I've been reading the comments and thought at first that it was a bad idea to send him cake for ditching you in and your friends in the project, but then I realized this was more for you than for him. You made this to clear your mind from any bad feeling against him, and even though he didn't even respond to you note, you know atleast that you ended this situation In good terms, giving him no reason to be mad.
Be sympathetic, but don't overthink for others. You could be sorry for what he has gone through in life, but speaking up for the group project is not something to feel bad about. Don't confuse yourself with sympathy and apology.
This was a very mature and compassionate action from you and your classmate. Also, it was good to hear that “Jake” came back. The reality is that everyone experiences life’s ups and down. You can sleep well!
Hi Tiffany, From someone who is about to graduate college, there comes a time where everyone has to learn the hard way about what the real world will throw at them. If Jake were to do this at a job, they would have fired him and not apologized for giving him consequences that he well deserved. I dont want to over analyze, so ill just say that you probably have the same mindset I have, which is "feel guilty when you stand up for yourself and for your work". The only thing that taught him was he could be rewarded for being a Karen. Not saying you taught that to him, but the situation in general gave him that advantage.
this is so true. that’s why me and my group members decided to tell the professor about our one group member who hasn’t done anything and the professor simply didn’t care and gave her the grade we got for literally doing nothing. sometimes speaking up doesn’t do anything which sucks :/
Tiffany Ong no sis 😭 he needed to apologize, Not You. You did everything right in speaking up about how he wasn't doing shit, and then after realizing that he was going through something you sympathized yet still realized that it sucked what he did. As my other comment says, he should've apologized not for what he was going through but for what he did to you guys, because that lack of communication is inexcusable no matter the situation.
While factors that affect one's mental health could take a toll on their ability to participate within school and school projects.. I sure hope he apologized too for what he put y'all through. He shouldn't apologize for how his situation affected him, no, but he should've apologized for not communicating, not doing his part, bashing your character, etc. He needs some MORE time of reflection if he only said "apology accepted" to you. The only apology you could've given him was if you bashed him for missing out because of his situation, but you didn't, you sympathized with "Jake" and understood that he was going through a hard time. It isn't okay that he's stuck-up like that, he needs time to realize that he played a negative role no matter the situation. Don't apologize for things that someone else should love 💞
Honestly, I don't take bullshit. I dealt with a team member in my group project that has NEVER contributed to everything and provided excuses. Yes, everyone is busy, yes everyone has struggles, but that is your own problem and to even have the audacity to affect other group members is irresponsible and inconsiderate. If you have problems, deal with it on your on accord may it be to drop out of the class for a moment to take care of your own problems and take some time to learn how to prioritize. So what I did was i face to the professor, told him that one specific team member did not contribute to anything at all. I stood up for my hardworking teammates and that person got a zero for the group project. Now, I am working my daily job and honestly, companies will not give two shits about your life hardship, they may have some sick time or some other programs within the company to aid hardship, but all you gotta do is deal with it and learn to prioritize and grind.
Seems to me that you aren't being a team leader yourself. You care about yourself more than others in reality. Look, from what you wrote, you sounded very priviledged. Yes i agree, everyone have struggles but some have it more worse or isn't able to find the right way to cope. You as a team member should help him. Being a team member isn't always about the task, it's also how you handle others. This in turn will help you in the long run to be more mature and thoughtful.
This needs voting down, not up. It's July '21 as I write this and the company I work for (and have worked for 10 years) is very supportive. We *did* have managers up until a few years ago that had the old "leave your issues at the door, don't bring them into work" mentality but they have long gone. That said yes you were right to stand up for yourself and your group, but your wider comments about companies not caring and the whole "you're on your own" vibe just doesn't wash now.
