I relate to everything here. The final bomb, the stuff about jealousy. When I see someone I perceive as doing better than me, I always feel like a fraud who will get found out. I had a father who told me I was nothing and a nobody. And a mom who always shut my feelings down. I carry a lot jealousy when I see someone who looks better, has their life together and so on. And now I get that it comes from distorted beliefs about myself. I’m afraid to be in a relationship because I fear I’ll just compare myself to everyone. One video down, a few more to go. I’m hopeful that after listening to this series I’ll be better equipped to handle my emotions and come out on the other side feeling more empowered. Thank you
Totally resonate with that , I always wondered why I was so competitive in relationships terrified someone would see me as being stupid (that's my bugbear) and that they will find out I do not exist that I am a fraud
5:00 everything is trigger to anger if from CT 14:14 self talk, internalizing voice of parents 21:00 with CT you live with lies disrespect and unfairness all the time, anger, cortisol, unresolved anger, stuffing 25:00 response often disproportionate 25:20 frustration that no one heard them 27:40 complex greatest damage is to identity, shame 35:00 anger to protect self
Seeing myself with new eyes . . It's good, it is God's healing journey. These videos are the tactical guide to what God's amazing grace is reasoning out within me.
16:30 I've learned that when somebody tries to pass off sour comments as humour that went above your head, they're actually being negative and trying to cover it up.
I come from a severe childhood trauma past (sexual and physical). Both of my parents suffered severe trauma as children who unfortunately and unintentionally passed their trauma on to myself and my siblings. Though my mother eventually began to heal herself and my younger siblings had a very different upbringing than I did. I can relate to some of this here, but only in a relatively minor way. In that I recognize these emotions or thoughts in my head but the discussions on shame are MUCH more relatable for me. After 45 years on this earth I must say that ALL of this has always been rather intuitive to me, even as a child. Unfortunately as a young teen and young adult I sought out mental health services and received the opposite of what would have been helpful. Everything Tim discusses in his talks would have been FAR more beneficial for me than the drugs and bs therapy provided. I am so grateful that this content is available, though I must admit it is unfortunate that many of the most important issues are not available.
@@tango-bravothank so much for your reply, I will look into DeJesus, I want to say that I am so sorry that you can relate… However I am reassured that you’ve found your way here. Which with, over the last year and a half I have found more “help” from than ANYTHING else I have tried, aside from the drugs (which are only more of those dreadful bandaid’s). I wish you the very best of luck and success ❤️
I have complex childhood trauma, FSA and childhood sexual abuse. and have been trying to work on my anger for years! this is the best explanation about what happens to children of psychological family abuse (and the adult fallout) I have ever heard, and I've been in therapy for almost 30 years now. thank you so much for sharing these lectures! this lecture on anger as it relates to family dynamics and CPTSD should be turned into a book!
Nailed it! I can so relate to everything he is talking about. I will now be watching the whole 12 videos in due time. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me.
One technique I’ve used to calm myself is to imagine how I’d feel if i had those parents who were doting and gave me unconditional love. I picture them in my mind, what they look like, what they’d say then i open my eyes and i see everything differently and i move according to that feeling.
Oooo Tim… its so good to listen to you again… its been a long time since I have. I overcame so much of my issues going through your course in 2020. My angry has recently reared its ugly head more fierce and huge than ever ever before. And I need my react family ❤️❤️❤️
I feel guilty bc I was very quiet and controlled until my 30s, when I entered the work world in a professional capacity and was suddenly in charge of a whole department. It was an extremely demanding, high-stress job. That's when my anger starting coming out and I feel like such a fool for blowing up in front of others and taking out my frustrations on poor, unsuspecting employees. I was surprised at how forgiving they were, but it was still inappropriate. Now it is super clear to me that I have a lot of pent-up anger at my parents bc they never let me be angry. They tortured me emotionally and then blamed me for being an angry person. It was a recipe for crazymaking. There was a double-bind: stay quiet and pretend like it didn't bother me, or react and then get accused of having behavioral problems. Years later, when I fully woke up to the inappropriateness of my angry outbursts at work, I felt such deep shame that I had to isolate myself and process it on my own. It was like quitting heroin cold turkey. I was determined that I would get to the bottom of the reasons for why I was so angry. And eventually I did, largely with the help of TH-camrs like Tim and others!
