will die in the chair.
I think the hardest part, apart from the shame of being an adult afraid of needles, is when people insist you explain your phobia. It makes it even more difficult since mine is not about pain, but about the actual needle itself (I have a high pain tolerance, I've had fillings with no numbing and I've gotten a tattoo). The problem is that its irrational, I know its irrational, but there is hardly a rational way to explain an irrational thing... but I do try to explain the feeling with something they can relate to...like, if you were sitting in a chair and someone came up to you with a large kitchen knife and told you they were about to stab you with it and you just had to sit there and let them do it...wouldn't you be panicked? I know it's only a small needle, but it feels like life or death. In those moments when the panic is so strong, I literally feel like I am about to die, I'm that terrified.
It’s unusual for someone in their thirties to present with needle phobia because most people in their thirties with needle phobia aren’t going to the doctor! For one because of the phobia ,but for two because of the shame associated with it by society and unfortunately by healthcare providers.
Please do 1000lb sisters!
Yes!
Agree
I have a serious question for everyone and don’t mean for this to come across as inappropriate. Do you think there is a difference between (more commonly hetero) males vs. females in this concept of a phobia of being penetrated by something e.g. a needle? I’ve heard of the concept of receptivity being highly related to estrogen, and I’m sure women on some level are socially conditioned to being receptive to things, sexual and otherwise. The receiving versus giving mentality…. Does anyone have any insight on this?
I have a fear of heights. I have to climb short ladders. But, I can do it.
I have gone for medical procedures where I brought a friend and asked if they can come in with me. I was told no.