I totally understand where you’re coming from but i must agree with some of the comments because i am someone who doesn’t always speak up when something unfair is being done to me and i think you shouldn’t feel guilty for standing up for you and your group but at the end of the day i understand why you guys did it. Even tho i just discovered your videos and am binge watching your videos wanna let you know im already a supporter 💜
This might have been something today's me would do, the me of 3+ years ago wouldn't. I probably wouldn't apologise (even today's me lol), but I probably would reach out and try my best to make things okay, like texting or reaching out, sending a group email or something, but not apologising in it. And no cakes lol, I'm not THAT nice XD
someone said this in the comments earlier... but sounds like Jake is an entitled Karen in the making. Life will hit him hard cause people in life aren't going to be nice to his antics
Hi Tiffany. I wanted to say I am really, really proud of you. It's not easy to do such a hard thing like forgiving and making things good with your teammate. I think this skill speaks very clearly on your EQ, and I really commend you for that. Thanks for the vid.
Ah, yes, group projects... If there are 5 people in your group: 1 person will be a leader, 2 people will just do the project, 1 person would kinda do the work, and there's always always that 1 person who does nothing at all. And usually if 2 or more girls are in the group, then they are usually the leaders of the group.
You handled this beautifully, you went above and beyond. Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong. But if you felt bad, then your decision to apologize was the right one. My tendency is to scream "INJUSTICE!!!" but you are a role model to me now. I've subscribed and I look forward to your future videos.
I also had a bad experience with group projects. It was an online MBA so we really didn't know each other. The team could be either 2 or 3 individuals. At first one person agreed to team up, but didn't move forward with the process. Next thing, I found out he quit the class. Then, I found another person at the last minute willing so it was a team of two. And he didn't contribute; he sent some hand written notes at the last minute which were all wrong. And it was 2 projects we were supposed to do. So I did all the work by myself. What could I do? Team collaboration also counted towards the score. This was a compulsory module. At my electives my No.1 criteria was to chose modules with no group projects.
you are such a good person for doing what you did. Jake sounds like an awful person and did not deserve the cake nor the apology but your reaction to his outburst is a reflection of who you are and you have shown that you are a wonderful person. 💖
someone taking advantage of others and feeling nothing dam sorry...but finally earned the hours' prepared cake ! what is wrong with having an enemy ? I don't feel insecure at all to have an enemy. It clarifies who I stand up for and what I celebrate for. Honestly, I 'd dealt with such a irresponsible slack-off team member....What I did would earn me the name of " bitch" in your eyes...hahaha...
Whilst I do believe you did the right thing talking to him, I don't think you were the reason he left school, nor do I think he is the type of person to just let down his team like this. More than likely, something was going very wrong in his life, hence the leaving of school for a year.
You are all sweet for understanding, but I just do not think puting it on the internet is the best idea. Just my opinion, but aside from that you guys handled it pretty well.
![[Q&A] why I quit YouTube for a year & where I am now](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A6c2QdXCctw/mqdefault.jpg)
![[Q&A] why I quit YouTube for a year & where I am now](/img/tr.png)
I've been reading the comments and thought at first that it was a bad idea to send him cake for ditching you in and your friends in the project, but then I realized this was more for you than for him. You made this to clear your mind from any bad feeling against him, and even though he didn't even respond to you note, you know atleast that you ended this situation In good terms, giving him no reason to be mad.
Be sympathetic, but don't overthink for others. You could be sorry for what he has gone through in life, but speaking up for the group project is not something to feel bad about. Don't confuse yourself with sympathy and apology.
👍👍👍👍👍 I agree to you
👍
Jake definitely has some growing up to do. Very nice of you to do that though. I definitely wouldn’t have lol.
This was a very mature and compassionate action from you and your classmate. Also, it was good to hear that “Jake” came back. The reality is that everyone experiences life’s ups and down. You can sleep well!