I cannot wait for this series I’m suffering from severe compelx cptsd from an abusive marriage with a narc. I’m not realize he also suffered from complex trauma from his childhood but it was no excuse for how he abused me. Now my cptsd is showing up with my abusive family who just thinks I’m angry all the time but they keep lying and disrespecting me. I never understood why liars bother me so much and dishonest makes me rage until now. Thank you !
This is the next level for me. Wow!!! I don't have a doctrine. I'm more of a seeker of my own truth and healing. But I'm headed to a Christian camp next week and I wondered how I would correlate what I know now versus what I was raised with. Thank you Tim I just want to give you the biggest hug.
Lava below the surface is actually called magma. When it erupts, it's called lava. Not all lava explodes. Nevertheless, your message gets across. Thank you 😊
Yeah, I'm the punctual one in the family. I was also the caregiver/chauffer/social planner for my dad. My dad was the only person I'd wait for bc I was caring for him. But I won't wait for people if they're late. Yes, I have been called mean. I don't care. I took care of my dad all alone without any help from local family. So if any family members needed something or a ride somewhere and I was made to wait, I didn’t offer again. Its disrespectful and I have stuff to do.
My boyfriend is extremely angry, can’t control his emotions at all 😭 I love him but I am suffering so much at the point of being unhappy with him. I don’t know what I can do because it’s been toxic to me
From someone that suffer from anger trauma adhd and all the BS. First of all if he want you In his life he needs to aknowledge IT. He is in great pain invite to see a therapist and see from there . Does he suffer from childhood trauma or adhd ? Does he regret everytime he get angry ? IF he doesnt you cannot change him and I will invite you to get the hell out of here because he needs to heal. It will be hard he will need support and patience but he needs to know he is hurting his loved ones ! .
I've remain single intentionally most of my life because I know that I have no control over my sometimes rage when I feel that I'm being closed in on or pressured by someone else. I don't want to inflict pain on others. It's been lonely. I'm a Christian and I'm a real believer in being obedient to Christ and living out the Christian life the way God's called us to. However, my anger and jealousy has brought on so much shame... especially because I'm a Christian.. that now I'm 68 years old and friendless. Every time I reach out it's almost like the Twilight Zone I get walls even when it comes to going to or searching for a professional thats not going to tell me how to be happy but is in tune with understanding that happiness has nothing to do with this mental disability. Unfortunately, the Christian counselors are useless and I do feel that it's more of a physical issue and always have... but with that being said I do believe according to God's word that Satan is the one that is the devour and has brought this hell on from childhood to destroy what Our Father in heaven intended for good.. I've always said because of the verbal violence, lack of any kind of human touch or love in my childhood that something inside of my little brain was damaged. And now I'm finding out it was. But out of all the counselors and psychiatrists that I've been to in my entire life none of them addressed any of this.
I am very patient most of the times,but after my beautiful daughter died, In the mourning process, I get spells of anger when I deal with a narcissistic person. I withdraw into my house, and feel as if I am a totally different person.Its as if all my good thoughts diszppear and my thoughts and tensions all boil in my head. I try not to talk or vent qith anyone. Lots of times I pray
Point of interest: bullies don't become bullies because physical size allows them to do so. My mom is a retired elementary school teacher. One year, she had to deal with an ongoing bullying situation in her classroom caused by one of the physically smallest kids in her class bullying one of the physically largest. The large kid was very gentle and passive; the smaller kid had some anger issues and could sometimes be aggressive. Size alone does not a bully make.
I had a child with this issue. She always got blamed because she was larger and taller than her peers. We make a lot of assumptions about people based on physical appearance that people have no control over.
This doesn't apply only to drug or alcohol addicts, what about control addicts. I know a child of an alcoholic (that hates drugs or alcohol) that acts just like this.
Add a chronic stalking trolling neighbor on top. No one to call. No problem. All the resources and dialectical training is not enough when there is really no one to call on. Now you're offered antipsychotic drugs ( especially if you're low income since you can't afford someone who can actually listen and consider that what you're experiencing may be based on reality )
I learned a lot from the video but I do think keeping scripture solid is important and proverb is 21:9 says Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious "woman"....not a "person".
You think that... nevertheless its none of your business who they are and how they drive, eventhough they might endanger yourself. You know this before you si in car, that there are these risks. You g into those situations willingly
I got excited, to find someone who knows what they are talking about. Things are dire right now, but i find im getting hit with damned ads every 5 minutes. Do you NOT know how that destroys the whole dynamic of being helped? Who, could sit and face these issues, and get insesantly blasted with useless ads? One at the begining, one at the end. Thats it. Wish i could watch. I need this. But not ads.