Hi Tiffany,
From someone who is about to graduate college, there comes a time where everyone has to learn the hard way about what the real world will throw at them. If Jake were to do this at a job, they would have fired him and not apologized for giving him consequences that he well deserved. I dont want to over analyze, so ill just say that you probably have the same mindset I have, which is "feel guilty when you stand up for yourself and for your work". The only thing that taught him was he could be rewarded for being a Karen. Not saying you taught that to him, but the situation in general gave him that advantage.
this is so true. that’s why me and my group members decided to tell the professor about our one group member who hasn’t done anything and the professor simply didn’t care and gave her the grade we got for literally doing nothing. sometimes speaking up doesn’t do anything which sucks :/
Wow you are so sweet. It would’ve taken all of my muscle fibers for me to apologize lol
It was def hard but the right thing to do!
Tiffany Ong no sis 😭 he needed to apologize, Not You. You did everything right in speaking up about how he wasn't doing shit, and then after realizing that he was going through something you sympathized yet still realized that it sucked what he did. As my other comment says, he should've apologized not for what he was going through but for what he did to you guys, because that lack of communication is inexcusable no matter the situation.
While factors that affect one's mental health could take a toll on their ability to participate within school and school projects.. I sure hope he apologized too for what he put y'all through. He shouldn't apologize for how his situation affected him, no, but he should've apologized for not communicating, not doing his part, bashing your character, etc. He needs some MORE time of reflection if he only said "apology accepted" to you. The only apology you could've given him was if you bashed him for missing out because of his situation, but you didn't, you sympathized with "Jake" and understood that he was going through a hard time. It isn't okay that he's stuck-up like that, he needs time to realize that he played a negative role no matter the situation. Don't apologize for things that someone else should love 💞
To Forgive and apologize, makes your heart and mind clean and happy❤
You forgiving him shows how strong and loving you are!
That was super sweet! You guys are precious. That’s too bad his reaction was so poor.
Forgiveness is what we need right now we should do it even though it is hard I am so glad of what you did
wow this is so nice!! so mature at such a young age
Honestly, I don't take bullshit. I dealt with a team member in my group project that has NEVER contributed to everything and provided excuses. Yes, everyone is busy, yes everyone has struggles, but that is your own problem and to even have the audacity to affect other group members is irresponsible and inconsiderate. If you have problems, deal with it on your on accord may it be to drop out of the class for a moment to take care of your own problems and take some time to learn how to prioritize. So what I did was i face to the professor, told him that one specific team member did not contribute to anything at all. I stood up for my hardworking teammates and that person got a zero for the group project. Now, I am working my daily job and honestly, companies will not give two shits about your life hardship, they may have some sick time or some other programs within the company to aid hardship, but all you gotta do is deal with it and learn to prioritize and grind.
Seems to me that you aren't being a team leader yourself. You care about yourself more than others in reality. Look, from what you wrote, you sounded very priviledged.
Yes i agree, everyone have struggles but some have it more worse or isn't able to find the right way to cope. You as a team member should help him. Being a team member isn't always about the task, it's also how you handle others. This in turn will help you in the long run to be more mature and thoughtful.
i can’t like this comment cause of N I C E
Damn that's mean.. idk u should talk it out with him first then go to ur professor tbh
This needs voting down, not up. It's July '21 as I write this and the company I work for (and have worked for 10 years) is very supportive. We *did* have managers up until a few years ago that had the old "leave your issues at the door, don't bring them into work" mentality but they have long gone. That said yes you were right to stand up for yourself and your group, but your wider comments about companies not caring and the whole "you're on your own" vibe just doesn't wash now.
I've just been binge watching your videos. I wanna get into Stanford too. I'm currently a senior in high school.
It's very hard to get It but perhaps you'll be lucky
I totally understand where you’re coming from but i must agree with some of the comments because i am someone who doesn’t always speak up when something unfair is being done to me and i think you shouldn’t feel guilty for standing up for you and your group but at the end of the day i understand why you guys did it.