I think you have missed out when you are in a situation with angry person. No one can reason with them. Why are so many women going to women going to womens aid. Because of the beating that they get. OR kids who can't defend themselves
I relate to everything here. The final bomb, the stuff about jealousy. When I see someone I perceive as doing better than me, I always feel like a fraud who will get found out. I had a father who told me I was nothing and a nobody. And a mom who always shut my feelings down. I carry a lot jealousy when I see someone who looks better, has their life together and so on. And now I get that it comes from distorted beliefs about myself. I’m afraid to be in a relationship because I fear I’ll just compare myself to everyone. One video down, a few more to go. I’m hopeful that after listening to this series I’ll be better equipped to handle my emotions and come out on the other side feeling more empowered. Thank you
Totally resonate with that , I always wondered why I was so competitive in relationships terrified someone would see me as being stupid (that's my bugbear) and that they will find out I do not exist that I am a fraud
My mom was like your father
How does this guy know so much about how I feel and am on the inside? Amazing.
Very sad not angry.sad he csn do so much to me!!
He won triple gold at the therapy olympics
5:00 everything is trigger to anger if from CT
14:14 self talk, internalizing voice of parents
21:00 with CT you live with lies disrespect and unfairness all the time, anger, cortisol, unresolved anger, stuffing
25:00 response often disproportionate
25:20 frustration that no one heard them
27:40 complex greatest damage is to identity, shame
35:00 anger to protect self
+
Found this when I truly needed it.
It's one of those miracles that seem small.at first, but in reality, if appreciated, it's HUGE!!
Coincidence is an illusion
Seeing myself with new eyes . .
It's good, it is God's healing journey.
These videos are the tactical guide to what God's amazing grace is reasoning out within me.
This man is phenomenal ❤🎉
The delivery of this information is absolutely brilliant 💯
I’m so grateful to find this man, he articulates the behaviors we act and helps us understand and try to better ourselves! Thank you!
16:30 I've learned that when somebody tries to pass off sour comments as humour that went above your head, they're actually being negative and trying to cover it up.
I come from a severe childhood trauma past (sexual and physical). Both of my parents suffered severe trauma as children who unfortunately and unintentionally passed their trauma on to myself and my siblings. Though my mother eventually began to heal herself and my younger siblings had a very different upbringing than I did. I can relate to some of this here, but only in a relatively minor way. In that I recognize these emotions or thoughts in my head but the discussions on shame are MUCH more relatable for me.
After 45 years on this earth I must say that ALL of this has always been rather intuitive to me, even as a child. Unfortunately as a young teen and young adult I sought out mental health services and received the opposite of what would have been helpful. Everything Tim discusses in his talks would have been FAR more beneficial for me than the drugs and bs therapy provided. I am so grateful that this content is available, though I must admit it is unfortunate that many of the most important issues are not available.
@@tango-bravothank so much for your reply, I will look into DeJesus, I want to say that I am so sorry that you can relate… However I am reassured that you’ve found your way here. Which with, over the last year and a half I have found more “help” from than ANYTHING else I have tried, aside from the drugs (which are only more of those dreadful bandaid’s). I wish you the very best of luck and success ❤️
I have complex childhood trauma, FSA and childhood sexual abuse. and have been trying to work on my anger for years! this is the best explanation about what happens to children of psychological family abuse (and the adult fallout) I have ever heard, and I've been in therapy for almost 30 years now. thank you so much for sharing these lectures! this lecture on anger as it relates to family dynamics and CPTSD should be turned into a book!
DUDE,your spot on about everything..🤓
Oh man this man has figured me out!
Yes, indeed.
I can't believe how accurate he is in this.
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
No he isn’t
Nailed it! I can so relate to everything he is talking about. I will now be watching the whole 12 videos in due time. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with me.
Thanks!
Current going through healing Journey . Praise God .
One technique I’ve used to calm myself is to imagine how I’d feel if i had those parents who were doting and gave me unconditional love. I picture them in my mind, what they look like, what they’d say then i open my eyes and i see everything differently and i move according to that feeling.
I should be taking down notes. My first reaction almost was to get slightly angry at myself AGAIN!!
Oooo Tim… its so good to listen to you again… its been a long time since I have. I overcame so much of my issues going through your course in 2020. My angry has recently reared its ugly head more fierce and huge than ever ever before. And I need my react family ❤️❤️❤️
I have black rages. So scary
He man thank you for posting this. I realized this was and is something I deal with because of trauma. I know now and now can work on it. Thank you
I feel guilty bc I was very quiet and controlled until my 30s, when I entered the work world in a professional capacity and was suddenly in charge of a whole department. It was an extremely demanding, high-stress job. That's when my anger starting coming out and I feel like such a fool for blowing up in front of others and taking out my frustrations on poor, unsuspecting employees. I was surprised at how forgiving they were, but it was still inappropriate. Now it is super clear to me that I have a lot of pent-up anger at my parents bc they never let me be angry. They tortured me emotionally and then blamed me for being an angry person. It was a recipe for crazymaking. There was a double-bind: stay quiet and pretend like it didn't bother me, or react and then get accused of having behavioral problems. Years later, when I fully woke up to the inappropriateness of my angry outbursts at work, I felt such deep shame that I had to isolate myself and process it on my own. It was like quitting heroin cold turkey. I was determined that I would get to the bottom of the reasons for why I was so angry. And eventually I did, largely with the help of TH-camrs like Tim and others!
Excellent describing our anger ..this an excellent explanation of complex trauma and anger…
What is your emotional default setting…
I cannot wait for this series I’m suffering from severe compelx cptsd from an abusive marriage with a narc. I’m not realize he also suffered from complex trauma from his childhood but it was no excuse for how he abused me. Now my cptsd is showing up with my abusive family who just thinks I’m angry all the time but they keep lying and disrespecting me. I never understood why liars bother me so much and dishonest makes me rage until now. Thank you !
This is the next level for me. Wow!!! I don't have a doctrine. I'm more of a seeker of my own truth and healing. But I'm headed to a Christian camp next week and I wondered how I would correlate what I know now versus what I was raised with. Thank you Tim I just want to give you the biggest hug.
Thank you for another Excellent Video!
Ty for your body of work. It's very helpful and informative
Oh Thank You Tim! Thank You! It all makes SO MUCH sense now!
This gave me so much knowledge. I never thought I am gonna know this things ever. God bless Tim!
Lava below the surface is actually called magma. When it erupts, it's called lava. Not all lava explodes. Nevertheless, your message gets across. Thank you 😊
Such a great teaching. Good bless you, Tim. 🤍
🤝
Important topic
👌
So nice to deal with these issues & topics what a way to connect 👏 😀
The anger gives energy to get you going
The best. Thank you!
Yeah, I'm the punctual one in the family. I was also the caregiver/chauffer/social planner for my dad. My dad was the only person I'd wait for bc I was caring for him. But I won't wait for people if they're late. Yes, I have been called mean. I don't care. I took care of my dad all alone without any help from local family. So if any family members needed something or a ride somewhere and I was made to wait, I didn’t offer again. Its disrespectful and I have stuff to do.
I feel this. People who don't respect a person's time don't deserve to be allowed to steal more of it.
I appreciate your leaving the religion until the end, thank you.
My boyfriend is extremely angry, can’t control his emotions at all 😭 I love him but I am suffering so much at the point of being unhappy with him. I don’t know what I can do because it’s been toxic to me
From someone that suffer from anger trauma adhd and all the BS.
First of all if he want you In his life he needs to aknowledge IT.
He is in great pain
invite to see a therapist and see from there .
Does he suffer from childhood trauma or adhd ?
Does he regret everytime he get angry ?
IF he doesnt you cannot change him and I will invite you to get the hell out of here because he needs to heal.
It will be hard he will need support and patience but he needs to know he is hurting his loved ones ! .
he has to want to get better, if he doesn't maybe consider it might not be worth it for you to take the risk to be around him
Trauma brain
Love yourself more and get out. He needs to work on himself rather than hurting women.
Leave
I've remain single intentionally most of my life because I know that I have no control over my sometimes rage when I feel that I'm being closed in on or pressured by someone else. I don't want to inflict pain on others. It's been lonely. I'm a Christian and I'm a real believer in being obedient to Christ and living out the Christian life the way God's called us to. However, my anger and jealousy has brought on so much shame... especially because I'm a Christian.. that now I'm 68 years old and friendless. Every time I reach out it's almost like the Twilight Zone I get walls even when it comes to going to or searching for a professional thats not going to tell me how to be happy but is in tune with understanding that happiness has nothing to do with this mental disability. Unfortunately, the Christian counselors are useless and I do feel that it's more of a physical issue and always have... but with that being said I do believe according to God's word that Satan is the one that is the devour and has brought this hell on from childhood to destroy what Our Father in heaven intended for good.. I've always said because of the verbal violence, lack of any kind of human touch or love in my childhood that something inside of my little brain was damaged. And now I'm finding out it was. But out of all the counselors and psychiatrists that I've been to in my entire life none of them addressed any of this.