Even tho i just discovered your videos and am binge watching your videos wanna let you know im already a supporter 💜
You’re a great person - mature to do the right thing eventhough he was the one that did the wrong thing
This might have been something today's me would do, the me of 3+ years ago wouldn't. I probably wouldn't apologise (even today's me lol), but I probably would reach out and try my best to make things okay, like texting or reaching out, sending a group email or something, but not apologising in it. And no cakes lol, I'm not THAT nice XD
someone said this in the comments earlier... but sounds like Jake is an entitled Karen in the making. Life will hit him hard cause people in life aren't going to be nice to his antics
Hi Tiffany. I wanted to say I am really, really proud of you. It's not easy to do such a hard thing like forgiving and making things good with your teammate. I think this skill speaks very clearly on your EQ, and I really commend you for that. Thanks for the vid.
Your friend's hair is so beautiful, and both of you are so pretty!! 😊❤️
Ah, yes, group projects... If there are 5 people in your group: 1 person will be a leader, 2 people will just do the project, 1 person would kinda do the work, and there's always always that 1 person who does nothing at all. And usually if 2 or more girls are in the group, then they are usually the leaders of the group.
You handled this beautifully, you went above and beyond. Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong. But if you felt bad, then your decision to apologize was the right one. My tendency is to scream "INJUSTICE!!!" but you are a role model to me now. I've subscribed and I look forward to your future videos.
I didn't get it. HE did the wrong, and the GROUP apologized? What? "apology accepted"? Who the hell he think he is? the group made him think higher...
Same thing is happening in my last year project too. Our friend is not on the same page as us.
He did not deserve those cakes
Dang... That's Paris Baguette cake! Envious!
+ This is so wise, love your enemies 🤍
I also had a bad experience with group projects. It was an online MBA so we really didn't know each other. The team could be either 2 or 3 individuals. At first one person agreed to team up, but didn't move forward with the process. Next thing, I found out he quit the class. Then, I found another person at the last minute willing so it was a team of two. And he didn't contribute; he sent some hand written notes at the last minute which were all wrong. And it was 2 projects we were supposed to do. So I did all the work by myself. What could I do? Team collaboration also counted towards the score. This was a compulsory module. At my electives my No.1 criteria was to chose modules with no group projects.
He didn't deserve any apologies for what he did to you!
This is such a nice video! Thank you for doing this!
you are such a good person for doing what you did. Jake sounds like an awful person and did not deserve the cake nor the apology but your reaction to his outburst is a reflection of who you are and you have shown that you are a wonderful person. 💖
or perhaps just a tremendously overwhelmed and not entirely mature person
Really cool video! Could you make a video about the situation and how Stanford handelt it ? 🤗 Love you’re Channel
You and your team are truly amazing ❤️
A beautiful with a big heart.
someone taking advantage of others and feeling nothing dam sorry...but finally earned the hours' prepared cake ! what is wrong with having an enemy ? I don't feel insecure at all to have an enemy. It clarifies who I stand up for and what I celebrate for. Honestly, I 'd dealt with such a irresponsible slack-off team member....What I did would earn me the name of " bitch" in your eyes...hahaha...
I really appreciate that you have a big heart to make up with Jake 👍
Whilst I do believe you did the right thing talking to him, I don't think you were the reason he left school, nor do I think he is the type of person to just let down his team like this. More than likely, something was going very wrong in his life, hence the leaving of school for a year.
Tifanny what's your opinion on group projects in college?
I think they’re a great way to meet people! You just have to make sure you form the right group :)
@@TiffanyOng I see! What about random groupings? 😂
Those are fun too! I’ve had great experiences with random groups
The saying "You should put more effort selecting your lab/project/group partner than your life partner" is true - learnt by me the hard way.
I want those cakes
You are all sweet for understanding, but I just do not think puting it on the internet is the best idea. Just my opinion, but aside from that you guys handled it pretty well.
why she lowkey looks like jin from bts :)
Wth
💖💖💖💖
💜
❤