Oh this is me. Man, i hope i can help myself with this info. No money for therapy.
His punch list I'm ticking every box, anger is a boundary tool, constant fear I'm going to get killed. Never suppress anger
> constant fear I'm going to get killed
Are you aware of the people who call themselves W.E.F? I think that's their goal...
@@rabbitcreativeIt's okay though, we are not our body
Wonderful!
I am very patient most of the times,but after my beautiful daughter died, In the mourning process, I get spells of anger when I deal with a narcissistic person. I withdraw into my house, and feel as if I am a totally different person.Its as if all my good thoughts diszppear and my thoughts and tensions all boil in my head. I try not to talk or vent qith anyone. Lots of times I pray
a really good instructional video
D to A in various timeframes depending on the trigger.
Thanks Tim
Are there more videos or only the start of a series?
Beautiful & profound songs.
22:00
Point of interest: bullies don't become bullies because physical size allows them to do so.
My mom is a retired elementary school teacher. One year, she had to deal with an ongoing bullying situation in her classroom caused by one of the physically smallest kids in her class bullying one of the physically largest. The large kid was very gentle and passive; the smaller kid had some anger issues and could sometimes be aggressive.
Size alone does not a bully make.
I had a child with this issue. She always got blamed because she was larger and taller than her peers.
We make a lot of assumptions about people based on physical appearance that people have no control over.
AMEN!! Thank you for acknowledging this ❤❤
Sounds like Napoleon complex lol
Hurt people hurt people
29:55
Who is a survivor , still single and 35++ 🙋🏻♀️
Wow it's crazy. I would never think all these emotions are stemmed from anger. Make sense just u would never think such thing
The religious try to beat it out of us-it comes out later; especially if you became the scapegoat
29:10
My son has explosive anger and breaks my things. Wants me to heal his intrusive thoughts. How can get a hold of you?
Please get your son into therapy ASAP!!
family anger...8..my anger 4..Lot less now.
This doesn't apply only to drug or alcohol addicts, what about control addicts. I know a child of an alcoholic (that hates drugs or alcohol) that acts just like this.
I know right dude
Unfortunately i have it all due to ptsd
Lovely
we try to use anger as the fuel, not as the trigger or the motivation. Then I will be burned out with that anger myself.
I repress my anger, what I tend to do is isolating..
Add a chronic stalking trolling neighbor on top. No one to call. No problem. All the resources and dialectical training is not enough when there is really no one to call on. Now you're offered antipsychotic drugs ( especially if you're low income since you can't afford someone who can actually listen and consider that what you're experiencing may be based on reality )
I learned a lot from the video but I do think keeping scripture solid is important and proverb is 21:9 says
Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious "woman"....not a "person".
Helpless driver? Nah, all the ones I get angry at have done something dangerous, rude, impulsive etc.
You think that... nevertheless its none of your business who they are and how they drive, eventhough they might endanger yourself. You know this before you si in car, that there are these risks. You g into those situations willingly
Revenge
💕👍
I got excited, to find someone who knows what they are talking about. Things are dire right now, but i find im getting hit with damned ads every 5 minutes. Do you NOT know how that destroys the whole dynamic of being helped? Who, could sit and face these issues, and get insesantly blasted with useless ads? One at the begining, one at the end. Thats it. Wish i could watch. I need this. But not ads.
Get TH-cam premium. No commercials!
TH-cam premium. Better subscription than netflix etc.
Not self righteous-no child deserves 50 lashes...oh ya, and for something you did not even do
Little miss Jesus 😂I resemble that comment! 😅
I think you have missed out when you are in a situation with angry person. No one can reason with them. Why are so many women going to women going to womens aid. Because of the beating that they get. OR kids who can't defend themselves
Did God tell you how he designed anger?
Glad we can leave the christian part.
Because god is just pure anger and death.
Pure love and life. It’s people who cause problems for other people.
@@vinc-e01 Ha Ha, yes and people created god, so the argument is circular😄
So this is scripture based? Mh. Seems so
No.
Not to me and I hate jesus
I don't like the way the bible labels people fools!!
I was literally swearing at u in a blind rage the whole time i was skipping that ridiculous song you played at the beginning. Was that on purpose?